Malta equal Spurs striker Harry Kane’s haul of Cup Finals

“Any time we play a team like Malta,” says Spurs and England striker Harry Kane, “it’s their Cup Final. They’re going to want to win, going to want to surprise the world.”

Number of Cup Finals Kane has been in: one – the League Cup final. And in that his Tottenham Hotspur side lost to Chelsea.

And this is the same Harry Kane who played the full 90 minutes when plucky England lost 2-1 to mighty Iceland at the European Championships in June 2016.

England losing to Malta would not surprise the world. It would surprise only Harry Kane – who given his record in Cup Finals, suggests that the Spurs star is a man as lacking in humility as he is in winner’s medals.

In case Harry Kane is still grandstanding, these are highlights from the Guardian’s live blog from when England treated Iceland – the smallest nation ever to grace a major tournament – to a Cup Final:

66 mins: “England win a free-kick from about 30 yards and Harry Kane’s effort is appalling.”

83 mins: “Now it’s Harry Kane’s turn to miscontrol a simple pass and gift possession to Iceland.”

87 mins: “Harry Kane takes it and sends the ball soaring over the penalty area and straight out of play. That is absolutely pathetic.”

 

Good luck in all those Cup Finals, Harry!

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, September 2017 | In: News, Sports, Spurs | Comments (3)

Liverpool wanted £183m for crying Coutinho

Nobody from Sky News stood in the Anfield car park to herald Philippe Coutinho’s move from Liverpool to Barcelona. The Sun said the deal was done. But until a man wearing a Sky Sports pin, possibly with a large blue sex toy propositioning their earhole, tells us the move is done and dusted, we’re reaming circumspect. Coutinho stayed. And, if reports are to be believed, sobbed that the chance to play for Spain’s second or third best team passed him by.

Panicky Barcelona had offered Liverpool the lunatic sum of £138 for the Brazilian. Swollen by the cash earned from Neymar’s sale to the PSG, Barcelona spotted another small Brazilian and thought if they slap him in the club’s colours fans wouldn’t notice. But Liverpool were having none of it. And now we know that the Reds wanted – get this – £183m for this their best player.

A source on the Barcelona board says Liverpool valued Coutinho at €200m (£183m). Liverpool say they placed no price tag on the player. He wasn’t for sale, so why mention a fee, says the Premier League club? So is Albert Soler, Barcelona’s club’s director of professional sports wrong when he said: “Late last night, Liverpool priced the player we wanted at €200m, and we decided we would not do it.”

Meanwhile, in a wind-batted car park, Sky’s reporter on the frontline wonders if Abu Dhabi or Qatar can buy out his contract…

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, September 2017 | In: Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment

Liverpool balls: Philippe Coutinho joins Barcelona and then leaves in tears

Did Philippe Coutinho ever leave Liverpool for Barcelona? Yes, he did, says Neil Curtis in the Sun.

COUT AND DRIED Philippe Coutinho heading to Barcelona in stunning £138m deal from Liverpool with announcement set for 7pm

Adding:

The Merseyside club have finally accepted defeat in their bid to hold on to their prize asset as Coutinho heads to La Liga

And then… Coutinho stayed at Liverpool. Was this the Sun’s desperate attempt to seduce Liverpool fans to read the newspaper they hate? Because no sooner has the scoop proven to be utter balls than the Sun has another bash:

Facts to support that claim come there none.

And then this:

CRYING GAME Philippe Coutinho’s failed Barcelona move from Liverpool made him ‘break down in tears in front of Brazil team-mates’. Playmaker was reportedly distraught after learning that Reds would not be allowing him to make dream Nou Camp move

Such are the facts…

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, September 2017 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (2)

Chile star says story of Sanchez to Manchester City is total balls

What really happened with Alexis Sanchez’s aborted move to Manchester City? The papers are unsure. The Sun says Arsenal called Manchester City to “flog” their star player for £60m. Arsenal then called Monaco to buy Thomas Lemar for that £60m plus another £32m. But Lemar “snubbed” the Gunners. So the whole deal was off because Arsenal only said they would sell Sanchez if Lemar agreed to join them.

The odd bit is that Manchester City – who only made their first offer for Sanchez as late as last Tuesday – apparently told Sanchez it was a done deal. He told his Chile team-mates, who – get this – “gave him a round of applause” (Sun). The other less odd bit is that Arsenal maintained they would not sell Sanchez – and they didn’t.

The result is that Sanchez is “disappointed” (Mail) and “furious” (Sun). But the player has made no comment. The fury comes from unnamed sources, who add that Sanchez could now go on strike (Express). He could also decide to knuckle down and play brilliantly, perhaps even signing a new deal at Arsenal and so earning £300,000 week, up from his current £140,000 a week.

The papers are guessing. But one man is willing to go on the record. Bayern Munich and Chile’s Arturo Vidal says Sanchez never did get that round of applause. He says Sanchez was focused on Chile’s game against Paraguay and never mentioned joining Man City. “To whom? No, no, to nobody. Not to me. I don’t think so,” said Vial when asked abut Sanchez. “I think it was all made up because he was very focused on today’s game.”

What price that anonymous source was already counting 10% of £60m until Arsenal stuck to their guns..?

Anorak

Posted: 1st, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, News, Sports | Comment

Arsenal agree Sanchez to Manchester City deal to get Monaco’s Thomas Lemar

Manchester City can have Alexis Sanchez for £60m. Arsenal have agreed to sell the Chilean star who shone in Arsene Wenger’s mediocre side to Pep Guardiola’s project.

The deal – £55million up front and £5million in add-ons (if City win the Premier League; if Sanchez wins the Balloon d’Or; if Sergio Aguero doesn’t sulk) – will allow Arsenal to sign Monaco’s Thomas Lemar for – get this – £90m.

Woomph!

The Times says it is “understood that Monaco have accepted Arsenal’s club-record bid”.

Of course, not everyone agrees that Lemar will go to the Gunners. No deal is done until the player kisses the badge and books an appointment at a local hairdresser.

The Metro says Lemar wants to join Liverpool. Although their report contains not a single word from anyone saying that he does.

Let’s see what happens…

Anorak

Posted: 31st, August 2017 | In: Manchester City, News, Sports | Comment

Arsenal FC is declared dead and only the parasites remain

Arsenal are dead. So says the Sun, which links the club’s pulse to Alexis Sanchez’s whims, declaring that when the Chilean quits the club today – it is “inevitable he will, says the paper’s Neil Ashton – he’ll be leaving behind a corpse where there was once a club.

Sanchez would also be leaving the leeches, footballers whose presence at Arsenal is more parasitic than proud. Granti Xhaka, Shkodran Mustafi, Lucas Perez and Calum Chambers are rubbish on the “Arsenal scrapheap”.

But might it be that the Sun’s trash talk is a little late? It was last March 8 when the Sun’s Ashton told readers:

Arsenal Football Club, Rest In Peace. This institution, one of the most famous clubs in the world, is dead and buried. Here at the Emirates, the heart finally stopped beating.

Can you die twice? And can a thriving football club with millions in the bank die once? Because having watched Arsenal breathe its last in March, on June 1, the same Neil Ashton wrote:

Arsenal, no matter how many times they win the FA Cup, are only ever one defeat away from another meltdown among their fans..

To wit the obvious question: is Neil Ashton a Gooner?

Anorak

Posted: 31st, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (3)

Arsenal mug Liverpool for £40m Oxlade-Chamberlain

Liverpool have spent £40m on recruiting Arsenal and England’s nice, middle-class boy Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. The word mugged spring to mind. Arsenal might have kicked off the Premier League in indifferent form, but such a large fee for such an uninspiring, toothless player is a great result.

Since joining Arsenal in 2011, Oxlade-Chamberlain has made 198 appearances for the Gunners. And in every one he has been average at best and dire at worst. His most memorable appearance for Arsenal came in 2014 at Chelsea. As Arsenal played to a 6-1 defeat, Oxlade-Chamberlain tipped Eden Hazard’s shot around a post with his hand – and referee Andre Marriner sent off his team-mate Kieran Gibbs. (Even better news for Gooners is that the equally uncharismatic Gibbs has been shunted out to WBA.)

That case of mistaken identities, makes us wonder if Marriner is now working as Liverpool’s head of recruitment.

PS: Arsenal signed Oxlade-Chamberlain from Southampton. He joins a Liverpool side with more former Saints:

Nathaniel Clyne (Southampton to Liverpool, July 2015m, £12.5m)
Dejan Lovren (Southampton to Liverpool, July 2014, £20m)
Sadio Mane (Southampton to Liverpool, July 2016, £34m)
Adam Lallana (Southampton to Liverpool, July 2014, £25m)

PPS:  If they want another one, Arsenal should make Theo Walcott available.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comments (4)

Arsenal balls: rewriting history without Patrick Vieira

Using Arsenal’s 4-0 defeat at Liverpool to rewrite history is the work of the Daily Mail’s Sami Mokbel. The journalist has been in New York, where he spoke with former Arsenal midfielder Patrick Vieira, currently expanding the Manchester City brand with New York City. The tone is very much one of if only Arsenal had a player of Vieira’s calibre now.

Across the page, Mokbel talks of Arsenal’s “broken dressing room”. Mokbel likens the place to a “morgue” – although the Daily Telegraph hears the deathly quiet punctuated by the roar of fury as players rip into one another. Mokbel rearranges his earplugs and tells readers:

How Arsene Wenger could do with Patrick Vieira in his ranks. Sunday’s harrowing experience at Anfield would never have happened on the Frenchman’s watch.

Eh, yes it would have. December 23, 2000: Arsenal are beaten 4-0 at Anfield in the Premier League. Vieira plays the full 90 minutes.

The Arsenal team on that daty: Manninger, Dixon, Keown, Luzhny, Silvinho, Parlour, Vieira, Grimandi, Ljungberg, Bergkamp, Henry. Subs: Stepanovs, Pires, Wiltord, Lukic, Kanu.

Such are the facts.

Anorak

Posted: 30th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Arsenal to swap Alexis Sanchez for £20m and Manchester City’s Raheem Sterling

Yep, lots of Arsenal news and views today. I’m obsessed. That much is clear. But the doom and gloom is being lifted by what might resemble a cunning plan. Having offloaded the bog-standard English footballer Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain to Chelsea, who were so in dire need to native flesh and they invested £40m of Russian peasants’ cash  hard-earned moolah in ‘The Ox’, news is that Arsenal are in for his England colleague Raheem Sterling (the ex-Liverpool player who runs like a bearded dragon).

Manchester City want Arsenal’s Alexis Sánchez. Given that Sanchez fancies playing for Arsenal less than he does growing his leg hair out, the Gunners should sell the Chilean pronto. To sweeten the blow of losing their best player, City are offering cash (around £20m of Abu Dhabi’s GDP) plus the exciting Sterling, 22, who cost them £49m in 2015 .

If this deal goes through, then Arsenal win. They get a London-born footballer they have long coveted. They get shot of Sanchez, who will surely only fade at Arsenal. And they inject the dressing room with a dash of the unexpected.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment

After Liverpool, Arsenal players caught a ‘furious’ ‘morgue-like’ dressing room

Is the Arsenal dressing room noisy? Arsene Wenger told us after Stoke rode their luck to beat Arsenal 1-0:

“We have many leaders…of course at the moment, I would say Per Mertesacker and Laurent Koscielny are the captains with Petr Cech so the natural responsibility goes to them.”

So how is Wenger is the dressing room? Former Arsenal defender Nigel Winterburn told us yesterday:

“Arsene Wenger’s usually very calm and calculated, but I have known players to say over the past few seasons when he gets a performance he finds unacceptable he has lost his temper somewhat.”

Sami Mokbel in the Mail:

Another defeat, another virtually silent dressing room. If there was ever a time to air some home truths then Anfield’s away facilities at around 6pm on Sunday was it… by and large, yet again, it was a morgue. Lifeless.

And in the Telegraph:

Petr Cech ripped into his Arsenal team-mates as he conducted a dressing-room inquest… He was furious

Or as former Arsenal player Lee Dixon has it:

There should be a few people being told off in that dressing room but I don’t think there will be and that’s the problem.

And Wenger:

“If you find a manager who is happy with that performance today, I wish you good luck. The emotions are negative, but it’s not the right moment to talk about that.”

Calm and calculated, then, as usual. And Cech took the lead among the players, as Wenger says he does. Plus ca change at the Gunners.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Arsenal in decline: blame the greedy board not Wenger

Alex Oxlade-Chambelrin, the 24-year-old Arsenal footballer is worth – get this – £40m and £220,000 a week in wages. Possessed of less fight than a LibDem activist at a cannabis conference, the man media calls ‘The Ox’ (on account of his running style?) becomes the player who will next year or maybe the year after that or the year after that be utterly brilliant for Chelsea.

Surely Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger’s was wearing blinkers or a salesman’s shiny jacket when he told everyone a few days ago how Oxlade-Chamberlain was “one of the players we want to build around in the future’, who caused Wenger to say: “I’m convinced that he will be in the next two or three years the English player everyone looks at.”

The smart move would be for the Gunners to now ship out Alexis Sanchez and any other player not keen on staying the course.  Arsenal should take the £70m (Daily Star) Manchester City are willing to part with for Sanchez. They should then sack Wenger and the patently useless Ivan Gazidis, the chief executive who called for a “catalyst” for change, and saw it delivered in a 4-0 tonking at Liverpool in which Arsenal performed like moving cones on a training pitch. Although, in fairness, Gazidis didn’t specify which way the line of travel would be. But now we know it’s clearly downwards.

Sacking Wenger is the opinion of Ian Wright, the former Arsenal striker , who tells Sun readers: “GO, ARSENE.” A pall of uncertainty hangs over Arsenal and, according to Wright, it’s all Wenger’s fault. Wrong. It’s the owners who are to blame. They hire. They fire. The Arsenal board has grown fat on Wenger’s ability to delivers Champions’ League cash and a team capable of packing out The Emirates. They suits merely call for more of the same year on year. Coming fifth placed in last season’s Premier League should not have earned him a new two-year deal on an increased wage.

The Mirror says senior players are “fuming” over the lack of changes and singings at the club. Others might wonder why just a year after buying Shkodran Mustafi and Lucas Perez for a combined fee in excess of £50m, both are being touted for sale.

After yet another poor start to the season, Arsenal are “stale”. The Mail says the training routine never changes, adding that the club’s majority shareholder, ‘Silent’ Stan Kroenke, will keep backing Wenger – until the dividend cheques stop coming and the fans stop buying shirts.

If you want to know what’s gone wrong at Arsenal, be like ‘The Ox’ and follow the money.

Anorak

Posted: 29th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (2)

Arsenal: Mustafi, Oxlade-Chamblerlain and other dead wood out; Lemar, Asenio and Van Dijk in

Big news at Arsenal, where perennial, toothless ‘tomorrow man’ Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, 24, is smelling the money at Liverpool or Chelsea, lightweight left-back Kieran Gibbs is being offered to anyone, striker Lucas Perez is stinking up the place and if Arsenal can recoup the £34m they paid Valencia for Shkodran Mustafi, the troublesome German is out the door. And that’s before the Gunners look at Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil, two star turns yet to sign new contracts, and poppadom-boned Jack Wilshere – all in the final year of their respective contracts.

Will the Gunners upgrade? After all, those players could only muster a fifth-place spot for Arsenal in last season’s Premier League. If Arsenal are serious about bringing about what the club’s chief executive Ivan Gazidis called a “catalyst for change”, better players are needed. The manager’s not going anywhere, so the club needs players who can do something different.

Which leads to the rumour that Arsenal are prepared to meet Real Madrid’s £75m buyout clause to sign Spain midfielder Marco Asensio, 21, from Real Madrid, and continue to wave wads of cash at Monaco winger Thomas Lemar, 21, and Southampton defender Virgil van Dijk, 26.

It’s going to be busy at the Emirates before the transfer window shuts.

Anorak

Posted: 27th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Arsenal balls: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain rejects new deal for more money than he wanted

Arsenal’s Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is one of the Gunners contingent of nice middle-class boy lacking bite. In the final year of his Arsenal contract, the temptation must be for the club to cash in on the player they bought from Southampton in 2011 and whose been an inconsistent performer, rarely shining. Chelsea are keen, and have offered £35m for the player.

But Arsenal want to keep him. And they are prepared to pay big for the privilege.

In 2011, Arsenal manger Arsene Wenger said of his new recruit: “We are looking forward to him fulfilling his huge potential with Arsenal.”

In 2017, Wenger suggested that potential would soon be achieved: “I want him to stay here for a long time. I’m convinced that he will be in the next two or three years the English player everyone looks at.”

So what’s the player who is always on the verge of being great worth to the Gunners?

On June 11, the Daily Star said a new contract had been agreed:

A few days later and the Star said Oxlade-Chamberlain was “highly unlikely” to agree a deal to stay at Arsenal. Both reports remain online.

On August 25, Oxlade-Chamberlain had “rejected” an absurd £180,000-a-week to stay at the Gunners, said the Star.

That’s odd because on August 15, the Mirror reported The Ox wanted £150,00 a-week to stay.

The Sun agreed.

Sky Sports adds: “Arsenal to tell Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain if he can leave after he turns down new deal.” The deal that offered him more than he wanted?

Such are the facts.

Anorak

Posted: 25th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Clickbait: Conor McGregor thrashes Game of Thrones TWICE

It will cost you £1 to read the Daily Telegraph‘s story “Why dragons and fantasy are ruining Game of Thrones“.

Rebecca Hawkes begins:

On the face of it, asking whether Game of Thrones has “gone too fantasy” feels like a bit of a ridiculous question…

Clickbait isn’t all that easy when you’re not talking about sport. Hawkes can look enviously at other Telegraph headlines in today’s batch, and think about writing her next story as a question:

Alexis Sanchez fit to play against Liverpool – but will it be his final game for Arsenal?

Mayweather vs McGregor: What time does the fight start this weekend and who is predicted to win?

Not to be confused with the other story:

Mayweather vs McGregor: What time will the fight start, what date is it on and who is predicted to win?

Champions League group-stage draw 2017 – when and what time is it, what TV channel and what are the teams?

New Zealand vs Australia, 2017 Rugby Championship – what time is the Bledisloe Cup, what TV channel is it on and what is our prediction?

Can America remove President Donald Trump from office?

Two years after opening Germany’s doors to refugees, Angela Merkel stands tall. How has she done it?

Which celebrities have these GCSEs?

‘I’m a student about to go to university, will I need a TV licence?’

And the Top Most Read stories today:

Anorak

Posted: 24th, August 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Reviews, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment

Arsenal balls: ‘no Sanchez news’ excites the Mail and BBC

The BBC is engaging in a spot of clickbait. Below the question”Is Alexis Sanchez heading out of the Emirates?” it writes “Wenger not ruling out new Sanchez deal.”

Readers might well put the two headlines together and concoct the notion that Alexis Sanchez is leaving the Gunners. But that would be wrong. The BBC stokes the fires, noting “speculation linking the forward with a move away from the club”.

So what did Wenger says about that? Nothing.

“I don’t think he’s too much disturbed by all the noise, players at that level are used to it now. He is very focused, very happy and the fact he goes into the last year of his contract doesn’t mean we cant extend it.

“At the moment we haven’t, we just want to focus as a team and not look too much at the contracts of everybody.”

The BBC links to a Daily Mail story, one telling readers:

Manchester City still want Arsenal forward Alexis Sanchez, 28, before next week’s transfer deadline.

From the off that story is utter tosh:

Pep Guardiola identified the Gunners forward as a primary target this summer but has been surprised by Arsene Wenger’s resolve in keeping his prized asset.

The Man City manager is shocked that the Arsenal manager wants to keep his best player?

Guardiola is willing to wait until next summer to sign Sanchez for nothing should a transfer fail to materialise.

Unless Sanchez signs for Arsenal, in which case the plan’s foiled.

Anorak

Posted: 24th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment

Chelsea balls: Conte out and Tuchel in a fact-free story designed for clickbait

How clickbait football reporting works in the Daily Telegraph. The paper has no news for Chelsea fans.

A: The Daily Telegraph’s football reporter Matt Law tweets:

Chelsea are not interested in out-of-work German manager Thomas Tuchel. Got it.

B: The Daily Telegraph clickbait factory processes their top correspondent’s news. At 1:37 it reports:

Former Dortmund boss Thomas Tuchel to replace Antonio Conte at Chelsea

Says who? Not Matt Law, the paper’s own expert. The Telegraph’s balls is linked to a story in German tabloid Bild. It says – and reading via Google translate is always fun:

The fuse of Klubinger Roman Abramovich and his confidante, the Chelsea director Marina Granovskaia, is now to be very brief in the Conte case. And Granovskaia, who is considered to be the most powerful woman in world football, has apparently already been informed about Tuchel in detail and has decided on him as a new Chelsea coach.

What makes sense is that the international tradeshow market is currently producing only two names that have worked successfully at the Champions League level at large clubs and are directly available. Next to Tuchel are Luis Enrique (47), who worked for FC Barcelona until the end of last season. However, his English is not exactly good. Advantage Tuchel, the language almost perfectly mastered.

In addition, Tuchel is more likely to lead young players at the highest level while at the same time inspiring the top stars for themselves, their work and their goals. Exactly with this, Conte had problems after winning the championship. He will be lured into the club.

So Tuchel has not been hired to replace Conte at Chelsea. And he’s tipped for the job because he speaks decent English. Don’t clear your locker just yet, Antonio.

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, August 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Liverpool balls: Barcelona ‘give up’ on Coutinho by upping their offer

Is Philippe Coutinho leaving Liverpool for Barcelona? He wants to. the Brazilian has put in for a transfer. He’s not played for Liverpool this season, having been injured and now laid low with a virus. How unlucky is that, eh? Hope he’s feeling better for his Barcelona medical.

But he’s not leaving. No way. The Mirror told us as much yesterday.

Liverpool have won their battle with Barcelona over Philippe Coutinho with the Spanish giants admitting defeat in their bid to prise him away… Barca have finally accepted that Liverpool won’t sell Coutinho to them this month.

The Mirror cements its scoop on today’s back page leading with: “Welcome home, all is forgiven.” That headline hovers around a photo of Coutinho and Jurgen Klopp, the Liverpool manger, hugging one another.

Meanwhile…over in the Sun:

BARCELONA are to launch a final £136million bid for Philippe Coutinho. The Catalan giants… are ready with a fourth offer of £100m up front with add-ons of £36m

Such are the facts.

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, August 2017 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comments (4)

Arsenal balls: Jack Wilshere hits ‘career low’ as Man City’s Smith auditions for the big time

How much editorial spin can be heaped upon Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere, who last night responded angrily to a late foul by Manchester City’s Matthew Smith as the pair contested an Under 23 encounter. (Wilshere is 25.) Once viewed as the greatest English player of his generation, Wishere has by way of injury and the emergence of brighter talents at Arsenal and elsewhere fallen well down the pecking order.

In the handbags that followed, Wilshere shoved Smith in the chest – the City player went down faster than a Love Island contestant, before clutching his head and laying in the foetal position for some time – and scrapped with Tyreke Wilson. Both Wilshere and Wilson were sent off. Smith was dispatched with a single bullet to the temple.

And the press?

Wilshere sent off for Arsenal after pushing opponent – Evening Standard

Jack Wilshere sent off for Arsenal after flooring Man City player – The Sun

It was a “career low” – The Sun

Jack Wilshere sent off for Arsenal to cast further doubt over his future – Daily Telegraph

After the hype, let’s leave you with the balls. Matthew Smith, take a bow… and keep going down and down and down until your nose hits the turf. (Tip: next time you audition for the Premier League, remember to slap the grass with an open hand as if you’re giving birth and to check the other hand – the one that’s been holding your head on – for signs of blood and brain.)

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Broadsheets, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Media bias: Manchester City never dive, Kyle Walker gets the elbow and Everton con the ref

Media bias: When Kyle Walker was sent off on his Manchester City debut, a few voices thought he’d been hard done by, arguing that his second yellow card was harsh. We’ve gone round the publications to see what they thought of it.

What was Walker looking at?

First up, and by way of a benchmark, we go to John Murray (BBC):

It probably wasn’t a yellow card but it was a silly thing for Kyle Walker to do just after he was booked. He’s not looking at the ball, he’s looking at the man. 

BBC match report:

Walker is looking at a high ball in the air, takes a quick peep at Dominic Calvert-Lewin behind him and catches the Everton man with a brush of the arm. It is not an elbow.

Pretty clear, then, that Walker was looking at the man not the ball.

The Sun:

Walker’s dismissal seemed particularly harsh as he appeared to be looking at the ball rather than Calvert-Lewin when he leapt.

Not clear at all, then. He was looking at the man and also ,er, not looking at the man.

What about the clubs’ respective websites?

Everton FC website: “City lose their discipline after falling behind… Walker paid the penalty for receiving two yellow cards.” What he received them for is not enlarged upon.

Manchester City website: “The wing-back’s first yellow came for a sliding challenge on Leighton Baines, and the second left the Etihad crowd bemused after he was cautioned for a collision with Dominic Calvert-Lewin.” Walker committed no fouls, according to City. The first was for a “challenge”. The second was for a “collision”, a coming together.

And the experts?

Graham Poll (Daily Mail): 

It was a foul, nothing more. No need for a card. He got it wrong.

Gary Neville:

“He’s backing into him, the amount of times I did this as a full-back, you try and use your body to establish your position. Calvert-Lewin’s gone down, he’s been clever, he’s been effective in the first half.

“He’s held his head and that’s what I think conned the referee. You could say it’s clever from Calvert-Lewin, you could say it’s cute. Personally, it’s a soft second yellow.”

What about the local media?

Manchester Evening News: “Kyle Walker was farcically sent off.”

The paper then accuses the Everton player of acting:

Kyle Walker must feel like one of the unluckiest footballers on the planet right now after receiving one of the most ridiculous red cards you will ever see.

The City right back was rightly booked for a foul on Leighton Baines, but moments later, as he and Dominic Calvert-Lewin jockeyed for position under a high ball, the Everton man bumped into his back and dramatically fell to the deck.

The MEN says “Calvert Lewin makes a huge meal of it”.

Play acting is not what City players do, right? The MEN also reports on City’s match with Arsenal’s Under 23s last night, in which Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere was sent off. The MEN hails his red card: “This will cheer you.” See if you can see any dramatic falls to the ground here?

The moment Jack Wilshere was sent off. pic.twitter.com/u826qUIooo

— Arsenal News (@ArsenalFC_fl) August 21, 2017

Liverpool Post: “Kyle Walker was shown a second yellow card following a challenge on Calvert-Lewin and was sent off.”

Such are the facts.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, August 2017 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment (1)

Arsenal balls: missing Ozil is the fourth best player on the pitch

The modern media trick is to report a football match and cover all the angles in a scattergun of clickbait and ‘debate’. And so it is for the Sun’s reporting on Stoke City’s 1-0 win over Arsenal. The trouble begins when readers notice the corruption of facts.

In one story, the paper slams Arsenal star Mesut Ozil’s “lifeless performance”. Another story on the game is punctuated with “Should Arsenal get rid of Ozil now?” Yet another story tells readers: “Ozil, indeed, played like a deserter, hiding in plain sight.” Steven Gerrard, the former Liverpool captain now working as TV pundit, was “100 per cent right” to call Ozil a “liability”, says the paper’s Ken Lawrence.

And that’s odd because in the Sun’s round-up of the match, Ozil scores a 7 out of 10, making him the Gunners’ second best performer after Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (8) – and the joint fourth best player on the pitch after ‘The Ox’, Stoke’s Jack Butland (8 – the game’s Man of the Match) and Jese (8).

Have the tabloids got it in for Ozil, or have they simply worked out that slamming him get Arsenal fans excited? Just last week, the Mirror labelled Ozil a “loser”, although all the facts pointed to him being anything but. It’s almost as if the stories write themselves to an agenda.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment (1)

Media bias: Arsenal robbed, Stoke imperious and three penalties

Media Bias: a look at bad reporting in Stoke City’s 1-0 win over Arsenal in the Premier League. Stoke scored a perfectly good goal, a swift strike on the counter attack that ws waved on by Arsenal’s lacklustre and horribly overrated Mesut Ozil. But should Arsenal have had a penalty or three? What say the reporters?

The Arsenal website has the figures: “Seventy-seven per cent possession, six shots on target, one big penalty shout and one disallowed goal – but ultimately no points from Saturday’s Premier League clash with Stoke City.”

Seems fair. Arsenal manger Arsene Wenger offers his appraisal of the match. He says Lacazette’s “goal” was “one hundred per cent” a good goal. “I’ve just watched it and it’s not offside at all. Even his foot was not offside. We have to swallow that and we should have scored despite that.”

Managers have their own views. But the Arsenal website has more on the Lacazette goal:

Alexandre Lacazette did have the ball in the net with 20 minutes to go, only to be flagged offside when replays suggested he was level.

Over on the Stoke City website, no word on how the Potters were overran in possession. Indeed, they were the team that always looked more likely to score.

Hughes’ men started the second half in scintillating fashion when Berahino did well to find Jese inside the box and the attacker finished brilliantly past Cech to give City the lead they thoroughly deserved.

The Stoke win was emphatic:

City remained comfortable for the remainder of the match, with the Gunners hardly threatening.

Stoke City readers might wonder why if the Potters were such easy winners the team’s goalkeeper, Jack Butland, was Man of the Match, which he was.

What about the penalty Arsenal thought they should have been awarded in the first half?

No word on the Stoke City website, but as one write on the Stoke Sentinnel website Wenger a moaner and the “boy who cried wolf”, another notes “the referee’s failure to spot Mame Diouf’s first-half challenge for what should have been an obvious penalty“.

On BBC’s Match of the Day, pundit Jemaine Jenas says Arsenal should have had – get this – three penalties.

Such are the facts.

Anorak

Posted: 20th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment

What are they smoking? Liverpool reject £118 bid for Coutinho

To borrow a phrase from Liverpool’s owner, John W. Henry,”What do you think they’re smoking over there at Anfield?” Liverpool have rejected Barcelona’s bid of – get this –  £118.7million for Philippe Coutinho, 25. The player wants to go. He put in for a transfer. The money is huge. So what’s the issue?

Liverpool say the matter is now closed. Coutinho stays. But why keep a player whose head has been turned? Of course, if Barcelona have £118m they could get £128. Barcelona’s bidding is a haphazard and desperate affair. Bloated with cash they got for Neymar’s more to PSG (£198m), the club have issued bids for Coutinho of £72m, £90m and now £118m.

So why not hold out and see what occurs? Fenway Sports Group, Liverpool’s US owners, are in it for the money. And this is a lot of  money. But they say theirs is a  “definitive stance”. Coutinho stays.

Unless Henry can get bigger slice of the fee – which is, after all, to be divided between many grasping hands and is pursuant on the player winning the top prizes.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, August 2017 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comments (10)

Chelsea move to sue Diego Costa

No sooner has Diego Costa walked out on Chelsea than the press started to work out how much money his strop will cost the Spain striker. The Express calculates that on an annual wage of £7m a year, striking until January 1 2018, when he can join Atletico Madrid, will cost Costa £3m. (Atletico are subject to a transfer embargo until Jan 1).

Make that £13m, says the Star. Like the Mirror, it says Chelsea could sure Costa for breach of contract.

Odd, isn’t it, that the player whose gamesmanship and nastiness left many fans bemused by his lack of red cards should now have dismissed himself. Perhaps he tired of waiting for the referee?

Chelsea want Costa back to train with the squad, as per the terms of his contract. Costa moans “Chelsea don’t want to release me” and “My destination is already set. I must return to Madrid”. But according to the Sun, Atletico Madrid will pay £30m for Costa – £20m less than Chelsea think he’s worth.

“When we heard [Chelsea manager Antonio] Conte didn’t want me anymore, my agent went to find out if there was interest from Atletico for me coming back,” says Costa. “Of course for the warmth and respect that I earned there, they showed interest, but they wouldn’t pay a fortune… If I’m not part of the manager’s plans, I would like to choose my destination – I’m not going to let them decide just to get more money.”

The only winner here look likely to be Aletico, who can sit back and watch Costa’s value plummet.

Anorak

Posted: 18th, August 2017 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Spurs balls: Levy puts Dele Alli in the shop window

In the mad world of football transfers, what is Tottenham and Spurs’ talented irritant Dele Alli worth? Helpfully the BBC says he’s worth £150m. Its story is rooted in the Sun’s “exclusive”, which says Dele Alli won’t be sold to Manchester City or Barcelona “even for £150million”.

The article adds that Spurs chairman Daniel Levy “has made it clear 21-year-old Alli is not for sale at any price”. In other words, anyone who wants to buy the player can start the bidding at £150m. As the story adds:

And with Neymar moving to PSG for £198m and Kylian Mbappe expected to follow him for £160m, Levy sees no reason why Alli should not be in a similar bracket.

Levy’s dangling Alli in the water and is waiting to see if any oil-soaked fish is mad enough to bite. And as Levy sticks Alli in a basque and suspenders and puts him in the store window, the pretence continues that he’s anything but waiting for a massive bid. “Levy has made it clear his future is at White Hart Lane,” adds the Sun blithely.

The really odd thing about the Sun’s scoop is that it contains not one quote from Levy. His “warning” to the world that only £150m-ish will get Alli contains not a word that can be attributed to him irrefutably and directly. If the Spurs chairman won’t go on the record, why is news of Alli’s non sale news at all?

When did the Sun become Tottenham’s salesroom?

Anorak

Posted: 17th, August 2017 | In: Back pages, News, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment (1)

Arsenal balls: ‘missing’ Ozil creates more chances than any other player

The tabloids love to bash Arsenal’s Mesut Ozil. It’s not alway fair criticism. Take Arsenal’s Premier League opener against Leicester City. The Gunners won 4-3. But according to the Daily Mirror, Ozil as a “loser”:

With Alexis Sanchez missing through injury, this was a big night for Mesut Ozil to take centre stage but he failed to make any impact on the game.

No impact at all?

The German superstar… failed to create any goalscoring chances for Alexandre Lacazette.

According to the Premier League website, Ozil made one “big chance”, had three shots and won 5 of 9 “duels”. Indeed, elsewhere on the Mirror’s website, Ozil “looked to set up chances”. In fact, he created six chances in the match.

Such are the facts.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment