Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Fabio Capello Is Getting More Italian The Worse England Do
THE Countdown to CRAPello – the moment when Fabio Capello is blamed for England’s World Cup failure is go.
Today, Capello sit eh comedy Italian.
The Sun leads with:
“JT, he make-a big-a mistake-a.”
Capello is “The Squadfather”.
The Mirror leads with:
“Shaddaup ya face!”
In case you missed the news that Capeallo is now more Italian than he was when England were winning matches under his firm hand and playing pretty good football, Ronnie Irani tells TalkSport listeners:
“If someone English were in change for this World cup England would have a great chance to going all the way.”
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World Cup Photos: Spain’s Fabregas Yawns As Honduras Wrestle
SPAIN v Honduras proved that there are easy games in the World Cup – as if any further proof were needed after Portugal sent North Korea’s valiant players back to the demarcation zone ‘Sea of Mines’ with 7-0 thumping. England v Slovenia should be just as straightforward.
If John Terry can channel his ego into strikes on goal, England will run out 9-0 winners.
But we must give some credit to Honduras; or at least to their fans. They produced a display of masks not seen since wrestling was last broadcast on ITV’s World of Sport on rainy Saturday afternoons. Gerard Pique continued with his impression of The Mummy. Photos:
In Pictures: North Korea Beat Portugal 0-8 As Kim Il Ronaldo Runs Riot
WORLD CUP: TO the people of the DPRK we say hearty congratulations as the Portuguese anti-Japanese revolutionary martyrs score seven goals on the occasion of the 46th anniversary of General Secretary Kim Jong Il’s start of work at the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party of Korea. Let this be the start of ongoing and fruitful relations between Portugal and the DPRK for millennia. Tonight a parade by the National Council for the Promotion of the Reunification by Federal Pomade, the Solidarity for 5-4-1 and the People’s Solidarity for the Repeal of the “National Security Law”, aka Ronaldo’s cha-cha.
NOTE: teh e game ended 7-0 but Kim Jong-Il whas awarded the Porgue another goal for expressing full support for the just cause of the Korean people.
Now That’s What I Call Vuvuzela 2: More Great Vuvuzela Pictures
THE Vuvuzela is ruining your World Cup? Not a bit of it. Thanks to an insipid England and John Terry, the vuvuzela is not the most upsetting thing in South Africa. Indeed, we have come to appreciate it. Anorak has scoured the web and now presents more greatest vuvuzela pictures ever – what we call: “Now That’s What I Call Vuvuzela 2! – The Victoria Beckham Opus.”
Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (7)
John Terry Is England’s Player Manager As He Guns For Capello: Words And Pictures
AH, the passion. Ivory Coast lose 1-3 to Brazil and the African team’s manager erupts. The Ivory Coast manager is one Sven Goran Eriksson, and his face as his side got well beaten should reminded England fans what went before. You want passionless, blank-faced zeal? You can’t handle it.
This and Italy’s draw with New Zealand should serve to remind England that not all is lost.
But the Countdown to CRAP-ello is on – that time when Fabio Capello becomes a figure of blame. But he’s done little wrong. John Terry can preen and pout but England is not Chelsea. Terry is no strutting top dog immune from the bullet.
Having been demoted from the England skipper’s berth for alleged disloyalty to his own wife and best mate (NSFW) Terry might do well to wind his neck in.
Says John Terry at the end of what appeared to be his pitch for the England player-manager’s role:
“If it upsets him, so what?’’
What he said – the highlights
“I went to see Franco after the game and said ‘look, let everyone have a beer and speak to the manager. Flippin’ hell, let’s just switch off’.
“For the first time since the manager has taken over he let us have a beer. Usually everyone goes straight back to their room and stays there. There was me, Lamps, Wazza, Aaron Lennon, Jamo, Crouchy, Jonno, Jamie Carragher and Stevie sat there talking about the game. To sit there and have a beer with mates after the game, which is probably what the fans were doing, just like any normal person, was good.
“Obviously it was the manager’s birthday. He was sitting there with a bottle of red wine with the staff and it was nice. It was more relaxed from him and us. The lads have been uptight, so we need to relax. Hopefully that tension will go. It was good to get things off our chest.’’ They had plenty to debate following the supine display hours earlier.
“There was no tackling, no one winning headers, no one winning second balls,’’ added Terry. “Things have got to be upped: tempo, momentum, belief. No player had that fire in the belly the other night. On Wednesday, everyone will have that. Sod it. It’s make or break. We owe it to the fans. If we don’t qualify, they can boo all they want…
“When things don’t go too well it is important the lads stay together. That is what we had the other night when we expressed ourselves. I will probably get in trouble now…
“He [Joe Cole] and Wayne are the only two who can open up defences. Listen, Joe is one of the best players in our country…
“We have a responsibility to ourselves, to the manager and everyone else to voice that opinion and hope he takes it on board. If it upsets him then I’m on the verge of just saying: ‘You know what? So what? I’m here to win it for England’.
”If we can’t be honest with each other then there’s no point in us being here. I see Nico [Anelka] was sent home for voicing his opinion, so maybe a few of us will be sent home! Whether the manager changes it to go with five in midfield, and Wayne up on his own, I don’t know. The manager has the final decision. But something needs changing…
“It’s not one of those things where the manager calls the shots and that’s it. That’s good about him. He obviously has his ways, his ways have been good previously and at the same time he’s prepared to listen and change a little bit. It’s the same at Chelsea…
“But after the last few weeks, we are seeing a different side to him [Capello], he’s more relaxed and he came to me this morning and said what had I done on my day off? I told him I went to a township, saw a local football game. I was a bit tentative when I told him I went to a vineyard. I thought he was going to tell me off for going…
“When he’s calm, he’s calm but when he’s angry, he’s really angry. He’s storming around the dressing room, kicking and throwing things. He shows real passion. That’s what he demands from us. He knows we’ve got the ability, which is probably why he gets so frustrated. I firmly believe he’s the right man to take us forward. I have 100 per cent confidence in the manager.’’
Thing is, England have been dire – so, like him or not, Terry might be what was needed to at least fire up himself and some of the team…
Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (6)
World Cup: The Countdown To Fabio CRAP-ello Moves On Apace
THE World Cup Countdown to Crapello – the mutating of England coach Fabio Capello into a figure of blame – is well and truly on. John Terry took on the role of de facto captain during a press conference at the Royal Bafokeng Sports Complex, Rustenburg.
Nothing has changed in the England camp. But the media are looking for a loose hem on Capello’s shirt to tug way at. Get this:
“The England manager, who led the team to nine wins in 10 games in qualification, has refused to say whether he will leave his post if the team fail to qualify from a group they were expected to breeze through.”
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Pavlos Joseph Is Fan In The Singing England Changing Room: Pictures
WAYNE Rooney apologises for being a petulant, bratty footballer out of touch with the fans at the World Cup, and the Sunday Mirror introduces a man who might yet play for England: Pavlos Joseph.
Pavlos Joseph is the “dressing room invader”. Draped in the flag of St George, Pavlos is the man who “invaded” the England dressing room in what we believed was a desperate bid to play for the team. Blessed with the build of a young Paul Gascoigne, the hands of Robert Green and the composure of Aaron Lennon, Pavlos Joseph can yet save the day.
The story is then summed up in one neat paragraph:
“The crazy thing is I only went looking for the toilet,” says Manchester United fan Pavlos, 32, from South-East London…
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Posted: 20th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)
In Pictures: BP Boss Tony Hayward’s Yacht Sails The Isle Of Wight’s Pristine Waters
TONY Hayward, of BP, has his life back and in a move that is sure to play out well in the US, he’s, reportedly, on his co-owned yacht Bob in the JP Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race, by the shores of the sunny Isle of Wight. (Although we haven’t spotted him. Still, nice boat.)
Lovely clear waters in the Solent and off the coat of Hampshire and Dorset.
The BP Oil Spill Gets A Dead Whale And Barack Obama Alienates America’s Friends
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Posted: 19th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (8)
World Cup: Annoying, Monotone England Emulate The Vuvuzela
ENGLAND draw 0-0 with the mighty Algerians in the dullest, most annoying, monotone game of the World Cup so far. England are dancing to the tune of the Vuvuzela. AGW sees the way ahead – and we need Victoria Beckham now more than ever:
IN-GER-LAND, in a bold new master plan, will be at Soweto’s Calabash big bash.
Hidden among the 95,000 spectators .
A miffed Football Association is outraged:
“It is unacceptable,” said an FA spokesman. “It is disgraceful to contemplate the Ing-er-land team will not be at yet another World Cup Final. Thankfully there was no serious harm done with last night’s excellent draw with that unknown North African side, but we will be complaining to Fifa about the FA’s decision to appoint Manager Coach Capello. Something must done…
“London Transport are said to have an excellent range of second-user coaches.”
England must beat Slovenia, top of Group C after drawing with the USA if they are to reach the knock-out phase.
There is no hint they can make any viable attempt to do so.
Team Coach Fabio Capello has a master plan to solve the conundrum of getting an English presence at the World Cup final. The entire team are this morning being given emergency vuvuzela lessons in a last ditch bid to ensure they achieve the total mediocrity they so obviously crave.
In an incredible new twist, ageing WAG Victoria Beckham has written a new England Opus for the monotone droning instruments. The new mock-hymnal ‘Victoria’s Plum Duff’ is said to be an omni-tone work ideal for the instruments’ limited range.
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World Cup Photos: England V Algeria
ENGLAND v Algeria in the World Cup Finals – in Pictures. Prince Harry and Prince William are there. Which is nice…
The Greatest Vuvuzela Pictures Ever: Now That’s What I Call Vuvuzela
Posted: 18th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (26)
The Greatest Vuvuzela Pictures Ever: Now That’s What I Call Vuvuzela
THE vuvuzela – pronounced: Va-vooz-zoola – is a hit. The World Cup has been buzzing with the vuvuzela endlessly. It’s the buzziest buzz on the street – buzzing in the ground, in the lounge, on the telly, in your dreams… Make it stop. Make it stop. We’ve scoured the web and can now bring the ultimate vuvuzela gallery…
World Cup Photos: The Greatest South African Orphan Quote Ever
READY for the Greatest South Africa World Cup quote ever? By an orphan?
In between the football, various millionaire footballers and telly pundits have been partronising the locals by saying how joyous they are. The faces shown are always black because joyous Boers are, obviously, hard to find.
Alan Shearer sat on the BBC sofa and opined that South Africans are just so-so happy-happy that they don’t care if they win the World Cup. That was said after they’d drawn their first match with Mexico.
But the best quote of the tournament is from Thambo Mzuli Aged 6, who seems to be media savvy and on message.
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Posted: 18th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
World Cup: Did Sara Carbonero Cost Spain The World Cup (Photos)?
IN Spain, the World Cup story goes that the bratty team lost their rubber against the Swiss because Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas was distracted by his girlfriend, Sara Carbonero, stood behind the goal.
Carbonero is a TV sports hackette. Shockingly, she is not blonde (she’ll never get the gig on UK telly), but is, nonetheless, photogenic and has lips that could suck the ball into the net and blow a vuvuzela into an alphorn.
UK footy fans will recognise her for her work in pipping Erin Andrews to the title of Sexiest Reporter in the World by FHM USA.
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
Diego Maradona Introduces Uses For The Vuvuzela: The Blow Blower
THE vuvuzela has many uses. No.2 is illustraed by Diego Maradona.
Spotter: Pies
Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (11)
World Cup Photos: Saint Diego Forlan Stops The Vuvuzela And Saves South Africa
URUGUAY and Diego Forlan – Patron Saint of World Music – have killed the vuvuzela as the South Africa side lose in the World Cup 3-0.
Blown with all the gusto, vim and irritation of a gang of other people’s Cola-laced six-year-olds on giant kazoos, the vuvuzela has killed singing at the World Cup.
No chants. No songs. Just the whirr of a giant comb and paper secreted in one end of cardboard yard of ale.
But will the South Africans be blowing any more? The BBC commentators say the South African side sing in the tunnel before coming onto the pitch. Beautiful. But we can’t hear it.
On a bight note – we can’t hear the England supporters’ band playing Escape To Victory.
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
How The Sun Patronised Football Bloggers – And Failed
ANORAK Publishing’s WhoAteAllThePies is doing great things – without The Sun’s patronising iPhone app. Ashley writes:
As part of its World Cup coverage, and to promote its sweepstake iPhone app, The Sun newspaper has been running a World Cup bloggers sweepstake. If you look at the sweepstake you’ll probably be impressed to find out how many high profile footy blog have agreed to be part of it.
The Weirdest Fan Costumes Of The World Cup: In Pictures
Except they haven’t. Whoateallthepies, who are Uruguay in the sweepstake – and in South Africa for the tournament – received an email which we subsequently ignored. Not because we hate The Sun or anything (from a journalistic perspective both the website and the paper are incredible IMO and I have several friends who work there), but we felt it was back to the bad old days when old media used to patronise blogs and use them for their own promotional activities.
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Devon James: Tiger Woods Paid ‘Son’s Mother’ For ‘Dirty Sex’: Pictures
DEVON James says she has given Tiger Woods the other son he always wanted. The boy is called Austin T James. Devon James says the ‘T’ is a tribute to the boy’s dad – Austin Todger James?
We know Austin James is Tiger’s boy because Devon says the golfer was “the only African-American man she dated at that time”.
Tiger is Blasian. He is not Afro-American. But he is an untypical golfer who isn’t a brilliant pink, so who can tell?
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
World Cup Photos: North Korea Beat Brazil 1-2
WELL done North Korea for beating Brazil 1-2 in the World Cup. Irrespective of ideology, ism and system, North Korea played with strength that has seen the great nation win the World Cup 17 times. Brazil saluted the North Koreans sense of skill and sublime unity by being repelled by the brave and fearless defenders. All pictures of the game will follow (that do, Mr Kim?)…
Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
World Cup: US TV Channel Mistakes Africa For South America
HOW does America follow up New York Post’s news that the USA beat England 1-1 in the World Cup finals? That was ironic to savvy New Yorkers, of course. But not to all Americans, it wasn’t.
On WGN9 Chicago, the World Cup is in Africa – which for those of you watching in the US is pretty much where South America used to be…
We winsssss!
World Cup Wonder Robbie Earle Made Head Of Budweiser Marketing?
ROBBIE Earle is out of the ITV squad having inadvertently enabled an unofficial FIFA beer to be promoted at the World Cup.
If all it takes are 40 giggling, blonde stunnas to promote a lager to the world then what the **** are Budweiser and Castrol doing forking our millions for rights? Heads will roll at marketing departments the world over as the clients ask: “Why didn’t you get Robbie Earle?”
Before Robbie Earle is made the head of Sony’s global marketing division, question. Did Robbie Earle say this?
“Brazil has played the most beautiful football, while Italy has specialized in breaking the hearts of its opponents, and for Germany everyone attacks in a way suggestive of Erich von Falkenhayn’s huge flanking movements in World War I — and everyone defends.”
Well, no. Of course he didn’t. Robbie Earle’s entire moribund output can be distilled into the phrase, “I agree…”
It might not be a wow in football punditry but in marketing speak, it pure gold…
Answer: Henry Kissinger.
Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
ITV Terminate Robbie Earle From World Cup Coverage
ITV Statement: FIFA World Cup Tickets – (warning: might be interrupted by an advert.) Robbie Earle has been naughty:
Following claims by FIFA that official 2010 World Cup tickets may have been used for ambush marketing, ITV has reviewed its entire ticket allocation for the tournament.
And they sold them to a Dutch marketing firm flogging beer.
Immediate investigations indicated that a block of ITV tickets would appear to have been used for unauthorised purposes during the Holland v Denmark match.
Further enquiries have revealed that a substantial number of tickets allocated to Robbie Earle for family and friends have been passed to a third party in breach of FIFA rules.
As a result, Robbie Earle’s contract with ITV has been terminated with immediate effect.
Thirty six blonde women dressed in orange sat in the seats to sell the beer. You’d think the ITV camera men would thank him…
Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
The Weirdest Fan Costumes Of The World Cup: In Pictures
ANORAK presents the greatest, weirdest, lamest and I’m-Mad-Me (picture 3) costumes of the South African World Cup. We do not include the costume worn by Cristiano Ronaldo, a hand-made outfit of depilated skin and Touche Eclat body armour. That deserves its own gallery. The winner so far is pictures 6. The Japanese do whacky well (picture 4 – must see). The Germans pull something out the bag (picture 6). And there’s a French cock (picture 9) More to follow…
World Cup: Green, Hart And James Form Crapello’s 3-7-1 Formation
England goalkeepers Robert Green, Joe Hart and David James (left to right) during the training session at the Royal Bafokeng Sports Complex, Rustenburg, South Africa. It’s the new 3-7-1 formation everyone is talking about.
Fabio Capello could do no wrong. Now the Countdown To Crapello is on…
Here’s Jo Hart:
Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Cristiano Ronaldo In His New Armani Knickers: Pictures
FOR those of you unable to wait for the end of the match to see waxed chests, Christiano Ronaldo has obligingly removed his shirt for Armani underwear. “Shoot!” screams the crowd. And Ronaldo remove his shirt and simpers for the cameras…
Paul Gascoigne Crash In Vauxhall Astra: Pictures
PAUL Gascoigne, 43, has been in a car accident. That’s the bad news. The better news is that his hands are OK and he can still play in goal for England. We spotted the scene at Sandhill on Newcastle’s quayside following the car crash – Vauxhall Astra, so they say. (Oh, the fall from grace.)
The former England, Newcastle and Tottenham midfielder has been in a serious but not life-threatening condition at Newcastle General Hospital following the accident in the city at 9.45pm yesterday.
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