Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Steve Bruce Tells Sunderland Fans That Football Is Even Bigger Than Newcastle
SUNDERLAND are floundering in the Premier League. A spirited performance against Arsenal resulted in no points. Sunderland’s misery is compounded by Newcastle United’s promising start to the season. What effect is this having on the team’s boss Steve Bruce?
“As long as I am the Sunderland manager, the one thing I want to do is finish above them [Newcastle], and I am sure Alan Pardew is the same” – August 2011
“Is it just to be judged on finishing above Newcastle? Well, I’m sorry. There’s a bigger picture than that. Unfortunately – if we keep thinking that way, then whoever is manager here – or at Newcastle – they will find the same difficulties” – October 2011
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Posted: 17th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Mario Balotelli’s Man City Christmas Party With Snow Coated Tiger Dwarves
THE invitation to Manchester City Christmas party is in the post. It promises to be one helluva do. It’s being organised by Mario Balotelli.
The Daily Star reports:
“Mario isn’t one for drinking and falling out of clubs, he just thinks he can take a party to the next level. But some of the lads aren’t so sure. They are half-expecting imported snow with tigers and dwarves.”
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Which Premier League Time DNA Tested Its Squad For Genetic Mutations?
WHICH Premier League club tested its players’ DNA to discover who was susceptible to injury? The Sunday Times says such a test creates “fears that it will be used to weed out players liable to injury“.
The tests were performed by Marios Kambouris, a leading molecular geneticist and assistant professor at Yale University School of Medicine.
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Posted: 16th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Premier League Photos Of The Week: Mario Balotelli’s Tummy Tickles And West Brom Are All Ears
PREMIER League Photos Of The Week:
Manchester United’s Javier Hernandez (right) scores his team’s opening goal against Liverpool.
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ITV’s Biased Studio Experts Say Sam Warburton’s Red Card Was Wrong: Spine Injuries Are OK With Steve Rider’s Team
SO. There is was. Sam Warburton, the 23-year-old captain of Wales got sent off for a stupid and dangerous tackle in the Rugby World Cup semi-final and as he walked off the pitch so went his side’s chances of victory. But the French are such a prosaic, plodding bunch of bovine flatfoots, and the Welsh so vibrant and up-for-it, that the reds almost won. The Welsh should have won, on account of scoring the game’s only try, which is the purpose of the game.
On ITV, referee Alain Rolland’s decision to dismiss Warburton was castigated. Listening to the monocular experts in the blinkered ITV studio – and how ITV must have prayed for a British win and with it a big audience for the final and lots of advertising money – the actual victim, one Vincent Clerc, was utterly forgotten. It was luck that he never landed on his head and damaged his spine.
Law 10.4 on ‘spear tackles’ reads:
“It is dangerous play to lift a player from the ground and drop or drive that player into the ground whilst that that player’s feet are still off the ground so that the player’s head and/or upper body come into contact with the ground.”
Ahead of the tournament a directive was also issued to referees:
“Foul play – high tackles, grabbing and twisting of the head and tip tackles to be emphasised, with referees to start at red and work backwards.”
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Posted: 15th, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (6)
Saudi Arabia’s Moral Police Arrest Footballer For Showing Jesus Tattoo: Rooney To Riyadh
TO Saudi Arabia, where Colombian footballer Juan Pablo Pino’s Jesus tattoos have led to his arrest.
The Saudi moral police pounced when Pino, who plays in the country’s league, displayed his ink in a Riyadh shopping mall. The local law states that tattoos must be covered at all times.
Pino expressed “deep sorrow” for his actions and after heated debate has been released.
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Will Wayne Rooney Miss Out On Lap Dancer Pilgrimage To Poland And Ukraine
HARD luck on Wayne Rooney to be banned from the first three matches of England’s Euro 2012 campaign in Poland and the Ukraine. It’s not often a football has the chance to go to the home of may of the UK’s best lap-dancers, and fears are that Rooney will now miss out on the pilgrimage entirely.
All the views:
Everton and England defender Phil Neville: “Rooney banned for 3 games what a joke – if it was a Dutch, Spanish, Italian or German player they wouldn’t even get 1 game. #fact”
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Super Flyweight Prizefighter At Liverpool Olympia: Boxing Photos
NO one said it would be easy: the Super Flyweight Prizefighter at Liverpool Olympia was brutal. Ryan Farrag’s face tells a story:
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Natasha Giggs, Stacey Giggs And Rovers’ Ryan Giggs Caught In Coronation Street Scrap
FIGHT! The Sun leads with news that Manchester United’s honourable Ryan Giggs (if only everyone was a mute as him there would be no need for super-injunctions) has allegedly been in a “street scrap” with his “mistress Natasha” and “wife Stacey”.
To the Rovers Return, Manchester, For Street Scrap. It’s the “slanging match of the day“.
On cobbles:
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Posted: 13th, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Harry Redknapp Locked Out At Spurs
SOMEONE get Harry Redknapp a set of keys to the Spurs training ground offices:
“I’ve found myself on some days leaving home at three in the morning. Then I’m outside the training ground at five, but they don’t open up until seven. I’m just sitting there, listening to the radio.”
There’s a TV show in that…
Posted: 13th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Ridiculously Greedy Liverpool Want To Sell Their Own TV Rights
LIVERPOOL FC have hit on a neat idea. They want more money than the supposedly lesser teams because they want to compete in Europe. Basically, if clubs could sell their own TV rights, then those most popular around the world could profit hugely.
They do it in Spain, where you’ll be surprised to learn, Real Madrid and Barcelona are very, very happy with the deal. Real Betis and Getafe, not so much.
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Posted: 13th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (4)
Rob Sloan Is No Cheat: Sunderland Marathon Runner Just Picked Wrong Sport
TO some, Rob Sloan embodies the spirit of clear thinking, common sense and innovation. Sloan ran a commendable 20 and a half miles of the Kielder Marathon. The course, however, was 26.2 miles. Sloan made up the shortfall by taking a bus. He breasted the finishing line in third place, at an impressive time of 2:51:00. The bronze medallion was his.
Others accused Sloan of cheating. Witnesses claimed to have seen the Sunderland Harrier get off the bus and then hide behind a tree before joining the race in a modest third place.
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Posted: 13th, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
West Ham Want You To Pay For Their Local Greed: We’re Backing Spurs And Orient
WEST Ham want to move into the Olympics Stadium. Tottenham also want to. If Spurs get the nod, then West Ham are stuffed. What boy in North-east London not already supporting Manchester United would turn down a trip to Spurs’ purpose built new ground and Premier League football in favour of a trip to Championship Upton Park? Spurs would be parking their tanks on West Ham’s lawns.
Then Newham Council decided in the face of legal wrangling to not give its bed partners West Ham a £40m loan; the Government decreed that any tenant would have to keep the stadium’s running track for 125 years, thus scuppering Spurs original plans for an excellent privately-financed single-purpose football ground; the taxpayer – yep, you! – will have to pay for the stadium to be turned into a 60,000 arena to be rented out for £2million a year; and West Ham will seek to play football in an at-best half-full ground (unless they are playing a bigger team or are bought by a very rich and very vain lunatic who also buys great players).
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Posted: 12th, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (13)
Red-Carded Wayne Rooney Behaved ‘Incredibly Well’ Says Pathetic FA
MORE nonsense about Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney as FA chief Adrian Bevington adds to Gary Neville’s pearls of wisdom. Having earned a red card for an unprovoked kick at Montenegro’s Miodrag Dzudovic in England’s Euro 2012 qualification match, Rooney then behaved like a responsible adult. Says Bevington:
“I would like to say, on the record, that Wayne conducted himself incredibly well after the game. He was very apologetic and I felt he handled it very maturely.”
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The Idiocy Of Gary Neville: Former Manchester United Stalwart Praises Wayne Rooney
CAN Gary Neville, formerly of Manchester United, talk sense in the Daily Mail – even with the help of sub-editors?
Neville is talking about England’s upcoming match against Spain.
My heart sunk as I watched Wayne Rooney being sent off against Montenegro on Friday night playing for England. But not for the same reason as most people watching the game, who will be talking about how he never learns and how he lets everyone down.
Don’t get me wrong, he can’t hide from the mistake and he was right to apologise in the dressing room afterwards.
Rooney did hide. He apologised to his team-mates in the dressing room – well away from the cameras and the fans.
When Germany’s Jürgen Kohler was once red-cared in his team’s losing match to Brazil, manager Berti Vogts made sure the player was alongside him at the post-match press conference. Kohler apologised to one and all. Rooney did not.
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Posted: 11th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (11)
England’s Manu Tuilagi Arrested: Token Samoan Finally Accepted By Dickhead Teammates
YOU know how we told you that England’s Somoan rugby international Manu Tuilagi had been the best thing about Martin Johnson’s gang of self-aggrandising cheating twats? Well, allegedly, he’s just been arrested by Auckland police after jumping from a ferry as it was about to berth. The player’s been given a pre-charge warning for disorderly behaviour and released to the bosom of his team.
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World Rejoice: England’s Randy Bores Are Out Of The Rugby World Cup
ENGLAND are out of the rugby World Cup. Good. They behaved like an oafish, belligerent, spoilt, cheating, cosseted, embarrassing bunch of cocky, misogynistic, arrogant pillocks from first to last. Good they’ve been defeated by the fighting French. The team gave lie to the legend that rugby players are not like footballers, being made of nobler and more stoic stuff. Still, at least the Somoan boy in the team tried hard.
What we need is some lighthearted relief. Here’s Stephen Jones in the Times:
“And so France went in leading 16-0, and this after Dimitri Yachvili, who played immaculately, missed three shots at goal.”
Immaculate? Well, compared to the ugly mess called England, he might well have looked immaculate…
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Posted: 9th, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (16)
Sky Spots Turns Arsenal’s Wenger Into A Bad Loser For Van Der Vaart’s Handball Celebration
SKY Sports has news on Rafael Van der Vaart:
“Van der Vaart has also criticised Arsenal for taking their defeat on Sunday with bad grace, following suggestions that his goal should not have stood and that he should have received a second yellow card for celebrating with the crowd.”
Says the Dutchman, who scored in odd circumstances:
“And have you seen how close the crowd is to our pitch? Where else should I run?”
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Wayne Rooney’s Dad Arrested: News Round-Up
WAYNE Rooney’s dad, Wayne Rooney Senior, has been arrested at his Liverpool home. Eight others have been arrested in light of an alleged football betting scam.
It is alleged that Motherwell’s Steve Jennings, also arrested, got himself sent off deliberately during a December 14, 2010 match against Herts. The player had already been booked when he harrassed the referee and earned a stright red card. Jennings allegedly asked O’Reilly when he was going to stop “cheating” his team. He then “gripped” the referee on the arm. Herts won the match 2-1.
Jennings, formerly of Tranmere Rovers, was sent off by referee Stevie O’Reilly seven minutes from time. The Mirror says he was in “Goodison Park club’s youth set-up for a short period at the same time as Wayne Rooney”.
The Association of British Bookmarkers spotted an irregular betting pattern, ranging from £200 to £500, on Jennings being red-carded. One bet, reportedly, came from “a new account opened in Liverpool…where £500 was staked at odds of 10/1”.
The news media reacts:
The front pages:
“Roon’s dad in footie bets quiz” – Daily Star
“Rooney’s agony after dad arrested on match fixing – A BOYL FROM THE BLUE” – Daily Mirror
“Wayne – your dad’s been nicked” – The Sun
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Posted: 7th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Daily Mirror Seeks Creates Arsenal Turmoil From Wojciech Szczesny’s Ambitions
MORE trouble at Arsenal. With the tabloids chipping away at the Gunners’ captain Robin Van Persie who has a mere two years to run on his contract (plenty of time, then, to lose his form, an be an overpaid player on the bench; and/or sign for Manchester City), the Daily Mirror’s Darren Lewis says the team’s ‘keeper Wojciech Szczesny as fomenting rebellion:
“Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny has added to the turmoil at Arsenal by claiming HE should captain the team… Sczczesny, 21, has added fresh controversy to the Gunners’ troubled season by insisting he is the man players listen to.”
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Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher Wants ‘Englishman’ David Moyes To Manage Chelsea And England?
LIVERPOOL’S whale-voiced defender Jamie Carragher thinks it’s wrong that foreigners can manage the English national side. He laments the fact that “English mangers don’t get the chance to win club games at the top”.
He then adds:
“Chelsea appointed a 33-year-old manager, Andre Villas-Boas, this summer. Years ago someone like David Moyes would have got that job.”
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Posted: 6th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Where Were You When Graham Dilley Lived?
WAS it was always blonde bombshell Graham’s Dilley destiny to be the answer to a pub quiz question? The England cricketer was also playing when Ian Botham and Bob Willis inspired England to that great fightback against the Australians at Headingley in 1981. Dilley is the pub quiz subject: he died on the same day as Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple; he played in 41 Tests winning – come one – how many? Yep: two.
But his career was touched by magick.
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Posted: 6th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (5)
High School Kid Austin Pacheco Launches 64 Yard Field Goal!
AMERICAN Football may well be a very, very silly game played by giant men in crash helmets, but that’s not to say it isn’t impressive.
There’s a certain trashy glamour to the sport which nothing else quite matches.
What is peculiar about American Tossball is that it is so very keen on percentages, fractions and measurements. People cheer when play is shunted on a couple of yards and everyone is told the distance thrown by star quarterbacks over a season.
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Posted: 5th, October 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
There’re Only Two Tom Cleverleys: Sun Libels Manchester United Star
IN its dash to expose unmarried Manchester Untied’s footballer as a man who might enjoy sex, the Sun linked the 22-year-old with 20-year-old Jade Dawson. The Sun quoted her recalling their alleged meeting in Blackpool club and the afters. Under the online headline “Man U ace begged me for sex at 5am (even though he’s dating)”, we were told that he “harassed a girl for sex after meeting her in a Blackpool nightclub”:
“He got on top of me to try to have sex with me but I told him to get off. He even woke me at 5am for sex but I still said ‘No'”.
The Man U ace – called up last week to the England squad – took her phone, put in his number saying, “Text me later if you want a s**g”.
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Roberto Mancini Brown Noses And Paul Ince Tempts Fate At Football Dream Date Dinner
YAHOO!’S The Dugout asked a platoon of footballer managers and pundits who they would like to have dinner with. The stand-out answers are from: Paul Ince – who might or might not be into an open marriage – Sam Allardyce for picking someone he could actually have dinner with (Alex…you there? Alex…?); Simon Grayson for masochism; David Moyes for his impression of Anthony Perkins in Psycho; Roberto Mancini for brown nosing; and Neil Warnock for his blunt views on the monarchy:
Breakdown of results
Gianfranco Zola – Father, wife, Diego Maradona
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