Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
52-Stone Man Digs His Own Grave
IT takes four hours to lower the body of Christian Jeffrey into the ground.
The Mail says a solitary “good Samaritan” attended the 29-year-old’s council-paid funeral service.
Jeffrey is not the last but one man on Earth. Jeffrey is – was – 52-stone.
Gravediggers spent five days preparing the 4ft 8ins x 7ft 8ins hole for Mr Jeffrey and a 4ft x 7ft coffin, made of a reinforced MDF.
Dave Butler, cemetery groundsman, tells us: “There have been six of us working on the site and all our backs are aching. It’s been the biggest job I’ve been involved in by a long way. It usually takes us two days at most to prepare graves – and that’s when they’ve been dug by hand. This one has taken us five days and we had the use of a digger. It has been a real team effort.”
Sad times. RIP, Mr Jeffrey. But we cannot help that this was an opportunity missed.
In the drooling maw of what we are told is an obesity crisis, surely some oversight that Sarah Ferguson was not invited to attend, and the ceremony not forming the central plank is an Trevor McDonald TV special.
Mr Jeffrey should not have been lowered into a readymade pit but used as part of a scientific experiment to see if the fat really are digging their own graves. Look on as Mr Jeffrey is raised to great height by the Great BRtian Tug-o-War team and then let go.
Can he make it to six feet under, even after heavy rain?
Posted: 15th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Kimba The Lion In Love
TWO men raise a lion. When it grows up they meet in again.
Posted: 14th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (7)
Devon’s New Penguin Police Force
DEVON has a new penguin police force:
TWO new recruits have begun training for a rather unusual job in Devon.
Kate Hall and Kim Jayne have been employed as penguin patrollers at Living Coasts in Torquay.
Dozens of African and macaroni penguins are allowed to roam freely and mingle with visitors and are often seen waddling down the footpaths.
The new patrollers have joined a team who try to ensure visitors do not get over-excited and start trying to pick up penguins.
P-p-p-p-p-p-p- and so on…
Posted: 13th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Woman Stuck On Toilet Seat For Two Years
IN Ness City, a 35-year-old is at on the toilet. She has been sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years.
Her body is stuck to the seat. The boyfriend has called police.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple says it appears the woman’s skin has grown around the seat.
“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” says Whipple. “The hospital removed it.”
Adding: “She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”
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Posted: 13th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (25)
Woman Locked In Cell And Forgotten About
ADRIANA Torres-Flores is in jail. She is in the Washington County Courthouse. The cell measures 8 1/2-by-9 1/2-foot.
She has been arrested on a charge of selling pirated music CDs. She has broken a condition of her bail.
In the cells there is a metal table, two benches and a light bulb that never goes out. She has no food. No water. No toilet.
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Posted: 12th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
Press Release Of The Day: Free Concert Tickets For Sperm Donors
SPERM donors get free tickets for rocking out:
Sperm donors are to be offered free tickets to any music festival in Europe under a new initiative.
Passes to a festival of their choice will be offered to any donors in Europe who contribute to Ireland’s sperm reserves.
Irish stocks are apparently dwindling, with demand far higher than is sustainable, and donations down by 40% over the last four years.
The Sperm For Tickets initiative makes use of special donation containers and a fast courier network to offer donation via mail.
Anyone in Europe can request a donation pack, indicating which European festival they wish to attend via Spermfortickets.com.
What music do most donors – and onanists – like? Anything by Kylie? Cliff Richard?
Posted: 12th, March 2008 | In: Online-PR, Strange But True | Comments (3)
The Etch A Sketch Clock And Daylight Saving
AFTER the Etch A Sketch Museum, the Etch A Sketch clock…
Posted: 11th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)
Woman Finds Diamond In Digestive Biscuit
MRS Kim Stead, 49, is eating a Digestive biscuit. She hits something hard. A toenail? A tooth? A diamond.
Says she in the Mail: “It’s my birthday on Monday so it was a nice little present. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m going to retire on it. It probably fell out of someone’s ear or belly button at the production line. I’ve told McVitie’s, who sent me a little plastic cup to put it in and return it.
“They’ve tried to tell me it could be ‘crystallised sugar’ but it’s definitely a diamond. They apologised and then asked if any of my teeth had been damaged.”
By the sugar..?
Posted: 10th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (4)
Belgium’s Floating Restaurant Takes The Pis
THIS eatery is suspended from a crane high up in the air.
It’s in Belgium.
It might be the top tourist attraction in Belgium.
A reason for going.
But how do you go when you are floating in the air? And were do you go?
A look at Begium’s second biggest tourist attraction may provide us with a clue:
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Posted: 9th, March 2008 | In: Caption Competition, Strange But True | Comments (10)
Beware The Fake Fake Bottoms In New York
IN the New York Post, a story of the woman who promises a better bottom – a Jennifer Lopezxbottom.
Note: Botox and buttocks are not the same thing. When talking with your surgeon, hairdresser or rumpologist remember to speak clearly:
“I need to see your butt,” Kimberly Smedley told a Post reporter posing as a customer last week in a suite at the Eastgate Tower Hotel on East 39th Street.
Smedley, a heavyset woman wearing camouflage pants and fake Ugg boots, then demanded $1,600 in cash to give nine injections to each cheek.
Sitting on a coffee table was a Poland Spring jug, which she claimed contained “medical-grade silicone,” along with a syringe and cotton balls.
“It’s illegal,” she said. “I’m not a doctor, and I’m not a nurse”…
When it was her turn, the woman lay face down on a couch, in view of the others, while Smedley gave her about 10 shots on each side.
“I wanted a J.Lo butt – full, round and high,” the woman said.
The injections gave her the “lift” she wanted – at first. But now she is seeing doctors for many hard lumps, ripples and skin discolorations that have developed on her rear.
Anorak advises that these small bumps – or Minogues – are investigated…
Pic: Hack
Posted: 9th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
Italian Women Can Legally Lie
IN Italy it is legal for a women to lie. The Court of Cassation, the highest appeal court in the country, says so:
Italy’s highest appeal court has ruled that married Italian women who commit adultery are entitled to lie about it to protect their honour.
The court gave its landmark ruling after hearing the case of a 48-year-old woman, convicted of giving false testimony to police by denying she had lent her mobile phone to her lover.
The appeal court did not agree that she had broken the law.
It said bending the truth was justified to conceal extra-marital relationships.
In a predominantly Catholic country you might expect the courts to take a dim view of lying and adultery.
But not in this case.
The woman who brought the appeal was from Porto Ercole on the Tuscany coast, and named only as Carla.
She had lent her telephone to her secret lover, Giovanni, who then used it to call Carla’s estranged husband, Vincenzo, and insult him.
Giovanni, the lover, was convicted of abusive behaviour in a local court, and Carla convicted as an accessory.
Last month the court ruled that men who touch their genitals in public are committing a criminal offence. Better to touch someone else’s…
Posted: 8th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Headline Of The Day: John Denver Karaoke Sparks Thai Killing Spree
IN the Telegraph: “John Denver karaoke sparks Thai killing spree.”
A gunman in Thailand shot-dead eight neighbours, including his brother-in-law, after tiring of their karaoke versions of popular songs, including John Denver’s Country Roads.
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Posted: 8th, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comments (3)
Vietnam Clamps Down Hard On Hamsters
YOU can’t buy a hamster in Vietnam, not for love nor money.
You cannot possess a hamster. You cannot take a hamster out for dinner. The Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development’s Animal Health Department (etc.) says anyone caught with a hamster will be fined up to 30m dong [insert adolescent chuckle].
The powers that be say hamsters are dirty. Hamsters spread disease. Hamsters make you sick.
Officials have also expressed concern that the animals are imported from China and Thailand without proper licensing or controls.
In a tropical Asian country like Vietnam, hamsters are not a traditional pet of choice.
That role has normally been held by various types of fish.
You can eat a fish. But can you at a hamster?
Is it a hamster? Here’s the inevitable clip…
Posted: 7th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4)
Richard Garriott’s Space Modesty Challenge
RICHARD Garriott, a British computer games tycoon, sorry, “legendary video game programmer and designer” (source: Richard Garriott.com), has paid £10million to journey to the International Space Station this summer.
But what will he do during his ten-day mission?
The British National Space Centre wants “kids” to decide.
Says Richard: “I want to involve as many people as possible. We need great ideas.”
Anorak put the question to the fifth form at the Anorak Academy of Sciences And Media Studies, Department Of Low Emissions (DOLE). The top five results:
1. Moon everyone
2. Urinate over Croatia
3. Skateboard
4. Throw chips at the pilot’s head
5. Smoke
Your suggestions please…
Posted: 6th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Crocodile Gives Backpacker His Just Desserts
NOVON Mashiah is on holiday in Australia. He sees a crocodile.
Says he: “I began playing with it for a photo.
“I was pointing at it when it suddenly jumped up at me – I didn’t realise that crocs were so aggressive.”
Posted: 6th, March 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (3)
Seven-Year-Old Girl Takes Knife To School
A PLAYGROUND spat: “A seven-year-old girl brought a knife in to her school after a playground spat, a head teacher said.”
Staff at Broom Leys Primary School in Coalville, Leicestershire, discovered the knife after another pupil showed it to two children during a morning break.
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Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)
Strawberry Meth Induces Paronoia In Oxfordshire
STRAWBERRY Meth is on the loose.
It’s not Cheese. But it looks a bit like Cake.
Police in west Oxfordshire have sent an e-mail warning to local schools. It is being sold at school gates.
Some schools are holding special assemblies to warn the kids to stay off the Strawbs.
Says Chief Inspector Dennis Evernden, of Thames Valley Police: “We would like to apologise for any unnecessary concern that we may have caused to schools or parents by sending this warning out about a drug that proved to be a hoax.
“One of our officers, who is new to his post, received the e-mail internally in good faith and forwarded it on to the schools in West Oxfordshire to warn them.
“But after checking its veracity, it was found to be a hoax and a retraction was issued the next day. The officer should have double checked before taking this action, which he did take with the best intentions, and we will be making sure this sort of thing does not happen again.”
In the meanwhile, avoid inhaling strawberries, lest you freak out…
Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)
Joe Weston-Webb’s Dung Catapult
FORMER stuntman Joe Weston-Webb has a catapult loaded with chicken manure.
He says his offices in Kegworth, Notts, have been attacked by arsonists and he is fighting back.
Says he: “There’s no way anyone will get caught…so I thought I would set up my own defence.”
A police spokesman says they would give “practical security advice” but warned against using “unreasonable force”.
Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Captain Benie Bambury Puts Her Leg It On Ice
CAPTAIN Bernie Bambury has lost his leg on a toboggan ride down the Crest Run, reports the Sun.
Captain BB: Is my ankle broken?
Reply: It’s not broken. It’s gone.
He now has a false leg…
Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment
New Pavement Lane For Mobile Phone Users
DID you know that six million people were hurt “crashing into lampposts, bollards and bins last year while testing and talking on their mobiles”?
It is a fact repeated in the Express. A survey says one in four would support “mobile lanes” on pavements. These lanes would be “vividly-coloured” and “skirt round danger spots”.
Good idea.
And why not a set of traffic lights on every door facilitating the safe joining of customers to pavement traffic; a crawler lane for the obese and smokers (aka the gutter); and a hard shoulder for the Rozzers to chase down ne’er-do-wells…
Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment (1)
The Airplane Carry-On Gun Bag
THE GUARDIAN Angel bag by Vlieger & Vandam.
“Are you packing it yourself, sir?”
Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comment
Steven Spielberg’s Paranormal Phenomena
STEVEN Spielberg is readying a new social network for people who are interested in unusual and/or paranormal phenomena like UFOs and ghosts. TechCrunch:
Spielberg has apparently had at least one paranormal experience himself. There are stories of him staying in a hotel called Excelsior House and being so frightened by ghosts that he fled the room and moved 20 miles away. We’ve also heard anecdotes about Spielberg seeing the ghost of a dead relative repeatedly as a child. Whether based in reality or the product of an exceptional imagination, these experiences may have had an impact on his life’s work and this upcoming social network.
Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Moses Was On Drugs And Burning The Bush
MOSES supposes his toeses are roses:
High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.
Moses supposes he is speaking to God, who is a freemason carving words into stone that man may live in peace.
Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy.
“As far Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don’t believe, or a legend, which I don’t believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics,” Shanon told Israeli public radio on Tuesday.
Moses supposes erroneously…
Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4)
German Soldiers Are Fat And Unhealthy
NEWS from Germany: “German soldiers are overweight, smoke too much and do not engage in enough sports, according to a report published Tuesday by the parliamentary commissioner for the defence force.”
Bad news? Good news? So much for spick-and-span Germans. What now for British comedy? Of course the British Empire was once ruled by a female German midget.
“Male and female soldiers are too fat, partake little in sports and pay too little attention to what they eat,” Reinhold Robbe said in his official report to parliament. He called the situation “shocking.”
Begin the invasion…
Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)
