Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Real Madrid Balls: Pepe Blows His Nose On Bayern Munich’s Thomas Muller
IN last night’s Champions’ League semi-final – in which Bayern Munich were thrashed 5-0 by Real Madrid – the Spanish team’s Pepe squirted snot at Thomas Muller. These were not trailing streamers of snot, dribbling from Pepe’s face in the emotion of victory. This was Pepe jetting snot from his nose as the side prepared for a free kick.
Revolting stuff. But Muller seems unfazed by the contagious microbe. No, not Pepe. Well, okay, yep, him, too.
Looks like Madrid really are Bayern’s – ahem – bogey team.
(Blushes.)
The Five Weirdest Things Ever Thrown Onto A Pitch
WHEN Villarreal fans taunted Barcelona’s Dani Alves by throwing him a banana, it was not entirely surprising.
Spain does, after all, have a history of this kind of racist goading, including such notable incidents as the monkey chanting directed at England players during the 2004 international in Madrid….
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Posted: 29th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Balls: On The 19th Annual St. Totteringham’s Day We Recall Who Said Spurs Would Top The Gunners
ON the 19th annual St. Totteringham’s Day – when Arsenal finish above Spurs in the Premier League – Lukas Podolski identified himself as a fan favourite:
Let’s review what the experts said:
Gary Lineker: “I think they’ll probably finish above Arsenal. Well, the interesting thing is that normally clubs… if they sell a huge player, they always say, oh, we’ll spend the money, we’ll put it back in the team but they invariably don’t, whereas at least you can say for Spurs they’ve had a plan and they’ve spent that money – and they’ve spent it actually before they got it really – so I think actually they’ve bought pretty well on the whole.”
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Posted: 29th, April 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Liverpool Balls: Luis Suarez Joins In With Anti-Racism Banana Eating Show
IN an incredible, worldwide show of support for Dani Alves and the exemplary, “no f**ks given” way in which he reacted to a banana-throwing incident at Villarreal (who have subsequently banned the fan responsible for life) over the weekend, scores of footballers and other personalities have posted photos on social media of them eating bananas, along with the tag-line “we are all monkeys”.
Look who joined in. It’s none other then anti-racism champion Luis Suarez:
No picture, yet, of Chelsea John Terry doing the same…
No photo, either, of Suarez eating one of these.
Liverpool V Chelsea Balls: Learning To Hate Mourinho And Love Steven Gerrard, And Vice Versa
IT’S hard work being a football writer for the dead tree press, hitting an opinion to deadline. Take the usually excellent Michael Calvin, writing in the Indy the day before Chelsea won 2-0 at Anfield and upset Liverpool’s Premier League victory parade:
Jose Mourinho, Enemy of Football. The long-standing slur might be excessive and ultimately meaningless, but the status is irresistibly melodramatic. It conjures images of intrigue, a plotter’s face captured for an instant in the beam of a spotlight, shone into shadow.
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Posted: 28th, April 2014 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Balls: Luis Suarez Wins PFA Football Of The Year 2014
REDEMPTION is easy if you’re brilliant at your job. Luis Suarez, once British football’s racist, diving, biting pariah has been voted the PFA Player of the Year.
He took his big cup at the awards do at the Grosvenor Hotel, London.
Suarez has been English and Welsh football’s most entertaining player (and we include the biting incident, which – let’s face it – we all loved. However, the laws of football journalism command me to say that Suarez is a role model whose nibbling of Branislav Ivanovic exposed raw Serbs to bouts of playground cannibalism and was further evidence that he was a cheating foreigner who wanted schooling in the British traditions of fair play, meat paste and honest-to-goodness over the ball leg-breaking challenges.)
Well done, Luis. Enjoy your dinner…
Liverpool Balls: The Internet Reacts With LOLS As The Red Throw Away The Premier League
WHEN Liverpool’s premature victory parade was derailed by Chelsea winning 2-0 at Anfield, the internet reacted:
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Chelsea Balls: Liverpool Fan Wears The Most Regretful Shirt Ever
CHELSEA beat Liverprool 2-0 at Anfield to throw the Premier League title race open. And one Reds’ fan pops home to get some petrol and a match:
Spotter: Mike Kritharis
Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Balls: Statue To Manchester United’s Messiah Moyes Erected Outside Anfield
THE wags from a betting firm erected a stature to forcibly retired Manchester United manager David Moyes outside Liverpool’s Anfield ground.
Unless it is The Chosen One touting for spare change as a living statue?
Anyhow, United have moved on. Louis Van Gaal is now the name on fans’ lips:
“Come on Louis Van Gaal, play like Moyes’ gals”
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Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)
1937: Matt Busby’s Liverpool FC Take On Chelsea
FLASHBACK to August 28th 1937:
Football League Division One: Chelsea v Liverpool at Stamford Bridge
Liverpool goalkeeper Arthur Riley (r) saves, watched by teammate Matt Busby (second l) and Chelsea’s Harry Burgess (l) and Jimmy Argue (c)
Matt Busby… Whatever happened to him..?
Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Liverpool | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Lothario Ryan Giggs Tears You Apart – The Pick Of The Old Trafford Banners
RYAN Giggs is the manager of Manchester United. What say the fans of the lothario (surely sick love rat? – ed) now at the helm?
Wear the mask and pull the birds
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Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Louis van Gaal Signs 3-Year Deal At Manchester United Without United Knowing
HAVE Manchester United made Louis van Gaal the new manager?
The De Telegraaf newspaper in Holland claim the man has singed a three-year deal. And Patrick Kluivert will be his assistant.
The British Press then report the news:
Yes.
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Posted: 26th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Balls: ‘Premier League Champions’ T-Shirts Go On Sale (Only Fools Buy Them)
LIVERPOOL have not won the Premier League. It looks like they will. But if 1989 and all that teaches the Reds’ fans anything, it is that nothing is won (yet). So. What true Liverpool fan would buy one of the ‘Liverpool Premier League Champions 2013/14′ T-shirts on sale in Ireland?
None.
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Arsenal Balls: Podolski Is The Third Most Prolific Striker In Premier League History
LUKAS Podolski’s 19 goals and 11 assists in his Arsenal career give him the third best minutes per goals ratio in Premier Leauge history, bettered only by Thierry Henry and Kun Aguero.
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Manchester United Balls: Ferguson Supported Moyes To The Hilt
MANCHESTER United balls: How much did Alex Ferguson fight for David Moyes to be given more time?
David McDonnell in the Daily Mirror:
Moyes reckons Ferguson deliberately distanced himself from him as results worsened and the mood among the United board shifted… It is understood support from his predecessor ebbed away as United’s decline under Moyes became more dramatic
Neil Curtis in The Sun:
“Sir Alex Ferguson tried to save David Moyes from the axe. The former boss stayed loyal to Moyes until the very end, pleading his case as the rest of the Manchester United board prepared to sack him”
Such are the facts…
Posted: 25th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Balls: Mesut Ozil Is Remade As A Chocolate Egg
GARY Lineker flogs fatty food crisps to sports fans. And in Germany, the budding sport stars can tuck into World Cup 2014 Kinder Surprise eggs, such as this one featuring Arsenal star Mesut Ozil.
This is his face on the Kinder Überraschung.
This is what you get inside:
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Posted: 25th, April 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports, The Consumer | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Fan Updates His “Moyes Out’ Buttocks Tattoo
THE Manchester United fan who inked a ‘Moyes Out’ tattoo on his buttovcks has updated the m-arse-terpiece? to proclaim “Moyes Out JOB DONE”.
It was the arse wot dunnit.
Posted: 24th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Daily Mail Leads Contest To Write The Most Useless David Moyes Story
MANCHESTER United are without a full-time manager. The players are running wild. Order has broken down. The Daily Mail’s Richard Arrowsmith spots the truants tearing up the shopping precinct. Well, not quite:
Wayne Rooney, Phil Jones and Rafael play a relaxing round of golf the day after David Moyes is sacked by Manchester United
Wow, indeed. Is that the most pisspoor David Moyes story yet printed?
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Posted: 24th, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: David Moyes’ Failure Earns United A Fortune
THE Guardian is not a tabloid. Mindful of that, Simon Godley talks of Manchester United:
Manchester United face loss of more than £200m over David Moyes’ sacking
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Posted: 23rd, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: When Assistant Manager Jimmy Murphy Took Over From Matt Busby In 1958
THE last time Manchester United had an interim manger was after the Munich Air Disaster. United’s Assistant Manager Jimmy Murphy didn’t travel to Belgrade with the team due to his commitments as Welsh national manager – Wales were playing Israel in Cardiff on the same night as Red Star Belgrade were due to play Manchester United match in Belgrade, Yugoslavia.
In this picture dated 06/02/1958, he fields telephone inquiries from concerned fans just hours after the disaster.
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Posted: 23rd, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United News Round-Up: Moyes Ousted By Bankers, Sex And Ferguson
THE front and back pages and chockfull of Manchester United news.
The Sun has an “exclusive”.
Inside, we read:
Reds on the ropes after manager is dismissed
The scoop, which employed FOUR journalists, is:
MANCHESTER United will be investigated by Wall Street watchdogs over their handling of David Moyes’ sacking — which added $209million to the giant club’s value.
Moyes was yesterday said to be angry and devastated, both at his dismissal after only ten months as boss and the fact that news of it leaked out the day BEFORE he was officially axed.Investors were also left fuming by the reported leak as shares leapt by seven per cent. Now United potentially face a rebuke or fine from the New York Stock Exchange — where the shares are listed — and the US Securities and Exchange Commission for allegedly briefing journalists before alerting shareholders.
It’s an exclusive?
What say the money experts at the FT?
Simon Kuper writes in the FT:
Money buys success in football and several clubs now have more money than United. From 1997 through 2004, United topped the consultancy Deloitte’s “rich list” of European football clubs ranked by revenues. In 2012-13, United dropped out of the top three for the first time since Deloitte began compiling the list. Real Madrid, Barcelona and Bayern Munich now have higher revenues. Moreover, Chelsea, Manchester City and Paris Saint-Germain have oil-rich owners who pump money in rather than sucking it out. By the logic of the market that means there are six clubs in Europe more likely to win the Champions League than United. In the domestic league, by the same logic, the club’s natural position is now third behind Chelsea and Manchester City.
So. Money matters. Who knew?
Over in the Indy, Ian Herbert has the “inside story” of Moyes’ fall.
In a back corridor of The Hawthorns six weeks ago, David Moyes gave full force to his temper when expressing his displeasure at the characterisation of one of his regular written communiques to fans as an ‘open letter.’ Venom has always been one of his components.
There have been attempts to rein in his ire and his sometimes bare contempt for those who question him: the Easter eggs on offer before his last pre-match press conference on Good Friday felt like a choreographed softening.
Other papers realise that Ryan Giggs, the new caretaker manager, has a spot of history:
As for Moyes losing out on £20m, as the Star reports
As he prepared for the hotseat, axed Moyes was dealt a hammer blow with his compensation deal slashed by £20m… But his failure to qualify for the Champions League triggered an “ejector seat” clause in his deal. That allowed United’s owners the Glazer family to get rid of him for £5m, which is 12 months salary and peanuts in terms of pay-offs at football’s highest level.
He lost £20m. Or, to put it ion saner terms, David Moyes walked away with a £5m for 10 months of failure. Make the man not a footy manager but a banker and you’ve got a story of outrage and wailing shareholders.
The Mail opts to lead with Giggs and his one true love |(that’s Mrs Giggs).
So, Giggs is a top gap. And then what?
The Star says Alex Ferguson will choose the next United manager, just as he chose Moyes to succeed him.
Eeny, meeny, miney… CARLO!
Whoever comes next, there first job might be to kick out Fergie and his chums:
As Kevin Garside notes:
Wilf McGuinness, Frank O’Farrell, Tommy Docherty, Dave Sexton and Ron Atkinson all went in the 17 years that separated the reigns of Sir Matt Busby and Sir Alex Ferguson.
A legacy can weight heavy…
Posted: 23rd, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Moyes Sacking Proves Spurs Reject AVB Was Right About Media Bias
MANCHESTER United fan Gary Neville points out that giving a man a six-year contract, such as the one the United board gave David Moyes, and then sacking him after 10 months is odd. Neville has been consistent. But what of Martin Samuel, who wrote in the Mail when Andre Villas-Boas was being shown the door at Spurs:
Villas-Boas wondered why nobody turned an invasive spotlight on David Moyes’s struggles at Manchester United, yet he was considered under pressure as Tottenham floMANCHESTER United fan Gary Neville points out that giving a man a six-year contract, such as the one the United board gave David Moyes, and then sacking him after 10 months is odd.
Neville has been consistent. But what of Martin Samuel, who wrote in the Mail when Andre Villas-Boas was being shown the door at Spurs: undered. He hinted that good old British managers received different treatment to young foreign ones. He never understood that it is the clubs that set these agendas, not the critics.
It’s not AVB’s critics. And there were plenty of them at the Mail.
Samuel added:
Villas-Boas could never fathom the difference between United handing Moyes a six-year contract on the recommendation of Sir Alex Ferguson, and his arrival as Tottenham’s fifth manager in eight years.
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Posted: 22nd, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Manchester United Balls: The 5 Best Stories About Louis Van Gaal
HEAVILY tipped to be taking over from David Moyes at Manchester United after the World Cup, Louis van Gaal has a bit of a reputation in football circles of – how can we put this delicately – being a bit of a deranged megalomaniac, with many cracking apocryphal stories and quotes being attributed to the man over the course of his long career in football.
Here are Pies’ five favourites…
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Posted: 22nd, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: What The Experts Said When David Moyes Was Made Manager
DAVID Moyes has been a poor manager at Manchester United. But what did the experts say when he was appointed to the job?
Sir Alex Ferguson:
“When we discussed the candidates that we felt had the right attributes we unanimously agreed on David Moyes. David is a man of great integrity with a strong work ethic. I’ve admired his work for a long time and approached him as far back as 1998 to discuss the position of Assistant Manager here. He was a young man then at the start of his career and has since gone on to do a magnificent job at Everton. There is no question he has all the qualities we expect of a manager at this Club.”
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Posted: 22nd, April 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
