Politicians Category
Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
Franco Only Had One Ball
GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO had just one ball.
It turns out that Franco and Hitler had one ball – each. It seems that to be in the Axis powers you needed one testicle – it being their way.
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Posted: 18th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Swine Fever: Julian Lewis MP is Anorak’s Man Of The Year
AMID all the MPs expenses claims for foreign applicances and Euro porn, one man stands alone – and ramrod stright – for standards of Britishness and Our Way.
That man is Julian Lewis, the shadow defence minister. In his hands our great nation is ably defended.
Mr Lewis claimed £119 for a wall-mounted trouser press and £5 for a “sweater tidy”.
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Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (3)
MP Claims For Queen-Sized Bed
SWINE Fever grips British politics and who better than Her Mjestry The Queen to make a stand for probity and thrift?
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Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Pigman David Chaytor Suspended: Video
MP David Chaytor was suspended by …
a) Downing Street
b) Snout
c) Testicles
d) By the neck
Take your pick… now!
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Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
War On Error: David Chaytor’s Non Existent Mortgage
LET’S play Tabloid Bingo! See if you can join up the following stories abgout David Chaytor, Tam Dalyell and Jason Mackie, 21, from Oxfordshire, who was travelling in the Basharan area of central Helmand…
A Royal Marine who was killed instantly when an explosive struck his vehicle in Afghanistan has been named.
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Posted: 16th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)
Swine Fever: MPs Expenses, Repossessions And Alan Duncan’s Gardening Video
LET’S play Tabloid Bingo! See if you can join up the following stories:
Eyes down!
The number of people who have lost their homes has soared by more than 50% in the first three months of the year.
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Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (9)
Swine Fever: MPs Cash In While Troops Die
A READERS writes on Swine Fever and war:
These people are sent to fight at our behest, ill equipped and having to fund necessary items from their own salary, whilst the Govt who sent them squander an as yet unknown and obscene amount of tax payers money on cushy living
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Posted: 15th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Mao Zedong In MPs Expenses Scandal
WHILE Westminster deals with Swine Fever, over in China politicians are claiming 300 million Renminbi (people’s money!) in a statue of Mao Zedong’s head.
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Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Swine Fever: Conservative MP Andrew MacKay Quits Over Dodgy Expenses
CONSERVATIVE MP Andrew MacKay has resigned as parliamentary aide to David Cameron over what the party says was an “unacceptable” expenses claim.
And in doing so makes the Tories look purged and active – and Labour look worse…
The Swine Fever claims its first victim.
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Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (6)
Former Labour Minister Claimed For Non Existent Mortgage
ELLIOT MORLEY is today’s Swine Fever-infected MP. The Telegraph claims the former minister Elliot Morley claimed £16,000 for a mortgage that did not exist.
It is reported that Morley, Fisheries Minister from 1997 to 2003 and Minister for Environment and Agri-Environment in DEFRA Former minister, continued to claim mortgage interest for 18 months after the loan had been repaid.
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Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Gordon Brown Declares War On Pluto
GORDON Brown is the man who wants it all to end but does not know how to stop it.
Watching Brown twitch and gurn is now a national spectator sport. It’s hideous, of course. Brown cannot be held accountable for every ill; it’s not his fault the breaks feailed on his nanny’s Baby Bentley and killed Old Mr Anorak’s Labrador puppy.
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Posted: 12th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Tourism Minister Follett Says Britain Is Too Dangerous For Visitors
BARABARA Follet is worried. The Minister for Tourism is worried that Britons will not holiday in this fair isle because it is so very dangerous and full of nutters. Says she:
“Thank you to all of you who work in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales’s tourism industry for making our product so good. We’ve become famous for our food, our service and the quality of our heritage, landscapes and our whole cultural offer. Whilst the industry faces some challenges there are lots of opportunities.
“Our currency won’t always be soft, our VAT won’t always be this low, so let’s use it to attract people and keep them coming back. Tourism is a vital industry to our economy.”
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Posted: 12th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Top Tories Put Shit On Expenses
IN Top Tories Put Shit On Expenses, Anorak readers learn not how Tory Lords claimed for each shit they took in an official capacity, at work or in their second homes. No, that would be taking the piss.
This is to do with former minister David Heathcoat-Amory,who claimed £380 for horse shit.
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Posted: 12th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (9)
Government Subsidises Advertising Industry
SO long as the Govenment has target group it aims to help it can continue to spend millions on advertising. Of coulse with ID cards, ad spend will reduce as we are all categorised and so more efficiently targeted.
Hereunder is news on how much the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families and his flabby Bunter-esque department spent on advertising in the last 12 months.
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Posted: 11th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Gordon Brown Joins Orangemen March
IN “PM MAKE-UP SECRETS LOST IN TAXI BY AIDE”, Sun readers learn that Gordon Brown takes the shine off things with a dusting of
terracotta Guerlain. And puts the shine back on by way of an illuminating foam.
It is often said that politics is showbusiness for ugly people, but politicians are now routinely better looking than showbiz types. We like our singers frumpy and plain and our politicians fit and shagable. Susan Boyle or Caroline Flint? What was Tony Blair but a better looking Cliff Richard?
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Posted: 11th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Michelle Obama Pumps Carrie Prejean’s Arms
MORE on Michelle Obama, she of the alluring ways and those to-die-for thumbs and arms; that Carrie Prejean can only dream of. Sally Quinn pays testament to Obama’s arms in the Washington Post:
“May I change the subject,” said a prominent Washington theologian at a recent dinner. The conversation had been high-minded — religion, philosophy, the nature of evil. “I’d like to talk about Michelle Obama’s arms,” he said.
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Posted: 10th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Gordon Brown Stars In New Wallace And Gromit Film: Video
HERE’S a video of Gordon Brown, made by Oscar-winning Stop Motion exponet Nick Park. Brown is to star alongside Wallace and Gromit in The Wrong Prime Minsiter, in which Mr Brown pulls on the wrong trousers and finds he can’t see over the belt buckle, nor be seen….
Posted: 9th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Dick Cheney Got A Child And Missed The Draft
DICK Cheney’s first daughter, “Elizabeth, was born 9 months and 2 days after the Selective Service System announced that childless married men were to be drafted.” Paul Walker notes:
A new study by Andrea Kutinova (now Menclova-she is the nice one down this end of the corridor!) looks at the incentive effects caused by the fact that you could get out of the Vietnam draft in the US if you had family responsibilities. Andrea shows the results of the deferment on paternity timing: it turns out that the threat of being sent to war and the option to stay home if you’ve family responsibilities provides an incentive to speed up family formation.
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Posted: 8th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
Gordon Brown’s Cheap Plumber Leaks On RBS
GORDON Brown’s expenses, and those of 13 members of his cabinet, are the subject of much news chatter. Did you know that Brown claimed £6,577 in bills for a cleaner, which he shared with his brother, between January and March 2006?
Did you know that he signed off a war in Iraq that cost…? Did you know that he raided your pensions, a move that cost..? Did you know that he raised taxes at a cost to you of..? Did you know that Gordon Brown’s cleaner earns over 18k a year?
Did you know that RBS has posted £857m loses for the first 3 months of this year? We now own, through the Treasury, 70 per cent of the bank.
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Posted: 8th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Gordon Brown Stars In Worst Photo Opportunity Ever
ON the day Gordon Brown and members delivers ID cards to the people of Manchester to help the rest of spot geniuine Man United fans from interlopers, we are met with this picture of Leader Number One…
Jacqui Smith Introduces ID Cards For Porn
Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (2)
US Falls In Love With Margaret Thatcher
THE US is falling in love with Margaret Thatcher. Mark Steyn salutes her:
Thirty years ago this month, a grocer’s daughter from the English Midlands became Britain’s female prime minister – not because the electorate was interested in making (Obama-style) history, but just because nothing worked any more. The post-1945 socialist settlement – government health care, government automobile industry, government everything – had broken down: Inflation over 25 percent, marginal taxes rates over 90 percent, mass unemployment, permanent strikes. The country’s union leaders were household names, mainly because they were responsible for everything your household lacked …
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Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Jacqui Smith Introduces ID Cards For Porn
ID Cards are being trialled in Manchester.
The card will cost £30 and the shops will charge another £30 to collect the data, which will be stored on a Government database.
Says Phwaooah! Jacqui Smith on plans to introduce card purchases to chemists and other stores:
“While private companies will clearly benefit from the increased footfall from offering this service, their customers will benefit from being able to quickly provide their biometrics while they are out doing the shopping.”
To the shop:
Mr Smith: “Just this.”
Places bundle of organs on the counter.
Shopkeeper: “Aviation Monthly… And these, sir?”
Mr Smith: “Y-Yes.”
Shopkeeper: “Brown bag, sir? £98.53, please, sir. And your ID card, sir.”
Mr Smith hands over card.
Shopkeeper: “It says you’re married, sir. And that you are white. I believe this copy of Asian Babes supports stereotypical views that Asian woman are servile and there to serve the white man’s needs. The card says your wife is white, sir, and own a bath plug. And what the interest in Aviation, sir? Your data says you are one sixteenth Turkish.”
Presses panic button.
Police arrive, with numbers removed from shoulder straps, and drag Mr Smith away to an unmarked car for screening…
Image: hack
Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Sarah Palin: The Trig Palin Story
SARAH Palin’s son Trig – uncle/brother to (Linda) Tripp Palin – continues to excite douche-basher Andrew Sullivan’s mind:
She explains above what she describes as her “fleeting moment” of temptation to abort Trig when she found out she was pregnant at an out of state energy conference, and her decision to keep the pregnancy secret for seven months (an endeavor made easier by the fact that no one seeing her had any idea up to the very day she announced). I tend to assume that everything Palin says is untrue until proven otherwise, and in this case, have no basis to confirm or deny anything. But it is also only fair to give her own explanation for her secrecy an airing.
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Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Michelle And Barack Publish Romance Novella
BARACK Obama: The AP’s Christine Simmons delivers this report on life in the White House.
The first couple took full advantage of the cool spring night.
God dimmed the moonlight, set loose the nightingales and those Devil ways:
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Posted: 3rd, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Condoleezza Rice Schools Stanford’s Kos Kids: Transcript
CONDOLEEZZA Rice schools liberal students at Stanford University on torture, Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo Bay and US foreign policy under George W Bush’s administration…
Transcript:
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Posted: 3rd, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
