Tabloids Category
The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.
Poppa Dumb: Shilpa Greets Jade Goody In India
JADE Goody is to enter the Big Brother house in India, slowing the local that there former colonial overlords have evolved from the stiff-upper-lipped, subjugating and jingoistic ninnies of old to something altogether less pleasant.
Shilpa Shetty, aka Shilpa Poppadom, who encountered Goody The Hoody on Celebrity Big Brother is now retuned to “where she come from”, as Danielle Lloyd advised.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (4)
Lily Allen News Of The Day: Wind
LILY Allen News Of The Day:
POP princess LILY ALLEN struggles to keep her skirt in place as she battles strong winds during a giant shopping spree yesterday –Sun
More Lily Allen news tomorrow…
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Fixing It For Big Brother’s Rex Newmark
“BIG BROTHER FIXES IT FOR REX,” announces the Daily Star on its front page. Above the headline is a picture of a grinning person holding aloft a medal.
Might this be Rex, and might he be holding his Jim’ll Fix It-style gong, albeit awarded by Big Bother? Did BB fix it for Rex to go on live telly for the entire summer and engage in some competitive sarcasm?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
Dwarves Keep Cure For Cancer To Themselves
QUESTION of the Day: “Do dwarves hold the key for the cure for cancer.”
The Daily’s Express asks the questions that matter.
As if dwarves weren’t offensive enough, we are now asked to content with the notion that they can prevent cancer but have locked away the cure, possibly in a little room at the top of a little staircase.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (8)
How To Be A Great British Briton
“GREAT TO BE BRITISH,” says the Daily Mail.
And it is as good a slogan for the paper, and the country, as any. But what does being British mean in today’s confused world?
Anorak investigates:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Saving Heather Mills, Journalists’ Kidzzz And Sick Jokes
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
THE TIMES: “Sorry, no more babies. Eco-doctor’s orders…”
Says Judith O’Reilly: “On holiday you become a Hydra-headed ‘problem to be dealt with’”
Judith is talking about her kidzzz
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (527)
Katia Ivanova Makes Her Old Man Ronnie Wood Ten Years Younger
“I’VE WON RONNIE,” announces Katia Ivanova via the News of the World’s front page.
And good on her for a buying a ticket and winning not the jumbo teddy but a sixty-something year old with issues.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (11)
Big Brother 9: Stuart Donkey Punch’s A Guinea Pig
WANT to see Big Brother’s Stuart Pilkington “EXPOSED”.
He’s done interviews, loadsa interviews, but this is his first “REAL INTERVIEW”, and its in the Star on Sunday, where “real” is not a four-letter word, unlike in some other papers (you know who you are).
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Olympic Balls: Plucky Paula Radcliffe Rolls Back The Years
THE Olympics – This is our year.
And amid the “GOLD RUSH” (Express, Independent), “OUR GREATEST OLYMPIC DAY” (People) is the news that plucky Paula Radcliffe, the country’s great marathon runner, DID cry when she lost and DID stop two miles from home, bravely finishing the race in scenes reminiscent of Reach For The Sky.
Just four years ago Radcliffe wowed Olympic crowds in Athens when she failed to complete the course, dropping out of the race she had no hope of winning.
Now to prove that was no fluke, the spirit-of-the-blitz and never-say-die Brit picked up her running spikes and…
Continues in all papers…
Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comments (12)
Madeleine McCann: People Facts, Tapas Pics And On The Ferry To Ireland
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
SUNDAY EXPRESS: “Madeleine: Linked To Portuguese sex scandal”
Sex. Maddie. What more do you want from your Sunday paper?
SUNDAY PEOPLE: “GRUESOME TWOSOME – UNMASKS GHOULS CASHING-IN ON MADDIE EXCLUSIVE: We snare this vile fantasist trying to sell ‘dynamite’ McCann pics for £50k”
Who can these sickos be?
Maddie McCann’s parents are “devastated and furious” over a cruel bid to cash in on their anguish.
As is their wont. Devastation and fury are what the tabloids say the McCanns do best. What’s new..?
Grasping Duarte Levy demanded £50,000 for photographs he claims implicate Kate and Gerry in their daughter’s disappearance.
Duarte Levy, Anorak readers and commenter?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (307)
Russia And US Agree: Let’s All Nuke Poland
“WE’LL NUKE POLAND.”
Given the history of Poland, the Sun’s headline statement solicits the enjoiner: “No, WE’LL nuke Poland”… “No, we’ll nuke Poland”…”No WE will”, and so on…
(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or website)
The initial threat, says the Telegraph on its front page, was issued by a representative of Russia, a country that has yet to nuke anyone other than its own allies in the former Soviet Union.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Open Debate: Is Princess Eugenie The Most Cleverest Royal Ever?
THE Daily Mail wonders on its front page:
“Is Eugenie the Brightest Royal ever”
Your thoughts please…
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Britain Gears Up For 2012 Drugs Olympics
WE’RE “OUT OF OUR HEADS,” screams the Sun.
“Drugs epidemic wrecking Britain.” For Sun readers that’s “broken Britain”, being wrecked, or mashed, as we know it to be. “DRUGS BRITAIN,” advertises the Indy.
The bombshell figures — which reveal 2million adults have taken drugs in the last month — will fuel calls for a crackdown on celebrity drug users like Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty.
Before Winehouse and Doherty appeared, drugs were an Americanism for pharmaceuticals. Says the Sun: “More than 400 under-16s were admitted last year, compared with 272 in 1997.”
In 1997, Anorak can reveal that the country’s top stars were, in order, Timmy Mallett, Steps and Ally McBeal. Innocent days, indeed.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Lily Allen Prayer For The Day: Finding God
LILY Allen News Of The Day…
“The Smile singer has written a track on her new album which imagines what God’s life would be like. Lily attempts to answer questions like who God would date, what job he’d have and what music he would listen to” – The Sun
What drugs he’d take – being God’ he’d invent some – what Argos jewellery he’d wear, how many times he’d say “f***” in his Bible Uncut…
More Lily Allen news tomorrow
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4)
Olympic Balls, With Catherine Deveney
WRITES Catherine Deveny of her Olympic viewing in The Age:
I’m not into sport. Unless you call competition swearing a sport. But, I’m ashamed to admit, I do get into the Olympics. I know, I should be reading Noam Chomsky and meditating. But the Olympics are not all about sport, particularly if you have kids.
And on uniforms- and, mind, Deveney real person, not the work of a parodist:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (7)
Madeleine McCann: The A-Team, Ruining Lives And Spinning The Single Thread
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
DAILY STAR: “SECRET A-TEAM IN HUNT FOR MADDIE”
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Desperate Kate and Gerry McCann have forked out £500,000 on an “A-Team” of former top spooks to find missing daughter Madeleine.
Can the plan come together?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (527)
Dear Miriam: The Sun’s Agony Aunt Is Here To Help
DEAR Miriam…
READ it here:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Tabloids | Comments (10)
Bonding Sessions At Oldham Council
SAYS Deputy leader of Oldham Council Jackie Stanton: “We expect Unity staff to share the same values and code of conduct as council colleagues and so are very concerned about these allegations.”
Two council contract staff have been suspended after they were seen having sex in an office. A crowd of 20 person gathered round to be appalled and outraged.
The venue? Why, the offices of Unity Partnership in Oldham town centre…
File under “Beyond Parody”…
Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (11)
Daily Mail Headline Of The Decade: French Mayor Killed By Boule
THE Daily Wail. Each days the Dail Mail searches, scouring medical reports and research notes for news, and finally its quests bears dividends:
Lourdes tourism chief killed during a ‘tense’ game of petanque after being hit on the head by metal boule
You want more?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (10)
Peaches Geldof’s Drummy Up Publicity
PEACHES Geldof has got married in Las Vegas.
The Sun says this is “just like Bob and Paula”, that’s precious, precocious Peaches’ mum and dad. They married each other in Las Vegas in 1986.
Poor Peaches, she so wants to be rebellious, edgy and different but mum and dad have got to the sex and the drugs and the rock ‘n’ roll first. Being Peaches must be like turning up at an orgy and being handed a used towel by your mum.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (9)
Madeleine McCann: Belgian Paedos, Foreign Nannies And Joke Shops Jokes
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
GLASGOW DAILY RECORD: “She’s Not Maddie.. She’s My Daughter”
If the Hollies sang Madeleine…
The father of a blonde girl captured on CCTV in Brussels on August 4 came forward to reveal that the youngster was his daughter.
The blonde ice-cream-eating girl with the North African woman?
Belgian federal prosecutor’s office spokeswoman Lieve Pellens says: “Obviously for him, it was very easy recognising the girl accompanied by a woman in a veil. It’s her nanny, a young Moroccan woman who is qualified to look after children and works in a care centre.”
But there are paedos in Belgium right?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (108)
Ginger Spice: Big Brother Rex Sex Hex
PSST! Wanna see a ginger chef with a bouffant and a neat line in sarcasm getting off with a wet blanket?
The Star gives its readers a peek of “BIG BROTHER REX’S LIVE SEX SHOW”…
Look now to ensure disappointment…
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Credit Crunch: The Rover’s Returns
CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news:
“Even TV stars are feeling the pinch: Troubled Corrie star Bev Callard pulled pints at the Rover’s yesterday – as her real-life boozer suddenly shut down. Locals say the unexpected closure of the Gallery, an upmarket bar and restaurant, is probably down to the credit crunch” – The Sun
What the credit crunch means to you…
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money, Tabloids | Comments (7)
Madeleine McCann: With Columnist Fergus Shanahan And The Maddie Squad
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
THE COLUMNISTS
FERGUS SHANAHAN: “SWOOP FOR MADDIE”
“I tried to imagine the misery Kate and Gerry McCann must be going through with these Maddie sightings. It’s too awful.”
See the Sun’s front-page Maddie update in which she is served an ice-cream in Brussels. Shanahan is the paper’s deputy editor. It’s too awful…
“They must cling to any hope. But some of the latest rash of ‘sightings’ are based on thin detail.”
The ice-cream was chocolate.
“Sadly, the Maddie tragedy is attracting its fair-share of attention seekers”
The Sun’s front page says the ice-cream was cold and sweet – just how Maddie likes them!
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (348)
Lily Allen Sensation Of The Day: Kate Perry’s Boyfriend
LILY Allen News Of The Day:
Singer Katy Perry’s boyfriend once quite fancied Lily Allen – Gordon Smart, The Sun
More Lily Allen news tomorrow…
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1)
