Politicians Category
Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
Gordon Brown And Rubbish Taxes
THE Daily Mail’s front-page headline says it all: “RUBBISH TAX WILL BE DUMPED.”
It’s a decent pun on Gordon Brown’s tax on household waste. And the pay-as-you-throw tax will be dumped.
The Mail has the scoop.
Or as the BBC puts it:
Trials of a scheme to tax householders who throw away too much rubbish are to forge ahead, Downing Street has said.
The Mail, of course, didn’t say which rubbish tax Brown would dump, only that he will…
Posted: 5th, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (6)
Hot Air: Richard Littlejohn V Polly Tonybee
RICHARD Littlejohn versue “pet” Polly Tonybee on the BBC.
Is there a third way?
Posted: 5th, May 2008 | In: Money, Politicians, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (11)
Jeremiah Wright And The New Church Or Oprah
OPRAH Winfrey leaves Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s church becasue “There is the Church of Oprah now”…
Posted: 4th, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment
The We Is Me For Barack Obama
TO Barack Obama, ‘we’ means ‘me’.
The notion that the Amazing Obama might be just another politician doing what politicians do seems to have affronted the senator more than any of the stuff about America being no different from al-Qaida and the government inventing AIDS to kill black people. In his belated “disowning” of Wright, Obama said, “What I think particularly angered me was his suggestion somehow that my previous denunciation of his remarks were somehow political posturing. Anybody who knows me and anybody who knows what I’m about knows that – that I am about trying to bridge gaps and that I see the – the commonality in all people.”
Funny how tinny and generic the sonorous uplift rings when it’s suddenly juxtaposed against something real and messy and human. As he chugged on, the senator couldn’t find his groove and couldn’t prevent himself from returning to pick at the same old bone: “If what somebody says contradicts what you believe so fundamentally, and then he questions whether or not you believe it in front of the National Press Club, then that’s enough. That’s – that’s a show of disrespect to me.”
And we can’t have that, can we?
Posted: 4th, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment
Tony Blair Buys New Labour Theme Park
TONY and Cherie Blair have purchased the former home of the late actor Sir John Gielgud.
The South Pavilion in Wotton Underwood, Buckinghamshire, is the Blairs’ sixth residence.
A Mr Mark Rimell, a director of country house sales for Strutt and Parker, which marketed the property after Sir John’s death there in May 2000, tells the Mail on Sunday:
“When I first viewed the property, Sir John Gielgud’s Oscar was still sitting on the windowsill in the bathroom.
“The house even had its own stage, but overall it was looking somewhat tired.”
It’s a fitting sixth home for the Blairs, especially since Mr Rimmell says the home suffers from a lack of privacy: “You can be standing in one of the public rooms of Wotton House and get a clear view of the whole garden and some of the interior of South Pavilion.”
What good a pile if the plebs can’t see the common man of the people standing in it? It’s what socialism is all about.
But what will the Blairs do with the house when they’re not in residence? Will it pay for itself?
The smart money is on Blair Towers, the New Labour theme park with:
John Prescott Croquet Lawn
John Prescott Merry Go Round – drive a peddle-powered jag around a desk and see if you can catch woman dressed as a leather KitKat
Cherie Blair Supermarket Sweep & Grabber
Jo Moore’s Burial Mound – a roller-coaster ride shaped like the Twin Towers…
* Gain free entry into the Blair holiday village by being Cliff Richard.
And many more…
Posted: 4th, May 2008 | In: Money, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (13)
Trusting Boris Johnson On Education
SAYS the sire Arabella Weir, on Boris Johnson in The Guardian’s desperate chrestomathy of leftyluvviedom for Ken:
How do we trust a guy who says he knows about London, when he’s just taken three of his kids out of state school and put them into private schools?
Question asked, question answered…
Posted: 4th, May 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (17)
Hillary Clinton Like Totally Wipes Out Osama, Osama And Iran
HILLARY Clinton will, like, totally, wipe our Obama, Osama and Iran:
“IF he does not have the gumption to put me in my place, when superdelegates are deserting me, money is drying up, he’s outspending me 2-to-1 on TV ads, my husband’s going crackers and party leaders are sick of me, how can he be trusted to totally obliterate Iran and stop Osama?” Maureen Dowd in the New York Times
Figure of Speech: dialogismus (dial-o-GIS-mus), the quoting figure.
It’s overtime again. Obama just can’t “close the deal,” as Clinton triumphantly puts it. Maureen Dowd, the feline columnist for the Times, sums up Hillary’s argument in a hyperbolic dialogismus, a figure that puts words in another person’s mouth — often in a way that the “quotee” wouldn’t exactly put herself.
Says Figaro: Do we have to totally obliterate Iran? Can’t we just, like, obliterate it?
Posted: 3rd, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Boris Johnson’s First Few Days
Boris Johnson’s first few days as mayor of London...
Posted: 2nd, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
Can You Hear Me Mr Hoon, A Sad Man Tonight
NEW Labour is undone. Old Labour is undone.
Can you hear me Mr Hoon?
Labour in all its guises is undone. And Mr Geoff Hoon, the Labour Party’s Chief Whip, is talking with Mr Dimbleby of the BBC.
Can you hear me Mr Hoon?
Cue the sar-car-sm:
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Posted: 2nd, May 2008 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment
Autograph Hunting With Saddam Hussein
SERGEANT Mark Heinbaugh survived a meeting with Saddam Hussein, and he has the autograph to prove it.
Not only that but Saddam was good enough to sign the ace of spades playing card, the top trump on Iraq’s Most Wanted playing cards deck.
Says Heinbaugh: “A lot of detainees were happy to sign the cards. They said it made them look like celebrities.”
It’s good to know what drives the despot onwards is the thought of being recognised in his local bank and sharing a page on an autograph hunter’s book with Yasser Arafat, TV’s Mr Motivator and Anthe Turner.
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Posted: 2nd, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Further Education Is National Service
PERPETUATING poor standards in education:
The danger of making school attendance compulsory up to the age of 18 is not simply the infringement of the rights of the individual involved, it is also the associated disadvantages for those at school who do actually want to be there.
It’s national service in a baggier uniform and better weapons…
Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment
Police Graffiti Inside The Palace Of Westminster
TONY Blair is a…
Brother E-K used to be a security officer at the Palaces of Westminster… A little while back someone had etched the word “C*** !” on Tony Blair’s dispatch box. They didn’t find the culprit but little bro’ thinks it can only have been a security guard or police officer.
Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment
Trouble At The Polling Booths In London Mayoral Election
IN Islington, no-one can hear you scream:
The council staff operating the ballot were inexperienced (that is putting it politely). A voter ahead of me in the queue was querying what details they were writing where and was threatening to kick up a fuss. I am going to put my snob hat on and suggest that he was voting for one of the fringe parties… When I got to the front, the person taking down voter details didn’t know what he was supposed to be doing. The lady in front in the queue didn’t have a polling card, but the official didn’t know that she didn’t need one. He needed to be assisted by the supervisor. I handed my polling card over and he still wanted to know my name and address – was that supposed to prevent voting fraud?
It is Islington, right – by Clerkenwell Green?
Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment
The Ken Livingstone And George Galloway Show
IT’S Ken Livingtone and George Galloway…
Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comment
How To Milk A Motorist And Spot A Yellow Menace To Children
CAN you milk a motorist?
The Mail says you can. And in “MILKING THE MOTORIST”, the paper says that one in three motorists is caught each year by parking wardens or speed cameras.
David Ruffley, the Tory police spokesman, says: “This is another staggering statistic that tells us a lot about the surveillance society.”
The Mail says it’s all about raising money from “soft targets”, those people in metal cars. It is an “outrageous abuse of power”.
Better still, it’s a chance for the Sun to use the pun “GRAND THEFT AUTO”.
Having made mention of terrorists, cancer and global warming, the paper’s Tim Spanton says Government sees the motorist as Public Enemy No.1. (Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website)
The Government takes 67.8p in ever £1.10 litre of petrol.
And on top of the road taxes, congestion charge, parking fines (“£20 for every man, woman and child in Britain”) and speed cameras there’s the “SPY IN THE HAT”.
Her name’s Raj Kumaria, pictured in the Mail holding a huge “STOP” sign on a stick – a stick that also features the shadowy form of two children and a built in camera.
Thankfully, this menace can be easily identified on account of her huge yellow coat, yellow gloves and black baseball cap.
But she is not alone. These people work in gangs. The Mirror spots one called Val wearing dark glasses and taking film of drivers near a school. It is feared that some drivers have children in their cars.
It’s nothing short of sick.
And it’s high time this Government spared the motorist and went after the real criminals…
Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (18)
Not Spanking ‘Neurotic’ Gordon Brown At The Polls
AN up and at ‘em wake up call from the new improved Daily Sport: “DON’T VOTE! GET LAID!”
For those of you not up with Americanisms, those of you who like your Sport to focus on association football and not soccer, “laid” is explained as: “Don’t bother voting! Get our leg over instead!”
Today Britons go to the polls and select which retired dentists, overgrown schoolboys and patty canvassers they want to sit on the 4,023 council seats up for grabs. Or not.
The Sun’s George Pasco-Watson prefers voting to sex and thinks Gordon Brown “faces a beating”, a “hammering”. This is “Judgement Day”. (Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website)
The Mirror’s Bob Roberts hears Sunder Katwala, general secretary of the Fabian Society, a “key Labour thinktank”, accuse Brown of “neurotic under-confidence”.
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Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
The Eliot Splitz-Her Story: An Eliot Spitzer Porn Parody
ELIOT Spitzer is undown, literally.
But he is famous. He has his own porn film – at least one inspired by his antics. Eliot Splitz-Her:
Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment
Hillary Clinton Attacks Bush For Not Stopping Bill’s Project
HILLARY Clinton blasts Bush for not stopping a project her husband approved:
It’s a story Hillary Clinton loves to tell, about how the Chinese government bought a good American company in Indiana, laid off all its workers and moved its critical defense technology work to China.
And it’s a story with a dramatic, political ending. Republican President George W. Bush could have stopped it, but didn’t.
If she were president, she says, she’d fight to protect those jobs. It’s just the kind of talk that’s helping her win support from working-class Democrats worried about jobs and paychecks, not to mention their country’s security.
What Clinton never tells in the oft-repeated tale is the role prominent Democrats played in selling the company and its technology to the Chinese. She never mentions that big-time Democratic contributor George Soros helped put together the deal to sell the company, or that the sale was approved by the administration of her husband.
She’s her own woman…
Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment
Elle Decor China Bans Donna Karan For Dalai Lama Picture
COME see Donna Karan’s New York home. But not you in China. Not you.
You can look away lest you become corrupted by Karan’s inviting kitchen and carpet bouncier than a Page 3 model trampoline.
Lest you see the picture on Karan ledge of the Dalai Lama advertising this year’s black (orange-yellow) as she cradles Karan’s neck in his arms, in a manner that invokes memories of Big Daddy cradling Giant Haystacks.
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Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment
What Barack Obama Should Do About Wright
DICK Morris tells Barack Obama what do to about Jeremiah Wright:
If Obama continues to base his defence on history, he will just wade into deeper trouble. The “I wasn’t there; I didn’t hear him” defence just invites journalists to interview thousands of members of the congregation to find one who sat next to Obama during one of Wright’s racist and anti-American sermons. Just as John Kerry let his candidacy be hostage to the memories of every GI who served alongside him in Vietnam, so Obama will tie his to the recollections of his co-parishioners. Nor will Obama solve his Wright problem by subtly distancing himself from his pastor and condemning his views, in general, as “offensive” or “not representative of my campaign.” Rather, he needs to seize the opportunity Wright presents and rebut the pastor’s views, point by point — as he began to do Tuesday — and, in the process, define himself and his candidacy.
Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
The Jailing Of Jeffrey Archer
JEFFREY was in jail:
The Governor who debriefed us told us that he had been responsible for Jeffrey Archer while he was at the Bay. “Quite the most obnoxious prisoner I have ever dealt with” he said “Kept trying to tell me how to do my job”.
Spotter: Ed
Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment
Obama Notices That People Are Noticing Jeremiah Wright
BARACK Obama “OUTRAGED AND SADDENED” about Jeremiah Wright:
“His comments were not only divisive … but I believe that they end up giving comfort to those who prey on hate . . . . Whatever relationship I had with Reverend Wright has changed as a consequence of this.”
Barack Obama has noticed that people have noticed Wright and think he’s unhinged and that anyone who admires him is also unhinged.
And then there’s Wright, who suddenly has a powerful friend and realises that he’s being noticed. He starts to rant and rave. He likes being noticed.
And his powerful friend gets drowned out…
Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Iran Warns Of Dangers Of Barbie Dolls And Harry Potter
IRANIANS have been alerted to the “destructive” cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls.
Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi has written an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi. In it, hhe say Barbie is a “danger” that need to be stopped.
Had only the French been so resolute when the plastic effigies of Klaus Barbie, the notorious head of Lyon’s Gestapo unit, infiltrated that land.
Says Najafabadi: “The irregular importation of such toys, which unfortunately arrive through unofficial sources and smuggling, is destructive culturally and a social danger.”
The letter goes on: “The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter … as well as the irregular importation of unsanctioned computer games and movies are all warning bells to the officials in the cultural arena.”
He makes no mention of GI Joe, Gonks and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but this is surely only an oversight. Better the Iranian kids stick with their Ahmadinejad dolls, a hairier version of the every popular Troll.
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Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comments (3)
Your Chance To Punch Hillary Clinton
THE New York Post has created an online game where you can smack the crap out of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama.
Would you hit a woman? And if not, why not?
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Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (3)
When Chair Sniffers Confess: Troy Buswell Inhales
A WOMAN, who does not wish to be named, says Mr Troy Buswell, West Australian Opposition Leader, began to sniff the chair she had been sitting on at his Parliament House office in December 2005.
“I was shocked and outraged and I told him,” says the woman in the West Australian newspaper
“Outrage over chair-sniffing incident,” says The Age.
The Australian says that “Just 24 hours after 13 times labelling the chair sniffing an ‘unsubstantiated, anonymous rumour’ which he would not comment on, Mr Buswell finally admitted he sniffed the woman’s chair seat after she got up so he could get a laugh from other staff.”
Had Mr Buswell only whipped the chair away at the opportune moment or made a farting sound as soon as the women sat down things would have been left there.
But he elected to sniff, an action one imagines intended to imply the woman has made a smell, or else Mr Buswell is searching for her scent, marking him out as a pervert or a chair fetishist.
No CCTV footage of the sniffing has been unearthed, which is itself a shock. But the matter has nonetheless reached a head.
“Yes, I did inhale,” says the Sydney Morning Herald.
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Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comments (2)
