manchester united Category
Manchester United football club news, Manchester United transfers, Premier League
Manchester United Balls: Tom Cleverley Trying To Board The England Team Plane
MANCHESTER United Balls: Tom Cleverley trying to board the England team plane
Tom Cleverley trying to board the England team plane pic.twitter.com/aIaTdvM7x3
— Pie Sports Booze (@piesportsbooze) June 1, 2014
Just a joke, of course. And a funnier one than would-be Norman Wisdom impersonator Simon Brodkin being dragged away by the suits:
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Posted: 2nd, June 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Fabregas Rejoins Arsenal Who Then Sell Him To Liverpool To Spite Manchester City
TRANSFER Balls looks at Barcelona’s Cesc Fabregas’ summer in the news media. Can he fill space to deadline? What utter balls can he news media say of the player?
Fabregas’ suitors have already been told that it will take £45million to get him…
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Posted: 1st, June 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)
Transfer Balls: Manchester United, Arsenal Get Juve’s Alexis Sanchez As Liverpool Prepare Bid
TRANSFER Balls: The contest in the national Press is to link every big English team with Barcelona’s Alexis Sanchez.
Chelsea, Liverpool and Man Utd target Alexis Sanchez
SNAPPED: Barcelona ace Alexis Sanchez dons a Manchester United shirt! ALEXIS SANCHEZ is pictured for the first time in a Manchester United shirt – but it’s only a Starsport impression!
May 10, Daily Mirror:
Wenger has been tipped off the Chile international will be sold this summer and is set for a £20million tug-of-war with Juventus
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Posted: 30th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sign Miranda In Time For A Deadline
TRANSFER Balls: Have Manchester United signed Miranda? The Daily Mail says they have:
United trigger £24m release clause for Miranda, as reports in Spain say Atletico defender has agreed four-year deal and is looking at schools.
Or as the Mail’s Ian Ladyman puts it on twitter:
The #MUFC Miranda link would appear to be a load of old guff. Another one for the cutting room floor.
That would be the cutting room floor where the Mail sources its scoops?
Posted: 29th, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Hated Malcolm Glazer Dies A Buccaneers Hero
MANCHESTER United owner Malcolm Glazer has died. he was 85. On the club’s website there is not a word on the man who oversaw five league titles and Champions’ League triumph. But on the website of another club he owns, the Tampa bay Buccaneers, there is a eulogy:
Malcolm Glazer, owner of the Buccaneers since 1995, passed away on Wednesday at the age of 85…A pioneering thinker, Glazer rebuilt the Buccaneers into a model franchise and a Super Bowl winner [see above photo].
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Posted: 28th, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester United And Arsenal Make Fabregas Hungry
TRANSFER Balls: Today we look at how the Press have been talking about Cesc Fabregas.
Fabregas’ suitors have already been told that it will take £45million to get him…
Speculation over midfielder leaving Barcelona fuelled as star is left out of club’s kit launch
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Posted: 27th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Schweinsteiger Becomes Manchester United’s Fourth Bayern Munich Capture
HOT on the heels of Mike McGrath’s scoop that Bayern Munich were keen to sell Arjen Robben to Manchester United (no, they’re not), comes today’s Sun sensation:
LOUIS VAN GAAL will turn to Bastian Schweinsteiger to kick-start his Manchester United revolution.
That’s the Bayern Munich star, who will leave the best side in his native Germany to play for an English team that failed to reach the Champions’ League. Wow! Go on:
Van Gaal has given his new club a list of targets including the German as he looks to raid Bayern Munich.
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Posted: 25th, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Robben Follows Kroos To Manchester United On A Golden Turd
IT’S too early award the Golden Turd Cup for the most bullshit transfer story of the season. But the Daily Mail’s Chris Wheeler is going to be a hard scribe to beat. On May 21, Wheeler announced that Manchester United had signed Toni Kroos and were in for his Bayern Munich teammate Arjen Robben:
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Posted: 24th, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer Balls: Toni Kroos Snubs Manchester United After Signing For Them
WHAT really happened with the Toni Kroos to Manchester United story?
Today the Sun says that the Bayern Munich star has “snubbed” Manchester United:
So. Kroos turned down United.
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Posted: 23rd, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)
Transfer Balls: Toni Kroos Agrees To Join Manchester United And Then Doesn’t
SO. Is Toni Kroos going to Manchester United? Just two days ago the Daily Express stated that the deal to take the German star from Bayern Munich to United had been done.
It was a fact. We had read it in the Express:
MANCHESTER UNITED have agreed a deal with Bayern Munich for attacker Toni Kroos
Should cynics think the Express‘ scoop utter balls, we pointed you to Express editor Hugh Whittow’s message to the Leveson Inquiry:
“we don’t twist anything. We just present the news of the day.”
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Posted: 23rd, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Manchester United Balls: Release The Van Gaal Journobots
Ajax Manager Louis Van Gaal talks to the press. Date: 01/11/1995
DUTCH newspaper NRC have called on their many years’ experience of treading on eggshells around the notoriously volatile Louis van Gaal in press conferences to provide their British colleagues with ten golden rules to follow when interviewing the new Manchester United manager to avoid having their danglies torn off…
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Posted: 22nd, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Toni Kroos Signed For David Moyes But Stayed At Bayern
YESTERDAY, the Daily Express told its readers that Toni Kroos had signed for Manchester United. That story was picked up all over the mainstream media. All the story lacked to make it ring true was: a quote from the player or his agent; a fee; a statement from either club, one of which trades on the New York Stock Exchange, where investors might be interested in what would be a multi-million dollar investment; and any named person willing to go on the record to corroborate the Express‘ scoop.
Amongst the paper of record repeating the Express’ ball was the Daily Mirror, which reported “United have agreed deal in principle with Bayern for midfielder Toni Kroos”.
One day on, and the Mirror reports:
Man United target Toni Kroos will NOT be offered improved contract at Bayern, hints club president
Well, no. He’s already agreed a deal with United. Right? The Mirror then adds:
The German international is a long-term target for the Red Devils, and is unlikely to get the deal he wants from the Bundesliga champions
Unlikely? What happened to “won’t”?
Want to hear what Bayern president Karl Hopfner told German magazine Kicker? Here goes:
“Kroos is under contract until 2015. There will certainly be more talks. But eventually the player has to say what he wants. We will not overstep certain financial limits.”
So. Kroos remains a Bayern Munich player. Or as the Mail says today:
A £20million deal for Kroos was agreed when David Moyes was still in charge at Old Trafford and his successor, former Bayern coach Louis van Gaal, has said the move can go ahead.
Such are the facts in the season of transfer balls…
Posted: 22nd, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Toni Kroos Agrees A Deal Then Discusses It Later
Bayern’s Toni Kroos lifts the trophy on the town hall balcony after winning the German Soccer Championship after the season’s last home game between FC Bayern Munich and VfB Stuttgart, in Munich, southern Germany, Saturday, May 10, 2014. (AP Photo/Matthias Schrader)
IN today’s instalment of Transfer Balls, the Express says Manchester United have bought Bayern Munich’s Tony Kroos. The headline states:
MANCHESTER UNITED have agreed a deal with Bayern Munich for attacker Toni Kroos
And it’s all true because in January 2012, Express editor Hugh Whittow told the Leveson Inquiry:
“we don’t twist anything. We just present the news of the day.”
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Posted: 21st, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)
Manchester United Balls: Ryan Giggs Plays For Salford Boys
MAY 2 1985: Manchester United great Ryan Giggs turns out for the Salford Boys team:
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Posted: 19th, May 2014 | In: Flashback, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Ryan Giggs Plays For Manchester City Boys In 1989
MAY 2 1989: Ryan Giggs stars for Manchester City Boys at the English schools trophy final:
Posted: 19th, May 2014 | In: Flashback, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United And Maybe Man City And Chelsea All Get Benzema
TRANSFER Balls, with Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema.
The Telegraph, May 14:
Arsenal to launch £30m move for Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema
Will they get him? No!
Daily Star, May 14:
Liverpool favourites to land Karim Benzema as Arsenal prepare to re-sign £3.2m Carlos Vela
So. He’s off to Liverpool.
Daily Mirror, May 14:
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Posted: 15th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: US Fans Forced To Watch Red Devils On Science Fiction Channel
THE season is over for plucky Manchester United, who fought back away to earn a drawer against Southampton.
United’s American owners might have caught the game on that side of the Atlantic, where it was broadcast on the…SyFy channel, owned by NBC.
Why SyFy, when NBC also owns Chiller?
Chiller, the recently-launched network from NBCUniversal, is the only cable channel devoted to delivering viewers round-the-clock scares.
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Posted: 11th, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Bitter United Fans Fly Anti-Gerrard Banner Over Liverpool
MANCHESTER United fans are looking increasingly bitter and sad.To put the tin lid on a season where the club that for so long has held sway over English football fell to bits – and in which local rivals Manchester City won big – they flew a banner over Anfield.
As Liverpool fans and players watched the Premier League title they had looked well set to capture pass them by, overhead the message mocked Reds captain Steven Gerrard:
Surely, the sign should have read: “United 20 – Liverpool 18.”
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Posted: 11th, May 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer Balls: Adam Lallana Leaves Manchester United For Liverpool
IS Adam Lallana staying at Southampton? Let’s see what the experts are saying?
The Sun has an “exclusive”:
Kop in £20m bid for Lallana
The Liverpool fans in their famous stand have raised millions to buy the player? No. The story is:
LIVERPOOL have made a £20million swoop for Southampton midfielder Adam Lallana.
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Posted: 9th, May 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Paper Mistakes Harold From Neighbours For Louis Van Gaal
AND Manchester United’s next manager is… Harold Bishop, from the hit daytime telly show, Neighbours.
Spotters: @samcgray, colinfairley
Posted: 2nd, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: More What The Experts Said When David Moyes Was Made Manager
EPISODE 2 of what the experts said when David Moyes was made Manchester United manager:
Russell Brand, The Guardian, May 21 2013:
This is why the emphasis at Old Trafford is on continuity rather than revolution, with Moyes as Bob Paisley and Scotland as some giant, rugged Anfield boot-room. Ferguson’s potency must be bestowed, a hereditary successor appointed. If there could be a son selected from those available it would not be Darren Ferguson schooled at The Posh but David Moyes, stern and stoic, hewn if not from the same DNA, then the same rock, the same nation, the same mythic paradigm. Sir Alex has urged his followers not to call him Boss, to reserve that moniker for Moyes. He has appointed and anointed, given unto them his son, if not his flesh, his likeness.
Russell Brand, The Guardian, May 23 2014:
Ferguson when he was asked to nominate a successor, the nearest approximation of an Anfield boot-room appointment considered instead to be the translucent Moyes, a pale imitation of himself, so pale in fact his impotent palpitations could be witnessed on a vascular level as United throbbed to a final flaccid loss at Goodison Park. Moyes, a pale imitation of himself, so pale in fact his impotent palpitations could be witnessed on a vascular level as United throbbed to a final flaccid loss at Goodison Park.
Jeremy Cross, Daily Star, Feb 27, 2014:
EXCLUSIVE: Manchester United boss David Moyes will not be leaving Old Trafford – DAVID MOYES will not be sacked as Manchester United boss – despite mounting speculation that he is set to leave Old Trafford.
The Sun, May 10, 2013:
The passion and determination that were the hallmarks of Moyes’s 11 years at Everton make him the outstanding candidate”
And the pick of the bunch:
Barney Ronay, the Guardian, October 4, 2013:
“And yet for all this Moyes is an excellent manager who could probably succeed anywhere with the right backing. He can even afford to tread water a little while he finds his voice…”
Barney Ronay, The Guardian, April 22, 2014:
Farewell, then, David Moyes. You made some mistakes as Manchester United manager. But none of them, let’s face it, as gapingly inept as the decision to appoint you Manchester United manager in the first place… In the end Moyes’s greatest failing during the last 10 months was simply to walk into Old Trafford and act like David Moyes…
Posted: 30th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Balls: Statue To Manchester United’s Messiah Moyes Erected Outside Anfield
THE wags from a betting firm erected a stature to forcibly retired Manchester United manager David Moyes outside Liverpool’s Anfield ground.
Unless it is The Chosen One touting for spare change as a living statue?
Anyhow, United have moved on. Louis Van Gaal is now the name on fans’ lips:
“Come on Louis Van Gaal, play like Moyes’ gals”
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Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)
Manchester United Balls: Lothario Ryan Giggs Tears You Apart – The Pick Of The Old Trafford Banners
RYAN Giggs is the manager of Manchester United. What say the fans of the lothario (surely sick love rat? – ed) now at the helm?
Wear the mask and pull the birds
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Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Louis van Gaal Signs 3-Year Deal At Manchester United Without United Knowing
HAVE Manchester United made Louis van Gaal the new manager?
The De Telegraaf newspaper in Holland claim the man has singed a three-year deal. And Patrick Kluivert will be his assistant.
The British Press then report the news:
Yes.
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Posted: 26th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
