Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Pakistan’s Ijaz Butt Gives Strauss’s England Too Much Credit As Yawar Saeed Signals The End
THE laughable accusation that England’s cricketers are in control of their actions to such a degree that Strauss’s men can fix the result of a cricket match is entertaining stuff. Couple this with the diving MCC member and cricket may yet be the hottest comedy show in town.
While Pakistan cricket’s head honcho Ijaz Butt – Hugh Jarse’s cousin (thanks to reader Yampster for the investigation) – Pakistan team manager Yawar Saeed was coming and going at a reception of the Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington, London.
Do you think he’s trying to tell us something..?
Ronnie O’Sullivan Not Bothered To Pot One Ball For £4000
NEVER let it be said that Ronnie O’Sullivan is in snooker for the money alone. At the World Open event, The Rocket made a 147 break during a routine win over Mark King.
But he might not have had the referee not invited him back to pot the final black. During the frame, O’Sullivan had asked referee Jan Verhaas if there was prize money available for the highest break (thanks Tilly). There is. It’s £4,000. There is no special prize for a maximum.
Around nine minutes after potting the first ball, O’Sullivan pots the pink to take his break to 140 and goes to walk off.
Says O’Sullivan:
“What’s the point of making a 147 if you’re only going to make £4,000?”
Make it 4k a ball for a maximum and O’Sullivan will get a 147 every time.
Right..?
Posted: 21st, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Pakistan Fight With England At Lord’s Upstaged By Greatest Catch Ever: Video
PAKISTAN and England “brawl” at Lord’s one-day cricket match screams the Sun. The action on the pitch ends with a Pakistan victory. Off the pitch, the talk is of a spat between Jonathan Trott (England) and Wahab Riaz (Pakistan).
There is talk of Trott grabbing Riaz’s throat and four-letter abuse. Trott is said to have asked of Riaz:
“How much money are you going to make from the bookies?”
Riaz, not the swiftest thinker, fails to respond:
“Why? What you getting?”
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Who Cares If Pakistan And England Cheat At Cricket So Long As We Get Served At The Bar?
PAKISTAN cheat at cricket, allegedly, – and it is the biggest sports scandal ever! But – what’s this? – Pakistan say England cheat at cricket, which makes it the biggest sports scandal ever*. Things more fast in cricket.
(* Unless a footballer shags a prostitute, in which it’s demoted.)
The England team says the accusations from the Pakistan Cricket Board chairman are “wholly irresponsible” and “defamatory“.
Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) chairman Mr Ijaz Butt (serious name for a serious man) tells people in his homeland tuning in to watch the cricket news on the telly:
“There is loud and clear talk in bookie circles that some English players have taken enormous amounts of money to lose the match [the third ODI]. No wonder there was such a collapse.”
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Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (7)
WAGs Hire Wayne Rooney ‘Hooker’ Jennifer Thompson To Avoid Football
HAVING pulled and married Wayne Rooney, the latest news is that Coleen Rooney is “refusing” to be his WAG and attend Manchester United football matches.
The Sun quotes her as telling Wayne: “Don’t ask me to act like a WAG.”
So. That’s an end to the shopping and the, er, shopping Coleen.
But better than that, it’s a word of encouragement for all WAGS out there that you don’t have to watch your footballer kick a ball about for hours on end if he is linked to a prostitute.
Prostitutes can cost less than the £1,200 (A ‘Manolo’ in WAG speak) Rooney is alleged to have paid Jennifer Thompson for a shag. (Photos.)
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David Beckham, The LA Thai Massage Parlour And The NoTW’s Paywall
KNICKERS off to the NoTW’s James Desborough for writing an article about David Beckham getting a Thai massage and making it sound like so much more.
Following the Pakistan cricket sting – a good story laughably hyped as the“the most sensational sporting scandal ever” and Wayne Rooney’s alleged sex with prostitute Jennifer Thompson (a story first broken by the Mirror), the NoTW needs to come up with a sensation every week. And with the NoTW online going behind a paywall, the need to deliver the goods is even more acute. But if no scandal is brewing, the next best thing is to suggest there might be one.
Desborough is no keen amateur. In 2009, he won the showbiz reporter of the year prize at the British Press awards for his “uncompromising scoops which mean no celebrity with secrets can sleep easy“.
But what is the scoop just isn’t there and space needs filling with sex and stars? Get a load of this from Mr Desborough. The headline informs us:
David Beckham visits cheap Thai massage parlour
Cheap?
The England and LA Galaxy striker visited the Lamai Thai Massage shop last week when wife Victoria was in Britain.
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Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Manchester United’s Wonderful Dimitar Berbatov Destroys Liverpool – In Photos
ANORAK spent the day in Old Trafford watching Manchester United play Liverpool – they won 3-2. Although no fan of either team, only a fool would not thrill to the sight of Dimitar Berbatov. Here’s a player whose movement, grace and timing smack of the great players of the 1950s. How Tottenham must regret selling this class act. Football in not all about the vanity and the shags. At it’s best it’s the beautiful game. And Berbatov is football at its very best…
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Harry Redknapp’s 3 Subs Score All Three Goal As Spurs Beat Wolves: Photos
BELIEF renewed at Tottenham as they came from behind to see off a vibrant Wolves. Steven Fletcher’s opener for Wolves never looked to be enough as Spurs created chances. But it was only a penalty that saw the scores level, as Van der Vaart, on as a replacement for Lennon, scored the spot kick. Indeed, this was a day for super-subs as Roman Pavlyuchenko, on for Keane, and then Alan Hutton (replaced Kaboul) also scored. Harry Redknapp’s a genius, isn’t he..?
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Pakistan’s Better Team Beat England And The Pope At The Oval: In Great Photos
PAKISTAN are in danger of leaving the UK under laurels rather than a cloud as they beat England at the Oval with a display of skill, craft and guts. And even better than that are the photos, which under the floodlights at the Oval made everything look greener and brighter and better. Betting scandal? What betting scandal. The better’s team won. And watch out for the Pope…
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London Olympics News: McDonald’s Clean Up In Ugly East End
LONDON Olympics 2011: McDonald’s cleans up. Marathon moved from ugly East End. Somalia’s al-Shabaab make ready to attack:
* “In our main restaurant at Olympic Park, every hour will be three times as busy as our current busiest outlet in the UK,” said UK vice-president Steve Easterbrook, in remarks to the Sport Industry Breakfast Club. Around 14 million meals will be sold, of which a McDonald’s meal will be one in five.” – MoreThanTheGames
The baton will be replaced by a massive giant French Fry and medal by stars pinned to an anthlete’s vest.
* The Pope said: “In view of London’s forthcoming Olympic Games, it has been a pleasure to inaugurate this Sports Foundation, named in honour of Pope John Paul II. Pope John Paul II, who died in 2005, was a keen football player in his youth, and was known to jog in the Vatican gardens, hike regularly in the mountains and was a keen swimmer – This Is London
Pope Benedict prefers to travel by car and planet and only walks on carpet.
* “OLYMPIC organisers have been accused of snubbing the East End by moving the marathon towards central London. It emerged this week that 2012 chiefs are considering a course that takes in the most recognisable capital landmarks like the Houses of Parliament, St Paul’s Cathedral and Tower Bridge.
“The race is likely to break with tradition by not finishing in the Olympic Stadium – reportedly because broadcasters feel the East End would not provide an interesting enough backdrop for television viewers”. – Docklands 24
* Britain can expert Somali militants from al-Shabaab to launch an attack in the country, the leader of British intelligence services warned.
Jonathon Evans warned an audience at the Worshipful Company of Security Professionals in London that al-Shabaab may be an emerging threat to Great Britain.
“I am concerned that it’s only a matter of time before we see terrorism on our streets inspired by those who are today fighting alongside al-Shabaab.”
Adding
Evans said he was concerned that al-Qaida and rebel groups fighting in Northern Ireland could endanger the 2012 Olympics in London. – Upi
Alex Reid Aims To Give Tom ‘Kong’ Watson A Good Tanning: Photos
TOM ‘Kong’ Watson posed for his upcoming Bamma title fight against Alex ‘Tango’ Reid, in Birmingham. The theory goes that the smaller the event, the bigger and more flashy the trophy. So. Get a load of Watson’s belt, his by right as the reigning BAMMA middleweight champion. If anyone has lost a hubcap from a 1965 Cadillac, get in touch. As for the photos… Well, the men posed stripped to the waist in jeans and tanning gels and Reid pulled what seemed to be a “spaz” face. It’s the noble art, laydees and gentalllmeeeeennn
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After Jennifer Thompson Is Wayne Rooney Off To Bangkok – With Coleen?
HURRAH for Jennifer Thompson and Helen Wood, two girls selfless enough to lay down their bodies for Wayne Rooney, allegedly. But not everyone is getting behind, under and on top of the England striker, who is being forced to head to “VICE CITY”. No, not Manchester, nor even Bristol, but Bangkok.
The Daily Star brings front-page news of Coleen Rooney’s “FURY” that Wayne is taking a trip to the “VICE CAPTIAL”. She is right to be upset. If a top level footballer, a national treasure, is forced to travel thousands of miles in pursuit of paid-for sex, then we are all the losers.
And the Star says John Terry, Ashley Cole and Peter Crouch might all go too. They and more top-level players could go to Bangkok under the guise of an England football team playing Thailand – at football!
Says one WAGS:
“Coleen will go nuts. That’s the last place on Earth she’ll want Wayne to go, particularly without her.”
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Posted: 17th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (10)
Photos Of Arsenal Make Mug Shots Of Braga
ARSENAL tonk Braga 6-0 in the Champions League and looking through our photos of the match – past the picture of Fabregas scoring and making goals; Arshavin’s tongue and Chamakh’s hair – we see the real action was on the Braga bench. Those faces. That hair. Those pouts. Out pick is Barbosa – whose photo was last seen in the window of Mr Topps on Goodge Street in 1982…
Bahrain Beat ‘Fake’ Togo Team 3-0 – Togo No Record Of Match
WHEN Togo played Bahrain on September 7th, the Bahrainis thought it was the Togolese national soccer team. The hosts won 3-0.
Only some of those Togo players looks less than great. And the story get about that they are a fake team. Calls go out and Togo’s soccer federation says the team that played is bogus.
Togo’s sport minister, Christophe Tchao, tells the Jeune Afrique magazine that nobody in Togo had “ever been informed of such a game“.
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London Olympics 2012: Pope Opens Sports Club And Weymouth Bans Fishermen
LONDON 2012 Olympics: Anorak’s look at the Olympics in the news: the Pope opens a new centre, Weymouth forgets its on, and Westminster wants more money…
The Pope Runs
Pope Benedict XVI is to launch the John Paul II Foundation for Sport at St Mary’s University College, Twickenham. The current Pope’s predecessor was a keen footballer. Pope Benedict was more into the marching in his youth.
Fishing Is Not an Olympic Sport
Weymouth and Portland Borough Council has banned fishermen, divers and ferries from using the waters during the Olympics. And the workers get no compensation.
* A fisherman’s right to land his catch freely in any part of Britain originates in the White Herring Fisheries Act 1771.
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Photos Explain Why Arsenal Suffer So Many Injuries: Rosicky Tries to Decapitate Eboue
EVER wonder why Arsenal get a lot of injuries? Already this season – now in its fourth week – Arsenal have lost Nasri, Van Persie, Frimpong and Walcott. Children do fall over in the playground a lot, granted. But the reason might be because Arsenal are their own worst enemies.
Wenger’s side have to produce an event to rival Tony Adams dropping Steve Morrow (the Arsenal captain dropped this teammate during a celebration and broke his arm). But when Carlos Vela scored the Gunners’ fourth against Bolton, Rosicky came rushing in and smacked Eboue in the head.
More injuries to follow…
Football every day on Pies
Posted: 12th, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (12)
Video: Is This Worst Goalkeeping Howler Of All Time?
KHALID Askri, (Factoid: his name means ‘Robert Green’ in Arabic) is goalkeeper with Morocco’s FAR Rabat, makes the save from the Moghreb Fes hitman.
As the ball bounces of his manliness, he spins to take the prise of the crowd. His chest puffed out like Katie Price on national service, Askri is the man who knows. He is the man that does.
He is the man who turned his back on the ball and failed to spot it spin back over the line.
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In Photos: No Wayne Rooney As Sexy Everton Draw 3-3 With Manchester United
NO Wayne Rooney as Manchester Untied visited Everton. Where was he? Who can say? We’d ask his wife, but Coleen might not know. What we do know is that without him United were 3-1 up as the game went into injury time.
Wayne’s women – alleged – in NSFW photos
It was the perfect moment for a small cameo from Rooney and the game is won. But it is not to be as the Toffees fire two to make the score 3-3. Thrilling stuff at Goodison Park. And Rooney costs his side 2 points.
The football saying tells us that scoring a goal is better than sex. Rooney might be inclined to agree…
Gamblers Win Big As Aamer, Asif And Butt Leave UK (Photos)
HATS off to any gamblers who put their money on Mohammad Aamer (aka Mohammed Amir), Mohammad Asif and Salman Butt leaving the UK today. The correct order of departure was Aamer, Butt, Asif. So hard cheese on your sad pillocks with ‘MUG’ written on your foreheads (surely seasoned form followers? – ed) who put your money on the much-fancied Butt, Aamer, Asif line.
As our photos show, the lads looked so sad to be leaving the cold of the UK to return to their native Pakistan, where a huge magic carpet awaits for all the ills to be swept under…
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Wayne Rooney’s Sex Sandwich, Jennifer Thompson’s Gangster Lover And A Turnip
WAYNE Rooney’s alleged sex with prostitutes Jennifer Thompson and Helen Wood might see him murdered? That seems to be the opinion of James Lawton, who tells Star readers:
Wayne Rooney’s threesome could cost more than his marriage after it was revealed the boyfriends of both vice girls are gangsters.
So what will it cost him? Jenny Thompson says Rooney paid her an arm and a leg (£1,500) for a shag. Will the co-called gangster take the other limbs?
The headline tells Rooney:
“Be afraid Wayne… be VERY afraid.”
News is that Jenny Thompson’s “lover Jared Jones, 27, is a convicted armed robber”. He is “on the run and being hunted by police across Europe”.
So. Jones is in hiding, a desperate and wanted man keen to lie low. Which is why he “has angrily dumped the 21-year-old brunette since she went public with her £1,200 Rooney session, and according to pals has vowed revenge.”
Rooney will be at Goodison Park tomorrow for Manchester untied match with Everton. He will be wearing his name on his back and the Number 10. If Jones wants to find him, it might not be that tricky.
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The Truth About Jennifer Thompson’s ‘Pal’ And Rooney’s Ladies
WAYNE Rooney’s sex life is front-page news. Jennifer Thompson says she shagged the Manchester United striker. Helen Wood’s ‘source’ says she joined in for a threesome. And Sarah Tetteh, Rebecca Hayes Samii Darnley and Coleen Rooney all are reported to have knocked Rooney back in front-page news.
Rooney is proving to be far from lucky with the ladies.
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Posted: 9th, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Wayne Rooney And Coleen’s No Sex Meeting As More Woman Reveal All
WAYNE Rooney only had sex with Jennifer Thompson and Helen Wood (both alleged) because, as an “INSIDER” tells Star readers they stopped having sex while she was pregnant.
As ever there is no word form either Coleen nor Wayne, so the story might well be tabloid fantasy.
The story now seems to be that Wayne had sex with Jennifer Thompson and Helen Wood, but did not have sex with Sarah Tetteh, Samii Darnley, Rebecca Hayes or Coleen Rooney.
Those scores: Shags 2: No Shags 4
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Wayne Rooney And Rebecca Hayes’ No Sex Stag Night: Photos
SARAH Tetteh did not have sex with Wayne Rooney in a toilet. And neither did Rebecca Hayes. Finding women who haven’t had sex with Wayne Rooney is proving to be pretty easy for the Mirror.
Tetteh is the paper’s 3am Girl who says she was invited to join Wayne in the bogs. Hayes is the air stewardess who claims Rooney tried to shag her on his Stag Do.
Her no sex with Rooney is the Mirror’s front-page news. The headline is “ROO SWINE”.
Hayes says that while on his Stag do in 2008, Rooney was “really nice” but then she found him “lecherous and flirty”.
Tetteh told us:
“Don’t you know that everyone is looking, Wayne. Let’s just dance.” And when he realised I wasn’t budging he just continued weaving on the dancefloor, leaving us in hysterics.
Wayne is funny and “nice”. He also scores for England. Rooney continues to be presented as likeable and a down-to-earth bloke with a god-given talent who may have shagged a prostitute and who despite his wealth and fame finds it hard to pull.
As Anorak reader CoolAndCalm puts it:
why does this apply to Wayne Rooney and not to Ashley Cole? all the pundits agreed that Cole was the best player throughout the World Cup yet still he is castigated across the media and by the jeering crowds.
Both are cheating rats but it seems its a far greater sin to cheat on the ethereal St Cheryl of Malaria than it is to cheat on the relatively normal Coleen.
Ashley = love rat
Wayne = one of the ladsThe cult of celebrity 2010
Maybe, the tabloids just prefer our footballers who white and not that good looking because they better gel with the readers?
Tabloids Link Wayne Rooney’s Alleged Shag Jennifer Thompson To Ashley Cole
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Posted: 8th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Tabloids Link Wayne Rooney’s Alleged Shag Jennifer Thompson To Ashley Cole
JENNIFER Thompson did not travel with Wayne Rooney to Switzerland. But the Manchester United player did score (geddit?).
The Mail says Thompson shagged another footballer, having “boasted to classmates” (she was, allegedly, 17) that she had shagged El Hadji Diouf, who was then playing for Bolton Wanderers. She “claimed he paid her £200 to sleep with him when she was 17”.
Diouf has yet to respond to the allegation.
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Posted: 8th, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Wayne Rooney Scores for England And Fans Could Not Give A Toss About His Private Life: Photos
WAYNE Rooney scored on the pitch for England in the UEFA Euro 2012 qualifying match at St Jakob Park Stadium, Basel, Switzerland. And all the fans agreed that so long as he scores on the pitch they do not give a damn what he gets up to in private – and that includes shagging your partner/ wife/ mother, sister or pets – or all of them at once – if it mean England wins the World Cup.
In fact, if Rooney can guarantee a winning goal in the final of one of the big two tournaments, our patron Old Mr Anorak is willing to serve up wives 2 through 5 and a large percentage of his Thai ping-pong team…
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Posted: 7th, September 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (7)
