Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
50 Shades of Reds: Watch the Manchester United sex tape
Having endorsed everything from airlines to wine and tyres, it was inevitable that Manchester United would move into pornography. The Sun leads with news that Manchester United stars “film sex video in toilets”.
The story runs:
MANCHESTER United stars are being investigated by club bosses over claims they filmed a team-mate performing a sex act sex in a nightclub toilet.
Whose claims?
Video of the ace with a girl in her late 20s, at an exclusive venue in Manchester, is believed to have been passed around among United players.
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Posted: 8th, February 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Spurs Balls: ‘Hurrikane’ Harry Kane thrashes Arsenal in headline wars
HARRY Kane is the darling of White Hart Lane, or White Heart Kane, as it is dubbed. Having scored both goals in Spurs’ 2-1 win over Arsenal, Harry Kane is the talk of the sports press. And the good think about Harry is that his name makes for decent puns.
The Sunday Times gets Shakespearean:
The Star on Sunday goes with White Hart Kane:
The Independent has a cumbersome “Kane Thrashes Arsenal”:
Sunday Express: Kane and Able. That’s a Jeffrey Archer pun on the Bible’s Caine and Abel, a story of murder. Still. A pun’s a pun, right?
The Sunday Telegraph is on the same wavelength:
The Mail on Sunday win with “Hurrikane”.
Arsenal host the “Jimmy Savile Fan Club’, says Google Maps: Spurs Fans Follow The Pattern
Type ‘Jimmy Savile Fan Club’ into Google Maps and you find its location: Arsenal’s Emirates stadium.
This sort of thing has previous. A search for ‘Shit Hole’ sends Google map users to Tottenham Hotspurs ground:
But surely that’s where the Golden State Warriors play:
Posted: 7th, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Spurs | Comment (1)
Transfer Balls: Chelsea get Paul Pogba in a six-wallet race
TRANSFER Balls: The Transfer Window is over but the Daily Express continues to talk upo Paul Pogba. Today’s news is that the Juventus and France player is heading to Chelsea. And the fee? It’s £80m.
That’s one big Chelsea “move”. But why would they bid now? Well, this is Transfer Balls and the news is that there is no news. Chelsea have made no move for Pogba. So. Wher does thei £80 move come from? The Express ploughs on:
Chelsea could have to fork out an astonishing £80million to land Juventus star Paul Pogba.
Could?
The Blues are preparing a summer swoop for the France midfielder but had hoped to pay around £40m for his services. But Pogba’s agent Mino Raiola has revealed there is plenty of interest in the 21-year-old, who he expects to cost more than £80m Cristiano Ronaldo.
What the agent hopes leads to a second Daily Express story:
Yeah. Only six.
THE agent of Paul Pogba claims that there are six teams interested in signing the Chelsea, Manchester United and Manchester City target, and that his client’s transfer will shatter Cristiano Ronaldo’s £80million move to Real Madrid in 2013.
Posted: 7th, February 2015 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment (1)
Arsenal Balls: Alexis Sanchez leaves Arsenal for a month of Sundays
Arsenal Balls: the Daily Express has been talking about Alexis Sanchez, the dynamic Chilean player who runs as if he’s been powered by the National Grid. He’s not fit to play Spurs in the Premier League today. But let’s see what the Express has been reporting:
February 5: “Arsenal ace Alexis Sanchez ruled out of North London derby showdown with Tottenham”
February 6 and Sanchez is off his sick bed and heading to the exit:
Alexis Sanchez has become increasingly disillusioned at Arsenal after being snubbed by the fans. Sanchez was overlooked for the PFA fans player of the month award, with Santi Cazorla getting his hands on the prize. The Chilean, who will miss the north London derby feels under-appreciated and could seek a way out of the Emirates.
February 6: “Arsenal news: Alexis Sanchez could play in north London derby”
Arsenal forward will be given one last chance to prove his fitness ahead of Saturday’s clash with Tottenham Hotspur at White Hart Lane
So. He’s back. And then…
February 6:
Sanchez is “touch and go” to play againt Spurs.
February 7: “Sanchez OUT for Arsenal, Welbeck replaces Walcott, Spurs make TWO changes”
Having spun FIVE scoops and sensations from news that Sanchez was out – news that has been consistent ever since Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger said Sanchez was injured but could be fit for Tuesday’s match – the Express needs more. So. It comes up with this:
Arsenal star Alexis Sanchez facing MONTH out with hamstring tear
Unfit. Fit, Almost fit. Touch-and go. Not quite fit. And now out for a month. It’s been quite a week for Alexis Sanchez…
Transfer Balls: Spurs spend £100,000-a-week to spite QPR and West Ham
Transfer Balls: So, how was the transfer window for Spurs’ striker Emmanuel Adebayor:
In another “EXCLUSIVE’ Simon Austin told Sun readers on February 1
QPR have promised Emmanuel Adebayor a permanent deal if he keeps them in the Premier League. Spurs have agreed to let the 30-year-old move to Loftus Road on loan. [Harry] Redknapp believes that carrot can get the best out of Adebayor again.
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Posted: 3rd, February 2015 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
Manchester United profit on Wilfried Zaha: What Crystal Palace transfer really cost
Manchester United have sold Wilfried Zaha back to Crystal Palace. The Daily Express is agog and outraged:
The Express has numbers:
£11m for 28 minutes! Wilfried Zaha goes back to Crystal Palace but Man Utd pay the price
WILFRIED ZAHA has drawn the bottom line under his Old Trafford career, with Sir Alex Ferguson’s last dabble in the transfer market costing Manchester United an amazing £400,000 a minute.
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Posted: 3rd, February 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
‘Huge’ Transfer Balls for Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham, Manchester United but not Southampton or Reading
Transfer Balls: As the January Deadline Day shuts the Daily Express tosses more balls than Rebecca Loos at a Peppa Pig Stag do:
Story 1:
Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham and Man Utd target Morgan Schneiderlin’s HUGE transfer hint
The HUGE tranfger hint is – get this – that Schneiderlin is not going to Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham or Manchester United. The HUGE transfer hint involves a club not mentioned in the headline: Southampton.
And that hint amount to Morgan tweeting: “Very happy to be back training ! Thanks to all who did help me and made me work hard to come back stronger!”
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Posted: 2nd, February 2015 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment
How BBC kept Match of the Day from ITV’s clutches
FOOTBALL fans who don’t look at the Premier League goals on Twitter or streamed matches over the web, can delight in the news that BBC has retained the rights to show Premier League highlights on Saturday nights.
On the Daily Mirror, Alex Richards reports:
Match of the Day will remain on our screens for three more years after the BBC retained the rights to Premier League highlights in a deal worth £204million. That is a 15 percent rise on the last rights deal – which cost the BBC £179.7million – despite no bid from ITV, who had been expected to provide competition.
Or as the Daily Mirror says: “The corporation saw off ITV with a £204million bid…”
Also, The BBC owns the rights to Match of the Day. It owns the title. No bid required.
Such are the facts…
Such are the facts…
Posted: 2nd, February 2015 | In: Sports, TV & Radio | Comment
Transfer Balls: Gary Lineker wants the banks to close for deadline day
Gary Lineker shares his thoughts on football’s Transfer Deadline Day:
Great idea, Gary. Only, Rob Hayward makes a good point:
More transfer stuff over here…
Transfer Balls: Arsenal signed 74 players in the Transfer Window
Transfer Balls has been following the mainstream media’s scattergun reports on Arsenal. This January the Gunners have been linked via the national Press with the purchase of 73 players. Yeah, that’s all. The new Gunners are:
Jose Luis Gaya, Joao Pereira, Cheick Tiote, Karim Benzema, Daniele Rugani, Aleksandar Dragovic, Jordan Veretout, Hugo Lloris, Sardar Azmoun, Grzegorz Krychowiak, Ryan Shawcross, William Carvalho, James McCarthy, Mario Suarez, Edinson Cavani, Loris Karius, Ilkay Gundogan, Teddy Bishop, Loic Perrin, Mattia Destro, Federico Valverde, Rayan Souici, Sami Khedira, Yohan Cabaye, Ayoze Perez, Bruno Martins Indi, Moussa Sissoko, Takefusa Kubo, Iker Casillas, Petr Cech, Adrien Rabiot, Stephan El Shaarawy, Marcelo Brozovic, Krystian Bielik, Mats Hummels, Benedikt Howedes, Victor Wanyama, Xherdan Shaqiri, Adil Rami, Paul Pogba, Sebastian Lichtsteiner, Morgan Schneiderlin, Winston Reid, Aymeric Laporte, Virgil van Dijk and Ron Vlaar, Nabil Fekir, Fabio Coentrao, Nemanja Vidic, Sergio Busquets, Lucas Silva, Marco Reus, Matt Targett, Sebastian Giovinco, Nikola Vlasic, Marcelo Brozovic, Gabriel Barbosa, Malcolm Silva, Juan Quinetero, Isco, Sergio Ramos, Paolo Dybala, Jonathan Calleri, Gabriel Paulista, Luis Suarez, Mario Mandzukic, Saido Berahino, Wilfried Bony, Jay Rodriguez, Ter Stegen Mattia Perin, Bafetimbi Gomis and Hector Moreno.
Today the Mirror tosses another name into the hat.
Valencia have inexplicably placed a £60m buy-out clause on Arsenal and United target Nicolas Otamendi.
Did Arsenal bid for Otamendi? No. Did Manchester Untied bid for him? No.
So much for thsoe facts. The one fact we’ve got is that the Arsenal body count is now at 74!
Free Speech: Robert Huth is made to sit on the FA’s Stasi-styled naughty step
Robert Huth was born in Biesdorf, East Berlin. He’s a footballer about to move between English Premiership clubs, signing for Leicester City from Stoke City, having also played for Chelsea. He’s a big unit, tough and aware his talent lies in stopping goals rather than creating them. He’s witty, too.
On Twitter, Huth has offered the opinions: “Crying on the pitch should merit a three-month ban”; “Let’s all welcome Jon Walters [Huth’s Stoke teammate] to Twitter and congratulate him on learning to write”; and warned one player not to be such a “big girl”.
See. Witty.
But not everyone likes his brand of humour. Here’s the headline on the BBC:
Robert Huth: Stoke defender banned over gender comments
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Posted: 1st, February 2015 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer Balls: Spurs buy Jay Rodriguez for £5m less than Liverpool and Manchester City got him for
Transfer Balls: Can it be true that Spurs are ‘Tottenham Hotsplurge”, a club about to splash out £60m on three players? The Sun says it is:
With the transfer window open, Spurs fans reading the Sun‘s screamer would suppose the players are arriving now. Are they?
SPURS want to start a £60million mega-spree by landing Jay Rodriguez before tomorrow’s deadline.
Exciting stuff. They’re coming. It’s a “spree”:
Tottenham have asked Southampton about the England striker and also have their eyes on summer moves for French pair Yohan Cabaye and Aymeric Laporte.
They’re coming…in the summer (so long as no other clubs outbid Spurs and the players want to join them).
But what about Southampton’s Jay Rodriguez?
Rodriguez has been a long-term target for Liverpool and Manchester City but Spurs could step in and snatch him early. The 25-year-old’s contract runs out next season and Saints want to tie him to a long-term deal.
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Posted: 1st, February 2015 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comments (8)
Transfer Balls: Marco Reus wants Chelsea, gets Arsenal, loves Manchester United and signs for Real Madrid
Transfer Balls: The Daily Express says:
Arsenal leading Man Utd and Chelsea in race for Marco Reus
Which clubs are in the chase?
ARSENAL are leading Manchester United and Chelsea in the race to sign Borussia Dortmund’s Marco Reus.
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Posted: 31st, January 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Chelsea sign Barcelona fan Cuadrado from Manchester United
Transfer Balls: Juan Cuadrado is soon-to-be a Chelsea player.
As the Daily Star reports:
Chelsea AGREE contract with £26.8m Manchester United target Juan Cuadrado
Not too long ago Cuadrado was a Manchester United player, according to the papers.
The Daily Mail reported:
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Posted: 30th, January 2015 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Arsenal bid for Spurs Lloris and gazump themselves for Jose Luis Gaya
Transfer Balls: It’s been busy January transfer window for Arsenal. Gabriel Paulista signed. Krystian Bielik signed. But regular readers will know that the mainstream Press have told us that Arsenal are signing – get his – 65 players.
Let’s see who else is is on their way:
The Daily Mirror reports: “Arsenal will meet Valencia youngster Jose Luis Gaya’s £13.5m release clause.” The paper offers no facts to support the news.
Over in the Express, we learn in a story dated January 28:
Arsenal set to SHOCK Valencia and Real by meeting £13.5m release clause for Jose Luis Gaya.
So. Jose Luis Gaya has a £13.5m release clause in his contract.
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Transfer Balls: Chelsea sell Andre Schurrle to Dortmund for £3m less than Wolfsburg signed him for
Transfer Balls: Yesterday the Daily Express reported that Chelsea had sold Andre Schurrle to Dortmund for £27m.
The Daily Telegraph reported that Cheslea want more than £25m for Scurrle
The Daily Mirror reported: “Chelsea’s Andre Schurrle to snub Wolfsburg and hold out for Borussia Dortmund switch”
The Daily Mail: “Andre Schurrle is set to leave Chelsea for £30m, but who else have the Blues cashed in big on over the past few years?”
And today’s news:
The Times: “Chelsea agreed the £23m sale of Andre Schurrle to Wolfsburg last night”
Such are the facts…
Tennis fans thrilled Kim Sears has learned to swear
Balls!
After years of avoiding the use of foul language, Kim Sears has finally learned how to swear.
Kim was sat at the Australian Open watching boyfriend Andy Murray when she found her voice. Experts says she was swearing at umpire Pascal Maria, who had given Murray a series of warnings for time-wasting. It looks like she says ““F***ing have it, you s*** French f***”.
But you can judge for yourself:
Tennis used to feature no swearing at all. The previous ‘verbals’ highlight was John McEnroe asking if “you can be serious” and screaming about “chalk dust”. If you wanted to learn how to swear you had to watch the football. Now the cool kids will be watching tennis to see if they can pick up any phrases. It’s the kind of breakthrough one of the world’s top five racket sports has been waiting for.
These are early says, of course, and we expert to see errors as the aces get to grips with the new vernacular, such as Roger Federer telling the linesman to “shut the up-fuck” and Serena Williams lambasting the coughing man in the crowd for being a “dicky-head”.
It’s hoped that after the swearing tennis will embrace spirits and lagers between ends, segregated seating and fans, such as the Murray Maniacs, arriving on Tennis Specials equipped with Muzza tattoos, inflatable bananas and a refrain about Novak Djokovic’s mum…
Manchester United fleece their fans for £50
Once again, Manchester United have been barracked by all and sundry over their dreadful season ticket policy which requires all holders to buy mandatory tickets for the upcoming FA Cup replay against Cambridge United.
The policy, which has been in place for several years now, means that all fans with season cards are shanghaied into buying a ticket for all home FA Cup ties.
Should any given fan fail to comply with the terms they are punished by having their card suspended for a subsequent Premier League game at Old Trafford.
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Posted: 29th, January 2015 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Andre Schurrle leaves Chelsea as Reus gets his head checked at Arsenal and Manchester United
Transfer Balls: a look at football rumour, speculation and made-up bilge being presented as fact by the mainstream media.
The Daily Express has news to quicken the pulses of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United fans:
Andre Schurrle’s £27m Dortmund move will see Chelsea land Cuadrado AND Reus head to exit
Got that? To prove that that unintelligible line is not an Anorak typo, here it is:
You can try and break the headline down: Schurrle’s off to Dortmund. Cuadrado is off to Chelsea. “AND Reus head to exit”.
Or maybe: Chelsea land Cuadrado AND Reus. And Express reders are advised “Head to exit”?
The next line is simple balls:
BORUSSIA DORTMUND’S move for Andre Schurrle will enable Chelsea to close a deal for Juan Cuadrado this month and could pave the way for Marco Reus to join Manchester United, Arsenal or Liverpool.
It could. Or it could not. Because a few days ago, the Daily Express reported that Reus was having a medical to join Real Madrid:
As for Andre Schurrle, well, the Telegraph says today Chelsea want too much for him:
Andre Schurrle has asked Chelsea to lower their asking price for him as he attempts to clinch a move back to Germany before the transfer window shuts.
Chelsea have everything in place to sign Fiorentina’s Juan Cuadrado as a replacement for Schurrle, but have so far been holding out for more than £25million for the German World Cup winner.Wolfsburg officials travelled to London last week to hold talks over Schurrle, while Borussia Dortmund have shown a strong interest in the forward. But neither club are yet to meet Chelsea’s asking price.
So. £25m is too much. Or as the Daily Mail says, also today: Schurrle has gone for…£30m.
Such are the facts…
will enable Chelsea to close a deal for Juan Cuadrado this month and could pave the way for Marco Reus to join Manchester United, Arsenal or Liverpool.
Posted: 29th, January 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Paul Pogba is off to Arsenal If Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool and PSG don’t want him
Transfer Balls: it’s the Daily Paul Pogba. let’s see what utter balls the mainstream media is reporting on Pogba, the Juventus player.
Today, Ben Jefferson tells Daily Express readers:
Juve to let Paul Pogba LEAVE for Chelsea, Man Utd or Arsenal after move for Axel Witsel
So. Pogba is off to the Premier League. But where to?
United and Chelsea have been joined by Arsenal in the hunt for Pogba…
We know this because the Express says it’s so. But there are no quotes, sources or facts to support the statement.
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Posted: 29th, January 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Gareth Bale talks about loving Arsenal, not doing things and KIen Follett
The Daily Mirror has transcribed Gareth Bale’s interview on Spanish radio. It wasn’t all that hard: Bale spoke in fluent English, throughout. The highlight picked out by all papers is that Bale used to enjoy watching Arsenal “a lot”. Bale, is, of course, a former Spurs player. But it’s no big shocker. Arsenal have played better and more succesful football than Spurs for so long their rivalry is largely the stuff of historical record.
For our money the highlights are these:
How are the Spanish classes going?
Well, I have classes two or three times a week and I understand more and talk more all the time.
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Posted: 29th, January 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Chelsea v Liverpool Balls: Relive the Diego Costa stamp collection in gifs
Did Chelsea striker Diego Costa deliberately stamp on Liverpool’s Emre Can and Reds’ defender Martin Skrtel in a fast and furious Capital One Cup semi-final ?
You’d think referee Michel Oliver would have spotted one of the foot misplacements. But he and his hapless refereeing team missed it all.
Oliver missed the stampings (one more and Costa gets a free coffee); Strkel’s foul on Costa in the penalty box; Lucas’ foul on Matic, which should have resulted in his second yellow card of the game; Laza Markovich’s WWF-style foul on Felipe Luis; Jordan Henderson’s foul, which should have been his second yellow card of the night; and the antics of pop-up Chelsea’s assistant Rui Faria, a man who appears to have sat upon a wasabi enema.
And, you know what? Yeah, it was great entertainment.
Putitng it in persepctive, here’s a video of Glasgow Rangers’ Graeme Souness dirtying his socks on Steaua Bucharest’s Gheorghe Rotariu in the 1988 European Cup. Ity was a “definite yellow” in 1988. And there were no howls of outrage in the Press nor trial by TV:
Posted: 28th, January 2015 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Arsenal get Paul Pogba for £35m less than Manchester United, Chelsea and Man City will pay
Transfer Balls: It’s the Daily Paul Porba, in association with the Daily Mirror, which declares:
Man United, Chelsea AND Man City to battle for Paul Pogba’s £75million signature this summer
Simon Mullock says Pogba’s got a nickname, too: “the 100million euro man.” It’s not quite Smudger, Pyscho or The Beast, but never mind the quality, cop a load of the money:
That’s a lot of money. And it’s a los more than the Mirror said Pogba was leaving Juventus for waaaaay back in December 2014:
That story was from the Daily Mail:
Manchester City are plotting a huge £40m move for Juventus midfielder Paul Pogba. Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is also keen on the former Manchester United youngster, but would struggle to match City’s financial firepower in a bidding war. (Daily Mail)
But now it’s £75m for the same player! What brought about this meteroric rise in his value? Is Pogba’s fee linked the price of a London studio flat?
Manchester United, Chelsea and Manchester City will join a £75million race to land Paul Pogba this summer. Juventus are ready to cash in on one of the hottest young prospects in world football – and Pogba has already been dubbed “the 100million euro man” in Italy. That will spark a battle between the richest club’s in Europe, with Real Madrid, Paris St-Germain and Bayern Munich set to go head-to-head with the Premier League trio for the Frenchman.
All the usual suspects want Paul Pogba. It will be a bidding war. At the last moment Real Madrid or Barcelona will step in. It’s gonna be huge.
The Mirror continues:
Pogba is on course to win his third Serie A title and his agent, Mino Raiola, is preparing the ground for his summer auction.
This story is rooted in what the agent says. Might he be a tad biased, issuing a comment more loaded than George Bush at a frat house party?
He said: “Paul is happy at Juventus but later this year or next year we will see what opportunities have been created. When the league cannot satisfy such a player then it is time to go.”
The £75m figure has no source. And news of a bidding battle comes from the player’s agent.
Such are the facts…
Posted: 25th, January 2015 | In: Chelsea, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Transfer Balls: Gunners sign Paulista in principal for a variety of fees
Arsenal Transfer Balls: So. Is Paulista heading to the Emirates?
The Metro says Paulista is an Arsenal player. Sort of:
Gabriel Paulista transfer to Arsenal agreed in principle, confirm Villarreal
In principle? What does that mean, then? We ask because one day ealier the Metro said Arsenal had signed Paulista in fact. He was scheduled to undergo his medical:
Also:
The £13.8million fee is slightly below Gabriel’s release clause, and now Arsenal are expecting to win a work permit to wrap up the transfer.
The Mail says the fee is £15m. The Guardian says it’s £11m. The Telegraph says it could be as high as £10m.
Such are the facts…
