Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Lance Armstrong: Edgar Allan Poe, The Troll’s revenge and what Betsy Andreu saw
LANCE Armstrong is likely to feature a lot in the Times. The seven-times Tour de France winner has decided not to contest doping charges against him. The man who got rich on the back of those successes will not fight for his integrity. Armstrong has been stripped of those Tour titles and every every other result he had achieved since 1998.
In 1999, the Sunday Times went for Armstrong. David Walsh wrote:
“For too long, sportswriting has been unrestrained cheerleading, suspending legitimate doubts and settling for stories of sporting heroism.”
In 2001, Walsh told Sunday Times readers that Armstrong had worked with Italian doctor Michele Ferrari. The story was called Champ of Cheat? The paper had a question: “why would a clean rider work with a dirty doctor?”
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Posted: 5th, September 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Femen go topless in London to protest about something (photos)
FEMEN, the Ukrainian female protest group, have gone topless in London to highlight the “bloody Islamist regimes” taking part in the Olympics. Bloody Islamist regimes are thought to be delighted and plan to carry on with Sharia so long as there are lots of young, attractive topless to run about in front of the kids of show them what freedom looks like. (Noel Edmonds was also there.)
Paralympics booing: George Osborne tells Chris ‘Hitler’ Brownbridge not to worry
Posted: 4th, September 2012 | In: Politicians, Sports | Comment
England to wear Nike instead of Umbro… and no-one should really care
ENGLAND, apart from a brief flirtation with Admiral, have worn Umbro kits since forever. However, that’s all about to change as the next England kit we’ll see will feature a Nike swoosh. All this on the 150th anniversary of the Football Association.
Of course, the initial irritation will be that England fans will have to buy yet another replica kit. Particularly galling as the newest one replaced a shirt that was only worn for eight games.
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Cristiano Ronaldo won’t celebrate because he’s sad
REMEMBER when Cristiano Ronaldo was at Manchester United and compared himself to a ‘slave’ because he wanted to go to Real Madrid, where he ended up anyway? That was fun wasn’t it? Almost as fun as the fact ABSOLUTELY NO-ONE ever mentions the fact he somehow acquired a son (Cristiano Ronaldo Jr, naturally) without seeming to shag anyone.
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Channel 4 Paralympics fail – the disabled ‘knob’ dilema
CHANNEL 4’s #Paralympics coverage lacks an intern top check to the comments being texted in: “Is it OK to hit a disabled person if he’s being a knob”? More on that after the ad break…
Spotter: Ronnie Joice@ronniejoice
Lewis Hamilton on telemetry differentials (video)
LEWIS Hamilton crashed out of the Belgian Grand Prix and burned on Twitter. The F1 driver tweeted a photo of the telemetry used by McLaren engineers to compare the fastest laps of Button and Hamilton during qualifying. Hamilton removed it from twitter but McLaren’s rival can still see it on his Instagram account.
McLaren technical director Paddy Lowe told media:
“The actual mistake that Lewis made, which he understands, is that he didn’t really appreciate the nature of that information. The engineers don’t like to see that because we spend our lives trying to keep things like that secret. So it is more what it represents.”
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Paralympics: 2012: Jody Cundy takes disqualification badly
JODY Cundy MBE was disqualified from the C4-5 time trial at the London Paralympics after he wheelspun at the starting gate. He wanted a restart. The officials refused. Cundy was displeased, ranting:
“I fell out of the gate because the fucking gate didn’t open. I’ve wasted four years of my life to ride in front of 6,000 people. Do you know what it’s like to dedicate four years of your life… I can’t even express it, there aren’t the fucking words…I’ll never ever get this opportunity again, never, ever. What am I supposed to do now?”
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Homesick in Preston Richard Wright ends up at Manchester City
HOW football works: former Arsenal and England goalkeeper Richard Wright has signed for Manchester City, reports the Daily Mail.
As Wright said in July on his desire to move from Preston North End – the club he signed for a few days previously:
“It might seem somewhat dramatic. But I have only been away from my home in East Anglia for a few days and I know already that I simply cannot live that far away from my family. I have children settled in school, so moving isn’t an option.”
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Brendan Rogers is a nutcase, says Liverpool’s Brendan Rogers
IS ANDY Carroll leaving Liverpool? Brendan Rogers, Liverpool’s new Messiah, has news:
“I need a minimum of three strikers. Once the window shuts, that is it until January. I have got Luis Suarez, Fabio Borini and Andy Carroll. I would need to be a nutcase to even consider letting Andy Carroll go at this moment” – Brendan Rodgers, August 23.
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A history of bystanders injured watching sports (videos)
THE tragic death of a German athletics referee this week – speared through the throat with a javelin – was a terrible and highly unusual accident. Yet he was by no means the first unfortunate bystander to find himself in precisely the wrong place at precisely the wrong time…
When Yorkshire’s Jacques Rudolph threw a routine ball back to his bowler in a Twenty20 match against Lancashire last May, he joined an exclusive club of bird-killing cricketers…
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Posted: 30th, August 2012 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Hawking beats Magneto at London Paralympics opening ceremony (photos)
THE London 2012 Paralympic Games has opened. Professor Stephen Hawking said a few words. Seb Coe said lots of words. Sir Ian McKellen appeared as Prospero – but better had he appeared as the X Men’s Magneto, assuring the world’s elite paralympians that they will rule the world. Hawking would then push him into the Olympic flames. A chance missed, surely…
Spurs season finished after two matches
HOW football reporting works: Paul Brown has news for Spurs fans in the Daily Star:
“Andre Villas-Boas will know by 11pm Friday whether his £70m plan to transform Tottenham into title contenders has worked.”
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The best London Underground Tube sign about the paralympics?
THE best London Underground Tube sign about the paralympics:
Spotter: @TiernanDouieb
Chelsea’s Eden Hazard puts the Sun#’s ‘exclusive’ Inafix
MIKE McGrath has an “EXCLUSVIE” in the Sun about Eden Hazard, Chelsea’s new midfield whiz.
In “I fell into a magic football potion as a child”, McGrath tells Sun readers “exclusively”:
“It’s like Asterix and Obelix. All of us fell in the magic potion when we were younger — our dad and uncles also played football. It’s good, it means we talk a lot about football in the household.”
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Atheletics official Dieter Strack killed by javelin
TO Germany, where a track official has been killed by a javelin. 74-year-old Dieter Strack was working at an athletics meet in Dusseldorf when the javelin struck him the throat.
The javelin was tossed by a 15-year-old competitor.
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Cycling in London: only the very best survive
AFTER all the cycling success at London 2012, what is life like for London’s two-wheelers for a budding Bradley Wiggins, Laura Trott or Chris Hoy? Lewisham Cyclists have produced a video of life on London’s Post-Olympic lanes. The junction at Greenwich High Road, Deptford Bridge, Deals Gateway and Blackheath Road is a great challenge that only the very best – and lucky – can survive.
You don’t need to be on drugs to be good on a bike, but – as Lance Armstrong’s case tells us – it helps:
Spotter: 853
Lance Armstrong will not use millions earned in victory to save his integrity
LANCE Armstrong says that he will not fight the decision to strip him of his seven Tour de France titles. Cycling officials says Armstrong used banned substances, like blood-booster erythropoietin (EPO) and steroids. They say that since the mid-1990s Armstrong has undergone blood transfusions. They say he’s a cheat.
Armstrong will not contest the decision to ban him from cycling for life. He will not fight for his integrity. He will not fight to honour all those lucrative contracts that added brands to the champions jerseys. He will not fight to assure all those he beat that the playing field was a level one. He will not fight for the fans who paid to cheer him on. Says Lance Armstrong: “There comes a point in every man’s life when he has to say, ‘Enough is enough.’ For me, that time is now.”
If one of the fittest athletes alive can grow tired of fighting – tired of paying the lawyers – then what hope for us mere mortals?
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Posted: 24th, August 2012 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Former bankrupt who changed his name linked to Portsmouth FC takeover
IN 2011 Laurence Bassini invested in Watford FC. The Watford Observer reported that Mr Bassini used to be Laurence Bazini, who was made bankrupt in 2007.
Mr Bassini said: “The reason for the change was four years ago my father found a hotel which I invested in quite heavily and helped him with it. It just didn’t work out how it should have…Businessmen have their highs and lows, that was a low at that time for me. After the bankruptcy, people say things so I changed my name to have a fresh start. That was the reason for it. I haven’t changed it by very much, I just changed it that way because at that time it was what I wanted to do.”
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Snapshot: Bernie Ecclestone and Michael Schumacher are sitting on a wall
FLASHBACK in a snapshot: It’s 12/08/2000. Formula One Motor Racing has arrived at the Hungarian Grand Prix. At the Qualifying session, Michael Schumacher tries to tip Bernie Ecclestone off the wall as David Coulthard, Mika Hakkinen and Rubens Barrichello look on. Bernie then appears to grap Schumacher’s gear stick…
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Michael Phelps to be stripped of gold medals?
NO-ONE has won more Olympic golds than Michael Phelps. He’s probably won more golds than most Olympic countries have won in their history. However, things are looking a little uncertain this week. See, Phelps’ 19 gold medals may diminish in number after he got chosen to front a new advertising campaign for Louis Vuitton.
The Olympic committee have a rather large beef with advertising, don’t they?
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Posted: 21st, August 2012 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment
Manchester United sign ‘Andesron’
WHO is that new player coming onto the pitch for Manchester United’s match against Everton? It’s Anderson. He looks a lot like Anderson, the muscular midfielder enforcer whose been showing potential for years. This Andesron looks like he’s eaten all the pies:
Manchester United: Anderson’s Instagram account shows he eats when he wants to (photos)
MANCHESTER United midfielder Anderson’s Instagram account give an insight into his true love: food. He eats when he wants to, does Anderson. Bearded Genius tweets: “Anderson’s guaranteed starter on the weekend. And main. And pudding”. Look out for Anderson loving his cupboard:
Kevin Pietersen v Andrew Strauss: doos and don’ts
WANT to know why cocksure England cricketer Kevin Pietersen isn’t playing for England? Well, one paper claims his tweets have come to light. The Mail says South African-born Pietersen tweeted that England’s South Africa captain Andrew Strauss was a “doos”. The Mail tells us:
In Afrikaans the word literally means ‘box’, but it has a slang application of ‘dumb cunt.
The paper says Pietersen most likely the messages to South African players AB de Villiers and Dale Steyn.
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Manchester United London Supporters Group salute Robin Van Persie: Liverpool fans might laugh
IS this a spoof produced by Liverpool fans to mock Manchester United? We bring you an announcement from the Manchester United London Supporters Group on the arrival of former Arsenal captain Robin Van Persie:
Manchester United London Supporters Club (MUFC London) warmly welcomes the signing of Robin Van Persie. The arrival of such a profile player at Old Trafford is a much needed boost for what has been a depressing summer for the clubs finances….
MUFC London believe a price closer to £15m would have been a better deal for our club considering Van Persie has only one year remaining. But understand the current market conditions and aggressive competition for talent with the spending power of Manchester City, Chelsea, Real Madrid, Barcelona and Paris St Germain…
Concerns are over Van Persie’s long term fitness. His fitness record at Arsenal is well documented. Last season represented his first full season free of injury since his arrival from Feyenoord in 2004.
Another slight concern is that he did not score more than 11 goals in his first 6 seasons at Arsenal. Manchester United is a different prospect for Van Persie. Our club is a breeding ground for improvement. Players that come to our club step up to perform consistently at a world class level.
This will be expected of Van Persie. The arrival of Van Persie is a much needed marquee signing for our club. It is as much to placate the fans as it is for the squad, but having the Premier Leagues top to scorers last season leading the attack will be something to behold.
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