Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
A man has been barred from riding the Paris Metro by a gaggle of Cheslea fans. The episode is caught on video. The Chelsea fans are white. The man trying to board the train is black. Some Chelsea fans sing about being racist and enjoying it.
And – kaboom! – a small, nasty incident in a foreign city becomes a huge deal. The elite wade in.
The Sun leads with the news:
On Page 5, readers are ordered to “FIND PIGS OF PARIS”. The Sun says “an international hunt” is under way for the dicks who sang “We’re racist and that’s the way we like it” and giving full throat to the refrain “Where were you in World War 2?”
What does a racist look like? The Chelsea fans abusing a black man on the Paris Metro and celebrating their racism fit the bill. They are white, shaven-headed, dressed in man-made fibres and above above all football fans, members of what the elite portray as a race riot waiting to happen.
We love ’em. Proper bigots. Proper racists.
We can have a debate about how football should have stamped out this sort of thing. How Chelsea must punish these pillocks. How football provides role models that bind the nation’s morals. There will be anti-racist T-shirts and armbands and annoucements in the ground. Football is not a hotbed of racism. But the elite believe it is. They are sentitive to racism. They look out for it. So. Listen to the announcement. These Chelsea throwbacks are a rare sight because people have fought real State-sponsored racism. It’s not the racism of now the commentators and politicos will admonish so much as the return of the racism of the past, when white unreconstructed racists spread fear and intolerance.
But Amedy Coulibaly is not a racist. Sure, he murdered four Jews at a kosher deli, but everyone from Barack Obama to the BBC says Coulibaly was not motivated to kill by race.
It’s a pity he wasn’t wearing a replica Chelsea shirt when he murdered four Jews at the shops. If he had been, the British Press and White House could have really gone for him.
And now we see Mahmudul Choudhury. He’s been on view at Bromley Magistrates Court, where he pleaded guilty to posting a pro-Hitler image on Facebook. Hitler was seen telling Choudhary’s Facebook friends:
“Yes man, you were right. I could have killed all the Jews, but I left some of them to let you know why I was killing them. Share this picture to tell the truth a whole world”.
Chelsea fans have been a caught on camera doing their bit for race relations in Paris. In France for Chelsea’s Champions’ League match with PSG, a few fans thought it an idea to stop a black man from baording the train.
And it appears that the man’s skin tones are part of the Chelsea fans’ attitude, as they chant “We’re racist, we’re racist and that’s the way we like it.”
Stamford Bridge, which nowadays captures the atmosphere of a local library at closing time, was once a vociferous place. The far-right made it a favoured stomping ground. The Bridge could be an intimidating venue for black players.
Are these Chelsea fans of old now all living in France?
Did Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney dive to win a penalty in the FA Cup win over Preston North End? Before we get the experts’ views, let’s hark back to the day when Liverpool’s Luis Suarez was “going to ground easily”.
The Sun called Suarez “Armstrong MKII, marking the Uruguayan in the same bracket at Lance Armstong, the biggest cheat in sport. Ever. “You cheat!” thundered the Sun. We pointed out that Suarez played to the whistle, much like the Team GB cycling team with won Olymic Gold by dubious means.
How the Sun and the Mirror cheered the plucky Brits and booed the swathy foreingners.
Arsenal’s Educardo: guilty of being foreign
It looks very much as if – as if! – top English players could do no wrong. There were more examples of double standards, such as when Suarez was vilifed for biting an opponent, whereas England’s Jermain Defoe was “cheeky”. Suarez got counselling. Defoe got off.
“Rooney may have gone down a bit too easily under a challenge from Preston keeper Thorsten Stuckmann, which probably explains why he was only shown a yellow card instead of a red.”
Good old, Rooney. If it wasn’t for his falling over so neatly, Stuckmann would have been sent off.
TheBBC, which broadcast the match, wasn’t bovvered:
“But United made sure of their progress with two minutes to go when Stuckmann sent Rooney tumbling, although there were some suggestions he might have dived, and he stepped up to send his penalty high into his net.”
In December 2014 theDaily Mail was appalled by diving:
Diving is once again a hot topic in the Premier League after three Chelsea players, Cesc Fabregas, Diego Costa and Willian, were all booked for simulation this month.
“They even added a third that came wrapped up in controversy involving the England captain and simulation. Wayne Rooney was running into the box when Preston’s keeper, Thorsten Stuckmann, came haring out, sliding in, forcing Rooney to hurdle the challenge which he managed but then elected to fall to earth rather than stay on his feet.”
Says Rooney:
English players never do dive.
“If I ever saw one of my team-mates diving, I’d definitely have a word” – Steven Gerrard.
Is talking to yourself a sign of madness?
“I can speak about the England lads and I think it is something we don’t do. We’re too honest” – John Terry.
The bouquets are out for Paul Lambert, who was finally sacked from his post as Aston Villa manager.
Alan Shearer tells Sun readers Lambert struggled because:
“They [Aston Villa] have had one of the lowest net spends in the Premier League.”
Did they? In February 2014, this was the net spend of the Premier League tables based on the preceding five seasons:
Spurs, Everton and Newcastle must be hankering for Lambert’s services. Not.
Villa have long been one of the better-funed sides. From 2003 to today, that player investment table looks like this:
Of course Lambert became Villa manager only in 2012. So. We could look only at the net spend over his tenure. In 2012/13, Aston Villa were the sixth highest net spenders in the Premier League.
In season 2013/14, Aston Villa were not bottom of the net spend table:
On September 2, after the summer of 2014 transfers, Aston Villa posted a net spend of £6m.
Arsenal, net spend: £46m; Aston Villa, net spend £6m; Burnley, net spend £8m; Chelsea, net spend £10m; Crystal Palace, net spent £11m; Everton, net spend £33m; Hull City, net spend £25m
Leicester City, net spend £10m; Liverpool, net spend £36m; Manchester City, net spend £32m; Manchester United, net spend £122m; Newcastle United, net spend £25m; Queens Park Rangers, net spend £21m; Southampton, profit £31m; Stoke City, net spend £0.5m; Sunderland, net spend £10m; Swansea City, net spend £1.5m; Tottenham Hotspur, profit £6m; West Bromwich Albion, net spend £13m; and West Ham United, net spend £31m.Aston Villa was one of 9 clubs with a net spend of £10m or less.
Lambert was not unsupported by the Villa owners. He just wasn’t very good at managing what he had.
The Sun has been talking with Chelsea’s former Playstation character* and footballer David Luiz. In readiness for his current club, PSG, Champions’ League match with Chelsea, Luiz has been talking about himself.
(*Sky TV pundit Gary Neville said Luiz moved as if controlled by a sugar-rushing adolescent with his thumb pressed on ‘run’. Luiz was not in full control of his brain, legs or hair. It was not meant as praise.)
PSG, perhaps taking Luiz’s Playstation reputation as a sign the Brazilian could deliver the fabled 10-15-year-old replica kit demographic, paid a ridiculous £50m for his services. Luiz tells theSun the move was of his design:
“I decided to leave after the end of the season. Chelsea offered me a new contract and I said to them ‘I’m not feeling the same thing like I was feeling years ago’… I decided my cycle was finished and I wanted to live a different moment now in my life. I was not playing as much as the previous season but I played all the big games well — in different positions.”
Sometimes in one match.
“People tried to make stories about me and Mourinho but we never had any history. He was the boss and decided who plays and who doesn’t. But many times when he doesn’t put David Luiz in people said there was a problem. But it was natural. I was very happy in Chelsea.”
David Luiz talks of David Luiz in the third person, still unsure if the footballer is a player or an object, an avatar controlled by another’s hand.
Anyhow, the story goes that Luiz (sorry, David Luiz; his name must alway be written and said in full (see: Andros Townsend)) wanted to leave. And Chelsea wanted him to stay. Or it would fact be were it not for the nutzoid £5om on the table, the chance for Chelsea to buy better players and what Luiz says of Jose Mouinho’s reaction to his transfer request:
“I was not feeling good there and I said I wanted to leave. He didn’t try too much because I was in Brazil for the World Cup and we just spoke on the telephone. And he said ‘It’s OK, you can go’.”
Transfer Balls: a look at football nonsense reported as fact in the mainstream media: Today Burnley’s Danny Ings is heading to Liverpool and Real Sociedad.
The Sun leads with news that Burnley’s Danny Ings is heading out to meet David Moyes, the manager of Real Sociedad. With just six months to go on his Burnley contract, Ings will be a frre agent in the summer. The Sun says the 22-year-old fancies Spain – and is ready to sign a £60,000-a-week pre-contract.
Danny Wings in
Odd. Because the BBC’s Ian Dennis said Ings has already signed that contract:
Shouty (surely passionate? -ed) former England and Blackburn Rovers star Tim Sherwood would be manager of QPR, said the Daily Mirror on February 4:
QPR want Tim Sherwood as manager so he can repeat his Tottenham trick of inspiring underachievers
Sherwood has six-months managerial experience under his gilet. And Spurs are not exactly under-funded minnows. So. What is it about Sherwood that sees him linked with top jobs?
Whatever the lack of experience, Sherwood believes that he has no need to hone his talents in the lower leagues. He’s a Premier League boss. No doubt. All top players are. Rich and loved they don’t need to work in the lower leagues.
Sol Campbell is the latest ex-star to consider a Premier League manager’s job:
And the media is lazy. Sherwood is their pet name.
Yesterday the paper led with a question: did Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic bite Everton’s James McCarthy. The paper provided some pictorial evidence to help readers best answer:
No. There was no bite. Only the Mail suggested there had been. The Mail also said Ivanovic had “throttled” McCarthy and possibly headbutted him.
But he didn’t do either of those things, either.
And the Mail, rather than deferring to the FA’s panel of experts (three former referees), calls it a “CHOKE” and states that Ivanocic choked McCarthy, which he didn’t. There was no “throttling”, either.
The Mail’s Neil Ashton uses this as evidence that Chelsea manager “Jose Mourinho has got rivals and game’s rulers on the run…” The Mail declares:” TIME TO STOP JOSE MADNESS.”
There can be little doubt that Mourinho is an irritant. Graceless is victory and snide in defeat, Mourinho cultivates an us-against-the-world philosophy. The professional and low-profile Ivanovic shares nothing of his talented manager’s bitchiness. Conflating the two – seeking punishment for the amiable Serb because the chippy Portuguese has gets up their nose – goes against the rules of fair play.
The Mail omits to mention that Everton provided no evidence of that “bite”.
Meanwhile, over in the Times, there is other news: “Chelsea face more FA woe after scuffle with Everton.”
So. About that Mail news on how Chelsea get away with it. They don’t.
Transfer Balls: a look at utter drivel passed off as football fact in the mainstream media. Today the Daily Express has news on Manchester City and England footballer James Milner:
EXCLUSIVE: Man City ace James Milner considering Arsenal and Liverpool offers
Is he? Richard Tanner says Milner is:
Liverpool, it is understood, are tempting him with the prospect of becoming Steve Gerrard’s replacement in their engine room.
Understood by whom? Reader aren’t told. There are no quotes. No sources. It is merely “understood”.
Arsenal, too, see his tenacity, energy and bristling aggression as the perfect foil for some of their more sublime talents.
Again, this claim is supported by nothing.
This huge “EXCLUSIVE” comes on the back of other exclusives linking Milner with Arsenal and Liverpool, which have been running for over a year:
Football Balls: a look at football journalism in the mainstream Press.
The Daily Mail’s Joe Bernstein looks at the Premier League match between Stoke City and Manchester City. The Citizens won 4-1. Stoke’s goal was scored by Peter Crouch. In his “MATCH ZONE” column, Bernstein writes:
“Crouch Gem Causes Family Rift”
The story is that Peter Crouch’s mother is a “stuanch Manchester City supportter who is very keen to see them overhaul Chelsea in the title race”.
This is given as the reason she’d have enjoyed Crouch’s goal that tied the scores at 1-1.
The headline-making “FAMILY RIFT” is because “Crouch’s father Bruce is a lifelong fan” of Chelsea – “so would have been firmly behind his son.” It’s more of a bond.
So. That rift is because both Peter Crouch’s parents love it when he scores. So, er, no rift at all, then.
The Daily Mail sinks its sloppy jaws into Chelsea and Everton with a story on Branislav Ivanovic ‘biting’ James McCarthy…
What dock?
Last night Chelsea beat Everton 1-0 in the Premier League. So. Chelsea stay top of the table. And Everton are becalmed in its middle. And that’s it. Unless you’re the Daily Mail and keen to made a controversy from nothing much at all. The Mail’s sports section leads with a question: ”
“DID HE BITE HIM?”
‘He’ is Branislav Ivanovic, the Chelsea player once nibbled by Luis Suarez. It was the day the Mail says “rocked the football world”. It really was that entertaining. How we loved it.
‘Him’ is Everton’s James McCarthy.
And the answer is , no’. There was no bite. We know that because even the Mail’s photo shows no bite. It was more of a kiss.
How football journalism works: the Daily Mail reports on Liverpool’s 3-2 victory over Spurs in the Premier League.
First up Ian Ladyman looks at Spurs’ second goal. He writes on Page 86 that the Liverpool complaints of offside were unjustified. He says that had Liverpool lost it would have been their own fault:
One page on and Graham Poll notes that Harry Kane was offside and it did matter:
Such are the facts in the modern media wherein everything is a debate…
Here is proof that the entertainment on offer at the Theatre of Dreams is very, very good.
It might look like an iffy, over-priced production built on nothing but on the cash of the lovelorn seduced by dreams of former romances, but stick with it folks and all will be marvellous.
To Van Gaal’s side sits the Manachester United Press Officer, the woman who corals the opinion formers.
It all reminds us of Mel Brooks’ The Producers, the movie in which Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom make money by producing a sure-fire flop.
Just six months into his time as Manchester United manager, and Louis van Gaal is “under fire”. Reacting to claims that his United are an unattractive long ball team he produced evidence to the contrary. How well did it go down in the Press? In a word: very. They’ve lapped it up. All newspapers lead with LVG’s stats class.
The Times leads it sports coverage with:
Van Gaal looked like a cross between Neville Chamberlain and David Brent as he waved pieces of paper to disprove [Sam] Allardyce’s claims at United’s press conference yesterday. They were lies, damned lies — and Van Gaal had the statistics.
It was a “rant”.
The Sun calls LVG A ‘LAUGHING STOCK”.
The Daily Star calls it “LVG’S LONG BAWL”. It was a “bizarre rant”.
The Mirror leads with news of “LVG’s LONG SHOT”. He “angrily produced a dossier” of “four pages of statistics”.
The Daily Mail is far more circumspect, saying Van Gaal created “an intersting 20 minutes” with his Prozone stats.
And in the Express there are concerns for LVG’s mental wellbeing:
“Louis Van Gaal sparked concerns he is cracking udner the strain of managing Manchester United…”
Van Gaal has been an outstanding coaches for years. But the Times‘ Oliver Kay wonders:
What nags, though, is the feeling that, once you look beyond the Van Gaal aura, there has been remarkably little to admire in his first six months at Old Trafford. As a journalist, you find yourself wanting Van Gaal to live up to a certain reputation — a reputation for tactical brilliance, exciting football and even, a strange admission this, antagonistic behaviour in press conferences. So far, we have seen more of the third than the first two and even that, in truth, has been fairly low-grade.
Well, that’s one thing Van Gaal can do: make an entertaining press conference. And it may yet get better.
Hugo Borst says we can expect more:
“There’s this one time that always cracks me up. He wasn’t happy with us, thought we weren’t training properly. He set up this exercise where I had to be non-responsive as keeper . . . but the crosses were so dodgy I had no choice but to save them, and that was a definite no-go. He had already bollocked me for it once but the second time he comes over and starts screaming at me something fierce and his dentures go flying. Best of it was, he caught them in a single movement, stuffed them back in his mouth and carried right on screaming. And there’s me standing opposite him trying to keep a straight face”.
The football might be dull, but Van Gaal the man is happy to entertain…
And every great entertainer needs a sidekick. Presenting Van Gaal and the Manchester United Press officer, in the style of Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom:
Transfer Balls: The last transfer window has only just closed but already the Sun is linking Arsenal to a new man: Lyon’s Nabil Fakir.
The Sun says Fakir is attracting £25m of Arsenal’s cash. He’s 21. He likes tos core goals. And, as the Sun says, he might not be allowed to leave Lyon.
And having introduced a player and told readers that Lyon are “desperate” to keep hold of him (and PSG are keen), the Sun adds that “The Gunners also want Leverkusen keeper Bernd Leno”.
To accompany the crack of your knees, the thump of your heart and the panting, you joggers can get ringing. Or a-ringin’. Because Runbell is a the pedestrian early-warning system that alerts walkers, dawdlers and people enjoying the peace and quiet of a park or beach to your presence.
How does it work? Well:
Pedestrians commonly complain about being overtaken by faster runners – instead of yelling out “COMING THROUGH!” or surprising them warn them with the pleasant sound of a brass bell.
Why can’t they just carry a brass bell?
Like lepers.
Social lepe coming through
Now they can!
The Runbell ring looks like something a cock might wear because it is something a cock might wear, although not in the sauna.
Runbell adds:
A sleek, stylish wearable bell for runners, solving the problem of how to courteously warn pedestrians on shared pathways
Nothing says courtesy better than ringing a bell at someone minding their own business. It’s the equivalent of honking a horn as you weave in and out of a traffic jam. It is the guaranteed friend maker.
In other exciting product news, Anorak introduces Walking By, a handy knuckle-worn Runbell responder!
Harry Redknapp’s career as QPR manager was cut short by his bad knees. It’s a stroke of fortune that Rangers were not gunning for the Premier League title or one of the European places. Redknapp’s selfless act could have placed a season of promise in jeopardy. As it is, Redknapp left QPR in a mess.
Did anyone see it coming? Did Robbie Savage? He who wrote in the Daily Mirror on February 6:
“Harry’s resignation is a masterpiece of bad timing.. I’m surprised he wasn’t sacked earlier“
He wasn’t sacked at all, Robbie. The knees, remember.
In October 2014, Savage told the BBC:
“The whole situation reminds me of two seasons ago when Mark Hughes was sacked in November and Redknapp came in. I think that was the wrong decision because I believe Hughes would have kept QPR up but if results don’t pick up in the next few weeks – and QPR have to play Chelsea and Manchester City at the start of November – then QPR owner Tony Fernandes has another decision to make.
It is a very difficult call. Redknapp looks a bit tired to me but he has stacks of experience and you could not say for sure that he cannot keep QPR up. Things are not working at the moment but I would be surprised if Fernandes is so hasty again.”
Robbie Savage is surprised whichever way the coin falls…
Transfer Balls: a look at football rumour and speculation being presented as fact in the mainstresm media. Today the Sun says “MANCHESTER UNITED can have Barcelona star Dani Alves for FREE — if they offer him a three-year deal.”
The Sun says Alves, 31, wants a new three-year £100,000-a-week Barcalona contract. If that fails to materialise, he’ll go to Manchester City or Manchester United for no transfer fee if they can match his wage demands.
In other news, Yahoo! reported on May 14 that “Dani Alves has already signed a pre-contract agreement with Paris Saint-Germain”.
The Daily Express says Alves has agreed to join Manchester United:
