Tabloids Category
The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.
Grab Her By The Pussy: Donald Trump inspires tabloid sex crimes and porn
It’s Day 1 in the World According to Donald Trump and already his fellow reality TV stars are feeling the aftershock. President Trump’s catchphrase – “Grab her by the pussy” – is all over the Daily Star.
“Cami Lee sexually assaulted: Big Brother star molested as boyfriend slept beside her,” says the paper.
Like most of you, we too have no idea who Cami Lee is. Helpfully, she recognises this and introduces herself.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Cami Li, reporting live from Las Vegas. Think tatts, boobs, and more opinions than Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan put together.
Are her boobs larger than Morgan’s? Dunno. Is she tattier than Hopkins? Not sure? Is she cheaper to have write for your organ than both of them? Says Cami:
So, what could I possibly have to talk about? Well, a f*** load of s***.
If Cami is cheaper that Hopkins and Morgan, and paid by the word, swearing just cost her a couple of quid. She then goes into flashback mode. It’s a deeply unpleasant story.
I, for one, became more passionate about politics after these five (now infamous words) were splashed across the world, “grab her by the p****”.
Cami is in bed. A man is in her room. He is making unwelcome advances.
The freak of nature slips his hands under my jeans, caresses my butt, then tries to make his way to the motherland. He attempts to slide one finger, and for once, I am thankful I ate too much and am bloated with wine, as my jeans are too tight, with little room to move around.
Once he realises he wouldn’t get away with his perversion without waking me up, he retreats. While the ordeal may’ve lasted a few minutes, it has scarred me for an eternity.
After this alleged assault, Cami relates a bout of violence with the middle-aged “beast”. “My boyfriend punched him, knocked him to ground, then the door was slammed repeatedly,” she writes. “Open, close, open, close, open, close.” Next days the man seeks medical help for a broken eye-socket
Cami says she old the authorities but a lack of funds meant she was unable to pursue the matter further. “At that time in my life, I wasn’t financially able to retain a lawyer and fight this rich couple, so I had to hang my head in defeat and walk away,” she writes.
Cami concludes her tale:
Take a step back, look in the mirror, male or female, we’re the change the world needs to see. Women’s rights are human rights. There are too many Donald Trumps in this world.
In other unrelated news, we read that back in April, Daily Star owner Richard Desmond “cut his last remaining ties to the pornography industry, selling adult entertainment channels including Television X, Viewers’ Wives and Red Hot.”
Good for him. Those channels have not alway shown the good stuff.
The Guardian reported:
A viewer of adult subscription channel Television X had complained after a baby’s legs were caught on camera for a few seconds in the background of a scene in which three women were simulating lesbian sex. The baby could also be heard out of shot, gurgling and crying, later in the scene, which was filmed in a bedroom for Television X’s Viewers’ Tapes programme.
The channel apologised.
This week you can watch on Channel X:
Sexual Predator: “Jay Romer came for the thrill of the hunt… to f*** his female prey. In his sexual underworld there are no rules, just his desire to ravage beautiful women… Through the urban London jungle Jason poses as a photographer to bang Michelle B. he acts as a barman to plough into Elizabeth Michelle Lawrence… He buries his thick **** into Evie’s tight hole while still looking for his next victim!“
Looks like women were victims before Trump came along.
Posted: 10th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Game of Thrones spoilers
Books. Ever hear of them? The Sun says “SHOCK LEAK Game of Thrones fans sent into a frenzy as ‘entire plot for season seven leaks online’”. Games of Thrones is based on a series of books by George R.R. Martin. If you want to know what happens in the TV version, why not just, you know, read the books?
Yes, yes, the TV version does differ from the books. Producer David Benioff says the show is “about adapting the series as a whole and following the map George laid out for us and hitting the major milestones, but not necessarily each of the stops along the way”. But you get the gist of the plot.
The Mail says “a Reddit user going by the name awayforthelads posted an enormous list of very detailed spoilers”.
How do we know to trust awayforthelads? Maybe they made it up? After all, the Sun looks at the leaks and says it is”reveals a pregnancy and a saucy romp between two main characters”. Sex in Game of Thrones is like the weather at the end of the evening news. It’s expected. As for a pregnancy, the show is about dynasties. Kids are part of the process.
And then comes the truly conniving part: the Mail wants to turn the taps open on that leak.
If you want to read the leaks, you can, of course. If you enjoy escapism, you might want to pass over the leaks and just wait for the entertainment.
Posted: 8th, November 2016 | In: Books, Reviews, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
One-eyed reporting on Rob Van Persie: former Arsenal and Man United striker not blind
Is Robin Van Persie blind? Has the former Arsenal captain and Manchester United striker succumbed to a dreadful eye injury? The Sun suggests there are “fears he will never see again”.
A click on the story and we’re told:
There were fears that the Dutchman could have lost his sight in the clash.
Well, yes. Fears not exactly discouraged by the Sun’s reporting:
Inverted commas (just like question marks – see pretty much every transfer news story in the Mirror) don’t show up in Google News. So what is complete balls can be presented as fact.
Will Van Persie see again? Yes. First up, he damaged one eye – a ripped eyelid. Van Persie has two eyes. His being blinded was never likely.
The Sun reports: “Fenerbahce doctor Burak Kunduracıoğl seemed to quash fears…”. He seemed to quash fears? Not quite. He quashed them flat. He said: “After the investigations we learned that nothing important happened… His condition is good.”
Says Van Persie: “My eye is not damaged.”
Robin Van Persie is not blind – but the Sun’s reporting is a tad monocular.
Posted: 7th, November 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Chicago Cubs: six million fans rejoice (if you double count everyone in the city)
Like you we too are delighted the Clubs Cubes Cubs won the World Series of baseball for the first time since in ages – but still faster than is takes Theresa May to make a decsion. The Mail sees the celebrations:
The fall classic! Daredevil Cubs fans risk their lives with crazy ‘trust falls’ as SIX MILLION pack the streets of Chicago to celebrate their World Series win 108 years in the making
Six million people on the streets of Chicago, a city with a population of 2,720,546?
The Chicago Tribune is circumspect
By Chicago’s Office of Emergency Management and Communication’s count, an estimated 5 million people lined the 6-mile parade route and gathered at the rally in Grant Park. But — like other official crowd counts — there’s reason to be skeptical, experts say…
“The guesstimates are almost always vast exaggerations,” said Clark McPhail, a sociology professor emeritus at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 5th, November 2016 | In: Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Ben Needham: gypsies, a dead witness and a ‘cover-up’
Ben Needham has still not been found. The renewed search for the toddler who vanished on Kos 25 years ago has given us nothing of substance. But the tabloids are at work. If we can’t see the child, we can continue to gawp at his mother.
“‘WHITEWASH’ ON KOS,” says the Sun. “Ben Needham case ‘has all signs of a cover-up’ with sex slurs used to discredit toddler’s mum.”
The story continues:
THE hunt for toddler Ben Needham – who went missing on the Greek island of Kos 25 years ago – has the signs of a cover-up, an investigation found. Greek police were “under pressure” to end their probe quickly, reports The Mirror, and a witness apparently falsely claimed he had slept with Ben’s mum Kerry in an attempt to smear her.
Wow, indeed, that Greek police have spoken out. Good on them. But wait a moment.
…a retired cop, one of the first to join the hunt, admitted: “We were under pressure to close the case. Everyone wanted to find the child. We did our best.”
Unnamed ex-policeman says force was under pressure to end the case of the missing toddler who vanished on holiday to an holiday island? It’s news devoid of detail.
In the Mirror, we read he headline:
Ben Needham case has hallmarks of cover-up with cops wanting probe closed quickly and sex lies in bid to blacken mum’s name
We love a conspiracy, eh, readers? Who knew?
British police searching for answers to the disappearance of the toddler 25 years ago have tried hard to finally lift the gloom
Lucy Thornton writes:
The Ben Needham case has all the hallmarks of a cover-up, a Mirror probe has found. The Mirror can reveal Greek police were pressured to close their inquiry quickly and a witness lied that he slept with the boy’s mum, blackening her name.
A key witness account on Kos is missing and a Greek official has dismissed the UK police’s theory that Ben was run over by a digger.
As the last British tourists leave Kos at the end of the holiday season, a sinister cloud hangs over the island.
After that, Thornton makes it about, well, her.
Mirror colleagues and I have spent months investigating the mystery and found claims of a Greek “cover-up” as wicked lies, vanishing statements and smears against the family were made.
This is the Lucy Thornton who when reporting on the vanishing of Shannon Matthews, wrote: “I’ve shared the despair and relief, says the Mirror’s Lucy Thornton.” Adding: “Meanwhile, I was hugged in the street by people I barely knew less than a month ago. They thanked me. What For? For just doing my job.”
Never mind the missing child, get a load of the reporter.
Mirror colleagues and I have spent months investigating the mystery and found claims of a Greek “cover-up” as wicked lies, vanishing statements and smears against the family were made.
She then adds:
Rumours continue on the island, that Ben was taken by gypsies, or the mafia.
After the wicked- lies and “cover-up”, round-up the usual suspects. Gypsies. Always the gypsies.
Independent on Ben Needham – 1995. ‘Gypsies did it’
In 2000, the BBC reported:
Theories have included Ben having been killed, abducted by gypsies or sold on to a family who could not have a child, but police have never closed the file.
And in 1997, the Sunday Mirror reported:
The search for Ben has become a crusade for Greek private eye Stratos Bakirtzis from Thessalonika, northern Greece. Two years ago he raised the alarm and told police he had found the missing toddler while investigating a gipsy family. However, he claims the child was swapped before police could search the house.
So much for rumours and belief. What of facts, and the Mirror’s investigation?
Kerry believes there has been a cover-up over her son’s death and people wanted her to “go away….and forget about Ben”.
More belief. And facts?
In a bid to smear the Needham name, a man who worked with Kerry at a hotel on Kos falsely claimed to have slept with her, while she was out hunting for Ben. He left Kos shortly after making the allegation. He turned public opinion against the unmarried British mum and many blamed the family as a result. But Kerry has now been told by South Yorkshire Police officers this witness has finally told the truth.
He confessed it was a lie, but claimed he felt bullied into it. It is understood prosecutors on Kos are looking at this admission.
As we are invited to understand what the Mirror has understood, we hear from the unnamed source:
But he said his main reason for speaking was to reveal the statement of a mysterious witness, a friend of his, was never taken because bosses ignored his report. “He told me he’d seen a car with number plates from abroad. It had two people in the car and they were not Greek people. The witness said the child was playing outside and someone stepped out of the car and took him. My friend does not lie. I went back but once he knew the child was still missing he didn’t want to speak.
Can we speak with the witness?
He said the witness, like so many others, has since died.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 1st, November 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester United balls: who forced Henrikh Mkhitaryan to train alone?
“Henrikh Mkhitaryan: Manchester United outcast trains alone after Burnley draw,” reports the Daily Express.
“Henrikh Mkhitaryan was made to train alone on Sunday,” states the Independent.
The Armenian is an “outcast”. He was “made” to train on his own. The impression is clear: Mkhitaryan has been ostracised.
But it’s total balls. Manchester Evening News has a different version:
United players were given Sunday off by Jose Mourinho but Mkhitaryan chose to enhance his fitness at the club’s training complex, contrary to reports claiming he was made to train alone.
M.E.N. Sport understands Mkhitaryan has always done additional training sessions dating back to his stint at Shakhtar Donetsk and a source described him as a ‘perfectionist and a hard worker’.
He wasn’t made to do anything. He wanted to get fitter and do his best to get back in the team.
Spotter: Pies
Posted: 31st, October 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester United balls: injured Eric Bailly finds God’s unwilling to save his 2016
Manchester United fans can read in the Mirror that their team’s defender Eric Bailly is injured and will not play again in 2016. Readers are told: “MANCHESTER UNITED are on red alert with the fear of Eric Bailly being out for the rest of the year.”
It’s an “exclusive” story.
It should not be confused with the non-exclusive story reported by the Mail, Evening Standard, the BBC and more that Bailly will miss the next two months. The Guardian notes: “Manchester United’s Eric Bailly out until Christmas with knee injury.”
Having added another week onto Bailly’s estimated rehabilitation schedule and presented it as an “exclusive”, the Mirror goes for the bonus balls by thundering: “Eric Bailly hopes to play for Manchester United before year’s end despite knee ligament injury.” Hope if swiftly followed by pragmatism: “Manchester United are preparing to be without their star centre-back for the rest of 2016 following his second-half injury against Chelsea.”
That comes after Bailly tweeted: “I hope to be able to play again for United and The Elephants before 2 months, God willing. Thanks for always being there!”
Look out for the Mirror’s next big news story: “EXCLUSIVE: BAILLY says only god can save his 2016.”
Posted: 26th, October 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Harry Redknapp’s wife Sandra in freak car accident – Daily Mail digs up old horrors
Harry Redknapp was dropping his wife Sandra in Westbourne, a suburb of Bournemouth, when her coat got caught in the door of his Range Rover. The Indy says the 69-year-old [Sandra] “screamed with agony on the pavement after being dragged along the road”.
An eyewitness tells the Sun:
“I was in a shop and a couple of people came in and said, ‘Crikey, there’s a lady who’s been dragged along the road’, then someone else came in and said it was Harry Redknapp who had just dropped his wife off. I heard as he drove off she got her coat caught in the door. She was dragged along the road before he realised. I think she has been badly injured.”
The Indy says there was lots of blood.
The Telegraph identifies the car: “Harry Redknapp drags wife along road in ‘freak accident’ in his Range Rover.”
This private horror is then given the Daily Mail treatment. Can it be possible to attack a man who has been left “shaken” buy seeing his wife hurt? Yes, The Mail sees fit to include this in its report:
In 2006, the BBC’s investigative programme Panorama showed Mr Redknapp on camera expressing his interest in approaching a player illegally in order to arrange a transfer.
Following an investigation by HMRC in 2010, he was charged with two counts of cheating the public revenue, but was later found not guilty at a trial.
It then concludes:
Last night, representatives for Mr Redknapp denied that an incident had taken place.
Get well soon, Sandra.
Posted: 20th, October 2016 | In: Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Kelvin MacKenzie and the Sun beat Channel 4 News and a hijab
On July 18, the Sun featured a column but its former editor Kelvin MacKenzie in which he asked, “Why did Channel 4 have a presenter in a hijab fronting coverage of Muslim terror in Nice?”.
That the question was rhetorical became apparent in the next line: “Would C4 have used a Hindu to report on the carnage at the Golden Temple of Amritsar…of course not.”
And again: “Would the station have used an Orthodox Jew to cover the Israeli-Palestine conflict? Of course not.
Hundreds complained to Ipso, the press regulator. This meant lots of people were talking about the Sun and MacKenzie – and so both became relevant.
MacKenzie posed more questions:
…I could hardly believe my eyes. The presenter was not one of the regulars — Krishnan Guru-Murthy, Matt Frei or Cathy Newman — but a young lady wearing a hijab. Her name is Fatima Manji and she has been with the station for four years. Was it appropriate for her to be on camera when there had been yet another shocking slaughter by a Muslim?
Was it done to stick one in the eye of the ordinary viewer who looks at the hijab as a sign of the slavery of Muslim women by a male- dominated and clearly violent religion?
So why did they do it?
…
With all the major terrorist outrages in the world currently being carried out by Muslims, I think the rest of us are reasonably entitled to have concerns about what is beating in their religious hearts. Who was in the studio representing our fears?
Questions upon questions. And like all good columnists, MacKenzie triggered a heated debate.
Manji called MacKenzie’s words “ill-informed, racist and Islamophobic”.
Ben De Pear, who edits the Channel 4 news show, said:
“Whilst we agree that freedom of expression is a fundamental right, we do not believe that it should be used as a licence to incite or discriminate. His inflammatory comments on Fatima Manji’s professional status, which were widely condemned, and his attempts to equate the wearing of a hijab with support for terrorism, have no place in a properly informed and tolerant society… We employ reporters based on their journalistic skills, not their ethnicity. We see no reason why a Muslim journalist should be prevented from covering any story and Fatima will continue to report and present the news on the issues of the day with impartiality and depth. We are grateful for all the support shown to Fatima during this difficult time.”
Difficult time? Really? (See those questions are catchy.) Channel 4 is hardly a fan of the Sun and its readers. Surely the broadcaster got some satisfaction from MacKenzie’s rant? Prejudices, you know, we do so love them when we can back them up with evidence. Manji did not like it. But Ipso has rejected her complaints.
“There can be no doubt that this was deeply offensive to the complainant and caused widespread concern and distress to others. This was demonstrated by the number of complaints IPSO received.
“The article was highly critical of Channel 4 for permitting a newsreader to wear the hijab. It also contained pejorative references to Islam. But the essential question for the committee was whether those references were directed at the complainant.
“Clause 12 seeks to protect individuals while respecting the fundamental right to freedom of expression enshrined in the preamble to the code.
“The article did refer to the complainant. But it did so to explain what triggered the discussion about a subject of legitimate debate: whether newsreaders should be allowed to wear religious symbols.
“While the columnist’s opinions were undoubtedly offensive to the complainant, and to others, these were views he had been entitled to express. The article did not include a prejudicial or pejorative reference to the complainant on the grounds of her religion.
“Clause 3 seeks to protect individuals from harassment. In the light of its findings under Clause 12, and given that the course of conduct complained of was the publication of a single article on a matter which, while sensitive, was the subject of legitimate public debate, the Committee took the view that it did not amount to harassment under Clause 3.
“The columnist’s view that Islam is ‘clearly a violent religion’ was a statement of his opinion. This view, however extreme or offensive to many, did not raise a breach of Clause 1.
“The suggestion that the complainant was a ‘pawn in this tv news game’ was clearly conjecture, and underlined that the author’s criticism was directed at Channel 4 and not at the individual newsreader. There was no breach of Clause 1.”
Kelvin MacKenzie and newspapers are still relevant after al these years. Who knew?
Posted: 19th, October 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester United’s Anthony Martial says he didn’t refer to ‘Anthony Martial’ in ‘fake’ Daily Mirror interview
Did you see the Anthony Martial interview in the Daily Mirror? The Manchester United player did, tweeting:
In “Anthony Martial insists Manchester United fans haven’t seen him at his best yet”, the Mirror’s Chris Hatherall shares Martial’s words. No sources are cited. As for the player’s comments, well the highlight is when he talks of himself in the third person: “I don’t think you have seen the true Martial at Man United yet. I know I can perform better, I know I can do more.”
That line is repeated in the Sun:
Martial told the Mirror: “It’s a big season for me and I want to be better than last year. I don’t think you have seen the true Martial at Man United yet. I know I can perform better, I know I can do more.
“But I’m convinced this season can be my year. It’s a feeling I have.”
Maybe another Anthony Martial spoke to the Mirror?
Posted: 18th, October 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Ched Evans: The witch-hunt continues
Former Sheffield untied footballer Ched Evans is innocent. You might not like him. You might think him a scumbag, a low-life or hard done by. But one thing he is not is a rapist. A conviction for rape was quashed on appeal. A retrial found him not guilty. End of. What might have been a typical night out has damaged lives.
So how do you report on the Evan’s acquittal?
The Star goes for his apology and crying.
The Sun goes for his balls.
An innocent man – one guilty of committing no crime – is branded “GUILTY” on the front page.
Is this part of a ploy to woo the woman Evans was accused of raping? She is now able to sell her story. The Sun would surely buy it.
The paper follows an attack on him with another story about idiots on Twitter who rush to judgement.
‘A DIRTY LITTLE B****’ Ched Evans’ supporters troll his accuser as footballer is found not guilty of rape
THE teen waitress who accused Ched Evans of raping her in a hotel room has been viciously trolled on Twitter in the wake of his not guilty verdict. The woman – who cannot be named – was subjected to a barrage of online abuse after Evans was sensationally cleared of rape this afternoon.
Her life has been damaged. She has a new identity and has “moved far from her North Wales home”. Do not name her. It is a criminal offence to do so.
The Sun picks out a few quotes from bleeding hearts in the Twitter mob who want the woman to suffer more.
One wrote: “Hope the stupid s*** who is guilty for getting for getting Ched Evans sent to prison and ruining his life gets named and shamed for life ruined.” Another added: “Poor Ched Evans. The girl who accused him of rape should be locked up. She basically ended his career that piece of s**t.”
The case against Evans was approved by Crown Prosecution Service. Their task was to prove guilt beyond any reasonable doubt. They failed.
In the Daily Mirror, Alison Phillips writes: “What woman in her right mind would go to the police this morning if she were raped last night after too much to drink? I wouldn’t.”
Chief Crown Prosecutor for CPS Wales Ed Beltrami says:
“We respect the decision of the jury today. This case hinged on the issue of sexual consent – that someone consents if they agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice. Being drunk does not mean a person relinquishes their right to consent, that they are to blame for being attacked or that they were ‘fair game’.”
The trial judge words should be noted. Ms Justice Nicola Davies instructed the jury:
“Your decision must be made calmly, objectively and without emotion. You are not here to judge the morals of any person in this case and this includes the complainant and the defendant. You are to try this case on the evidence you hear in this court in this trial and nothing else.”
She directed the jurors to consider three questions:
Question 1:
Are you sure that when the defendant intentionally penetrated the vagina of the complainant she did not consent to it? If you are sure that she did not consent, go to question two. If you conclude that she did consent or may have consented your verdict is NOT GUILTY.
Question 2:
Are you sure that the defendant did NOT genuinely believe that the complainant consented? If you are sure that the defendant did not believe the complainant was consenting, your verdict is GUILTY.
If you conclude the defendant did believe or may have believed that the complainant was consenting go to question three.
Question 3:
Are you sure that the defendant’s belief in the complainant’s consent was unreasonable? If you are sure it was not a reasonably held belief then your verdict is GUILTY. If you conclude that it was or may have been a reasonably held belief then your verdict is NOT GUILTY.
Matt Dickinson nots in the Times: “Just because it isn’t rape, doesn’t mean it isn’t misogynistic and nasty.”
In the Telegraph, we read: “‘Team Ched’ show just how sick football culture in Britain is.”
The established facts of what happened at the Premier Inn near Rhyl on the night of May 30, 2011, are sordid enough: Evans lied, as he admitted in court, to obtain the key that gained access to the bedroom, did not speak to the young woman before, during or after sex, then left the hotel by a fire exit…
As for the impression of contrition, forget it. His statement on Friday that he “wholeheartedly apologised to anyone who might have been affected by the events of the night in question” does not square with the fact that he has stood by while a website has published horrendous character assassinations of the woman concerned. Her life, to a greater extent even than his, has been ruined. If a man such as Evans is now to be made a martyr, then the culture of football in Britain truly is sicker than we thought.
The Indy has more:
Robert Brown, a partner at Corkerbinning, told The Independent: “In a jury trial, as in this case, it is for the prosecution to persuade the jury beyond reasonable doubt that the defendant is guilty.
“The verdict means that a particular jury was not satisfied beyond reasonable doubt of [Mr Evan’s] guilt. It is not the same as saying the woman has lied.
“Saying she should be prosecuted for perverting the course of justice is a complete non sequitur. The Crown Prosecution Service could prosecute her if there’s evidence she was deliberately lying, but there is no evidence of that.
“The fact that the jury don’t give any motive for their decision is one of the reasons why you cannot say this woman should be prosecuted. “Because it may be that the evidence from the woman was not the deciding factor in the case.”
Do you believe in the rule of law? Do you believe a person is innocent until proven otherwise? If you do, you can read about Ched Evans and move on. If not, you can continue to use an ugly story to support your own pet theories, businesses, causes and prejudices. You can join in the witch-hunt.
Posted: 15th, October 2016 | In: Back pages, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: The Sun creates a Gareth Bale to Manchester United out of nothing
Is Gareth Bale moving to Manchester United? No. We told you he was staying at Real Madrid. Every story you ever read about Bale wanting to join Man United is wrong. Stories like these from the Sun in recent days:
28 Aug 2016 – MANCHESTER UNITED are plotting an audacious £100million move for Real Madrid’s Welsh wizard Gareth Bale.
23 Sep 2016 – Gareth Bale to Manchester United: Real Madrid star wants to leave Bernabeu with Old Trafford preferred destination.”
And so to today’s Sun news that Bale is not going to play for any club other than Real Madrid. He does not want to leave the Bernabeu.
And how does the Sun present this story. Yes, as a story about Manchester United story:
Gareth Bale to Manchester United: Real Madrid superstar to sign new contract at the Bernabeu until 2022
In tomorrows news: “Manchester United: Ronaldo not signing for Man United either.”
Posted: 13th, October 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Liverpool: The Sun fails to Watch Henderson
Liverpool captain Jordan Henderson is subjected to the Sun’s “Hendo Watch”. The paper kept a constant eye on the likeable and hard-working Henderson as he captained England in Slovenia.
Facts:
The Liverpool midfielder led from the front..
But it was still a decent audition from Henderson…
Hendo was the player organising the troops and trying to get something on a tricky night…
He dropped really deep to try to dictate play from the back, a role he could adopt in the future instead of raiding forward…
And that’s it. The BBC didn’t operate a Henderson Watch. But it notes:
He [Joe Hart] twice denied Josip Ilicic when he was played in by poor backpasses from Eric Dier and captain Jordan Henderson
The Sun never saw that pass. The BBC mentions it twice:
Hart – who was the clear man of the match in this game – looked back to his best, rescuing Dier and Henderson when dreadful backpasses let in Ilicic.
Make that three times:
Shambolic England… The errors by Dier and Henderson would have been punished by opposition of a higher calibre and England threatened to crumble in the early moments of the second half – only to be saved by Hart.
Is there any reason the Sun – a paper hated by the Reds’ faithful following its hideous Hillsborough coverage – failed to see the error from Liverpool’s captain as it watched his every move?
Posted: 12th, October 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Media balls: Arsenal’s Granit is better than Man United’s Rooney but not a ‘capable’ as Southampton’s Steven Davis
Who are “The 50 best players in the Premier League”? You could decide this with transfer fees, goals scored, goals conceded, where a player polled in the PFA awards and the Football writers’ awards, FIFA 17 ranking and any number of statistics betting shops and fantasy leagues use to gage players.
The Mirror has opted for with guessing. Lowlights are:
48: “He’s still trying to find his feet at the Emirates, but there have already been signs – notably his goal at Hull – that the quality he has could lead him to be a top-15 player on lists such as this in future.”
Fingers crossed Granit makes 15. Will he be happy with a Top 20 spot?
We also learn that Anthony Martial (46 – Manchester United) is better than Wayne Rooney (50 – Manchester United).
Others are capable:
Steve Davis (47 – Southampton): “Capable in a variety of roles.”
Martial (as above): “He’s capable of beating a man to tee up a teammate or score himself.”
Ross Barkley (45 – Everton): “He’s capable of running a game from midfield.”
And on it goes. Over the next few days the Mirror will continue its countdown.
PS: For those of you who can’t wait to see who is top of the heap, in September 2016 the Mirror said the best player in the Premier League is Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He’s a capable lad.
Posted: 10th, October 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Kim Kardashian: milking the social media socialite for stolen jewels
Five robbers stole millions of pounds worth of jewellery and two cell phones from social media socialite Kim Kardashian in Paris. They held a gun to her head, says Sky news.
The tabloids lap it up.
The Mail wonders what really happened. “What IS the truth behind the heist?” it asks. Well, we don’t know because the culprits have yet to be caught. But the Mail’s headline is suggestive of some kind of plot on the victim’s side. We don’t know the facts but let’s hold our noses and take a hard look at the victim. That seems fair.
The Mail then invites Alison Boshoff to write:
As ratings for Keeping Up With The Kardashians keep falling, is it any wonder Kim’s gunpoint ordeal is seen by some as a huge PR stunt.
Having appraised her stolen jewels and found them wanting, Boshoff says:
Good taste aside, the mother-of-two, who was robbed at gunpoint by five masked men who tied her up in the bathroom of a luxury Paris apartment in the early hours of Monday while they stole £7.8 million of jewellery, may now be reflecting that it could have been a tad unwise to show off her wealth so ostentatiously.
As the Queen pulls on her crown and answers the door to the ‘CID’, Boshoff sees fit to repeat a few of the voices who have wondered aloud about where Kim’s security at 2am (her bodyguard Pascal Duvie as in nightclub with her siblings) and why the TV cameras were not filming the crime. Where was the woman who holds her skin in place as Kim sleeps? Why was Kim selfie implant not woking?
Boshoff then delivers a long review of Kim’s career as a reality TV star.
What the point of her article is other than to cast shade on the victim of an armed robbery, we can’t be certain. Maybe it just exists to fill space. We can add Boshoff’s to-deadline article to the – get this – 36 other Daily Mail articles on the robbery. So much for those falling rating. Kim is click-tastic in the Mail!
As for the crime, well, the Sun sums up well:
The last word on the robbery is with Sarah Ditum, who tells Indy readers: “Kim Kardashian did not deserve to be robbed just because she learned the truth about being female and famous.”
Oh. Are you sure the telly star didn’t deserve to be attacked, fear she would be raped and robbed? Her last show was a bit dull. Says Ditum:
Who can blame her for recognising a primary truth of being female and famous – that either you profit from your exposure, or someone else does – and trying to control it? Judging from the reactions to this robbery, a lot of people do.
Add that to the hundreds of articles on Kim Kardashian published today.
Posted: 4th, October 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester City balls: ‘Obscene’ Raheem Sterling v The Sun
Manchester CIty’s Raheem Sterling is “THE HATED ONE” So says the Sun ,which says the Manchester City “star”, a player “reborn under Pep Guardiola despite coming under attack from fans this summer”. The paper laments the “torrent of abuse” heaped upon Sterling, who says the attacks “hurt”.
Under attack from fans? What about attacks from the Press. Guess which paper called Sterling “Obscene” after he showed his social medial followers around the house the “failure” bought his dear old mum?
Such are the facts.
Posted: 2nd, October 2016 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Toni Kroos ‘joins’ but will consider offers from Manchester City
Transfer balls – a look at dire football reporting. The BBC says Manchester City and Manchester United are chasing Real Madrid midfielder Toni Kroos, 26. Spanish TV show El Chiringuito and the Metro free newspaper agree.
The Metro ups the ante by saying City and United will go to “War” over Kroos. War was declared by Spanish journalist Pipe Estrada on El Chiringuito. “A war of two great coaches of international prestige, Guardiola and Mourinho, for a player, a player of Real Madrid: Toni Kroos,” says Estrada. “The two managers believe that he may be key to their future because of his tactical position on the field and because he is vital for the continuity of their projects.”
The Manchester Evening News adds: “Manchester United and Man City to go to war over Real Madrid midfielder Kroos.”
The Sun thunders: “ROOSING FOR A BRUISING Manchester United transfer news: Jose Mourinho and Manchester City boss to battle it out for Real Madrid star Toni Kroos.”
One Spanish journalist speaks and the British Press repeat his claim verbatim.
But how right is he?
In June 2016, the Express said: “Jose Mourinho has reportedly told the board to do whatever it takes to bring the German World Cup winner to Old Trafford.”
In March 2016, the Metro told its readers: “Manchester United transfer news: Gonzalo Higuain deal agreed, Toni Kroos available…”
Higuain never did agree to join Man United. He joined Juventus.
And neither did Kroos. In May 2014, the Daily Mail said Kroos had joined Man United.
Other news sources also agree that Kroos had signed for Manchester United.
In other transfer news, the BBC says Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho has been told “he must sell a player before moving for Southampton’s £10m-rated defender Jose Fonte, 32.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 2nd, October 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: Mesut Ozil signs new Arsenal deal and gets replaced by Marco Reus
Transfer balls: Arsenal star Mesut Ozil is heading back to Real Madrid, says the BBC. Well, maybe. Maybe not.
The Beeb’s source is TuttoMercatoWeb.com, which says Ozil to Real will trigger a bid from Arsenal for Borussia Dortmund’s Marco Reus.
Meanwhile, over in Ozil’s native Germany, Bild reports that the player has signed a lucrative new contract at Arsenal and will take Jack Wilshere’s number 10 shirt.
The Sun agrees.
And disagrees.
They haven’t got a clue.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 1st, October 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Arsenal balls: Wenger wants the England job, a new Arsenal contract and to quit
Is Arsenal manger Arsene Wenger to become the next England saviour? The Mirror says Wenger has “admitted” that he wants the job.
John Cross’ report begins: “Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger admits interest in England job after Sam Allardyce departure.”
The trouble is that more we read the more that headline admittance reduces in potency. Cross adds: “The Gunners boss had admitted it could interest him to take over the Three Lions once his work at the Emirates is done.”
Can you admit something that could not happen?
Of course we know when Wenger’s Arsenal work will be done because John Cross told us the man will leave the Gunners at this end of this season:
Wenger will quit on June 30 2017, said John Cross in the Mirror.
Or as John Cross tells us today in the third Wenger admittance of a short story: “Wenger admitted his priority is to stay at Arsenal and get a new contract as his current £8m-a-year deal expires this summer.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 30th, September 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Media balls: Manchester United’s Zlatan Ibrahimovich beats Zorya Luhansk on his holiday
Yesterday the Mirror reported that Zlatan Ibrahimovich had left Manchester United for a holiday. The Mirror said the “holiday” would mean Ibrahimovich missing Manchester United’s Europa League match with the mighty Zorya Luhansk.
The Sun agreed: “Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic looks set to miss Thursday night match vs Zorya as he holidays in Milan.”
So what did Zlatan do on his holiday? Well, he played for Manchester United in the Europa League and scored the winner.
Update: The Mirror has now changed its story to read: “Zlatan Ibrahimovic returns for Manchester United’s clash with Zorya Luhansk after holiday in Italy.”
Update 2: When the big media speaks the websites follow. Get a load of this terrible reporting on Sports Mole.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 29th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: what Manchester United understand about selling Juan Mata
Transfer Ball – Manchester United midfielder Juan Mata is “desperate” to stay at Old Trafford, says the BBC.
The Sun says the likeable 28-year-old, who has two years left on his “£130,000-a-week contract”, wants Jose Mourinho to sanction a new deal. We know this because an unnamed “United source” says “Juan is still in the dark over his future at the club”.
Why would a source at the club speak up on behalf of one player? this story has the player’s agent’s fingers all over it.
It was only back in July, we read: “Daley Blind and Juan Mata will be high-profile victims of Jose Mourinho’s arrival at Manchester United this summer, Sky Sports News HQ understands.”
Sky Sports was wrong. It understood nothing. Blind is key part of Mourinho’s team. Mata is playing well. But it went on. Sky “understood Mourinho would approve the sale of both players this summer”.
Also in July, the Sun told its readers: “ose Mourinho tells ex-Chelsea outcast Juan Mata he can stay at Manchester United – but will only play one in three matches.” The paper said Mata would be sold to Spain but “La Liga sides do not have the money to match his £150,000- a-week wages”.
As the Sun works out how much Mata earns and listens to understanding sources, the player took a moment to explain what’s going on to a young Untied fan. His advice: “Don’t believe the media.”
"Don't Allways listen to the media " 👏🏼🏆 @juanmata8 #MUFC pic.twitter.com/YEFdyetELe
— OurUnitedStory (@OurUnitedStory) July 17, 2016
Posted: 27th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Media balls: Spurs concede 6 goals all season, Chelsea beat Manchester United and Liverpool are pipped by Arsenal
Filling in the dull bits between transfer windows when the Daily Express’ clickbait bots can link Arsenal to every striker over 10 years of age, the ‘World’s Greatest Newspaper’ has created a Premier League predictor. Using the technical marvel of guessology and powerful maths, the Express makes some bold statements.
Bournemouth, Sunderland and Stoke are all relegated – Stoke scoring 6 times all season.
In the world of the Express, The Cherries are worse than Hull City – who are better than Southampton – and West Ham. Everton, who Bournemouth just beat 1-10, finish runners up. Chelsea finish above Manchester United.
Spurs finish third, conceding – get this – 3 goals.
Manchester City win the title.
Oh, yeah – Arsenal finish fourth, naturally. Even robots can be right some of the time.
Posted: 26th, September 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Manchester United balls: Jose Mourinho’s double ‘Red-olution’
It’s been a topsy-turvy season for Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho. Of course the Premier League season is just a few weeks old – but in the Sun it’s been a few weeks of shocks and revolutions.
On 6th September 2016, the paper’s Neil Curtis told us about the “RED-OLUTION” at Old Trafford. “Jose Mourinho has turned Manchester United around to become the force of old in just three months,” cooed Curtis. Mourinho has “lifted the clouds” at United. “Mourinho is trusting the players abilities, letting them breathe.”
Adding: “From the moment he arrived, the message has been positive… Nothing on philosophies or things taking time.”
The man has cracked it. He’s no Louis Van Gaal. Mourinho has made United the top club again. No he hasn’t – says the Sun, which has also reported – and these just a few of the paper’s barrage of Mourinho stories:
Sept 18 – Geoff Sweet: “LVG V MOU Fact: Louis Van Gaal was a much better Manchester United manager than Jose Mourinho”
Sept 18: Sam Peoples: “‘EMBARRASSING’ Manchester United news: Jose Mourinho has no idea what his best XI is…and Paul Pogba was very muted yet again”
Sept 19 – Neil Ashton: “The Special One’s story is already unravelling at Old Trafford”
Sept 19 – Danny Higginbotham: “ROUND POGS, SQUARE HOLES Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho’s tactics just aren’t working – but how can he fix them?
Sept 19 – Ian Wright: “LAST CHANCE SALOON Jose Mourinho: Manchester United boss could be facing last chance at a top club, says Arsenal legend Ian Wright”
Sept 20 – Neil Ashton: “MOUR MISERY Jose Mourinho win record: Manchester United manager has a worse win percentage than Slaven Bilic and Francesco Guidolin since start of last season”
Sept 2 – Alec Shilton: “MOUR MISERY Jose Mourinho win record: Manchester United manager has a worse win percentage than Slaven Bilic and Francesco Guidolin since start of last season”
It’s been a revolution – twice!
Posted: 21st, September 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: Dele Alli signs new Spurs deal as Real Madrid go cold
Daily Express readers will be shocked to learn that Spurs and England player Dele Alli has signed a new deal at the London club. Alli’s new contract keeps him at Spurs until 2022.
This is at odds with the Express‘ reports of May 2016: “Real Madrid: Spanish giants plot summer swoop for Alli.”
One month earlier, the Sun told its readers: “Tottenham news: Dele Alli in sights of Real Madrid as transfer process begins.” The Sun said Madrid “mouthpiece” Marca had created “momentum which results in the club getting their man.”
Madrid never did bid for Alli,
Posted: 19th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester City balls: Sergio Aguero’s Champions’ League ‘vow’
Big news: Sergio Aguero, 28, has signed a one-year contract extension at Manchester City, says the BBC.
The Daily Mirror ups that with more amazing news: “Aguero has vowed to remain at City until they are crowned kings of Europe”.
Very good of him to make a solemn promise. But at 28, would City want, says, a 38-year-old playing up front for them? We know age is just a number (see: Zlatan Ibrahimovich) but would City’s owners not fancy a younger striker in the next decade?
Of course, should City not win the Champions’ League by 2020, when Aguero’s deal ends, they might not want to renew it. But Aguero has made a “vow”. He’ll be there for as long as it takes.
Of course, Aguero is no fool. He made no vow. What he said was:
“I still have four years more here,. I hope to achieve it at some point as it’s really important for any player. Obviously the Champions League is not easy; there are a lot of other fantastic teams. But my idea and club’s idea is the same, to try to win this competition… we are ready to reach a Champions League final. I don’t know if it’s going to be this year, but we will try.”
Vows made: none.
Posted: 16th, September 2016 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
