manchester united Category
Manchester United football club news, Manchester United transfers, Premier League
Manchester United Balls: Adrian Durham’s Fight With A Paper Bag
ADRIAN Durham is the TalkSport opinion baiter with a column to fill to deadline for the Daily Mail. This week, Durham comes up with a system whereby big teams automatically get into the Champions’ League.
United BELONG in the Champions League and if they finish fifth or sixth they should snub Europa… it’s a tournament for losers
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Posted: 11th, March 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Balls: Manchester United Pay £7m Over Asking Price For Thomas Vermaelen
ARSENAL Balls: The Sun leads with an “exclusive” on “Arsenal misfit” Thomas Vermaelen.
DAVID MOYES has targeted Arsenal misfit Thomas Vermaelen to replace Manchester United hero Nemanja Vidic. The Belgian central defender is no longer a regular at the Emirates, but the Gunners would still demand a £12million fee from one of their rivals.
He is a close pal of Robin van Persie and the pair share the same agent in Kees Vos.
Why Arsenal would sell another captain to a rival side – and why the Belgian would want to play for an average United team from which Van Persie might well depart in the summer – is a mute point for the Sun’s Charlie Wyett. As is the news that his exclusive is that the player said back in 2012:
“I have no intention of leaving this club. I feel at home in London and I feel that I have become a real Gunner. Arsenal is my club. In my eyes, they belong to the absolute elite of European top clubs. When I was young, I dreamed of playing for Ajax and Arsenal. Both dreams have come true.”
In November 2013, he said:
“I keep reading stories that I want to leave. But that’s not the case.”
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Posted: 9th, March 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Fans Not Buying Seats For Olympiacos Banned From Watching Manchester City Derby
MANCHESTER United have sent this letter to their fans. It states:
Transcript:
Dear…
The deadline to buy your seat for Olympiacos FC is Wednesday 26th February 2014 at 8pm. Please note that not buying this ticket will result in your Season Ticket being suspended for the Manchester City game. We look forward to hearing from your shortly.
You’ve got to like the menace of that last line.
Modern football really is all about greed.
Posted: 27th, February 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comments (3)
Manchester United Head To Turkey To Play, Er, Olympiacos
HANDS up Manchester United fans who knew where Olympiacos play their home matches? You don’t have to be all the precise, just naming the country will do.
Those of you who get your news from the Daily Express, hard cheese.
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Posted: 24th, February 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Lookalikes: Manchester United Fan Mick Hucknall Is Charlie Drake
WATCHING Manchester United’s Premier League match with (there’s only one ‘f’ in) Fulham, Anorak was struck by a figure in the crowd. Seated alongside Sir Alex Ferguson was flame-haired crooner Mick Hucknall. We couldn’t help but notice that Hucknall looks a lot like the late comedian Charlie Drake. His catchphrase was ‘Hello, my darlings’. It’s known that Hucknall has a way with the women, too. Can they be related?
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Posted: 10th, February 2014 | In: Celebrities, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Dinnerladies For David Moyes: A Look At The Manchester United Manager As Stoke City Win
DAVID Moyes Watch: The current Manchester United manager is having a torrid time. Today his Red Devils lost to mighty Stock City, managed by former Untied player Mark Hughes. The more we looked, the more we noticed that Moyes not only resembles Hugh Laurie; he looks a lot like Thelma Barlow, who played Coronation Street’s soft-centred Mavis Riley and then one of Victoria Wood’s Dinnerladies. Someone get him a tabard:
Hughes eyes Moyes’ job
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Posted: 1st, February 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Laugh-In: Chelsea Fans Discuss Players Who Don’t Exist – Go Blues
MANCHESTER United fans and TalkSPORT’s Andrew Ryan took a leaf from Jimmy Kimmel’s joke book and talked with Chelsea fans outside Stamford Bridge about a few of the club’s rumoured January transfer targets. Only, none of the players he mentions exits. He made them up. Hilarity ensures.
Old Chelsea fans who can remember Kerry Dixon’s goalscoring exploits and are now priced out of the ground by the rugby-loving Henrys and American bankers can laugh along.
Go Blues!
Posted: 24th, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Moyes Is ‘Bold’ To Buy Chelsea’s Best Player
IT looks a lot like Juan Mata – Chelsea’s Player of the season for the past two seasons – is on his way to Manchester United for a club-record fee. Oliver Holt is a Manchester United fan writing for the Daily Mirror. He reaches the kind of audience most fans can only dream of. He says that if Moyes flops at United “No one will remember 11 years of worthy over-achievement at Everton”. Everton fans might.
Failure for Moyes and “he knows that people will come to him, deep into his old age, and ask him about Manchester United, and he will look back in anger.”
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Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Manager David Moyes Reveals His 10 Tips For Penalty Success
WHEN Manchester United lost a penalty shoot-out to Sunderland in last night’s League Cup semi-final, we remembered a 2010 article he wrote for the Times:
David Moyes: How to win a penalty shootout
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Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Mini Cab For Moyes: A Look At The Manager’s Face As Manchester United Lose To Sunderland
DAVID Moyes is under pressure. The new Manchester United manager has seen his side slip to a home defeat by Sunderland. How did he react? Like this:
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Posted: 22nd, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Manchester United Balls: After Mata, United Will Raid Man City, Newcastle, Spours, Everton and Southampton
WHY are Manchester United set to buy Juan Mata from Chelsea? Because Terry Venables told them to. Says Terry Venables in the Sun:
ON Saturday, I urged David Moyes to make a move for Chelsea’s Juan Mata. Now it looks like he has listened to my advice and is ready to clinch a £40million deal for the Spaniard.
Terry now says Untied should buy: Yaya Toure (amn City), Tim Krul, Cheick Tiote, Yohan Cabaye (all Newcastle), Adam Lallana, Jay Rodriguez, Luke Shaw (all Southampton), Phil Jagielka, Leighton Baines (both Everton), Paulinho, Mousa Dembele (both Spurs) Stevan Jovetic away from Manchester City?
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Posted: 22nd, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Revealed: Manchester United’s Chris Smalling Is A Jihadi Pretending To Be A Footballer
MANCHESTER United defender Chris Smalling might be a jihadi. Last night, Smalling and his girlfriend hosted a private fancy dress party to celebrate Christmas and their respective birthdays. Smalling came as ‘The Jagerbomber’. He was the jihadi with Red Bull and Jagermeister cans and bottles strapped to his vestments.
Can it be that in the privacy of his own home, Smalling relaxes in his more usual attire as an Islamist hellbent on the destruction of the West? Is he plotting to bomb Old Trafford, owned by those infidel Jews in partnership with their traditional bedfellow, the Red Devil?
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Posted: 9th, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Moyes Has £450m To Spend, Experts Say
HOW much money has Manchester Untied’s David to spend on boosting his failing team?
The Sun: “MANCHESTER UNITED’S owners have told David Moyes: Splash the cash. Joel Glazer and his family will give boss Moyes a £50million war chest”
Daily Mirror: “DAVID MOYES has around £100million to salvage Manchester United’s season, but has been told not to spend it on ‘quick fixes'”
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Posted: 8th, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Mini Cab For Moyes: A Look At The Manchester United Manager’s Expressions As The Red Devils Lost To Swansea
MINI Cab For Moyes: A Look At The Manchester United Manager’s Expression As The Red Devils Lost To Spurs Swansea:
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Posted: 5th, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Taxi For Moyes: A Look At The Manchester United Manager’s Expression As The Red Devils Lost To Spurs
DAVID Moyes is under pressure. The new Manchester United manager has seen his side slip to a 1-2 home defeat by Spurs. How did he react? Like this:
TAXI!
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Posted: 1st, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Zlatan Ibrahimovic To Bring Moyes Harmony
THE Daily Robbie Savage: Today Savage uses his insight to tell Daily Mirror readers what David Moyes need do to make Manchester United great:
Why David Moyes must rip up this team and sign Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Buy the Swede as a new Cantona plus Ross Barkley, Adam Lallana and Luke Shaw, tie down Wayne Rooney and build the back four around Phil Jones.
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Posted: 13th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: Gloomy Fans Sing Up For Moyes’ ‘Fergie’s Boys’
HOW was Manchester United’s match at Old Trafford last night? Well, the Red Devils won their Champions’ League match. Shakhtar Donetsk
United’s supporters continue to give Moyes their full backing, both vocally and with banners such as the one that read: “Believe in yourself Moyes, the rest will follow.” The manager was also backed by a rendition of “Come on David Moyes, play like Fergie’s boys” and “David Moyes’s red and white army”. He can at least count on the fans as he attempts to arrest United’s slump.
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Posted: 11th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester United And The Bruno Gomes ‘Snub’
TRANSFER Balls: Did Manchester Untied get snubbed by Brazilian wonderkid (it says here) Bruno Gomes? The Daily Mail seems to think so. Hell, it says so:
He’s met Fergie and the players, taken a tour of Old Trafford and posed wearing the shirt… but Brazilian teenager Bruno Gomes is the latest star to snub United move
The silly sod. United are huge. Adam Crafton (as in craft on a story to a headline or photo) adds:
Manchester United have missed out on signing long-term target Bruno Gomes, after the striker declared that he has agreed to join Internacional.
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Posted: 10th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United and Chelsea Balls: BBC And The Sun Portray Mourinho And Moyes As Blithering Idiots
FOOTBALL reporting is all about conjuring a story from pretty much nothing. In certain hands it’s all about extremes.
On Saturday, the BBC reported on Manchester United’s home defeat to Newcastle United. News was that Man United’s David Moyes was saying his team could still win the Premier League:
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Posted: 9th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
A Manchester United Defeat Still Leads The Sports Pages
MANCHESTER United were beaten by Newcastle Untied in the Premier League on the same day that Liverpool moved into second spot, Stoke scored three to beat Chelsea and an injury ravaged Southampton draw with big-spending Manchester City.
And all the papers lead with Manchester United and their manager David Moyes. It’s not all over for United, who continue to set the news agenda. The club’s fans will know the game’s up when defeats are no longer the nations’s lead football story:
The Sunday People leads with a picture of Moyes and news that Luis Suarez plays for Uruguay.
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Posted: 8th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United And Everton Balls: Moyes Says He Created Martinez’s ‘Managerless’ Everton
BEFORE Everton defeated Manchester United at Old Trafford, David Moyes said this about the Toffees’ new manger Roberto Martinez:
“He is doing a very good job..
He is.
“He has very good players there.”
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Posted: 5th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Spurs Fan Sexually Assaults Manchester United’s Partrice Evra
IN this video a Spurs fans frots Manchester United’s Patrice Evra, who is doing his infamous impression of a lap-dancer:
Posted: 3rd, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Manchester United: In 1992 David Beckham Tossed Off Over Clayton Blackmore
PST! Fancy seeing the Class of ’92, the film about Fergie’s Fledglings at Manchester United? The kids will soon be aping Scholsey, Giggsy and Butt as they go on jinking runs to the ice-cream stand. They might even do a Beckham and jizz on a photo of Manchester United’s Clayton Blackmore (pictured with shaggy perm above).
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Posted: 29th, November 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: More Expertise From Liverpool’s Souness
HAVING dealt with Arsenal being the inferior of Spurs, Liverpool legend and football expert head Graeme Souness turned his attention to Manchester United’s Champions’ League match against Bayer Leverkusen:
“They will go to Germany with the mindset of not getting beat – and that’s a strange attitude for Manchester United because their approach under Sir Alex Ferguson was to try to win every game. I expect them to be cute and cagey against a Leverkusen team who are second in the Bundesliga after beating Hertha Berlin at the weekend. This will not be an easy game for Man United and I am very interested to see their mental approach.”
Manchester Untied won 5-0.
Posted: 28th, November 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
The World’s Most Hardcore Manchester United Fan
AND the world’s most hardcore Manchester United fan is…
Posted: 25th, November 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
