Politicians Category
Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
Iraq: Chemical Ali Dies For Third Time And Poll Finds, Not Eveyone Thinks Tony Blair’s A Liar And Jack Straw’s Letter In Full
GREAT news for Tony Blair that 23% of those polled believe he deliberately misled MPs over the Iraq war and should face war crimes charges. Jack Straw writes an old letter and Chemcial Ali is sentenced to death – again and again and again…
Yeah, only 23%. Things are getting better. A whopping 77% think Blair told the truth, albeit accidentally.
But there is still work for Team Blair do to (work being not doing anything and just letting the Iraq story slide like a poo down an outside privy door).
The Sunday Times survey found less than a third (32%) accepted that Mr Blair “genuinely believed in the threat” which he used to publicly justify sending UK troops, while 52% thought he had “deliberately misled” the country.
That initial news is being a little tempered. But far less than 100% of us think Tony Blair is a conniving liar. And that is incredible.
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Posted: 17th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama Appoints Shit Fun Chew To BBC Czar: Fact
THE BBC loves Barack Obama. So much does it love Barack Obama that it brings Radio 4 listeners Obama’s Babies – of which we are not all, yet: The blurb tells us:
In Swahili Obama means ‘blessed one’ and mothers across Africa were quick to bestow the name on their offspring. ‘Obama babies’ followed in America and across Europe as parents grasped at the hope that the President Elect’s magic could rub off on their children. But one year on and with the President’s dreams being tested by reality, how have some of the babies named after him fared?
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Posted: 15th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Chilcott Inquiry: Alistair Campbell’s ‘Lies’ On 45
ALASTAIR Campbell is speaking to the cosy Chilcott Inquiry about the invasion on Iraq and how he never sexed up the reasons for war (the BBC has taken to calling it “beefing up” – “porking up” might be better). Al duly creates a new chapter for his autobiography. Says Al: “I don’t worry about headlines. I never did.” And that 45 minuts was never a big deal.
Matt Buck looks at the other jokes:
THERE are times when old imagery is irresistible to a cartoonist. Yesterday was one of those occasions as Alastair Campbell, Tony Blair’s former Press Secretary, gave evidence to the Chilcot Inquiry on the intelligence published as justification for British participation the invasion of Iraq.
Francis Barraud’s original picture of Nipper the dog and the cylinder phonograph has inspired a lot of satire over the years. The version of the image most of us parody features a disk gramophone, because that was what was being marketed and sold at the time. Barraud’s image is properly iconic, in that it became part of many peoples everyday life through its association with the recording firm HMV. – MB
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
No Proof Iris Robinson’s Lover A Teenage Lesbian Nun: Song
PETER Robinson leaves Stormont tonight after temporarily standing down as Northern Ireland First Minister at Stormont. His DUP party are believed to be sad and at the same time more relieved than a middle aged lesbian at a Paul Hardcastle convention that Irish Robinson chose to shag a 19-year-old man and not a woman of any age, especially a Papist nun.
It was Iris Robinson who taught us:
“There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children”.
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Iris Robinson Inspired By Simon and Garfunkel
IN Northern Ireland good news is that the stories of dour men and bombs and proclamations and more dour men in beige car coats has been broken by the tale of Iris Robinson’s affair with a teenager.
This is Mrs Robinson who opined:
“There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children”.
Yeah, Mrs Robinson and the 19-year-old teenager. It’s life mirring Simon and Garfunkel. As he notes:
The tune “Mrs Robinson” was released in 1968, when Robinson herself was … 19.
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
Harriet Harman’s Sympathetic Background Story
LABOUR Party deputy leader Harriet Harman has admitted driving without due care and attention. The minister was fined £350 and ordered to pay £75 costs and a victim surcharge of £15 after her lawyer entered the guilty plea at City of Westminster Magistrates’ Court.
The court heard that a second charge of driving while using a mobile phone had been withdrawn.
Had it not have been, things would have been interesting, after all it was Labour that introduced the law to ban driving with a mobile phone in 2003, when Miss Harman was, er, Solicitor General.
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Americans Tortured Al Qaeda Suspects With Hairy Caterpillars
FROM the musing of North Korea’s funniest funster Mr Kim Jong Il, news that America has been torturing Al Qaeda suspects in Lithuania with caterpillars:
Kim Jong Il’s Secret Picture Gallery
“The ABC of the United States reported that the CIA set up and operated two secret prisons in Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, and in its vicinity in 2004 and 2005 for the purpose of confining and interrogating Al-Qaeda related and other terrorists…
…All forms of torture such as no-sleep torture, sex torture and hairy caterpillar torture are being practiced against prisoners in the U.S. overseas secret prisons, stunning the world people”.
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (5)
Conservatives Delight At Failed Hewitt And Hoon Plot To Topple Brown
ACCORDING to a YouGov poll in the Sun, 19% more of us would vote Labour is Gordon Brown were “toppled”; although 14% said they would be “more likely to back the party if he stayed”.
This means that in one act of courage, Labour could increase its vote by 5%. The survey says the Tories are enjoying a 9% lead over Labour. The maths seems clear. Which leads to the Daily Mirror’s front-page screamer:
“DUMB & DUMBER – Rebel’s feeble plot to oust PM falls flat.”
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Geoff Hoon And Patricia Hewitt Gun For Brown: Letter
Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt have issued a letter attacking Gordon Brown. They want him out.
Labour is fighting among itself for any hope that they can oust Brown and retain power. Brown is a stubborn cove and won’t go anywhere.
He will demand loyalty and the weak and desperate will give it to him. And against him stands – oh, dear – a would-be doctor’s receptionist and a man with all the profile of a streamrolled spoon.
They are doomed.
Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
Spain’s EU Presidency Adopts Mr Bean
IT’S not only Gordon Brown who’s Mr Bean but so too Spain’s EU President. As Barcepundit says, the Spanish EU presidency website was ‘hacked’. Why? Well:
According to the official contract, the cost of the website development and maintenance was €12 million (over $17m).
In website terms that’s a bargain…
Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Silvio Berlusconi Bites Into A Busty Blonde: Kitty Ussher Waits
ITALIAN Prime Silvio Berlusconi is attending Michaela Biancofiore’s 40th birthday at his villa in Arcore. That’s Ms Biancofiore MP on the cake, looking blonde, possessed of icy breasts and soft buttery neck that Silvio can much and suck on.
Silvio Berlusconi’s Annus Horribilis In Pictures
Recovered from being stuck in the face by a stature of a naked woman riding a wooden cucumber.
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Posted: 4th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama Is ‘Murdered’ In Jimmy Carter’s Home Town
THE Barack Obama Death Cult moves to Plains, Georgia, where a likeness of Obama is hanging by a noose.
Plains is the home town of former President Jimmy Carter. As the legend on the sign before the dead Obama says:
“Plains, Georgia. Home of Jimmy Carter, our 39th President”.
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Posted: 4th, January 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
BNP Legal Officer Says Arson Attack ‘Not A Crime’
LEE Barnes is the BNP’s legal officer. He hears that “Sangatte II”, a French centre for immigrants has been hit by arsonists. This is an illegal act. He writes on his blog ‘The French Rise Up‘:
When governments do not listen to the people, then the people will rise up against the government.
This is not a crime, this is an act of National Liberation.
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Posted: 29th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (11)
Mayor Arrested For Lewd Conduct With Naked Woman Before Waffle House Diners
THAT’S Joel H. Napier, 56, mayor of Taylor, Alabama outside the Waffle House. That’s him engaged, as is alleged, in an act of public lewdness in the front seat of a car with “almost completely nude” Cynthie Michelle Casper, 34. Says Interim Police Chief Larry Draughon:
“The officer witnessed what could be considered serious foreplay. He was fondling her. They were in the front seat.” Both were “in full view of restaurant patrons.”
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Posted: 28th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Edward Kennedy: Mary Jo Kopechne Died So That America Could Have Another Failed Presidental Candidate
EDWARD Kennedy is dead and in remembering the work of a career drinker, philanderer and rich liberal the starstruck nodding heads of the mainstream media try not to mention Mary Jo Kopechne.
On July 19 1969 Kennedy was driving his Oldsmobile on the island of Chappaquiddick, east of Martha’s Vineyard. The car drove off a bridge and into a creek.
Mary Jo Kopechne, 29, a former secretary to Senator Kennedy’s late brother Robert was also in the car. Kennedy escaped. He fled. He left Mary Jo Kopechne in the car. Ten hours later he reported the accident. And Mary Jo was dead.
Let us not judge the man on one action. Oh no. Kennedy would later stand for the US presidency, a man bigger than a dead girl in a car. As for that incident, he claimed to have been in a state of shock. He was judged by his peers, pleading guilty to leaving the scene of a crime and given a two-month suspended jail sentence.
Now the nodding heads in the mainstream media looks back on Kennedy’s life, replacing the ink with an airbrush:
Gaby Wood in the Observer:
It’s often said that Kennedy spoke for the distressed and the dispossessed because he himself had suffered – the deaths of siblings, eventually the sickness of his own children – and because his powers of empathy were extreme.
Kennedy is quickly established as the victim.
In July 1969, the single most damaging incident of his life took place when he left a party on an island called Chappaquiddick with Mary Jo Kopechne, a 28-year-old former aide to Bobby, and drove off a bridge into the water. Afraid of the publicity a police report would cause, he fled the scene and left Kopechne to die, not reporting the accident until 10 hours later.
Hold your judgment. And lest you make your own judgment, Gaby Wood provides you with one, that you should accept as fact and never think on the matter again:
His friend the late Jack Newfield wrote that his career became “an atonement for one night of indefensible behaviour”; Kennedy, Newfield said, “converted persistence into redemption”.
Ted Sorensen in Time magazine:
“Both a plane crash in Massachusetts in 1964 and the ugly automobile accident on Chappaquiddick Island in 1969 almost cost him his life.”
Once more, Kennedy is the victim.
As Victor David Hanson notes:
Mary Jo Kopechne (never mentioned by name in the essay) owing to (according to a later inquest) the negligence of the driver, Ted Kennedy.
Melissa Lafsky in the Huffington Post
Mary Jo “would have thought about arguably being a catalyst for the most successful Senate career in history . . . Who knows — maybe she’d feel it was worth it.”
Joan Vennochi in the Boston Globe
IN DEATH, Ted Kennedy will be idealized, his accomplishments lionized, his weaknesses glossed over.
You betcha:
Like all figures in history – and like those in the Bible, for that matter – Kennedy came with flaws. Moses had a temper. Peter betrayed Jesus. Kennedy had Chappaquiddick, a moment of tremendous moral collapse.
Kennedy the prophet. Kennedy the disciple. And not one mention of Mary Jo Kopechne by name.
Jackson Sun editorial:
There’s probably dead woman in history who’s been more exploited by the right-wing sleaze machine than Miss Kopechne [sic].
Those right-wring sleazers having a pop at a privileged man who left a woman to die alone. Scum, that’s what they are. Scum. Un-for-give-able.
Joyce Carol Oates in the Guardian:
A political career suggests “that there are not only “second acts” in American lives, but that the Renaissance concept of the “fortunate fall” may be relevant here: one “falls” as Adam and Eve “fell”; one sins and repents and is forgiven, provided that one remakes one’s life…
Mary Jo Kopechne was put on Earth to make Edward Kennedy, to give America a truly Kennedy-tastic senator.
Iowahawk remembers…
Edward Kennedy’s Life And Funeral In Pictures
Posted: 28th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (72)
Barack Obama First Family Are Redistributed In Hawaii
BARACK Obama is in Hawaii. And having survived a woman getting within three miles of the Obama compound Kailuana Place, the President is demanding privacy for his children and his wife. The Associated Pres hears the call. And the AP announces, respectfully:
“White House seeks privacy for vacationing first daughters”
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Posted: 27th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
The Barack Obama Death Cult Introduces Kristy Lee Roshia
THE BARACK Obama Death Cult introduces the Michelle Obama Death Threat, brought to you by Kristy Lee Roshia. Anorak has keeping tabs on the media obsession with Obama’s death.
Tom Bonnett tells Sky News:
A woman accused of threatening to “blow away” Michelle Obama on the family’s Christmas trip to Hawaii has been arrested by the US Secret Service.
Thank goodness they spotted the threat. How’s that for sterling detective work?
Kristy Lee Roshia called the Boston office of the Secret Service and told them “I will kill Michelle Obama“.
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Posted: 23rd, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama: The Big Cheese
THE key difference between the US and the rest of the world is that Barack Obama can stick his face in the middle of a bunch of toothy children and escape universal ridicule. Having passed out cookies and read ‘The Polar Express’ to elementary aged children at a Boys and Girls Club in Washington DC, Obama, leader of the so-called free world, posed for the this picture.
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Posted: 22nd, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Esther Rantzen Sinks Her Teeth Into Brussels
ESTHER Rantzen wants to be an MP. She’s expected to go for Luton South, a seat held by Margaret Moran. Miss Moran is the MP who, according to the Telegraph, claimed £7,961 on a kitchen, carpet and bed for her Westminster flat, “changed her address to her constituency home in Luton and spent £8,585 on her garden, bathroom, bedding and decorating. Finally she switched again to name her second home as her and her husband’s house in Southampton, where she claimed £22,500 on dry rot.”
Can Rantzen be any worse?
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Posted: 20th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Identity Minister Meg Hillier Loses Her ID Card, Blames Baby
APOLOGIES for missing the story of Identity Minister Meg Hillier rocking up at an ID card showcase and – ho-ho – forgetting her ID card. The Liverpool Post delivers a vision:
The former journalist and mother patted herself down and checked her handbag for the missing card before putting the slip-up down to the demands of looking after her baby.
Is the baby really her baby or her cleaner’s? Can she prove it?
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Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
David Cameron Does Cockermouth, In Pictures
TAKE a look at Conservative party leader David Cameron sharing a joke with Eileen and Jim Lawson of Lawsons Haulage Ltd, after their home and business were hit by the recent floods in Cockermouth, Cumbria. While Gordon Brown is in Copenhagen working out how to turn Tony Blair’s weather machine off, Cameron pays a visit to Dumfries and Galloway Emergency Response Centre to discuss the effects on the area of the recent severe weather. One the one had you’ve got slapstick Gordon Brown playing it for laughs; on the other, there’s shiny David Cameron, the straight man. They could work well together. As ever, everything Cameron does demands a caption…
Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Gordon Brown Tries To Shut Al Gore A Cupboard
GORDON Brown isn’t funny? Mot a bit of it. Gordon Brown is Mr Slapstick. Oh, yes he is. In this skit he leads Al Gore into a dead end. When they go in, their jacket buttons are done up. When they emerge the buttons are undone. Good lunches all round! Pass the Comfi Slax. If you loved that, you’ll love this:
Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
In Pictures: Silvio Berlusconi Shows His Broken Nose And Scabs
HAVING inspected a much reduced in size Milan Cathedral at close quarters – a small version to make Silvio feel bigger, so they say – Silvio Berlusconi has let his hospital in Milan. Mr Berlusconi sported a small bandage on his nose, beneath which, it is rumoured, hair from his head has been grafted on. A large compress on his left cheek sports a scab that says “Made In China”. Mr Berlusconi, 73, waved as he left…
Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
Parliament Goes On Holiday As The Earth Burns
THOUGHT for the day. So important are the talks on climate change in Copenhagen – 15 days to save the world, says Gordon Brown – that Parliament will not sit next week when the results are known. Gordon might end up talking to himself. How’s that for importance? Happy holidays! Mr Mugabe will now save the planet…
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Posted: 16th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Silvio Berlusconi Knew He’d be Attacked But Dreamt Of Something Sexier
SILVIO Berlusconi knew he would be struck in the face with a souvenir statuette, breaking his nose and teeth. The only thing his premonition didn’t tell him was what kind of statuette it was. He was looking for a young naked woman straddling a huge wooden cucumber with a picture his face on the front. He scanned the crowd and…Whammo! Milan cathedral.
Berlusconi is said to have told Paolo Bonaiuti, his spokesman, that “something might happen” because of the “climate of hate”.
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Posted: 14th, December 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
