Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Arsenal get “Mullered” (The Mirror) and work “Nein to 5” (Sun) – papers reacting to the Gunners’ 5-1 thrashing against Bayern Munich.
But what about those points, the scores out of 10 dished out to the teams?
The Mirror’s John Cross is right: Joel Campbell was dire, an Arsenal player nicking a living in the shirt. But was Giroud that bad?
The Mail is more generous. Campbell gets a score of 5.5. This means he was better than Cazorla (he wasn’t) and on a part with Monreal, the overworked, exposed left back. Only Giroud and Cech come out with any credit, both collecting scores that would have got them into the Bayern side.
In his ‘JOIN THE DEBATE’ column for the Daily Mail, Martin Samuel focuses on Chelsea striker Diego Costa.
Diego Costa will not be charged by the Football Association for his off-the-ball kick on Martin Skrtel.
Fact. But this is debate, so…
Why? Replays plainly showed Costa pushing his studs into Skrtel as the pair fell to the ground in Saturday’s game at Stamford Bridge.
Costa has previous for violent play, too, and served a three-match ban earlier in the season. Yet the FA line is that referee Mark Clattenburg saw the incident and dealt with it at the time. Really? If he did he was the only one who didn’t believe it deserved action.
In Monday’s Mail, Matt Barlow prised Skrtel for “not making a meal of it”.
The Mail has already published the views of one referee. It employs Graham Poll to tell readers:
When Diego Costa fouled Martin Skrtel it did appear that he made a secondary action with his right leg and kicked the Liverpool man in a violent manner. The incident occurred close to Clattenburg who took no action. Perhaps he missed it completely or didn’t think it violent. Perhaps he thought it fair ‘retaliation’ after Skrtel had caught Costa with a leading forearm in the first half. For me at full speed I doubt whether any referee would have dismissed the Chelsea man; replays might well have led to a red card but thankfully we still trust our referees to get the majority of decisions right.
Might. But… Not that conclusive, then.
Samuel adds:
More likely, Clattenburg and the FA knew after the game that Lucas Leiva of Liverpool should have received a second yellow card, and that to punish Costa — who could have been banned for four matches considering the previous offence — would merely add to Chelsea’s conspiracy fantasies. So it wasn’t justice: merely a balancing of injustices, which isn’t the same at all.
Chelsea benefit from FA conspiracy. Read all about it!
Transfer balls: The Daily Mail says “Chelsea reject shock £35m bid by Monaco for under-pressure manager Jose Mourinho.”
Go on…
Monaco made a startling approach for Jose Mourinho on Tuesday but saw a staggering £35million bid rejected, according to a shareholder. Alessandro Proto claims he met Roman Abramovich in London in a bid to prise away Chelsea’s beleaguered manager.
Who is Proto?
A statement was released by Proto’s company, Proto Enterprises, to a Spanish news agency stating the meeting had taken place in London earlier in the day.
The Proto Enterprises website tells us:
Proto Enterprises has a track record of various operations, both in real estate and in finance, participation and intervention which today identify and differentiate us in the investment field on an international level.
And:
In a moment of deep global crisis, two aspects which make a difference in the business world are enthusiasm and audacity. Enthusiasm for everything that surrounds us. For the family, for work, for others and for ourselves.
Yeah, it’s a venture capital firm.
Proto Enterprises confirmed its authenticity to Sportsmail on Tuesday night and alleged Abramovich could be interested in accepting should they double the offer to £71m.
Source confirms its own story? How?
The Indy picks up the story:
Abramovich’s refusal suggests that he remains supportive of the beleaguered Mourinho, whose defending champions currently sit 15th in the Premier League table, following six defeats in their opening eleven league matches.
But the Mail says he’d take more money if it were offered. And there is one small matter in this story that is very odd: why would Mourinho want to manage a side with pots or money but hardly any fans. The man loves a big stage. And Monaco ain’t it.
Meanwhile Monaco’s curent boss, Bernard Veronico, should check the print on his contract.
Manchester United centre-back Chris Smalling has a new nickname: Michael. Following Manchester United’s 1-0 win over CSKA Moscow, Louis Van Gaal hailed the performance of “Michael Smalling”.
Who he?
“David De Gea has saved us, then after that, Michael Smalling has saved us,” Van Gaal said.
The United boss made the exact same gaffe back in July while proudly naming Mike Smalling as his new vice-captain as Chris Smalling sat right beside him…
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho continues to set the sports pages agenda.
The Sun (backpage): “BLUES BROTHERS”.
Chelsea captain John Terry says Chelsea are United and squarely behind Mourinho. This is unlovely, driven and pragmatic Terry – Mourinho’s vision of football made bone and meat. No shock he supports his manager.
Pages 56-57: “No surrender but players worried Jose has become the…LONELY ONE.”
Andrew Dillon says Jose is “used to fighting the world – but he is not used to the world winning”. We hear from John Terry, who says: “We don’t want to be fighting the world. You want to be loved, as an individual and as a club…”
As we roll our eyes at the charmless JT talking of love, Mourinho recalls words he said in 2004 after his Porto side had won the Champions League. “I had said that one day in my career bad results would come… One day the bad results will come and I’ll face the bad results with all the same honesty and dignity that I’m facing now as European champions.”
Who looks at Mourinho and sees his honesty and dignity? Correct answer: John Terry. Wrong answer: referees, The FA, Dr Eva Carneiro, Barcelona assistant Tito Vilanova, Andres Frisk…
Page 57: “Zola: I’ve a dream”
Gianfranco Zola wants to manage Chelsea. He says he “needs to improve as a manager if I want to get there.” No kidding.
The Times (back page): Terry furious at criticism of Mourinho”
John Terry has words for the player who apparently said he’d rather Chelsea lost than win for Mourinho. “The player wouldn’t be let out of the dressing room,” says Terry.
Cesc Fabregas says he’s not the poison in the well.
Terry blames the messenger and says the BBC reporting the story fell “well below their standards”. When John Terry is the barometer of standards, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself. Or laugh.
The Express (bak page): “Rebels at Chelsea? They wouldn’t get out alive”
Not quite what John Terry said. He never did threaten to murder the enemy in the camp.
Mirror (back page): “BACK OFF”
John Terry has “pleaded with critics not to drive Jose Mourinho and Eden Hazard out of the Premier League”.
Daily Mail (back page): “Jose: I’ll be at Chelsea until 2019:
Looks like Jose’s not leaving.
And he wants to remain in London even if Chelsea give him the boot.
As Matt Hughes told Times readers:
José Mourinho will be permitted to work for another English club if he is sacked by Chelsea under the terms of his contract at Stamford Bridge. It is understood that while the four-year deal he signed last August contains a clause stipulating that Mourinho is entitled to one year’s salary of £9.5 million in the event of his dismissal, there is nothing restricting his future employment.
Sack him and he stays in London? But who would he manage? Arsenal fans can’t abide him. Spurs wanted Mourinho in 2007 after he was sacked by Chelsea. But the severance package prevented him moving to White Hart Lane. Would Spurs move for him again? Would West Ham United?
Manchester United’s Louis Van Gaal must be relieved must of the media’s gaze is trained on Chelsea’s Jose Mourinho. Having spent a fortune on flesh and bone, Manchester United under LVG are dull.
The Sun does report today that former United player Andrie Kanchelskis says “Van Gaal is not for Manchester United. Their history and tradition is to play wide and sharp at flanks – but is nothing like this now.”
What United fans would give for the flying Russian in his pomp. Kanchelskis is now pundit, opining that LVG is “too pragmatic” and makes his team play like “robots”.
The Mirror calls three goalless draws in a row a “crisis”. It’s not, of course. If it is, what state are bottom-of-the-table Aston Villa in, an uber-crisis?
The Sun goes on to say that Van Gaal is sticking by his captain Wayne Rooney. But the Express says Van Gaal will “consider resting Rooney if his barren run continues”. Resting is, of course, a euphemism for ‘dropping’.
Matt Lawton notes in the Mail that Alex Ferguson “endured patches of form when United struggled to find the net.” He recalls a poor run in 1992 that “prompted the signing of Eric Cantona”. Who now can boost United? The Mail suggests Leicester City’s Riyad Mahrez. He’s contracted to Leicester until 2019, and why he’d want to leave the bubbling Foxes for dullsville Old Trafford is a moot point.
News in the Sun that “top footballers” are troubled by their bad teeth. We learn that 40% of footballers have some tooth decay and 5% have gum disease. And 7% say tooth issues affect their game.
The Daily Mail makes a link between teeth and playing power:
The research, by University College London, surveyed 187 “aces” at eight clubs. A dentist titled Professor Ian Needleman arrives to say that sugary drinks can harm teeth. And being in pain can impact on your performance. Who knew?
Background The few studies that have assessed oral health in professional/elite football suggest poor oral health with minimal data on impact on performance. The aim of this research was to determine oral health in a representative sample of professional footballers in the UK and investigate possible determinants of oral health and self-reported impact on well-being, training and performance.
Methods Clinical oral health examination of senior squad players using standard methods and outcomes carried out at club training facilities. Questionnaire data were also collected. 8 teams were included, 5 Premier League, 2 Championship and 1 League One.
The clubs surveyed were: Hull FC, Manchester United FC, Southampton FC, Swansea City AFC, West Ham FC, Brighton & Hove Albion, Cardiff FC and Sheffield United FC.
One other aim of the research might be to create work for dentists at football clubs. After all, Professor Ian Needleman, also says:
“…while these findings are worrying we are pleased that clubs are already embracing the findings and building on their existing interventions by placing oral health care at the forefront of their medical agenda. We hope that other teams follow their lead and introduce robust oral health screening and promotion as a routine element of their programs.”
But what also interests us is the picture the Sun uses to show the state of teeth in the Premier League:
Luis Suarez has strong teeth (see his biting history). He also played for none of the clubs surveyed. If we’re going to look at the teeth of players who used to play in England, then this is better:
And Manchester United’s Nobby Styles, for it is he, won the World Cup.
When Jose Mourinho said Chelsea receive less vocal supports at home matches than their Premier League rival, the University of Nebraska-Omaha’s Brenna Boyd did some research. She found that the noise made by fans has no effect on the number of goals scored.
One less thing for Jose to blame for Chelsea’s dip in fortunes, then.
The media narrative is that every Chelsea match is Jose Mourinho’s D-DAY.
Today the Daily Express says Chelsea’s match at Stoke City is the manager’s ‘D-DAY’:
The London Evening Standard said Jose’s D-Day was the match against Liverpool.
The Times of India agreed.
The Bleacher Report says Chelsea v Arsenal was Mourinho’s D-DAY:
D-Day is a pretty regular event in Jose’s life. For anyone wondering if D-Day is just a term to describe a man losing his job, this is what D-Day was:
During World War II (1939-1945), the Battle of Normandy, which lasted from June 1944 to August 1944, resulted in the Allied liberation of Western Europe from Nazi Germany’s control. Codenamed Operation Overlord, the battle began on June 6, 1944, also known as D-Day, when some 156,000 American, British and Canadian forces landed on five beaches along a 50-mile stretch of the heavily fortified coast of France’s Normandy region.
The Allied forces had one D-Day. Jose Mourinho’s had three of them this season.
Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho leads every tabloids’ sports section. The Sun says Mourinho is a “BASKET CASE”. The Mirror agrees, leading with the same headline.
Sticking with the Sun, Jose”s been hit with a “double whammy” of a stadium band and lawsuit. He’s bene hit with a fine for being mouthy (£40,000 in the Mail; £50,000 in the Mirror).
These “basket case” headlines are a pun on a pervious time when Jose was banned from entering the stadium and he sneaked in by hiding in a laundry basket. The lawsuit refers to Dr Eva Carneiro, the now former Chelsea team doctor, whose appeal for constructive dismissal could see Mourinho called before an employment tribunal.
Over pages 52-53, the Sun’s Steven Howard says “fed up stars can put Jose in his place”. Howard reasons that with Mourinho banned from Stoke City’s ground for Chelsea’s weekend visit the players will show what they can do without him. In Howard’s world there are no TV cameras (the game is live on Sky), phones not any other way the Chelsea manager can watch the match and communicate with his staff – those coaches he works with and who he picked to work with him.
Howard wonders what will happen should Chelsea win well at Stoke “without” Mourinho. In Howard’s view of football the only thing that matters is what happen in the changing room at half-time and the pre-match warm up. Those many training ground sessions and talks count for nought.
The Express says the Stoke match is Jose’s D-Day. This is the same Express that told us the Chelsea v Liverpool game was Mourinho’s D-day and that he’d be sacked should his side lose. They lost. He was not sacked. It was not D-day.
The Mirror says the Stoke game could save “Jose’s career”. Wow! Not just his job at Chelsea but his entire career.
Dave Kidd says it’s all over – “Mourinho will be brought down by players lacking conviction in his methods”.
So. Mourinho is on his way, then. The Mail says he’ll be replaced by a “dream ticket” of Carlo Ancelotti and Claude Makelele (sacked from managing at Bastia after just 6 months).
Arsenal fans don’t much like Mike Dean, the Premier League referee. Claims, however nuts, that the man in yellow doesn’t like the Gunners will not be undone buy the video of him reacting to a Spurs goal against Aston Villa.
What is he doing? And why is he doing it in public?
Transfer Balls: Manchester United and Manchester City want to sign 18-year-old Anderlecht midfielder Youri Tielemans says the Daily Star. In the paper’s “exclusive” we learn that United and City will have to pay £30m, for the “star”.
Paul Hetherington writes:
City’s strong Belgium contingent is headed by skipper Vincent Kompany and Kevin De Bruyne, an instant hit since his record £56m move from Wolfsburg in the summer.
Kompany and De Bruyne are the only Belgians in City’s first team squad.
For good measure this scoop also name-checks a load of other clubs:
Tielemans is also being linked with possible moves to Chelsea, Barcelona and Borussia Dortmund.
But Spanish organ AS told us Tielemans had signed for Atletico Madrid:
The Express, sister paper to the Star, said the young blade was worth £14m and was heading to Arsenal or Chelsea:
The Star’s “exclusive” was the Mail’s story a week ago:
And that price is falling on the Express:
And in March the Star said he was on his way to Chelsea, snubbing Liverpool:
In May Youri Tielemans – a player linked by the tabloids bullshit.com to the six biggest clubs in English football – signed a new five-year contract with Anderlecht.
Jose Mourinho has been sacked. Either that or else the Daily Express is about as reliable as Diego Costa’s hamstring.
On November 1, Adam Skinner told us that if Chelsea lost to Liverpool, Mourinho would be sacked.
Chelsea lost 1-3. Mourinho has not been sacked.
Over in the Mirror, Simon Mullock had news:
The Blues were beaten and the issue is now when owner Roman Abramovich will make the change. Sources in Portugal believe Mourinho may not be in charge for Wednesday’s Champions League clash with Dynamo Kiev.
Not exactly steeped in facts is it? Number of sources linked to and mentioned by name: none.
If football is all about taking your chances, then Leicester City epitomise the mantra. The Premier League club have scored 23 goals from an average of 14.8 shots per match in the Premier League.
The Foxes are third place in the Premier League, one above huge-spending Manchester United, with 15 goals scored at a rate of just 10 shots a match.
Top of the table Manchester City have 26 goals at 18.7 shots per match.
Arsenal are the league’s most shot happy team, firing on goal 19.2 times a match with 21 hitting the target. The Gunners work to a different golden rule: if you don’t shoot, you can’t score.
More Jose Mourinho career news in the Express, which leads with an incredible insight into the mind of Blue’s owner Roman Abramovich.
In “ROMAN’S AGONY”, we read that the Russian billionaire is “agonising over the prospect of sacking Jose Mourinho”. Oddly, Tony Banks follows that by saying Abramovich “desperately does not want to axe the manager:
From a mind in turmoil to a mind resolved in the time it took to read a Daily Express paragraph. Wow!
Inside the Express and over two page, Banks’ reports on Chelsea’s home defeat to Liverpool is headlined “The Special One is at a standstill”. Even in defeat, Jose remains the star turn.
The Sun leads with “CAP IN HAND”, a pun on the apparent news that former England manager Fabio Capello “heads the list of big-hitters keen on the Chelsea job”. He, Guus Hiddink and Carlo Ancelotti are “ready to listen to offers”. Chelsea fans must wonder why their club is picking manager from a vintage merry go round. Over two pages, readers learn that “IT’S TIRED, OLD JOSE” – but he’s still younger than the Three Degrees of Desperation lining up to replace him.
The Mirror leads with news of the Chelsea first team player who said he’d “Rather Lose Than Win for Mourinho”. Who is he? Why did he say it? The Stamford Bridge poisoner is also the Mail’s lead story. He is the paper “mystery player”.
Over two pages inside the Mirror, we learn that Mourinho will remain at Stamford Bridge because “there’s no one else who can step in and sort out the mess”.
The Mirror’s John Cross needs to buy the Sun, which already has three names and hasn’t even got to Avram Grant.
But before Jose goes, the Mail says Eden Hazard “wants to leave”. In all, the Mail gives over five pages to Jose’s job. Martin Samuel points out that Chelsea players are not performing to their potential. The idea of Hazard heading off the Real Madrid on the back of “one brilliant shift” is fanciful. But it is “easier to change one coach than 11 players.”
Jose will stay. He’s the best man for the job. After all, what would the tabloids do without him?
Which current Chelsea player told a BBC journalist after the Blues were soundly beaten by an average Liveprool side at Stamford Bridge yesterday he would “rather lose” than win a game for his irritated manager?
This is all coming via freelance journo Dan Levene, who covers Chelsea affairs on a regular basis…
Which is shocking – if true, of course – and not to mention absolutely pathetic.
For the record, the quote seems to have been mentioned in passing on the radio and so far hasn’t really been picked up by any other major news outlets barring the Daily Mail and a smattering of other websites. Take that as you wish.
Before we see the game’s video highlights below, a word for fans who watch the game via the BBC’s blogs, the digital age’s Ceefax service.
The BBC Sports Day Blog: “Anything Bafetimbi Gomis can do, Olivier Giroud can do worse. The Arsenal striker is found in space in the box by Alexis Sanchez but curls his effort wide of goal. It was a lazy, lazy effort.”
The BBC Match blog: “CLOSE! That’s more like from Arsenal. Olivier Giroud, who has been in excellent goalscoring form, fires narrowly over from just outside the area after Alexis Sanchez’s clever pass.”
José Mourinho is on the backpages. And the Chelsea manager is mocking the tabloid Press:
Mourinho says:
“What I’d like to understand is why some people can be so excited with somebody losing his job. It’s sad. The Brendan Rodgers situation, he was almost winning the Premier League. He was the manager of the season. He won the award from Barclays, the Managers’ Association and everything. And suddenly, you were working hard until he was sacked. It’s strange. I don’t belong to this world. I’m too emotional. I hate people losing jobs. Not just in football but in everything.”
He’s right. All managers do their best. Getting the sack is brutal.
You might spare a thought for Anders Frisk. This from 2005:
The 42-year-old refereed Barcelona’s controversial 2-1 first-leg Champions League win over Chelsea in February. Blues boss Jose Mourinho said his Barcelona counterpart Frank Rijkaard talked with Frisk in the referee’s changing room at halftime. The London club was also unhappy when Frisk sent off striker Didier Drogba in the second half.
…
Uefa has branded Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho “the enemy of football” as they asked referee Anders Frisk to reconsider his decision to retire. Mourinho criticised his display against Barcelona in the Champions League. Frisk quit after receiving death threats, and Uefa referees’ committee chairman Volker Roth accused Mourinho. He said: “We can’t accept that one of our best referees has been forced to quit because of this. People like Mourinho are the enemy of football.”
Rijkaard said of Mourinho: “What he said was a pack of lies, very serious lies, and it is not the first time.”
Chelsea – 15th place in the Barclays Premier League; 11 points from ten matches – could easily finish in the top-four finish and secure Champions League football for next season.
Mourinho gets it. He tells media:
“Chelsea is a big club — the club I chose to come to, a club [where] I live in a very specific way, with respect. Liverpool is a big club. Manchester United is a super-big club. Last season Liverpool won nothing and didn’t qualify for the Champions League and they are still a big club. Two seasons ago United didn’t qualify for the Champions League — not even Europa League — and won nothing and they are still a monster club. That is football.”
And the sack?
“I’m not worried about [job security]. I don’t spend one second of my day thinking about that. I worry about results, about winning against Liverpool, about qualifying for the next round of the Champions League, about recovering positions in the table and going back to where Chelsea has to be.”
Dutch football coach Raymond Verheijen is all over the news. He’s been talking about Arsenal and the club’s injuries.
“Wenger was labelled a “dinosaur” by Raymond Verheijen, a fitness coach who used to work with the Wales squad and blamed Arsenal for the annual bouts of injuries” – Times
A dinosaur?
Speaking on the Hawksbee and Jacobs show, the outspoken Dutchman said: “If you look at the facts, what you see is that Arsenal are the number one by far in terms of injuries in the last decade in the Premier League…
“In the ’90s, Arsene Wenger came from France to England and he introduced revolutionary methods – methods that people were not familiar with yet in the UK. At that stage he was a revolutionary coach.
“He has been applying those methods for ten, twenty years and when you apply the same methods for twenty years, at some stage people will catch you up and they will develop further and then they will be ahead of you. From a revolutionary coach, you have all of a sudden become an old-school coach because you stuck to methods from twenty years ago…
“Arsene Wenger is responsible for fatigue and injuries and the medical staff can only cure the problem.” – TalkSport
Wenger repsonds:
“This guy looks like he knows absolutely everything. I am amazed that he knows more than all our physios and all our doctors”
Verheijen has spoken about other top sides before. His views are amplified in the mainstream media. But should they and we hang on his every word?
Manchester City 2010:
“During pre-season and the first half of last season Mark Hughes had all his players available,” Verheijen said. “City played each game with the same team. The team had the best Prozone [computer data] statistics of the Premier League during the first part of the season. The players had the highest number of sprints and the highest total sprinting distance of all the Premier League teams.
“After the arrival of Mancini things changed dramatically. He probably did not even look at the Prozone statistics and our best-injury record in the Premier League. He decided players had to do double sessions many times a week. Those sessions often lasted for two hours. Not surprisingly the players picked up eight soft-tissue injuries within the first two weeks of Mancini.” – Guardian
City replied:
“Mr Verheijen appears to have become a regular critic of Roberto Mancini’s training methods, perhaps not entirely coincidentally since his consultancy services at Manchester City were terminated by the club several months ago. We wish him well in his future practice,” a club spokesmen said.
Mancini’s City won a first league title for 44 years in the 2011-12 season.
Wales 2011:
Wales assistant manager Raymond Verheijen hopes the leadership of the national side will be decided on Monday by the Football Association of Wales. Wales were left without a manager after Gary Speed’s death last month . “Tomorrow FAW meet about future of Wales,” the Dutchman wrote on Twitter on Sunday night. Hopefully the board will respect Gary’s wish so [fellow assistant] Osian Roberts and I can lead the team to Brazil.” – BBC
Chris Coleman is made Wales manager.
Former Wales assistant manager Raymond Verheijen has accused the Football Association of Wales of destroying the “legacy” left by Gary Speed. Dutchman Verheijen served under Speed during his 11 months as Wales manager. “He [Speed] has left a legacy, although the dinosaurs of the Welsh FA, at least on the pitch, have destroyed [it],” claimed Verheijen.
“The legacy of Gary will be in the hearts of his players, of his staff members,” he said. “His [Speed’s] players one day will become managers and they will start managing and working based on the inspiration that Gary gave. “So, I think that within 10 years we will see Gary’s legacy at different clubs, at different levels and different countries. But for the short time I think with the Welsh national team, unfortunately, his legacy has been destroyed.”
In 2015, Coleman’s Wales end a 57-year wait to qualify for a major tournament by making it to the European Championships 2016.
What odds Arsenal win the Premier League this season?
Paul Scholes, the former Manchester United player, has been working a pundit. He tell the BBC what he think of Louis Van Gaal’s Man United team:
“There’s a lack of creativity and risk. It’s a team now you wouldn’t want to play against because they’re tightly organised. But it seems he [Van Gaal] doesn’t want players to beat men and it’s probably not a team I’d have enjoyed playing in. The style is not something that Sir Alex Ferguson would have adhered to….
“The hardest thing to coach is scoring goals and creativity. I was at the derby on Sunday and Rooney’s movement was brilliant but when he’s playing in that team there’s no one prepared to pass to him. I think after 20 minutes you’d be tearing your hair out. I played with some brilliant centre forwards and I don’t think they could play in this team — the likes of Ruud van Nistelrooy, Andy Cole, Dwight Yorke, Teddy Sheringham. You don’t get crosses into the box or midfielders looking for runs.”
Louis Van Gaal responds in his intriguing way of being one of the few Dutchman who can’t speak English better than the English. Van Gaal heralded on United match by telling the TV pundits: “I shall be very disappointed when we don’t win.” Van Gaal is like listening to a man speaking through Google Translate. he says:
“I think you have a fantastic expression here: sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me. I think Manchester United is always entertaining and I read also in the papers and I see it is boring but I don’t think there are more spectators in other stadiums than this ground… You ask me if I take risks? I take always risks! I am not agreed with his opinion but I don’t want to defend myself because I cannot defend, because he is a legend and has a lot of resonance I hear. So I think when you are a legend you have to speak with the manager, or with his friend Ryan Giggs, or has to speak with Ed Woodward. But not with because he shall be paid by the media or something like that, and then you have to say something.
“I shall do everything for this club because I think with these fans, I have said many times, these fans are unbelievable. We are improving at lot but when you think it can be done within one year I have said it is process and it takes three years. That’s why I signed here three years. But when Mr Scholes thinks I can better go, then I go. But he is not the man responsible for that. That is the Glazers and Mr Woodward.”
Arsenal are battling with their annual long list of injuries. The Mail has a question:
Wenger has ‘trust’ in medical staff amid injury crisis…but how will his Arsenal team line up at Swansea without these men?’
Crisis. Eight players are injured. But Arsenal are big club with a deep squad of players. And the Mirror has an answer:
Kieran Gibbs as a winger. What madness. What utter balls. Has the Mirror’s writer seen one-footed left-footer Gibbs play? Does Hector Bellerin, Arsenal’s right-back, stand a chance?
The Telegraph comes up with an even nuttier solution:
Did Wenger consider that? No. He tells everyone who can play on the right side of midfield against Swansea:
Campbell and Alex Iwobi. Santi can play there as well but he has become very important centrally. The problem sometimes is that you can destroy two departments if you move one player out. We control the ball better with Santi in the middle.
Mention of Gibbs: none. Arsenal fans can relax a little.
More Chelsea balls in the Daily Mail, which leads with a series of photos of Jose Mourinho talking with Eden Hazard. The media narrative is that Mourinho is on the “brink” of the sack. Having stuck the Chelsea manager on the precipice, the same media then talks about how he can be saved.
The Sun’s back page tells of “Mourinho D’Day”.
He’s on the brink. That’s Thierry Henry’s cue to say that Jose can be saved.
Having seen the Sun’s masterclass in tabloid repotting – create the drama then offer the imperilled star an escape via an ‘exclusive’ opinion piece – the Mail connives.
On this tabloid we see the same photo of Mourinho in conversation with Hazard, Chelsea’s star player. Now, thought, we are offered context:
Mourinho is portrayed as clueless, asking his players to help him. Hazard, coveted by Barcelona, is seen symbolically walking away, leaving Mourinho his his agonies.
What went before or comes after we have no idea. The Mail has selected the pictures to fit the narrative.
Transfer balls: the Daily ExpresssaysArsenal and Manchester United are after Bayer Leverkusen’s 21-year-old Turkish attacking midfielder Hakan Calhanoglu.
Hakan’s also wanted by Atletico Madrid and Barcelona. And he’ll cost £29m.
Is he any good? Well the Express says he’s has been “hailed as the ‘next Mesut Ozil'”. By whom we’re not told. And why would Arsenal need two Ozils?
The Independent saysUnited are “readying a €40m bid” for the player. Its sources is German newspaper Bild.
But over there we find not a single mention of either Arsenal nor Manchester United. Bayer Leverkusenboss Michael Schade tells Bild: “We want to keep Hakan, but with us there is a pain threshold.”
The paper adds: “From a release of EUR 40 million Bayer should be ready to talk. At Bayer we know about the interest of the English.”
The English Press really is full of utter balls. After all, according to the Express, Hakim signed for Manchester United in the summer:
