Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Tiger Woods: Holly Sampson Appears On Tiger Woods’ Sex Video
TIGER Woods: Holly Sampson (pictures), Tiger Woods’ alleged mistress, wants to tell you about having sex with Tiger Woods.
Got a pencil? Ok, let’s us begin. For budding and ageing golfers who dare to dream, there will be questions later. He hired her for a Stag night do. Holly says that Tiger is “the perfect gentlemen”. He turned off the telly?
“I f___ Tiger Woods… Me and my girlfriends did a bachelor party for Tiger and it was amazing. A friend of mine Brent Bolthouse – he runs a lot of nightclubs. He used to be a friend of mine and he was good friends with one of Tiger Woods’ assistants. So me and my girlfriends we did a bachelor party for Tiger and uh it was amazing. And so he picked me to go into the room…I have to say he was really good. He and Kevin…I’ve got juice…I think it’s pretty amazing. He’s (Woods) like the whitest black boy you’ve ever met. His teeth are perfect and he’s the perfect gentleman. He’s beautiful.”
Posted: 11th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Tiger Woods’ Text Messages To Jaimee Grubbs
TIGER Woods: So sorry is Jaimee Grubbs for hurting Elin Nordegren that she hold’s her phone to the air and let’s everyone see the sexy texts Elin’s husband sent her. Touching stuff. And it is informative. What do you say to a billionaire golfer? What does a billionaire golfer say to Las Vegas waitress? Let’s see in Anorak’s GCSE Guide To Sexting The Woods:
Module 1: Adressing The Woods
Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a friend with a present for there birthday
Tiger: what kind of present your naked body
Teacher’s Note: In this message Jaimee mistakes “there” for “their”. Tiger also manages to imply that Jaimee sleeps around.
Conclusion: Good spelling need not be a barrier to having sex with golfers.
Module 2: Man Of Letters
Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together
Tiger: when was the last time you got laid
Teacher’s Note: Poetry and poignancy. If Tiger wasn’t a golfer he’d make a great vicar, offering thoughts for the day.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Tiger Woods Releases New Adverts: In Pictures
TIGER Woods has endorsed all sorts of stuff in his role model role as Mr Squeaky Clean. Corporations love Tiger, no more so than the good folks at Accenture. As one of their ads says: “To accomplish more sometimes you need to see less – go on. Be a Tiger.” In another, investors learn: “The winners are those who act quickly, make the right decisions and execute them flawlessly.” Just like Tiger Woods. All Tiger’s ads are dipped in the vinegar of irony. What stunt knob shagging the porn star can now not be equipped with the caption: “I’m Tiger Woods”?
Posted: 9th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Tiger Woods: Milf Linked To Woods And Barbro Holmberg In Pictures
TIGER WOODS: Another day and with it another Tiger Woods woman (all pictures here): meet Milf Barbro Holmberg. Babs is 57, blonde and is pictured lying down on a mobile bed. Indeed, dear readers, has Tiger now replaced his golf cart with a electric divan, thus facilitating a 19th hole wherever he wants it?
It turns out that Ms Holmberg is his…mother in law. No. No! We read on and discover that Holmberg is not Woods’ latest conquest but lying prone because she is ill and being rushed to hospital. Other evidence that she is not a Woods Woman: she is NOT a waitress, NOT holding mobile phone and NOT holding her breast about a baffing iron like a sports mad St Agatha.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 9th, December 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Tiger Woods: Holly Sampson’s Career In Pictures, Golf Porn Film And Elin Walks
TIGER Woods’ bid to build a crazy golf course moves on with the Holly Sampson hole (her photos here).
Sampson is the child actress who turned to porn and golfers, allegedly, as a way to get into waitressing and meet the likes of Jamiee Grubbs and all the other serving staff being linked to Tiger.
Sampson has come a long way since she co-starred with Fred Savage in the Wonder Years episode “The Summer Song” in 1989, where she played his holiday love interest.
Summers went on to star in an episode My Two Dads (not porn) and Matlock before appearing in a film called Pump Up The Volume (also not porn).
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 8th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Tiger Woods: Naked Golf In Golf Digest With Barack Obama And Bill Clinton’s 19th Hole
TIGER Woods: That’s naked golfer Tiger Woods on the cover of Golf Digest magazine. (See all Tiger’s women here.) He’s holding a huge stick with a flag on the end to attract women with. He’s looking over Barack Obama’s shoulder. What they are looking at, we will investigate later in the images hereunder, for now we look inside the January 2010 edition of Golf Digest magazine.
The cover promises “10 Tips Obama Can Take from Tiger.” Obama and Woods are “two men [who] might have much to talk about, like siblings separated at birth”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 7th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)
Tiger Woods: An ‘Illegitimate’ Tiger Cub, Cori Rist And Oprah Winfrey’s Sofa
TIGER Woods and The Women is nine holes away from being a themed crazy golf course. But, as yet, none of Mindy Lawton, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers and Rachel Uchitel have gone for the money shot: the Tiger cub. But there are rumours. There are always the rumours. There is also a new woman called Cori Rist. Golf is all in the Rist.
Anorak’s Man in LA tells us of a new “generation of Tigers, allegedly:
Just as The Big Cheese was becoming bored with the “I slept with Tiger Woods while he was married” story, TheDirty.com is staking its claim as first to report a fresh angle to the hum-drum seedy saga of adultery. They claim… that Tiger Woods has an illegitimate child on the way.
Let the new feeding frenzy begin. and let Oprah Winfry offer Woods her sofa. No, not literally – Woods is still living with his wife…
Posted: 7th, December 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
Irony Watch: Lewis Hamilton Is The Face Of RoadSense
TOP British tax exile and racing driver Lewis Hamilton has been at Mercedes World where he helped to launch the Road Sense safety scheme RoadSense.
This is the same Lewis Hamilton who in 1997 was banned from driving in France on account of his moving at almost 200km/h on a motorway.
Roadsense is a road safety campaign for school children. First stop is Surrey. County council leader Andrew Povey said: “School children are the drivers of the future so it is vital we educate them now about the importance of responsible driving.”
Good idea. The earlier children get to appreciate the power of a car the better. Young drivers will be taught well:
Motorists who tailgate or use their mobile phone while in control of their vehicle are to be targeted during a crackdown on driving offences.
So who better to advertise the perils of tailgating than F1 motor racing legend champion Lewis Hamilton who was disqualified from the Australian Grand Prix in 2009 for misleading race stewards in an incident with a, er, safety car?
So, kids, drive carefully. And if you can’t drive carefully, make sure you win…
8102378
World Champion Amir Khan Beats Dmitriy Salita, In Pictures
AMIR Khan took just 76 seconds to defeat New York challenger Dmitriy Salita. Not a single tabloid’s back page features the event. Is Britain so blessed with world champions that Khan can be so ignored as he retains his WBA Light-Welterweight Title bout at the Metro Radio Arena, Newcastle? Two footballers swing handbags and it’s all over the papers. A boxer uses skill to fight and he’s buried towards the middle of the newssheets, or ignored as the nation’s biggest selling Sunday, the NoTW, sees fit. We’ve got the pictures of the fight:
8101110
Posted: 6th, December 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
Tiger Woods: After Grubbs, Uchitel, Moquin And Jungers Meet Mindy Lawton
TIGER Woods and the women – those linked to the golfer – now numbers a back nine. Meet Mindy Lawton. After Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers and Rachel Uchitel – who didn’t sleep with Woods but is, reportedly in line for a huge pay out to make up for being cruelly overlooked – here’s Mindy Lawton claiming a “year-long affair” with the golfer.
Mindy is billed as a “waitress”. Woods seems to have thing for waitresses. Here’s the tip jar. Give generously. Mindy Lawton says Woods breakfasts on “white egg omelette with broccoli and orange juice.” Put a tiger in your tank with a real man’s breakfast.
Mindy Lawton is pictured wearing red dress and narrowing her eyes to the camera. The desired effect, one imagines, is to make her look like a femme fatale. It fails. Mindy Lawton looks more like Little Mo Slater after a heavy night. And she says:
“Sometimes I looked like a rag doll after we’d made love. He really did like it quite rough.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Photos: Manchester City 2 Chelsea 1, Premier League
WHEN Manchester City took on Chelsea in The Battle Of The Fossils – Roman Abramovich’s Gas versus Abu Dhabi’s air Conditioning – all eyes were on the stands. Would the megarich owners decide the result over port and cigars? But as we looked for dice being rolled, we saw the City fans in their clear Anoraks. And we loved them fot it. Not since those heady days of inflatable fruit, eggs, a giant Godzilla and the Ladies And Lovers of Abu Dhabi luncheon has no much plastic been seen in the City stands. Man City won the game 2-1, with goals from Tevez and Adebayor. Sheikh Mansour was delighted – he came for the rain…
8100163
Tiger Woods: After Grubbs, Uchitel and Moquin Meet Jamie Jungers
AFTER Jaimee Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel (denies affair but Woods is reported to be paying her at least $1m to stay quiet)) and Kalika Moquin prepare to meet alleged Tiger Woods conquest Jamie Jungers. Yes, that’s right. FOUR!
And all the golf birdies have great names, as if taken from a paperback guide to waitressing. You need the name before you can make it as a waitress. Use the tip jar, Mr Woods.
Radar reports that “at least two other women are close to making deals with various media outlets to reveal their sexual relationships with the golfing great.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Photos: Arsenal 2 Stoke City 0, Premier League
AFTER three successive defeats without a goal, Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal finally managed to miss a penalty and then scored two goals. Andrey Arshavin was fouled for a penalty, whish Cesc Fabregas missed while doing an impression of David Cameron standing on a pebble. Arshavin then took matters into his own feeet and scored a terrific goal, added to by Aaron Ramsay. Arsenal, Andrey and Aaron keep Arsenal in third. At least the Gunners are top alphabetically. Incredibly, no Arsenal outfield player touched 6ft tall. Is this the smallest team in Premier League history?
Tiger Woods’ Sex Videos And the American Footballer’s Wife
TIGER Woods and the women: Anorak’s at a glance look at Tiger Woods in the news: with a sex video, another Grubb, George Clooney, another woman and the Church of Tiger’s closure…
The Last Swinger In Town
The Sun’s front-page news tells readers and any of Tiger’s future women: “TIGER IS HORRIBLE IN BED.” so says a freind of Jaimee Grubbs. And get a load of her name:
Telly pal Krista Grubb, 27, told The Sun: “She was showing all these texts saying they were from Tiger and George. One she said was from George said, ‘When can I get in there again?’ He signed it G… Jaimee said George was amazing but wasn’t so nice about Tiger. She just kept saying he was horrible in bed.”
Kiss ‘n’ Uchitel
Rachel Uchitel dismissed claims of a fling. She called a press conference. She cancelled a press conference. Now:
Rachel Uchitel, 34, cancelled a press conference at the last minute, citing “unforeseen circumstances”. She was widely expected to admit that she DID have a relationship with the golfing ace, despite earlier denials. But Woods’ aides are said to be desperate to stop her talking. And US reports claimed that Uchitel instead began negotiating a $1million (£600,000) deal to remain silent.
Silence is Golden
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Football: The Miss Of The Century, With Harrow’s Rocky Baptiste
WANT to see the Miss Of The Century? When the mighty Harrow Borough beat Waltham Abbey 5-3 it was terrific. It could have been different had Rocky Baptiste not contrived to connect with air with the ball a mere two inches away from the goal. He missed. You can catch it better here:
Tiger Woods’ Sex Text Messages To Uchitel And Grubbs To Be Published In Tao Of Tiger Book?
TIGER Woods’ women are evidence of why they build golf courses in Las Vegas: sex. Did Tiger Woods play the back nine in Scotland? No. Too miserable, wet and puritanical. Golf in Vegas is the way to make it swing. All of Woods’ alleged mistresses operated in Vegas nightclubs (pictures of them all).
Golfers, you can pull young women with long hair and long legs – boy, does Woods have a type – but only in dimly lit bars in Vegas. (New pictures of another woman getting the Woods’ grip are to the left.)
As we picture the Ryder Cup moment when Woods holes the winning putt and half of the Vegas Strip clatters over the greens in strappy shoes and cowboy hats, texting as they stampede, we arrive at Rachel Uchitel.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Amir Khan V ‘Borat’ Dmitry Salita: In Pictures
AMIR Khan is to fight New Yorker Dmitry Salita, an Orthodox Jew, in the first defence of his WBA light-welterweight title in Newcastle on Saturday. “That beautiful WBA belt belongs to me,” says Salita, who has never lost in 32 fights. Paul Berger, Anorak’s original Man in New York, has more:
“Salita has a fascinating backstory. If you can get your hands on a copy, I highly recommend the documentary Orthodox Stance, which was made a couple of years ago and which charts Salita’s rise to boxing prominence in the US. If you can’t see the film, you might be interested in this feature I wrote for the Jewish Chronicle“:
“You have seen the movie Borat?” asks Salita, from his training camp in the Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania. “I looked like a little Borat. I had the cheapest clothes, bad sneakers. And when you don’t fit in, that’s just the way it goes.”
Those pre-match pictures:
8091697
Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
After Tiger Woods And Thierry Henry, It’s Roger Federer’s Close Shave
AS TIGER Woods does his best to make golf look interesting – and offer an explanation as what attract men to a hobby that takes hours and hours to play among trees – we wonder about Roger Federer.
Federer is now the world’s most boring sportsman. Before Rachel Uchitel didn’t, Jamiee Grubbs said she did and Elin Nordegren used her Kobe Grip on Tiger’s Baffing iron, Woods and Federer were two predictable sportsman, collecting silver cups and pots to much applause but little or no sensation. But now Federer stands alone.
Interestingly, Federer and Woods are two faces of Gillette razors, the third is… Thierry Henry. What’s that man of honour been up to of late?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (6)
Tiger Woods: After Rachel Uchitel And Jaimee Grubbs Meet Kalika Moquin
TIGER Woods Crash update: another woman claims to have slept with the golfer. Introducing Kalika Moquin.
Having introduced Elin Nodegren’s Kobe Grip And Rachel Uchitel’s denial, heard from Jamiee Grubbs (Oh, nominative determinism), we now meet another alelged Tiger Woods msiters: Kalila Moquin. Anorak’s Man in LA reports:
ANOTHER day, another woman claims to be Tiger Woods‘ mistress.
This time it’s a young woman by the name of Kalika Moquin.
Read the rest of this entry »
Jaimee Grubbs Tells Of ‘2-Year Affair’ With Tiger Woods, In Pictures
JAIMEE Grubbs is not only a product of nominative determinism, but alleges that she was Tiger Woods’ lover. While Rachel Uchitel tells media outlet that she is not Woods’ 19th hole (one magazine contests that), Jaimee Grubbs introduces herself and says that she is.
Anorak has brought you pictures of Jaimee Grubbs, and now the Sun thunders:
“MY 2-YEAR-FLING WITH TIGER”
Grubbs is 20, which would make her 18 when she first addressed Woods. In golfing terms this equates to a year for every hole. Back nine, front nine. Jaimee sets up the jokes and the media takes a gimme. As for the story:
A COCKTAIL waitress has sensationally claimed she’s been having an affair with Tiger Woods for 31 months. Jaimee Grubbs, 24, says she has had around 20 sexual encounters with the world’s top golfer, 33.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Tiger Woods Car Crash: Elin Nodegren’s Kobe Grip And Rachel Uchitel Denies
EVER since Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree golfers have been celebrating the news that golf is not a boring sport for misogynists on milk floats. Golf is edgy and dangerous. Golf writers have been weeping for joy that finally they can write about something other than a ball going into a hole and how a grown man shakes hands with his wood.
The story so far, featuring swimsuit-clad Elin Nordegren and not Rachel Uchitel: The Tiger Woods minor car crash news round-up
Daily Express (front page): “Police to interview Tiger’s wife Elin over his mystery car crash”
No need, coppers because over on the Daily Mail’s front page we learn:
“I’m to blame, not my wife, says Tiger”
But what can we blame him for – turning Roger Federer into the world’s dullest sporstman and inviting the Swiss ace’s wife to test those racket strings against his car windscreen? (Yesterday, police spokesman Kim Montes said both rear passenger windows on the luxury vehicle had been smashed.) Again the answer comes on another front page, this time the Telegraph’s:
“Breaking cover: The girls said to be Tiger’s birdie”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)
Tiger Woods: Rachel Uchitel Denies Affair, Elin Nordegren Accused And Roger Federer Tests His Racket
THE Tiger Woods story keeps getting richer. First up we heard that Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren picked putter and rescued Tiger from certain doom by smashing in the back of his SUV.
Then we were introduced to Rachel Uchitel – who will not kiss’n’tell.
The Sun says Woods was “unconscious” for six minutes. It was “horrific” says the Mirror.
The BBC says:
The star was found semi-conscious with facial injuries after his car reportedly hit a fire hydrant and tree.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 28th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (13)
Rachel Uchitel And A Car Crash Make Tiger Woods No Longer Most Boring Sportsman On The Planet
TIGER Woods is not longer the most boring sportsman on planet. All over the web are allegations that injured Tiger Woods has been getting to know a Rachel Uchitel. She was once a producer for Bloomberg TV.
So how did Woods become unconscious in his driveway in the early hours of the morning? Says TMZ:
Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren — according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 28th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (9)
In Pictures: Boring Tiger Woods Saved From ‘Horror’ Crash With Baffing Spoon?
TIGER Woods has crashed his car. Woods’ car struck a fire hydrant and a tree in his neighbour’s garden as he pulled out of his driveway at…2:25 a.m. His wife, Elin Nordegren, picked up a golf club and smashed in the back window. No, not in temper. She did it to save him. She did it to make the sportsman look more interesting.
Woods was rescued. But is there more to this story? Can Woods beceom a person of interest?
Windermere police chief Daniel Saylor told The Associated Press that officers found the 33-year-old PGA star laying in the street with his wife, Elin, hovering over him.
Read the rest of this entry »
Thierry Henry Praised By Ireland’s Heart Doctors
CAN it be that cheating foreigner Thierry Henry (surely misunderstood juggler? – ed) has saved the Irish team from heartache – literally?
The Local delivers news that letting out stress in the workplace is good for your heart. Ireland ‘keeper Shay Given can sleep easy…
Ten Reasons Why Thierry Henry Did It
Thierry Henry And His ‘Hand Of Gaul’ Is Now A Meme
The Juggle – In Pictures: Giovanni Trapattoni Salutes Thierry Henry’s Hand Of Gaul
The Tribute – Ireland Cheers For Thierry Henry’s Goal Of Hurt: In Pictures
