Politicians Category
Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
Ted Kennedy Takes Michael Jackson Secrets To Grave
TED Kennedy is dead. But because no celebrity dies of natual causes in the US, we can says that he was murdered, possibly. Like Michael Jackson?
What did Ted Kennedy know about Michael Jackson? Well, he takes those secrets to his grave…
Now read on…
Posted: 26th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (7)
Ian Wright MP: Indepedent Schools Offer Less Choice Than State Schools
EDUCATION Minister Ian Wright brings shocking news to independent school pupils and their parents and guardians. Put down your wargaming soldiers, your hockey stick, your rugby boots, your flute, your paint brush, your school magazine, your running spikes, your passport and hear the words of Ian Wright:
“Private schools have a much narrower range; the choice is much narrower. There is a much broader suite of subjects and qualifications available in maintained schools and colleges. In that respect, the maintained sector are doing just as well, if not better.”
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Posted: 23rd, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
David Cameron Champions The NHS On Behalf Of All Notting Hill Society
TORY Party leader David Cameron cleans his hands with alcohol gel as he does the rounds at the South Ribble District General Hospital in Chorley, Lancashire.
Mr Cameron says the Conservatives are now “the party of the NHS”.
When asked to expand, Mr Cameron said:
“The Notting Hill Society is a public body that exists for the greater good. Whether it be an organic olive oil dip on a Sunday afternoon, a humous dip for an impromptu soiree, or a bag of recreational drugs for your wellbeing, the NHS will do its utmost to produce the results that you, the people, should expect.”
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Posted: 20th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
David Cameron Tells Taliban Decapitation Is Lawful And Right
DAVID Cameron show’s he learnt something from the War on Terror by anouncing a “decapitation strategy” for Labour ministers.
This sounds like a desperate attempt by the Tories to show that the political elite are soemthing more than a cosy bunch of self-serving troughers. Forget the policies, Cameron is calling for a violent overthrow. It’s language we can relate to.
The Telegraph reports:
Five Cabinet Ministers have been targeted in a “decapitation” strategy by David Cameron to try to wipe out some of Labour’s biggest names at the next general election.
Violence always spices up politics. And hats and heads off to Cameron for injecting some vim into the political scene.
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Posted: 19th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Obama Not Assassinated In Arizona With AR-15 Assault Rifle
THE Barack Obama Death Cult – Anorak’s look at the media’s obsession with Obama’s assassination – Man with Ar15 assault weapon does not kill Obama at Arizona town hall meeting…
A reader writes from the US:
Holy hell, Paul, live on the CNN news now (but not on internet yet) filming live a man in Arizona standing at a town meeting with Obama there with an AR15 (assault weapon) slung over his shoulder. Other people are there also with guns. Law in AZ you can carry a weapon on you and they are invoking their rights. Secret Service more nervous than whores in Church!
We have the video:
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Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (27)
Gordon Brown Annoints New Summer Prime Minister
WITH Gordon Brown away, everyone who hasn’t called him names is allowed a turn at sitting at his desk and playing at being Prime Minister.
Peter Mandelson had a turn at the helm.
And today Alistair Darling finds his sterling work on the economy rewarded with temporary promotion.
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Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Sarah Palin Loses Presidency Wins Facebook
MAUREEN Dowd salutes the awesome power of Sarah Palin in the New York Times – imagine if Palin had the White Hosue and not just Facebook:
[Sarah Palin] took a forum, Facebook, more commonly used by kids hooking up and cyberstalking, and with one catchy phrase, several footnotes and a zesty disregard for facts, managed to hijack the health care debate from Mr. Obama.
Palin win internets!
Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)
Barack Obama Will Be Assassinated In Secret
THE Barack Obama Death Cult – Anorak’s look at the media’s obsession with Obama’s assassination – The Barack Obama Death Cult is on whisper mode following a missive from The Corner’s Kathryn Jan Lopez:
The death of Barack Obama will not be televised…
Spotter: The Awl
Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Drivers Encouraged To Run Down Schoolchildren
OUTSIDE Avenue Primary School in Leicester, council bosses have stationed new bollards made to look like children.
This, they argue, is an effort not to seduce paedophiles to the area and then better slaughter them – well, not only that – but to reduce speeding drivers.
Creepy pretend children will make speeding drivers who don’t know what a real child looks like – or don’t care enough to drive carefully by a school – slow down? Or will the eerie boys and girls just desensitize careless drivers to the presence of real children? It’s a terrific scheme, no?
There are bollards in a limited full range of pallets. There is a dark-skinned boy and fair-haired girl and fair-haired boy.
Anorak wonders which human design will attract the most speeding motorists, and which the least? And if a points total should be daubed on the chest of each effigy for a game of bollard snooker, or skittles?
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Posted: 12th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
Barack Obama Not Killed By Armed Man In New Hampshire
THE Barack Obama Death Cult – Anorak’s look at the media’s obsession with Obama’s assassination – Gawker spots a man with a pistol strapped to his leg waiting for Barack Obama to arrive at a townhall meeting in New Hampshire.
The man is holding a sign that bears the legend: “It Is Time to Water the Tree of Liberty.”You know, the Jefferson quote on the French Revoltiosn – he was all for it.
John Cook confirms that it’s a reference to a Thomas Jefferson aphorism:
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” It was a favorite slogan of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh, who was wearing a T-shirt when he was arrested with a picture of Lincoln on the front and a tree dripping with blood on the back.
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Posted: 11th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
Hazel Blears Unveils Labour Party’s New Election Slogan
THE ever popular Hazel Blears is the victim of street crime as vandals smash the windscreen of her Citreon Xsara Picasso and slashs all four tyres while she knocks on doors in Cemetery Road, Weaste, Greater Manchester.
Blears has not yet put in a claim for the KitKat biscuit, hot cup of tea (served in a hastily bought Ming Dynasty mug) nor the 5,649 sugars she was encouraged to buy to calm her nerves.
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Posted: 10th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Soldier Killed In Aghanistan As Life-Saving Ridgebacks Gather Dust In Dubai
IN “Trucking Outrage”, the Sun leads with news that a member of the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers has been killed in Afghanistan.
He was in a CVRT – a 30-year-old tracked mini tank that is vulnerable to Taliban roadside bombs. Meanwhile, a fleet of new mine-proof Ridgback trucks had been sitting on an airfield in the Middle East since July 16.
Richard North looks at how the MoD is letting down British Troops in Afghanistan and Iraq.
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Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Pictures Of Iranian Hunger Strike Outside US Embassy
OUTSIDE the US Embassy in London, Khalil Abadi, an Iranian living in the UK, is on his eighth day of hunger strike.
He is protesting for exiled dissident Iranians who are living in a camp in the Ashraf refugee camp in Iraq.
The Iraqi government wants control of the People’s Mojahedeen Organization of Iran (PMOI) and return members of the Iranian opposition organisation to Iran or a third country.
Where will take them?
Pictures:
Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Bill Clinton Hunts For Kim Jong-il
WHERE is Kim Jong-Il? Continuing Anorak’s occasional game, Bill Clinton journeys to North Korean to hunt for Mr Kim.
Bill Clinton has met North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il in an effort to free US journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, each sentenced to 12 years of hard labour for illegal entry and fomenting clumnies to Mr Kim’s No.1 Gnome Emporium.
Bill hopes to secure the release of the two women and, my right, their undying love and gratitude.
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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Over A Million Death Threats Made Against Barack Obama
THE Barack Obama Death Cult issues 30 death threats a day. Hoodies are selling well. Anorak has documented the Death Cult threats in the media, and they can be read here.
The mainstream media loves the Barack Obama Death Cult. And now Ronald Kessler says in his book In the President’s Secret Service that since Obama became president threats against the office have increased by 400 per cent.
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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (7)
Barack Obama’s Birthday Cake, Pictures
HAVING mused on Barack Obama’s beer glasses – and his oh-so sensitive choice of Guinness for the officer and beer blanc for the professor – we turn to Obama’s 48th brithday cake.
Should a white woman pop from the cake, or a black woman. Or what about a white woman dusted in cocoa powder and a black woman encased in white icing, one wearing the hijab, the other a wimple?
Being Barack Obama in post-racial America is hard. The people need so much controlling.
Pictures of the big white chocolate cake cake, with candles fashioned into a Menora hereunder:
Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Gordon Brown Wins Scarecrow Competition
TO the annual Scarecrow Competition in Muston, near Filey,where first prize goes to Prime Minister Gordon Brown for his impersonation of a man of straw…
Posted: 2nd, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Kim Jong-il Visits Cardiff
KIM Jong-il is everywhere. Having seen him that famous photo stood dressed in his Anorak Comfi-Slax before his soldiers, we got to thinking that Kim Il Jong can fit into every crowd scene with ease.
So we begin our new occassional series we call “Where’s Kim?”
Can you see him in this scene?
The Prince of Wales, Colonel in Chief, is taking part in an official Regimental photo when he visits 1st The Queen’s Dragoon Guards to celebrate their 50th anniversary and to take the salute as they exercise their Freedom of the City of Cardiff at Cardiff Castle.
Kim came too…
Kim Jong Il’s Secret Picture Gallery
Posted: 1st, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
How Barack Obama Became Tony Blair
ANORAK readers may have noticed that Barack Obama – the most over-promoted man since Prince Edward became Seconder of the First Windsor Cubs – is mutating into Tony Blair.
The big news in the US is not the recession or the wars but Obama, who reacts to it all by allowing the media to set his agenda, sitting down with police Sgt Crowley (white) whose wrongful arrest of Professor Henry Gates (black) triggered a media shit storm and caused Obama to call the police “stoopid” (Biden: white).
And so the nodding heads begin the big debate: peanuts or pistachios: pork rinds or pretzels; half pints or full pints; larger or beer; Big Ears or Noddy; Toby Jug or Steiner…
In the mess rooms, police officers wonder why Crowley was so restrained and didn’t shoot Gates in the face; black groups also wonder why Gates was not shot in the face. What’s so special about him? There is much debate.
And all the while Obama is in the centre, the kernel-in-chief, the celebrity leader being all things to all mankind and knowing that right is on his side. Like Tony:
• Tony popped out for a photo opportunity with a mug of tea in his had; Obama sips a bear
• Tony showed off his love for his wife – going as far as impregnating Cherie in office; Obama has dirty weekends away in New York and garden strolls
• Tony wears his God on his sleave; at the annual National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, Obama lavished praise on Blair, who was the principal speaker
• Tony Blair’s second in command was dumbling bolt John Prescott; the US is but a heartbeat away from hailing President Biden
• Tony said “Things Can Only Get Better”; Obama pushed through a gigantic stimulus package because things can only get better
• Tony wants to be celebrity and ruled Britannia PLC; Obama woos celebs and looks to play himself in the film of the man
• Tony Blair was the open-necked embodiment of the new century; During the past few months, I’ve seen a lot of celebrities wearing suits and dress shirts minus neckties, including the president. The Italianate term for this style is crapioso…
• Both men converted to more popular relgions
During his tenure, Blair the peacenik waged five wars.
Over to you, Obama…
Posted: 31st, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Forgers Produce First Fake ID Card
THE ID cards – or are Organised Identity Theft, as Old Mr Anorak terms them – are showcased by Home Secretary Alan Johnson at St Pancras Station in London, where he revealed the design of the National Identity Card which is to be issued to members of the public for the first time later this year.
The principal of the cards is pretty simple: the computer cannot be wrong. The computer knows.
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Posted: 30th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
David Cameron Says Nine Tory MPs Are Twats
DAVID Cameron called Twitter users Twats on Absolute Radio and it was reported here by Sky News. So nine of his party’s MPs are twats. Fact.
That’s going to win him a load of votes, then.
Is twat offensive?
Probably…
Cameron then went on to tell Christian O’Connell:
“The public are pissed off.. Oh, I can’t say that, can I?”
Cameron is down with the kidzzzzzz. and down on nine of his MPs, who are on Twitter.
Those Tory Twats are:
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Posted: 29th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
Gordon Brown’s Labour Party Rifle Pockets Of Injured Soldiers
BERETS off to Gordon Brown and his minions who have found a new way to be still more disliked: cutting compensation pay out to British troops.
Gordon is going for the big one. He hopes that with enough joined-up thinking and courage he can achieve a zero per cent approval rating (better than the Tories’ zero per cent disapproval rating) and secure not a single Labour seat at the next election.
But will shaking down wounded soldiers be enough?
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Posted: 29th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Downing Street Cat Sybil Zero Per Cent Alive
CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling’s cat Sybil, who has died after a short illness. Mr Darling’s spokeswoman confirmed that the black and white cat died yesterday at the home of a family friend in London.
Sybil, named after Basil’s wife in Fawlty Towers, was moved into the Chancellor’s flat above 11 Downing Street from the Darling family home in Edinburgh in 2007.
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Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
BBC Rejects Bias In Mandelson Global Warming Pledge
BUSINESS Secretary Lord Mandelson speaks to the media after delivering a speech on the future of higher education at Birbeck College, in central London…
Posted: 27th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Naked Cowboy Launches New York Mayor Bid
THE Naked Cowboy launches his New York City Mayoral Campaign in the lobby oft the NBC Studios.
How naked is he? Take a look:
Posted: 23rd, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
