Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Transfer Balls: Christian Benteke snubs Spurs and Chelsea for £30m Turkse Rangers
TRANSFER Balls: A look at Aston Villa’s want away striker Christian Benteke in the news media:
July 16
The above message is doing the rounds on the web.
In other news.
Liverpool have also made an enquiry for Benteke while Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is considering an offer for the forward, who went on strike last summer to force through his €9m transfer from Genk. – Goal.com
So. Chelsea and Liverpool want Benteke? He’s not gone to Spurs, then?
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Transfer Balls: Manchester United make Wayne Rooney an offer he can refuse as Chelsea mafia pounce
TRANSFER Balls: How’s Wayne Rooney’s summer panning out? He’s been the subject of a routine failed big-money bid from Arsenal, injured his leg in Bangkok (innocent – it was entirely innocent; he can explain everything…) and eaten a Pot noodle at Glastonbury. Now read on..
As Pies reports:
Speaking in Bangkok, Manchester United manager Moyes has reportedly told Rooney that he will only be considered a vital player at United if “we had an injury to Robin van Persie,” also hinting that the uppity forward is on a ’12-month trial’ of sorts:
“Wayne can play up on his own, he can play dropped in. Overall my thought on Wayne is, if for any reason we had an injury to Robin van Persie, we’ll need him.
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Transfer Balls: Spurs and Arsenal chase Croatia superstar to Italy
TRANSFER Balls: Did Spurs or Arsenal sign Croatian whizzkid Tin Jedvaj?
July 15
Roma has signed teenage defender Tin Jedvaj from Dinamo Zagreb… Roma has paid 5 million euros to Dinamo for the 17-year-old Jedvaj.
Did the experts see that one coming?
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Transfer balls: Arsenal shatter Morouane Fellaini’s dreams and Manchester United get Belgian star for free
TRANSFER Balls: A look at Everton star Morouane Fellaini, as reported by media experts over the past week:
July 15
Liverpool Echo: “Martinez tells Fellaini to stay and inspire Blues – New Everton FC manager determined to hold on star midfielder”
How determined is he? Other reports suggest Everton are making ready for his departure (see below).
July 14
The Express:
MANCHESTER United and Arsenal have just a month left to take advantage of Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini’s £23.5m buy-out clause.
If they don’t meet the asking price by 23 August, the asking price for the 25-year-old Belgian international could go up.
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Louis Smith has only read on book properly – his autobopgraphy
OLYMPIC gymnast and Strictly Come Dancing champion Louis Smith has only ever read one book. Can you guess which the Peterborough-born pommel-horse expert read? Yep, it’s his autobiography, the 240-page pot boiler Louis: My Story So Far.
Says Smith:
“It would have to be my book, as it’s the first book I’ve read properly.”
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Posted: 14th, July 2013 | In: Books, Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer Balls: Manchester United spend ‘Unlimited budget’ on Bale, Thiago and Bayern Munich stars
TRANSFER balls: A look at Manchester United in the news:
The Sun says “DAVID MOYES has been told he can spend as much as he likes“. His budget at Manchester united is “unlimited“.
Yeah, really.
The new Manchester United boss has targeted both Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo — even though they would cost over £75million EACH.
If the budget’s unlimited why stop at just £75m?
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Tyson Fury punches himself in the face (video)
A VIDEO of boxer Tyson Fury punching himself the face:
The Ashes: (almost) everything Stuart Broad learned about walking he learnt from watching Australia
UMPIRE Dar stuffed up in the Ashes. he missed a clear edge. England batsman Stuart Broad didn’t walk. He stood his ground and waited. Not out. Dar’s error was compounded by the troubled decision review system.
Australia complained. But Broad stood his ground.
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Transfer balls: Manchester United give Wayne Rooney a grade one cut
TRANSFER Balls: More news on Wayne Rooney’s departure from Manchester United. Oh, come on, United fans, you don’t need a player who isn’t all that interested in playing for the club. United should get top dollar and show him the door.
The Mail leads with “Jose ups stakes in Rooney chase”.
The Mirror leads with “Roo is not for sale”.
The Star’s big news is that Jose Mourinho thinks Wayne Rooney is a good player. Well, if Jose says so, he must be. This leads to the puntastic headline “I want Roo“. Says the Chelsea manager:
“It’s a funny, tricky question from an ethical point of view as I can’t talk about players from other teams. But it is not my character to speak with hypocrisy, I always tell what I see. He’s a player that I like very much. Being fast and direct I like him very much, but he’s a Manchester United player.”
Manchester United manager David Moyes says he and Rooney get on well and have met “two, three, four times already”.
Not five? Six? The Sun helps Moyes out:
‘DAVID MOYES has held FOUR meetings with Wayne Rooney to convince the unsettled star to stay at Manchester United.”
Moyes then tells one and all:
“Unless I was speaking double Dutch last week, we said Wayne Rooney is not for sale.”
Adding:
“People are entitled to talk about good players. I’m getting asked plenty of questions about Wayne. José has been asked about players as well. It’s hard to keep repeating myself but I will – Wayne is a Manchester United player and it will remain that way. I think José said, in his comments, that he doesn’t normally talk about other players. But it does happen.”
Anyhow, we know Rooney’s out for a month, right? The Press told us that. Here’s Moyes again:
“It’s a blow that we’ve lost him because he’s been training well and looking very good. But unfortunately he just felt something in his hamstring.
“We did a check and found a slight grade one injury there, which will probably keep him out for about two to three weeks. So I don’t foresee any problem with Wayne starting the season and being fit for then.
A grade one injury is:
A mild injury in which ligament, tendon or other musculoskeletal tissue may have been stretch or contused, but not torn
And for that Rooney went all the way home and missed United’s pre-season tour.
Moyes continues:
“He didn’t train the last little bit [in Manchester]. He just felt his hamstring tighten, so we pulled him out and didn’t think anything of it. It was only when we got here we knew we weren’t going to train him yesterday, and we thought, as a precaution, we would check it out.
He was injured. So you flew him to Thailand. Then you flew him home again. As a precaution.
“When we went to check it we saw a small grade one [tear]. We could maybe have taken him on to all the other places, but he couldn’t have played the games. So for the benefit of the player the best thing to do was to get him home straight away and quickly into his rehabilitation. We didn’t expect it. But what would be the point in taking any risks? There’s no point in taking any risks.”
No. No point at all in having the player bond with the squad on tour. Best for him to go home…alone.
To which pretty much every fans asks what Eurosport writes:
Is Wayne Rooney really injured?
Answers in double Dutch to the usual address…
Paul Gascoigne heads to Liverpool to die in peace
WE’RE not looking for sharks in the seas off Britain this silly season. We’re looking for former footballer Paul Gascoigne having a drink, or “committing suicide”, the Sun calls it.
THE Sun today calls on Britain’s pub landlords and shopkeepers to help save Paul Gascoigne’s life — by refusing to sell him alcohol.
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Drawing a dick on the Tour de France
AS you know Anorak appreciates a well-drawn knob. You can learn how to draw one here and here. Or you can watch TV coverage of the Tour de France.
Posted: 12th, July 2013 | In: Sports, TV & Radio | Comment
Fox News reporter throws basketball in toddler’s face
FOX News reporters are all dreadful and are probably secret Illuminati lizards or something, so it should come as no surprise that one such anchor made an infant cry, live on TV.
The child in question is called ‘Trick Shot’ Titus Ashby who has deadly accuracy in the paint, lobbing free-throws in for fun. He’s two years old.
He’s been hitting the hoop since he was 15 months young, so it is no surprise that he’s making TV appearances.
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Posted: 12th, July 2013 | In: Sports, TV & Radio | Comment
Transfer Balls: Wayne Rooney recuperates in a Chelsea kit
TRANSFER Balls: What’s Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney been up to?
July 11
Sky Sports: “David Moyes claims Wayne Rooney is in ‘best shape for years'”
“The team here are telling me it is the best shape they have seen him in for five years. And I am taking that as a positive. The club have already stated Wayne is staying and is not for sale. I am going to get the best Wayne Rooney I possibly can.”
Moyes makes Rooney sound like an action figure. He’ll get the best one. Arsenal might get a second-hand one. Chelsea might get one who eats Pot Noodle and chips.
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Posted: 12th, July 2013 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer Balls: Gareth Bale gets his free Real Madrid shirt from a new Chelsea fan
TRANSFER Balls and the Daily Bale: Having heard Real Madrid call off their hackneyed pursuit of Spurs star Gareth Bale, the Mirror leads with:
“Madrid – Come in Bale No.11”
The story is that Real “stepped up their attempt to land Bale by mocking up next season’s shirt with his name and favourite number on the back”.
Real are gunning for the award of ‘Saddest club in world football’ (previously held by Barcelona). Real are like Henry the ardent New Chelsea fan peeking over his half-time hamper to tell his daddy he wants a Manchester United top because mummy says he looks ‘very smart’ in red. Real are Violet Elizabeth Bott without the subtlety and charm.
The Express adds:
Real have worked out their squad numbers for the coming season, and have left Bale’s favoured number 11 vacant as they plan to lure the Welshman to the Bernabeu.
Earlier in the week, we were told that Bale dressed in his new Spurs kit was a surefire “hint” that he would stay in London. The Guardian said it was “the clearest indication yet he will stay at Tottenham”.
The Express also notes that Bale’s been wearing the Spurs kit in New York:
Bale has found himself at the centre of New York, used as the centrepiece of NBC’s promotion campaign advertising English football’s top-flight.
The billboard will come as another boost to Spurs fans, with the North-London club increasingly sure of keeping the Welshman this summer.
Billboards are never wrong, Spurs fans. Rest easy.
In other Bale Balls, the Guardian has the stellar news that “Tottenham Hotspur’s Gareth Bale says he is looking to improve as a player in 2013-14”.
This is a view shared by pretty much every sportsman and woman in the world. Getting better is what you have to aim for.
The last word in today’s news is in the Metro:
Gareth Bale’s flirtations with Real Madrid are understandable, says Benoit Assou-Ekotto
Says the Spurs defender:
“If Tottenham want to have a future and start to be regular in the top four, Tottenham need to keep him… I can understand [why he might want to leave]. Real Madrid are not a small club and people know that even if they support Tottenham at 200 per cent.’
Adding
“It’s good to play with him because sometimes this season we didn’t have the solution to win and he saved us many times. He was like a hero and it was cool because sometimes we would say “Oh how will we win this game?” and we gave the ball to Gareth…”
So. Bale’s the best player at a club with no ideas. And remind us why Paris wanted AVB as their manager..?
The Ashes: Ashton Agar hits the balls of the century (photos and video)
ASHTON Agar is the 19-year-old who smacked 98 runs off 101 balls on his Ashes and Test debut at Trent Bridge, the highest score by a No 11 in Test cricket.
When spinner Agar took his guard, Australia were 9/117, nearly 100 runs behind England. The game was done. England were on their way to a victory; the first stop to an anticipated 5-0 Ashes drubbing. When Agar left the field, Australia were 65 runs ahead.
Agar had been sensational. Two more runs and he would have scored the greatest Test century of all time. Pity that he didn’t make it.
As it was, Agar was caught in the deep, trying to demolish a Stuart Broad ball.
But thanks to the teenager, The Ashes have come alive.
Now, all he need do to complete the story is emulate Australian Test spinner Shane Warne’s ball of the 20th century. That was in 1993 – four months before Agar was born.
Transfer Balls: Manchester City pay over the odds for Arsenal’s Stevan Jovetic
TRANSFER Balls: A look at Macedonia and Fiorentina stat Stevan Jovetic in the news:
July 11
The Mirror leads with news that Manchester City has secured the player’s signature for £28m. This, we are told, has upset Manchester United.
But it’s not yet over. And Jovetic is getting cheaper.
The Sun: “Manchester giants battle for £27m striker”
And not only Manchester are in the hunt.
STEVAN JOVETIC is at the centre of a FOUR-WAY transfer tug-of-war between the Premier League’s top clubs.
Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United are all battling to sign the 23-year-old Fiorentina ace.
But the Montenegro international won’t be snapped up on the cheap and clubs will have to match his £27m release clause if they want to lure him to England.
The Indy: “Manchester United ‘could move for Stevan Jovetic”
They could. Or they could not.
MiuSoccer: “Man united close in on £25m man”
July 10
IBTimes: “Fiorentina president Andrea Della Valle has now stated that only an offer of €30m (£25.8m) would tempt the Viola into selling Jovetic”
Man City are offering too much. They need to go lower.
July 9
Insidefutbol: “Serie A side Juventus are aiming to sign Fiorentina’s Stevan Jovetic, who is valued at around €40m by La Viola, according to Italian sports daily Tuttosport.”
July 7
Daily Express: “Napoli make Manchester City’s Edin Dzeko back-up transfer target – NAPOLI have made contingency plans in case they can’t land their primary transfer target Fiorentina marksman Stevan Jovetic.”
July 4
Daily Express: “Arsenal and Manchester City given hope for Stevan Jovetic as Juventus pull plug”
But isn’t he already a Chelsea player?
June 12
Caught Offside: “Chelsea Close to Completing £25m Deal to Sign Fiorentina Striker Stevan Jovetic”
How close? Cloaer than this?
March 28
Metro: “Stevan Jovetic has already agreed to join Arsenal”
Such are the facts….
Posted: 11th, July 2013 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Spurs’ Gareth Bale taught Liverpool’s Luis Suarez everything he knows about moving to Real Madrid
TRANSFER balls: the Sun has a Luis Suarez scoop worthy of its back-page. Readers learn that the man portrayed as the archetypal underhand foreigner – he does things that no British gentleman would ever do (unless you’re Jermain Defoe, Gareth Bale or, as is alleged, John Terry) – has “admitted” why he wants to leave Liverpool.
It turns out that it’s not because the Press misquote him to make him appear traitorous and “amoral“. It is not because the FA banned him for ten matches for biting. Suarez failed to do the decent British thing. Had he tried to amputate Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic’s legs things would have been fine and honourable. ( Britisher Callum McManaman escaped a ban for a “horror tackle” on Newcastle’s Massadio Haidara).
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Posted: 11th, July 2013 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer balls: Alan Pardew models Newcastle United on Blanc’s PSG
WITH most eyes on Newcastle United’s recruitment of Joe Kinnear, the club’s manager Alan Pardew has been largely overlooked. But he popped up recently to lambaste PSG boss Laurent Blanc’s public pursuit of the Magpies’ Yohan Cabaye.
“I don’t think it’s right. He can get on the phone to me, or make a bid. That’s the right way to do it.”
Blanc had opined:
“Yohan offers many things in midfield and can play in quite a few positions. He is an interesting player, and the midfield will be an area we will be strengthening because there will be departures.”
Make a bid. Get on the phone. Says Pardew:
“Both those players are on our list. I make no bones about that. But they are under contract at other clubs. It’s difficult, you have to be careful. It’s nice for our fans to hear names, but I don’t want to disrupt other clubs’ preparations. There’s been speculation, particularly about Darren. I think I can comment on that because it sounds like, at Villa, he’s not particularly involved.”
Such are the facts from Pardew, the man who mocked Arsenal for being too French before copying them. Maybe he sees Frenchman Blanc as his latest inspiration?
Transfer balls: Spurs target David Villa replaces Wayne Rooney at Manchester United
TRANSFER Balls: a look at David Villa, the Barcelona striker on his way to Spurs. Well, so they said:
June 1
David Villa is definitely coming to the Premier League this summer, and Arsenal, Tottenham and Liverpool are all in for the Barcelona striker. Spain international Villa has told his advisers he wants a move to England and has now been given the green light by Barca to negotiate a deal- The Daily Mirror
The Mirror says Villa is worth £12m.
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Posted: 10th, July 2013 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Desperate PR: Man decaptiated at football match makes you money
DESPERATE PR of the day: YOU can make money from a man being beheaded at a football match:
Hey****,
Take advantage of this great AD REVENUE generating opportunity by using Newsy’s take on this weekend’s beheading at a Brazilian soccer match, which is just one of several incidents that have some asking if Brazil is ready to host the World Cup. You can access and embed the video by visiting here and registering Who Ate All the Pies with an account. Ad revenue opportunities are available as we’ll serve pre-roll across the content and split revenue that is generated.
Thanks
Classy.
Posted: 10th, July 2013 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment
Transfer Balls: Luis Suarez leaves Liverpool to be Arsenal’s next Higuain
TRANSFER Balls: Liverpool’s Luis Suarez will not be a Red for much longer if the experts are right:
BBC: “Luis Suarez still wants to leave Liverpool, says his agent”
Luis Suarez’s agent has reiterated the Uruguayan’s desire to play for a Champions League club during talks with Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers and managing director Ian Ayre.
Or as the Liverpool Echo puts it:
Liverpool FC hold ‘positive’ talks with Luis Suarez’s agent
And on Sky Sporta:
Luis Suarez staying at Liverpool, agent tells Sky Sports News
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Posted: 9th, July 2013 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Gareth Bale Balls: Spurs make Bale an offer he can’t refuse
THE Daily Bale: A look at Spurs star Gareth Bale in the news. We thought the transfer talk was over when Tottenham Chairman Daniel Levy apparently said the player was not for sale and Real Madrid said they were not going to bid for the player they’d been trying to tap up. The experts who said Bale was going to Madrid in early July were wrong.
But then…
The Sun: “Bale in kit hint”
The Sun says Bale modelling the news Spurs kit is a hint that he will stay.
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Virginia Wade heads a list of British Wimbledon champions erased from the record books
WHEN Andy Murray won Wimbledon some of you might have picked up the whiff of misogyny. Had he really ended the 77 year wait for a British Wimbledon Champion? Was he the first British champions since Fred Perry built a T-shirt brand in 1936? Whisper these names Virginia Wade (1977), Jamie Murray (mixed doubles, 2007) , Jonathan Marray (mens doubles, 2012), and Angela Mortimer and Anne Shilcock (ladies doubles, 1955).
But Murray’s a man. And it’s all about the men. Those headlines came thick and thicker:
Times: “Murray ends 77-year wait for British win.”
Telegraph: “After 77 years, the wait is over.”
Daily Mail: “The moment Andy ended Britain’s 77 year wait.”
Daily Mirror: “Andy ends our 77-year wait for Wimbledon glory”
Daily Star: “Murray ends 77 years of hurt”
And on it goes….
Posted: 9th, July 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Transfer Bid Balls: Gonazalo Higuain stalls, Wayne Rooney fails and Luis Suarez laughs
TRANSFER Balls: Anorak’s daily look at news of player movements in the national press focuses on Arsenal. With a purported £75m to spend on players, the Gunners have set their sights on Gonazalo Higuain (Real Madrid), Wayne Rooney (Manchester Untied) and Luis Suarez (Liverpool).
The mood among Arsenal fans is one of cynical amusement. Is the Gunners’ plan to bid big money for star talent in the knowledge that the deals are unlikely to happen?
Let’s start with Higuain:
On July 6, the Sun screamed:
Gunzalo
ARSENAL last night smashed their transfer record when they agreed a £23million fee for Real Madrid striker Gonzalo Higuain.
Today the Sun reports:
GONZALO HIGUAIN’S future is still undecided, according to Real Madrid sources.
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