Royal Family Category
The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
The Greatest Duke And Duchess Of Cambridge Photo Ever: A Meme Is Born
DAY 6 of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s trip to Canada and we get the photo that will used to for years to come. A meme has been born as Catherine watched a hockey game at the Somba K’e Civic Plaza in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories.
The first photo will be reused for years…
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Posted: 6th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Face Of The Day: Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Does Hampton Court Palace Flower Show
FACE of The Day belongs to the dandelion-haired woman stood behind Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. Prince William’s stepmother was on a visit to Hampton Court Palace Flower Show. There she met a man on a pair of stilts. For some reason that Anorak dare not think too long and hard about, Camilla popped open a little umbrella…
Posted: 5th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Canada Marks US Independence Day With Duke And Duchess Of Cambridge: America Gets Sarah Ferguson (Photos)
ON July 4, the day America celebrates the death of monarchy, nepotism, divine rule, taxation without representations and the rise of Kennedys, Clintons, hanging chads and Bushes, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were wowing the Canadians.
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Posted: 5th, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Prince William And Kate Thrash The French At Cooking: Quebec Resistance Routed Over Crispy Duck (Photos)
MORE Canada action from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge as they took part in a cooking adventure at the Institut De Tourisme et D’hotellerie Du Quebec in Montreal. The plot was clear: the French speakers would get the roast beefs in the kitchen and laugh at their chips and curry sauce.
But Prince William was ready. Summing the spirit of General James Wolfe, Williams conjured a cranberry-crusted lamb and croustillant a l’effiloche de canard confit. The coup de grace was the lobster soufflé. Take that Frenchie! Take that and your failed attempts at a global empire on which the sun never set. You might have an aircraft carrier, but we’ve captured your souffle (mais oui, we have done away with the accent) and crispy duck surprise.
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Posted: 3rd, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (4)
Duke And Duchess of Cambridge Give A Tree To Canada: Because Canada Needs More Trees (Photos)
DAY 3 of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s trip to Canada. And the time is ripe to plant a tree at Rideau Hall in Ottawa, Canada. The tree that Kate and William helped to plant is next to the one planted by the Prince and the Princess of Wales in 1983. Because what more do the Canadians need than trees? Answer: a backpacking moose dipped in syrup…
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Posted: 3rd, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Charlene Wittstock Marries A Butch Cake Decoration In Monaco: Prince Albert’s Wedding Photos
DAY two of Prince Albert 2 of Monaco’s wedding to Charlene Wittstock. Having impounded his bride’s passport and headed her off at Nice airport – why the Olympic swimming champion didn’t head for the waves instead of the road we may never know – she was ready for the religious do the Place du Palais, Monte Carlo. For the occasion, screamingly heterosexual Albert dressed as Elton John impersonating Richard Gere’s Officer And A Gentleman on a ride down Old Compton Street on Mr Whippy’s ice-cream float. The bride wore a look of patience and resignation…
Note: The British royal family were represented by Albert’s British stunt double Prince Edward and his wife Sophie, Countess of Wessex.
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Posted: 2nd, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)
Prince Albert Of Monaco Ties The Knot About Runaway Charlene Wittstock: The Wedding Photos
HAPPY days in Monaco where the screamingly heterosexual Prince Albert II has tied the knot with Charlene Wittstock. Having headed her off at Nice airport and impounded her passport, love blossomed for the man they call the Prince Edward of Monaco and the former Olympic athlete who was always better at swimming than running.
(We had the boat ready, Charlene. You only had to ‘do a swimmer’. You chose to run and that was never your bag.)
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Posted: 2nd, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (3)
Prince William And Kate Mark Canada Day In Ottawa: Photos To Make Americans Weep
THE Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been on Parliament Hill in Ottawa for Canada Day celebrations on the second day of their visit to the Commonwealth country. Canadians love the Royal family. The Canadians, in their French speaking bilingual country, love the Royals because the Americans don’t have a Royal family, they just have Paris Hilton and Burger King. Very soon the Canadians will move on from sticking Maple Flags on their backpacks and luggage – flags that scream, “Yup – I hate them Yankees Too” – and slap Royal Mail stamps to their foreheads and wear Kate & Wills teeth.
But Kate’s not anti-American. No sireee. After the mooseburgers have been digested, Kate and Wills are off to LA for some vegetables. And in a tribute to the Americans, she did include two ketchup-coated nachos on her Maple Leaf themed hat…
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Posted: 1st, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment
Hello Moosef*ckers: Prince William And Kate Are In Canada (Photos)
HELLO moosef*ckers. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are in bilingual Canada, and not only the bilingual French speaking bits. They’re in Ontario Canada, a place the Governor General David Johnston calls “the honeymoon capital of the Commonwealth”. The second most popular city for couples marrying in the Commonwealth is, of course, Las Vegas (at Anorak we adhere to the pre-1776 calendar)…
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Posted: 1st, July 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Newsweek, The Daily Express And The Franklin Mint On Milking Princess Diana: A Gallery Of Royal Tat
PRINCESS Diana is 50. On the fabled Sixth Floor of London’s Harvey Nichol’s shopping emporium Anorak’s man with a camera is making ready for the interview sensation of the century. But others cannot wait for the great return. The Daily Express photoshopped Shy Di at 50 on its front page. And then Newsweek produced a cover photo of “Diana at 50” in which the telegenic celebrity princess was aged by computer wizardry and placed walking down a street with Pippa Middleton. The US organ said Di had had Botox. They even produced a Tweet in which she says: “If you treat people as brothers and sitter stye respond accordingly.” They bicker, fight over money and marry people the rest of the family hate.
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Posted: 30th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Kate Middleton And Prince William Present Medals In A Squashed Blueberry Hat
ANOTHER day for Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, and with it another hat. Today, Kate has been mostly wearing a lid fashioned from a squashed blueberry. This is what all the cool kids will be wearing come Monday. Although, from another angle the tit-fer-tat looks like one of those bags you fill with ice to cool a post-binge brow.
| We should also say: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were presenting operational medals for service in Afghanistan to members of the 1st Battalion Irish Guards at the Victoria Barracks, Windsor. The 1st Battalion Irish Guards returned in April from a six-month tour in Afghanistan where they were deployed to 22 different locations in Helmand Province, tasked with developing the Afghan Army. Six soldiers returned home two weeks before the royal couple’s wedding day and had ceremonial duties to perform in London on the day.
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Posted: 25th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Hasmukh Shingadia Is Kate Middleton’s Guilty Royal Wedding Guest In Oxford Crown Court
HASMUKH Shingadia (Has Muck?) is the Royal wedding guest who has pleaded guilty at Oxford Crown Court to a charge of false accounting. You might feel sympathy for Mr Shingadia, owner of the The Peaches convenience store, in Upper Bucklebury, Berkshire. You might think that if were not for Prince William’s wedding to local girl Kate Middleton and his reported attendance at said do, Mr Shingadia’ crime would not make the national newspapers.
The Sun told us:
Theft rap for Kate grocer pal guest
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Posted: 24th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Pippa Middleton Rescues Wimbledon From Cliff Richard And Foreign Arses: Photos
PIPPA Middleton was shopping on the King’s Road in Fulham today. We know this because we’ve got lots of photos to prove the fact.
Middleton is big news because her arse is, of course, the thing all of Britain will be pinning its hopes on should no British woman in a tennis skirt progress to the last days of Wimbledon. It will be up to Our Pippa to take her seat to the Royal Box and present her buttocks to the crowd, the royal orbs demurely-yet-alluringly clad in a high-street dress of thinnish fabric.
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Posted: 23rd, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2)
Kate Middleton Refuses To Apologise For Her Wimbledon Letter Errors (In Full)
KATE Middleton’s letter to Wimbledon is the Daily Mail’s most popular story. News is that the woman known as the Duchess of Cambridge is a rotten speller. Says the Mail of a letter Kate wrote to the All England club three years ago:
“In the letter, just unveiled in Wimbledon’s museum, she writes quite instead of quiet and confuses ’till with ’til.”
To put the tin lid on news that Kate is every bit as dim as Princess Diana woz, we are told:
Kate, whose brother James suffers from dyslexia, is a former pupil at Marlborough College, where current boarding fees are £29,000 a year, and went on to study at St Andrews University.
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Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (6)
David Cameron Takes Her Majesty The Queen Upstairs: Photos
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Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Queen And Duke Luncheon WIth Camerons At Number 10: Photos
THE Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh have been greeted by Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife Samantha at Downing Street, London. 
This was a luncheon to mark the Duke’s 90th birthday.
Dave was in his element. A man bred for power who knows how to eat his soup exists for such grand occasions. Gordon Brown would most likely have got the teaspoon caught in his trouser pocket, and Nick Clegg… Well, if Dave drops his napkin, Nick’s your man to pick it up and place it back on his master’s lap in the right way…
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Posted: 21st, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Kate Middleton Smiles And Waves At Order Of The Garter: Photos
KATE Middleton (as she must always be known among the riffraff and on the internet search engines), was at the Order of the Garter Service at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. Sadly, the Duchess of Cambridge wore no visibly garter, leaving the her husband Prince William, Margaret Thatcher (Sarah Palin Hater No. 1) and others a free run at the dressing up box…
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Posted: 13th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Marquess Of Bath’s Wiflets Fight Over Leather Skirts And Bedding Rights
THE wifelets to the Marquess of Bath have been rowing over who would sleep with him. To the petting zoo at Longleat House, Wiltshire, where one woman, allegedly, has suffered a suspected broken nose and cut eye.
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Posted: 12th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Trooping The Colour Photos: Prince William Top Rooney And Kate Smells One
PRINCE William and the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, have been trooping the Colour. You who have not been trooping might think it a kind of camping, or yomping. It is. But you get to do it in London, well away from farming types and that mass of spite, alcoholism and bitterness experts call the countryside.
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Posted: 11th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Philip Eats Cheese: Photos Of The Man’s Private Life
HAPPY birthday Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark, Phil The Greek, Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg. You are The Gaffemeister, a person who only exists in news print when you make a “gaffe”, saying the unsayable to some obsequious expats. And it is the emigrants that are the problem.
Phil’s gaffes are based on the assumption that foreignness is something you can catch:
He told a Briton he met in Hungary in 1993: “You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly”.
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Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
When Prince Charles Met Shrek: Photos Of A Hairy Moment
TO the “special performance” of Shrek The Musical at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane, London. Prince Charles and Jack Black were there to meet and greet Richard Blackwood as Donkey, Amanda Holden as Princess Fiona and Nigel Lindsay as Shrek – who now looks nothing like hairy Wayne Rooney…
Posted: 9th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Did Soiled Ballot Papers Cost Pippa Middleton Rear Of Year Title? Photos
PIPPA Middleton is not the Queen of Bums, Arses and Backsides. Pippa did not win the coveted Rear of the Year title. The winner is Carol Vorderman.
Pippa scored well for Shaggability (an impressive 94% would) but lost marks in the crucial Bottom You’d Most To Like To Use The Toilet After category amid confusion on the term “throne”.
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Posted: 8th, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Duchess Of Cornwall Attends Hay Festival (Eats Well)
THE Duchess Of Cornwall has been attending the Hay Festival.
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Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Pippa Middleton Goes Courting In Paris: Photos
WILL bikini-clad, topless stunna Pippa Middleton embrace the celebrity foisted on her by big sister Kate’s marriage to the future King?
Well, for the second time in a week, Pippa’s on the front page of the Daily Mail.
The headline thunders:
“PIPPA’S PARIS ‘DATE’ WITH MR PEUGEOT”
Mr Peugeot sounds a bit downmarket for out Pippa? Was Mr Leyland-Daf busy? Was young Master Lada at the shops?
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Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment
Pippa Middleton Wants You To Smash Justin Bieber In The Face
THE Middletons are to “Make a mint” out of “pop star deal”. So says the Daily Mail on a front page featuring Pippa Middleton, Our Lady Of the Glorious Bum.
Can it be that Pippa is to unveil her pipes on a record? No. The news is that Pippa’s mum and dad are now flogging Justin Bieber tat on their website.
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Posted: 30th, May 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment
