Ajax Fans Pay Tribute To Paris Hilton

TO Amsterdam, where Ajax are hosting PSG in the Champions’ League. The Dutch fans display a banner declaring “The only Paris we like made a xxx tape”.

PSG did not wipe the floor with Ajax. The game ended 1-1.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, September 2014 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Chelsea Balls: Is Badge-Kissing Cesc Fabregas The Most Fickle Man In Football?

GOOD old Cesc Fabregas. He’s the Spanish footballer with Barcelona “DNA”, Arsenal in his heart and Barcelona in his blood. He’s Cesc Fabregas, the the self-declared Arsenal fan (“I will always be an Arsenal fan”), who agitated for a move to Barcelona – who said “my whole family are Barcelona supporters”; who said in 2011, “If some day I leave Arsenal it will never be to sign for another English team. I’m very sure”.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Arsenal Sign Swansea’s Wilfried Bony For Less Than Spurs And Liverpool Bought Him For

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express reveals that Liverpool, Arsenal and Tottenham are in for “£19m target Wilfried Bony”. The headline ends a little esoterically: “CONFIRMS interest.”

Anorak

Posted: 17th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, Sports, Spurs | Comment (1)

Transfer Balls: ‘PSG Goalkeeper’ Invites Manchester United Fans To Plunder Paris

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express continues to be rich source for utter drivel presented as rumour-based fact.

Today, the paper tells readers that Paris Saint-Germain goalkeeper has “risked the wrath of United fans by suggesting he wasn’t sad to see Angel Di Maria move to Manchester”.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United’s Eamon Dunphy & Leeds United’s John Giles Star In Weird Dairy Milk Advert (With Apologies To Arsenal’s Lim Brady)

JOHNNY Giles, memorably of Leeds United, and former Manchester United player Eamon Dunphy are now TV pundits in Ireland. The duo have been working for Cadbury’s Dairy Milk, extolloing the benefits of a diet of sugar and fat in a budding sportsman’s diet.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, September 2014 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment

Manchester United: Wayne Rooney Wants To Emulate Real Madrid’s Raul

MANCHESTER United captain Wayne Rooney has told the club’s TV station that he wants to play at Old Trafford for ages.

“I hope I can do 15 years. I’ve just signed a new long-term deal and hopefully I’ll be looking back on 15 years in five years time.”

Does anyone else think at 33-years-old Rooney will still be a Manchester Untied’s striker?

Anorak

Posted: 17th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Arsenal Balls: ‘Danny Welbeck’s Feet Are In The Wrong Place’

Arsenal’s goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny lifts the ball after Dortmund’s Ciro Immobile, scored his side’s opening goal during the Champions League group D soccer match between Borussia Dortmund and Arsenal in Dortmund, Germany, Tuesday, Sept.16, 2014. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner)

ARSENAL were out-thought, outfought and outplayed in Borussia Dortmund. They were also out-scored, losing 2-0.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Rio Ferdinand Lends Ronaldo His Hotpants

IT’S Day three of the Sun’s serialisation of former Manchester United player Rio Ferdinand’s autoibiography. Having dealt with the John Terry racism disastre and David Moyes’ disgust at low-fat chips, Rio turns to “banter”.

He notes:

Anything at all that sticks out about someone becomes a thing you tease them over.

Anything? Well, it’s about context, isn’t it. It’s about pressing buttons and getting a rise. But it’s got it’s limits. Does the player comment on the other one’s skin tones, hair, girlfiend’s figure or race? The footballing authorities have clamped down on anything racist, homophobic, xenophobic, anti-Semitic, misogynistic and anti-religious. So Spurs fans calling themselves ‘Yids’ is no longer banter but racist. Glasgow Celtic and Rangers fans singing sectarian tunes are not bantering but fomenting a riot.

The authorities make no effort to separate words from intent.

So. Wht did Rio think it was ok to say? Well, he made fun of Wayne Rooney’s hair. And:

When Cristiano Ronaldo wore tight jeans we used to destroy him: “We can see the veins in your b******s, what’s going on?” But he would laugh and come back and say: “You English guys don’t know fashion, what are you talking about?”

Anorak

Posted: 16th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Cristiano Ronaldo Finds £500,000 Reasons To Love Manchester United

TRANSFER Balls: The Mirror and Express leads with news that Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo wants to play for Manchester United.

The Mirror has Ronaldo asking Manchester United to “TAKE ME BACK”.

Only, Ronaldo has not asked United to take him back.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Chelsea Balls: Welcome To the Stamford Bridge Job Centre Cristian Manea

THE Sun says Chelsea are looking to sign 17-year-old Romanian Cristian Manea for £2.3million. He’s a good player who will surely go on to have a professional career at some level.

Of course, the transfer season doesn’t open until Janaury, so Chelsea will have to wait a while before recruiting yet another player to farm out on loan.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, September 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Manchester United Balls: QPR Manager Harry Redknapp Doesn’t Count The Goals

FOLLOWING Manchester Unied’s 4-0 victory over struggling QPR, a lot has been said about United’s new players, chiefly that you can buy your way out of trouble. A little overlooked was QPR’s role in the catharsis. But, thankfully, QPR manager Harry Redknapp was on hand to explain it all:

“I don’t think our keeper had really had too many shots to save, they’d had a lot of the ball, but I don’t think he’s hardly made a save first half.”

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)

Talking Balls: Manchester United Falcao Is ISIS Nutjob Shakir Wahiyib: Arsenal’s Ozil To Munich

TALKING Balls: A look at media reporting on Arsenal’s Germnan midfielder Mesut Ozil and Manchester United’s Radamel Falcao.

The often straw-clutching CaughtOffside says Ozil is heading to Bayern Munich for £32m. The Guardian picks that up and reports it.

Number of direct quotes cited: none.

Number of sources cited: none.

Facts to support headline: none.

The site Fanatiz calls Ozil a “flop”. Is he? Well, no. He isn’t. It’s just that for £41m, you expect more.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Cristiano Ronaldo Still Plays For Manchester United

TRANSFER Balls: a l0ok at the Daily Express’ dire reporting on Cristiano Ronaldo.

Today Charles Perrin says Ronaldo is “sick of life at Old Trafford”.

But the world’s best player doesn’t play for Manchester United. He plays for Real Madrid, a club now modelled on the Spanish giants.

Express readers then learn:

Manchester United, Chelsea and Manchester City are set to compete for the signature of Cristiano Ronaldo.

Sure. And also PSG. And any other side with stacks of cash and a stymied youth policy.

Such are the facts in the Daily Express…

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Arsenal Balls: Mathieu Debuchy Injury Leaves Arsenal With Just 11 Defenders

ARSENAL Balls: Mathieu Debuchy has an injured ankle. How long will he be injured for?

Daily Mail: We don’t know.

The Telegraph: Two months

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment (1)

Manchester United Balls: Rio Ferdinand Says Moyes Banned Them From Eating Low-Fat Chips

AS former Manchester Untied defedner Rio Ferdinand returned to Old Trafford with new club QPR – and looked on as the visitors shipped four goals – the Sun picked up the scent of chips.  The headline informs readers:

Moyes slowly lost us… and it began when he banned our chips the night before a game – Rio on the manager that didn’t fit in at Man Utd

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Middlesbrough Manager Aitor Karanka ‘Aims To Break In New Boys Gently’

TODAY’S Newcastle Journal leads with news that Middlesbrough manager Aitor Karanka  “Aims To Break In New Boys Gently”.

Here’s hoping his aim is every bit as good as it used to be.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Angel Delight Watch: Manchester United’s Di Maria Is The Taste Of 1970s Puns

MANCHESTER United’s record signing Angel Di Maria scored against QPR, so proving that £200m can buy a club out of a trouble.

As the ball hit the net. Sky Sport’s Martin Tyler oozed:

“We’ve seen some Angel delight here today.”

Angel delight. We’ll try to keep track of the number of times that pun is used.  The question “how do you solve a problem like Di Maria?” will also be looked out for.

Coral, the bookmakers on the Manchester United sweetie:

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2014 | In: Key Posts, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Cycling Team Regrets Going For Beige

Spotter: @StigAbell

Managing Editor of the Sun. Sunday mornings chatting on LBC.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2014 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Proof That Match of The Day Favours Boring Arsenal And Hates Exciting Aston Villa

MATCH of the Day is most football fans’ first chance to see what their team got up earlier in the day. The BBC’s flagship football programmes starts late on a Saturday Night. And most often than not it starts with Arsenal:

Most popular clubs on Match of the Day (Aug 2013-)

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment (1)

Transfer Balls: Ronaldo Makes ‘SHOCK’ Move To Manchester City, Manchester United, Chelsea And PSG

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express has an “EXCLUSIVE” about Cristiano Ronaldo leaving Real Madrid for a “shock” return to Manchester United…or Manchester City.

EXCLUSIVE: Ronaldo ready to make SHOCK move to Man City OR return to Man Utd

How ready? How shocking?

Cristiano Ronaldo could quit Real Madrid

Yes, he could. But is what a footballer could do an exclusive?

The 29-year-old world player of the year, who moved to the Bernabeu in the summer of 2009 from Manchester United for a then world record £80million, would love to return to Old Trafford – but a move to rivals Manchester City could also be an option.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, September 2014 | In: Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Ronaldo Wants Liverpool, Loves Manchester United, Signs For Chelsea And Stays At Real Madrid

TRANSFER Balls: Is Critsiano Ronaldo leaving Real Madrid for a returm to Manchester Untied?

The Daily Express says he is – maybe:

Jamie Anderson says the deal to bring Ronaldo to United is “possible”. It is not impossible.

Talk of the Portuguese star’s return ramped up in the wake of comments made by former Real Madrid team-mate Angel Di Maria.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United: Juan Sebastián Verón’s Advice To Marcos Rojo and Ángel di María

IN the summer of 2001, Manchester United signed Juan Sebastián Verón from Lazio. The fomer Argentina captain has been talking to the Times. Manchester United have signed two of his fellow countrymen, Marcos Rojo and Ángel di María. What advice does he have for them?

FOOD: “You eat so early. Sometimes, with the team, we would eat at 6.30pm or 7pm. In Argentina, nobody even thinks about eating until 9pm. At the earliest.”

LIFE: “I was used to life in Italy….I knew it would be different, but the appeal of Manchester United is the same as the appeal of Barcelona and Real Madrid, the attraction that the top three or four clubs in the world have.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Liverpool ‘Trolls’ And The Trouble With Fabregas And Torres At Chelsea

THE Daily Mirror’s Brian Reade – the man who ‘assassinated’ an area and its white population in the “White Man’s Gulch” of Eltham – is upset at treatment meted out to Chesela’s Cesc Fabregas And Liverpool’s Fabio Borini:

Why are Fabio Borini and Cesc Fabregas now having to defend themselves against online character assassinations?

That question is soon followed by another?

Borini, who spurned two moves away from Anfield this summer has taken abuse from Sunderland, QPR and Liverpool trolls for being a greedy little git. Since when has having the determination to fight for your place at the club you signed for been a crime?

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2014 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment (1)

Arsenal Balls: ‘Blame’ Arsenal And The Pope For Signing Danny Welbeck

ARSENAL Balls: So. Why did Arsenal spend £16m to sign Danny Welbek from Manchester United?

The Daily Star knows.

David Woods says Arsenal players convinced Wenger sign Welbeck:

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Arsenal Balls: Wenger Bought Danny Welbeck From Manchester United By Accident

ARSENAL Balls: Media reporting on Arsene Wenger’s attitude to Danny Welbeck is utter drivel.

The Metro leads with the news that Arsenal didn’t want to sign Welbeck. Incredible as it seems, you can spend £16m on human flesh without meaning to:

Clearly, Manchester United’s Louis Van Gaal was not crash hot on Welbeck given that he had more expensive and experienced alterntives. You don’t leave players who cost a weekly wage far in excess of Welbeck’s on the bench.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment