Royal Family Category
The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
Pictures Of Prince William Playing Cricket In Bruern – To Thrill
HERE’S a gallery of Prince William playing cricket at Bruern Abbey in Bruern, Oxfordshire. The match was a beer match for the King’s Head Inn in Bledington. It’s not all polo, you know…
Posted: 17th, July 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince William And Harry Take Chakravarty World Cup: Pictures
WHAT’S Prince William been up since a palsied England were knocked out of the World Cup. Wills is president of the Football Association. Has he planning a new grassroots-level assault on the game?
Well, yes. Wills was investigating alternatives to football being the nation’s official sport at the Chakravarty Cup polo match at Beaufort Polo Club near Tetbury Gloucestershire. Prince William and his brother, Prince Harry received the match winning trophy.
Can polo be the national game? And can Rooney and dress up as panto horses to take polo to the common man?
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Posted: 10th, July 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Queen Escapes 7/11 Carnage In New York
HER Majesty Queen Elizabeth II addressed the General Assembly of the United Nations at the UN Headquarters in New York, following an eight day tour of Canada. She’s avoided being caught up in the 7/11 tragedy that has befallen the Guardian.
Along with a smiling Duke of Edinburgh, Elizabeth met Mayor of New York Michael Bloomberg at the British Garden at Hanover Square. She picked a few flowers and laid a wreath at the site of the World Trade Centre.
Then she settled Prince Harry’s bar tab, took a call from Prince Charles about whether or she’d offset her flight by taking shallower breaths and thought about heading home…
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Posted: 7th, July 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (3)
Queen Elizabeth Gives Stephen Harper The Look: Pictures
QUEEN Elizabeth II was at Pinewood Studios in Toronto, Canada, where she watched a 3D version of 1812. In dark glasses, Her Majesty and her Duke of Edinburgh bristled with a refined menace. Queen Elizabeth then pulled a face when listening to a speech by Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, during a visit to Government House, Winnipeg, she had reserved for use when catching Sarah Ferguson begging the corgis for scraps…
In other news:
The monarchy now costs us just 62p each after its annual costs were cut by £3.3million – or 7.9 per cent – to £38.2million. ‘The Royal Household is acutely aware of the difficult economic climate and took early action,’ said Sir Alan Reid, Keeper of the Privy Purse.
Just 62p to keep Tony Blair off the throne. Bargain.
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Posted: 5th, July 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (12)
The Queen, The Duke And The Canada Dancing Girls – In Pictures
HER Majesty the Queen is in Canada. The Duke of Edinburgh is also there. They get to meet lots of soldiers and knobs and, occasionally, a local. The media follows. And picture 4 gives you an idea of what life is like for a hack on the gand tour. Pictures of the Queen’s tour of Canada now follow:
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Posted: 2nd, July 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Harry Falls Off Polo Horse In New York: In Pictures
ENGLAND are steamrolled by Germany in the World Cup making it ok to dislike John Terry and Ashley Cole once more and the nation sports fans turn to Hickstead the 3rd annual Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic on Governors Island in New York City, where Prince Harry carries all before him. Harry cannot fail. Unless he falls off his horse and lands hard on his arse and everyone laughs…
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Posted: 27th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Prince Harry Fires West Point And Breaks The New York Met
PRINCE Harry is not just any smoking, drinking youth with maternal-abandonment issues and a gun. He is a special case. Prince Harry Baseball Cap is in the US. He’s fired live rounds at West Point Military Academy in New York State. Harry hit at least two of the pop-up targets as he covered the right flank and managed to avoid shooting any civilians. Then harry went to the New York Mets stadium, ahead of this evening’s match between the Minnesota Twins and the New York Mets. He threw a baseball with a tad of off-break. Then it was off to Bedfordshire – Or maybe Bedford, New York, which does a lovely Flaming Ferrari…
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Posted: 26th, June 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Harry And Chelsy Davy Break-Up In Photos
CHELSY Davy was, to some, always more Queen Vic Windsor than Royalty, and the grim news is that she and Prince Harry are over.
The News of the World says Chelsy is heading back to South Africa – alone. She tells a pal:
“We’re finished. This is a new beginning for me. I want to start my career in South Africa where I plan to spend the rest of my life. I don’t want to live in Britain.”
Did Britain come between them? Can’t Prince Harry Baseball Cap relocate? Can Great Britain not invade a country and make Harry its ruler? Let’s invade Spain. For Harry…
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Posted: 20th, June 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2)
In Pictures: David Beckham, Prince William And Prince Harry’s Blind Date
WHEN England team ambassador David Beckham, Prince William and Prince Harry met at an FA reception at the Saxon Hotel in Johannesburg, it was hard to be cynical. The three looked good. It looked a like a game of Blind Date, the telly show in which Cilla Black would let some girl or guy pick a date from three hopefuls. Although, if you could only hear, would you pick squeaky Day-vid Beckham? Or would you care..?
In other World Cup news: England shocked that Wayne Rooney did NOT swear at the TV.
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Posted: 20th, June 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)
Kate Middleton ‘Pregnant’: Prince William Shoots And Scores: Pictures
KATE Middleton is pregnant. So says Star magazine, which claims Middle-class is pregnant by Prince William. And – get this – Kate being pregnant has meant the wedding being delayed. Years from now a toothy cake frosting factory worker will step forward, lush a hand through their mop of jet black hair and claim to be Dolce Windsor. For now, however, Will takes the bad news with a stiff upper lip and a football struck hard and low to his left. He shoots. He impregnates! Unless she isn’t pregnant, in which case, carry on…
Update: A palace spokesperson tells People magazine, the story is “complete nonsense“.
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (5)
Prince Harry And William In Botswana: Day 2 Pictures
PRINCE Harry and Prince William joined forces with park manager Neil Whitson to stroke a cheetah during a visit to the Mokoloda Nature Reserve in Gabarone, Botswana. They then stroked a snake. And Harry pulled a face that should quash any rumours about Charles being his dad. For Queen and country…
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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comments (5)
In Pictures: Prince Harry Invades Botswana
WHILE Prince William was wearing the Order of The Garter and uncle Prince Edward was looking useful (disgusting pictures), Prince Harry was making inroads in Botswana. Wills is on his way, but Harry is the star attraction. Harry met the dancing girls. Harry had the champers.
Harry was in Gaborone, at the British High Commissioner’s residence to mark the Queen’s official birthday. Says Harry.
“As the High Commissioner said, Botswana is a country very close to my heart.”
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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
In Pictures: Useful Prince Edward And The Order Of The Garter ‘Stumble’
THE Order of the Garter saw Queen Elizabeth II and The Duke of Edinburgh attend the Order of the Garter service at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle, Windsor. They then went on The Order of the Garter Service procession, before having an Order of the Garter Tea, an Order of the Garter pint and Order of Garter Drunken Brawl. Get a load of The Duke of Wellington, Arthur Valerian Wellesley, getting “assistance” after he “stumbled” on the chapel steps. Get a load of Prince Edward making himself really useful by “offering assistance” with a smile… (Pictures 4 and 6).
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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Prince Charles Flies In the Face Of Global Warming
HAVING made his way on foot (taking care to hold his breath every third step to keep carbon emissions down) the Prince of Wales, Prince Charles, is arrived in Indonesia.
His mission: to promote his Rainforest Project.
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Posted: 4th, November 2008 | In: Reviews, Royal Family | Comments (8)
Barack Obama Will Die Like Princess Diana
BARACK is Princess Diana.
And you know what happened to her…
The ascension of Barack Obama has laid bare the stunning extent of our own softening, the distance we’ve traveled from the people we once were.
It’s the Barack Obama death cult…
(Image: Beau Bo D’Or)
Princess Diana On A Horse And The Elephant In The Room
Posted: 24th, October 2008 | In: Politicians, Royal Family | Comments (9)
United In Grief: Jorg Haider And Princess Diana Were Two Of A Kind
SAYS Volkswagen spokesman Peter Thul on the death of Jorg Haider (aka Joerge Haider):
“Many things bring to mind Lady Diana’s death.”
First of all , she was a Princess – the Peoples’ Princess; a Princess of Hearts; Our Lady Of the Immaculate Handbag. Indeed, at the time of his car crash Haider was rumoured to be romancing a Muslim man in his thirties, the son of an immigrant shop worker.
Also:
- Haider was blonde and blue eyed
He adored dogs
Posted: 18th, October 2008 | In: Politicians, Royal Family | Comment (1)
GMTV In Prince Andrew Suicide Bomb Horror
TANIA Bryer is a suicide bomber.
After leaving the GMTV weather panel, she has appeared in numerous photospreads with her wonderful husband and gorgeous/talented/blonder-than-yours children; and appeared in photospreads without her wonderful ex-husband and beautiful/stunning/creative children.
Following that lot is no easy thing, and the fear is the she has seen the coverage suicide bombers get and thought, “Yes, I’ll have some of that.”
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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Royal Family | Comment
Di Another Day: Kate Middleton’s Car Phone
CALL the Celebrity Police Force. But we cannot. They are without a head, and the celeb’s face may not adorn the halls of Scotland Yard posing with a young CPC.
As Sun Page 3 stunna Keeley says: “Surely Kate can afford a hands-free kit… or she could get Wills to buy her one.” On a squaddies wage… No chance.
The Sun’s front-page reveals that Kate Middleton has been spotted driving a car while talking on a mobile telephone.
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Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Sarah Palin At Princess Diana Crash Scene
SARAH Palin is related to Princess Diana. Will Diana endorse Palin and be the October Surprise? Will Diana forgive Palin for that fateful night; or will she thank her for making good her removal to the fabled Sixth Floor of Harvey Nichols?
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Posted: 11th, October 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians, Royal Family | Comments (13)
The Ice Princess: Sarah Palin And Princess Diana Match Up
SARAH Palin is distantly related to the late Princess Diana, says the Daily Mail.
Palin and the sole inhabitant of the fabled Six Floor of Harvey Nichols are princess are tenth cousins.
Anorak suspected as much when Palin began to talk through her fringe and when confronted with tough question cocked her head and looked cute.
So how similar are they?
Sarah Palin
Age: 44
Languages: Language
Sport: Hunting
View: Can see Russia
Favourite Dish: Pig in lipstick
Weakness: Economic policy
Romance: On Her Todd
Princess Diana
Age: …shall not whither her
Languages: Pret a porter
Sport: Hunted
View: Can see Scotch Corner Wool House, half the bar at the Mandarin Oriental and the bathroom of Flat 3b, 132 Sloane Avenue
Favourite Dish: Queen of hearts
Weakness: Stairs
Romance: Never on her todd
Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Politicians, Royal Family | Comments (9)
Royal Houses And Mansions For Immigrants
DANNI “cannot believe it’s possible to get a £1.2 million mansion on state benefits.”
Danni appears on the Sun’s Page 3, responding to the front-page news, “Mother of all council houses”, the tale of the mum-of-seven, Afghan refugee who lives in a £1.2 mansion in Acton.
Readers learn that taxpayer Toorpakai Saindi’s residence causes the local council to pay her landlord £12,458 a month in rent.
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Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Reviews, Royal Family | Comments (3)
Prelude To Paedophilia: Tea With The Queen Mum
PAEDOPHILIA is an evil, abhorrent sickness. And Paul Kidd is said to have run a “paedophile ring while serving the Royal Family”.
The Star has the news, and possibly the greatest tabloid line of all time:
“Bachelor Paul Kidd, 55, groomed at least one victim for sex by talking him for tea with the Queen Mum.”
The QM is no longer around to defend herself, having been used for kindling some years back. But even so…
Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (9)
Princess Diana’s Engagement Blouse And Wedding Knickers For Sale
PRINCESS Diana’s “engagement blouse” is to go under the hammer.
Not literally, although sending shards of the fabric to all corners of the world would surely be a gesture of great spiritual meaning. For such reasons, a miniature of the Diana wedding dress made from the greater wedding dress material is to also up for sale. More miniatures may be in the offing.
The Telegraph says the engagement blouse is being put up for sale by Elizabeth Emanuel, who tells us:
“It is sad, especially for me, but I don’t know what to do with them … There comes a point where it is so expensive to store.”
Yes, what with property prices so high in London, the space occupied by a blouse can go for as much £3million to £4million.
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Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Royal Family | Comments (22)
Prince Edward Finds Work On Queen’s New Jet
ONE day on from the Daily Star’s shocker:
“The Queen is skint and will run out of cash in just three years time..The news follows Playboy boss Hugh Hefner laying off his bunnies”
And the Sun leads with:
“AIR FORCE ONE – Queen to buy £7milion private jet – Her Majesty, who currently shares the use of VIP flights with Government ministers and military chiefs, has taken a close personal interest in the new jet’s design.”
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Posted: 27th, September 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (8)
Princess Diana On A Horse And The Elephant In The Room
IT’S her. It’s Princess Diana on the front-page of the Express. Today Diana is wearing a pearl chocker, pearl earrings and a lilac collar.
This is Diana’s letter-writing outfit du jour. And the Express has peeked at her “revealing letters to nanny”.
“HOW DIANA CONFESSED IN LETTERS: WHEN I DANCE I LOOK LIKE AN ELEPHANT.”
Is that an elephant dancing, or just an elephant in a sequined dress and heels? And when did Diana see either vision, at a party, perhaps, for Prince Edward’s 21st?
Nanny is Mary Clarke, who is selling off her Diana Letters to the highest bidder. The letters are nothing short of sensational.
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Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment
