Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
All Belgian Bodybuilders Flee Doping Officals
TO the Belgian bodybuilding championships, where doping officials are looking for athletes to test. But there are no athletes. They have all seen the testers and run off.
Of course, if the players are all pumped full of enhancers then the sport is a level playing field. Body building may be the fairest sport in the world.
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Football Club Hired Stripper Before Match
THE pre-match entertainment – “Give yourself a wave on the big screen”; watch players kick a ball into a pretend goal; hire a stripper to get the lads in the mood. To Australia, where Prahan Club XVIII – aka Prahan Club XXX – are up for it:
A FOOTBALL club is under investigation after a stripper was hired to perform for the team minutes before a game… Prahran Club XVIII coach Craig Berger said a former player organised the stripper to perform about 30 minutes before a night match against St Bernard’s on May 1.
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Cristiano Ronaldo In RondaloSexual Video
OF course, Cristiano Ronaldo is not heterosexual or homosexual or even bisexual – he’s Ronaldosexual (Pies ®) – he has eyes only for himself…
Or, maybe him…
Spotter: Lone, in the Forums
Posted: 14th, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (5)
Ferrari issue F1 quit threat
PANIC has gripped the sport of Formula 1, with the news that Ferrari have threatened to quit F1 at the end of this season if the sport continues with plans to introduce an optional £40m budget cap from 2010.
“No F1 in 2010 if the rules do not change,” said a statement. “Ferrari does not intend to register cars for the 2010 F1 world championship.”
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Posted: 12th, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
The Greatest Ever 4-Eyed Footballers
THE Johnny Cash song “A Boy Named Sue” tells the tale of a man whose father gave him a girl’s name in order to toughen him up –
the reasoning being that he would be taunted mercilessly and forced to defend himself.
The former Manchester United and England footballer Nobby Stiles puts forward a similar explanation for his development as a hard man of the tough-tackling terrier variety. With a name like Norbert, he didn’t have much choice. It probably didn’t help that he was a speccy little herbert. Or, if you prefer, a four-eyed midget.
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Posted: 11th, May 2009 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
The Modern Chelsea Fan And Eurovision
IF you want to know how much Chelsea Football Club has changed in recent years, enjoy this Daily Star news:
ANGRY footie fans have vowed to get their own back on ref Tom Henning Ovrebo by stopping Norway winning Eurovision.
You can see the modern Chelsea fan turning to their “partner” and saying that satire and a stern letter to the editor of the Surrey Tanner is not enough. To really make a statement we need to pick up the phone and say “No” to Alexander Rybak, Norway’s entry in Eurovision, by voting for one of the other acts.
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Posted: 11th, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Irish Ruby Player Snubs Queen? Picture
A PICTURE of the Ireland’s Grand Slam winning Rugby meeting Her Majesty The Queen. Did Ronan O’Gara shake the Queen’s hand – and did he first warm it..?
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Posted: 11th, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (5)
Spurs Captain Ledley King Arrested
LEDLEY King, captain of Tottenham Hotspur captain, has been arrested. King is being questioned by police on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm to another man.
Says a Scotland Yard spokeswoman:
“A 28-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of ABH following an allegation of assault made by a man in his 20s.”
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Pole Dancing To Be Olympic Sport: Video
POLE Dancing is to be an Olympic Sport at the 2012 London Games. Anorak has obtained footage of US athletes going through their paces at the US Pole Dance Championship 2009.
Old Mr Anorak, now returned from his Thai ping-pong winter training camp, welcomes any move that “opens the envelope of sport”…
Britain Gears Up For 2012 Drugs Olympics
Amy Winehouse Injured Training For 2012 Olympics Drugs Marathon
Football: A History Of The Throw In
Throwbacks: The loneliness of the long-distance launcher – Anorak’s look at the football throw in.
SHOULD the long throw-in be banned from football? That, believe it or not, is a discussion that has cropped up among those fans dismayed by the havoc wreaked by Stoke City’s Rory Delap this season. Premier League defences have been unable to cope with the bombardment, and so up goes the cry ‘Foul!’
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FAIL: female sports reporter takes one for the team
LOVE the way she carries on as if nothing has happened. What a pro (professional, not prostitute)…
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Lily Allen slags off footballers’ wives
LILY Allen really let rip during an interview with obscure French football magazine SoFoot…
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Posted: 7th, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Chelsea unveil new shirt sponsor
SORRY to all Chelsea fans, but even in defeat you have to see the funny side. What’s that? You don’t. Er, OK. We laughed though.
[Via Who Ate All the Pies]
Brazil Football: Corinthians Set Fire To Captain
IN Brazil, Corinthians’ title celebrations go wrong as the trophy catches fire, and so too the captain…
Alan Shearer Saves Newcastle From Joey Barton
ON Joey Barton – from the Forums:
This falls into the “I damn well told told you so” category. I said the violent Joey Barton was an out’n’out uncontrollable tosser and would be the downfall to the good reputation of any Premier (or Pub league side) stupid enough to select him.
This from tonight’s Evening News in a windswept Manchester:
FORMER Manchester Blues ace Joey Barton has been suspended from Newcastle FC until further notice.
The controversial 26-year-old from Huyton, Merseyside, who was sent off for a reckless challenge on Liverpool’s Xabi Alonso on Sunday – which cost him a three-match ban and ended his season – has been told to stay away as Alan Shearer attempts to save the club from relegation.
A club statement said: “Newcastle United can confirm that Joey Barton has been suspended from the club until further notice.”
Make that for good Alan…for the sake of the game. Scrap him.
More in the Forums…
Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Did Chelsea’s billionaire owner lose his yacht in a poker game?
RUMOURS abound that Roman Abramovich (pictured left, jumping off one of his yachts) lost a $500,000 yacht in a game of poker. Abramovich’s people have denied the rumour: “The story is absolutely, completely, entirely false,” said John Mann, a spokesman for Chelsea’s owner.
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Mexican footballer suspended for Swine Flu antics
A Mexican footballer has been suspended from South America’s Copa Libertadores tournament, for pretending to cough and spit in an opponent’s face – gestures interpreted as threatening to spread Swine Flu, aka the “deadly pig virus”.
Hector Reynoso, a defender for Chivas of Mexico, coughed several times in the face of Sebastian Penco, an Argentine playing for Chilean club Everton (hmm, the name seems familiar). Reynoso doesn’t have Swine Flu, by the way – nor can you catch the virus by reading this post.
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Brazilian footballers love to expose themselves on the web
WHEN they’re not samba dancing and scoring outrageous free-kicks, Brazilian footballers love nothing more than to show off their trouser snakes on webcams. Nothing like discretion, then.
Ronaldinho (pictured), Man City’s Elano and AC Milan’s Alex Pato are among those who have been caught getting naked online. If you want to see more, you can check out the (very) NSFW site Glossx. It features wangs of all shapes and sizes (we’re scarred for life) – you have been warned.
[Via The Spoiler]
Top 10 biggest dicks in the Premier League
10. Sam Allardyce
Blackburn’s manager, aka “Big Sam”, qualifies for this list for several reasons:
1) Rampant ego. Thought he was good enough to manage England. Funny, that.
2) Encourages teams to play crap, long-ball football.
3) Sucks up to buddy Alex Ferguson, all the time. Example: his recent attack on Rafa Benitez.
4) He likes El-Hadji Diouf.
5) He’s a dick.
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Alex Ferguson Misses The Bus: Video
ALEX Ferguson, purple-faced manger of Manchester United AIG Inc & Associates has missed the bus.
It said it’d be here at 4:45 but wily old Sir Alex allowed for another 15 minutes for various reasons…
And missed his balloon…
Sir Alex Ferguson loses his pink balloon
Spotter: Lone in the Forums
Glenn Hoddle loves Kenny G
ON Monday, Glenn Hoddle was spotted at a Kenny G concert at the Royal Albert Hall. We know, it’s a horrific thought. Sorry if you’re about to have lunch.
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Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Hunky Italian footballer Oddo foils police blackmail plot
BAYERN Munich defender Massimo Oddo (pictured at the beach in his trunks) foiled a blackmail attempt carried out by two Italian police officers. Not like Italy to be home to corruption, eh.
The brazen officers dispatched three Italian women to seduce the hunky Italian, then took compromising photos of the married World Cup winner with one of the honey trappers.
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Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Usain Bolt walks away from car crash
USAIN Bolt, the fastest man in the world, crashed his Beemer in Jamaica. Bolt, along with his brother and a female passenger, was taken to hospital near Kingston, where he was checked out before being sent home, with nothing worse than a few scratches, sustained when he stepped out of the car onto a thorn bush, and a wounded ego. Bolt’s passengers, his brother and an unnamed female, are also reported to be fine.
Bolt’s BMW M3, a gift from sponsors Puma, turned over in a ditch, after skidding off the road in slippery conditions. Last year, the sprinter spent the day at the Nurburgring motor racing circuit in Germany, for a track session designed to help him handle the powerful M3. Yeah, that worked, clearly.
Watch a news report on the crash after the jump…
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Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Spot the Man Utd fan who’s scared of swine flu
SPOTTED at Old Trafford during last night’s Champions League semi final between Man Utd and Arsenal. He must be a terrified Daily Mail reader.
United won 1-0, by the way, thanks to a John O’Shea goal from close range.
Bonus video! Watch Ronaldo throw his dummy out during the game, below…
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Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Simona Halep: Romanian Tennis Ace’s Picture Gallery
IN readiness for Wimbledon (that’s tennis, folks) Anorak introduces Simon Halep, the 17-year-old Romanian tennis ace who will be the tabloids’ new Anna Phwoar-nikova.
The pictures show a woman of rare talent and should bring the pages of Nuts magazine alive for the boys who pull the tarpaulin over the court when it rains…
Pictures:
Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (10)
