Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
Flesh Gun
‘DUTCH artist Joanneke Meester from Amsterdam has made a gun from her own skin.
She asked surgeons to slice away a 20 centimetre patch of skin from her stomach which she then used to wrap a plastic gun.
The 38-year-old says the work displayed her ‘concern at the rising level of violence in society’.
‘It is easy to shoot someone,’ she said, ‘until you realise it is skin that is being pierced’.
Not with a gun made out of skin it’s not…’
Posted: 29th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Seven Fours
‘ADVERTS for gourmet dog food always bring a smile to the faces of pet owners who have seen their dogs eat an entire dead squirrel in one mouthful.
But Libby, a German Shepherd, didnt even go for meat, preferring to ingest 28 gold balls.
Apparently, she’d been swallowing the balls while being walked near the putting greens at Didsbury Golf Club in Manchester.
Her owner, Mr Wardrop explains: ‘I was absolutely gobsmacked when the vets said they had found 28. To see all those golf balls at once was a staggering sight and they weighed over six pounds, so it was no wonder Libby wasn’t feeling well.
‘The vets gave every ball back to me. They were slightly discoloured but otherwise in great condition and will be great for practice.’
Vet John Ford said: ‘We didn’t even need to X-ray her – she was clanking and we could feel them in her stomach.”
Posted: 28th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Screw You!
‘PRISONER Cell Block H not only gave us one of the best nicknames of all time – Vinegar tits – but let us know that a good screw is often hard to find.
But an overcrowded prison in Tepic, Mexico, has found a solution.
It has hired 42 of its most fearsome inmates to act as guards.
The convicts-turned-wardens will each be paid between £20 and £100 a month.’
Posted: 27th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Jerusalem Or Bust
‘THERE is something worse than Chris Tarrant. A new Lebanese quiz show asks contestants to answer questions on the Middle East troubles.
The Mission, broadcast on al-Manar, a satellite channel run by Hezbollah, sees contestants compete to be the first into a conquered Jerusalem.
Among other things, points are awarded for knowing the names of suicide bombers.
When the winner reaches Jerusalem, the show plays what is, apparently, a popular song: Jerusalem is ours and we are coming to it.’
Posted: 26th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Schnapps, Crackle & Pop
‘AN Austrian waitress, who accidentally served guests industrial strength cleaning detergent instead of schnapps, has been found guilty of causing bodily harm and fined £500.
The court in Klagenfurt in southern Austria heard how five diners ended up in hospital after drinking the liquid, which the overworked waitress had mistaken for the house schnapps.
They were taken to a local hospital after another guest, who had refused to drink the schnapps because it smelt so strange, called an ambulance.
The waitress told the court that she had been ‘stressed’ and had grabbed the wrong bottle from the cellar.
It makes you wonder about the house schnapps ’
Posted: 23rd, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Not So Rosy Future
‘SALLY Webster is rapidly overtaking Cilla as the odds-on favourite in this years Mother from Hell finals.
A star is born |
Sally has decided that Roosey is to become the new Charlotte Church and is grooming her for stardom. Unfortunately for Sally, just like Charlotte Church, Rosy has got herself an undesirable boyfriend.
You stay away from my daughter, shrieked Sally at poor Craig in the street. Youll just bring her down. Youll never amount to anything, just like yer dad. Youll be tinkerin with cars all yer life.
What? Like Rosys dad does? came Craigs intelligent reply.
Sallys latest plan is to get Rosy away from Craig by sending her to the Northern Drama Academy, which looks about as likely as the BBCs Fame Academy to turn out any real stars.
Its either that boy or your career, Sally told poor Rosy. As Rosys career to date has been a performance in a school play even Posh Spice would think was hammy, its pretty obvious which one shes going to choose.
Another deluded Street resident is Candice. At the tender age of 16, Candice is in danger of becoming the new Liz McDonald (but hopefully without the Tina Turner frightwig).
Candice and new shampoo rep Tim went out on a date after he chatted her up in the salon. Unfortunately for Candice, the date consisted of a glass of red wine in her flat and then a tour of her bed sheets.
The minute it was over, Tim was putting on his hair gel and walking out the door. Ill call yer, babe, he shouted down the stairs. Indeed, babe is probably the only thing hell ever call her, as hes unlikely to ever remember her name.
The big Corrie storyline at the moment, however, is Todds torturous discovery that theres actually a gay man trapped in the body of an engaged father-to-be. Todds started sleeping on the sofa and wheeling out the its not you, its me line to poor Sarah Lou.
Hes also starting texting Karl, telling him how much he wants to be with him. Im not going to wait around forever, snarled Karl. If you dont want me, theres plenty out there who would.
This week, Todd confided in his mother Eileen. I dont know what to do, he sobbed movingly. Im in love with someone else. Who is she? raged Eileen. Its not a she, shouted Todd. His name is Karl.
And for once, Eileen was speechless.’
Posted: 23rd, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Broken Theory
‘PUPILS at a Canadian high school are up in arms after the principal ordered them to cut a lesbian kiss out of the play.
Students at Handsworth Secondary say that axing the scene amounts to censorship and will encourage homophobia.
The people who have the issue with it are fighting an already lost battle because being gay is OK. And it’s shown publicly that it’s OK, and you can’t stop it,’ says co-author Susan Rezai.
‘Stopping children from seeing a one-second kiss is not going to make homophobia go away. It’s just going to add to it.’
The school principal had told the drama teacher to take the scene out of the play Broken Theory after complaints from parents.
North Vancouver School Board chair Ginny Diebolt explained: ‘High school plays must have a broad appeal to a broad range in the community.
‘And I think there is an expectation in our community that if you go to a high school play that it is suitable for a broad range in the community.”
Posted: 22nd, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Howard’s Way
‘AS if being prime minister of Australia was not curse enough, John Howard has had a spell put on him by an Aboriginal woman after he decided to disband the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Commission – an elected body that helps Aborigines.
Howard claimed that the commission had become obsessed with symbolic issues, rather than delivering basic services to communities in need.
However, while he was on a visit to the country town of Colac, Victoria, an Aboriginal woman, clad in a possum skin with traditional tribal make-up, pointed a one-inch bone at him and cursed him.
Geoff Clark, suspended chairman of ATSIC, said the curse was a warning to Mr Howard to listen to the Aboriginal community.
‘This curse could go two ways. It could enlighten him and lift a mental block that Mr Howard has about indigenous Australians,’ he said.
Or perhaps not.’
Posted: 21st, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Takeaway Service
‘YOU have to give the robber some credit, if not for his choice of target then at least for his clever thinking.
The man called a branch of KFC in Pittsburgh pretending to be a policeman and warning of a robbery, advising the manager to instruct his staff to co-operate and allow the police to make the arrest.
The robber duly showed up a few minutes later, just as the caller said, and the manager and staff handed over the money as expected, but of course the police never arrived.
The robber, who was armed with a long-barrelled black gun and is believed to be responsible for at least five other robberies in the same area, made off with about $200.’
Posted: 20th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Holy Tackle!
‘TACKLING streakers, rescuing a damsel in distress and keeping the population of the tiny English town of Whitley safe its all in a days work for Batman And Robin.
But who exactly are these caped crusaders? The Reading Evening Post is appealing for information about the dup who have been spotted several times in recent weeks after they were first seen dealing with a pair of streakers in a local football match.
Michelle Kirby was rescued by the pair who pushed her Peugeot 206 to the nearest petrol station when she ran out of fuel on Easter Sunday. ‘They just appeared, she said. I saw them running down the road in Batman and Robin outfits – I was laughing so much. It was like a scene out of Only Fools and Horses and they stayed in character the whole time.
They said, ‘I’m Batman, I’m Robin’ and I said, ‘No, you’re not’ and asked them if they were going to a fancy dress party but they said they were going back to Gotham City.”
Posted: 19th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Causing A Stink
‘THERES no point denying it the smell of decaying old flesh is decidedly repugnant. And its worse if it’s moving around in the shape of an OAP swimming close by.
So, the De Zeehond baths in the Dutch town of Rozenburg has banned one 66-year-old from swimming in its facility.
Manager Peter van Vierssem said: ‘The smell was unbearable. ‘We argued with him about it for a whole year. We asked him to wash his clothes and even sent him letters, but nothing helped.’
Not even a German piranha.’
Posted: 16th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Stupid Is As…
‘DO not judge, lest thee be judged thyself, as someone once might have said.
And if only Australian Justice Dean Mildren had heeded that advice he would not look like such a drongo today.
While presiding over the case of one Tristan Ellis, a burglar with some form, Mildren demanded to know who the ‘idiot’ was who granted bail to the accused.
Mildren was ‘absolutely staggered’ that a felon with so much form had been allowed to go free.
‘Who is the idiot who did that?’ the judge thundered.
Funnily enough, the idiots name was also Justice Dean Mildren.’
Posted: 15th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Queer As Folk
‘IT was Karls birthday this week and for once he got what he wanted: Todd.
‘Surely no-one will see us here…’ |
Karl had organised a night out to Manchesters gay district. While Katie and Sarah were really excited about the prospect of a night out clubbing, Martin and Todd were dreading it but for very different reasons.
I dont want to have to spend the whole night with my back to the wall, joked Martin, whereas Todd was frightened of spending an evening with a room full of gay men because he was terrified hed fancy one of them.
Sarahs hopes of a good night out were dashed when Candice came round in flood of tears, saying she wasnt up to baby-sitting. Shed just discovered that her boyfriend Jason had been doing some home visiting on behalf of Help The Aged sleeping with middle aged women.
Candice went understandably ballistic when he confessed that hed made a pass at Gail. Gail?? she screamed. Thats the most disgusting thing Ive ever heard.
Sarah Lou called Todd to tell him she wasnt going to make it. Dont let that spoil your evening though, she told him.
Todd took Sarah at her word and proceeded to snog the face off Karl. I want yer, he stammered to Karl. I cant help meself, he added, before lunging at the nurse in the middle of the street.
Under soap law, adultery must be committed in public places so the chance of getting caught is multiplied and its good to see that the writers arent discriminating against homosexuals. For who should step out of cab at that very moment but Katy and Sarah Lou?
Todd quickly shoved Karl off him. I wasnt expecting you to turn up, blustered Todd, in the understatement of the year.
Not surprisingly, Todd wasnt very comfortable in a club with his girlfriend and gay lover, so he left early. You and me are gonna happen, Karl whispered to him in a hospital corridor the next day, so you might as well get used to the idea.
Elsewhere on the Street theres another love triangle developing, only love is putting it in polite terms.
Fizz discovered that her mother had stolen her credit card and had racked up almost £300 on it which is a lot of Lycra leopard skin. She threatened to go to the police unless Cilla gave her the money by the next day.
Raising £300 in a night is nothing new to Cilla, however. She simply donned her most hideous, skin-tight outfit and made a call to Uncle Ronnie.
Chesney overheard his mother arranging to prostitute herself on the phone and was understandably upset.
Yer not going to go back to Uncle Ronnie are yer? he pleaded, I like it here with Uncle Les. Not if yer keep yer trap shut, snarled the Mother Of The Year. Otherwise its the childrens home for you.
The Streets second most horrendous woman, Maya, is also showing her true colours this week. Never the most stable of people, shes now gone completely loony by kidnapping Tyrones dog.
You didnt do it, did you? Dev asked Maya after Tyrone had gate-crashed their engagement party and accused her of being a murderer. What do you think? smiled Maya, her scary eyes rolling around in her head.
How long is it going to take for Dev to realise hes engaged to Norman Bates less sane sister? Mind you, this is a man who wears leather waistcoats, so clearly judgement isnt his strong point.’
Posted: 15th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Stroke Of Luck
‘PROVING once more that the Germans are blessed with a terrific – if misunderstood – sense of fun, we hear of the piranha fish that was placed in a pool in which children are encouraged to stroke fish.
No children or fish were believed to have been hurt (which kind of ruins the punchline to this jolly jape) and the 60cm-long fish was caught when party poopers drained the tank and removed the flesh-eating predator.’
Posted: 14th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Mini Marvel
‘OH, how we love the speed camera! And they are every bit as popular with our friends in Belgium as they are back here.
There, a Brussels motorist has been sent a speeding ticket for travelling at 2,100 mph three times the speed of sound!
Thats even more impressive when you learn that he was driving a standard Mini.
When the driver refused to pay, action was taken.
Prosecutors said: ‘We called the local police to find out what height the plane caught speeding along the Boulevard Lambermont was flying at.’
Only, it wasn’t a plane; it was a small nippy motor.
But all is okay – the police realised their error and blamed things on a faulty radar.
To say nothing of their crass stupidity.’
Posted: 13th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Mother Of Inventions
‘IMAGINE the Innovations catalogue on a much grander scale and you have the inventors’ trade fair in Geneva, highlights of which this year include a vibrating condom, an anti-haemorrhoid chair and a ‘Crazy Assistant’ that helps disabled people put on underpants, socks and stockings.
With that line-up, who could resist a visit?
The condom with an inbuilt vibrator was created by a Taiwanese man, while the anti-haemorrhoid chair, which sends a scent of medicinal herbs through the seat which are then warmed by a candle, is of South-Korean origin.
They are among hundreds of different inventions from 42 countries, which also include a fork-knife-tong for cutting cream cakes and a solar-airplane designed by renowned inventor Betrand Piccard.
Can you afford to be without one?’
Posted: 8th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Who’s Top Dog?
‘RATHER aptly, theres a classic dogfight going on down The Rovers Return as Bev and Shelly scrap it out for the managers job.
‘Can I have a bowl of water, please?’ |
Fred had demoted Shelly after the takings went down and he caught her having an illegal lock-in and given her mum the job. Yer take other peoples men and others peoples jobs, Shelly ranted at her mum. You disgust me.
Tensions between the pair were already tense as builder Charlie Stubbs had let slip to Shelly that her mum had slept with Ciaran while he was engaged to Sunita. Yer cant help yerself, can yer mother? spat Shelly.
Which is not entirely fair; Bev would like to help herself much more often, if she could find willing victims.
Once in charge of The Rovers, the power went to her head and it wasnt long before Betty had also walked out after hearing Bev describe her as a just a part-time cook and a poor one at that.
Its just you and me now, she cooed to a startled Ciaran. Bev then proceeded to break every rule in the Employers Handbook by demanding that Ciaran sleep with her or lose his job. Even Ciaran isnt that desperate for a job and promptly quit, making sure Fred knew exactly why.
Right! Thats it! boomed Fred, jowls shuddering from side to side. This pub is going up for sale. Ive had enough, I say Ive had enough.
Poor Fred has enough on his (extremely large plate) as it is at the moment, having just been rejected by Penny King. Nanny Claires rebuke of last week seems to have pricked Pennys conscience and she agreed to do the honourable thing and break it off with Fred.
Yer a lovely man, she told him sadly, but I just cant marry yer. Its too soon after Vernon died. Too soon to marry a fat Northern butcher, but not too soon it seems to sleep with a short Cockney knicker-manufacturer.
I know its wrong, she told Mike later, but I cant help the way I feel about yer. Mike, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth (providing he can find a ladder long enough), promptly took the Merry Widow by the hand and led her to bed.
Our Tracy Luv is another whos never backward at coming forward in the bedroom department. Shes managed to get herself a job in a local florists and a new boyfriend thrown in for good measure.
Its great being young, free and single, isnt it? she whispered in the ear of her date Matthew, conveniently forgetting to mention the fact that she lives with not one but two wrinkled balls of screaming flesh in the shape of her daughter and her grandmother.
Tracy pretended she was working, palmed her daughter off on Ken and lured poor unsuspecting Matt back to the house, not realising that her entire family would choose that time to pop round.
Even with her powers at bending the truth, shed be hard pressed to pass off Amy as Blanches.
Someone else whos got some explaining to do is Dev. Dev-id Essex has agreed to keep hold of some stolen watches for his cousin Neveen but, with Maya around, nothings a secret for long.
You should have told me, she said to him, I can help you. Indeed with Mayas light-fingered skills, shed have never got caught.’
Posted: 8th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
The Reich Stuff
‘ADOLF Hitler’s honorary citizenship of the Austrian town of Haslach has finally been cancelled – 66 years after it was originally granted.
It was granted in March 1938 and scrapped this week when the town’s council decided unanimously to strip Hitler of his honorary status.
Mayor Norbert Leitner from the Social Democratic Party said: ‘This was a democratic cleansing act, and more than necessary.’
Haslach was the last Austrian town still to list Hitler as one of its honorary citizens; in Germany, the town of Bitterfeld in Sachsen-Anhalt still does, the local mayor defending the listing by saying it had to be ‘historically complete’.
And he was only obeying orders ’
Posted: 7th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Snip For A Snip
‘ARGENTINE Cleto Ruiz Diaz is campaigning for free vasectomies – after fathering his 37th child!
Mr Diaz, who lives with three partners and all 37 children in a two-bedroom apartment, said he doesn’t want any more children and wants the local government in the province of Corrientes to allow public hospitals to perform free vasectomies.
‘It is not only the women’s responsibility,’ he said. ‘Men can help too and I don’t want to keep on having children.’
Local MP Gustavo Alvarez is supporting his call for a new law to make free vasectomies available in the province.
Ever heard of condoms – or the words, ‘I’ve got a headache’?’
Posted: 6th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Ewe Turn
‘TE Kuiti is not as well known yet as the Spanish town of Pamplona, but that could be all set to change after the small New Zealand farming town instituted its first Running Of The Sheep.
The event is certainly less dangerous than the Running Of The Bulls in fact, the main problem was trying to get the 2,000 ewes to all head in the right direction.
Instead of seeking cover, the towns 4,374 inhabitants spent most of the time rounding up the stray flock as the event quickly descended into chaos.
But organiser John Grainger said the towns population were delighted.
‘We all live off the sheep’s back here,’ said Grainger. ‘We want to emphasise that sheep are the backbone of the economy.”
Posted: 5th, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Seeing Red
‘REFEREES are never going to be the most popular men in football, but they dont need to go out of their way to make themselves look ridiculous as the man in charge of the Unibond Cheshire Senior Cup Final did.
He sent off Witton Albion skipper Brian Pritchard for violent conduct for tackling a male streaker who had disrupted the game.
Reduced to 10 men, Witton went on to lose the tense match against Woodley Sport 2-1 after extra time.
Witton Albion are appealing against the decision, which led to scuffles breaking out among supporters and the police being called.
‘I am proud to be associated with this great club and have emailed the FA disciplinary department, said Witton club secretary Phil Chadwick.
‘I felt it right to make the FA aware of several facts that probably the match officials were not aware of. I must not divulge more at this stage. At the moment I feel like jacking in football altogether.”
Posted: 2nd, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Karl On His Todd
‘SPRING is here and the residents of Weatherfield are getting frisky. Mike Baldwin and Penny King are leaping in and out of bed like Premiership footballers, Shellys dating her mothers ex and Todds about to discover just how accommodating the NHS can be.
‘I want to get into your Todd’s pants’ |
Nurse Karl and Todd have been getting closer and closer: spending every evening in the pub bonding. Sarahs so possessive and demanding, slurred Todd in an altogether untruthful way as they staggered home from the pub.
Todd dropped his keys and as the pair bent down to pick them up they almost brushed lips, leaving a confused Todd to rush off home and Karl smirking in the alleyway.
Karl came into work the next day sporting a black eye that his boyfriend had given him. He accused me of fancyin someone at work, Karl told Todd. And do you? stammered Todd. What do you think? Karl replied.
Sarah Lou, completely unaware of whats been going on, invited Karl to stay with them. We can all squeeze in together, she innocently told Karl as he chocked on his pint.
The very next morning, Karl had managed to get into Todds pants, when he cheekily told Sarah Lou that he didnt have any clean and could he borrow some of Todds.
Karl will be getting into more than Todds pants soon, however, as next week the pair go out and Todd comes out. Lets hope Sarah Lou can get a refund on those wedding invites.
Elsewhere on The Street, Ashley and nanny Claire have finally made it into bed too, but not before a few false starts. Claire was convinced that Ashley didnt fancy her as he had yet to pounce on her, so she went to Maria for advice (well if theres anyone who knows about getting mens trousers off, its her).
Maria decided to dress Claire as a cheap prostitute (wonder if they raided Liz or Cillas wardrobe?), a look which Ashley found more terrifying than appealing. You look different, he squeaked before taking refuge behind the sofa.
Although Claires war paint and mini skirt may have been removed now, shes still retained some of that battleaxe aura. Upon spotting Penny in the street, she went out to give her a piece of her mind.
Claire is the only person who isnt falling of Penny and Mikes lies about their relationship being purely professional (unless they mean professional in the Cynthia Payne capacity).
Ashley spotted Mike leaving Pennys house at 11 oclock at night and giving her a kiss on the doorstep. Fred confronted Mike but the little Cockney knicker-maker managed to persuade Fred that it was purely innocent.
Oh that! he scoffed. I was dropping some tax files round, as you do at 11 oclock at night. Poor Fred is still convinced that Penny is about to accept his marriage proposal and is already planning a June wedding.
Ive got your number lady, Claire told Penny, Im not going to let you take Fred for a ride, she continued. Poor Fred, I imagine thats precisely what he was hoping for.’
Posted: 2nd, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Bogey Man
‘PICKING your nose and eating it may be considered disgusting, but it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to top Austrian lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger.
He said society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up, arguing that people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.
With the finger you can get to places you just can’t reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner, he said. ‘And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body’s immune system.
‘Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.
‘Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free.”
Posted: 1st, April 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Poor Whore
‘IT seems that not even prostitutes can escape the march of consumer protection legislation with a Romanian man lodging an official complaint after accusing a street girl of ‘not doing her best’.
Adrian Ionut Craciunoiu is distinctly miffed that he paid in advance but was not satisfied with the girls performance.
‘She didn’t do her best and even scratched me because she missed some of her teeth, he said.
‘I will go to the legal doctor and ask for a medical bulletin which I’ll attach to my cause. I was honest with her and paid my debts, but what did I get? Bad services and even lesions.’
Ion Tudor, head of the local office in Gorj, said: ‘This case is a little bit difficult because prostitution is illegal in Romania. But I am going to talk to the police and look for a way to solve it.”
Posted: 31st, March 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Electra-fying
‘IF Carmen Electra didnt just think about sex every 20 seconds but actually did it with that kind of frequency, she would probably quickly become one of the most intelligent women in the world.
The most intelligent woman in the world? |
Research by Werner Habermehl, from the Hamburg Medical Research Institute, says that regular sex promotes intelligence.
‘Sex makes you more intelligent in that experiences are collected that can be used later on in areas of life not linked to sex,’ said Habermehl, adding that that the injection of endorphins and serotonin from an orgasm strengthened self-confidence – giving the body a mental as well as physical work out.’
Posted: 30th, March 2004 | In: Strange But True | Comment