The Poker Playing Monkey

“DO chimps like to gamble?” asks the Mail.

“You bet they do.”

Indeed: “When given the choice between a safe bet and a high-risk and highstakes option, chimps will always choose the latter.”

The Mail says this means that chimps are the only members of the animal kingdom prepared to gamble.

The Mail is wrong, as anyone who has seen the footage of dogs playing cards knows.

And the Times says the bonobo monkey is also partial to a punt, albeit a safer bet than the chimps, say scientists at Harvard University.

This is all of interest for anyone who finds themselves sat with a table of monkeys and is uncertain how they will react to the flop.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment

A Beating Heart Sculpture

A HEART is art:

Anorak

Posted: 26th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)

Thomas Beatie Is A Pregnant Man

THOMAS Beatie is a transman.

He is legally male, and has a wife called Nancy. He’s 22 weeks pregnant.

Eight years after having his last menstrual cycle he stopped taking bimonthly testosterone injections and his body regulated itself so that he was able to conceive.

Says Beatie:

“Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am. In a technical sense I see myself as my own surrogate, though my gender identity as male is constant. To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child — I am so lucky to have such a loving, supportive wife. I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family.

“Our situation sparks legal, political, and social unknowns. We have only begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender.”

Beatie is due on July 3.

Picture Video

Anorak

Posted: 26th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (69)

The Telsa Purple Energy Shield And Keychain

SOVLE all your energy firled issue with the Telsa Purple Energy Shield:

IF you happen to have “energy field” problems (or if you’re just very gullible) you can buy the “Tesla Purple Energy Shield” from Life Technologies for only $199.95. But what does the device do? Well, the “Energy Shield” which is pictured to the left is apparently a cure-all device for “energy” problems. It’s shown up on a bunch of websites for the purpose of protection from cell phones and all kinds of other harmless devices.

Depleted Cranium sees a similar amulet for less…

Anorak

Posted: 25th, March 2008 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comment

Google Maps Captures Drugs Deal From Every Angle

GOOGLE Map’s streetview feature involves the search engine’s agents spying on you as they tour city neighborhoods in an unmarked van.

The pictures are of a drugs deal on the South Side of Chicago.

Wonder what happened to the old TV detector vans…

Image

Anorak

Posted: 24th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)

Singapore Teaches Lessons In Seduction

IN Singapore, the government is offering students lessons in seduction.

The city state’s flagging birth rates need upping.

Says 18-year-old mechanical engineering student, Isabel Seet, in the Straits Times newspaper: “My teacher said if a guy looks into my eyes for more than five seconds, it could mean that he is attracted to me and I stand a chance.

“It’s very interesting, and if I have a boyfriend in future, I’ll know how to cope with any problems we may have.”

Specifically, if said lover, most likely an optician, has cataracts, myopia or mad staring eyes.

Anorak

Posted: 24th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4)

Cheesus, The Cheetos Christ Supersnack

STEVE Cragg, Director of Recreation and Youth Ministries at Memorial Drive United Methodist Church, Houston, is eating a bag of Cheetos when he comes across a vision.

He thinks it looks like a… a vision!

“When I first saw it. Oh, it kind of looks like a dog or something with the two legs. Then I turned it on its side. I was fixing to eat it,” said Cragg. “And that is the image I saw. I don’t think the heavenly choir actually started singing, but in my mind they did.”

His students have named it Cheesus.

Says he: “Please know that I am not making light of Easter or religion. I do not think that God makes Cheetos that look like Jesus or creates images of Himself on screen doors.

“I do know that God reveals Himself to us in a zillion different ways. Seeing the image of Christ in a Cheeto means that I was able to imagine it. God’s creation is full of signs and things that can and do remind us of Him.”

Old Mr Anorak once found a stain on his pyjamas that looked like a young Cliff Richard…

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (6)

Woman Released From Jail Arrested

KATHLEEN Soliah, aka Sara Jane Olson, is being returned to prison in California.

As reported, Soliah was paroled on Monday and re-arrested Friday night at Los Angeles International Airport. Why?

California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation spokesman Oscar Hidalgo said that officials miscalculated Olson’s sentence and gave her a year’s more time off her term than she deserved.She was officially arrested late Saturday morning after authorities examined her sentence, reassessed her time credits and determined that she still had more time to do.

As the Sacramento Bee explains:

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Robber Hypnotises Supermarket Staff Into Handing Over Money

TO an Italian supermarket in Ancona where a man is eyeballing the cashier.

Police have released video footage of a man who has been “hypnotizing supermarket checkout staff and getting them to hand over the cash”.

Says the Mail: “In every case, according to reports, the last thing staff remember is a man leaning over and saying ‘Look into my eyes’ before suddenly finding the till is empty.”

The identity of the man is not know, but the Mail says he “bears an uncanny resemblance to Rasputin and Saddam Hussein (both dead – at least we believe they are) and “Matt Lucas”, whose “hypnotist character on Little Britain is also fond of the phrase ‘Look into my eyes’”.

Mr Lucas has yet to be interviewed by Italian police, but a shoplifter apprehended in central Coventry is complaining of being made to do it by Jeremy Beadle…

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (2)

The Burka Robber: Police Hunt For 6ft 6in Muslim Woman

TRY not to stare at the 6ft 6in figure in the burka.

She is pushing a pram. She is at the door of Friends Jewellers in Smethwick, West Midlands.

Owner Raj Kumar takes up the story. Says he in the Mail: “We have buzzer entry and he was trying to get my mum to let him in. She thought he looked too tall to be a woman but he had this pushchair with him.”

A 6ft 6in tall transvestite dressed in a burka pushing a buggy. His money is as good as anyone’s. Release the catch.

Continues Mr Kumar: “When she opened the door these men ran in from behind and used hammers to smash through the next door. It took them about five goes to get through the glass.”

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment

A 55-Year Old Woman’s Cancer Baby And What It Means For You

“MUM TO BE AGE 55 WAS TOLD HER BUMP WAS CANCER.”

The Mail’s front page features Susan Tollefsen, age 57. She “feared the worst when she was sent to hospital for a scan on her growing bump”. And was told by the sonographer: “Congratulations, you’re almost 30 weeks pregnant.”

“I was lying on the examination table thinking, ‘I’m going to die’ when the sonographer turned round to me and said ‘Congratulations’,” says Susan.

“My initial reaction was to think, ‘What a terrible way to tell me I’ve got ovarian cancer’. When he then said, ‘You’re pregnant’ I was literally speechless.

It turns out that the “Easter miracle” is a combination of IVF treatment, luck and perseverance.

Susan we learn is a special needs teacher. She is now with Nick but was married to Bruno, an Italian restaurateur.

Nick’s job is not given. And Mail readers are surely interested to know what it is Nick does. The Mail begins each interview by extending a gloved hand and asking: “So, what is it you do?” How did Nick escape?

In harvesting job titles, the Mail can provide context to stories, coming up with news such as today’s headline maker: “Financial adviser arrested and forced to give DNA sample after spraying neighbour with garden hose.”

Financial advisors can debate if they are more likely to spray a neighbour with a garden hose, just as special needs teachers once married to Italian restauranteurs can wonder if they have ovarian cancer, billed as the “silent killer”?

But statistics rely on facts and until Nick’s job is specified, we fear many 57-year-old women with distended stomachs will be uncertain how they fit into the picture.

And if being married to a sales executive for a biscuit company increases or reduces their chances of conception, or a row with the neighbours?

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment (1)

The Vice Guide To North Korea

PERVERTS Sans Frontières journey inside North Korea, literally, with the Vice Guide To North Korea:

The first leg of the trip was a flight into northern China. At
the airport the North Korean consulate took our passports and all of our money, then brought us to a restaurant. We were sitting there with our tour group, and suddenly all the other diners left and these women came out and started singing North Korean nationalist songs.

We were thinking, “Look, we were just on a plane for 20 hours. We’re jet-lagged. Can we just go to bed?” but this guy with our group who was from the LA Times told us, “Everyone in here besides us is secret police. If you don’t act excited then you’re not going to get your visa.”

So we got drunk and jumped up onstage and sang songs with the girls. The next day we got our visas. A lot of people we had gone with didn’t get theirs. That was our first hint at just what a freaky, freaky trip we were embarking on…

Link – Episode 1

Via

Anorak

Posted: 21st, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Woman Killed In Stingray Attack

JUDY Kay Zagorski was in a boat off the Florida Keys when a 75lb (34kg) spotted eagle stingray hit her.

The force of the impact caused her to fall over and her head struck the deck of the vessel.

The stingray died in the impact.

Mrs Zagorski, of Pigeon, Michigan, was pronounced dead in hospital.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)

Gay Scientists Have Isolated The Christian Gene

GAY Scientists Have Isolated The Christian Gene:

Via

Anorak

Posted: 21st, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)

Nurse Kim Walker Whips Off Her Killer Primark Knickers

KIM Walker went into severe anaphylactic shock after “squeezing into a pair of tummy-slimming pants”.

The Sun says Walker bought her big knickers in a Primark shop. The near-death experiences keep on coming.

Walker, a nurse, noticed a rash appear while on duty. Says the paper: “Kim whipped the knickers off and tried to control the reaction with anti-histamine tablets.”

She had to be injected with adrenalin as her “throat closed and she gasped for breath”.

Says Walker: “Anaphylactic shock is life-threatening. Luckily, I was in A&E and got adrenalin. I can laugh now but it was very scary when I couldn’t breathe. It will be quite a tale to tell my two-year-old daughter when she’s older – mummy’s mad pants episode.”

Such is the security in our hospitals we imagine the incident was caught on CCTV camera. Should the Sun obtain a copy and feature it on its website, we imagine many readers will appreciate the health and safety message as a nurse removes her knickers.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (2)

Philippines Heath And Safety Says Crucifixion Hazardous To Health

IN the Philippines the locals love a good Easter crucifixion.

Every Good Friday in the predominantly Roman Catholic Southeast Asian nation dozens of men re-enact the crucifixion of Jesus Christ by having themselves nailed to wooden crosses.

At the same time hundreds of others, mostly men, strip to the waist and whip themselves until their backs are cut and bloody as a way of atoning for their sins over the past year.

But do take care.

Health Secretary Francisco Duque wants the penitents to ensure that their whips are well-maintained”.

The health department has also warned that the six-inch nails used in crucifixions should be sterilised.

And allowed to cool before use…

Anorak

Posted: 20th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)

Conman Pretends To Be His Barrister

“A CONMAN awaiting trial for swindling three women out of their savings stole his own barrister’s identity to trick his fourth victim,” writes the Times .

Having being charged with deception, Roy Moyse claimed to be barrister Roy Benson who worked in the same chambers as he’d taken on to represent him in court.

Roy Moyse has now been jailed for three years for tricking three women out of more than £50,000.

Mr Benson has a GSOH, a wallet left at home and is free for dinner…

Anorak

Posted: 19th, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comment

Making Sweaters From Loved Ones And Dogs

WHEN Kara and Penny died, they left behind a little of themselves on the carpet of Beth and Brian Willis’s home.

Whooa! This is no tale of murder most foul. It is a tale of two dogs, albeit with human names. We are a nation of dog enthusiasts but not all dog deaths are investigated by the police. The world of vets has to produce a Harold Shipman. Not yet.

What Kate and Penny left behind was hair. And Beth and Brian set about combing it from their carpet. They spun it. And they turned the yarn into jumpers.

Says Brian: “They are extremely warm and pretty much waterproof. Unless it is banging it down it is fine. I’ve always got a sweat on by the time I get from the bus to the shops.”

Indeed, it cannot be easy keeping up with your jumper at 73-years-of-age, should the garment have retained elements of the creature’s personality. And then there is the tail chasing, sniffing and urinating.

A picture of Beth and Brian in the Sun shows her to be a woman with workable grey hair and Brian to possess a goatee beard.

There is every reason to believe that should one of them perish – be run over by car, say – the other can kept he love alive in the form of a hat or lined vest…

Anorak

Posted: 19th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (8)

Headline Of The Day: Student Sues After Being Woken Up

HEADLINE of the Day: “Conn. student sues after being awakened.”

DANBURY, Conn. – Danbury officials have been notified they are being sued by a student who was awakened in class by a teacher who made a loud noise. Documents filed with the Town Clerk, a prelude to a lawsuit, claim that a sleeping student suffered hearing damage when his teacher woke him up by slamming her hand down on the boy’s desk in December.

Attorney Alan Barry says 15-year-old Vinicios Robacher suffered pain and “very severe injuries to his left eardrum” when teacher Melissa Nadeau abruptly slammed the palm of her hand on his desk on Dec. 4.

Master Robacher is, of course, American and it is thus in his nature to sue. But the incident suggests classroom rebellion. Better, perhaps, had Robacher told his teacher he was an art installation.

We are not told what lesson was being taught, but what fun had the young scamp woken and uttered: “To die, to sleep; to sleep, perchance to dream.” Stick in a mawkish Robin Williams cameo and you’ve got the makings of a film.

Of course, what should now happen is everyone who sits in Robacher’s chair falls asleep in class. The school panic as the source of this matter is debated and fretted over would keep the students amused for years to come.

And interested in class…

Anorak

Posted: 16th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (5)

Brain Surgeon Operates With £10 Cordless Drill

An eminent British neuro-surgeon has been performing complex brain operations using a £30 do-it-yourself cordless power drill at a clinic in Ukraine.

Henry Marsh, a senior consultant at St George’s hospital in Tooting, south London, has used the Bosch 9.6 volt battery-operated hand tool to open up the skulls of his patients to remove life-threatening tumours. Occasionally the battery has gone flat halfway through.

The operation is performed with the patients fully awake – a technique that fell out of use in Britain 50 years ago. Marsh said that Ukrainians could withstand such a practice because they were “very tough”.

The 58-year-old consultant travels to Ukraine twice a year to perform free operations at a clinic run by a fellow surgeon, Igor Petrovich. The handyman drill was used because the local doctors could not afford state-of-the-art equipment.

When working for the National Health Service, Marsh uses a £30,000 compressed-air medical drill, but he said that the Bosch was an effective stand-in. “There’s not a huge difference,” he said. “The drill is Igor’s solution. It’s simply an ordinary drill which he uses with the standard medical drill bits.

“I have used the Bosch drill myself when I’ve been operating with Igor. It’s exactly the drill that you could have in your garden shed. He bought it at a do-it-yourself shop.”

There is a shortage of fully trained anaesthetists so Marsh’s patients are given only a local anaesthetic. This enables him to talk to them to ensure that he is not doing any permanent damage as he drills.

FROM Carmen in the Anorak Forums..

Anorak

Posted: 16th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (6)

Word’s Biggest Snow Woman Is A Jew

The Word’s Biggest Snow Woman lives in Bethel, Maine. She is a composite blend of:

Height: 122′1″;
Weight: 13,000,000 lbs. of snow;
5 foot wreaths for eyes;
16 skis for eyelashes;
“Carrot” nose made of muslin, chicken wire & wood frame by the MSAD #44 elementary school children;
5 red auto tires for lips, painted by the Mahoosuc Kids Association;
48 ft. circumference fleece hat made by the Mt. Valley Middle School students;
130 ft. scarf;
6 1/2 ft. Maine-mica snowflake pendant created by Jim Mann of Mt. Mann Jewelers;
30 ft. spruce trees for arms;
3 truck-loader tires for buttons;
2,000 ft. of rope hair!

Someone should tell Mel Gibson. She’s Jewish. (It’s all part of the plot, you know)…

Anorak

Posted: 16th, March 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (12)

Finland MP Wants ‘Love Vacation’ For Workers And An Identity

MORE new from the Finnish parliament where MP Tommy Tabermann (SDP) wants to grant all employees a paid 7-day annual “love vacation”.

During the seven days, couples could devote themselves to each other ”both at an erotic and emotional level” and ”find their way back to the path of love in order to find the wellspring of love again”.

Some MPs suspected that the proposal might discriminate against single persons, but others said that a love vacation would be the privilege of all, even the singles and the single parents.

Whether this is a good idea or not, we hesitate to say, more interested in how Finland is developing a repututaion as a European oddity.

The country formerty known as Finland Nil Pointsm needs a new identity, losing much of its international profile when Lordi won the Eurovsion song contest in 2006 and when the Moomins disappeared from children’s TV.

The country’s politicians are now vying to make Finland interesting to outsiders.

Matti Vanhanen, Finland’s prime minister, is partial to:

Matti Vanhanen, 52, prime minister since 2003, has been enjoying a wave of support since the disclosure that he likes to take a sauna before sex and enjoys his favourite meal of beef and baked potatoes afterwards.

And Finnish government bureaucrat Mikko Puumalainen wants to establish a Chinese-style governmental firewall on the internet to prevent Finns from reading websites that ‘strive to maintain an anti-immigrant political climate’ by e.g. publishing facts such as official statistics on crime rates.

The hope is that Finland can rise from mediocrity and come to stand for something…

Anorak

Posted: 16th, March 2008 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comments (4)

The Baby With Two Faces

THE baby with two faces.

The was born recently in India with two faces. Locals believe the girl is a reincarnated god. Janus…

Anorak

Posted: 15th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (5)

Classified Dick For Entertaining

Classified Dick For Entertaining

Via 

Anorak

Posted: 15th, March 2008 | In: Caption Competition, Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (14)

Pregnant Croatian Burglar Breaks Waters

Pregnant Croatian Burglar Breaks Waters. #

Source ANSA, via:

“A pregnant Croatian burglar fell from a balcony in northern Italy on Thursday and gave birth. Police said the woman, 26, lost her footing as she was trying to clamber into an apartment and fell from a height of 12 feet. Rushed to hospital, she was treated for bruises and soon after gave birth to a boy“.

Her own boy?

Anorak

Posted: 15th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)