Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Elin Nordegren Shuns Revenge Shag In Favour Of Divorce: Pictures
TIGER Woods wife Elin Nordegren has yet to embark on a revenge shag tour, taking in, perhaps, Jesse James, Ashley Cole, John Terry, Charlie Sheen and – well, what the hey – Josyln James. (Kim Hiott is inncoent.) Instead the news is that Elin is looking to divorce the Tiger. No word what Earl Woods thinks of it.
The Sun says Elin was upset by that creepy Nike ad in which Tiger tried to hypnotise you into believing his dad shagged all the girls, allegedly. And that if you wear a Nike hat with a tick on it all is forgiven and your wife will toe the corporate line and maybe appear in her own ad channeling Mother Theresa of Calcutta in an adidas sweatband.
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Elin Nordegren, girlfriend of American golfer, Tiger Woods watches him play at the 2002 American Express Championship, Mount Juliet Golf Course, Co Kilkenny, Republic of Ireland. *Woods won the American Express Championship with a final total of 25-under-par, one shot clear of South African Retief Goosen in second on 24-under.
Spotter: Celebitchy
Posted: 15th, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (6)
In Pictures: The Hillsborough Disaster (RIP)
IT’S the 21st anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster on Thursday, when 96 people died at the FA Cup semi final between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest. There is to be a memorial at Anfield stadium. At 3.06pm, there will be a minute’s silence. This is not mawkish sentimentality. This is paying respects to members of a club who went to watch the beautiful game. In 1989, your writer was watching the event on the TV. It made no sense. We used to enjoy the crush of the fans and how the masses swayed and rolled on the terraces like migrating birds. It still doesn’t make sense. People were penned in. Like animals. The police did not open the fences. The fans behind the crush did not know. The police did not realise. People kept coming, joining the crush. Who is to blame? Is circumstance the culprit, a culmination of events that led to a cataclysmic horror? The victims went to the football. They went to watch the football and they never came home. And that is tragic.
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Posted: 15th, April 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (25)
New York Yankees Pitcher Chan Ho Park Gets A Labrador Puppy
NEW York Yankees pitcher Chan Ho Park, native of South Korea, tells the interviews that he had diarrhea which affected his performance. This is how they make up chants:
He shoots,
He scores,
He eats labradors,
Chan Ho Park, Chan Ho Park…
Premier League: Spurs 2 – Arsenal 1: All The Pictures
AND so it came to pass that at the umpteenth time of asking Spurs did beat Arsenal in the Premier League. Arsenal’s season is over – a season that promised much and thanks to injury to Robin Van Persie and a benign transfer policy ended with nothing. For Spurs the dream is to finish fourth. Fourth is the dream for big spending Spurs. Glory. Glory. Fourth. Can they overhaul bigger spending Man City? All the pictures from the game:
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4/11: Texas Stadium Was A CIA Plot
BEFORE the dust had even settled over the ruins of Texas Stadium Sunday, internet forums and Twitter began to hum with rumors that “4/11 was an inside job”…that the alleged planned demolition was, in fact, a CIA plot – more…
FA Cup In Pictures: Portsmouth Fans Bid For Place On Wembley Final Bus
IN pictures, Portsmouth fans high on their team’s FA Cup win over Spurs are invited to bid for a place on the team’s walking bus for the final. For just £5, you Pompey faithful can join the team as they walk to Wembley. For £10, the team will give you a piggyback. And that; snot all. For £2, you’re name can be entered into a free prize draw to lend your own personal flannel to David James and the boys for use in the hallowed showers. For another £1.50, James and his colleagues will leave signs of themselves in each washing item. That simple bar of soap becomes a memento of a great day in history. There are lots more items to sponsor and bid for, including: Frederic Piquionne’s hair grip, Michael Brown’s frown lines and Papa Bouba Diop’s shirt, boots and space in the staring XI.
Posted: 12th, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (8)
FA Cup In Pictures: Chelsea V Aston Villa – The Goals, The Penalty And The Fans
CHELSEA beat Aston Villa 3-0 in the FA Cup. Before the game Chelsea fans unfurled a banner that proclaimed John Terry as a “Chelsea Loyal”. We sniggered. Monocular football fans don’t give a monkey’s for the hero’s love life so long as their team wins. In pictures: the goals, the game and the fans:
Posted: 11th, April 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (5)
The Grand National Winner Is You: Free £25 Bet And Ladies Day Pictures
IN Pictures: Ladies Day at Aintree. In readiness for the Grand National, the fillies, blood mares and well-breaded pulled on their slap and Spanx to head to the big meet. Coleen Rooney was tothy. Claire Sweeney was chilly. And the rast were varnished and well oiled:
OFFER: BET £25 with pur pals at Betfair and even if you lose you get your money back. The winnings you KEEP!.
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Posted: 9th, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
Tiger Woods Gets Advice From Beyond The Grave: Yul Brynner
YOU’VE met Tiger Woods’ women (alleged and NSFW below). You’ve seen the advert in which Tiger Woods hypnotises you and then channels his dirtiest thoughts onto your mind. You’ve heard his dad Earl speak from the great beyond. Now listen as other dead persons give Tiger Woods advice from the grave. First up, Yul Brynner:
In Pictures: Meet Tiger Woods’ Latest ‘Victim’ Raychel Coudriet
TIGER WOODS: After Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson, Joslyn James, Loredana Jolie, Julie Postle, Theresa Rogers and Devon James, meet Raychel Coudriet.
Raychel Coudiert is billed as “a neighbour’s daughter” with his hypnotic charm (you must see this) and neat line in smut:
The National Enquirer says he joked about her “cleaning his golf balls”, America’s National Enquirer magazine.
Story continues after gallery:
The two of them had sex on a couch for hours, right next to a crib for Tiger’s children.”
She’s 22. She tells “a pal”:
“I felt used and violated, like I meant nothing to him but a night of casual sex. I wanted to dig a hole, crawl in and die.”
Or maybe – just maybe – give Gloria Allred a call.
Posted: 8th, April 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Manchester United Lose To Bayern Munich And English Football Fans Rejoice: Pictures
MANCHESTER United lost to Bayern Munich in the Champions League. In 1999, when last the teams played in the biggest club competition in European football, Bayern were winning as the game moved into its death throes. Your writer was in a bar in Madrid with a few drunk United fans, a few more Spanish football hacks and Mario Basler. Not that “Super Mario” was there in person. But he was there in spirit, when the German player as taken off before the final whistle to milk the applause for his winning goal. I laughed, Ha! United were losing. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Continues after gallery:
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Martina Navratilova’s Breast Cancer Exposed
SAD news that Martina Navratilova has breast cancer, a strain of the disease called ductal carcinoma in situ. It’s treatable and the tennis player should be fine. Her breasts are now a talking point.
Champions League In Pictures: Messi-lona Thrashes Arsenal 4-1
CHAMPIONS League in pictures: Barcelona v Arsenal. Nicklas Bendtner scores. 1-0. Messi scores. 1-1. All the pictures from the match. Messi. Messi. 3-1. Messi. 4-1. Gamre over. Wenger will leave Arsenal at season’s end.
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In Pictures: Tiger Woods Plays Masters And Josyln James Strips
TIGER Woods could only stand so much basket weaving as he escaped thoughts of Josyln James and the rest. He focused on those videos of grass being mowed – but not shooting up – and keeping track in a small black and red notebook of the numbers on the bottom of the news crews helicopters’ overhead. Tiger Woods needed rehab. Tiger woods also needed those well-thumbed copies of Golf Monthly he kept under the lump of wood pillow. He needed those Scotch eggs, the inverted crutch and the escape tunnel/hole.
Tiger Woods needs replacement therapy for the sex. Tiger Woods needs golf.
Tiger Woods’ NSFW Turkey Sex Messages To Porn Star Joslyn James: Pictures
Woods returned to the Masters and a live televised interview.Yep, the Masters. Tiger… Tiger! Snap out of it. Masters is just a name. Gather. Ok, it’s not the Masters. It’s just a 5,000 piece jigsaw of Monet’s Houses of Parliament. Better? Better.
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FIFA Give Away 1Million World Cup Tickets With Chance To Meet Nelson Mandela
WITH one million tickets unsold for the South Africa World Cup, the Daily Star delivers the headline: “WORLD CUP FANS FACE BLOODBATH.”
Says one England fan:
“I wasn’t gonna both but now I’m not so sure. I’ve got Rorke’s Drift on DVD and am more than ready for the challenge. If I have to sing in Welsh, so be it, it’s the least I can do for the lads. And Michael Owen has always done his best for us.”
The Star says the killing of white supremacist leader Eugene Terre’Blanche has turned South Africa into the “land of murder”.
Says FIFA rep:
“It’s the last toss of the dice. If this doesn’t shift tickets, we might have to start giving them away to everyone stood in line to meet Nelson Mandela.”
Posted: 5th, April 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Tiger Woods And Mrs Miodrag Gidra Stojanovic
TIGER Woods and the women: for your delictation, ladies – while you await Tiger’s return to the apres-golf circuit – the Tiger Woods condom and emergency flag pole.
Or else, buy these and dress up your own inflatable Tiger – that’s you Mrs Miodrag Gidra Stojanovic – and live the dream…
Spotter: Cover Awards
In 28 Pictures: Arsenal And Barcelona Set Up A Champions League Classic
WE interrupt this website to bring news that your writer is having a seizure. Arsenal v Barcelona in the Champions League. Pictures:
More on Pies.
In Pictures: Wayne Rooney Sink England Into A Sofa Of Despair
WAYNE Rooney goes down and a country reacts by feeling sick. Scots are sick with joy. English are sick with the realisation that without Rooney the game against the Waiters XI on beaches all over Europe lacks impetus and immediacy. With no Rooney at the World Cup, millions of men with empty lives will be unable to point to a large depression in the sofa and say “I was there when Rooney won the World Cup”.
Posted: 31st, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Wayne Bridge ‘Dates’ Kim Kardashian And Vanessa Perroncel’s Deal
WAYNE Bridge, the Manchester City player billed as the Sun’s “bitter” “sad” loser in light of candid John Terry’s alleged dalliances with Vanessa Perroncel is being linked to home-made porn star and reality TV fodder Kim Kardashian.
This is “Bridge and the busty Kim, the heiress”.
Vanessa Perroncel (John Terry’s Alleged Lover)
Kim Kardashian is Bridge’s “hot new date”. Well, she will be should they ever decide to meet. The story goes that Bridge met Kardashian met in a Miami nightclub and they exchanged not fluids but words. There is talk of texts and Kim maybe meeting up with Bridge should she come to the UK.
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Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
‘Bitter’ Wayne Bridge Meets Vanessa Perroncel In Court
THE Sun has news on Vanessa Perroncel and Wayne Bridge’s money. They who were were two thrusts of the hottest shagging story around – until the story of John Terry’s extra-martial doings got spiked and money, allegedly, changed hands.
News International titles billed John Terry as a man of honour:
Another thing I liked about Terry – and this will sound strange – was his candour.
This is JT:
Who dallied with wife Toni in the Dubai sand and cement and “looked like love-struck kids” in the Sun.
Who told the Sun that he wanted to win the Champions League for Chelsea and the World Cup for England – “I am not ashamed to say it”.
Who, the Sun said, offered his hand to Wayne Bridge when they met on the field of battle and looked the man he never wronged in the eyes (he didn’t – pictures here).
Who the Sun told us is not afraid of nuffink:
Terry “insisted he was not afraid to risk a snub from his former best mate – vowing: ‘I will offer my hand and he prepared to shake his’.”
Bridge is the Sun’s loser – and enjoy the ironic use of “screwed”:
“You’ve screwed up Wayne.”
This is “BITTER soccer star Wayne Bridge”.
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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (10)
Tiger Woods In Pictures: Josyln James At The Golf Course
WITH Tiger Woods’ handlers rubbing his tarnished brand like Aladdin at a Jolysn James fan fest, TMZ reaches into the gold bag, scrapes around for a shiny penny and comes up with Steve Williams.
Who he?
Williams is “Tiger Woods’ caddie” and he says “people shouldn’t believe everything that comes out of a porn star’s mouth”.
The jokes write themselves. Williams knows – just knows – that porn stars aren’t really teachers desperate to shag their Priapic pupils. And those breasts… NOT real!
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Harry Carpenter In Pictures: Bring Back Dickie Davis Before It’s Too Late
RIP Harry Carpenter. Know what I mean? As Anorak reader Yampster says:
Another of the great commentators of my youth bites the canvas
Bill McLaren has gone. And now Harry Carpenter. Brian Moore has already died. Time to being back Richard “Dickie” Davies before it’s too late.
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Tiger Wood And The Women: Disgusting Footage Of Tiger At Work
TIGER Woods: You’ve seen the women (alleged). You’ve read the sex texts. And now get more of Tiger Woods as he continues his Rehabilitation Tour by poping up on the telly to chat about this and that.
The question for Tiger is this: If you’ve nothing to tell us about your private life, why talk to the media when all anyone watching wants to know is about your private life? Why not wait until after your first comeback game of golf and then talk? You can then talk about golf and thus ensure that only golf fans show any interest in you as the rest doze off or look elsewhere for titillation.
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Posted: 22nd, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)
In Pictures: The Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Mile Is Golden
THE Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Mile, on Victoria Embankment in central London, was people running a mile for charity. This is the kind if distance Britain once ruled the world in. But Seb Coe now wears a suit and the Golden Mile is best left to such athletes as former Rolling Stones shagger Jo Wood, pro-am “Paki” dancer Anton Du Beke, Lyvita lady Fern Britton, Eddie Izzard, polo for commoners champion Jodie Kidd, F1 heiress Tamara Ecclestone, eyebrow wrangler Lizzie Cundy, sop actors from Emmerdale, Coronation Street, Hollyoaks and Eastenders and Mr “If he loses the electisn we are f*****” David Cameron.
No, not John Terry and Ashley Cole. It’s not that kind of sports relief. This is the day for those celebs who realise that marathons should be best left to Ethiopians and the Mile is what makes Great Britain Great…
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In Pictures: Tiger Woods Introduces The England World Cup Sex Doll
NEWS of the Tiger Woods sex doll is news to Dutch designer Sander Reijgers, who has created some sports equipment to while away the hours and keep not only Tiger clean but England’s World Cup warriors off the glamour models… The last is a home-made version…
Posted: 21st, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
