Royal Family Category
The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
Is Jessica Donaldson And Prince Harry’s Romance A Publicity Stunt?
JESSICA Donaldson says he did not have sex with Prince Harry. The Sun says:
PRINCE Harry and his Californian cocktail waitress spent the night together in his £80 hotel room… Tattooed Jessica Donaldson, 26, was seen leaving Harry’s suite at 10.30am before getting into a waiting car.
Adding:
Jessica, known as Jes, then went back with Harry to the Courtyard Marriott hotel in Solano Beach, California, after their latest date.
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Posted: 24th, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)
Jessica Donaldson Tells All: Who Is Prince Harry’s Other Women?
JESSICA Donaldson, the American bikini-clad barmaid seen up close with Captain James Hewitt impersonator Prince Harry, has proved less than impossible to track down.
The Mirror hears her explain all about that night with Young Harry Baseball cap:
Says she:
“He’s a real-life Prince Charming.”
Indeed, what fairytale is complete without the dashing Prince waking the Princess by probing his alcohol-soaked tongue into her face? Name one.
But Jessica, 26, says she’s never got off with Harry, and is love with her live-in boyfriend, Brandon Thomason:
“Harry is a real-life Prince Charming. He is so sweet. In fact he was kind of goofy with me. I really like him but I am speaking out now because I want people to know the truth. I am not sleeping with Prince Harry and he has never been anything other than a total gentleman to me.”
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Posted: 23rd, October 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Harry Is Dating Kate Middelton Look Alike Jessica Donaldson: Photos
PRINCE Harry is doing his bit for Anglo-American relations by stepping out with an American named Jessica Donaldson.
She’s 26 and, according to the Sun, is a dead ringer for Kate Middleton.
Is this the real story? Forget those tabloid tales of Harry and Pippa Middleton, it’s the older sister Harry really wants. He’s scoured the world for His Kate, most recently the North Pole and finally found someone who looks just like his sister-in-law living in San Diego.
Granted, Jessica has tattoos, is shorter than Kate, has a more bulbous nose, less luxurious hair, on orangey hue, higher forehead and has never shopped in Jigsaw, but to the Sun’s experts she is a dead ringer for Princess Katherine.
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Posted: 22nd, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (3)
Queen Meets Constipated Julia Gillard And Graceful Elizabeth Cambage: Photos
DID Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard bow when she met Her Majesty The Queen at Government House in Canberra? Or does the Republican have constipation? When they first met the Welsh-born Aussie leader failed to curtsy, an oddly churlish move that only makes the grandstanding non-curtsying woman look chippy and sly. Are Republicans just suffering from an inferiority complex?
One subject who did curtsy to the Queen (5ft 4ins) – or stoop – was six foot eight London born Australian basketball star Elizabeth Cambage, 20, who embraced her height by standing atop four-inch heels.
Says Cambage:
“I curtsied, and she shook my hand. She said, ‘You must be a basketball player.’ I said, ‘What gave it away?’ She said, ‘You are very tall – it must be an easy advantage… She was tiny, a little tiny delicate thing. She was sweet. Very queeny. She just carries herself with so much grace and has the time to meet everyone. She is really lovely.”
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Posted: 21st, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment
Kathy Lette Rubbishes Royal Family After Dining Out On Their Hospitality
KATHY Lette is the Australian ex-pat living in London. That’s her at a Buckingham House soiree meeting the Queen. Kathy accepts Her Majesty’s booze and nibbles, says she had a great party and never wanted to go home – and then rubbishes her hosts on the telly. She is having her cake and eating it – literally:
Lette was at a Royal reception for members of the Australian community living in the UK:
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Posted: 19th, October 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Daily Mail Spots Pippa Middleton’s Arse Gatecrashing Another Daily Mail Story
PIPPA Middleton has backed into another Daily Mail story wrapped about a photo of her backside in a dress.
Charlotte Griffiths tells readers:
Since appearing in THAT dress at her sister’s wedding, Pippa Middleton has been hailed as a global style icon. But…
Butt, surely?
Ignoring the old adage ‘weddings and green should never be seen’ was not Pippa’s only fashion fault, however, as she also wore cross-strapped suede high-heels – and the aristocratic set consider heels unsightly at weddings. Only kitten-heeled shoes are deemed acceptable in the country.
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Posted: 18th, September 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Kate Middleton Is Pregnant With Twins (Sources Say)
HUGE NEWSSSSSSSSS! Kate Middleton is “Pregnant With Twins!”
We know this because Star magazine knows this and tells us what it knows on its front page.
“A BOY AND A GIRL”
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Posted: 7th, September 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Pippa Middleton At 28: Photos And Reader Offer
PIPPA Middleton’s backside is 28 years old today. Happy birthday! Look out for an exhibition of Pippa’s wedding outfit – that dress! those knickers! – at Buckingham Palace. Pippa’s still warm and slightly used souvenirs can bought from HRH Baseball Cap Solutions, Po Box 343 Croatia.
Posted: 6th, September 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Harry, Two Croatian Models And A Wet Patch: Video Of Hal’s Chicken Dance Cocktail Dive
YOU’VE seen the video and photos of Prince Harry Baseball Cap dancing like a chicken in a dad suit in a Croatian club before falling into a massive cocktail. While royal watchers debate where Harry tumbled into the drink to mask an earlier, er, spill on his smart denims, the Mail tells us that “Really” happened when Harry got pissed and left a club with wannabe models Ana Simovic, 23, and Svetlana Gavrilovic, 28, and his pal Tom Inskip.
Mis Gavrilovic says:
“He was a true gentleman, very nice and polite. He noticed us and came over to say ‘Hi’. I was very surprised by how approachable he was.”
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Posted: 30th, August 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Duchess Of Alba Marries Alfonso Diez: Photos Of Their Love
THE 85-year-old 18th Duchess of Alba is to be married to 61-year-old civil servant Alfonso Diez. Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, to give her her dues, holds no fewer than 44 noble titles and 150 hereditary ones. Legend has it that she walk through Spain while never setting foot on another’s property. She is minted.
What attracted Sernor Diez to the ancient billionairess? We can’t say. But she has sought to counter the cynics by giving her five sons, one daughter and eight grandchildren their inheritance early. Moreover, Diez has signed a document renouncing any claim to his lover’s wealth. She has issued a statement in Hola! magazine:
“None of my friends will attend the marriage due to a lack of space.”
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Posted: 25th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)
The EnglandVaarders Meet The Non-Nazi Prince Harry: Photos
PRINCE Harry spent the day meeting with members of the Suffolk Foundation and families of participants taking part in the The EnglandVaarders rowing escapade from Holland to the shores of Sizewell, Suffolk. Yep. People row across the North Sea for fun – ok, charity.
Harry met the families of four British men who recreated the epic escape from Nazi-occupied Holland. Anorak can understand why you do it when the Nazis are on your arse, but doing it when you don’t need to is odd. Maybe the thrill was in meeting Harry? And, no, he wasn’t dressed as a Nazi…
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Posted: 24th, August 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Princess Diana And Dodi Fayed Were Engaged – Says German Journalist Who Never Reported It
DID you know that Princess Diana had a “SECRET ENGAGEMENT“.
No, not a meeting with a dress designer last week at her current abode on the fabled sixth floor of Harvey Nichols department story. This secret engagement was to Dodi Fayed.
Given that Diana played out so much of her life in the public eye as a celebrity princess, and that Dodi’s dad, Mohamed Al Fayed has never been reluctant to speak publicly of his family’s links to the royals, the news is a shocker. But, still, this is the Daily Express and its front page is informative:
PRINCESS Diana and Dodi Fayed were already secretly engaged when she was killed, according to explosive new evidence.
Evidence?
A German journalist has come forward to tell of a visit to Monte Carlo by Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed – just seven days before the fatal Paris car crash in August 1997.
Yes. A journalist… She should offer a clear account that stick to the facts. So. About that evidence..?
Trixi Chall, who wrote for Germany’s popular Bild newspaper for two decades, claims she saw Diana pointing at and picking out a diamond-encrusted ring from an exclusive jeweller as they strolled through the resort.
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Posted: 17th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (8)
Sophie Winkleman And Zara Phillips Learn Their Lines In Hello!
SOPHIE Winkleman is talking to Hello! about her life married to Lord Freddie Windsor, the minor royal now working s a banker for JP Morgan.
The interview is remarkably dull. The only revelation of any note is:
“…a couple of times we’ve been to visit a friend with a very beautiful little island off Vancouver”.
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Posted: 9th, August 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Princess Beatrice’s Transmits Photos Of Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall’s Wedding
THE wedding of Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall at Canongate Kirk on Edinburgh’s Royal Mile was a big do. The Duchess of Cambridge was there. Ian Balshaw’s face was there – the best man fell of his bike last week, apparently. And then there was Princess Beatrice. Could she follow that hat she wore to the wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William with another hideous creation that will captivate the mob and cement her growing celebrity? Answer: she tried.
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Posted: 30th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (2)
Pippa Middleton’s ‘Like A Sister’ To Kate Middleton Reveals Daily Mail: Photos
PIPPA Middleton’s school photos are in the Daily Mail. How did these few pictures come to be published? Well:
The pictures were taken by Kevin Allford, who was housemaster to Pippa and Kate at the £13,000-a-year preparatory school in the Nineties.
Mr Allford, who now lives in Carmarthen, said: ‘Pippa was like her sister…”
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Posted: 28th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Charles Rides An Electric Bike And A Wooden Horse (Photos)
TODAY the Prince of Wales rode an electric bicycle and carved wood during the Start Garden Exhibition and Pop-Up Restaurant at Clarence House in central London.
The photos are a bit odd. In the first you can see two people hiding behind Charles’s back. And when when he cycles, the walking guard create the impresison of a man going nowhere… in a suit…
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Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (4)
Queen And Kate Middelton View Wedding Dress At Buckingham Palace: Photos
KATE Middleton spent part of her day with Queen Elizabeth II viewing the wedding dress the now Duchess of Cambridge wore during her April marriage to Prince William. They also looked at the Duchess of Cambridge’s intricately decorated wedding cake. You can see both untouched museum pieces at Buckingham Palace (or Kensington Palace and Sandringham when they’re on holiday)…
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Posted: 22nd, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Princess Diana’s ‘Murder’ Letter Is Beyond The Grave
PRINCESS Diana is back! On the cover of the Daily Express a smiling Di illustrates the headline:
“DIANA POLICE FACE ARREST”
This must be good news for the non-seatbelt wearing celebrity princess, now residing on the fabled Sixth Floor of London’s Harvey Nichol’s department store, because, as we say, she is happy of expression.
The Express uses Diana as a barometer of its news on her. Bad news and Diana looks demure and down. Interesting news and Diana looks to the left. News on her sons and Diana looks to the heavens. Good news and she beams like the sun.
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Posted: 22nd, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Kate And William Mate Over A Pippa Middleton Sex Coconut (Photos)
KATE Middleton and Prince William – aka Duke and Duchess of Cambridge – have been presented with a coconut that looks like a woman’s vagina and hips/ buttocks.
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Posted: 17th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Pippa Middleton’s Bum Gets Lighly Toasted: Photos
FANS of the Beefeater Grill say that Pippa Middleton – she’s the Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sister – is the person they wouild most like to share breaskfast with.
This might well be a euphermism for sex – breakfast of champions – because the Beefeater Grill does not serve breasfast. The restaurants open at noon. Either its patrons lie in and forgo Shreddies for a Chicken Breast Burger with Cheese and Bacon, or else the question ‘Who would mum or dad most like to shag?’ is thought not best suited to a family eatery.
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Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Princess Charlene Wittstock’s Oyster Box Barred To Prince Albert
WHAT news of Prince Albert of Monaco and his blushing bride (surely rushing? – ed), Princess Charlene Wittstock, who only the other week were party to the gayest wedding this side of Elton John’s duvet cover?
Well, the 53-year-old billionaire and his 33-year-old wife are at odds over the paternity of some children that might be his. She’s been honeymooning at Umhlanga Rocks, South Africa; and her husband has been honeymooning ten miles away in the city of Durban.
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Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Prince William Bumalike Wanted: Situations Vacant
ARE you a Prince William bumalike? Do you think your bum is a ringer for Prince William’s tush? Well, if so, this is your big break…
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Posted: 15th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Duke And Duchess Wills And Kate In LA To Sort His Hair, Her Chest And Victoria Beckham’s PR: Photos
THE Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are in Hollywood to sort out his hairline and her breasts. When they come back look out for Wills sporting a Brad Pitt zip-on and Kate wearing Ass by Kardashian and Paris Hilton’s huge feet beneath a porn starlet overhang.
The toothsome twosome have been paraded before around 200 guests at the Consul General’s residence in Los Angeles. The usual trans-Atlantic telegenic dross were there: David Beckham, Stephen Fry and jobbing toff Lord Freddie Windsor.
The Mail reproduces an exchange between Becks and Wills:
Becks: “Victoria really wanted to come but she is just so tired at the moment. She sent you both lots of love. How was Canada? It looked amazing.”
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Posted: 9th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Diamond Marshall And The Death Of Cynicism: When The Duchess Of Cambridge Made A Wish Come True
CYNICISM break now, readers. On their trip to Canada, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge started a meme and routed the French. Then they met 6-year-old, Diamond Marshall, of Alberta Children’s Hospital. Diamond has cancer. Her mum died from caner when she was 18-months old. She is supported by the Children’s Wish Foundation. Her wish was to meet a real princess. So, she met Kate and gave her a bunch of flowers.
Diamond had written a letter. Rebekah Brooks and the Murdochs many – even you may find a reason to lick your eyeballs:
“I was named after Princess Diana. My mommy memory is in heaven with her. I watched you get married from my bed. My favourite princess is Aurora, who is yours? I would really like to meet you. Do you want to meet me too?”
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Posted: 8th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Duke Of Cambridge And Catherine Do The Calgary Stampede: Photos
THE Duke of Cambridge and Catherine have been to the Calgary Stampede in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. It was the final stop of their nine-day tour. The Duke and Duchess sported white ten gallon hats, and cowboy shirts and boots. Williams then tossed a small stove into the back of a chuck wagon.
Thick wrested men then mounted big bulls and trued to ride them. Kate was heard to utter:
“Oh my God, oh my.”
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Posted: 8th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
