To Bellevue, Ohio, where the local Police Department bring news of Ashley England (right above), Mary Jordan (left above), and Sammie Whaley. The trip were arrested on June 8 for allegedly assaulting a female McDonald’s worker “because she was working too slowly when dealing with three woman and their family and friends from Sandusky Ohio.”
Thanks to the use of security video, three arrests have been made in a physical altercation yesterday, 6/8/2016 at McDonalds here in Bellevue involving a female employee being assaulted in the parking lot because she was working too slowly when dealing with three woman and their family and friends from Sandusky Ohio.
This afternoon Ashley England, Mary Jordan and Sammie Whaley were arrested and taken into custody by Bellevue Police. England was charged with assault, theft and child endangerment. Jordan was charged with assault and child endangerment. England and Jordan’s child endangerment charges are due to the fact they had their children present with them and participating in the incident. Whaley was also charged with assault.
To West Virginia where a prisoner is upset medics removed marbles he had implanted in his tattooed penis.
The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals says Adrian King can pursue claims that officials at Huttonsville Correctional Center illegally threatened him into consenting to the June 2013 surgery, “or risk being segregated from other inmates and lose his eligibility for parole.”
“The interest in bodily integrity involves the most personal and deep-rooted expectations of privacy, and here, the nature of the surgery itself, surgery into King’s penis, counsels against reasonableness,” says the Virginia-based appeals court.
King now complains of “tingling and numbness” when his bellend is touched “or when it rains, snows or gets cold.” Or when he puts it in blender, uses it to mix drinks in a coffee shop, or fills it with ink and uses it as a biro. If King’s penis history is any guide, his knob could end up in all manner of unusual situations.
King adds that officials hurt his feelings whenever they called him “Marble Man”.
King, who is seeking compensatory and punitive damages, is (ball)baring up well.
“We put the bag in the fridge straight away and had our first serving on Saturday night,” says Ian Lovejoy to the Henley Standard.
“It’s horrible to think about that now because it pooed everywhere and we were left wondering what we’d eaten. We decided to have the rest on Sunday but when I dropped the leaves on my plate I just saw this thing in my hand. I thought, ‘what on earth is this?’.
“It frightened me to death and my wife was extremely upset. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
“I could probably have coped if it was something small, like an ant, but this was more like something from the Bible. I can’t believe it was still alive after all that time in the bag, first on the shelf and then in our fridge.
“It’s worrying because the bag says the salad’s ready washed but they obviously haven’t cleaned it that well. When the shock had passed we just had some cheese sandwiches… I’d like to think the locust might go to an insect expert who can find a use for it.”
That salad sounds revolting – even a locust won’t eat the stuff.
In Wales there are dragons. There are also unicorns.Turks know this, which is why Turkey’s customs officers allowed Emily Harris, 98, to pass though customs with a passport identifying her as a unicorn.
The passport belongs to Emily’s toy unicorn, Lily Harris. Emily’s mum, Nicky, handed it to the boarder goons who stamped it and waved Nicky through.
Says Nicky, 43, from Cwmbran, South Wales: “I didn’t realise until I was putting the passports away. There was a moment of panic when I thought someone would come chasing after us, but nothing. The passport doesn’t even look real – it’s got gold teddy bears on the front and was a completely different size from mine and my husband, Allen’s. The man even asked Emily how old she was, and she told him nine, before he stamped it. The picture ID wasn’t even of Emily, it was of a pink unicorn. And to make it worse, the unicorn wasn’t even on holiday with us.
She adds: “It’s a worry to any parent, how easy it would be to smuggle a child through customs and into another country.”
Joseph Fuller, 65, picked up the wrong child went he meant to collect his grandson from Edisto Primary School in South Carolina on May 19.
He was not alone in this case of mistaken identity:
The report said the grandfather approached the boy, gave him a hug, and said he was there to pick him up early. He asked the boy, who he thought was his grandson, if he was ready to go and the little boy said “yes.” A teacher’s assistant told deputies that she asked the student, “Was this your granddad?” and the student said “yes.” At that point, the report said, the student and the man went to the front office so the boy could be signed out. According to the school, the grandfather was on the approved list of people who can pick up students. The report goes on to say the grandfather put the child in his car and his wife, without turning around in the car, handed the boy a Happy Meal.
When they got home, Fuller looked at the child again. “He had a tooth missing in the front, and I know my grandson did not have a tooth missing in the front,” he says. “Immediately, I brought him back to school, and I am very sorry.”
How did the baby opossum get into a San Diego, California, woman’s toilet? She says she has no idea how the creature got there. San Diego County Animal Services don’t believe the opossum crawled through the plumbing.
Which makes your wonder if it was something she ate? Or if that luxury toilet paper is a little too bulky to flush…
Karen Richardson of Victor, Idaho, was one of several parents chaperoning a group of fifth-graders on a field trip to Yellowstone this week.
Richardson says on Monday, as students were being taught at Lamar Buffalo Ranch, a father and son pulled up at the ranger station with a bison calf in their SUV.
“They were demanding to speak with a ranger,” Richardson tells EastIdahoNews.com. “They were seriously worried that the calf was freezing and dying.”
Rob Heusevelet, a father of a student, told the men to remove the bison from their car and warned they could be in trouble for having the animal.
“They didn’t care,” Heusevelet says. “They sincerely thought they were doing a service and helping that calf by trying to save it from the cold.”
Last week in Yellowstone National Park, visitors were cited for placing a newborn bison calf in their vehicle and transporting it to a park facility because of their misplaced concern for the animal’s welfare.
In terms of human safety, this was a dangerous activity because adult animals are very protective of their young and will act aggressively to defend them. In addition, interference by people can cause mothers to reject their offspring.
In this case, park rangers tried repeatedly to reunite the newborn bison calf with the herd. These efforts failed. The bison calf was later euthanized because it was abandoned and causing a dangerous situation by continually approaching people and cars along the roadway.
Do you trust machines? Would you buy a driverless car? To Tobermory, Ontario, Canada, where a 23-year-old woman who followed her car’s SatNav instructions ended up in a harbour.
Ontario Provincial Police say the driver “took a wrong turn into Little Tub Harbour… weather conditions and the driver being new to the area, a fully submerged vehicle was the result,” police said. The woman escaped by sliding from the car’s window and swimming 30 metres to the shore in 4°C water.
To a park in Nuneaton, Warwickshire, where a dog walker has found an ear lying on the grass. He calls Warwickshire Police. They explain:
“Police were called to reports of a human ear being found in parkland near Frensham Drive, Nuneaton. The call was made with good intentions but thankfully the ear turned out to be a prosthetic and this incident is now closed.”
A prosthetic human ear? Anyone out there with wonky glasses?
It reminds me of David Lynch’s 1986 film, Blue Velvet. Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle Maclachlan) finds a severed / prosthetic ear in a field. Lynch explained:
“I don’t know why it had to be an ear. Except it needed to be an opening of a part of the body, a hole into something else… The ear sits on the head and goes right into the mind so it felt perfect”.
To Miami International Airport, Florida, where a naked Ricardo Nogales, 47, is being arrested on a breach of security charge after he jumped the perimeter fence and entered the restricted airfield area.
Miami-Dade Police says Nogales is a Cuban national. He’s also unemployed. He said he jumped the fence because he wanted to go back to Cuba.
To north Belfast, Northern Ireland, where it’s alleged a man smashed windows at the offices of the Public Initiative for Prevention of Suicide (PIPS). The man is now in hospital because reportedly one brick he threw bounced back and hit him on the head.
Up the tofu mountain we trudge to Highgate, where James Atherton is looking to rent out his toilet. James owns a standalone bog inside a block of flats at the bottom of Highgate West Hill. He tells the Camden New Journal:
““The bus drivers in Highgate don’t have a toilet. I thought they might be interested in buying it, or maybe three of them could get together and rent it.”
Instead of pissing on Parliament Hill Fields, drivers will spend a penny £3,000 to slash all over James’s plumbed potty. He then puns:
“I hope they don’t shut the public toilets in Pond Square because they are needed but it would be good news for me in a business sense.”
Says one local: “It’d make an ideal starter home.”
“It’s nothing I ever came across so I didn’t know what to do,” says Burger King employee Ethan Grewe, who works at the eatery in Coon Rapids, Minnesota,. “The caller told my manager the fire department were detecting dangerous levels of gas and if we didn’t break the windows the building would explode. I guess I was a little scared. My other co-workers were doing it so I just followed along.”
The Ford Taurus took the brunt of Mikhail Igrevich Belenky’s assault. The student 19, of Howard Lake, Minnesota, was seen screaming and hitting the vehicle on the Winona State University campus.
Police were called. Belenky told officers the car was giving him no end of trouble. the cops smelled booze on his breath. So they pinched Belenky for underage drinking.
It didn’t end there. Belenky had been abusing the wrong car. so they arrested him for first-degree criminal damage to property.
To Florida, where 60-year-old Victoria Reid has been arrested on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon domestic violence and aggravated assault domestic violence.
She is said to have challenged her husband of 16 years over his affair.
Reid demanded that her husband sit on the couch and told him that she was going to maim him and give him post-traumatic stress disorder, from which she said she also suffers, according to deputies. Reid taunted her husband and threatened to shoot him in the face and chest and kill him, officials said. Reid shot her husband in his left knee, but the bullet travelled up his thigh and lodged in his testicles…
Vale, Charlie, the African Grey parrot, who breathed his last at The Rising Sun in Kemsing, Kent, his home for 40 years. Says Charlie’s landlady Michele Hunter:
“He did all the things which were bad for him. His favourite foods were cashew nuts and pork scratchings, which makes sense when he lived in a pub, I suppose. I found him lying in the bottom of his cage, holding a pork scratching. So he must have been happy at the time he died, as he was eating away.”
Let us pray for Acomb Parish Church, in York, where “Chris is Risen”.
Says Assistant Curate Ned Lunn: “The pastor at the Baptist Church is actually called Chris. He’s got to get up for a sunrise service at 6.30am on Easter Sunday. His predecessor didn’t manage to get up for the service last year.”
Loud Whisper of the Day is the story of State troopers in Massachusetts who pulled over a car and searched it. Jordan Johnson, Ethan Richards and Carrie Tutsock were caught travelling at 11 mph above the speed limit.
The cops noticed the crack pipe resting on the front passenger’s leg. They find two more crack pipes, scales, needles, bags of heroin and a small quantity of crack cocaine.
In the back of the police car, Tutsock allegedly turned to Johnson and Richards whispered, “I don’t think they found all the stuff in the car.” Police return to the trio’s vehicle, where they discovered a Coca Cola can containing 230 baggies of heroin.
Johnson, Tutsock and Richards were arraigned in Northampton District Court on Thursday and were each charged with possession with the intent to distribute a Class A drug.
The message is that if you want to hoodwink the cops, hide your drugs inside a vessel labelled ‘Coke’ and play dumb – but not as dumb as Tutsock, obviously.
To Massachusetts, where police are searching for two men challenging passers-by to rap battles.
Charlton police said a black SUV with two or three men in their late teens or early 20s inside, pulled up to three young teenage boys on Dresser Hill Road at about 3pm on Saturday.
One of the men, described as having brown hair and a pale complexion, wearing a grey T-shirt, gray pants and open-toed sandals, got out of the vehicle and started rapping while the other men asked the boys if they wanted to “spit some bars” with them.
When the boys declined, the SUV drove off.
Open-toed sandals. Singing. Brown hair… pale. Hanging out with other men. It’s the second coming!
When Anna Reed of Spirit Lake, Iowa, dropped keys to her rented car down a public toilet she did as any rational human being would have done: she called the plumberlocksmith rental office police.
When police arrived they asked Reed for her name. They ran it through the big computer and spotted an outstanding warrant for possession of a controlled substance. For added oomph, she told them there were drugs in the locked car.
The police called a locksmith, who opened the car door, allowing the officers inside to find a “large variety of prescription pills and a small amount of marijuana”.
Reed has been charged with possession of marijuana, possession of a controlled substance, and possession or use of drug paraphernalia.
Police were unable to retrieve the key from the toilet, which, like Reed, remain in deep shit.
The story of a rat a big – or as small – as a toddler has been all over the news. The Star, naturally, made it its own. But was the rat really that big? Did it weigh the same as small child?
Hackney council, on whose patch “Tony” found the dead monster – picked it up; posed for a photo with the heavy beast on the end of a stick; threw beast away – is unsure: