Royal Family Category
The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
Poppy Day Wars: Cherie Blair Battles Sophie Wessex
REMEMBRANCE Day: To your poppies, ladies. The Sunday ceremony at the Cenotaph, Whitehall, London is now all about who has the biggest poppy. Cherie Blair wore a squirting one that coats the unsuspecting sniffer in a serum of Teflon and the smell of wet wafer and washed cash. Sophie Wessex opted for a flower pot on her head…
Posted: 14th, November 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (4)
The Queen’s Facebook Page: Courting A Poke With Prince Harry’s Pink Pants
HER Majesty The Queen’s Facebook site will hook up Buckingham Palace with the online community. The social network just climbed. The page will feature Royal events, ceremonies and the wonderful Court Circular. Prince Harry’s pink knickers will not get an airing…much…
Posted: 7th, November 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Harry Looks Good In Nets: Photos
PRINCE Harry was climbing a net over a pair of large guns during the launch of The Soldier Challenge 2011 at the Imperial War Museum, London. Harry – who at one staged offered the watching press out with beckoning finger of hope – looks so much like his dad Prince Charles that any myth of the James Hewitt gene can be dispelled. TV survivalist Bear Grylls resisted any urge to slaughter Harry, hollow him out and turn him into a cup…
Posted: 5th, November 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Inspects The Household Helmets: Photos
THE Duchess of Cornwall was inspecting the ceremonial uniform of the mounted band of the Household Cavalry regiment today. The woman who made Prince Charles dream of being her tampon then proceeded to inspect a bevy of shiny helmets. Later, Camilla examined a saddle at close quarters. It’s easy, isn’t. Whatever Camilla does makes her seem smutty and, well, likeable.
She’s a bawdy tossback to an age when the Royal Family felt little need to be faithful. Produce a heir in an arranged marriage and shag everyone else at will. Camilla is thre blueblood that Diana pretended not to be.
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Posted: 4th, November 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (4)
Cats Found Living In Buckets And Bins In Battersea (Photos)
CATS are now ordered and kept in buckets, or ‘small bins’ as Mary Bale and her acolytes might call them. Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, was at Battersea Dogs’ and Cats’ Home to see the new cattery which offers refuge to up to 90 lost and abandoned cats and kittens. When found the cats appear to be stored in a bucket. How many cats can you get in a bargain bucket? That question to you, the owner of Shanghai Fried Chicken…
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Posted: 28th, October 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Queen And Qatar’s Emir Play Dress Ups At Harrods (Photos)
NOW that Queen Elizabeth II and Qatar’s Emir Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani have had a chat is it safe to say that Harrods will restore the shops royal warrants – those flashy endorsements from the Queen, Duke of Edinburgh, the late Queen Mother and the Prince of Wales the former owner Mohamed Al Fayed had taken down and burnt? The Qatari Royal family own Harrods now, realised, correctly, that when abroad it’s always good to take your own tea-time favourites, or else buy a big shop to put them in ready for your arrival.
While the shopping is debated, get a load of those outfits. We’ve got a fine collection of photos of the meeting and the dinner, at which the Emir and Her Majesty vie with the military, the Duke of Edinburgh and the Emir’s wife Sheikha Mozah bint Nasser Al Missned (yep, bint) to see who can win the prize for the most outrageous, over-the-top outfit. Lady Gaga? She’s not fit to call herself a blueblood…
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Posted: 27th, October 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince William And Katie Middleton Wedding Photos
PRINCE William and Katie Middleton were at a wedding. We got offered the photos. We thought Wills and middle-class had eloped and dunnit. But then we saw the photos, read the banns and learnt that Harry Mead and Rosie Bradford had married in the village of Northleach, Gloucestershire, Prince William and Kate Middleton had attended. Yeah Katie was doing the going home party bags and Wills was on security. Still, next time, eh…
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Posted: 23rd, October 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Chile Sells San Jose Mine Rock At $50 A Pebble: Queen And Cameron Get Theirs Free (Photos)
THE President of Chile, Mr Sebastian Pinera, was given a rock star’s welcome at Downing Street, enjoying a ‘clap in‘ by Downing Street staff, a privilege normally only afforded to incoming British Prime Minister. Pinera then gave David Cameron a rock from the bottom of the San Jose mine, from where 33 minsters were rescued.
Chile has lots of rocks. It also has lots of copper and gold, the extraction of which was the driver for that mine being built. But now the rock might be worth more than the shiny stuff.
Pinera later gave a rock to Her Majesty The Queen at Buckingham Palace. Both Cameron and Liz’s rocks were small. This makes them look more precious. Stick the rock in a cardboard box with a bit of velvet and a certificate and – bish-bosh! – job done. Chile can palm these out at £50 a time and be rich.
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Posted: 19th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment
Queen Elizabeth 2 Launches Queen Elizabeth With White Wine (Photos)
QUEEN Elizabeth II pressed the button that released the bottle of white wine (there’s a recession on and saving must be made when launching a 92,000-tonne floating hotel) that smashed into the hull of Cunard’s newest cruise ship, the Queen Elizabeth in Southampton.
Jimmy Savile was there, too. No gold lamé tracksuit. Jimmy’s a patriot. He would not upstage the Queen. (And him related to The Duchess, and all.)
We also spotted: Sir Ben Kingsley, Carol Vorderman, Judith Chalmers, Esther Ranzen and former Coronation Street actress Liz Dawn; all of whom could play the Queen art various stages of her life…
The Queen Elizabeth Liner In Photos
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Posted: 11th, October 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Chatsworth Attic Sale Photos: Buy A Crown And King George IV’s Secret Whore Door
THE Duck Of Devonshire is selling some of his stuff in the Chatsworth Attic sale. There are 20,000 objects in over 1,000 lots, ranging in value from £15 (a canvas pram) to £200,000 (a 16th century George II carved white marble fireplace). Some of this stuff is amazing, like the bookcase with the secret door through which the Prince of Wales (soon to be George IV) would move into an adjoining bedroom to meet his mistress. The Whore Door could be yours.
We’ve picked out the picks of the lots on offer at Sotherby’s this October. Fancy a crown? Take a look…
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Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment
The Duchess Of Windsor’s Jewels Sale: Photos Of Bling
THE Duchess of Windsor’s estate is selling off a diamond bracelet by Cartier, c. 1985, which is valued at £100,000 to £150,000. The woman who reduced King Edward VIIII to a Duke had some nice pieces.
The shiny things form part of a collection of the Jewels of the Duchess of Windsor at Sotheby’s in London.
Maybe, madam, prefers the gold and diamond necessaire du soir (if you have to ask it’s out of your league) which the Duchess of Windsor carried to a White House dinner with President Nixon in 1970 (valued at £50,000 to £70,000)? Or how about the ruby, sapphire, emerald citrine and diamond, Flamingo Clip, mounted by Cartier in 1940, which is valued from £1m to £1.5m? Or the emerald, ruby and diamond brooch, made to commemorate the Duke and Duchess of Windsor’s twentieth wedding anniversary, valued at 100,000 to 150,000?
Or you can have the lot for a tenner and promise not to mention the war…
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Posted: 23rd, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Dutch Royals Celebrate Prince’s Day 2010
BECAUSE Anorak is bigger than Hello!, we sent our own Marquesa to see Queen Beatrix and Prince Willem Alexander at the Noordeine Palace in Den Haag, Holland, for the Prince’s Day Celebrations. Queen Bea laughed in jolly way. Willem looked an extra from that Dynasty balcony scene. And then Princess Maxima went off for a ride in the golden coach, looking to all the world like a sun-bed kissed Princess Diana…
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Posted: 21st, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2)
Queen’s New Portrait Is Nice: Photos
AWARD-winning painter Isobel Peachey, 31, stands next to her official portrait of Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II , unveiled at the National Portrait Gallery in central London. Peachey, 31, was commissioned by Cunard to create the picture, which will be hung in its new cruise liner – Queen Elizabeth. The portrait is a three-quarter length painting and shows the sovereign sat in an ornate chair in the yellow drawing room at Buckingham Palace.
Here’s the portrait. It’s just nice, isn’t it. Peachey, even…
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Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (3)
A Gallery Of Queen Elizabeth II’s Beer Mats
HER Majesty the Queen is a tegestologist – a collector of beer mats. And she’s just taken delivery of one signed by Ricky Gervais. Prince Harry delivered the message – “To Liz II, Cheers! Ricky Gervais.” We trawled the web and now bring you a collection of mats Her Majesty rests her evening tincture of gin and Ricicles on a mat and lights a ciggie:
Posted: 15th, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
A Brief History Of Kate Middleton And Prince William’s Wedding Dates
KATIE Middleton, of the Berkshire Middle-classes, is to marry Prince William. But when? The mainstream press has the facts:
Prince William will marry his on-off girlfriend Kate Middleton this summer with an official announcement expected ‘imminently’ – Daily Mail, March 11, 2009
Prince William says he will marry Kate Middleton in ‘a while’ – Daily Telegraph, Feb 23, 2010
“…royal expert Tina Brown claims Buckingham Palace has cleared the way for an announcement on either June 3 or 4… Writing on her blog for her Daily Beast website, the former Vanity Fair editor turned author said: “A high-placed source in royal circles tells me that two days in June have been mysteriously blocked out on the palace diaries – June 3 and 4. If so, a wedding itself would probably follow in November” – Metro, April 7, 2010
PRINCE WILLIAM is to marry girlfriend Kate Middleton next summer – Dan Sales, Daily Star, April 24, 2010
Former royal butler Paul Burrellreckons Prince William will ask girlfriend Kate Middleton to marry him in the New Year and make her his bride in early summer 2011 – Now magazine, August 16, 2010
PRINCE William will end the marathon wait for Kate Middleton – by making her his bride in 2012 just before the London Olympics.
The News of the World can reveal they will marry in the spring – just ahead of his 30th birthday in June – Robert Jobson, NoTW, September 12, 2010
Such are the facts…
Image: The Asda Cup.
Posted: 12th, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
The Mary Bale Players Entertain Prince Charles With Judy Garland Classic On Cats: Video
AS promised, the Mary Bale Players, ably supported by Mr Henry Dagg, will now play Somewhere Over The Rainbow as bin lids are slammed on their squeaky noses and tapping feet.
Anorak was at Clarence House mansion for a celebration of sustainable living in which Camilla sewed a tampon and Prince Charles knitted a massive pair of unisex knickers that with favourable wind should have him in Gloucestershire in time for tea…
Posted: 11th, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2)
Charles Enjoys The Cat Organ As Camilla Sews (Photos)
PRINCE Charles and Camilla were at the START initiative which gives help to people to lead more sustainable lives. in the garden of Clarence House.
You make your own cat organ with a mixture of different-sized cats and a middle-aged woman from Coventry opening and closing a bin lid on their tails.
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Posted: 10th, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Queen Meets Canadian Governor-General – Look Daggers (Photos)
HAVING attended the Braemar Gathering at Braemar in Scotland, Her Majesty the Queen met David Johnston, Canadian Governor-General Designate, during his visit to Balmoral Castle in Scotland.
The pictures, as ever, say more than the Queen does…
Posted: 5th, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Upskirt Photos And The Queen’s Knees At The Braemar Gathering
PSST! Anyone want to see Royal upskirt pictures of The Duke of Edinburgh, Queen Elizabeth II (centre) and The Prince of Wales at the Braemar Highland Games in Braemar, Scotland, the so-called Braemar Gathering.
The tables of events:
Highland Dancing
Piping
Tossing the Caber
Putting the Stone
Throwing the Hammer
Sprinting, Relay Race and Hill Race
Long Leap
Tug of War
Children’s Sack Race
It’s the Olympics without the French influence…
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Posted: 4th, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Get Inside Princess Diana’s Knickers In China
TO commemorate the 13th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana, here’s your chance to buy her knickers.
Beneath the motto “Feel the romance of British royalty“, the “Princess” sports frilly knickers, tiara, necklace, blue bra and cheeky grin.
It’s what she would have wanted.
Now with free Camilla tampon!
Spotter: Stylebrity
Posted: 1st, September 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
India Hicks’ Royal Guide to Surviving In The Bahamas
INDIA Hicks greets Hello! magazine in the “beautiful Oxfordshire home” of her mother, Lady Pamela Hicks, the Duke of Edinburgh’s cousin who was once a lady-in-waiting to the Queen.
India lives in a plantation house in the Bahamas, on Harbour Island. She is a mo-del. She says she is “more hands on with our children” than her parents’ generation.
India says that the two eldest of her four children stay at boarding school in England is “a very painful part of the process” of island life.
Island life is tough. “Unconventional” India says “a Gordonstoun education helps enormously”.
Gordonstoun is the public school. The fees for boarding are £8,869-a-term, rising to £ £9,756 for older students.
So, having prepared for island life in the classroom, what’s the island like? The Independent puts it thus?
Islands don’t get much more glam than this celeb-dripping, boutique-hotel lined, coral edged hideaway in the Bahamas. From the antique-filled India Hicks-designed retreat The Landing to the cool Rock House Hotel, owned by Gianni Versace’s former builder J Wallace Tutt, Harbour Island does a good line in upscale Caribbean chic. The island’s main town, Dunmore, also boasts photogenic pastel-painted cottages and white picket fences. Still need convincing? How about the fact that you arrive by water taxi? Or that you can swim off beaches the colour of candyfloss? Is there a downside? That depends on how you feel about getting around by golf buggy.
File under: Does grandpa Mountbatten still own India?
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Posted: 26th, August 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2)
Princess Diana’s Annual Summer Outing: In Words and Pictures
PRINCESS Diana returns to the Daily Express’s front page. Frank Thorpe and John Chapman (f8 and f9 on the Express new-generator) and deliver facts:
FRESH concerns were raised over the Princess Diana inquest last night after it was claimed 500 pieces of crucial evidence were withheld from the jury.
If they were “crucial”, why were they withheld?
The documents, many containing information from medical experts, were not made available to the 2008 hearing in London, we can reveal.
Article continues after inquest photos:
Why not? And why are they being made available now?
As the 13th anniversary of Diana’s death in a car crash in Paris approaches…
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Posted: 7th, August 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
These Royal Family Holiday Pictures Give Us All Heart
ON with the Royal Family summer holidays 2010: There goes Queen Elizabeth II and her family member son a fun-filled trip to visit the Queen Mother Memorial Chair during a visit to the visitors centre at the Castle of Mey, in Scotland.
Odd indeed that a family that spends most of the year dressed in shorts, bikinis and jodhpurs as they gambol in the sun should pass their holidays buttoned up in suits on a wet part of Scotland.
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Posted: 3rd, August 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (6)
In Pictures: The Queen And Knobs Jigsaw Onboard Hebridean Princess
HER Majesty The Queen is on the Hebridean Princess in Stornoway, holidaying around the Western Isles. Onboard the gin palace – playing games of Artculate, 1950s Shopping Basket (I’ll buy Devon!”) and doing the 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle – are assorted members of the Chatto family, Prince Andrew, Princess Beatrice, her sister Princess Eugenie, their dad Prince Andrew, not their mum and dad’s pimp Sarah Ferguson, a Margarita Armstrong-Jones, Princess Anne and everyone else who must make do before they jet off to the Caribbean, with the family used to own before people like him arrived…
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Posted: 24th, July 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Queen’s Garden Party Buckingham Palace
HER Majesty The Queen’s Garden Party at Buckingham Palace was terrific fun. Guests gathered in a horseshoe. The Queen wandered from hand to hand. They tell her what they do. She thanks them for coming and tells them how nice it is to see them. And back in the Palace, Prince Philip gazes from a window and wonders what would happen if he ran into the garden naked and played leapfrog with Prince Edward?
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Posted: 20th, July 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (8)
