Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Commonwealth Games 2010 Photos: Prince Charles And Camilla’s Unfurled Tampon
COMMONWEALTH Games 2010 In Photos: Prince Charles is in India to oversee the colonials and see if the swimmers disappear down a huge plug hole when two toilets are flushed in the athletes village. As ever, the pictures are brilliant, especially the one of Camilla with a tampon-themed umbrella. Charles should enjoy that.
Can you create a caption for Picture 1?
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Ryder Cup Photos 2010 Day 2: Holly Sweeney Spots Tiger Woods’ Goose
RYDER Cup 2010 photos: Golf is not all about sex and Tiger Woods. It’s also about foursomes, fourballs, the back nine and birdies in holes and men gripping shafts. It’s not all about the sex – but it might as well be. Amid our photos of Day 2 of the Ryder Cup are pictures of Rory McIlroy’s girlfriend Holly Sweeney, who looks like a young Hayley Mills and is happy to be noticed…
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Beckham And Shery Shabani Photos: The Model Stands In
DAVID Beckham is linked to Shery Shabani – he’s mentioned in the woman’s divorce papers. Shery’s husband Joseph has, allegedly, made some comments about the mum-of-two having sex with Becks.
Shery says it is nonsense. Becks laughs it off. And the husband offers no proof. But the Sun needs to sell the front page nonstory – and what better way to do that than with photos of a fit young woman on its front page.
Is that Shery? If it is she’s a bit of alright, eh, readers. Only it’s not her. It’s a model showing of Shery’s jewel designs on a website.
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Ryder Cup Photos Day 1: Tiger Woods Shares His Umbrella With A Man
THE Ryder Cup is underway in sunny Wales. And Tiger Woods is out to prove that two men can share an umbrella in a way that screams of heterosexuality…
Ryder Cup Photos: Tiger Woods Checks Out Katherine Jenkins’ Bum At The MILF International
Jorge ‘Giant’ Gonzales RIP: Killed By Height
OBITUARY of The Week: Jorge “Giant” Gonzalez
The former WWF wrestler died at just 44 years of age due to “issues
from being 7 ft 7 in“.
Death by height…
Posted: 1st, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Commonwealth Games: Dehli To Be Twinned With Slough As Typhoid Strikes Chief Medical Officer
MORE Commonwealth Games news as the event’s chief medical officer Tarun Garg is off work with a suspected bout of typhoid.
But rest assured that all is well. Although if you are going to the stadium in Delhi and thinking of fainting or falling ill take care to collapse into a neat ball shape. One woman who passed out at the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium was placed on a stretcher and taken to a lift that would transport her to the first floor medical rooms. Only, the stretcher could not fit inside.
Away from the filth and cock-ups, the talk is of Islamic militants targeting the games. Can they hurry up. Come friendly bombs and all on the stadium.
John Betjeman was right…
Posted: 1st, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Commonwealth Games: Delhi Assaults Senses With Vuvuzela
COMMONWEALTH Games: Just when you thought the Commonwealth Games could not get any worse they started selling vuvuzelas. Delhi’s assault on the senses continues…
Lest we forget:
Irma Nici Linked To Tiger Woods As Madam Defends Beckham: Photos
IRMA Nici and David Beckham update time now, readers. Having decided for whatever reason that Irma Nici is a liar, the Sun seeks to confirm it by sharing a few words with Michelle Braun, a madam.
Says Michelle:
“If he had been hiring call girls and sleeping around in America, I would have heard about it.”
Every time a prostitute shags a famous name, Michelle Braun gets informed, either by a Post It note or a “ping” via the Trans-Atlantic Report System (TART)?
You can trust Braun, who was once sentenced to three years probation and six months house arrest for money laundering and moving a tart across state lines “for purposes of prostitution”.
And if that wasn’t all the facts you needed to damn Irma Nici, Braun goes on to say:
“Beckham has never been involved with working girls. He is too goody two-shoes for that.”
Well, there is not proof that he has. The story is based on the word of Irma Nici and nothing more. Although another madam, one Kirstin Davis, supports Irma’s story.
Anyhow, what about the facts. Who is Braun? The Sun’s Pete Samson tells us:
Braun says she supplied escorts, including Loredana Jolie, to…Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods’ Women photos (alleged)
That would be good two-shoes Tiger Woods, the man who right up until he was caught allegedly cheating on his wife with loadsa women was presented as being so clean he passed soap?
If Beckham is looking for allies, he can do better than the Sun and a madam. Best Becks stick to the lawyers…
Other women have been linked to Beckham – allegedly:
Posted: 30th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
Ryder Cup Photos: Zeta Jones Dazzles Tiger Woods At Welcome To Wales Party
KATHERINE 
were there scatter some starlight at the Welcome to Wales concert at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff ahead of the Ryder Cup. Zeta Jones stopped to tell one and all about her ill husband Michael Douglas:
“Michael will be glued to anything that has a golf ball and a club, but especially the Ryder Cup.”
Once a sex addict…
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Paul Gascoigne Sees Raoul Moat In The Stars
RAOUL Moat is back ain the news, and so is Paul Gascoigne.
At the height of the hunt for the Facebook Legend and murderer, Gascoigne invited “Moaty” for a pint, a fish, some chicken and a natter.
Paul Gascoigne’s Radio Appeal To Raoul Moat: Audio And Pictures
Now Gazza says:
“Did I know him? No! I was sitting in the house and I was bored. Then I started having a few drinks and he just came on the headlines.
“I went: ‘Oh, I know him.’ But did I know him? No! I got some chicken, a fishing rod, a couple of cans and a blanket to keep him warm and got in a taxi. I remember being stopped by the police.
“I said: ‘I’m going to see me mate Moaty.’ The police were laughing their heads off…
“I remember saying: ‘I know where he is,’ and they asked where and I said: ‘The helicopter light’s on him.’ They said: ‘Paul, that’s a star.’”
Gascoigne is now thinking about accepting an offer to manage Garforth Town. It being what Moat would have wanted…
Paul Gascoigne’s Radio Appeal To Raoul Moat: Audio And Pictures
Irma Nici Calls David Beckham A ‘Whore’: Photos
IRMA Nici, aka Irma Nezirovic, is the prostitute who says she had sex with David Beckham and the tabloids have called a liar. No proof that she had sex with Beckhams has been offered up, nor evidence that he masturbated with own-brand, hotel-supplied cream (what – no Cream De Placenta and cashmere mitten?!). But the tabloids claim to know one thing for certain: Irma Nici is a liar.
Says Irma Nici:
“I very much look forward to my day in court and the opportunity to tell the truth. I will be completely vindicated and Mr Beckham will be seen for the manipulative whore he is.”
The Star says she is willing to take lie detector test.
HOOKER Irma Nici is willing to take a lie detector test over her claims of three-in-a-bed sex with David Beckham.
The Mail produces the headline:
“Beckham, the hooker… and the tawdry claims she CAN’T prove”
Readers hear the words of Los Angeles attorney Bert H. Deixler he sent to In Touch, the magazine that published Nici’s claims:
“Let me make it clear. The story you propose to run about Mr Beckham and a prostitute is a lie. The allegations are unequivocally denied.”
If the story is published then it would end in an “enormous damages award”.
“Once again I urge you in the strongest possible terms not to bring these lawsuits upon yourself.”
Is a threatening letter from a lawyer enough? Again we say that there is no evidence Beckham has had sex with Irma Nici. But what are lawyers for if not firing off threatening letters?
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Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)
Ryder Cup Photos: Tiger Woods Sleeps With US Team In Huge ‘Team Building’ Bed
THE Ryder Cup photos: Tiger Woods has landed in the UK and cocktail waitresses are excited. Woods and his fellow players are delighted to be here – a free flight, a round of golf at a swanky resort and no need to buy a timeshare in Wales. Happy days. And in a rare display of team cohesion all players have agreed to share one huge bed.
Says Woods:
With my Nike carbon fibre, tungsten–impregnated Titanium Sheet ™ I will keep my mind on golf and not shag on porn star nor even dream about one in a depraved fantasy. Should sheets disappoint, the Nike duvet cover in forged Titanium and soft carbon will ensure little room for escape. Also Corey Pavin will be sat on my chest.”
Irma Nici And David Beckham: What Really Happened (Photos)
WHEN Irma Nici claimed to have had sex with Davie Beckham, the British tabloids all agreed that she was a “liar”. It is unclear why this should be the case.
A prostitute we do not know makes a claim in US magazine In Touch that she had had sex with the married Beckham and the papers call her story a “tissue of lies” (Mail), “brazen liar” (Sun), “hooker sex lies” (Star), “pack of lies” (News of The World) and more.
Bert Deixler, a spokesman for Beckham’s LA attorney, said:
“We would be very, very interested in seeing the results of a polygraph on this woman.”
Irma Nici was on the books of Kristin Davis, the madam who brought down New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, and who is now standing for that job on a ticket of legalised marijuana and prostitution. Davis says Irma is telling the truth.
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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (7)
Commonwealth Games: Indian Boxer’s Bed Collapses (Video And Photos)
COMMONWEALTH Games: To Delhi where Indian Akhil Kumar, a boxing champion, has sat on his bed int eh ehtlest village and felt it collspe benath him. Kumar wons gol;d at the 2006 Melbourne Games fifhgitn in the 54kilogrmase division.
Says he:
“When I sat down on my bed to take a rest, it collapsed. It was quite scary. I later discovered that there was no plywood under the mattress, it had just been placed on the frame.”
And her comes out old pal and Indian official Shelia Dikshit to say:
“All efforts are being made to hold a successful games.”
On a personal note, your writer once stayed in Delhi . I pulled back the pillow on my bed and exposed an ants’ nest. Or “auxiliary builders”, as the Indian authorities now call them…
The Photos are Brilliant:
Commonwealth Games: Brilliant Pictures Of The POW Camp-Themed Athletes Village And Banned Skateboards
THE Commonwealth Games in Delhi are going to be must-see telly.
Will the pool leak all the water before the swimmer completes his lap? Will runners in lane 7 have an unfair advantage because their track is downhill?
Will anyone escape from the village that looks like a POW camp in wartime..?
Premier League Photo: Liverpool Turn Ugly, Arsenal Lose Defence And Man City Climb
IN the Premier League: Liverpool forgot to be nice against Sunderland; Arsenal forgot to defend against West Brom; and Chelsea lost to Manchester City in battle of rich men’s play things… On Pies.
Irma Nici’s Lesbian Sex: Trapped In New York As David Beckham Issues Writ
DAVID Beckham has sent detectives to find Irma Nici, the prostitute who claims she slept with him in 2007. And they have. She is said to be in a hotel in New York.
The Mirror says the sleuth has “trapped” the “tart”.
There is no escape for you, Irma La Douchebag. New York is surrounded by a thin black line of Victoria Beckham.
The NoTW has a photo of a woman it also calls a “tart” and news that Beckham’s men are waiting to slap her with a $25m writ. Why stop at $25m?Make it round $50m, Dave. That’ll learn her.
The writ is for:
- LIBEL
- SLANDER
- INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS
He “DEMANDS A JURY TRIAL”.
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Posted: 25th, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (26)
Fine Photos Of Abu Dhabi’s Manchester City Beating Siberia’s Chelsea
MANCHESTER City beat Chelsea 1-0 and there is much dancing in the streets of Abu Dhabi tonight. You see, Hamid, that slice of the GDP spent on Vieira, Toure, Adebayor and every other former Arsenal player (and the Gunners work at the Emirates) was worth it. You are winners. And somewhere in Siberia a man coughs into the pint of flavoured water, tosses another spider onto the fire and wonders if backing Mr Abramovich to win the big one for the Blues was the wisest investment…
Commonwealth Games Photos: England Expected To Clean Up In Delhi, Literally
GOODBYE Team England. We looked on as they headed to Delhi for a date with rubber gloves, tinned food and the Modern Pentathlon.
First in are the England hockey team. Take look at their faces, readers. These are the best damn cleaners in British Athletics. Next to arrive will be the keen pro-amateur grouters of the weightlifting team. Then the long jumper tillers and so on. If the Commonwealth is about coming together, then it is up to Great Britain to lead the way.
And if we can invade Poland without delay and get some of their workmen onside, then so much the better…
Posted: 24th, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Real Madrid’s Kaka Sings With A Celico
REAL Madrid crock Kaka has apparently been filling his copious downtime with the kind of wholesome pursuits that you’d expect a man of God to, including taking the time out to write and record this hauntingly beautiful duet with his not-unattractive wife Caroline Celico.
Hear it on PIES
Delhi Athletes’ Village In Pictures: Commonwealth Games Sink Estate
PICTURES of the athletes’ village at the Commonwealth Games show the place resembling a sink estate in, say, Scotland. This might explain why the Scotland team have delayed their trip to India. Why bother travelling when you can experience urban decay, poverty and begging right at home.
Posted: 23rd, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
Stephen Ireland Bright Home In Photos: Jane Moir Compares His Dog To His Daughter
ASTON Villa’s Stephen Ireland and his lovely wife Jessica Lawlor showed us their Cheshire home in Come Dine Wife Me. On the show, Lawlor came across as likeable, fun and well aware that the home.
This is Ireland who once pretended his grandmother had died in order to get out of playing for Ireland. But his mum’s mum Patricia Tallon was live. Ireland then said it was his dad’s mother who had died. But Brenda Kitchener was also alive and had read about her death in a newspaper.
Although upsetting for all concerned, it’s hard not to like Stephen Ireland.
Unless you’re Jan Moir, who looks at the photos and compares the couple’s dog to their daughter:
Ireland… is also pictured posing on a grey sofa with Jessica and their pet Chihuahua, which could pass as the couple’s four-legged love child.
Nice. Want to see the photos, including one of said of the five-year-old dog’s daughter’s room?
Images via Express & Star
Posted: 23rd, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
Newcastle Beat Chelsea In League Cup Thriller: Photos
NEWCASTLE beat Chelsea in the Carling Cup and football looks competitive, unpredictable and fun – something better than the Premier League procession in which the biggest wallet wins. Of course, the League Cup, as it is, is billed as a Mickey Mouse contest for a tin pot while the Premier League is the apogee of life. Here are the photos for all your Geordies…
Commonwealth Games: Millions Tune In To See Who Will Die In Delhi
THE Commonwealth Games risked being a non-event until the boffins in Delhi enlivened it with a new Modern Pentahlon. Who now cannot resits tuning it not see:
CEILING LIFT
The ceiling has collapsed in the weightlifting zone. Can the Welsh team keep it up before the plasterboard crushes them to death?
PIPE VAULT
As the floor gives way, pole vaulters have just seconds to chose an implement with which to cross the growing divide – plastic, copper or lead (controversial).
LONG JUMP
The pedestrian bridge has collapsed. Bits of it may collapse beneath you as you run. Look on as the athletes defy gravity – for a bit before plummeting into a huge hole. Added pints for screams, somersaults and twists.
DENGUE RUN
Marvel as the rhythmic gymnasts use fly swats and lengths of double-sided sticky tape tied to ribbon to run through the athletes’ village.
DOWN THE DUNNY
The swimming pool is filling up with raw sewerage from the pipe beneath the diving boards. On the command “FLUSH!” the swimmers dive in and swim desperately away from the toxic tide.
Says one sports fan: “Fiver says Pakistan wins.”
Posted: 22nd, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (6)
Runyonesque Arsenal Outclass Spurs In League Cup Photos
THINGS are happening at Arsenal Football Club, winners of the League Cup game with local rivals Spurs by four goals to one. It’s not so much the action as the names of the players that catches the eye. Step forward and take a bow to the club members Henri Lansbury, scorer of The Gunners’ first goal, a refulgent strike.
Runyonesque names are in vogue once more at Arsenal, a side that boats board members of such calibre as Peter Hill-Wood (chairman), Sir Chips Keswick, Lord Harris of Peckham, ‘Silent’ Stanley Kroenke, Lady Nina Bracewell-Smith and Danny Fiszman. Kroenke bought shares off Lady Sarah Phipps-Bagge. For added intrigue, the battle for Arsenal ownership figures an Uzbek billionaire named Alisher Usmanov.
Wonderful stuff. And ripe for Henri Lansbury to fit right in…
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