Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Arsenal balls: Arda Turan buries in a shallow grave in Barcelona
The Daily Telegraph has been talking up its new content management system. It’s now quicker than ever for the once mighty paper to trot out balls. The headline seduces Arsenal fans:
Arda Turan absolutely buries Arsenal with this Barcelona comparison.
Buries! What he said was:
“I was feeling that I would sign for Barca. Sincerely I thought: ‘If I play very well I will end up signing for Barca. If I play well I will end up at Arsenal.”
The Telegraph mused:
“It’s not clear whether the denigration was inadvertent or intended, but if the latter then perhaps Gunners fans can see the swipe as something of a back-handed compliment.”
Stick it though the new CMS bot and your get talk of Arsenal being buried.
Posted: 31st, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Arsenal lure Chelsea star with clickbait
The Daily Telegraph has news: “Arsenal win race to sign Portuguese prodigy Domingos Quina.” Says Sam Wallace:
It represents a coup for the Arsenal academy who have traditionally not competed with the likes of Chelsea and Manchester City for the top teenage talent in Europe and beyond.
The Mail says that the deal has not yet been done:
Arsenal to complete signing of Chelsea starlet Domingos Quina in next 48 hours
The Indy then takes the Telegraph’s fact that isn’t and slips inverted commas around it:
Domingos Quina to Arsenal: ‘Gunners win race’ for teenager after he quits Chelsea
Just three days ago, the Metro told its readers:
Manchester United are clear to sign Chelsea wonderkid Domingos Quina
Two days ago the Sun said:
“Chelsea starlet Domingos Quina quits club and plans to join Premier League rival – Ace walks out on Blues with Man Utd, Spurs and Liverpool closing in”
Not deal is done until it’s done.
Posted: 28th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment
Manchester United balls: Van Gaal missing, Depay stars and Rooney stays
Manchester United will sack manager Louis Van Gaal at the end of this season. The Manchester Evening News treats its readers to “Five hints Louis van Gaal is set to LEAVE Manchester United this summer.”
Number 1 is: “Pre-season tour video no-show.”
Van Gaal featured heavily in the video United produced to promote their pre-season tour of the United States last summer. But when the club started promoting next summer’s tour to China last week, the 64-year-old wasn’t in it . Not once.
Who did feature?
No fewer than 14 first-team players did feature, including Wayne Rooney, David De Gea and even Jesse Lingard, Guillermo Varela and Marcus Rashford, but Van Gaal was nowhere to be seen.
So, if you’re in the early promo video you will still be at Manchester United next season. Got it. Memphis Depay, Luke Shaw, Morgan Schneiderlin, Wayne Rooney, Juan Mata, David De Gea, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Anthony Martial, Marcus Rashford, Guillermo Varela, Jesse Lingard, Chris Smalling, Ashley Young and Ander Herrera are all shown in the video.
And over in the Sun we learn:
Memphis Depay set to be axed in summer Manchester United clearout… United will listen to offers for their £25million flop after just a year at the club. Other stars that can go include Morgan Schneiderlin just a season after he arrived from Southampton.
Do we learn anything from MEN’s ‘Five Things’ other than the paper hasn’t got the foggiest?
Posted: 27th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Spurs lose Pochettino to Manchester United in cut-price deal
Transfer balls: Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino, 44, has a £10m buyout clause in his contract, says the Sun.
SunSport can reveal any clubs looking to poach the Argentine will have to stump up the massive eight-figure sum to have any chance.
Can this be the same SunSport which in February pitted Pochettino in a head-to-head with Jose Mourinho for the Manchester United job, telling its readers:
[Spurs] Chairman Daniel Levy is a notoriously tough and difficult negotiator who is willing to stand firm on keeping the club’s best talent… Levy will resist United’s interest but is expected to demand £20m compensation if Pochettino leaves for United. However, a tribunal is more likely to set the figure at around £6m-£8m.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 23rd, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester City lust for Messi who ‘fancies’ them
As Manchester City slide down the Premier League table, the Star says Lionel Messi fancies playing for them. The Barcelona star “fancies” teaming up with City’s incoming manager Pep Guardiola, we learn.
Could it happen? Back in January, the Sun told us that “money is no barrier to recruiting the players [Pep] Guardiola believes are crucial. The first is Lionel Messi…” By February, Messi had dropped off the Sun’s list as Guardiola targeted “Neymar and Sergio Busquets as he plans £150million Manchester City overhaul”.
Of course, with money being ‘no object’, Pep could buy Messi as well.
Yesterday the Sun updated its story, telling readers, “Guardiola does not believe a major overhaul is needed. He likes the look of the current squad.” Money is not an object, so Pep will stick with Martin Demichelis et al.
Messi must be gutted that the team he fancies no longer fancies him?
Today’s Indy has an update:
Manchester City believe they will be Lionel Messi’s first choice if he decides to leave Barcelona, with the presence of Pep Guardiola among the reasons why they would be comfortably ahead of any other club in Europe.
Believe. If. What happened to ‘fancies’?
City’s recent inquiries have yielded the same response as always, where Messi is concerned: a firm rejection of director of football Txiki Begiristain’s attempts to be reunited with the player, whose development he oversaw at the Spanish club.
Ian Herbert then tells us:
City do not believe the prospect of Messi moving is extinct and are convinced the appointment of Guardiola cements their position as the Premier League club of choice for him, or any other Barcelona player looking to move to the Premier League.
They would all eschew life in London, say, to live and work in Manchester?
The agents of players from many countries have been in touch with City since Guardiola’s appointment was confirmed, indicating their clients would like to be a part of the Catalan’s venture into English football. No such calls have been fielded from representatives of Barça players, however.
And as for Pep, the Guardian notes:
When Guardiola joined Bayern Munich in June 2013 following a year’s sabbatical after leaving Barcelona he was reluctant to return to the Catalan club for players. In three seasons at the Bundesliga champions he has taken only Thiago Alcântara from Barça, in his first summer.
Barcelona players keen on a move to Manchester City can form an orderly queue…
Posted: 23rd, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Arsenal buy Higuain twice, want Pogba and get Manchester United’s Toni Kroos
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger must spend loadsa money “or else”, warns the Sun.
Arsene Wenger is told to launch his biggest ever Arsenal spending spree – or miss out on new Arsenal contract. Gunners’ chiefs want big names like Toni Kroos, Gonzalo Higuain, Paul Pogba, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and John Stones
A new contract? Wenger’s existing contract expires in summer 2017. The Mirror told us he would then leave the club.
Now we’re told that Arenal are getting tough with Wenger by, er, demanding he spends a fortune on some great players. Well, so says the Sun, which is hot on Arsenal transfer news, first to report that Arsenal wanted Fabregas (they didn’t) and had bought Higuain (they didn’t):
Says the Sun for a second time:
Arsenal will not consider giving him a new deal until he starts competing in the transfer market. Gunners chiefs want him to splash out on names like Toni Kroos, Gonzalo Higuain, Paul Pogba, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and John Stones this summer.
Wonder what Arsenal will buy Higuain for this time? And do Manchester Untied want to sell Kroos (he never did join the Red Devils)?
Such are the facts.
Posted: 22nd, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Manchester United and Liverpool deliver the most ridiculous excuses for losing a football match
When Manchester United lost 2-0 to Fulham on 21st March 2009, manager Alex Ferguson had a simple explanation for his team’s shortcomings: The dressing rooms at Craven Cottage had been too small.
After the defeat, Ferguson rallied against the “ridiculous” facilities at Fulham before calling on the Premier League to introduce a minimum size standard for all teams in the top tier to avoid any such travesty befalling any of his contemporaries.
With all the money in the Premier League, some grounds should be better. There should be a minimum standard of size of dressing room, especially now you have more players on your bench and an increased staff.
Everton’s are so narrow it is unbelievable. Portsmouth’s away dressing room is not great and the one at Fulham is smaller than my office.
Craven Cottage is a very traditional stadium and one of my favourite away grounds, but when you have 18 players stripping down, plus coaches, physios and kit men, it is ridiculous really.
Hear hear. Down with this type of thing.
To that end, here are five other fatuous fillets of flim-flam that have been used to explain away footballing failure.
When Newcastle drew at Stevenage in the FA Cup in 1998, Reds’ manager Kenny Dalglish was in no doubt why his team had failed to topple their lower-league opponents. The balls were too bouncy.
After the match, Dalglish complained that the swirling winds and unruly balls suited Stevenage more than Newcastle, which led to opposing chants of “Your balls don’t bounce enough” being sung in his direction all through the replay.
When Ukraine lost 4-0 against Spain in their first game of the 2006 World Cup, defender Vladislav Vashchuk had his excuses at the ready. Noisy frogs had kept the team awake the night before. He lamented: ‘Because of the frogs’ croaking we hardly got a wink of sleep”.
Alex Ferguson was again at his inventive best when called upon to explain his side’s infamous defeat to Southampton at The Dell in April of 1996.
Already 3-0 down at half-time, Fergie decided that his players were struggling to pick each other out in United’s dreary new grey away kit. He ordered them to change into their blue and white third strip for the second half.
Sure enough, United came roaring back to lose 3-1 by the end of the game.
Liverpool’s Bill Shankly went one better when his side lost in the 1971 FA Cup Final to Arsenal. His side’s new shirts were, and we quote, “too heavy”. Poor lambs.
Gerry Francis’s largely featureless reign in charge at Tottenham doesn’t regularly feature in all-time top tens compiled by the club’s fans, but his excuse for one particular defeat does live in the memory. He blamed the loss on the grass. It was the “wrong type” you see.
Via Pies.
Novak Djokovic v Serena Williams fight in battle of the sexes tennis pentahlon
Would women tennis players earn the same as men if there were two tours separated by gender? Would you pay more to see the men or the women? Should men and women always earn the same for the same job? While the world’s female supermodels march for equal pay for male models, the Telegraph has news:
Novak Djokovic, tennis world number one, said he believed men should be awarded more prize money than women as their matches have more viewers. He made his comments after winning the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells on Sunday and defended the use of viewing statistics to determine prize money. Earlier the event’s chief executive, Raymond Moore, provoked controversy ahead of the final between Victoria Azarenka and Serena Williams by saying the Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) was a “lucky organisation” which “rides on the coattails” of the men.
Would women’s footballers earn pay closer to the men if their matches were played as part of the same tournament? Says Novak:
“Obviously it’s a very delicate situation. Women deserve respect and admiration for what they are doing. You know, equal prize money was the main subject of the tennis world in the last seven, eight years. I have been through that process as well so I understand how much power and energy WTA and all the advocates for equal prize money have invested in order to reach that.
“I applaud them for that, I honestly do. They fought for what they deserve and they got it. On the other hand I think that our men’s tennis world, ATP world, should fight for more because the stats are showing that we have much more spectators on the men’s tennis matches. I think that’s one of the reasons why maybe we should get awarded more. Women should fight for what they think they deserve and we should fight for what we think we deserve.
“As long as it’s like that and there is data and stats available upon who attracts more attention, spectators, who sells more tickets and stuff like that, in relation to that it has to be fairly distributed.”
What we need is for the game’s stars to go head-to-head. Serena Williams v Novak Djokovic in a tennis pentathlon, taking in such key elements of the game as: grunting (duration and volume); watch-size put on just before the trophy lifting (which has the biggest face and heft?); lemon barley water speed drinking; banana peeling; duration of post-final speech.
New balls, please.
Posted: 21st, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Liverpool prepare for Henderson exit as Spurs flash the cash
Are Liverpool making ready to sell Jordan Henderson? The Mail says Henderson’s sale is on the cards. The paper says Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp would want £20million for the former Sunderland player, with Spurs his most likely destination.
Given the two clubs’ respective Premier League positions, wouldn’t a move from Liverpool to Spurs be an upgrade for Henderson?
The Mail writes:
Significantly, Klopp refused to rule out Henderson’s departure should the player knock on his door following reported interest from Tottenham. ‘Everything is OK in this moment but nobody in the world, maybe only (Lionel) Messi, is unsellable,’ said Klopp. ‘There is always a situation. I come from a club where always the best players are picked by other teams and at the end, you have to accept a few things and always need to have a Plan B or C.’
Overlook the Mail’s twist and Klopp’s words could be interpreted as, “Henderson’s one of our best players. If he wants to go, how can we stop him?”
Does Henderson want to leave? We’re not told. But Klopp does add:
‘I am pretty sure it is only a rumour (Tottenham) but if not and if a player – let’s not say Hendo but any player – comes to me and says he doesn’t feel comfortable and wants to leave, style of play, more money, then you always have to start thinking. That’s all I can say on this.’
The Mail says this adds up to “Henderson facing an uncertain future this summer”, making it sound as if Klopp is calling the shots and Henderson is on tenterhooks. But the Sun notes:
Champions League football could lure Reds skipper to White Hart Lane
Liverpool are a mid-table side. Spurs are on the ascent. If Henderson’s future is uncertain it is only because he wants better.
Posted: 20th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer balls: Manchester United get Higuain and Mourinho in ‘secret’ deal
Transfer balls: did you know that Gonzalo Higuain has agreed to join Manchester United? It’s true. We read it in the Metro. Mark Brus declares:
Transfer news: Gonzalo Higuain agrees Manchester United move
Why would the Argentine striker agree to join Manchester United in March? In was only four weeks ago that his agent told Sky Italia, “there’s no chance of playing elsewhere.” The agent then stated the importance of Higuain playing in the Europe’s top competition: “The Champions League is an important competition, but first we [Napoli] have to finish as champions or second in the League.”
Manchester United are sixth in the Premier League.
Brus has more:
The in-form Argentine has held secret talks with Jose Mourinho, who is widely tipped to be replacing Louis van Gaal next season… Higuain wants the move and has already agreed terms on a £7.9million-a-year contract.
Higuain has agreed to join Manchester United because he’s spoken in secret with the out-of-work Mourinho. Did Brus stumble into a hotel meeting room as the two men met in secret?
Lest we think it utter balls, The Metro produces a second story of support the scoop:
Gonzalo Higuain agrees £7.8m-a-year deal to join Manchester United after agent meets with Jose Mourinho
And lest we still don’t see this for the utter balls it is, you might recall that Higuain plays for Arsenal:
Such are the facts.
Posted: 20th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Ibrahimovic, Arsenal and Thierry Henry’s TV source
Transfer balls of the week was focused on Zlatan Ibrahimovic. and his move to Arsenal.
On March 13, the BBC told us: “Zlatan Ibrahimovic: Paris St-Germain forward says he is likely to leave.”
What he said was: “For the moment, I will not be at PSG next season. I still have a month and a half left here. If they replace the Eiffel Tower with a statue of me, then I will stay.”
Thierry Henry, the Arsenal youth coach and Sky TV pundit then went on Sky TV to tell everyone: “”Who can we sign? Who’s available? I hear that Zlatan Ibrahimovic wants to come. It’s a Ibrahimovic problem of who’s going to want to come. Are we going to make the Champions League?”
Who Henry heard that from he doesn’t say. The big Swede is looking for his next deal – in case Paris fails to rework the Eiffel Tower in time for the start of next season – and Henry has a TV contract that demands he say things that start a conversation.
On March 17, the Mirror said: “Arsenal eye Zlatan Ibrahimovic transfer after being offered PSG’s superstar free-agent-to-be.”
The Express added: “Ibrahimovic wants Arsenal move but may end up with Rodgers and Xavi in Middle East.”
On March 18, the BBC hears from Arsenal’s manager: “Zlatan Ibrahimovic: Arsene Wenger ‘surprised’ to be linked with striker”
A journalist chucks the Swede’s name at Wenger, who replies: “We are not on Zlatan’s case… I’m just surprised by the name you’ve thrown at me.”
The Mirror hears that and manages to conjure: “Arsenal not thinking about signing Zlatan Ibrahimovic “at the moment”, insists Arsene Wenger”
No, not at the moment. But when Arsenal sign a 34-year-old on £250,000-a-week we’ll let you know.
Posted: 20th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Arsenal balls: soft and weak Gunners embarrass tabloids
“Arsenal are soft and weak.” Not our thoughts, rather those of the Daily Mirror, although it attributes the words to Barcelona’s cocksure defender Dani Alves. But is that what he said ahead of Barcelona’s home match with Arsenal? What he said was:
“When the draw was made, we knew it could have been tougher for us. That is no reflection on the quality of Arsenal. The quality of the way they play the game and the quality of some of their players is there for all to see.
“It is a reflection on their experience, character, and mental strengths. There are teams in Europe that don’t have the quality that Arsenal have, but you would rather avoid them and play Arsenal – because you know that those teams have experience and character.”
Did he calls Arsenal soft and weak? No. Did he say, as the Mirror says he did, “Arsenal lack character and mental strength”? No. He did not.
Alves merely pointed out that drawing a side who had lost at home to Olympiakos failed to fill the holders with dread.
The Mirror also fails to note what else Alves said:
Arsenal do have quality, and when they are at their best they can achieve special things, so from us there will be no complacency.
Oh, and he also said this as he held court in Spain:
“…when I said the press was ‘rubbish’, for example, I did so because they’re damaging football … And I then came out and explained it [better], because I know there are good people in the profession and it’s not fair to generalise.”
Indeed.
Posted: 16th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Arsenal balls: Wenger leaves, Wenger stays, Wenger stays and leaves
“Wenger to Walk?” asks the Daily Mail’s Sami Mokbel on the paper’s backpage. Will the Arsenal manager quit the club? As ever with tabloid headlines framed as question, the answer is ‘no’.
Indeed, over the course of Mokbel’s story there is not a shred of evidence to argue the case for ‘yes’.
…the club are developing a succession plan for when he does call time on his distinguished Gunners career. That is a clear indication they believe their manager’s time at the club is drawing to a close and they are considering potential replacements. Pep Guardiola was viewed as the ideal man, but the Spaniard has committed himself to Manchester City.
Offers made by Arenal to Pep: nil.
And as for that talk of succession, well, the Daily Star told us in January:
Deal close: Arsene Wenger ready to sign new two-year Arsenal contract
And right at the end of Mokbel’s balls, readers are told:
…Wenger is planning for a future at Arsenal beyond next season. The manager has played a key role in improvements at the club’s London Colney and Hale End training bases, as well as the restructuring of the scouting system.
Such are the facts?
Posted: 15th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Chelsea balls: Daily Mail body shames fat Eden Hazard’s moobs
Wonderful work in the Daily Mail, which takes a break from appraising women’s bodies with a sneering look at Chelsea footballer Eden Hazard. Jeff Powell spotted Hazard swapping shirts at half-time with PSG’s Angel Di Maria when the clubs met in the Champions’ League last week. Powell wrote:
The tell-tale elements of that picture are the roll of blubber around the belly and the first signs of man boobs on the young Belgian who we elected as this country’s Footballer of the Year last season. At only just 25, Hazard looks as if he would be more at home propping up saloon bars along the King’s Road than kicking a ball around the pitch at Stamford Bridge.
Get a load of that bloater:
Jeff Powell is rarely pictured with his shirt off.
‘Fat’ Frank Lampard is away.
Posted: 15th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment
Manchester United escape fine for Liverpool Hillsborough chant
Manchester United will not be punished for its fans revolting chants about the Hillsborough and Heysel disasters when the club faced Liverpool in the Europa League. A Uefa spokesperson says United have no case to answer because the chanting was not mentioned in the match officials’ reports.
Are some football chants just too offensive? But what’s the point of an insult if it doesn’t cause offence?
The problem begins when you rule on what is and what is not permitted to be said. Better if it is left to United fans to tell the idiots in their number shouting “murderers” at Liverpool fans to shut up.
This United chant heard on the night is much better anyhow**:
Going on up to the spirit in the sky
It’s where I’m gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I’m gonna go on the p*** with Georgie Best
** We in no way condone alcoholism and the terrible toll it takes on the…blah… blah….blah
Posted: 14th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal murder Watford in FA Cup war
Did you jeer as Arsenal were “dumped” from the FA Cup? The Mirror says Arsenal fans did in a lead sports story headlined “What A Farce”.
It’s all enjoyable hyperbolic stuff from John Cross, who seems to forget that when papers scream about the magic of the FA Cup, they don’t mean the supernatural wonder of the biggest teams winning it every year. Arsenal lost to fellow Premier League club Watford thanks to a “wonder goal” and their athletic, spirited performance – the Gunners were unlucky, missing a host of chances to score, including an open goal – and the world is at an end.
These are a few highlights from Mr Cross’s story – and is he a product of nominative determinism?
“Wenger’s men were booed off after Watford ended the Gunners’ hopes of winning the Cup for a third year running”
Not winning the FA Cup every year is a travesty. There were some boos, but not many.
“The season is effectively over for Arsenal. And you wonder whether it is also the end of the road for Wenger.”
So says Cross, who told us exactly when Wenger will reach the end of the road, providing us with a date:
“…Wenger stormed out of a radio interview when asked if the holders’ cup exit puts his future under threat”
In the Times he “walked out”.
“The most worrying aspect for the Gunners is they look dead on their feet”
That’s the same Gunners who hit the post in stoppage time and then missed an open goal. Had it gone in – and it seemed simpler to score – what price headlines praising Arenal’s never-say-die attitude?
Indeed, deep into his story, Cross says the Watford defence made a “series of heroic blocks, interception and headers”. At the end it was”like The Alamo”.
In The Alamo, the victorious Mexicans kill all of the Texan defenders. But, as we said, it’s wonderfully hyperbolic stuff from the Mirror’s man in the know.
Posted: 14th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Chelsea balls: Diego Costa nuzzles Bale in rare episode of on-field foreplay
For a few hours yesterday the big talking point was England’s unexpectedly exiting win over Wales in the Six Nations rugby. But then the story broke that Chelsea’s Diego Costa had bitten someone on the BBC’s FA Cup coverage. After England had made a meal of beating a late-arriving Welsh team, the Chelsea striker was making a meal of Everton’s Gareth Bale. Well, so goes the allegation, which Costa denies.
The papers lap up the meaty juices. To the Mail this is “Costa’s Shame”, which is tabloidese for “Thank god we didn’t have to lead with the rugby”. So excited is the Mail that the Costa ‘bite’ features on two issues:
It’s all delicious stuff.
We’re awaiting a few words from David Cameron and Jeremy Corbyn to break from talking over the future of the EU, the economy, war and the planet to tell us how much sports matters and that Costa is a role model.
As it is, if you can’t tell a bite form non-bite, it can’t have been much of bite in the first place.
PS: Was it a bite? No. Gareth Bale says it wasn’t. Which makes us wonder why Diego Costa nuzzled Gareth Barry, and when being over-friendly becomes sexual harassment?
Posted: 13th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: Van Gaal’s a product of the Glazers greed
Oliver Kay writes in the Times about Manchester united’s steady decline. Growing up in a family of avid Leeds United fans, I know how this one goes. That “Mighty Leeds 1974 – Now for Europe” sticker slapped on the rear window of the family car aged badly.
Kay:
United still have box-office appeal, which is why tomorrow’s meeting with West Ham is their 51st consecutive live-televised tie in the FA Cup. They always draw the biggest TV audiences, but increasingly, as on Thursday night, the casual viewer will be left wondering what on earth has happened to Manchester United. No, it was not quite thrill-a-minute in the Ferguson era, but there was always the expectation of excellence in some facet of the game, whether it was midfield defiance, swashbuckling wing play or even, in later years, tactical discipline.
TV companies love United, just as they once adored Liverpool. But surely the armchair fans’ appetite for United is rooted in Alex Ferguson’s exciting teams. Whisper this: when United scored on that magic night in Barcelona, I was with a gaggle of Arsenal and Leeds fans (the family) tuned in. Cameras turned to the crowing German fans. We all felt it. Moments later we were on our feet. You don’t really want Leicester City to win the league – we just don’t mind it; but that night it was glory glory Man United.
Kay adds:
More than one agent has suggested, having spoken to United about potential signings, that the club’s plan is to stick with Van Gaal in the unlikely event that they secure a top-four finish in the Barclays Premier League. That would be astonishing. Surely, after two seasons there is enough evidence to make a sensible, balanced appraisal without it coming down to “fourth place good, fifth place bad”.
José Mourinho lurks in the background, desperate to succeed the man who was his mentor at Barcelona in the late 1990s. The media briefings from his camp reflected a confidence in January, when the board’s angst over Van Gaal was at its height, but in recent weeks there has been a change in tone. Unease has crept in, as if Mourinho and Jorge Mendes, his agent, are concerned that they might be being strung along while United contemplate other candidates, such as Ryan Giggs, the assistant manager, and Mauricio Pochettino, of Tottenham Hotspur, or even the possibility of sticking with Van Gaal.
Is the manager the biggest issue at United, the club owned by Americans who care nothing for the club’s history other than using the ‘brand’ to flog anything? Corporations don’t go in for thrilling. They go for branding. So the suits get Van Gaal. They get Mourinho. But neither they nor the money men really get United.
Posted: 12th, March 2016 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal: The injury crisis that isn’t
When Arsenal defeated Hull in the FA Cup last Tuesday night, the Press focused on the Gunners players forced off early. The headlines talked of disaster:
“Arsenal run into new injury crisis after win over Hull” – The Week
“Arsenal defender Gabriel ruled out for three weeks with hamstring injury” – Independent
The Indy zoomed in, telling readers on March 6: “Gabriel: Arsenal defender ruled out for three weeks with hamstring injury.”
The Metro thundered: “The Gunners lost Per Mertesacker and Gabriel to injury during their FA Cup clash with Hull on Tuesday night, leaving them with no fit centre-backs given that Laurent Koscielny was already out.”
Four days on and the BBC reports:
Arsenal pair Per Mertesacker and Gabriel are fit despite being injured during Tuesday’s FA Cup replay at Hull… Laurent Koscielny [who is back training] remains a doubt with a calf injury.
Arsenal also have young English centre back called Calum Chambers.
but who needs facts when you can make it up as you go along to fit an agenda…
Posted: 11th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: Liverpool’s penalty was only ‘controversial’ in the Sun
Liverpool defeat Manchester Untied 2-0 in the Europa League and the tabloids get to work. Liverpool’s first goal was scored from the penalty spot. The Sun leads with this “controversial penalty”, the “second for Liverpool in four days”.
The paper reminds readers that on Saturday Christian Benteke had gone to ground easily at Crystal Palace, his tumblr helping to secure the penalty he then scored to win the game. No other paper harks back to that match.
The Mirror, which unlike the Sun is read on Merseyside, says United’s Memphis Depay “brushed” over Nathaniel Clyde just inside the box.
In the Mail, Depay “placed a restraining hand on his [Clyde’s] shoulder and tangled legs. Either would have been sufficient to justify the penalty award…”
The Express says “Depay sent Clyde crashing to the turf”.
Manchester United manager Louis Vn Gaal agrees with the Sun: “It was a cheap penalty…the referee cannot see that because…he held him outside the box and then he is falling down.”
The Times, the Sun’s stablemate, says “any offence bean outside the area”.
As for the local press to the bother clubs:
Liverpool Echo: “Sturridge stepped up to convert a penalty in the 20th minute after Nathaniel Clyne had dashed into the box to collect a Roberto Firmino pass and been tripped by Memphis Depay. It was close but looked just inside.”
Paul Scholes in the Manchester Evening News: ““Anywhere else on the park this isn’t given as a free-kick.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 11th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer balls: Gotze heads to Arsenal, Man United and Liverpool, stays at Bayern
The Metro sats Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United are in line to sign Bayern Munich’s Mario Gotze. But what else has the paper of record (surely, the paper run by SEO bots, ed) told us about the German?
Metro, May 13, 2015: “Arsenal are interested in a stunning £30million move for Mario Gotze”
Metro, July 7, 2015: “Chelsea join Arsenal in transfer hunt to sign £49.6m Mario Gotze’
Metro, August 17 2015: “Mario Gotze wants transfer to Arsenal”
Metro, August 17: “Arsenal ready to sign £49.6m Mario Gotze”
Metro, October 12, 2015: “Mario Gotze plays down talk of exit after Arsenal and Man Utd transfer links”
Today the same player apparently worth £31m.
Is Gotze leaving Bayern, where his contract expires in the summer of 2017? The player says he’s happy at the club, telling Bild leaving is not up to him – “it all depends on the plans of the club and the new coach [Carlo Ancelotti].”
Not exactly chomping at the bit, is he.
Posted: 10th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Manchester United balls: Van Gaal stays next season as Mourinho joins his coaching team
Manchester United fans hoping to see the back of Louis Van Gaal are in for a shock. The Mirror says his job at Old Trafford is “safe – even is he fails to crack top 4”.
Can this be the same Daily Mirror which reported that Jose Mourinho had agreed to take over at United next year?
Maybe Mourinho will be Van Gaal’s assistant?
Posted: 9th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Chelsea: former club doctor Carneiro wants Mourinho to make a public apology
Chelsea’s former doctor Eva Carneiro wants Chelsea’s former manger Jose Mourinho to give her a public apology. She wants the public apology as part of any settlement in her employment case, reports the Guardian.
Carneiro is suing Chelsea for constructive dismissal and has a separate but connected personal legal action against Mourinho, the team’s former manager, for alleged victimisation and discrimination. The case appears destined for a full employment tribunal pencilled in for 6 June after a private mediation hearing in Croydon… did not yield a compromise over a financial package for compensation and damages.
What looked like a minor disagreement escalated. Jose’s pride had been wounded.
The doctor had been criticised by Mourinho and demoted from first-team duties after she and the physio Jon Fearn, waved on by the referee, entered the field of play to treat Eden Hazard in stoppage time at the end of a 2-2 draw with Swansea City on the season’s opening day last August. The Portuguese, manager, who was sacked by the struggling Premier League champions four months later, branded the pair “impulsive and naive”, with their actions having, in effect, left his side, already depleted, down to nine men for the final seconds.
Carneiro’s barrister, Mary O’Rourke QC, told ITV News:
“We’re not expecting a resolution today. The two sides are so far apart financially. And we want Mr Mourinho to make a public apology.”
She seeks control over Mourinho, the master media manipulator.
Rosy Smith notes in the Times:
Anyone who has even a passing acquaintance with the Portuguese notes just how proud he is. Most managers believe they are always right. They have to if they are to survive. Mourinho exists in a profession where pride is a necessity. And even by those standards, he is quite enormously proud….
Even if he knows, deep down, that he went too far with Carneiro, that he over-reacted, that he let the situation slip from his control, he is not likely to admit it publicly. That is not what Mourinho does…Instead, his approach seems to have been a relentless session of double-or-quits: not content with criticising her, he removed her from the front-line; not content with that, he banned her from the hotel. If Carneiro made a mistake, it was a minor one: acknowledging the support she had received by posting a message on Facebook. It was an entirely understandable thing to do – she is not, remember, used to being in the public eye in the way she has been – but it gave Mourinho a pretext to continue his draconian approach. She had broken the circle of trust. She could not be allowed back in.
So, about that public apology…
Arsenal balls: bored Wenger blows his top in a measured way
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger was answering questions about his tenure at the club. It was put to Wenger at a press conference that ex-players like Dennis Bergkamp, or Patrick Vieira could replace him.
The papers review:
Daily Mirror: “Arsene Wenger finally snapped yesterday over questions about his future. Wenger blew his top.
Daily Express: “Wenger was angry man yesterday but, even during his outburst, he chose his words carefully. Responding to a journalists question about whether the fans’ behaviour would have any bearing on his signing a new contract, the Arsenal manager took his time before saying, “I have no problem to cope with everything but I find that a bit boring in the end.”
The Sun: “The Arsenal boss launched a passionate defence of his reign saying, “I work and work and work. If it’s not good enough someone will tell me one day. I dod not worry about what you say about me or what fans say about me. What I find just boring is always sitting her after 19 years to face, ‘Do you think tour are good enough?'”
The Star: “Strop Gun – Wenger cracks… the “fuming Arsenal boss let rip“.
The Guardian: “I am humble enough to question myself every day,” says Frenchman.
Those boring press conferences are anything but boring.
Posted: 8th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment
Call of Duty turns Jamie Vardy into a ticking timebomb
Big news in the Daily Mail that Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy is “gunning down rivals” by playing Call of Duty on his PlayStation.
Those rivals had best watch out. The Daily Mail told us Call of Duty turns you into a murderer – maybe:
He shoots! He shoot! He keeps on shooting until the game is over and his wife call him down for dinner…
Posted: 7th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids, Technology | Comment
