Tabloids Category
The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.
Tour De Force: Britain Survives Al-Qaeda’s Rag Week For Live Earth
NOW the bombs have not gone off, Britain can rejoice. And that means carrying on and not giving in. (Pic: The Spine)
As the Sun says “BRITONS DEFIANT”.
We’ve seen off bigger and uglier foe than anything Al-Qaeda’s Rag Week can muster.
As the paper says: “Hundreds of thousands of Brits will defy the terror this weekend in a…”
Well, we British love quizzes. So can you guess what comes next? Is it:
a) …ten-minute silence
b) …march to Whitehall
c) … jumble sale?
All are right. Britain is a tolerant society that makes few judgements. Choice is all.
But the correct answer is d: Britons will thumb their noses at terror in “a two-day sport and music bonanza”.
We will cheer on the British Grand Prix. We will hoot and holler for Live Earth. And we will watch with concerned interest as men in skin-tight clothes, shaved legs and wraparound sunglasses make their way thought London. No, not Gay Pride (that was last week), this is The start of the Tour De France.
And what could make us more proud to be British than that?
Allez, Les Britishers. Encore! Honi soit qui mal y pense!
C’est la vie! Jeux Sans Frontières…
P Diddy Dodi And Sienna Miller’s Princess Diana
“SIENNA and the Diana concert star,” says the Mail’s front page. Sienna is professional girlfriend Sienna Miller. The concert star is Ken Dodd renegade P Diddy. And Diana is living on the sixth floor at Harvey Nichols.
And the story is that Sienna Miller has been “blamed” for the break of American rapper P Diddy’s long-term relationship with model Kim Porter, the mother of his three children.
Back in January, the Mirror saw Diddy man and Sienna go out for the second time in a month. After an all-nighter, Sienna emerged from Diddy’s £400,000 Mercedes at 9am the next morning. And just minutes later, Diddy followed her into her hotel. The Sun asked: “So Sienna, Diddy or didn’t he?”
Now we read in the Mail that Sienna and Diddy “spent much of the evening flirting in the VIP area of a London club”. Both had appeared at the Princess Diana funeral rock show.
And there are suggestions that this apparent flirting was just them getting into character for a forthcoming project on Diana’s life. For one blonde see another. For Diddy read Dodi.
And hear a friend of P Dodi tell us that she wants his blonde to spend the summer with him onboard his yacht.
Is love in the air? Is it springtime in Paris?
Posted: 6th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)
Seconds Out For John Smeaton
THE tabloids want a hero. They get John Smeaton. Read about his exploits in John Smeaton Packs A Punch In Glasgow.
John took on the terrorists. And won. Now “brave” airport worker John Smeaton does the heroic thing and insists: “I’m no hero.”
He tells the Sun: “I was only one of a number of people who went to the assistance of the police dealing with the incident.
“I do not regard myself as a hero as I was only doing what other people may have done in similar circumstances.”
And he’d do it again? Well, when he gets back to work, he might. John is off work sick. He is “stressed-out”.
“I don’t know how I feel. It’s been mad,” he says.
“I’m just trying to get on with my life and I’ll probably be back at work in a week or so. To the many, many people who have sent messages of support and their good wishes, I send in return my heartfelt thanks at their generosity.
“These messages are very important to me, much appreciated and will be remembered by me for the rest of my life.”
He’d like to be left alone. No fuss. As his mum Catherine tells us: “All the talk of being a hero is depressing him and he finds it hard to cope. John is flattered by all the things people are saying, but he feels everything has got out of hand.
“He was only doing what other people that day did, which was help the police. When he gave all those television interviews afterwards he was still high from the adrenaline of what happened.
Says his dad Iain: “Well, now he has the lows. We don’t want to appear ungrateful to all the people who have written and said such nice things about John. But he would just like to get back to his normal life now.
They are all so modest. Heroic. The Sun can see where John gets it from.
And it hears the message. The hidden one. As it trills: Yesterday, we launched a campaign to have John and the other heroes of the airport attack officially honoured:
“The Scottish Sun wants our Glasgow airport heroes honoured for their actions. Men like John Smeaton, Michael Kerr and Stephen Clarkson helped the police stop the crazed terrorists in their tracks during Saturday afternoon’s attack. Now we want them officially recognised for their outstanding bravery. By signing our online petition today – you can add your name to our campaign. We’ll make sure our political leaders listen and award the trio the gongs they so richly deserve.”
Let’s get John back on stage. Let’s make him a hero, the working-class boy who did down the white collar bombers.
We’re watching you john as you lay on your sick bed, nerves frayed like an NHS doctor’s charred skin. You’ll be back at work soon enough. We’re counting the days. Only don’t take too long, John, the Sun wouldn’t want to think you’re shirking.
We urge you to get tune with that other great hero of the skies, Douglas Bader. Reach for the skies, John. The press will take you up. And drop you down with a bump…
Posted: 5th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5)
Forgetting And Remembering Alan Johnston
DO we forget because we spend so long remembering?
Good news indeed that Alan Johnson has been freed. “After 114 terrifying days in captivity, Alan Johnston’s ordeal – in his own words,” says the Mail’s front page.
The words, as you’d expect from a trained BBC journalist, are based on fact with little fanfare. The personable Johnson shows and does not tell. He does not speculate on the deal that won his freedom and how the terrorist organisation Hamas will seek legitimacy from it.
What does he want to do know he is free? “Just the simplest things,” says Johnson. “Walking through any door, going down the street, seeing friends and family, people you love, you want to do it all at one go. You want to read books again, you want to sit in the sun and eat and speak.”
You want to do the things we take as normal. You want to do the things the nihilists who seek to bomb us want to kill. “TEA AT LAST,” says the Sun and Mirror’s front pages, words that sum up the story of Johnson’s Britishness.
We are remembering Johnson. Chances are the BBC will remember him in hour-long special. Had he perished in jail and his prison, the remembering could have gone on into a silence that lasted minutes.
But he is alive. And free. And in the Mail the BBC’s John Humphreys remembers him: “In an age obsessed with celebrity, my friend Alan is a true hero of our time.”
Humphreys’ words are equipped with a picture of the BBC radio and TV host. Humphreys is friends with Johnson; Johnston the hero. Humphreys know him. And here is Humphreys to tell us all about the real Johnson he knows.
As Hamas leader Ismail Haniya covers Johnson in badges and medals and drapes him in a sash in the colours of the Palestinian flag, Humphreys gives him an official BBC tie. He stands alongside Johnson and says: “He is so modest. Don’t look at me. Look at him. See how modest he is. Let me tell you how modest he is.” Humphreys’ T-shirt says “I’m with modest”.
But have we forgotten?
“FORGOTTEN,” says the Mail’s front page. “30,000 homeless. Devastation, looting and threat of disease.” No, not Gaza. Parts of Yorkshire, the Midlands and Lincolnshire. Flooded.
Or have we forgotten the other hostages, the ones whose faces do not adorn the BBC’s walls. The ones who are not journalists and so less able to trigger support and coverage form the media?
The “forgotten hostages,” says the Times’ front page. Five Britons have been kidnapped in Baghdad. Four security guards and a computer consultant.”
But there are no pictures of them.
Does Johnston have any words for them? “I so much hope they have a day like mine,” says he. And: “Sometimes things don’t work out, but in my case they did.”
Will the BBC help? Will the public broadcaster that helped one of its own by rising his profile produce images of these missing five? And will their captors get away with it, just as the Army of Islam, the group that kidnapped Johnson have done, walking free and armed in Gaza?
In the rush to remember will we forget?
Kelvin MacKenzie On Car Bombers Taking The Piss
“I LOVE the smell of burning terrorist in the morning,” says Kelvin MacKenzie in the Sun.
“I couldn’t understand for the life of me why that rather decent chap at Glasgow Airport bothered to try to put out the flames of the terrorist who was roasting nicely.”
Mackenzie, who when editor of the Sun sanctioned the headline “GOTCHA!” as the General Belgrano went down with 323 Argentine sailors in the Falkands War. In rich tabloidese, Mackenzie would not have pissed on the terrorists had he seen them on fire.
“Dr Khalid wanted to meet Allah,” says MacKenzie. “And I wanted him to go as well.”
Many will nod to MacKenzie’s words.
These jihadists profess to be spurned to commit mass murder by action in the Middle East, Chechnya, Guantanamo Bay and whatever other stock reasons they can trot out but they care only for themselves.
What world do they leave behind after incinerating nightclub goers and holidaymakers? A better one? Not a better one for their fellow Muslims. Not a more open one. They just destroy a world they want no part of?
The man with the hose put Dr Khalid out is because he supports society and takes no delight in watching a man burn to death before his eyes. He is not a nihilist, a jihadist, an Islamicist with a hatred for society.
The bombers targeted an airport and a night club, places where Britons go for fun and holiday. Dr Khalid does not like fun. He does not care for budget flights to the sun.
He cares for himself only.
Caption the picture. (There might be a prize for the best one.)
Posted: 5th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (10)
Doctors Of Death: Terrorism And The DIY NHS
AS you rush out get private health care or do-it-yourself cover, shunning the NHS and its killer doctors for homemade scalpels fashioned from kitchen equipment and gardening tools, the Express orders: “FIND THE DOCTORS OF DEATH.” (Pic: The Spine)
“How many more terror cells in the NHS?” it asks. No answer is given. But it is thought there could be more, or not.
And this is to assume that brain surgeon Mohamed Asha, 26, is guilty of plotting to kill and maim.
Pictured with not a bomb but a small boy strapped to his chest, the Sun says “DR EVIL” and his lab technician wife Marwah had their baby on the NHS.
They survived the ordeal. And you can too.
Your chances of coming out of hospital alive are increased if the medic armed with rusty nail and flame thrower has taken the Hippocratic Oath or the new international Code of Medial Ethics.
The Express notes some of the pledges the doctors must make:
- I will maintain the utmost respect for human life
- I will maintain by all means in my power, the honour and the noble tradition of my profession
- I will practise my profession with conscience and dignity
- I will work at weekends for double time and nights for triple pay. In case of emergency leave a message after the beep
But the vow may not be enough, and not enough to undo another vow made to what strands for the would-be killers god.
And then there’s the fact that the bomb kit is easier and cheaper to come by then medicines.
The Mirror gives the world “THE B&Q BOMBERS”. These terrorists should not be confused with the “FLOUR BOMBERS”, the “WHITE WATER BOMBERS” and the “CARPET BOMBERS”.
Bombers fall under many headings but their ends are similar.
The news is that the gang behind the failed London bombs and the attack on Glasgow Airport bought their gas cylinders at B&Q, the DIY store.
“We have strict procedures,” says a spokesman for B&Q. Anyone buying a gas canister must give their name.
It is not known if the failed bombers gave real or false identities, although given the success of their operation, it is likely the B&Q register includes the cunning aliases Osama bin Laden, The Emir and Shergar…
Posted: 4th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)
Bottoms Up For Paris Hilton’s Rubbish
DO you buy any of this Paris Hilton rubbish?
No, not the stories of her saving mankind in her jail-styled, eco-friendly iPad, finding God in of all things a book and being the embodiment of the message that money is not the key to happinesss, although if you have enough money you can always have a key made.
We talk of the rubbish, the things that fill the Paris Hilton bin. As the Sun reports over two pages, items taken from Paris’s bucket have been sold on eBay.
Paris Hilton, a woman who wrote the top-shelf magazine on celebrity, threw away a DVD of her own film Bottoms Up, medical prescriptions, old hair extensions and items deemed “too personal for auction”.
Things already snapped up include: toothbrush (£150), two empty envelopes addressed to her jail (£255), a Coke can (£30), an autographed postcard (£30) and fan mail (£20).
The script US TV presenter Mika Brzezinski tore up because her producer had put Paris at the top of the bulletin has yet to reach the market. Or be signed…
Pic: 14
Posted: 4th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)
Gordon Brown Offers Union Support To Terrorised And Flagging Britain
“FLY IN The FACE OF TERROR,” orders the Sun’s front page. The words hover over the Union Flag. Put it up in your car window. (Pic: The Spine)
And here is Gordon Brown to say that the Union Flag should be flown proudly from every public building.
The Sun imagines how wonderful it would look were the flag to flutter atop Nelson’s Column and Blackpool Tower, placed in the window of Coronation Street’s Rover’s Return pub and raised at Stonehenge.
We will carry on regardless. We will not change our way of life. We will cover everything in red, white and blue because that is what decent people do.
The Sun says Broon “is convinced the patriotic gesture will help create a new sense of Britishness – and send out a never-say-die signal to extremists.”
On seeing the flag all of you prepared to give up, ready to slip on a burka, sport a wiry beard and fill your car with petrol and rusty nails (well, there’s no football on the telly) will stop. You will see the flag and be refilled with a sense of purpose and patriotism.
In a document entitled The Governance of Britain, Gordon Brown, says: “The Union Flag is one of the most recognisable symbols of the UK. In other countries it is regarded as a source of pride.”
Indeed, in the Palestinian territories, masked gunman, unmasked gunmen and gunmen in balaclavas routinely fly their flag. In North Korea, the flag is a composite mix of thousands of uniformly dressed children, men and women waving in time to tinny pop. And in Italy the flag is exported as a dish of avocado, mozzarella and sundried tomato.
“The Government will consult to bring in new measures to change the restrictions on flying the Union Flag,” says Brown of Britain.
As the Sun notes, current rules mean the flag can be flown from government buildings for only 18 days of the year. It must change before it is too late and we are doomed.
And to support the cause, the Sun is giving each reader a “FREE FLAG”. All you need do to claim your “FREE FLAG” is send self-addressed envelope featuring a 70p stamp and a cheque for £1.85 to Sun “FREE FLAG OFFER”.
We will not surrender. Capitalism will defeat the extremists. It’s a bargain at £2.55 all in. Wave it with pride.
And if you see a lunatic on fire, you can wrap him in it and quench his flames…
Posted: 4th, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5)
Dr Mohammed Asha And Michael Moore’s NHS Sicko
“TERROR CELL IN NHS,” says the Express. (Pic: The Spine)
No big news for those of us versed in the delights of enemas, porters and hospital food. But surely a sharp cough for Michael Moore, the knowing American polemicist whose film “Sicko” focuses on the U.S. health care system and why the UK’s is so much the superior.
The story, of course, hangs on the life and times of Dr Mohammed Asha, 26, who worked at the University Hospital of North Staffordshire. Readers learn that Asha specialised in neurology and planned to become a brain surgeon.
The Mastermind
Brain surgery is, alongside rocket science, the benchmark against which all things are measured. Writing the Express is not rocket science. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to answer one of the paper’s polls (a puzzler more loaded than George Bush at a frat house party).
But brain surgery might not be all it is cracked up to be, not if Asha is guilty of plotting to blow up three carloads of petrol and nails and kill anyone and everyone in the vicinity.
As we know, the two London bombs failed to go off. The cars were badly parked. And the Glasgow escapade foundered on the would-be mass murderers setting themselves on fire before they managed to detonate their explosives.
The Express says Asha, a suspected member of an Al Qaeda sleeper cell, is a ‘brilliant’ NHS doctor. The Sun says “gifted Asha” graduated from an elite Jordanian academy with straight A exam results in 1998. He was top of the class at the Jordanian University medical school in 2004. Bright, or just the best of a mentally negligible bunch?
This is either damning indictment on the brainpower of NHS staff or suggestive that bombing and doctoring do not mix and that exacting mass slaughter is not as simple as it looks.
Kill Or Cure
Two other Middle Eastern men, both trainee doctors, have been arrested. One, Iraqi Bilal Abdul Samad Abdulla, drove the blazing Jeep into the doorway of Glasgow Airport. Asha’s wife is also of a medical bent. She’s Marwah Dana, 27, a laboratory technician. A fifth doctor, a 26-year-old from Bangalore, India, was arrested in Liverpool.
And there might be more. The Mail speaks of “a loophole with no official security vetting currently necessary for doctors and medical staff coming to Britain from the Middle East.”
Readers learn that investigators have not ruled out the possibility of a second cell of NHS-linked bombers.
The numbers designed to shock and instil fear are: “Of the 240,000 or so doctors currently registered here, more than 6,000 originally qualified in the Middle East. Almost a third – 1,985 – were trained in Iraq and another 184 came from Jordan. There were also significant numbers from Syria (748), Sudan (565) and Iran (488) – all countries linked to extremism.”
Can the pill be mightier than the sword, and more deadly than the bomb? And what does the direction “Take twice a day after jihad” mean anyhow?
Posted: 3rd, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (18)
John Smeaton Packs A Punch In Glasgow
WHO is John Smeaton?
He used to work at the Dumbarton BP Garage. He was once an avid member of the under-15 team at Kelburne Cricket Club. He is now Senior Ramp Assistant at Glasgow Airport, as denoted by the red stripes on his vest.
His first thought when he saw a jeep alight and embedded in the front of Glasgow Airport was: “I’ve got to get this sorted.”
Smeaton was smoking a cigarette outside. The message that should be avoided, lest it give the wrong impression, is that heroes smoke cigarettes. If Smeaton could do it again, he would be sucking on a pear drop or biting his nails.
Smeaton sees a man emerge from the burning car. Says Smeaton to the Telegraph: “I thought, ‘You’re not hitting the police mate’. All that was going through my mind was I’ve got to help the policeman. It’s your civic duty.”
He acted. He very possibly kept his cigarette (pear drop) in his mouth while he brought down the would-be killers.
And in honour of his courage, the world now has the John Smeaton Appreciation Society. It features the tagline: “When terrorists attacked Glasgow Airport their nefarious plans were foiled by one man – BAA’s own Jack Bauer, John Smeaton. Sir you are a legend.” Bauer is the fictional counter-terrorist agent in the hit US TV series 24.
As Smeaton says: “We all ran towards him, we all tried to get a kick in and get a boot in at him, and just try to subdue the guy… I’m not letting these guys get away with this. It’s your work, it’s your duty to make sure stuff like this doesn’t happen.”
Smeaton is now the hero, the face of defiant Britain. While the voice belongs to John Clark’s who tells the New York Times:
“As one who was born in Paisley, and who grew up in Glasgow, I am not scared, nor will I let idiots run my life for me. I am angry more than anything. Other than Lockerbie, Scotland has been terror free ever since the Blitz.
“These idiots want to disrupt our lives. Although the bombs were incompetently built, the knock on effects cause disruption, so the idiots win.
“I also think that they wish to disrupt race relations in Scotland, which has a large Muslim population. Sorry, guys, it isn’t going to happen.
“I have friends who attend the Glasgow Central Mosque and the Forth Street Mosque in the South of Glasgow, and they are repulsed at these actions as all Scots are.
“Muslim, Protestant, Roman Catholic, Jew, Hindu, Sikh … Black, Brown, Yellow, or White … We are ALL Scots, and we won’t stand for foreign idiots trying to disrupt our lives and play us off against each other.”
Quite so. The message is clear, and for once not aimed by the Scots at the English. We must stand tight together.
And if Smeaton and his comrades do chuck your bags around or send them to mystery destinations, know that they do so in the line of selfless duty.
God bless the baggage handlers. They pack a mean punch…
He’s met another hero…
Posted: 3rd, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (46)
Gays Make God Angry Make Global Warming Make Boats
WHAT’LL it be: drought or downpour? Would you like to drown or spend your last moments in the grip of renal failure licking the morning dew off sand dunes?
You have only yourself to blame. Well, if you’re gay you do. The rest of us can blame you.
As the Express reports, the weather is God’s judgement on “the moral decay within modern society”.
The Bishop of Carlisle, the Rt Rev Graham Dow, says the bad weather is God’s reaction to the Civil Partnership Act. The word “Civil” suggests that God is not invited to the marriage of same sex couples. The vow runs: “I declare that I know of no legal reason why we may not register as each other’s civil partner. I understand that on signing this document we will be forming a civil partnership with each other.”
The omnipotent on is either masquerading as the superintendent registrar of the district or sat at the back of the town hall marriage suite.
“We are reaping the consequences of our moral degradation, as well as environmental damage,” says Dow. Same sex marriages are on a par with burning fossil fuels and chopping down rain forests. Every time a cow breaks wind, releasing methane to the heavens, the divine one is affronted.
And Dow is not alone. The Right Reverend James Jones, Bishop of Liverpool, says: “God is exposing us to the truth of what we have done.”
This it not the first time the Church of England has spoken on such matters. Last year the Church of England’s Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, said that George Bush’s supposed refusal to cut greenhouse emissions was not compatible with Christianity.
“We very often come across situations where people are judged for not responding to warnings,” the archbishop said. “I think what the Bible and the Christian tradition suggest is that those who have that challenge put before them, and not only that challenge but the evidence of it, and don’t respond bear a very heavy responsibility before God.”
Bush would build an ark if it didn’t mean chopping down so many trees. Perhaps he can make his boat from all the wooden pews that sit empty in Churches?
Stone Me
But it is not all bad news. As the Mail reports, when we shag ourselves back to the Stone Age, the diabetics will be fine. It is they that shall inherit the Earth.
It seems that the Stone Age diet, rich in nuts, vegetables, fish, and lean meat – is even better than the Mediterranean diet. Although it might not be better then the Mediterranean Stone Age diet, which is the apogee of good eating.
Of course, the trouble with prehistoric diets is that we can’t be certain the locals survived all that well on it. Scientists from Lund university, Sweden, were not there to record the data.
But now we are here. And we have the Bible, the Lancet and more nuts than you can shake a divining rod at…
Posted: 2nd, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (7)
Terrorism In The UK: Doctors Of Death And A Glasgow Elbow
THE loss of life and limb would have been terrible. Luckily, the gang of terrorists unleashing a wave of death and pain on the UK were undone by parking regulations and setting themselves on fire before blowing everyone up.
And now – shock of shocks – we learn that the leaders of this mentally negligible band of wannabe mass murderers are two doctors.
The Sun hails them as the “DOCTORS OF DEATH”. “CAR BOMBER IS BRITISH DOCTORS,” says the Express’s front page. “TERROR COPS SEIZE DOCTOR AND WIFE!” trills the Mirror. “BOMBS: TWO DOCTORS HELD,” says the Mail.
The scandal would be more acute if they were not medical people. Some of our most prolific and notorious killers have had access to the official drugs cabinet. As Dr Harold Shipman, Nurse Beverly Allitt and Dr. Hawley Harvey Crippen show, the step-father of modern medicine is not Hippocrates but Dr. Josef Mengele.
How the arrested medics must be cursing their lack of foresight – if only they’d have just become village GPs they could have killed at will for years. But they had to grandstand. And that was their undoing. “How can a doctor want to take our lives?” asks the Express. Know your medical history, we answer.
They Are Few
So Iranian neurologist Dr Mohammed Asha, 26, is helping the police with their enquiries, having been arrested as he and his “burka-clad” wife were motoring up the M6 in Cheshire with their two year old son (profession unspecified).
The Sun says police believe the men who tried to set fire to Glasgow airport were also responsible for leaving those car bombs in London.
These are the Mirror’s al-Qaeda bombers. That shadowy organisation was behind it all. The group portrayed as a well-run machine with a regimented command structure. The group we now see as dangerous, murderous but desperate and in the face so many of us, weak and hapless.
Just how useless they are can be learned about in the Mirror where “hero” Steven Clarkson says he “floored [the] smouldering Jeep bomber with [an] elbow to the head”. Yes, an elbow. We are loathe to resort to racial stereotyping, but surely the approved method for a Glaswegian to bring down a barbecuing Asian man screaming “Allah, Allah” is with a “kiss” to the bridge of the nose.
This is the “BUNGLED TERROR OF AMATEURS,” says the Mirror’s terrorism expert.
Why? Why Not?
If you want to know the right way to do it ask Hassan Butt. Billed in the Mail has a “former member of radical Islamicist group”, Butt is carving out a niche for himself as a nodding head and expert in the thinking of Muslim men who don’t get enough sex.
He says the real driver behind the violence is “Islamic theology”. It has nothing to do with British foreign policy. So why does Tony Parsons of the Mirror write that there were terrorists before Iraq “but it is Iraq that has torn apart the fabric of our multi-cultural society, it is Iraq that hangs like a toxic cloud over this nation, it is Iraq that poisons everything”?
Yes, a toxic cloud. Any minute Parson is going to ally the war in Iraq with global warming. Of course, he is wrong. This deadly Islamicism is exported from the Middle East and Pakistan. It does not poison everything. Indeed, most of us don’t give Iraq a second thought as we get on with our lives.
And that includes immigrants and naturalised Britons of all creeds and colours too busy earning money and chasing a better life to worry about Iraq…
Pic spotter: Pommygranate
Posted: 2nd, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (61)
He’s Gonna Blow! Extremists Flout The Smoking Ban
HAD the Glasgow bomber attacked one day later, the burning man would be now facing a charge of smoking in a public place.
Timing is all. Something other smokers are discovering as they nip out of the pub between monsoons.
It is now illegal to smoke in an enclosed public place. And, as the Express says, that includes playgrounds in Middlesbrough, Cleveland and County Durham. And a cemetery in Llanelli, South Wales. “It’s bureaucracy gone mad,” says “mourner” Steven Evans, lamenting the loss of Virginia Slim.
But can you smell that? Get past the top notes of scorched skin and burning Osama bin Laden seat covers. Inhale deeply. That, dear readers, is the rich aroma of rebellion.
The Express says “3,000 bar owners are ready to defy the law”. Tony Blows is the leader of Freedom2Choose. He claims support from 3,000 members and will go to the High Court to “fight against injustice and erosion of freedom”.
Blows is landlord of the Dog Inn in Ewyas Harold, near Hereford. “Passive smoking is a perfect lie,” says he. “There is no proof whatsoever that second-hand smoking kills.” Blows is having a “smoke-in” with his regulars.
Landlord Hamish Howitt of the Happy Scots Bar, Blackpool, says it is a “human rights issue”. Landlord Nick Hogan, of The Swan, Bolton, says: “I’m not pro-smoking, I’m pro-choice.”
“I’ll take it to the European Court of Human Rights,” says Dave West, who is planning a “mass light-up” at his HeyJo erotic club in London’s West End. “We’ll have cigarettes coming out of our ears,” says he, failing to realise that punters fed on tales of Bangkok clubs expect so much more.
And singer Joe Jackson puts the tin lid on the argument by saying: “I’m allergic to dogs. But I’m not screaming for a total dog ban.”
He should be. We should all demand an end to dangerous things, like driving, war, bad weather, being hit by a bus, Anthea Turner…
Posted: 2nd, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (4)
‘COMIC RELIEF GAVE ME TB.’ And More Horror Stories
EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.
And if it can’t think any up, it looks at the latest scientific research.
Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…
MONDAY
How morning sickness can ‘cut women’s risk of breast cancer’ – Scientists at University of Buffalo, New York State, study women and discover the lucky ones may get less breast cancer
“Are you part of the great middle class crime wave?” – Tes. And soon I hope to get really good at it and become upper class
“Killer virus threatens disaster for seals” – Phocine distemper saves fish stocks
“Long hours ‘can bring an early menopause’” – Say doctors at Versailles University
TUESDAY
“Tooth whitening kits can be bad for your health” – Try not to swallow the bleach
“Mass migration is radically changing the character of our nation. So why has it taken a wet cleric to point out the truth both the craven Tories and Labour dare not face?” – Max Hastings hears former Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey preach tolerance and love by saying “I hope he [Gordon Brown] will impose stricter controls on those entering the United Kingdom”. Poles move in mysterious ways…
“Exhausted jet pilots ‘are putting passengers at risk’” – So says British Airline Pilots’ Association
“July 4 1916, the most hellish day I ever knew” – Discovery of Somme survivor’s diary coincides with Gordon Brown’s appointment
“COMIC RELIEF GAVE ME TB. TV presenter Nick Knowles put his exhaustion down to middle age. In fact, he’d picked up TB on a charity trip – and joined the growing number of Britons unwittingly carrying this silent and deadly disease”
THE NUMBERS:
14 – “The percentage of people who suffer from hearing loss
13.1 – “The average number of years people wait to be diagnosed of celiac disease
“MY BODY TRIED TO KILL MY BABY” – A mum writes of her “natural killer (NK) cells
WEDNESDAY
“Blair must hope that the God to whom he claim he is only really answerable will judge him more kindly than British history” – Max Hastings writes British history
THURSDAY
“Can napping sap a child’s skills” – University of Southern Mississippi researchers say sleeping in the afternoon can impair a child’s mental development. Those stupid Spaniardzzz…
FRIDAY
“How obesity could leave 2.5m with dementia” – So says Professor Clive Ballard of the Alzheimer’s Society
“Plague alert over the self-cloning crayfish” – The marbled crayfish will do for us all. Get out of the water!
Posted: 1st, July 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)
Paris Hilton Catches Chiasmus
Quote: “Don’t serve the time; let the time serve you.” Paris Hilton
Figure of Speech: chiasmus (key-AS-mus), the criss-cross figure. From the Greek word for the letter “X.”
“God makes everything happen for a reason,” Paris told Larry King before celebrating her freedom at a Las Vegas disco. Apparently, the good Lord didn’t want to punish her for driving drunk with a suspended license. He wanted Paris to spend three weeks in jail “as a journey to figure out myself.”
The martyr-like heiress offered stir-induced wisdom in a marvelous chiasmus, a figure that utters a phrase or clause and then plays it backward. Paris’s chiasmus is positively Shakespearean. (“I wasted time, and now time doth waste me,” said the Bard.)
Figaro is now, like, totally hot for Hilton. Figuratively speaking.
Snappy Answer: “It’s like room service, only with time.”
Posted: 30th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)
London Bombs: Looking For Heroes And Not Giving In
“LONDON’S worst ever bomb carnage was foiled yesterday — thanks to a drunken reveller, a hero cop and a car clamper.”
So says the Sun in “SAVED”. And before it talks of the plot to kill “hundreds of girls” (it was ladies night at Tiger Tiger Club) and “thousands of people” (Express) it asks: “Were you the man treated by paramedics or do you know him? Do you know the paramedics who responded to a call at Tiger, Tiger? Or do you know the quick thinking bobby who grabbed the mobile phone from the car?”
And what of the clampers who removed a second vehicle primed to explode from a West End street and hauled it to a car pound near Hyde Park, an hour after a traffic warden had ticketed it?
The Sun needs a hero. And thanks to London’s draconian parking laws and alcoholism it might get some.
But will the biggest hero of all be the drunk, for whom paramedics were called? The paramedics who spotted petrol vapour inside the silvery green Merc and contacted the police? The policeman who removed from the first car a mobile phone trigger attached to a detonator?
Of course, we will get to know all of their names, providing, of course, the drunk can remember who his is. We will honour the emergency services and the tabloids will hand the heroes a gold-coloured metal heart on a string.
But they didn’t do it for recognition. The paramedics and policemen did it because they were able. Celebrity is not everyone’s ambition.
Heroes & Villains
Of course, it is simpler to focus on the heroes than the villains, the “FANATICS [who] tried to bring Baghdad-style carnage to London yesterday with two car bombs primed to kill hundreds” (Mirror).
They are harder to find. Or are they? The Mirror says: “Disturbingly, Scotland Yard and MI5 have admitted they had no intelligence warning of potential car bomb attack in the UK.”
But it concedes that the security services “had been braced for some sort of terror strike to coincide with Gordon Brown’s takeover as PM”.
And then the biggest clue of all: “And the bomb attacks were celebrated on a fundamentalist Islamic website hours BEFORE the cars were found.” And the Sun says police have “crystal clear” CCTV images of the driver of the first Mercedes.
So CCTVs are good. Drinking is good. Profiteering from motorists is good. Islamic fundamentalists hellbent on killing and maiming are bad and not as bright as we fear them to be.
“DON’T LET BOMBERS BEAT US,” says the Express’s front-page headline. But how will they beat us? By what stick will victory be measured? Will they win when they’ve killed us all? Or when we give way to self preservation and allow fundamentalists to recreate al-Andalus, the Islamic kingdom in Spain of 500 years past? Or when we give burkas for all, deliver a free Iraq (in which the locals are free to kill each other without American involvement) and give deluded men respect?
Scotland Yard’s anti-terror chief Peter Clarke says “Life must go on”. And Tory MP Patrick Mercer, a security expert and former soldier, says: “Above all we must not let the bombers beat us. Our lives must be conducted as normally as possible. Anything else would be a victory for our enemies.”
Did you hear that? Don’t resign your job, sell up your London home at well below market value and flee to Greenland. Stay where you are. Don’t let the terrorists scare you.
And don’t let the tales of how they are going to do for us all and the tabloid frenzy scare you either…
Posted: 30th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (42)
Adoption Racket, Beds, Cuttings And No Madeleine McCann
“MADELEINE: Secret child’s bed at couple’s home. So says the Express’s front page.
This sounds interesting. We read on and learn: “Police sources in Portugal said a small cot was found in the garage of convicted child abuser Danilo Chemello and his girlfriend Aurora Pereira Vaz.”
Chemello (first introduced by the press as Daniel Chemello) and Vaz are helping police with their enquiries.
As reported on Anorak, Chemello is wanted by French police on an international warrant. He is accused (Sun)/convicted (Express) of trying to blackmail a judge. The Express says he blackmailed her for £700,000. The Sun says he’s an Italian construction millionaire who, allegedly, extorted £60,000.
These are the facts.
Vaz is allegedly involved in illegal adoptions, although now the Express says she is known for “masterminding an illegal adoption racket”.
They sound like villains. And they wanted, allegedly, to con the McCanns into handing over the £2.5 million rewards offered for information on Madeleine McCann.
Both have served jail time for conspiracy to pervert the course of justice and firearms offence. An Italian “police source” tells us: “Vaz is completely without scruples and a very hard and determined woman.”
The Sun says “hundreds” of press cuttings about missing Madeleine McCann were found in the couple’s home.
Are these macabre souvenirs of a heinous crime? Evidence of their boning up on the facts to make their scam look more believable? A sign of how much they care?
Much remains to be seen. And speculated upon…
Posted: 30th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (65)
Madeleine McCann Extortion Over Daniel Chemello
“TWO HELD OVER MADELEINE EXTORTION,” announces the Mirror’s headline. “MADDIE ARRESTS,” says the Sun.
Can it be that the police have done their job and Mirror readers’ prayers have been answered (the paper’s mastheads continues to order “PRAY FOR HER”)?
Italian Daniel Chemello, 61, and his Portuguese lover Aurora Vaz are “feared” to have demanded money from the McCanns for information on Madeleine’s whereabouts. They have been arrested in Spain. A new suspect? Not Robert Murat.
“The facts point to them being fraudsters although the investigation is not closed,” says the statement from Spain’s National Police. “Police carried out the arrest on the basis of an intent to claim a reward offered by the parents.”
Or not. Reports from Portugal say the Italian is accused of taking part in a plot to kill a judge in France. He is being held on an international arrest warrant.
And… As the Sun says: “CHILD ABUSER IN SPAIN.” But he’s not a paedophile, say police. He’s not a kidnap suspect. He’s… “A convicted child abuser,” says the Sun. “JAILED FOR CAGING GIRL ‘LIKE ANIMAL’.”
He was sentenced to 18 months for keeping a child locked in a darkened room. Her hands were bound with sticky tape.
He’s “a convicted paedophile,” says the Times on its front page. Mr Chemello was on the “run from France for his suspected links with other paedophiles”.
And his Portuguese girlfriend is “reportedly” being questioned over allegations that she is “involved in illegal adoptions in Europe”.
The Times talks of “The Frenchman”, the man put forward as chief suspect by Antonio Toscano, billed as a “Spanish journalist”. Chemello is Italian.
Chemello lives on Sotogrande, an exclusive residential estate and golf complex in southern Spain. “The Duchess of York is a regular visitor,” says the Times. She presented the winning trophy at last year’s Sotogrande Lexus Polo Tournament.
Chemello is under a blanket. He’s being driven away by police.
And Madeleine McCann is missing…
Posted: 29th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (99)
Spice Girls Return: Victoria Beckham Has Talents
WERE the rest of the Spice Girls singling out Victoria Beckham when they sang ‘If you can’t dance, if you can’t dance’?
Not that her Poshness minds standing out. It can’t be easy finding clothes too small when you’re thinner than Michael Barrymore’s booking’s diary. Victoria must have trawled the world’s premier haute couture toddler rangers to find a dress that can barely restrain her.
“I really want a bigger bra,” says the Sun’s front-page headline. Posh, standing alongside the rest of the famous five, looks to have grown out of her clothes.
“IT WAS THE SPICE REUNION. SUDDENLY TWO MYSTERIOUS GLOBES APPEARED,” says the Mirror’s front page.
You half expect her to begin telling us that she’s been putting on weight and it’s only thanks to her lightspeed metabolism that she doesn’t look like Mel B. She then throw her arms out wide and looking like a game of hangman made flesh and blood invites us to admire her Major Minor Gucci hotpants.
Two Become More
This is the “Spice trip down mammary lane”, says the Sun. Victoria Beckham is now “BOOBY SPICE”; Sporty is “NOT SO SPORTY SPICE”; Ginger is “GERIATRIC SPICE”; Emma Bunton is “BUMPY SPICE”; and SCARY has worked on her mojo to become “SCARIER SPICE”.
A cosmetic surgeon is invited to tell the world how the “SLICED GIRLS” are, in her opinion, a product of bust lifts, boob jobs, microdermabrasion and Botox.
The Star solicits a body language expert to say how Posh is being pushed out. “Victoria isn’t showing any teeth either when she’s missing,” says Robert Philips. “It’s not a natural smile.”
Does Posh have a natural smile? It’s been no small challenge to work out what Victoria’s natural talent is. The Mail puts a fork in the spokes of the Spice’s engine (making a noise not unlike Vicky’s singing voice) and asks Posh and Co. to serenade the watching media. “We don’t have to prove anything,” they all say. “We have nothing to prove. Come and see the show if you want to see us sing.”
That’s the Spices band of pop – music you can see: voices less important than style and catchy songs that anyone who can remember the words can sing along to. A zig-a-zig-aahhh.
Wannabe My Lover?
And they are reunited. “We’ve been divorced and now we are back together,” says Victoria though ungritted teeth. The tour is on.
But what does Spice Power mean in today’s world? Vicky knows. She says of Day-vid: “Now he’ll be the one left holding the baby – that’s what I call Girl Power!”
That’s what we call an absentee mother. Or foolish, if David should choose to put the boys down and look for a new PA.
If you wanna be my lover…
Posted: 29th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (14)
God Helps Paris Hilton’s Passage (Larry King Video)
PARIS Hilton fans one and all, we dab her scent behind our knees (top notes of adolescent tissue), play her surgically un-enhanced CD and imagine what life would be like if Pairs were among us.
But we need not fantasise. Paris is here. Paris is in the Mirror, telling us about her ordeal in jail and how she recommends lags adopt the foetal position.
“The doctors explained to Sheriff Baca they thought I was having severe anxiety attacks, panic attacks and claustrophobia,” says Paris.
Paris, as the Mail reports, was “hysterical” about being in jail.
God Moves (In Killer Heels)
In the most anticipated prison release since the day Nelson Mandela walked out of Pollsmoor Prison in South Africa, Paris, who has had time to contemplate life and its meaning, utters her first words to a watching world: “Hi.”
She then says: “Thank God I’m free.”
God acts in mysterious ways. God made Paris free. And if we follow the debate, God put her in jail, gave her a voice flatter than the aforesaid Sheriff’s feet, claustrophobia, an anxiety attack and hair not quite blonde enough. God gives until it hurts.
And God has given Paris fame. And in the Star, Paris tells us that she is a “good compassionate person”. For £150,000, Paris tells US magazine People, “I’m so sincere – they’ll see.”
Free As A Butterfly
And she has her aides. “All the inmates were incredibly supportive. There were girls next to me. We could talk though vents and they were very sweet.”
Paris spent her days nursing a sick sparrow to health. “Hey, you bastards, I’m still here!” she shouts at her captors. She is a fugitive from the chain gang of celebrityville.
It is one minute past midnight an Paris is on an express train to redemption.
Paris is free to speak her mind (such as it is). And while Paris’s fans in the British tabloid press wonder what she’ll do next, in America Paris is appearing on TV’s Larry King Live.
Paris tells Larry she read the Bible every day in prison. What’s her favourite passage? “Hmmmm,” says Paris. She scours her mind. And decides: “I don’t have a favourite.”
“I’ve definitely matured and grown a lot from the experience,” says Paris. So what has she learned? Well, when she’s anxious or shy, “my voice gets really high”. Paris promises the world that she will correct this.
Hopefully in time for her next album…
Posted: 28th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (4)
If I Did It: OJ Simpson Book Was A Hoax
OJ Simpson confesses in a book. Or does he? Tabloid Baby investigates:
We told you back in November that it was pretty obvious that a ghostwriter had written the so-called OJ Simpson confessional, “If I Did It,” and that former ReganBooks publisher Judith Regan paid the acquitted double murderer to put his name to it.
But the mainstream new media, chasing their own tails and sniffing each other’s butts in pursuit of the consensus, never followed up — until today, as our pals at The New York Post’s Page Six today quotes a Simpson buddy saying: “O.J. told me Judith Regan approached him and said to him, ‘Do you mind if we write a book and put your name on it?’ I said, ‘I don’t care. You can write anything you want, as long as you pay me.'”
Promoter Norm Pardo adds: “O.J. would laugh, ‘Can you believe they’d pay me to say I wrote something I didn’t actually write?’ A ghostwriter largely based the book on court transcripts from Simpson’s trial.”
We knew it was scam as soon as word leaked that Regan’s former lover from her National Enquirer days, TV mystery writer Pablo Fenjes, had been hired to “help” Simpson with the book. Fenjves was a neightbor of murder victim Nicole Simpson– and testified at Simpson’s trial.
And as we wrote in November 2006:
Fenjves has made a living by using his imagination, he was involved in the Simpson case, he works in the imaginary crime genre, he conjures crime scenes for the small screen, and he writes in other people’s voices. This sounds to be right up his alley. And Regan, the genius packager, could have seen this as a way to right all those wrongs she wrote about in her own very disturbing Drudge Report “confession.”
What came first? OJ Simpson or the manuscript?
If I Did It could turn out to be a literary hoax right up there with James Frey’s work.
The book was pulled before publication and Regan lost her job shortly after the fiasco.
Posted: 27th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)
Secrets And Suspect Evidence For Madeleine McCann
“PRAY for Madeleine,” instructs the Mirror’s masthead.
But there is no news of Madeleine McCann within the paper that wears a yellow ribbon on its sleeve in an overt display of caring. (How long will the ribbon feature? And will it last longer than the Mirror’s post-Iraq invasion WMD counter?)
But there is news in the Express. In “Find the Arab’s yacht” readers learn of a girl resembling Madeleine seen being taken aboard the boat of a “wealthy Arab family” in Malta.
We learn that the island’s “overstretched force” is “desperately” trying to trace the boat.
But tracing a boat is not a tricky thing, especially if the spotter can recall the vessel’s name. But they can’t get close enough. The Express says security guards are blocking their way.
Back in Portugal, an “official” tells us: “It is a distinct possibility that Madeleine has been held captive on a vessel like the one seen in Malta so we are very keen to track the boat very quickly.”
It is possible. Just as it is possible she is not on the boat and the people who thought they’d seen her got it wrong. Possible that the security guards were under orders to repel all borders.
Toscano Knows
Or that Madeleine is not with an Arab family touring the Mediterranean but the victim of a French sex offender.
The Express make mention anew of Antonio Toscano, the “television investigator” who claims to know all. He is also a “private investigator”. He may also be a chancer after the massive reward and fame. (Read Madeleine McCann’s Wearside Jack And Toscano’s Suspect.)
Toscano says he is “100 per cent certain” the Frenchman took Madeleine.
“I’m not willing to make any of the names public yet,” says Toscano. The police need time to work on the information I’ve given them… Every other lead has fallen down. The police are now working on the first credible information they’ve had since Madeleine went missing.”
So the sightings in Malta are not credible, or incredible, even? So too the sightings in Morocco, the Dutch map and man and woman in Portugal? Which makes us wonder why the Sun, which had an “e-fit over Madeleine McCann” when the Portuguese police thought better of bringing it into the investigation, is not demanding Toscano reveals all he knows?
Why do the public not know the identity of this prime suspect? We know all about Robert Murat, the “creepy” bouncy castle fetishists, the case’s only suspect. Why not this?
Madeleine McCann is missing and there is speculation, opportunism and grief…
Posted: 27th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (43)
Paris Hilton Is Half-Way To Freedom
LOCK up your DVD players and get out the tissues – Paris Hilton leaves prison today.
We have little idea what to expect. Paris was hardcore before she went inside and will this new Paris sport hideous tattoos, a shaved head and dead eyes? Hell, will the new Paris be the old Britney Spears?
We cannot be certain. But we do know what she plans to do with her life once free. Paris will enlarge the rooms, go long on soap on a rope and turn the Hilton hotels in the world first prison chain.
But first she will open a boutique halfway house for lags.
As Paris tells a US radio DJ: “These women just keep coming back as they have no place to go. It would be a place to get food and clothes.” Like Rodeo Drive but more exclusive.
Says Paris: “I appreciate everything now and I think there were a lot of bad people that I was around and I didn’t want to surround myself with those types of people any more.”
Steady on, Paris, you’re not out yet…
Posted: 26th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)
Prince William And Kate Middleton Strike A Cord
SINCE Prince William departed the scene, Kate Middleton has been seen out with a succession of eligible needlecords.
The Mirror mentions Charles Morshead and Henry Ropner, who, perhaps in fear of appearing unpatriotic and reducing a chance of knighthood, claim to be only friends of Kate.
But, as a source tells the paper: “Even if they were just pals, it was difficult for William seeing Kate out, letting her hair down on the arms of other men. He increasingly began to realise how much he missed her company.”
Not to mention the sex. It’s all very well being the most eligible man in the land but finding a girl who won’t kiss and tell all is no easy thing. Do they like William or his baseball cap? Kate is safe and easy to pull on, like an old pair of cords.
So here’s William taking Kate to an Army do. They are on the dance floor. They are kissing. And now they are disappearing to William’s quarters.
“WILLS BEGS KATE TO GIVE IT ANOTHER GO,” says the Star. Yes, “begs”, like he’s desperate.
He can be better. He will try harder. It happens to all young princes, what with the stress and all.
So the fires of the great romance has been rekindled. “Wills and Kate together again,” says the Express
Satisfaction for one and all…
Posted: 25th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (6)
Here’s Mud In Your Eye For Petronella’s Glastonbury Or Glyndebourne
THE Mail is at Glastonbury and the verdict is “GLYNDEBOURNE IT AIN’T.” (Pic: The Spine)
Indeed it is not. For open thing, there is less popping of champagne corks than the popping of pills and recreational medications. The only braying comes from the livestock in the encouraging field and not the well-heeled comparing riotous tales of red socks and slumming it in Selfridge’s.
For another thing there are black people present in a non-waiting, cleaning capacity. Indeed such is the caking effect of so much mud that all Glasto music fans look swarthy of complexion.
Everyone apart from the Mail’s Petronella Wyatt, a woman who famously penned her own Wikipedia entry. As she wrote: “Taking every precaution. I kept the facts on my entry to a minimum, confining myself to my academic career and the post I held on various newspapers and magazines.” The entry was vandalised and readers hears how she often rode to hounds “bare-breasted”.
All we need to know about Petronella is that she is called Petronella. And now Petronella is in Glastonbury. She’s wearing a pink suit and wellies as if about to seduce the stable lad.
Petronella calls Glastonbury a “waking nightmare”. The man on the gate asks her if she is wearing her outfit for a joke. He’s on to her. Of course, she is.
She wants a taxi to the nearest camping ground. “Are you already on something?” asks the official. She is. She’s on a Daily Mail expense account.
Petronella is hungry. But she hears the stalls are not uniformly sanitary. She decides to “wait until dinner”. Looking at Petronella’s legs, minds turn to the wimmin knitting suppositories at the Organic Medication tent. Petronella looks like the kind of woman for whom missing meals is a perk of the trip.
She says she wants to find supper but it all comes with a “side order of mud”. She looks for food, and orders a continental breakfast to be delivered to her tent. A man reacts aggressively.
Does she eat? We are not told that she does. She discovers “there is no such thing as time here”. She may not have missed lunch, dinner and breakfast at all.
And unlike at Glyndebourne, no-one asked her why she hadn’t brought a picnic…
Posted: 25th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (8)
