Tabloids Category
The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.
Royal Family Member ‘Stars In Sex And Drugs Movie’
“ROYAL in ‘sex and cocaine blackmail video plot’,” says the Mail.
Can it be that the campaign to make the Royal Family seem normal involves one of their number blackmailing a person or persons in order to gain sex and drugs?
They sit at the football; they embrace celebrity; they might be sent to the front line. The royals insist they move with the times. They are just like the rest of us. They make home movies. They turn to crime.
But our fears are ungrounded. It is the royal who is the alleged victim. It is they who called in police after allegedly being approached by two men back in August. The alleged felons demanded £50,000 not to publicise a video which they claimed showed the Royal engaged in a sex act.
The Mail informs us: “It is alleged he then said that he had a videotape showing an aide giving someone – who he suggested was the Royal – oral sex.”
Indeed, dear reader. Might it be that this sex tape is not such bad news; it enables the royals to move a step closer to solving the paradox – they rule by divine right but are just like the rest of us.
Broadcast and be damned. And if it is shaped like a unicorn, so much the better…
Posted: 28th, October 2007 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (22)
Boris Johnson: Petronella Wyatt Dares To Meet…
“IN bed with ‘ze world’s sexiest chef’ Jean Christophe Novelli,” writes the Mail. “Champagne, come-hither eyes and that knee-weakening accent. Could any girl resist the oh-so dishy Jean Christophe Novelli? The Mail’s Petronella Wyatt does her best – but with the bed already made up, her virtue is at stake.”
Is this the same Petronella Wyatt, daughter of the late Lord Wyatt, who had a four-year affair with married Boris Johnson?
Posted: 27th, October 2007 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Beckham Watch: Today Victoria Is…
VICTORIA Beckham is “waisted in LA”. The Sun’s scoop is that Vicky is wearing a waistcoat…in Los Angeles. What with the fires and all. “Posh, 33, flew into Los Angeles airport from Japan in the sleeveless top.” We have every reason to believe Her Poshness wore her oputfit in Japan, too. Reports to follow…
Posted: 27th, October 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3)
Take That Member Splits: The Agony
YOUR sympathies are directed to the Sun sensational front-page news story: “TAKE THAT’s HOWARD DONALD was in hospital last night with a collapsed lung after doing the splits on stage.”
No, a lung? Mr Donaldson is 39… Our thoughts are with him.
Posted: 27th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (7)
School Teaches Immigrants How Stupid Britain’s Are
A SUCCESS in the purge on immigrants in the Sun where “brainbox” Aleksander Kucharski is on his way back to Poland. Says the 16-year-old: “In Poland I only make average marks in maths.
“Here teachers says I am a genius. It shows a lot about England’s education system.”
It sure does. The students of Thomas More RC High School in North Shields are thicker than custard – “The boys were childish and the girls only talked about shopping.”
Of course, with the immigrant now dispatched, the students return to their Migration Watch module for the Gifted & Patriotic enouraged by success…
Posted: 26th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (11)
California Burning: The Sun Is Within The Inferno
“SUN WRITER INSIDE CALIFORNIA INFERNO”.
Reports Sun girl Emily of Arc, it’s hot! “This is Armageddon”. Indeed, “Arm-ageddon outta here,” say the locals in one voice.
But Emily journeys within the flames. So fearless is Emily that she makes her mission dressed in manmade fibres. “I wince,” says Emily as she turns towards the “wall of heat”.
It’s hot. “It stings my face and coats the inside of my lungs.” Her eyes are “streaming”. The sun sets with an “eerie glow”. There is a “creepy silence”.
And it is hot…
Posted: 26th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (4)
Tortured Amy Winehouse Is No Troubled Britney
AMY Winehouse is “Troubled” in the Mirror. In the Star, she is “Tortured”. Says Winehouse:
“I really thought I was on the way out. My husband Blake saved my life, brought me to hospital.” Winehouse was on a composite blend of heroin, ketamine, cocaine and ecstasy.
“Often I don’t know what I do. Then the next day the memory returns. Blake told me later what had happened. And then I am engulfed in shame.” For shame.
But the real issue is at hand. A problem has been solved. Winehouse cannot be “Troubled” for that is the lot of Britney Spears, who is performing under the headline billing “Troubled Britney”. Winehouse should be Tortured.
And for “Tortured Amy Winehouse” we thank the Star…
Posted: 26th, October 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (18)
Britney Spears Carrie’s On With Her New Guy
DID Britney Spears start the fires in Malibu? Do we fear the worst on reading the Star’s headline: “I’M GONNA SET FIRE TO KEVIN”?
Is this a remake of Carrie that went wrong? Went right?
“Remember, remember, the firth of November,” says the Star, holding a bacon upon the date Britney Spears plans to torch her ex-lover.
It is said that Spears plans a Bonfire Night party at her home and is urging her “fellow bunny-boilers” to produce effigies of their former flames to toss upon the pyre.
So it’s goodbye, K-Ferret. Goodbye Justin Timberlake. And goodbye Prince Andrew. Sarah Ferguson is on the phone. Says she: “I’d love to talk to Brit. I feel sorry for her. I want to tell her, it’s all okay. We could be friends.”
Britney could nestle into her dirty pillows…
Posted: 26th, October 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Princess Diana’s Last Line Contest
PRINCESS Diana is wearing pearl-drop earrings on the cover of the Express. She is illustrated by the headline: “DIANA – mystery of the elegant tall man in death tunnel.”
Inside and it’s the: “Riddle of the tall and elegant man.”
Jacques Morel is addressing the inquest. Yesterday we learnt that Morel had once seen a moustachioed, burly man wearing cowboy boots. Today Morel sees a “tall, elegant man”.
Morel sees more men than Princess Diana ever did.
“The people have to know the truth,” says Morel. “The real truth. People have the right to know and the children of Princess Diana have the right to know.” All five of them. (Read about that in my new book Diana On Althorp Island.)
Morel speaks, and makes ready to write his book. And the Mail sees a Damien Dalby take the stand. He says Diana was trying to speak. “Why didn’t they ask Evans,” she mumbles.”
No, not really. Or maybe… For now, we hear that as Diana lay broken in the car she uttered: “Oh my God, oh my God.”
These are Diana’s “last words as she lay dying in wreckage of her car”.
Sober. But can it be? And will it be allowed to be? What of a better last line, such as “Am I dying or is this my birthday?”, “I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace”, and “Don’t let poor Nelly starve”?
If there is to be an official last utterance, make it a memorable one, something proud and more poignant than the noise made by Rachel from Friends gasping at a stain on her pencil skirt.
Suggestions for fitting last lines, if you please…
Posted: 26th, October 2007 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (33)
Survey Of The Day: Kelly Brooke On Top
WAYS to get a picture of Kelly Brooke into the newspapers: No. 32: a survey. The Star publishes the “Top 10 girls men think are easy”. Cough:
1. Kelly
2. Tanya
3. Debs/Debbie
4. Becky
5. Steph
6. Michelle
7. Tina
8. Lisa
9. Carly
10. Nicky
Yes, Kelly, as in Kelly Brooke, and Kelly Osbourne.
Guess which one is on the beach in her bikini..?
Posted: 26th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)
Princess Diana Inquest Day 3647 AD (After Diana): Morel’s Chestnut
“PRINCESS Diana and Dodi Fayed were killed by the secret service – because a man in cowboy boots was in the Paris tunnel when they died.”
“DI COWBOY PLOT,” says the Sun’s headline.
Jacques Morel is addressing the High Court. (Wait your turn; they’ll get to you.)
Morel is a music writer. He has yet to pen a tune about Diana, but let us not rule it out. For now he plans only a book. The Princess inspires each of us in different ways, some write books, some write police reports, some write Daily Express headlines.
For an idea what shape the libretto ‘One Saint In Three Acts’ may take, Mr Morel describes seeing a man stood some place unspecified wearing cowboy boots. On his feet. The man is “about 30, solid build, with a moustache… a bit like a beer drinker in Ireland.”
Mr Morel distinctly recalls this man because he stood on his boots. We have not visited many Irish clubs and pubs and cannot say for certain if the foot stand is an approved move, a summons to gentlemanly action in the conveniences. Mr Morel’s view of the typical Irishman has perhaps been shaped news of Dublin’s Rainbow Café Lounge, Pogue Mahone Saunal” and the Up For The Craic cabaret show.
Mr Morel is French…
Posted: 25th, October 2007 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Pete Doherty And Kate Moss No Longer Under Supervision
PETE Doherty is on the moist end of a “dodgy roll-up”; Kate Moss is “lounging” on the beach and “wearing shades”.
“Same as it ever was..” says the Mirror; words that beg the question: So how is it news?
If you want news, then you’d best turn to the Sun, where Kate Moss is giving her boyfriend Jamie Hince, 39, the “cold shoulder”. (Yes, Jamie, the name mothers give the little boys they never want to grow up.) Hince is 39.
Says an onlooker: “Kate’s body language was stiff.”
And Pete? “Doherty…tested negative,” says the caption beneath a shot of Doherty smoking a cigarette. District Judge Jane McIvor has revoked the final two years of Doherty’s supervision programme. She is convinced Doherty is following treatment. “You must be pleased,” she offers Doherty. “Yeah, I’m quite proud,” says he.
Of course, with no supervision order we may find it hard to spot Pete in the newspapers. We who have followed his Courtroom Tour (“Hello, Thames Magistrates’ Court!”) will be at a loose end on a wet Wednesday afternoon.
Of course, Doherty will remain a feature of the music organs, where he is revered his memorable tunes…
The Fires Of Malibu: Celebrity Roll Call
THE fires of Malibu are raging. “EXODUS,” screams the Mail’s front-page headline.
“1 million flee their homes as firestorms rage out of control across California.”
The fire alarm is ringing. The celebrities are in a parking lot in a Hollywood studio:
Aniston, Jennifer (Mail, Express)
Berry, Halle (Sun)
Brosnan, Pierce (Express)
Cameron, James (Mail)
Cher (Mail, Express)
Gere, Richard (Express)
Gibson, Mel (Mail, Express)
Goldberg, Whoopi (Express)
Hanks, Tom (Mail, Express)
Hilton, Paris (Express)
Kramer, Kelsey (Mail)
Newton-John, Olivia (Mail, Express)
Presley, Elvis (Sun)
Redford, Robert (Express)
Seymour, Jane (Mail)
Sting (Express)
Missing presumed in spa: Spears, Britney; Anderson, Pamlea; Cox, Courteney and a host of hot stars…
Posted: 25th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)
Headline Of The Day: Keith Richards Is…
KEITH Richards in the Daily Express. The headline: “Fears for Rolling Stone Keith after he slurs speech.” Much sensation…
Posted: 25th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (6)
Halle Berry Blames It On The Jews
THE celebrity denial is most often the work of the star’s assistant. But Halle Berry is on Jay Leno’s TV show, broadcast across America.
Her denial must be of her own work. A racial slur has been made and she needs to work fast. The cameras are rolling, a studio audience waiting. But first the back story – all of Hollywood is built on a story.
As the Mail, notes, Berry is sat on the sofa looking at pictures of herself that have been altered by what is termed computer wizardry. They are her props. A similar effect can be produced by looking at your face reflected in the back of a soup spoon.
Says Berry: “Here’s where I look like my Jewish cousin.” Berry does not have a Jewish cousin. But she has black blood and is racially aware. It was she who said of conversations with her white mother: “Her mother taught her not to discriminate because we’re all part of the same race: the human race…. After having many talks with her mother about the issue, she reinforced what she had always taught her.”
No one laughed at Halle’s comment. Says Leno: “I’m glad you said that and not me.”
“Oh God,” say Berry, blaspheming and so alienating another key demographic. “Have I just ruined my career?”
Halle cannot deny outright. But she can reconstruct the scene to shed new light on her error. The PR machine kicks into gear. She draws our attention to “one of my Jewish friends”. It was one of Halle’s Jewish friends – of which there are surely many – who looked at the picture and said: “That could be your Jewish cousin.”
Berry’s guilt is now at a lower level. “I guess it was fresh in my mind and it just came out of my mouth,” she explains. “But I didn’t mean to offend anybody.” And how can she have offended Jews when the joke was their idea?
We should not take her comment the wrong way. But Berry is sensitive. She wants to protect us from the real bigots out there, of which her many Jewish friends could doubtless tell her of.
Says she: “After the show I realised it could be seen as offensive so asked Jay to take it out.” So when aired, the word Jewish was blanked, thus sparing the feeling of Jews and anti-race campaigners, and not given the anti-Semites and racists a reason to laugh.
The record is set straight…
Posted: 25th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (7)
A Gay Spell: Harry Potter’s Mentor Dumbledore Exposed
NEWS that Harry Potter’s mentor Dumbledore is gay has sent shockwaves through adult literacy classes across the land. That the fictional headmaster of fictional school of fictional nerds is homosexual made our blood run cold and then boil.
We wondered how long it would be before a real headmaster at a real school was outted by a writer in a copycat incident. Would headmasters now turn gay to be trendy?
And now we learn of Paul Croft. Mr Croft is pictured in the Sun exposing his flesh to readers. Mr Paul is not a headmaster. He exposes only his back.
Mr Croft is not gay, although you may think he is. And on his back is a 2ft tattoo of the pink wand, Dumbledore. And – shock of shocks – the image is supported by the names of Mr Croft’s five children.
The Sun says Mr Croft is now the “butt” of jokes about his sexuality. “It’s been terrible,” says he. “I’ve always liked Dumbledore – just not in that way.” At work, things are hard. “The were wisecracks [no pun intended] about ‘Watch your backs, lads. Someone asked me if I was planning to get a tattoo of Graham Norton. I thought, ‘Why me?’” Well, maybe it was because you got a tattoo of a children’s character on your back, Mr Croft.
Next time, we advise children’s book enthusiasts to stick to a more savoury image, like Captain Pugwash, Willy Wonka or The Very Hungry Caterpiller…
Posted: 24th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (12)
Princess Diana IS Dead…Hurry Up
A RAISED voice at the Pricness Diana Inquest: “’SHE’S DEAD HURRY UP…’”
No rush, you might suppose. We’ve had ten years to catch up with events on that fate-filled night in Paris. Another decade won’t matter. We need to gather all the evidence. Hear all views. We need to be certain.
And on the Express: “Diana inquest hears sensational evidence.” Diana is not smiling today. Her teeth are bared and she wears generous pearl earrings with matching choker. As Anorak readers know, Diana’s expression is changeable, a barometer that reflects the Express’s news within.
Inside, Diana is smiling once more. Says the paper: “Photographer at Diana crash yelled to partner ‘She’s dead, hurry up’.”
Yannick Chenna is a motorist at the scene. He sees he saw photographer Romauld Rat get off a mortobike and open the car door. Rat runs to his partner and offers the command “She’s is dead, hurry up.
American tourist Brian Anderson is now talking. He sees a “significant flash of light”.
But it fades too quickly. And we continue to look for the truth…
Pic: The Spine – Click the picture for the full, er, picture
Posted: 24th, October 2007 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Britney Spears Shorts Spark Interest In Malibu
“TROUBLED Britney Spears is in the Mirror. She’s wearing clothes. Again. Troubled Britney is sporting a pair of green and yellow tartan shorts that are seemingly being chewed by her thighs in readiness for ingestion.
But though the Mirror is fearless in its dedication to relay each of Troubled Britney’s outfits to the watching world, it fails in one key area: are the shorts flame retardant?
With no label showing, we are left to wonder. And worry. As the Mail notes, the Malibu fires have impacted on Troubled Britney’s life. “I’m real scared,” says she. “I don’t think it touched my house.”
But if it is has, then where will Troubled Britney go? News in the Mail is that her other home at The Promises rehab centre has been evacuated.
The fires are raging. And Troubled Britney is in the news. And we look once more at those short and wonder if the chaffing of fabric on thigh has produced a spark not only of interest.
Is there really no such thing as bad publicity..?
Pic: 14
Posted: 24th, October 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1)
The Fall Guys: Celebrity Survivor In Malibu
“MALIBU MELTS,” screams the Sun. “PARADISE IN FLAMES,” announces the Mirror.”
THE COAST IS TOAST,” says the cover of a DVD starring Tommy Lee Jones as man trying to plug a Volcano with his thumb and bridled grit.
But this is real. Malibu is alight. The sky is boiling. As Chris Ayres writes in the Times: “Celebrities were running screaming from their blazing mansions. And the AL Goreans were on TV again, spreading the word about the end of the world.”
Blame the porn industry, air conditioning and the Jews; whatever the reason, Malibu is alight. It’s not the trailer for a new disaster film. This is real.
As the Mirror notes, that really is Cher’s house in the line of fire. Will it survive? Will Cher’s face hold up in so much heat?
Will the homes of Adam Sandler, Sting, Pamela Anderson, Mel Gibson, Jane Seymour, Tom Hanks, Olivia Newton-John, Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston last out? Val Kilmer, says the Telegraph. Jim Carrey. The Sun produces Sean Penn, Pierce Brosnan and Barbra Streisand.
The Mirror has an overhead view of the area and the homes mapped out. We look. We think. And Anorak asks the burning question: “Who gets saved first?”
And we throw in Richard Gere, Robert Redford and Diana Ross.
“It’s a tragic time for California,” says State Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Who advocates an alphabetical approach to life saving, starting with A for Arnold…
Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4)
The Judge Aged 10 And Other Classroom Bullies
“HERE COMES THE JUDGE, AGED TEN,” announces the Mail on its front page.
Young Jeffries will “deal with tearaways guilty of spraying graffiti, vandalism, anti-social behaviour and under-age drinking”. It’s termed the “peer panel” experiment, and it is a terrific idea.
The one drawback is that the ten-year-old who metes out instant justice is most often called a bully. But the scheme surely hinges upon the notion that the mind is stronger than Gripper’s Chinese Burn when it comes to extracting pocket money with menaces.
Although on further examination, the Mail reveals that the judge is older than the headline 10 years – the so-called “peer advocate” is actually aged 15 and hopes to put on a growth spurt any moment soon. He will not sit in a high chair (surely chair on high) but join all parties in around a “waist-high” (neck-high) circular wooden railing in the centre of the Restorative Justice Centre, Preston.
As reported, the dispenser of justice will have the power to force the villains to repay repatriations to the victim.
But adult voices are being raised. “Children do not have the balance to make a judicial decision,” says John Fassenfelt, of the Magistrates’ Association, that collective of dentists and other balanced individuals in the community.
“Justice is more than mere child’s play,” says the Mail’s comment. Indeed. The very real worry is that given the state of the nation’s youth (see stories like “Killer Kids”, “Death Classroom” and “Guns For Barbie”), the young judiciaries will operate a draconian-style system with instant punishments and summary justice.
And what then would the Mail make of it all?
Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (12)
David Gest On Liza Minnelli And Life As Arsenal’s Mascot
SAYS walking, talking, camping waxwork David Gest on life with his ex-wife Liza Minnelli: “You see I had terrible concussion from when I was in England and Liza was drunk.
“I’d picked her up and lifted her over my head, and because she’s so violent when she’s drunk, she hit the back of my head, bang, bang, 20 times. I pulled her down and she hit me again 20 times. (Does she have rhythm?)
“Then four weeks later in Hawaii, my head exploded.”
Has Gest recovered? “Did you know I’m kind of an unofficial mascot at Arsenal?” he tells the Daily Sport. “I love hearing the fans screaming, ‘Gesty! Go, Gesty!”
That’s what being hit 40 times in the head by a actress/singer does for you. Pass the face plugs…
Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)
Let’s Play Immigration Bingo
IT’S Immigration Bingo in the tabloids.
The papers have seen a report by Cambridge University professor Robert Rowthorn (heritage on application) who says by the year 2074 the UK’s population will have swelled to an impressive 81million.
The Express says fertility rates, immigration and the Rogarians (“numbers from Romania and Bulgarian are set to grow”) will all make the nation greater yet.
This good news for property prices and occupancy rates invites the Daily Express poll du jour: “Is Britain letting in too many migrants?” Chances are high of a perfect 100 per cent vote to the negative.
But what of the numbers? Eyes down for full houses:
- 4.7: The fertility rate for Pakistani women (Express)
- 21m: The Mail leads with “DO WE HAVE ROOM FOR 21M MORE?”
- 80m: “Population to soar past 80m,” says the Mail above news of Saturday’s lottery results
- 75: The population will be “at least this high” within 40 years
- 15m: The Sun says “15million more people in Britain”
- 2: This is like building “two new cities the same size as London” – fantastic. Imagine the culture, the art, the music! Small wonder the papers are excited…
The only downside comes in the Independent, which counters the upbeat mood to lead with: “Asylum-seekers ‘are left to starve’”. Headlines follow: “It was like being animal”; “I was harassed and abused”; “a blemish on our record of providing sanctuary.”
But don’t be put off. Read the tabloid headlines. Come one and come all. And bring some rent money…
Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)
When Sharon Osbourne Attacks
“DANNII was crying so badly she had to have her make-up re-done three times,” reports the Sun.
A base of moisturiser, followed by a concealer under his eyes, then something to lift the eyes and let them shine. And a topcoat of blusher.
Being a judge on the X Factor TV show takes time and dedication. The only wonder is that media-exposed Danni has not had her make-up tattooed on, or at least applied from a tin of weatherproof Ronseal.
If only she had opted for the hard layer of mahogany-hued varnish, Dannii’s face would not have cracked under the onslaught from her fellow judge Sharon Osbourne.
As it is she was shattered. “Dannii tried to keep calm,” says a source, “but there’s not much you can do when Sharon is at full throttle.”
The word throttle suggests a course of action, but being on the receiving end of an Osbourne hissy fit is makes it hard to focus. And then there is the thorny issue of working out where Sharon’s neck begins and ends.
“Fuck off, I’ll say what I fucking want,” says Sharon, working out that in the thrall of so much CCTV, when everyone is a potential celebrity, she needs to keep on top of her game, remind people just why she is famous.
But Sharon’s catchphrase “fuck off” masks a plan to return, to “fuck on”. As the Mirror’s front page announces: “I’ll be back.”
And anyone who says she won’t be can “fuck off” and take it up with the make-up girl….
Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5)
Schillings Update: On Alisher Usmanov, Peter Serafinowizc And Online PR
SCHILLINGS update on Alisher Usmanov and PR.
“BBC star’s grandfather faced Nazi war crimes trial,” announces the Mail.
“Our client’s grandfather died before he was able to demonstrate that there was no truth in the allegations,” says the bloggers’ friend at law firm Schillings.
This is not an episode of the BBC’s Who Do You Think You Are? show, in which celebs discover this ancestry, viewers looking on as comic Peter Serafinowicz realises that he and Natasha Kaplinsky’s family have met before in less starry circumstances.
The Mail notes that the elder and now dead Szymon Serafinowizc appeared at the Old Bailey in 1997 accused of “enthusiastically” helping eradicate the 3,000-strong Jewish population around the capital of Minsk. He was a police chief in his native Belarus when it was occupied by the Nazis. The case was dropped because he was unfit to stand trial.
And now his grandson, Peter Serafinowizc is being approached by the Mail on Sunday. The paper produces a quote from Peter on his TV roles: “I prefer the evil ones because I’m quite evil in real life, so it’s not much effort.”
But the story is not all about the Mail’s sensationalism, nor is it about Peter Serafinowicz, if at all. The Mail asks the question and the comedian contacts Schillings.
“Schillings insisted that the allegations against Serafinowicz’s grandfather were a private matter under the Human Rights Act. It demanded that the paper gave an undertaking never to publish the comedian’s connection to the war crimes case,” notes the paper.
The Mail on Sunday refused. Schillings said it would “advise Serafinowicz to go to a High Court judge to secure an emergency injunction banning publication of the story”.
It appears that he did not take the advice, correctly assessing that minimal fuss would lead to minimal impact.
And Schillings? Having advised Alisher Usmanov to come down hard on Craig Murray (see here), Schillings shows how much it has learned about the modern media by, as reported, inviting a wholly innocent man to make a song and a dance about his dead grandfather.
That would put an end to the story, wouldn’t it?
Posted: 21st, October 2007 | In: Online-PR, Tabloids | Comments (6)
Princess Beatrice Rocks Fashion: This Year’s Sarah Ferguson
THE Daily Mail is at the Fashion Rocks do; or at least sat outside in a bottle green Rover 75 clacking its marmalade coated tongue and taking pictures of the young and the tarty for illustrative purposes.
While the prints are being processed in its home dark room under the stair, the paper cocks an ear toward Princess Beatrice and hears her say: “I love it but I keep on having to lift it off the floor and pull the bodice up.”
The Mail stares. The pictures are ready. And readers get to see Princess Beatrice “revealing rather more décolletage than royal protocol might allow”.
Keen-eyed readers who can stand to look may wonder if this is Princess Beatrice or her mother, Sarah Ferguson, whose wont it is to hang out with her best friend/daughter while dressed in similar if not altogether complementary fashions.
To confess, we cannot be sure. The more we look the less we know. Is it Beatrice? Or is it Sarah? Your votes on the matter, if you please…
Posted: 20th, October 2007 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (18)
