Tabloids Category
The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.
After Grenfell Tower: let’s envy the ‘victims’ in their luxury flats
After Grenfell Tower, news that displaced residents will be rehoused in “Posh New £5m Flats” (Star) at a new-build complex called Kensington Row located around a mile and a half from the disaster. The development has 68 flats, where the three-bed and four-bed flats are worth “around £5m” each. These bigger flats, says the paper, are where “a majority of the survivors” will live.
Over in the Express there’s news that only “some of the victims” will be rehoused in the new flats. I’d say none of the victims will be. They’re dead – at least 79 of them. It’s the survivors who are being rehoused because their last home was a toxic time-bomb.
The flats, secured by the City of London Corporation, are worth even more in the Express. Now homes on the plot are worth up to £8.5m. Residents have access to a “gym, swimming pool, spa, private cinema and 24-hour concierge”. Are we supposed to envy them, or just marvel at the insane London property market which keeps so many people off the property ladder?
The Mail says those survivors are living the dream
And then we learn that the City of London Corp paid around £10m (source: The Sun) for the 68 flats. That’s not £5m each is it – even if Diane Abbott is doing the maths. The majority of survivors are not living in £5m flats. It’s just under £150,000 for each, on average. Yes, I know that’s not the asking price, but the base price. The developers have “sold the properties at cost price”. But it proves that the flats’ monetary value is affected by many forces, not least of all guesswork and the legal requirement that all new complexes contain an element of low-cost housing. The government defines affordable housing as “social rented, affordable rented and intermediate housing provided to specified eligible households whose needs are not met by the market”.
The need for a decent roof over your head is not a luxury or an investor’s punt. It’s a basic human requirement.
Oddly, the Mirror makes no mention of the new flats until Page 5. Buried in the 14h paragraph of a story on how Grenfell Tower became enveloped in a “deadly cyanide cloud”, we learn that “some Grenfell residents” will be rehoused “in a £10m deal”.
The Mail leaves it to pages 20 and 21 to focus on the flats. Now the flats are in “£2bn blocks” and worth up to £13m. The flats are “the stuff of dreams”. Well, the privately owned ones next door the council flats on the same £2bn development are. The council homes will have a lower spec.
The rehoused Grenfeell Tower survivors will, the paper observes, “live near multi-millionaires”. Not everyone’s a multi-millionaire in London – yet. There are people in the city who live in social housing and do menial and blue collar jobs. Who knew?
Posted: 22nd, June 2017 | In: Money, News, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment
Daily Express overdoses on aspirin
The Daily Express has big news on aspirin:
A daily dose of aspirin poses a health risk, says the paper.
Or as it told us earlier:
Spotter: Liz Gerard
Daily Express leads with scoopiest scoop of all time
What news from the Daily Express? Well, the investigative team has been in full cry:
It’s going to be hotter in the summer! Get me an ice-cream – and make it double, no, a treble scoop!
Posted: 13th, June 2017 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment
Richard Hammond is not dead (he’s on Amazon Prime)
“I thought Richard Hammond had died.” says Jeremy Clarkson on the Daily Star’s cover. No, Clarkson, he’s just not on the telly as much, having moved from the BBC to Amazon Prime.
For those of you not in the know. Hammond was in a car crash. No, it wasn’t the car crash that put him in a coma a few years ago. And it wasn’t the Top Gear car crash – that was Chris Evans. This car crash was when Hammond destroyed a “£2million electric car” while filming The Grand Tour show.
He’s alive.
But how much was that car worth? The Sun, Mail and Mirror all agree that the car was worth £2m. But was it? The Times says it was worth $1m, which a lot of money for a customised milk float, but a lot less than £2m.
The car was a Rimac Concept One, an electric car. You can buy one for $980,000. You can buy the one Hammond was riding in for less.
Posted: 13th, June 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: Man City’s Joe Hart’s Liverpool limbo
News is that Joe Hart hasn’t received any offers. Oh, come on, someone must have offered the big lunk a job as a clothes line or a figuring in a bi snow globe (he’s not advertising anti-dandruff treatments any longer so look out below).
The Sun and Mirror say the Manchester City and England goalkeeper is “in limbo”, having received no offers to play for a new club. The idea of Joe Hart, a man possessed with all the composure of a loon screaming at pigeons in the precinct, being agile enough to dive for a ball let alone limbo is far-fetched.
But can this be the same Joe Hart who had agreed to joined Liverpool?
The Mirror then produces one of those awful ‘7 things’ columns:
Such are the facts.
Posted: 12th, June 2017 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Tabloid review: Boris Johnson is BOJO the healer as Corbyn waits for Number 10 and Theresa hangs on
Is Jeremy Corbyn surging towards Downing Street? Can urban young Remainers get Corbyn, a Eurosceptic for most of his life, to change his ways, scupper Brexit and become Prime Minister? The stakes seem very high after Theresa May’s humbling. The General Election result invites so many questions.
Is democracy in peril? Wasn’t Brexit the biggest revolt in British politics, a rejection of the establishment? Is Corbyn’s dynamic campaign and his leadership a strike against a hard Brexit? Is the increased Labour vote share a turn away from Leave and back to the EU? Brexit was not central to the General Election debate. Well, so they told us. And then when the votes were counted, it became all about Brexit. Have your heard anything other than Brexit leading the news cycle and TV bulletins?
Tabloid round-up:
In the Daily Mirror, we read (fornt page): “Corbyn: I Can Be Prime Minister In Months”
Corbyn says that if the Tories call another snap election, he’s ready to win it and become Prime Minister. So close is Corbyn to power that the paper finally introduces Mrs Corbyn III. She’s Laura Alvarez, an ex-banker and 48 years young. She married Corbyn in her native Mexico in 2012. What does she do with her time? “She now imports fair trade coffee.” She is very much the kind of supporter Labour now represents.
The Daily Mail leads with “Theresa Tears Up Manifesto”. Well quite. “Theresa”. We’re still on first name terms with Mrs May in the Daily Mail. Even on Saturday, when the vote was raw and she was, as the Mirror’s source tells it, “welling up with tears”, the Mail backed “Theresa”.
The Mail on Sunday is less pally, preferring a night in with Boris:
As Mail editors compete, today’s paper has Boris Johnson, for it she, declaring: “Me after the top job? That’s tripe, says Boris.” Tripe you can read in the, er, Mail on Sunday.
So into Theresa is the Mail that Peter Oborne analyses the election and declares: “Let’s calm down and remember that Mrs May won.” She won a bigger slice of the vote and more voters, but she lost the most important result on seats won. Rather like Nicola Sturgeon, May took voters for granted and failed to engage with them.
But the real winner seems to be Boris Johnson. The Mail on Sunday loves him. The Star (“IT’S BOJO THE FAVE”) supports him. The Sun leads with him. “BOJO: BINNING MAY IS A NO-NO – Boris tells Tories to stop plotting.” BOJO. Boris. May.
So keen is Boris Johnson to leave Theresa May in the limelight that he writes a column for the Sun. He make one salient point about democracy and the fluidity of modern politics, noting that Corbyn “picked up Kensington – but then he also lost Mansfield”. Labour is the party of the south. Who represents the working class now? Boris Johnson?
And finally the Express also leads with “BORIS”. He says”TORY MPs MUST BACK MAY”. Over pages 4 and 5 we’re told: “We need to calm down and pull together says Boris.” We see the text message he sent to Tory MPs to encourage them to back the Prime Minister. Rally round the leader, says Boris. Boris should be leader, says the media. Rally round me, says Boris.
Posted: 12th, June 2017 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
The Roger Moore cancer scoop that wasn’t
Sir Roger Moore was a top bloke. The Express has a story on the actor most famous for playing James Bond with such aplomb:
A scoop, then. Or not:
Apart from that it was all true.
Spotter: @PointlessLetters
Posted: 11th, June 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Julie Wadsworth: paedophile’s crimes become kinky romps
Is it different for women? Husband and wife Tony and Julie Wadsworth have been found guilty of encouraging six boys to take part in sexual activity between 1992 and 1996. The Wadsworths, both ex-BBC radio presenters, had denied all charges, putting their victim through the ordeal of a three-week trial. Julie Wadsworth, 60, was convicted of nine indecent assaults against boys and five counts of outraging public decency. Tony Wadsowrth, 69, was found guilty of the same charges.
Nasty stuff. Sordid and ugly. So how does the Sun report on these sex criminals, villains the Mail brands “paedophiles”? Well, from the off the story is of “romps” and the “kinky” wife. Since when did indecent assault become a romp?
In case you’re not yet titillated, the paper has lots more photos of Julie:
ROMP – Collins Dictionary:
verb – When children or animals romp, they play noisily and happily. Dogs and little children romped happily in the garden. Synonyms: frolic, sport, skip, have fun.
countable noun – If two people have a romp, they have sex in a light-hearted and very casual way.
The grainy black and white image below featured in the Leicester Trader in December 1979 “when the paper ran a glamour competition featuring local girls”.
There is the Julie Wadsworth mug shot – and we even see Tony – a paedo less worthy of the front page – posing for the police’s camera:
But the photos of Julie Wadsworth surely invite readers to appraise her appearance. Are we really to think that paedophilia is ok if the abuser is shaggable? Is it different for women?
Election Day tabloids: Corbyn missing, May mocked and bigots burn Untermensch newspapers
It’s “TEZZA v JEZZA” (Daily Star) and the tabloids are going big on the leaders of the country’s two biggest parties.
Which leader’s picture appears most?
The Daily Star leads with photos of Jeremy Corbyn and Theresa May. Corbyn looks like he’s flicking through some old holiday snaps of his time with Diane Abbott. Theresa May is in full Joyce Grenfell mode. Inside the paper, over pages 2 and 3, both leaders are smiling.
It’s just May on the Express‘ cover. No sign of Corbyn until page 12. “We must not let Jeremy Corbyn into Number 10,” says Ross Clark at first sighting of the Labour leader.
The Mirror finds a horrible picture of May and makes it big and then bigger. Get a load of those nostrils! Gerra load of those bogies up those nostrils!! And then look at the bags below the staring eyes, the teeth, the lips, the lot. Aaaaaah! There is no sign of Corbyn. Where is he?
On pages 2-3, we get 7 more pictures of May – and not one of Corbyn. We see and hear from Emily Thornberry, the shadow foreign secretary. We see May with a long Pinocchio hooter.
Finally we get to see Jeremy Corbyn on page 4. He’s inviting us to examine the thumb on his right hand. In a smaller photo, we see his right hand held up and open. You wonder what the left hand is doing and if the right hand knows what the left hand is doing.
There are two more pictures of Theresa May. On page 7, there’s a cartoon showing May being kicked – physically kicked – by a battalion of voters.
On page 8, we again see May. She’s everywhere in the Mirror.
The Daily Mail leads with May. She is smiling. Her hands are spread wide. The picture is flattering.
Page 4 and May’s back. She’s “fired up”.
Page 9 and we see picture of Diane Abbott. But sill no sign of Jeremy Corbyn. He’s nowhere. There is not one photo of the Labour Party leader in the Mail.
This man is rubbish – actual rubbish
The Sun shows Corbyn on the cover. He’s in the “COR-BIN (geddit?). He is rubbish, actual rubbish. (If anyone fancies a flutter, I’d go each-way on Puppet of Unions in the 3:15).
Over pages 2 and 3, we see two photos of smiling Theresa May.
On pages 4 and 5 we see Jeremy Corbyn stood below a sign that says “CRAP”. It did say “SCRAP” – another sort of rubbish, if you will – but if you crop the ‘S’ it’s changed to “CRAP”.
Pages 8-9 and the Sun dresses up Corbyn. We see the now Prime Minister sat on a bench in “derelict Britain”. We get one more photo of a smiling May.
Meanwhile… the kind of people who don’t like tabloids and the Untermensch who read them are burning the things. It really is like the 1930s. And it’s not Nazis shutting down free speech and monstering anyone you don’t agree with – it’s you, the right on fascist spotters! Oh, the irony!
Psst: Any Corbyn fans got a copy of the Jewish Chronicle? It’s full of burning issues.
Vote now and vote often. RAUS!
Posted: 8th, June 2017 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
GE17: Nuanced tabloids leave voters in a dither
It’s the eve of the 2017 General Election and the the papers remain undecided. It’s all very nuanced at the Daily Mail, Daily Express and Sun.
One tabloid does, however, make it position clear: Jeremy Corbyn’s cup is empty in the Daily Mirror.
Posted: 7th, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
After London Bridge: geezer Roy Larner told his attackers “F*** you, I’m Millwall”
Looking for London geezers after the London Bridge attack, the media spots Peckham’s Roy Larner, 47, who when confronted with the murderous Islamists told them: “Fuck you, I’m Millwall.”
Larner decided he needed to “take the piss out of these bastards”. He continued to shut “Fuck you, I’m Millwall” as he was stabbed eight times. Roy tells the Sun:
“They had these long knives and started shouting about Allah. Then it was, ‘Islam, Islam, Islam’. Like an idiot I shouted back at them…. I took a few steps towards them and said, ‘Fuck you, I’m Millwall’. So they started attacking me.”
Roy Larner is a top geezer. Today we should all be a bit Millwall.
Ladies & gentlemen I give you Roy 👏👏❤️ pic.twitter.com/SyaSHRW4Wh
— Jayne Jacob (@jezebeljayne) June 5, 2017
Love the book he’s reading – ‘Learn To Run.’ At them.
Posted: 6th, June 2017 | In: Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (3)
After London Bridge: we’ve had ‘Enough is Enough’ of Jeremy Corbyn (paper review)
The London Bridge and Borough Market terror attacks – how do the tabloids cover the massacre? All share the same news of heroic deeds, horrific injuries and barbarity. But their different treatment of Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn is notable. Which of the political leaders do you trust to keep us safe?
Daily Star (front page): “HEROES”
The paper focuses first not on the Islamist extremists who murdered people, rather on the people who helped defeat them and help the injured. We meet Gerard Vowles and Geoff Ho.
Page 2 – 3: “HUNTING FOR VICTIMS”. Now we get to the killers, who wielded foot-long hunting knives and used a truck to slaughter people. And then to the heroes once more.
GEEZER: Gerard Vowles, a proper Londoner who makes us proud. He went to help a woman being set upon by the murderers. He “pelted the killers with pint glasses, bottles and chairs”.
GEEZER: A woman “wedged herself in a restaurant door to stop the gang bursting in and attacking diners”. We do not know her name. But she held things up long enough for 20 people to escape.
GEEZER: A cabbie tried to run down the killers with his taxi. (More on him later.)
GEEZER: A copper took on all three killers. He was armed with a baton. He was stabbed many times. He survived.
GEEZER: Geoff Ho is a journalist for the Sunday Express. He was stabbed in the neck trying to help a doorman under attack. He tweeted: “Don’t know whether it was stupid or noble to jump in and break up the fight outside the Southwark Tavern, but two a*******s trying to do over a lone bouncer on the door isn’t happening on my watch.”
(It’s great that the Star is unable to repeat the word “arseholes” but finds no issue carrying adverts for “Proper Filthy Girls” and an invitation to phone in and “Listen to Mother & Daughter” aural sex. Apparently, incest is ok but arseholes are taboo.)
The paper produces grainy photos of the killers waking through Borough Market. We also see one of them dead on the floor, killed by a policeman. The copper’s a geezer, too, as are all the police who raced to help.
Pages 4-5: “Dozens held in Armed Swoops”
Police raided a block of flats in Barking, where one of the killers reportedly lived. He was, says a neighbour, a “nice guy” who “rewarded favours with curry”. Says Mohammed, a neighbour who had jump-started the soon-to-be killer’s car: “I told him to forget about giving me money. The next day he turned up with a lovely chicken biryani that we all enjoyed.” The killer was also seen wearing an Arsenal shirt – the one he was wearing when he murdered so many. “I couldn’t believe it. I had seen him in that shirt at 5pm that evening,” says another neighbour.
Another adds: “He approached me yesterday and asked me where I hired a van recently. He said he was going to move house… He was being nicer than normal… He was always nice, but yesterday he was an entirely different level of niceness.”
Evil is banal.
Page 6- 7: “MAY: THIS IS WAR – PM vows to crush Islam extremist.” May is “defiant”. But Jeremy Corbyn did a”U-turn”, changing his “long-held opinion that he was not ‘happy’ with the police’s shoot-to-kill policy.”
Page 21: The horror occupies readers’ minds. They text in their views (click the image to enlarge):
Daily Express (front page): ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”:
The paper echoes the words Theresa May used to condemn the slaughter.
Page 2-3: “Jihadis walked around like outlaws at the OK Corral.” Sticking with the idea of this being the wild West, the paper issues a phone poll. The question runs: “Is now the time to round up suspects?”
The paper reminds us that the killers wore dummy suicide vests. They yelled, “This is for Allah.” The paper’s editor tells readers of the woman on London Bridge pleading with her stabbed partner: “Stay with me please, I love you. Come on, please. Don’t let those fuckers get away with it.” He says Donald Trump is right to ridicule our politicians for being “politically correct in our reaction to these outrages”. And “Theresa May is right when she says Enough is Enough.”
Page 3: “Marksmen threaten to shoot a fleeing suspect in pyjamas.” To West Ham, where an eyewitness tells us about a police raid: “Then a young black man, barefoot and in pyjamas came out of the window. They were shouting ‘We will shoot you if you don’t go back in… the police officer was ready to shoot.”
Page 4: “We fought toff jihadis with bottles and hid in cellars and cupboards.”
We hear from Mark Stembridge, owner of Cafe Brood: “Three Asian guys came down the steps after crashing the van. I saw them with the knives. They each had a knife in their hands. They were about 10-12 inches long. The staff reacted very quickly. We had about 130 customers and 15 staff working. We all got inside but we don’t have doors only shutters. The staff protected all the customers and the three guys just hesitated and then they went off.”
Page 4: Elizabeth O’Neill’s son, Daniel O’Neill, was stabbed. The killers told him: “This is for my family, this is for Islam.” Mrs O’Neill calls her son’s attackers “cowards”. She is remarkably restrained. They wanted to kill him.
Page 6: More from the cabbie who tried to run down one of the killers. He had a fare in the back when he saw their rented van crash on London Bridge. “I said I am going to try and hit him, knock him over, so I spun the cab round and was about to ram one of them, but he side-stepped and three police officers came running towards them with batons drawn.” The cabbie told everyone to run. Student nurse Rhiannon Owen is grateful. “I’ve been trying to find the driver all day on social media. I owe him my life.”
Black Cab drivers, eh, salt of the earth. One part of Chris’s – that’s all we know of him – testimony makes me smile: “I saw the van went between one of the traffic light systems. There is an area called Nancy Steps, famous for the film Oliver!.” You don’t get that in an Uber. Chris is a top geezer.
And now we get to Jeremy Corbyn. We read that one of his “leading supporters” has “described Islamic terrorists as ‘freedom fighters'”. It’s Barbara Ntumy – pronounced numpty? – who reportedly tweeted in July 2014: “One mans jihadist / terrorist is another mans freedom fighter #JustSaying.” She is quoted: “I absolutely 100 per cent condemn terrorism.” Is it fair to drag up an old tweet now? Isn’t Corbyn enough?
On Page 9, we hear of “Nauseating” Jeremy Corbyn, a man who “in the recent past has called Islamic terrorist groups and the IRA ‘friends’ and opposed every piece of anti-terror legislation”. Security Minister Ben Wallace says: “Voters will judge him [Corbyn] on his views and actions in the last 30 years, not his desperate promises and evasive soundbites three days from polling day.” Is Corbyn tough on crime and terror? Express readers get to read Theresa May’s statement in full. They do not hear Corbyn’s.
Daily Mirror (front page): “MONSTERS”
The word dehumanises them. The killers were men.
Page 2 -3: “FACING DOWN EVIL”. We meet the “revellers fighting back against the attackers”. The paper mention religion once in its lead story. It does so when quoting Theresa May, who stated that she would fight the “evil ideology of Islamist extremism”.
Page 4-5: We hear more of the woman begging her partner to hang on. It’s heartbreaking. We do not know if Peter survived. To consider one story up close brings the pain to the fore. The numbers of dead and injured we read and consider as facts. Peter and his lover are intensely human. It’s unbearable.
Page 6-7: “TOWER OF TERROR.”
Police raided the Elizabeth Fry tower in Barking, East London. In all, they made 12 arrests. Chris Hughes, the paper’s defence editor, praises police and MI5. They have “smashed… more than a dozen major plots” cooked up by “Islamist terrorism since 9/11”. MI5 operates with a “professionalism” other intelligence agencies “can only dream of”.
Page 8-9: “People hurled tables, chairs and glasses at then..they weren’t going to stand back.”
Page 10-11: “I looked into his eyes and thought he was going to pull the pin & blow us up.”
Page 14-15: Only now does the paper turn to politics. We see Theresa May declaring “Enough’s enough.” We get it. The words chime. The paper picks out another of her lines: “Terrorism breeds terrorism…they are copying one another.” And then we get to Jeremy Corbyn. He looks smaller than May. His line runs: “Our police, nurses, firefighters deserve a pay rise. They can’t get by on her warm words.” Get that? In talking of terror and the fight against it, the Mirror backs Corbyn to get better rates for public sector workers. If the voters decide terrorism is the key issue, Corbyn’ scuppered. The Mirror is realistic. Corbyn being tough on terror does not resonate.
Page 16-17: “PM: Net giants give hate ‘safe space to breed.” May is no champion of free speech. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, the killers most likely used phones, roads and drank tea as they plotted. Why not clamp down on those things, too? The Mirror does not condemn Mays illiberalism. It finds an echo in the shape of the no less authoritarian Yvette Cooper. The paper affords the Labour MP and ex-shadow home secretary a platform to say the big web companies must do mote to stamp out “extremist recruitment online”. If Cooper is worth a listen, then why not the current shadow home secretary, Diane Abbott? Is she hard on terror? Is she in hiding until after the election? Is Cooper the future of Labour? If she is, then blimey, they really are shafted.
Pages 18-19: “Richard Angell says the terrorists will not win. More on him here.
Page 20-21: “GIVE MORE COPS GUNS”
Is that a good idea?
Daily Mail (Front page): “Bloody day all of Britain said: Enough is enough.” The message is clear: Theresa May speaks for us all.
Page 2-3: The Mail says at least one of the killers was known to the security services. We’re told he’s the Watford-born man wearing the Arsenal shirt. We’re told of claims he “became radicalised by watching extremist videos on YouTube”. Funny how it goes that way around: you watch the video then become a killer. Might it be that he liked Islamic extremism and any videos just entertained him? If we present the killers as empty vessels to be easily moulded by a video, we remove some of their own free will from the crime. We move closer to making them victims. And – boy – do Islamists like to be victims.
Page 4-5: More photos of the carnage. Pictures of the dead and injured. Who needs YouTube? If looking can turn you into a killer, should we look at the papers?
Page 6-15: More and more photos of the injured; more stories of heroism, defiance and bravery – “The fucker stabbed me in the neck,” says Candice Hedge (the Mail says “f*****s” ; dead bodies are ok in the Mail but swearing might influence impressionable minds).
Page 16-17: “MAY: CURB THE HATE ON WEB.”
Page 18: “Hours after latest horror, IS terror guides sill online.”
Page 19: Richard Littlejohn – “I’m sick of politicians pussy footing around. As they won’t says it, I will – we ARE at war.” He asks if the nation can take Jeremy Corbyn seriously on matters of national security. Hold your tongue. The question is rhetorical. The answer is coming thick and thicker.
Page 20: “There country is not reeling – but nor are we appeasers of terror like Corbyn,” says Dominic Lawson.
Page 21: “Corbyn’s 30 Years of Talking to Terrorists.”
The Sun (front page): “JIHADI KILLER IS AN ARSENAL SHIRT.”
Football. The Sun has done it and made football a key part of the story. (Add it to the list of unwelcome endorsements.) We learn that the killer in the old Arsenal top was called ‘Abz’.
Page 2-3: “8 Cops. 50 Shots. 3 Losers burning in Hell.” Is Donald Trump writing the Sun’s headlines?
Pages 4-5: “A girl burst in, her neck spurting blood, and grabbed me.”
Page 6-7: “4 Women Among 12 Arrested.” To which the response is: so? Or: How many Spurs fans?
Page 8-9: “We Stopped Them – Bouncer lobs seats at 3 killers. Leads fiends to be shot by police.” Ozzy the doorman is a geezer. “I realised I had to do something,” he says. “… Me and another guy started launching bar stools, bottles and glasses at them… They ran through the barrage and we deflected them and they literally ran straight into the cops who shot them.” Says Ozzy’s mate: “Ozzy’s an absolute hero.”
Page 10-15: More tales of courage, heartache and horror.
Page 16-17: “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.”
May’s soundbite might just produce the predicted Tory landslide. Corbyn is once more attacked over his ‘U-turn’.
Page 18: “Corbyn is a real threat to security”, says Trevor Kavanagh. The Sun says a vote for May is a vote to “make Britain safer”.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 5th, June 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
London Bridge attack: London fights back but democracy capitulates
“We were throwing bottles, chairs, stools, anything we could get. A stool hit one of them on the head,” says Gerard Vowls, an eye-witness to the attack on London Bridge and Borough Market.
“They were running up going ‘this is for Allah’, they ran up and stabbed this girl, I don’t know how many times, ten times, maybe 15. She was going ‘help me, help me’ and I could not do anything. I tried to help her, I threw something at them. There was a bike on the floor, I tried to pick up the chair but it was locked to it, to throw it at them, to get them away from her…
“They kept coming to try to stab me … they were stabbing everyone. Evil, evil people.”
A chef from Fish restaurant tells us: “I saw two men with big knives downstairs outside Roast. They were stabbing people. The guy with the knife was killing two people. We were shouting ‘stop, stop’ and people threw chairs at them.”
Gerard and the other people fighting back make me proud to be a Londoner. The Islamists murdering people enjoying a night out in London are scum. Police shot three attackers dead.
Owen Evans was there. He says: “Then they told us to leave the pub and to run, and a policeman standing outside with a gun was shouting, ‘Go, get the fuck out.’ We ran down the street, turned left at the Market Porter, than ran down the road and away. We got to the South Bank and then waited ages for a tube, and eventually got home.”
The police make me proud to be a Londoner.
Politicians do not make me proud. To suspend the election campaign so close to the vote looks like capitulation.
The front pages:
Posted: 4th, June 2017 | In: News, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
How to survive Jeremy Corbyn’s ‘Nuclear Meltdown’
Don’t panic! Jeremy Corbyn might trigger a “Nuclear Meltdown” should the leader of the hollowed out Labour Party make it into Number 10, but surviving the atomic holocaust is just a matter of picking the right level of sun cream. The Daily Mail is here to help its readers survive.
Factor 5million should just about do it.
Posted: 3rd, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
GE17 tabloid review: Corbyn’s cat, May’s death and go Amber!
GE17: a look at tabloid reporting on the big debate.
Daily Mirror (front page): “Tories are plotting to stab PM in the back”.
No sign of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn on the Mirror’s cover, just news that should Theresa May not win a “hefty election majority” Tories will “ditch her”. May is shown looking tight-lipped.
You know it’s looking bad for Labour when the Labour-supporting newspaper finds solace in anything other than a Tory landslide.
There is no mention of Jeremy Corbyn until page 6.
Indeed, in this front-page story, May is name-checked 11 times; Corbyn just twice. Corbyn’s image only appears in a small photo on a left-hand page. And even then he’s not alone.
Page 6 -7: “May has to land a huge majority or she’ll be hung out to dry by the Tories,” states the paper. Stabbed and hanged. Brutal stuff. But more likely May will get a great pension and more time to sort out the bins.
On page 7 Jason Beattie says May has “no personality”. She has “sabotaged the Tory campaign”. She is “brittle and desperate”. Jason isn’t keen on her.
Page 6: “Labour will storm ahead with its blueprint for Britain if it becomes the largest party in a hung parliament.” It will storm ahead before getting caught in an eddy and going nowhere. “If we are the largest party, we go ahead – no deals,” says shadow Foreign Secretary Emily Thornberry, safe in the knowledge that they won’t be.
Page 7: We get to look at Labour Party winner. “Tony Blair called Sedgefield County Durham his ‘spiritual and political home’,” says Paul Routledge. Yep. it’s Blair, who keeps his money in London. Routledge says it’s “unthinkable” Sedgefield, the seat Blair sat in for 24 years come war, more war and even more war, will turn Tory blue this June. So unthinkable is it that Routledge has written a column on the matter. The Labour candidate for Sedgefield is Phil Wilson, who tells locals: “What people want is someone born and brought up here. Whose kids went to school here.” Tony Blair was born in Edinburgh. He lives in London. Best of luck, Phil.
Daily Express (front page): “Corbyn Doesn’t Believe In Britain.”
Well, so says Theresa May.
Pages 4-5: “Corbyn? He’s a man who has no plan, says May”
The Daily Express produces a phone poll: “Does Corbyn have what it takes to run Britain?” it asks. Calls are 50p each. Keep an open mind before deciding which number to call for ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Keep your mind so open your brains fall out.
Page 5: “Greater Tory majority will ensure Brexit is easier, claims think tank”. The Express campaigned for UKIP and Brexit. Make the link.
Page 5: “Corbyn backed squatters crusade”. In 2013, Corbyn “helped organise a meeting for the Squatters Action for Secure Homes (Squash) at the House of Commons.”
Daily Mail (front page): “Corbyn’s Sly Death Trap”
The paper cites “new figures” which “suggest… Jeremy Corbyn will drag an extra 1.2 million family homes into the grip of inheritance tax if he wins the election.”
Vote Corbyn, then. We can all default on our mortgages and squat for free. The kids will love it. Sleep over! But wait. The “policy is not in the Labour manifesto, but appears in a separate costings document.”
Corbyn is mentioned three times on the Mail’s front page. Theresa May is not mentioned once. Indeed, in this front-page story, Corbyn is name-checked 12 times; May just twice. The Mirror and Mail agree on one thing: the other leader is a vote winner for the wrong side.
Page 6: “Tories go to war with BBC over Left-wing audience bias.” The paper updates readers on that BBC TV debate May did not take part in. Before you watch May and Corbyn on Question Time – yep, there is a televised leaderzzzzzz’ debate – the paper warns readers that the BBC might be biased to the Left.
Page 7: “For those of you a little hard of learning, the paper produces “How ‘impartial’ BBC has kept up a relentless attack on the Tories”.
Page 8-9: We get to learn what else Corbyn doesn’t believe in. “He doesn’t believe in Brexit.” So there.
Daily Star (front page): “TV Caroline Love Isle Lesbian Romps.” Vote now!
Page 4: “Seven Days To Save UK, May Warns Voters”. Corbyn is 7-2 to win the vote. Save your money for something worthwhile, like a Daily Express phone poll or a wishing well.
The Sun (front page): “Corbyn’s magic money tree will cost families extra £3.5k-a-year.”
Corbyn’s manifesto is full of “far-fetched election bribes” that would “blow a £300bn hole in Britain’s finances”. On page 2, the Sun reminds readers that the “hard hitting ‘money-tree’ phrase was coined by Home Secretary Amber Ruud.” Amber. Amber. Amber. The papers love her. May should frisk her for knives.
Page 8: “Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn even believes his cat supports the hard left.” Mr Cobyn says the cat – called ‘El Gato – has shown “socialist tendencies” in allowing a stray cat to share its food.
Jeremy Corbyn has a cat! Dog owners, you know what to do.
Posted: 2nd, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: Manchester United agree terms with Griezmann but don’t want him
Transfer balls: Antione Griezmann is not joining Manchester United. United have “shelved plans to sing Grizemann” (Sun); “United interest in Griezmann fades” (Express and Mirror); and “Ant shoved aside as Jose turns to Lukaku” (Daily Star) tells us all we need to know.
Regular tabloid readers will wonder what happened to the deal Griezmann had agreed to:
And then there are the newspapers that co-opt the newsbots into deceiving their readers. Google search engines don’t spot the question marks that punctuate utter balls. They read it as fact.
So why is Griezmann no longer on his way to United? Have they elbowed him aside? No. The Mirror notes that Atletico Madrid have been hit with a transfer ban for signing underage players. This means they Spanish side will “refuse” to sell their star player. So Griezmann stays in Spain.
The Times says he’s tying in Spain because United “decided instead to pursue a target man in light of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s long-term knee injury.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 2nd, June 2017 | In: Arsenal, Broadsheets, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Key question asked in underage sex case: Is Julie Wadsworth shaggable?
How do you report on the “BBC radio star accused of sex sessions with underage boys”? If you’re the Sun you slap the story on the front page and show Julie Wadsworth, for it is she, wearing short shorts and knee-high boots in a “cheeky snap”.
Inside the paper, spread over page 4 and 5, we see a lot more of Julie Wadsworth.
The key element in the case of the Julie Wadsworth seems to be, ‘Is she’s shaggable?’ The Sun refers to the accused’s alleged sexual activity with children as a “TEEN ROMP”.
The Sun says she denies 12 charges of indecent assault against seven underaged boys. Her husband Tony Wadsworth denies 10 charges of the same offence. The couple deny five counts of outraging public decency.
The rest of us wonder what the accused’s looks have to do with it?
Posted: 2nd, June 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Rare black lion spotted in Leicestershire: panthers warned to be vigilant
A Black Panther is loose in British woods. The “beast” was spotted by a “terrified mum”. She was left “paralysed with fear”. Emma Adam, 29, is quoted in the Star: “Now I’m scared to even leave the house.”
On page 15 of the Daily Star, Emma tells us about coming “face to face” with the black panther in Ashby-de-la-Zouche, Leicestershire. She says it was “eating something, ripping it apart. My mother-in-law and I froze.”
And…? And that’s it. But it’s enough to make front-page news on the Star. We do get to see a photo of a black panther, but not the one Emma says she saw. There are no photos of that beast.
The Star’s scoop is rooted in a story in the Burton Mail. Emma tells it:
“We were having a late barbecue and I felt a bit bloated so we decided to go for a walk.
“It was getting late, so we decided to take a torch – there was just about enough light to walk. As we were coming along the path, I saw something lying down and I was trying to figure out what it was.
“I kept looking at it, and I realised its head was going up and down because it was eating something, ripping it apart. My mother in law and I froze, and we just walked backwards. Luckily it didn’t see us.”
She continued:
“People were saying why didn’t you take a picture of it, but in that moment you are too frightened to take a picture. I always thought they would be very stocky, but this was much thinner.
Like a domestic cat, perhaps. Or a dog. Or a jihadi? Or a rare panther-eating black lion?
Posted: 1st, June 2017 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment
GE17 Cambridge debate: media bias, missing May and Corbyn’s balls
Last night’s election debate featured seven politicians, none of whom were Theresa May. How do the tabloids report on the show at Cambridge University?
The Sun front page: “PM: VOTE TORY FOR BEST BREXIT.”
Having trailed Theresa May’s big speech on Brexit (page 1), used an editorial to argue that she must do more than say “I’m not Jeremy Corbyn” (Page 8) and invited Tory MEP Daniel Hannan on to write below the headline “Dodgy dealer Jezza will Wrexit Britain” (Page 8), readers get to the debate on Pages 10 and 11.
Pages 10 -11: “WEAKEST LINK JEZ – Corbyn walloped by all six opponents in debate.”
The paper says Corbyn’s “surprise” 11th hour decision to take part in the TV debate “backfired”. The show was an “ugly shouting match”. Who won? “The most withering assault on Mr Corbyn came from Tory Home Secretary Amber Rudd.” Corbyn “came under fire for being weak from Leave and Remain supporters”. Corbyn “gaffed on the economy”.
Readers do hear from May, who says: “I think debates where the politicians are squabbling among themselves doesn’t do anything for the process of electioneering.”
Daily Mirror (front page): “Nadia: I’m going bald”.
Bigger than the debate is news that TV presenter Nadia is losing her hair. The debate appears on Pages 6 and 7.
Pages 6 – 7: “Leaderless and heartless – Rivals blast PM’s TV debate no-show. Rudd steps in despite father’s death.”
The paper begins by telling readers that Corbyn changed his mind about taking part in the debate. Why? We’re not told. But it looks like it was about upstaging May, who “left Amber Rudd to parrot the Tory line – despite the Home Secretary’s father dying 48 hours earlier.” In the paper’s mind that means May is “heartless”. But surely Rudd wanted to take part. And doesn’t carrying on in the face of personal pain suggest a strong and – lest it go unsaid – stable character?
As for why she was chosen to take part – or chose to: shadow home secretary Diane Abbott had been booked to argue Labour’s case. Home Secretary Rudd v Abbott would have been a valid debate. No?
The paper also notes that the SNP leader, Nicola Sturgeon, for it is she, “sent her deputy Angus Robertson”. Nicola wasn’t there either. The Mirror says the Green’s Caroline Lucas, LibDem’s Tim Farron and Plaid Cymru’s Leanne Wood mocked May for her no show; Sturgeon escaped any attack.
The Mirror says Rudd “struggled” and “squirmed”. Corbyn was “stunning”. The audience”cheered” Corbyn.
Daily Mail (front page): “FURY AT BIAS ON BBC TV DEBATE – TV chiefs under fire over ‘the most Left win audience ever’.”
The paper says “even BBC presenter Mishal Husain was heckled when she pointed out he [Corbyn] had been unable to set out the cost of his flagship child care policy”. Corbyn was “repeatedly cheered despite a meandering performance”.
The paper’s quote about the audience being skewed towards Corbyn comes from George Eaton, “political editor of the Labour-supporting New Statesman magazine”, who opined:” This feels like the most left-wing audience in any TV debate.”
Page 6: “CORBYN’S L-LA-LAND ECONOMICS”
Page 7: “An audience as balanced as a gorilla on a unicycle,” says Quentin Letts – in a view about as balanced as a trout on LSD. Jeremy Corbyn, evasive on immigration, was rewarded with whoops and wolf whistles. Welcome to the BBC!” May did well to stay away from this “bent, babyish custard-pie fight”. It was a “demeaning brawl”. Corbyn and Robertson “found themselves sniping simultaneously at Miss Rudd. Two angry men shouting at a younger women. Great look, guys.” So much for equality (and gerraload of Amber’s legs!).
Daily Express (front page): “Corbyn’s Plot To Bring In Migrant Workers”
The debate features first on page 5.
Page 5: “Rudd blasts the ‘Jeremy money tree’.”
Rudd mocked Corbyn for his “fantasy economics” in a “heated live television clash”. May is praised for sticking to her decision not to take part whilst Corbyn U-turned. Rudd landed “body blows” on Corbyn. And, er, that’s it.
Daily Star (front page): “Corbyn does a U-turn”
Page 4: “Corbyn’s U-Turn”. The Labour leader “tried to wrongfoot Theresa May”.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 1st, June 2017 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
After Manchester: Salman Abedi and the stupidity of anti-marijuana campaigns
Salman Abedi murdered 22 people at a pop concert because… he smoked marijuana. Rather than leading to long spells sat on the sofa watching daytime telly, weed turns you into someone who massacres families at an Ariana Grade concert in Manchester.
Well, maybe it does.
Dr Max Pemberton asks, “Is marijuana a factor in jihadi murders?” The Mail adds portraits of all the losers who murdered so many people in Tunisia, London, Nice, Orlando and Paris. All adhered to radical Islam. All saw the West as their enemy and murder as a duty. But Pemberton wonders if cannabis might be to blame.
If you want a meaningful debate on drugs, it might be better to turn the question around: why are so many attracted to smoking it?
The Mail’s poser is an agenda-driven, to-deadline question perched atop a weak argument. The idea that weed was a factor – that getting wasted made it “easier to disregard the welfare of others” and butcher them – absolves individual terrorists of responsibility for their actions. It wasn’t me. It was the weed.
So we can answer the Mail’s question very simple. It’s ‘no’. They don’t get off that easily.
How British newspapers changed their front pages after the Manchester attack
As the engaging and insightful Liz Gerard writes, the way the Press responded to the attack in Manchester “demonstrates the intrinsic honesty and desire to tell the story that draws most journalists to the trade.
The papers we see every day are the results of hours of debate, discussion, orders from on high. Stories and pictures are often chosen to press an agenda – be it for Left or Right. But when a story like the Manchester bombing breaks late, true journalistic instincts kick in. The “agenda” goes out of the window.
All those hours spent pondering how to portray Corbyn in the worst light, May in the best (or vice-versa) are as nothing when real life intrudes. You just tell the story.
Unless you work for the Express, of course. Then dementia still runs in the family. But on this occasion that’s about lack of investment, rather (I hope) than incompetence.
Today the politicisers will be back in action. The events in Manchester will be spun to suit the agenda. Tomorrow’s papers won’t have this morning’s rough honesty.
The pity is that so few people see these efforts.
Well done my trade.(edited)
More on the Express’s here.
Posted: 24th, May 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Sir Roger Moore mocks the Daily Mail
Sir Roger Moore was top bloke. He was a terrific James Bond, an incarnation most closely aligned to Ian Fleming’s literary creation. When the Daily Maily mocked him, Moore responded with exquisite style and trademark grace:
Posted: 24th, May 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester bomber Salman Abedi IS, isn’t and was
The Daily Mail rushes to tell us that “an ISIS suicide bomber who slaughtered 22 people at Manchester Arena last night has been named as Salman Abedi.”
It’s not been confirmed that the murderer was a member of Islamic State. But, go on…
Abedi detonated a deadly explosive that ripped through crowds leaving an Ariana Grande concert at 10.30pm.
This morning, ISIS claimed responsibility and threatened further attacks, saying ‘one of the caliphate’s soldiers placed bombs within a gathering of the Crusaders’. Prime Minister Theresa May revealed this morning that security services know the attacker’s name.
It’s Salman Abedi, right?
There are unconfirmed reports that the terrorist was British…
Fact: we don’t know.
…and that he may have been known to police before the massacre.
Translation: he may not have ben known to police before the massacre.
Police are trying to determine whether he acted alone or was part of a wider terror cell.
Conclusion: We have no idea.
The Indy:
Local reports said Abedi was the child of Libyan refugees who fled to the UK to flee Muammar Gaddafi’s regime, and was one of four children.
Local reports in – get this – the USA.
The Sun is more factual:
COWARD REVEALED Manchester terror attack bomber revealed as 22-year-old British national Salman Abedi who grew up in the area alongside his three brothers
And:
THE Brit-born suicide bomber behind the Manchester atrocity has been named as Salman Abedi. The identity of the 22-year-old was revealed after teams of armed cops swooped on his address in Fallowfield, Manchester.
Does anyone else prefer to wait for the evening news report and get some facts?
Arsenal balls: ‘Sanchez damaged Gunners by training on his day off’ – Keown
“PRIMA GUNNERS,” accuses the Sun on Tuesday. “Keown blasts over-indulged Alexis and Ozil.”
Gunner-turned pundit Martin Keown has a view on Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez. They damaged Arsenal with their behaviour, says Martin. What did they do? And did they do it worse than Francis Coquelin, Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott, Alex Iwobi or Kieran Gibbs?
“It became about Ozil and Sanchez for too long in the season. Their behaviour let Arsenal down in that period,” says Keown. “Sanchez is a difficult man to manage off the pitch. I was at the training ground on one of his days off and he suddenly turned up and was bouncing around the training pitch.”
The nutcase turned up on a day off and trained. The selfish, useless c…!
“They were having to facilitate him and put a training session on for him,” Keown continues. “It’s not necessarily about you as a player – you have to fit in as well with the group.”
Maybe if all the other Arsenal played trained on their days off, the Gunners might have done better?
As for Ozil, says Martin:
“If I was playing in some of the games when Ozil doesn’t get a perfect pass, I would have been in his ear telling him my bit. ”
Ready? It’s going to be long break in play as Martin critiques his team-mate mid-match:
“I’d have said, ‘I’m trying to give the ball to you, don’t disrespect me in the way you do when I don’t get the ball to you. And how about you working just as hard out of possession as I’m working out of possession? I can’t ever get close to the creativity you can create but I want you to work hard when we are not in possession – because we’re not quite good enough to win things without every single player applying himself in possession and out of possession.'”
Why can’t Ozil be more like Keown? Answer in the form of a long ball into the cheap seats.
Posted: 23rd, May 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester terror fake news: Daily Mail looks for phantom missing children (in Australia!)
More fake news from the mainstream media as the Daily Mail appeals for help finding children missing after the slaughter at Manchester Arena. The paper tells readers: “Parents are trying to find children missing after explosion at Ariana Grande gig in Manchester.”
The tweet is popular; the Mail is on it.
Don’t panic.
And:
Photographer Rachel Devine was shocked to see the picture of her 12 year old daughter Gem being circulated on the internet, when she was in fact safe at school.
The Melbourne mum has told the Hit Network, she just wants people to know her daughter is safe and well. “I have no idea who stole her image or why.”
Twenty-two people went to a pop concert and never came home. And the media works out how to milk them for advertising clicks and retweets.
