Anorak

Posted: 5th, October 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

This official Liverpool clock plays You’ll Never Walk Alone on the hour!

We are indebted to Pies for this gem of an item for Liverpool fans looking to buy a clock. The Bradford Exchange are offering this £197.94 ‘Liverpool FC Stadium clock’, an officially licensed piece of merchandise to enliven any wall.

It is what Bill Shankly and Bob Paisley would have wanted.

Plays You’ll Never Walk Alone on the hour! Every hour!

Via. The Bradford Exchange

Posted: 4th, October 2016 | In: Liverpool, The Consumer | Comment

Manchester United career not enough for Ryan Giggs to land Swansea job

When Swansea sacked head coach Francesco Guidolin on his 61st birthday too, the British Press all tipped former Manchester United player Ryan Giggs to replace him. Daily Mail columnist Jamie Redknapp said he’d be “amazed” if Giggs didn’t get the job.

Giggs didn’t get the job. Swansea’s US-based owners Steve Kaplan, Jason Levein and chairman Huw Jenkins appointed former USA coach Bob Bradley, who leaves Ligue 2 side Le Havre. Bradley was chosen for his “experience and character”. He is the first American coach to work in the Premier League.

Giggs, says the Mail, failed his interview. The paper says Giggs “was confident of landing his first permanent post having held an interview with Swans chairman Huw Jenkins last week.”

The owners had “concerns about his lack of experience and an underwhelming interview scuppered Giggs’s chances”.

Giggs – who has worked as Louis Van Gaal’s Number 2 coach at Manchester United, for whom he played 672 times – lacked experience. Bradley – who never played professionally and has managed the Princeton Tigers, Chicago Fire, Egypt and the USA – has the better CV.

It’s not hard to imagine that Bradley, who went to Princeton University and worked in the Procter & Gamble’s executive training program, was better in interview than Giggs, especially those parts when they fire question, like ‘What is 10 per cent of £12.50’ and ‘Can Swansea build a franchise in the USA – discuss?’ and ‘Is it ever OK to high-five a player after-scoring a goal?’

In May 2016, thy Times wrote, “Giggs as Manchester United manager? It will happen one day if he waits patiently enough, rather than risking his reputation elsewhere.”

Last questions: Was missing out on the Swansea job a lucky escape?

Posted: 4th, October 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment

Media Balls: Arsenal’s winner sat Burnley was legal and what the referee saw

Media Balls: a look at newspaper reporting on Burnley v Arsenal. There were all manner of contradictory views spouted to deadline when Arsenal scored in the last moments to win the Premier League match. But what says the expects in rules?

Helpfully, the mainstream media provides a care home for retired referees.

Graham ‘The Thing from Tring’ Poll (Daily Mail):

Referee Craig Pawson couldn’t see the last-minute incident involving Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Laurent Koscielny and even if he had, it is a 50-50 call. I watched the replays three times and I still don’t know whether it was deliberate handball on Koscielny’s part. The defender’s arms are only up because he was trying to play the ball with his feet

Mark Halsey delivers his ‘Verdict’ in The Sun:

THE referee has to disallow that goal. Craig Pawson has a good view and the assistant referee is looking straight at it.

He has to disallow the goal. Or not.

Handball is the only part of the law where intent comes into play. But while you can argue that Laurent Koscielny’s handball is not deliberate, it resulted in a goal and it could have gone wide if the ball had not hit his arm.

Not quite a verdict, then. More of a ‘what if’.

Posted: 3rd, October 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Manchester United balls: Jose Mourinho never criticises players for missing chances (except when he does)

It’s tempting to think that there are two sides to Jose Mourinho: the bitchy, pouting manager who delivers barbs and criticism to the media and the man who rouses a side to give their all for him and charms owners of big clubs.

After Manchester United drew 1-1 with Stoke, Mourinho was stood in front of the Press pack. Would be once more be pointing fingers?

“I never criticise my players for missing chances,” he said. “Their goalkeeper is the Man of the Match and deservedly so. We had some open chances where we could do better but I am never critical of my players for this. I can be critical of the attitude, with the quality of performance and for naive mistakes sometimes, but not in front of goal.”

Really? On 14 Sep 2013, after Chelsea had lost 1-0 to Everton, Mourinho told media: “We were the best team because we played the best football, because we dominated the whole game, because we had 21 shots. But by the other way, a team who has 21 shots – some easy, in easy situations – and made a mistake at the end of the first half, maybe I should say we deserved to lose.”

Also in 2013, he said: “Missing goals. It’s always the same words. It’s unbelievable. Even on the bench, I feel every time we miss a chance and the score is 0-0, 1-0, 2-1, 1-1, I feel the pressure. I feel that missing the chances, maybe later you are punished. We have this problem.”

And in December 2015: “The only time we had a contact with the ball (in the box) was the Matic one but it was difficult for him with his mask. It was also difficult because the cross was really fast, which made it difficult for him to react and to give direction to the ball. I know the goal was empty but that one was difficult. The other ones, short and low crosses, if you are in the box you tap the ball in.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 3rd, October 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment

BBC twists Liverpool star James Milner’s words on Klopp

Can the media makes Liverpool midfielder James Milner sound controversial? Milner, 30, features on the BBC’s ‘gossip’ pages. The State broadcaster reports: “James Milner, 30, says Reds boss Jurgen Klopp is the best manager he has played under.”

That’s a bold statement. Milner has been managed by such top managerial talents as Terry Venables, Sir Bobby Robson, Graeme Souness, Martin O’Neill, Roberto Mancini, Manuel Pellegrini and Brendan Rodgers. Milner says Klopp is better than all of them. Well, so the BBC says.

The Telegraph is less certain: “Liverpool news: Jurgen Klopp may be best manager I’ve ever had, says James Milner.”

So what did the honest and likeable Milner actually say?

“I’ve probably had too many managers but every manager is different,” said Milner. “They all have their own strengths and weaknesses. He [Klopp] is a top manager and he’s definitely one of the best that I have worked with.”

Did Milner says Klopp is the best manager he has ever played for? No. Did he snub the other managers? No. Did he say something controversial? No.

Did the BBC twist his words? Yes.

Posted: 3rd, October 2016 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Liverpool, Sports | Comment (1)

Arsenal beat Burnley: Koscielny scores handy winner (video)

ARSENAL SCORE LAST MIN WINNER

SHIT GOAL BUT WE WILL TAKE IT COYG pic.twitter.com/Vw7ui4TzoY

— Gordon (@AFCSupremo) October 2, 2016

Arsenal beat Burnley at Turf Moor 1-0 with pretty much the last kick of the game. Laurent Koscielny mugged the ball over the line. But did it hit his hand on the way in? He knew nothing about it, that much appears certain.

Koscielny signed for Arsenal from Lorient six years ago for £8.45million. If John Stones is worth £50m, what price the Frenchman?

As for the goal, well, opinion is divided.

The Mirror says “Burnley’s fans will be furious handball wasn’t given when the ball was kicked into Koscielny’s arms which were by his face.”

The Sun: “Approaching the 92nd minute, a late corner was swung in and Oxlade-Chamberlain made contact.”

However, the ball appeared to hit Laurent Koscielny on the hand as it deflected into the net.

The Indy: “A late winner! ‘The Ox’ blasts it into Koscielny and it goes in. The visitors nick a win!”

The Arsenal website:

Burnley Express: “Not only was Arsenal’s late winner a huge kick in the teeth for the home side but it arrived in the most controversial of circumstances as goalscorer Laurent Koscielny handled the ball over the line from an offside position.”

Trevor Sinclair tells BBC listeners: “I am absolutely gutted for the Burnley players. It is a handball.”

The BBC says:

Mesut Ozil delivers the corner from the right. The ball is headed to the far post by Theo Walcott – yes, Theo Walcott – and there is Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain whose awkward effort on goal appears to come off the elbow of Laurent Koscielny and fly into the net. Defender Koscielny also ends up in the net seemingly unaware he’s scored what is likely to be the winner.

The Mail adds: “The Frenchman appeared to handle the ball from an offside position as he deflected the ball in from close range after Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain shot from close range.”

The Guardian adds: “The goal was controversial, beyond the allotted allocation of injury-time, Koscielny handballed the ball into the net, and he was surely offside when Oxlade Chamberlain kicked the ball into his team-mate.”

London Evening Standard: “Oxlade-Chamberlain wins it at the death for Arsenal! A short corner and a Sanchez cross. Walcott flicks it on. Koscielny and Oxlade-Chamberlain both look offside. Both kick it. It goes in. Somehow!”

He wan’t offside. It was ball to hand. Two minutes were added on for injury time – the goal game in the 94th minute.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 2nd, October 2016 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Media Balls: Liverpool stirred as Swansea cruelly disingtergrated

Media balls: a look at monocular reporting on Swansea v Liverpool, which the Reds won 1-2.

The Times says Liverpool were “disjointed at the Liberty stadium and flattered by the victory that came gift-wrapped from the opposition courtesy of two bad defensive errors in the second half.” The winning goal came when Swansea went into “meltdown”. The goal followed a series of “egregious errors”.

The Indy says “Swansea’s defence disintegrated”.

The BBC says the results was “cruel on Swansea”.

The Guardian: “Borja, the club’s £15.5m record signing, squandered two excellent chances, the second of which came after Fer had put Swansea ahead.” This was compounded by “Van der Hoorn’s awful late miss”.

The Liverpool Echo says “Liverpool staged a stirring second-half comeback”.

The Daily Mirror says Liverpool were “irresistible“. Adding that “this was the type of victory that runs through any title challenge like writing through rock.” Well, so long as the other side suffer “defensive aberrations“, it might be.

In Klopp’s 37th Premier League games, his team has conceded 50 goals.

Sometimes a win courtesy of late penalty doesn’t bear the analysis.

Posted: 2nd, October 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Manchester City balls: ‘Obscene’ Raheem Sterling v The Sun

Manchester CIty’s Raheem Sterling is “THE HATED ONE” So says the Sun ,which says the Manchester City “star”, a player “reborn under Pep Guardiola despite coming under attack from fans this summer”. The paper laments the “torrent of abuse” heaped upon Sterling, who says the attacks “hurt”.

Under attack from fans? What about attacks from the Press. Guess which paper called Sterling “Obscene” after he showed his social medial followers around the house the “failure” bought his dear old mum?

Such are the facts.

Posted: 2nd, October 2016 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Toni Kroos ‘joins’ but will consider offers from Manchester City

Transfer balls – a look at dire football reporting. The BBC says Manchester City and Manchester United are chasing Real Madrid midfielder Toni Kroos, 26. Spanish TV show El Chiringuito and the Metro free newspaper agree.

The Metro ups the ante by saying City and United will go to “War” over Kroos. War was declared by Spanish journalist Pipe Estrada on El Chiringuito. “A war of two great coaches of international prestige, Guardiola and Mourinho, for a player, a player of Real Madrid: Toni Kroos,” says Estrada. “The two managers believe that he may be key to their future because of his tactical position on the field and because he is vital for the continuity of their projects.”

The Manchester Evening News adds: “Manchester United and Man City to go to war over Real Madrid midfielder Kroos.”

The Sun thunders: “ROOSING FOR A BRUISING Manchester United transfer news: Jose Mourinho and Manchester City boss to battle it out for Real Madrid star Toni Kroos.”

One Spanish journalist speaks and the British Press repeat his claim verbatim.

But how right is he?

In June 2016, the Express said: “Jose Mourinho has reportedly told the board to do whatever it takes to bring the German World Cup winner to Old Trafford.”

In March 2016, the Metro told its readers: “Manchester United transfer news: Gonzalo Higuain deal agreed, Toni Kroos available…”

Higuain never did agree to join Man United. He joined Juventus.

And neither did Kroos. In May 2014, the Daily Mail said Kroos had joined Man United.

Other news sources also agree that Kroos had signed for Manchester United.

In other transfer news, the BBC says Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho has been told “he must sell a player before moving for Southampton’s £10m-rated defender Jose Fonte, 32.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 2nd, October 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Transfer balls: Mesut Ozil signs new Arsenal deal and gets replaced by Marco Reus

Transfer balls: Arsenal star Mesut Ozil is heading back to Real Madrid, says the BBC. Well, maybe. Maybe not.

The Beeb’s source is TuttoMercatoWeb.com, which says Ozil to Real will trigger a bid from Arsenal for Borussia Dortmund’s Marco Reus.

Meanwhile, over in Ozil’s native Germany, Bild reports that the player has signed a lucrative new contract at Arsenal and will take Jack Wilshere’s number 10 shirt.

The Sun agrees.

And disagrees.

They haven’t got a clue.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 1st, October 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

The entire first season of Danny Dyer’s The Real Football Factories in one 60 second chunk

“I edited the entire first season of Danny Dyer’s The Real Football Factories into one 60 second chunk,” tweets ‏@AchinglyChic.

It’s brilliant:

I edited the entire first season of Danny Dyer's The Real Football Factories into one 60 second chunk. pic.twitter.com/U8thmYU9CR

— #BROKEN Wil Jones (@AchinglyChic) September 29, 2016

Posted: 30th, September 2016 | In: Celebrities, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment

Arsenal balls: Wenger wants the England job, a new Arsenal contract and to quit

Is Arsenal manger Arsene Wenger to become the next England saviour? The Mirror says Wenger has “admitted” that he wants the job.

John Cross’ report begins: “Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger admits interest in England job after Sam Allardyce departure.”

The trouble is that more we read the more that headline admittance reduces in potency. Cross adds: “The Gunners boss had admitted it could interest him to take over the Three Lions once his work at the Emirates is done.”

Can you admit something that could not happen?

Of course we know when Wenger’s Arsenal work will be done because John Cross told us the man will leave the Gunners at this end of this season:

Wenger will quit on June 30 2017, said John Cross in the Mirror.

Or as John Cross tells us today in the third Wenger admittance of a short story: “Wenger admitted his priority is to stay at Arsenal and get a new contract as his current £8m-a-year deal expires this summer.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 30th, September 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Media balls: Manchester United’s Zlatan Ibrahimovich beats Zorya Luhansk on his holiday

Yesterday the Mirror reported that Zlatan Ibrahimovich had left Manchester United for a holiday. The Mirror said the “holiday” would mean Ibrahimovich missing Manchester United’s Europa League match with the mighty Zorya Luhansk.

The Sun agreed: “Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic looks set to miss Thursday night match vs Zorya as he holidays in Milan.”

So what did Zlatan do on his holiday? Well, he played for Manchester United in the Europa League and scored the winner.

Update: The Mirror has now changed its story to read: “Zlatan Ibrahimovic returns for Manchester United’s clash with Zorya Luhansk after holiday in Italy.”

Update 2: When the big media speaks the websites follow. Get a load of this terrible reporting on Sports Mole.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 29th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Gareth Southgate wants the England job he says he’s unqualified for

With greedy Sam Allardyce defenestrated, new England manager Gareth Southgate has four matches to prove himself. If he does well, the England job could be his for keeps. And he wants it. In today’s Times, we read: “Southgate eyes England job full time.”

Gareth Southgate wants to be the next permanent England manager and is viewing his four matches in temporary charge as an opportunity to stake a claim for the job on a full-time basis.

This is the same Gareth Southgate who opined on September 5:

“I can see the logic in terms of the odds but it wasn’t a route I felt I was ready to take. I’m pretty clear on what I’m comfortable with but also I know to take that role wasn’t something I think I’ve got the experience for. I think it’s one of the ultimate jobs and you want every skill set possible when you go into it. Sam obviously has years and years of experience. I think with England there are one or two other things that I would want to have had experience of before I took that role”

One new thing he experienced is Sam Allardyce getting caught in a newspaper sting. What else Southgate’s experienced in the past 24 days is for him and his priest.

Posted: 29th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment

Arsenal Wenger ‘sets the date’ for Arsenal departure but keeps everyone guessing

How do you follow Sam Allardyce? With a broom, perhaps. The Football Association has a better idea: wait for caretaker boss Gareth Southgate to fail and then appoint Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger. The BBC says that’s the plan. The London Evening Standard agrees. It’s Wenger for England.

Wenger’s current Arsenal contract expires at the end of this season. Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke and the club’s chief executive Ivan Gazidis want him to sign a new deal.

The FA has chased Wenger for some time. The Telegraph says Wenger was the FA’s first choice to succeed Roy Hodgson after the European Championship. But they failed to get him.

The Daily Star says Wenger will say ‘yes’ if the FA ask him again: “EXCLUSIVE: Arsene Wenger open to becoming England boss.” The exclusive is anything but. While “Starsport understands the Arsenal boss is interested in taking charge in the build-up to the 2018 World Cup in Russia”, Wenger tells Sky Sports: “My priority is always Arsenal and I have to assess how well I do until the end of the season.”

Mentions of England by Wenger: nil.

Put that through the headline generator and the Mail delivers: “Arsene Wenger keeps door open for England job.”

The apogee of no-news is in the Independent, which declares, “Arsenal could be poised to extend Arsene Wenger’s contract with the club after the Frenchman was linked to the new England job.”

The media has no idea what Wenger will do next. Well, all apart from the Mirror:

Such are the facts.

Posted: 29th, September 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Manchester United balls: Zlatan’s finger food

Are footballers indulged? The Daily Mirror says Manchester United have allowed Zlatan Ibrahimovic to go on “holiday”. Six Premier League matches into the season and Zlatan is off to work on his tattoos.

Ibrahimovic has travelled to Milan. The Mirror repeats a Gazzetta story. The Italian organ says that on September 25th Zlatan ate at the city’s Finger’s Garden restaurant. The Mirror says this ‘holiday’ (aka meal) means Zlatan will miss Man United’s Europa League match against Zorya Luhansk.

Two things about this story stand out. Who calls their restaurant Fingers Garden? It sounds like a Buzzfeed-style website. A quick look around the internet reveals it to be a Japanese restaurant. Do the Japanese eat fingers? The Yakuza engage in Yubitsume – amputating bits of fingers to atone for indiscretions.

Secondly, is Zlatan really on holiday? The Sun wonders, “Why does the 34-year-old need a rest with the upcoming international break coming up?”

You can fly to Milan in a few hours from Manchester. What a man who earns over £200,000-a-week did was go out for dinner in a foreign country. It’s the kind of thing minted footballers do.

Now stop biting your nails, Zlatan, the main course is coming…

Posted: 28th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Jamie Vardy’s skittles vodka and Sam Allardyce’s pint of wine

Jamie Vardy is plugging his autobiography. The Leicester City and England striker tells a good story in From Nowhere.

I had a three-litre vodka bottle at home I would put loads of Skittles sweets in. After that, you can drink the vodka neat and it tastes just like Skittles. When I was bored at home in the evening I’d pour myself a glass, sit back and enjoy. The vodka was decent but it wasn’t doing much for my dead leg, which didn’t stop bleeding for ages.

Dave Rennie, the physio, said he couldn’t believe it wasn’t improving. He’d seen a torn calf muscle heal quicker. He pulled me aside one day when nobody else was about.

“What are you doing?” Dave asked.

“Nothing I wouldn’t normally do,” I replied. Then I explained that what I’d normally do was drink Skittle vodka.

“Well, that will be why, then,” Dave said.

In other news, during a sting which has caused England manager Sam Allardyce to be investigated by the FA, he appears to have drank a pint of wine. The Guardian notes:

One question our useful feature doesn’t answer is what exactly is the England boss drinking in the picture on the front page of the Telegraph. The beverage is in a pint glass but it’s definitely not beer and doesn’t look like lager. Football365 are suggesting it’s wine…

A pint of wine? Skittles vodka. It’s like the football revolution with it microbiotic diets and image rights never happened. Football might have been repackaged for the lentil-munching classes, telling us to sit down, shut up and pay up, but here is evidence that something of the old game lingers. And you know what – we love it, don’t we.

Posted: 27th, September 2016 | In: Books, Sports | Comment

Transfer balls: what Manchester United understand about selling Juan Mata

Transfer Ball – Manchester United midfielder Juan Mata is “desperate” to stay at Old Trafford, says the BBC.

The Sun says the likeable 28-year-old, who has two years left on his “£130,000-a-week contract”, wants Jose Mourinho to sanction a new deal. We know this because an unnamed “United source” says “Juan is still in the dark over his future at the club”.

Why would a source at the club speak up on behalf of one player? this story has the player’s agent’s fingers all over it.

It was only back in July, we read: “Daley Blind and Juan Mata will be high-profile victims of Jose Mourinho’s arrival at Manchester United this summer, Sky Sports News HQ understands.”

Sky Sports was wrong. It understood nothing. Blind is key part of Mourinho’s team. Mata is playing well. But it went on. Sky “understood Mourinho would approve the sale of both players this summer”.

Also in July, the Sun told its readers: “ose Mourinho tells ex-Chelsea outcast Juan Mata he can stay at Manchester United – but will only play one in three matches.” The paper said Mata would be sold to Spain but “La Liga sides do not have the money to match his £150,000- a-week wages”.

As the Sun works out how much Mata earns and listens to understanding sources, the player took a moment to explain what’s going on to a young Untied fan. His advice: “Don’t believe the media.”

"Don't Allways listen to the media " 👏🏼🏆 @juanmata8 #MUFC pic.twitter.com/YEFdyetELe

— OurUnitedStory (@OurUnitedStory) July 17, 2016

Posted: 27th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Media balls: Spurs concede 6 goals all season, Chelsea beat Manchester United and Liverpool are pipped by Arsenal

Filling in the dull bits between transfer windows when the Daily Express’ clickbait bots can link Arsenal to every striker over 10 years of age, the ‘World’s Greatest Newspaper’ has created a Premier League predictor. Using the technical marvel of guessology and powerful maths, the Express makes some bold statements.

Bournemouth, Sunderland and Stoke are all relegated – Stoke scoring 6 times all season.

In the world of the Express, The Cherries are worse than Hull City – who are better than Southampton – and West Ham. Everton, who Bournemouth just beat 1-10, finish runners up. Chelsea finish above Manchester United.

Spurs finish third, conceding – get this – 3 goals.

Manchester City win the title.

Oh, yeah – Arsenal finish fourth, naturally. Even robots can be right some of the time.

Posted: 26th, September 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment (1)

Billionaire planning to buy Arsenal tweets: I am alive

Africa’s richest man is Nigerian Aliko Dangote, says the Sun. He wants to use some of his £8.3billion fortune to buy Arsenal football club within four years.

Dangote, described by Newsweek as “a lifelong Arsenal fan”, tells Bloomberg: “Maybe three to four years. The issue is that we have more challenging headwinds. I need to get those out the way first and start having tailwinds. Then I’ll focus on this.”

As Arsenal fans lick a collective finger and hold it in the air, Dangote adds: “It’s not about buying Arsenal and just continuing with business as usual. It’s about buying Arsenal and turning it around. I’ve run a very successful business and I think I can also run a very successful team. Right now, with what we’re facing, over $20 billion of projects, I cannot do both.”

Turning it around? According to Forbes, Arsenal are doing ok:

Here are the top 10 with profits (using June, 2015 exchange rates):

1. Manchester United: $190 million

2. Real Madrid: $162 million

3. Manchester City: $131 million

4. Arsenal: $122 million

5. Liverpool: $115 million

Looking around for more news on Dangote, the top story right now is: “Africa’s richest man Aliko Dangote is not dead.”

Is he resting? No. He’s tweeting: “I am hale, hearty and alive. Please disregard malicious report saying otherwise. Thank you.”

Arsenal fans – what can go wrong?

Posted: 26th, September 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Reviews, Sports | Comment

Fat, thick and ugly: the Sun wil miss Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney

What next for Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney? The Sun has often seen the footballer as figure of fun, an Aunt Sally to knock and deride. Below are a few ways the Sun has dressed up and insulted the cut-put-and-keep Rooney doll:

Fat. Thick. Ugly. All charming stuff.

Dropped to the bench for Manchester United’s victory over Leicester City yesterday, the Sun says Rooney will have fight to win his place in the starting XI. Jose Mourinho pointed to Rooney’s lack of pace as reason for his relegation: “When our main striker is Zlatan, we need fast people around him. Against Leicester that was the best solution for us.”

Later that night, Rooney went to see boxer Anthony Crolla in world title defence against Jorge Linares. Crolla lost. But the Sun wasn’t watching the fight. It was watching Rooney watching the fight. He was, says the paper, “stern faced.” But the picture shows that he wasn’t.

Indeed, the Sun tells readers that “stern-faced” Rooney and his wife “were later joined by United team-mate Michael Carrick, with the two footballers sharing a laugh and a joke.”

You wonder what the Sun will do when Rooney becomes marooned on a golf course or an ITV studio panel and is no longer a player. The Sun will miss Wayne Rooney when he’s gone. The next England captain will have to up his game.

Posted: 25th, September 2016 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Media balls: Ozil flukes Arsenal’s third, Chelsea have no shots all game and Coquelin hurts his what?

Media Balls: a look at bad and monocular football reporting. Today we look at Arsenal’s 3-0 win over Chelsea in the Premier League.

Mesut Ozil scored Arsenal’s third goal. Was it lucky?

The Guardian says it was a fluke: “Ozil watched it carefully onto his left foot, mishit his sidefoot volley completely – and saw it bounce over Courtois and in off the far post.”

The official Arsenal website has an alternative version of events. That shot was deliberate: “The World Cup winner ran on to the ball and met it on the volley, smashing it into the ground, beyond Courtois and in off the far post.”

The BBC agrees, saying, “Mesut Ozil then left N’Golo Kante trailing to expose Chelsea on the counter-attack and steer home Arsenal’s third“.

Was it smashed in? No, says the Times: “Ozil obliged, his goal creeping in off Courtois’ left-hand upright.”

Were Chelsea any good?

The Sun says: “Chelsea improved in the second half but rarely threatened a comeback – and couldn’t even muster a shot on target.”

Maybe the Sun’s man in the know went home early. The BBC says, “Chelsea’s first shot on target came in the 82nd minute.”

That’s right. Chelsea had two shots on target.

Ouch! Where does it hurt, Francis?

The Indy: “Coquelin put in another 100 per cent effort to block N’Golo Kante’s effort shortly after the half hour mark, and an ankle injury sustained in the clash forced him off two minutes later.”

The Standard looks at Coquelin’s injury: “Arsene Wenger admits he is ‘worried’ by Arsenal midfielder’s knee injury.”

The Star says Coquelin and Kante “had a nasty collision of knees“.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 24th, September 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Manchester United balls: Jose Mourinho’s deconstructive criticism

Compare and contrast Jose Mourinho’s views on criticism. The Manchester United manager says critics have hurt Wayne Rooney. Mourinho says Rooney has been damaged by reactions to England’s 1-0 victory in Slovakia on September 4.

“I think there was a Wayne before the Slovakia, and a Wayne after the Slovakia,” says Mourinho. “I am not blaming Sam [Allardyce, the England manager], not at all. I am blaming the people that after the Slovakia game were, in my opinion, too strong with somebody that is a very important player in the history of English football, is the captain of England, has the record number of goals and almost has the record of matches.”

Criticism can hurt a player. So says Mourinho, the United manager who has this season publicly criticised Luke Shaw, Jesse Lingard and Henrikh Mkhitaryan. Of that he has a different view.

“It’s a learning process,” Mourinho says. “You make a mistake, especially the kind of individual mistake, you have to learn with what that means for the team, a team that works during the week on a gameplan. The critique is part of the evolution, the critique is part of the process, the critique helps people to learn how to cope with critics. It’s their life.”

And so today’s United match: Mourinho has dropped Rooney. And it’s your fault.

Posted: 24th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Manchester United drop ‘rubbish’ Rooney

How rubbish is Manchester and England captain Wayne Rooney? Rooney has heard the barbs. The 30-year-old player (where does he play?) is on the front foot. “I listen to my coaches and my teammates, the people around me, and I don’t really listen to what a lot of people out there are saying because a lot of it is rubbish.”

He’s bullish. But the Mirror hears those words and says he’s “broken” by his critics:

In the Times, Tony Cascarino says Wayne Rooney “may want to be dropped… It would be a relief for him to be taken out of the firing line.”

Balls. Rooney’s the captain. He;s been a battler his entire career. If Rooney’s not up for it then he should quit the game not breathe a sigh of relief at not having to face Leicester.

So what next? Rooney said of Jose Mourinho’s view of him: “I feel I can play in all positions but I think the manager has made it clear either I’ll play up front or in the No. 10 role and that’s where he sees me playing.”

But not now.

In today’s Daily Mirror we also read that Mourinho says he is “prepared to drop captain Wayne Rooney to the substitutes bench”.

Prepared to. And done. Today’s Manchester United v Leicester City match features Marcus Rashford and Jesse Lingard either side of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, with Juan Mata in the number 10 role.

Is Rooney on the slide? Yes. Is he better than Rashford and Lingard? Yes. He’ll be back.