Malala Yousafzai Sells A Bloody Mattress In India And Gets Shot Over And Over Again

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

Guardian Typo Of The Day: Nigel Farage And His Closet Gay Friends

GUARDIAN typo of the day: UKIP says over 70s are uncomfortable with homosexuals. A reader writes to the Guardian:

Spotter: @PlashingVole

Anorak

Posted: 15th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

Tabloids Summer Heatwave Sweepstake: Which Paper Can Guess The Right Temperature First?

SIGNS are that the Daily Express is locked in a weather war with its tartier stablemate the Daily Star.

The Express kicks things off with 75 degrees.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

Elvis Presly Fans Dance On A Traffic Island Outside The Palais De Danse Hall in Nottingham

AUGUST 22, 1977:

Mourning fans of the late Elvis Presley, dance on a traffic island outside the Palais de Danse hall in Nottingham where the convention of the dead star’s official British fan club was held.

 

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Music | Comment

The 5 Greatest Godzilla Movies Ever Made

SINCE  his first silver screen appearance in 1954, Toho’s giant monster Godzilla has starred in more than two dozen epic movies.

The big green lizard has been featured as a terrifying villain, as a defender of the Earth, and, occasionally, even traveled to American shores to wreak havoc.  In this span, Godzilla has stood alone, acted as a tag team player (with friends like Anguirus and Rodan…), battled ancient threats to humanity, and even fended off alien invaders on more than one occasion (Monster Zero [1965], Final Wars [2004]).

John Kenneth Muir

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Donald Sterling And The Right To Private Speech

Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling, right, and V. Stiviano, left, watch the Clippers play the Los Angeles Lakers during an NBA preseason basketball game in Los Angeles on Monday, Dec. 19, 2010. 

WHEN Donald Sterling’s private phone calls became public knowledge, the media began the feeding frenzy.

Bill Maher took a view:

“Last week when President Obama was asked about the Sterling episode, he said, ‘When ignorant folks want to advertise their ignorance, just let them talk.’ But Sterling didn’t advertise. He was bugged. And while he may not be worth defending, the 4th Amendment is.”

Anorak

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Reviews, Sports | Comment

Of Course Beer Goggles Exist: How Else Do you think Us Mingers Get Laid?

IT’S quite remarkable how scientists manage to come up with proofs of what everyone over the age of 12 already knows. Time and time again we get press releases telling us that this or that piece of obvious, culturally embedded, good sense is indeed actually true. That they’re proving these things with our tax money does rather grate but perhaps it’s better that these people be kept in the labs rather than being out in the community or anything.

The latest is proof that beer goggles exist:

Finding people more attractive after a few drinks has long been known as the ‘beer goggle’ effect – but experts are divided about whether this phenomenon actually exists.

To put it to the test, researchers from Bristol conducted lab experiments to gauge whether drink changed people’s perceptions of what is attractive.

Volunteers were asked to look at photos of men, women and landscapes before and after drinking – and in every category alcohol affected their perceptions.

Tim Worstall

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Money, Reviews | Comment

Vintage Adverts : Feminine Hygiene-A-Go Go!

FEMININE hygiene adverts prior to the late 1960s basically depicted menstruation as a shameful curse, a sickening burden upon womankind.  By the time the Baby Boomers started needing these products en masse, a revolution in feminine hygiene was underway.  There was still a sense of shame in these adverts, but now it was all about offering new features (i.e. “It’s flushable!).  While this may not be the most appealing topic you’ve ever read about, the advertising is still rather interesting and even a little humorous.  Take a look at a few examples.

“Gotta Get This Tampon Out Of Sight!” – Pursettes

This tale of woe recounts the abominable shame experienced by a cheerleader when her purse hits the ground spilling out (gasp!) tampons.  What should she do?  Transferring to another school is such a hassle.  Luckily, her friend has Pursettes which keep her shameful secret hidden under wraps.  “Just call them the tote tampons.”

“That’s why so many women just like you are switching to it.” – Playtex Self-Adjusting Tampons

I love how this is supposed to be an empowering advertisement, yet it totally undermines itself by its list of stereotypically feminine careers.    It’s attempting to illustrate that the Modern Woman has modern needs, and Playtex is just the product to keep up with the changing times.  Yet, the various groups of women they list are downright hilarious:  “Secretaries, Nurses, Stewardess, The Lady Next Door (WTF?), College Girls, Models, Housewives”.  They left out waitresses and strippers.

“Dear Mother Nature: Drop Dead!” – Kotex

The last line reads: “At least you have to worry about your voice changing.”  This is a consolation of the sorriest sort.  Nearly a lifetime of menstruation versus a month or two of crackly vocal cords…. Hmmmm – which is worse?   On a side note: the lens diameter-to-face ratio of those glasses is the largest I have ever seen.  Simply breathtaking.

“It stayed in place, even when I was jumping streams.” – Stayfree Maxi Pads

That’s a bold woman – her first day with Stayfree Maxi Pads and she’s sticking her ass directly in his face? Just a thought: maybe he goes up the hill first.  The ad ends with “Too bad he forgot to pack the lunch”.  Maybe he didn’t forget – he just lost his appetite.

“If you’re old enough to pick your clothes, you’re old enough to pick your sanitary napkin.” – Modess

Advertisers aren’t stupid.  They knew the Baby Boomers represented the largest population bubble in the history of the United States.  Subsequently, ad agencies were scrambling to produce advertising geared toward this gargantuan money pot. The Modess advert above heavily features the new hippie chic whilst highlighting how grossly antiquated the older generation is.  Do you want to buy your sanitary napkins based on the opinion of your crusty archaic mother who seems so hopelessly out of place amongst counter-culture swag?  I didn’t think so.

“Whee! They’re Flushable, Too!” – New Freedom Kotex

Yet another advert marketed directly to Boomer youth.  Truth be told, there actually was a lot to be excited about.  If you’re familiar with the previous generations’ feminine hygiene equipment, you’ll know there was cause for celebration.  That stuff was a bulky mess; it had barely improved from the Paleolithic days of using rolled grass and roots.  It consisted of various rigging using straps and belts in conjunction with giant swaths of absorbent linens.  You can see why a flushable inconspicuous napkin would be a godsend.

“It’s perfect for beginners like us!”Petal Soft Tampax

Petal Soft Tampax

This ad comes from a 1986 issue of 16 Magazine, about a year after Tampax broke the ultimate taboo on American television: It used the word “period”.  Specifically the TV ad said, “It will change the way you feel about your period.”

When questioned about their startling expletive, the Tampax ad agency responded beautifully:

It’s a natural evolution.  Over the past five years everyone has gotten more straightforward.  It just doesn’t make sense any longer to show a woman in a long white dress, drifting through a field of wildflowers, saying something like, ‘It makes me feel fresh.’

Well said.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

May the Force Be With Them: The 5 Best Star Wars Knock-Offs of the Seventies and Eighties

WHEN George Lucas’s space fantasy Star Wars premiered in the summer of 1977 – and promptly became the highest grossing film in history – it was only a matter of time before intrepid filmmakers sought to imitate and thus re-capture the movie’s magic in a slew of lookalike films.

Importantly, the Star Wars film craze not only brought a barrage of new science fiction-themed films to the international box office, it also changed the very way that movie-makers approached the difficult-to-visualize genre.

Before Star Wars, the 1970s SF cinema obsessed, largely, on matters of environmental disaster and future dystopias  like Soylent Green (1973) and Logan’s Run (1976).

After Star Wars, however, science fiction films usually featured more action, colorful laser blasts, cute robotic sidekicks, and a concentration on fantasy aspects.

John Kenneth Muir

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2)

Charlie Chaplin’s Visit to A Starstruck London in 1921

Charlie Chaplin poses with fifty boys and girls from Hoxton School, September 1921. PA/PA Archive/Press Association Images

CHARLIE Chaplin was woken on the morning 17 September 1921 while in his bed at the Ritz Hotel in London. “Visitors from Hoxton” he was told. From outside the window he could hear children singing the same song over and over again:

When the moon shines bright on Charlie Chaplin
His boots are cracking, for want of blacking
And his little baggy trousers need mending
Before we send him to the Dardanelles

 

Rob Baker

Posted: 13th, May 2014 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment

Attack Of The A-Frame: The Design Virus That Spanned Decades

THERE’S only a finite number of ways you can arrange a canvas.  Naturally, there’s going to be some patterns that emerge, and certain motifs will be copied and repeated to oblivion within the pop art landscape.  An artful conception will suddenly be mimicked on comic book covers to movie posters to paperbacks to album covers, and it will continue for decades.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 13th, May 2014 | In: Books, Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Priest Exorcising Lesbians: ‘Once you hear a Satanic growl … it’s like smelling a Margherita pizza for the first time’

GREAT Quote of 2014 from an exorcist priest :

“Once you hear a Satanic growl … it’s like smelling a Margherita pizza for the first time”

 

It’s even weirder in the context of the Vatican-sanctioned convention on exorcism:

The Rev. Cesar Truqui, an exorcist based in Switzerland, recounted one experience he had aboard a Swissair flight. “Two lesbians,” he said, had sat behind him on the plane. Soon afterward, he said, he felt Satan’s presence. As he silently sought to repel the evil spirit through prayer, one of the women, he said, began growling demonically and threw chocolates at his head.

Asked how he knew the woman was possessed, he said that “once you hear a Satanic growl, you never forget it. It’s like smelling Margherita pizza for the first time. It’s something you never forget.”

More.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, May 2014 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Gorilla Chucks ‘Vast Amount Of Diarrhoea’ And Goes Beserk At London Zoo Silent Cinema Night

TO London Zoo’s Gorilla Kingdom on May 6, where actors and visitors for the zoo’s silent cinema night have attracted the attention of Kumbuka (pictured above planning another night of debauchery).

ZSL London Zoo’s ‘Silent Cinema’ experience runs for five nights only, kicking off with ‘90s classic Jumanji on Tuesday 6 May and rounding up with childhood-favourite, The Jungle Book, on Saturday 10 May.

Giving a whole new meaning to the term ‘silent picture’, all guests will be wearing headphones to watch the film, making sure the animals still get their beauty sleep.

Mixing the silverbacks with the silver screen, movie-goers will be completely immersed in the sights, sounds and scents of the animal kingdom, exploring one of the Zoo’s incredible exhibits before each screening…

Anorak

Posted: 12th, May 2014 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

The 16 Greatest School Dance Scenes In Film

AH, yes. The school dance. Awkward and often soul shattering, it was a necessary rite of passage. It’s no surprise that such a dramatic collective memory would make for some great moments on film. Here’s a list (in no particular order) of the 16 greatest school dance scenes in movies. Feel free to add your own – I’d love to hear them.

It’s a Wonderful Life

The gym floor opening up into a pool is a beloved movie moment. It highlights perfectly George Bailey’s wild and promising youth before his big fall.

Carrie

Perhaps the most memorable of all high school dance scenes. DePalma’s split screen technique in combination with Spacek’s ghastly visage is one that’s hard to shake.  Last year’s remake game an honorable effort, but you just can’t recreate this sort of horror magic.

Zapped!

Scott Bao’s powers are taken to their limit, and we get to see Heather Thomas zapped and disrobed (well, actually her body double, but a high point in teen sex romps nonetheless).

Pretty in Pink

Andi (Molly Ringwald) ended up with Duckie in the original version of the film, but test audiences were appalled. John Hughes subsequently changed to the script to have Andi end up with Blaine (Andrew McCarthy). I strongly agree with that decision; in fact, I would have preferred Duckie die a horrible death instead.

Grease

 
Who cares that every kid at Rydell looks like they’re over 30. This dance scene with Travolta in his prime doing the Hand Jive is solid gold.

Can’t Buy Me Love

Somehow Patrick Dempsey’s African Anteater Ritual dance catches on, and soon the entire student body is joining in. What a bunch of sheep.

Sixteen Candles

The dance scene has so much to love: “True” by Spandau Ballet, a painfully awkward dance by Farmer Ted, a brief appearance by John Cusack, Dong and his buxom soul mate, the scoliosis girl, and a $1 cover charge to see Sam’s underwear.

Napoleon Dynamite

“My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn’t cause she’s doing some modeling right now.”

Perfectly captures the awkwardness of being on the outer fringes of the popularity caste system – all to the sounds of Alphaville and Cindy Lauper.

Footloose

Ren and Ariel release some seriously pent up sexual energy on the dance floor. Lithgow was not amused.

Better Off Dead

Ricky (the fat dude from Head of the Class) dances like an effing maniac to impress Monique. I laughed till I ran out of air and blacked out, woke up and laughed some more.

Prom Night

A prolonged dance sequence set to disco music (featuring Jamie Lee Curtis) is unusual for a slasher film, but a beautiful thing nonetheless. It’s like Xanadu meets Friday the 13th. Even better, we get to see Leslie Neilsen putting on his boogie shoes!

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

The prom flashback is a brief but wonderfully effective reminder that high school dances feel monumentally important at the time, but really has no consequence for the life that awaits. The reunion dance to “Time After Time” is a nice touch as well.

American Graffiti

There’s a very touching scene with Cindy Williams interspersed with plenty of mid-century tomfoolery. My personal favorite moment: Ron Howard telling the principal to go kiss a duck.

Just One of the Guys

Joyce Hyser shows her friend that she’s really a girl in disguise by exposing her breasts. An odd but historic moment in the annals of gratuitous nudity. (And, no, it’s not in the video below)

Valley Girl 

The curtain opens revealing a brawl between Randy (Nicholas Cage) and Tommy the Prom King. Hilarity ensues when the titular Valley Girl shoves guacamole in Tommy’s face and the crowd erupts into a food fight.

Back to the Future

McFly on the guitar playing “Johnny Be Good” to an eager crowd at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance is an amazing moment…. but then his digression into heavy metal guitar noodling leaves the audience saying “huh?”. Classic.

Honorable Mention: The pilot episode of Freaks and Geeks

It’s a TV show, but it still deserves a mention. Sam Weir finally gets to slow dance with his crush, but the opening to Styx’s “Come Sail Away” quickly turns loud and fast. He decides to go with the flow, stop being so damn self-conscious and just have fun. The feeling is contagious and his sister Lindsey, operating the punch bowls, who had a little something to do with the mentally challenged boy’s broken arm ventures over to see if he has forgiven her by asking him to dance. Perhaps the greatest school dance scene of them all.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 12th, May 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment

Sub Par: The Guardian Says Glasgow Is The Capital Of Scotland

THE Guardian has a fine reputation for making errors. This week, the paper of record for life in Islington and some parts of Camden Town says Glasgow is the capital of Scotland.

@Louisemac spotted the gem.

Anorak

Posted: 11th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

Madeleine McCann: Unearthing Nothing But Pain And Media In Another Praia da Luz Summer

The e-fit of a man, as drawn from memory by British born DVD shop owner Simon Russell after being shown it by police last Saturday, in Praia Da Luz, Portugal, following the disappearance of Madeleine McCann.
Picture date: Wednesday, May 9, 2007.

MADELEINE McCann: A round-up of reporting on the missing child:

The Times: “New hunt for Maddie opens old wounds in Praia da Luz”

David Brown is the latest journalist to holiday in Praia da Luz:

Seven years after Madeleine McCann’s disappearance, the quiet Algarve town where she vanished is preparing to become the centre of world attention all over again.

It never really stopped, though, did it? Until the story has an ending, Praia da Luz is home to the Praia da Luz Mystery.

The dark shadow cast over Praia da Luz has returned with the announcement that a new police search is to begin just as the town is preparing for the tourist season. Madeleine… is the subject of a £5 million Scotland Yard investigation involving up to 40 officers. It was ordered by David Cameron after Portuguese police closed the case. A judge has authorised a request from the British team for the Portuguese police to examine one privately-owned site using ground-penetrating radar. This has upset residents and business owners, who fear the search will put the town back in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.

Anorak

Posted: 10th, May 2014 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comment

Boozvertising: The Art of Selling Alcohol With Sex And A Stuffed Penguin

THE beautiful thing about hard liquor advertising is that it is rarely nuanced or boring. It opts for the ham fisted approach, beating consumers over the head with brazen sexual tactics.  After all, they’re not selling sofa pillows here, folks.  They’re selling booze, and that means things may get interesting…

The “Two Fingers is all it takes” campaign begs the question – all it takes to do what?  Considering we’re talking about tequila, I assume it isn’t “improve your golf swing”.

It would have been interesting if the adverts finished their tagline with a bit of truthfulness, such as “Two Fingers is all it takes…. to impair your judgment and make terrible, life-changing mistakes.”

 

“I never even thought of burning my bra until I discovered Smirnoff.”

I don’t even get this.  Is she saying she didn’t believe in Women’s Lib until she starting drinking cheap vodka?  I guess I can relate.  I didn’t believe in Global Warming until I started huffing gasoline. (That was a joke, for those whose feathers are ruffled.)

Was this advert inspired by the abusive relationship of Ike & Tina?  This just makes me uncomfortable.  If only this was a Pam Grier film, she’d knock that glass to the floor saying, “You didn’t say ‘please’, bitch!”

They don’t have a sense of humor at airport security like they once did.  You do this nowadays and, instead of a laugh, you’ll get tasered and pepper sprayed.  If they’re feeling particularly jovial, they may even throw in a thorough cavity search and a trip to exotic Guantanamo for free.

The “sex sells” approach has always been a key marketing strategy for alcohol.  A clever tag line is great, but nothing beats a pair of boobs in a booze advert.

Although, sometimes some thinly veiled sexual innuendo does the trick even better…

There’s definitely something phallic going on here.  It’s as if Sigmund Freud himself was in charge of the Smirnoff account.

Translated literally:  “Your secretary will have sex with you, if you have lots of Cossack Vodka on hand.”

Presenting hard liquor as a gateway to otherwise impossible sexual relations was a common marketing strategy.  A perfect example is the following advert featuring a young Ali McGraw.

The text is spectacular:

“Never go to a bachelor’s pad alone… Especially if she has roommates.  Bachelor gals get nervous when an available male walks in, empty handed.  But come up with a bottle of White Horse and – thank – you’re welcome, Good Guy!  It’s the Scotch with the taste even roommates can’t argue about: either they like it or they love it.  So you end up with a roomful of purring girls, Good Guys all.  Works in a pad.  Works in a pub.  Because – the Good Guys are always on the White Horse.”

Quite literally, this bottle of Scotch will act as a pheromone, luring hordes of “purring” babes to your bachelor pad so you can have sex with them- all of them.

Lest you imagine the “sex sells booze” approach was strictly a Western thing, this advert clears up any misconception.  Asian advertisers were wise to the selling power of a chick in a silver bikini living in an empty gin bottle.  You might say Japanese were the greatest experts of them all.

Then again, the Japanese also made insanely stupid ads like this one, completely undermining my previous statement.  Of course, when it comes to booze adverts, the Japanese by no means have a monopoly on stupidity….

What the-? This is how I image the Madison Avenue brainstorming session went for this one:

 Ad Exec: “Okay, boys.  We need to sell some vodka.  Let’s hear the ideas.”

Jim:“I think we should go with a smoking hot babe wearing a tiny bikini, holding a bottle of vodka while splayed out on a bearskin rug.”

Fred:”I think we should go with a homely couple inexplicably taping a plastic bag to a stuffed penguin.”

Ad Exec: “Genius, Fred! Genius!”

Jim: (appears hopelessly confused then mumbles incoherently walking away)

 

 

Her shirt reads “It’s Real”.  I suppose it’s better than “They’re Fake”, but still not the greatest thing to emblazon across a female’s breasts.  She already looks a little tipsy, so she probably doesn’t care.

These Boodle ads from 1982 used the “always proper” British Gin as a slang for sex.  I wish they had gone a bit further with it.  For example, “Is it proper to boodle a complete stranger?”  Or even better, “Is it proper to boodle a circus clown while tripping on bath salts?”

 

“Have you these features? [A] Eyes deep set in soft flesh… characteristic of an appreciative type. [B] Ears lying close to the head… characteristic of a type with good taste.”

I guess we can deduce that those of you with protruding eyes and big ears have terrible taste.  You can’t argue with genetics.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 9th, May 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

War On Free Speech: Robert Riley Jailed For Offending The Twitter Mob

THE war on free speech claims Robert Riley, jailed for making comments on twitter about  Leeds school teacher Ann Maguire, who was stabbed to death by a pupil.

Riley tweets under the nom-de-dickhead @bucketmouth. He called Maguire “miss prissy knickers”. He said he would have murdered the rest of the “bastard teachers too”. His full tweet went:

“I wouldn’t have just killed miss prissy knickers Maguire. I’d have stabbed all the bastard teachers.”

Anorak

Posted: 8th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

The 5 Most Underrated Brian De Palma Thrillers

SINCE the early seventies director Brian De Palma has crafted many intense and highly cerebral thrillers.

Alas, such efforts are often dismissed by critics as being overly imitative of Alfred Hitchcock’s films and style rather than praised for their own finely-developed sense of inter-textuality and intellectual gamesmanship.

John Kenneth Muir

Posted: 8th, May 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (4)

Madeleine McCann: Portuguese Police Protect The ‘Suspects’ From The Met

MADELEINE McCann: Anorak’s look at the missing child in the news today:

May 7, 2014:

Daily Record: “British cops arrive for Madeleine McCann hunt but officials ban them from searching suspects’ homes”

A team of British police hunting for Madeleine McCann flew into Portugal yesterday – only to be told they are banned from raiding the homes of three suspects they want to quiz. The team of seven detectives led by Det Chief Insp Andy Redwood, were pictured arriving at Faro Airport.

In a further blow the team have also had their hopes of probing the bank accounts of the trio, who worked at the resort where the child vanished, dashed by Portuguese officials.

As ever, the Portuguese are presented as the enemies.

Scotland Yard had wanted to see if there were any large payments to the suspects, suggesting they could have been paid to snatch Madeleine from the Praia da Luz resort. But a source close to the investigation said last night: “The Portuguese judge who ­examines the requests sent by Scotland Yard’s did not consider the arguments to be valid enough to warrant searching the workers’ homes…”

Anorak

Posted: 8th, May 2014 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comment

Shawn Thomas V The NYPD: Arrested For Using A Camera In A Public Place

Anorak

Posted: 7th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

Bad PR: Sugar Daddy Website Celebrates Desperate Women In The Ukraine

REVOLTING PR of the day: dating site celebrates trouble in Ukraine. The PR drivel trumpets the joy of desperation and poverty:

During the month of March, SugarDaddyForMe.com, the world’s largest Sugar Daddy dating website, has seen a large increase in women from Eastern Europe joining the site to seek a western Sugar Daddy. The online dating site that matches wealthy men (sugar daddies) and women seeking to meet a wealthy man (sugar babies), has seen the number of potential sugar babies joining the site from Eastern Europe more than double since the crisis in Crimea and Ukraine began approximately one month ago.

From Putin with what passes for love.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

Star Tracks: 6 Weird Songs About Famous People

WHEN Joe DiMaggio heard his name in Simon & Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson”, he reportedly went into a rage and wanted to sue. To him, it sounded like an insult and insinuated that he was dead (“Joltin’ Joe has left and gone away.”) In truth, it was a homage – Paul Simon had worshiped DiMaggio growing up. The fact was explained to the baseball legend, but it’s likely he never really understood.

Similarly, when David Bowie played his tribute “Andy Warhol” in front of the artist himself, it was greeted with indifference. After the song was finished, there was an awkward silence and Warhol changed the subject inquiring about Bowie’s shoes.

Even though musicians are unlikely to get a pat on the back from the subject of their songs, that hasn’t stopped artists from making music about famous people either dead or living. From Ozzy’s ode to Alistair Crowley to Bananarama’s shout-out to Robert DeNiro, popular music is littered with songs namedropping famous people in the title. Here are six for your listening pleasure.

“Andy Warhol” by Dana Gillespie

Obviously, this was originally a Bowie song about one his biggest inspirations (found on his Hunky Dory LP). It was later covered by his sometime lover, sometime backing vocalist Dana Gillespie. Dana actually released a couple good albums under Bowie’s production company, but neither sold well, and she never was able to translate any form of success in the States. She moved on to concentrate on being an actress, then a bluesy singer a decade later. Despite her extremely varied career, one things always remained constant with Dana – massive cleavage.

“Rasputin” by Boney M

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine.”

Among his many crimes, Rasputin held control over the royal family, keeping them isolated and under his dark influence at the expense of the nation. But perhaps his most shameful legacy is this song; a disco travesty committed 62 years after his death.

“(My Name Is) Michael Caine” by Madness

 
Using Caine’s Ipcress File (1965) as a basis for a song about the IRA was unusually weighty stuff for the band. Caine initially refused to add his voice to the song, but was convinced by his daughter (a Madness fan)… which is slightly ironic considering Caine isn’t exactly known for turning things down (Jaws: The Revenge, anyone?). But as he once pointed out: “You get paid the same for a bad film as you do for a good one.” It’s hard to argue with that.

“Black Superman (Muhammad Ali)” by Johnny Wakelin

Under the direction of the same record producer responsible for “Kung Fu Fighting”, Wakelin wrote this homage to Ali after watching the epic fight against George Foreman forever known as the Rumble in the Jungle.

Even worse than Bowie’s Warhol tribute, Muhammad Ali was nonplussed by Johnny Wakelin’s “Black Superman (Muhammad Ali)” and basically disowned it.

“Abraham, Martin And John” by Moms Mabley

This song earned a spot on our list of 13 Worst Songs of the 1960s. It is better remembered via renditions by Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gaye and Dion…. but Moms Mabley is what we’re dishing up today as proof that no matter how beautiful something is, it can always be ruined. As sad as the deaths of Lincoln, MLK and JFK are, at least they were spared having to hear Moms sing this song.

“Lord Grenville” by Al Stewart

Lord Grenville was a 16th Century Admiral immortalized in Alfred Lord Tennyson’s The Revenge – A Ballad of the Fleet. This may be the most intellectual song ever written – with historical storytelling, literary references, and philosophical questions of purpose and time, all wrapped in a transcendental melody circling upwards like cannabis vapors to the Heavens. Glorious.

Yeoman Lowbrow

Posted: 7th, May 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)

How Excellent: The NHS To Start Charging For Doctor’s Appointments

New facilities for St. Bartholomew’s Hospital, London: The demonstration room for the new nurses home.
Date: 30/05/1961

THIS is going to cause an awful lot of shouting around and about the place but it’s also an excellent idea. That the NHS should start charging people when they make a doctor’s appointment. The shouting will come from those who insist that the NHS must be free at the point of use. The excellent part comes from the way in which the NHS should not be free at the point of use.

Here’s the report:

GPs are to hold a vote on charging for appointments.

The idea is to deter patients from missing consultations – a problem that costs £160million a year. The fees – possibly between £10 and £25 – would be the first since the NHS was founded in 1948.

One GP said an entire morning’s work was lost when 14 patients failed to turn up. Others believe the free care offered by the Health Service is unsustainable in the face of an aging and increasingly obese population.

It is feared however that charging would stop patients seeking help or encourage them to go to overstretched casualty units.

The proposal is to be debated at the British Medical Association’s local medical committee conference in York on May 22.

Tim Worstall

Posted: 7th, May 2014 | In: Money, Reviews | Comment (1)

Paige Chivers: Looking For A Body In Bispham, Lancashire

FINALLY. They are looking for Paige Chivers. Police are searching for her body in Bispham, Lancashire.

Paige was last seen in Blackpool in August 2007.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, May 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment