Tabloids Category
The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.
The Sun Mishears Max Mosley’s Trigger Word
WHAT would Sir Oswald Mosley, veteran of the Battle of Cable Street, have made of the news that his son, one Max Mosley, needed to pay someone to be beaten up?
One imagines he would have felt a deep and lasting red-cheeked shame.
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Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Cristiano Ronaldo Gets A Roasting
THE summer football season has been a flurry of inactivity for Crisitano Ronaldo.
But now with his transfer from Nereida Gallardo complete (pictured in the Star canoodling on a beach with one Jose Cuneca), he can focus his energy on the matter in hand: roasting.
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Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (8)
Obamania: Barack Obama Invokes Memories Of Past Leaders In Germany
OBAMANIA Watch – Anorak’s look at Barack Obama in the news
BARACK Obama has been in Germany. He is pictured in most paper with one arm raised in the air. The papers all sense echoes of J. F. Kennedy.
But Anorak senses something else, a mixture of the messiah and a charismatic leader from Germany’s past.
“I thought he was very good,” said Julian Metz, a 27-year-old architecture student in Berlin who shook Obama’s hand after the speech. “It was a great feeling to touch him’ – Bloomberg
The Times calls him a “political messiah”. Enthusiasts “dangled from lamp posts first erected by Nazi town planner Albert Speer”.
There were “hints of a future steeliness”.
Says Benedict Nightingale: “There can’t be a politician who looks and acts more clean-living… He does not wave his hands about very much. And when he does it is not an empty gesture but serves to underline a point.”
“Thousands fall under senator’s spell,” says the Telegraph’s Andrew Gimson.
“From an early afternoon it became evident that a religious event was taking place in Berlin. Pilgrims streamed into the Tiergarten, determined to see and hear the man they have come to believe in as their saviour…
Mr Obama’s devotees streamed on foot and by bicycle towards the Victory Column, which commemorates the Prussian defeat of the French in 1870 and was moved to its present position by the Nazis, who also made it taller”
Let’s invade Russia! Says Obama:
“Poorly-secured nuclear material in the former Soviet Union or secrets from a scientist in Pakistan could help build a bomb that detonates in Paris.”
Lets invade Paris!
Gerhard Spörl in Der Spiegel:
Anyone who saw Barack Obama at Berlin’s Siegessäule on Thursday could recognize that this man will become the 44th president of the United States. He is more than ambitious—he wants to lay claim to become the president of the world…
All I vant is a little peace…
McCain is 25 years his senior, a man who because of the torture he endured in Vietnam is in constant pain—unable to comb his hair or lift his arm in celebration.
Hands up for Obama…
Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Big Brother 9: Luke Marsden IS Sexually Active
BIG Brother 9 Watch: Anorak’s looks at Big Brother news in the media…
ANORAK is not in the least bit surprised to learn that Big Brother’s Luke Marsden is a “LOVE CHEAT” and a “sex-hungry stud”.
Having watched the show, Luke’s bedding technique is rooted in a plan to bore the female into a sense of catatonia and then pounce, or at least sidle over and play a tickling game.
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Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (5)
Lily Allen News Of The Day: Pixie Geldof’s New Look
LILY Allen news of the day – Pixie Geldof designs clothes for high street fashion outlet New Look. Now read on…
A source tells us: ‘The deal is virtually identical to the one Lily Allen signed. But whereas Lily’s was met with a muted response, Pixie’s is expected to race out of the stores” – Daily Mirror’s 3am Girls
Mirror readers may recall Allen’s range thus:
Kate’s gear is set to fly off the rails and many stores plan to ration items to a maximum of five per customer for fear of selling out too quickly – Daily Mirror
Get ’em while they’re fresh…
Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Suing Amaral, Mark Lawson’s Fact And Fiction, And Bloggers Beware
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
THE GUARDIAN: “The Panama Mystery – Mr and Mrs Canoe’s case fascinates but can’t match crime fiction’s satisfying motives and denouement”
Mark Lawson does so love a good ending to a work of fiction and fact. A super-fiction. Take care you don’t confuse the two.
In his piece Lawson name checks them all: John and Anne Darwin, Radovan Karadzic, Fred and Rose West, Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman, Ian Huntley, Harold Shipman and…
As the trial was coming to a close, I was at the Harrogate Crime-Writing Festival, and newspapers were reporting the latest developments in the Madeleine McCann case.
Bingo! Where were you?
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Posted: 25th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (626)
Newspaper Misspells Its Own Name In Masthead
THE Valley Newss Grauniad, in colour:
Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)
That Anne And John Darwin Exclusive In Full
ANNE Darwin and her husband John have been jailed for six years each.
The world’s most famous canoeists are front-page news on the Guardian, Mail, Times, Telegraph, Express, Sun, Independent and Paddles Now. But only the Mirror has the “EXCLUSIVE”
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Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5)
Babies Can Eat Whatever They Like
COME on mum, jump up and down. It’s milk shakes for tea!
Says the Star: “Nursing mothers have been told how to produce banana milkshake from their breasts. All they have to do is eat a banana an hour or less before feeding time, say Danish scientists.”
Easy-peasy, banana squeezy.
Breast milk can be given other flavours in the same way. In tests, women also made their milk taste of menthol, caraway seeds and liquorice.
Or how about alcopop, Bacardi Breezeer and crème de menthe frappe on a bed of crushed ice, lager and kebab a la mode?
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Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)
ET Is Real Says World’s Most Famous Astronaut
“ET is real.” Says who? Says ET, that’s who. And “LEGENDARY astronaut Edgar Mitchell” agrees.
Who among of us has not heard of Mitchell, “the sixth man to walk on the Moon”? This is Edgar ‘The Mitch’ Mitchell, the ol’ Sixer, “Not Neil Armstrong”, he “who holds the record for the longest moonwalk”.
The Star tunes in and hears Mitchell says “he had space agency pals who had made contact with aliens. They described them as “‘little people who look strange to us’”.
Chillingly, he claimed our technology is “not nearly as sophisticated” as theirs and, had they been hostile, he warned: “We would be gone by now!”
How tall is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, jingoistic Iranian leader who would wipe countries from the map? We’re listening, Mitch…
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Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Madeleine McCann: The Truth Of The Lie, The Missing Pages And Blonde Lawyers
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
A girl has disappeared. We spent over a year watching the parents via the press. The McCanns have been formally cleared of involvement in Madeleine’s disappearance. But we are still watching them…
IRISH INDEPENDENT: “Maddy’s parents turn to their lawyers as book hits shelves”
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Posted: 24th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (729)
Christian Bale Clowns About With The Celebrity Police Force
HAS Britain run so low on celebrities that no sooner has American actor Christian Bale set foot in Blighty (here to promote his Batman film) than he has his hem (surely collar? – Ed) felt by our Celebrity Police Force (CPF)?
It turns out that Bale was born in the UK, a fact that attracts him to the Sun’s gaze. This is the tabloid that seemingly seeks to have every celeb in the UK arrested.
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Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Ethnic Cleansing: The Sun Photoshops Prince William
CAN you believe what you see in the newspapers?
Prince William’s campaign to try on every uniform Britain has to offer is a wow – next week it’s baker, then butcher, then cub scout, before a week as a traffic warden in Slough, then a few days as a Beefeater before ending the summer as a lap dancer.
The Sun and Metro, one of London’s top half dozen free newspapers, follows the action as Wills tries his hand, legs and arms in a Navy get up.
He calls it: “A charming piece of ethnic cleansing by The Sun.”
But surely it is the Metro that has seen fit to include in the picture Wills’ valet wearing in the uniform of Brent Council’s Youth Liason Officer Corps.…
Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Amy Winehouse Calls The Celebrity Ordering Toddler Service
THE Celebrity Ordering Toddler Service (COTS), sister company to the Celebrity Baby Ordering Service, takes a call from Amy Winehouse.
Says the chanteuse in the Telegraph, the UK’s leading celebrity broadsheet:
“Blake and I can’t wait to have kids. I want at least five kids. I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing dad. When Blake was about we talked about it all the time. To be honest, I think kids have got a lot more going on than adults. They’ve got their heads screwed on a lot better.”
It’s not only Blaaake that’s doing time, but also Amy’s biological clock.
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Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3)
US Papers In A Panic
NEWSPAPERS are in a panic. The Mirror’s new site is a celeb-fest news dump:
The many and deepening cuts at newspapers across the country are starting to take a toll on their content, according to a study being released Monday.
The challenge newspapers must meet immediately is to find more revenue on the Internet, according to the Project for Excellence in Journalism’s study, called “The Changing Newsroom: What is Being Gained and What is Being Lost in America’s Daily Newspapers.”
Newspaper managers need to “find a way to monetize the rapid growth of Web readership before newsroom staff cuts so weaken newspapers that their competitive advantage disappears.”
The new Anorak’s coming to get them…
Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Car Crash TV With Jeremy Kyle And Death
“JEREMY KYLE CHEATS DEATH,” screams the Mirror’s front-page headline.
You can just see Kyle standing before Death and yelling at him to “Be a man! Do the job properly – NO more cheating – NO more lies – NO stuff ups. If you ARE Death then start behaving like Death!
“Let’s get God on the show, everybody.”
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Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (25)
Your New-Look Mirror.Co.Uk
THE Daily Mirror hopes you like its new-look website.
Welcome to the start of something special on the web – a newspaper website that does so much more than just news.
It does the news in colour with an edgy and challenging Times New Roman font and splashes of pink, blue, yellow, green, orange, grey, black and tinted wabs that will bring you the news that all you readers who don’t already look at the Mail online will NEVER have seen before!
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Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)
Star Of Wonder: Balthazar Getty On Sienna Miller
TIME to find out more, then, about Balthazar Getty, one of the Three Wise Men who have come to adore Sienna Miller.
After gifts of fame (Law) and more fame (Ifans), Balthazar brings Sienna a photo montage in Hello, featuring pictures of him at his converted Tuscan barn holding a stick of frankincense, wearing a gold watch, sat on a sofa, and taking in the waters of his private swimming pool of myrrh dressed in his humble jeans and shirt.
The Express takes up the story of how the father of four has left his wife and travelled far on its front page: “Marriage split of Getty heir linked to Sienna.”
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Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Madeleine McCann: Liz Hunt Wonders, The Leaked File And The End
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
DAILY EXPRESS (front page): “MADELEINE – Anger as Portuguese police file is linked”
Yesterday, Madeleine McCann returned to the Express’s front page, a place she once used to own. She’s back today. What price she will be back many times yet?
KATE and Gerry McCann faced further anguish last night after learning that the final police report into their daughter’s disappearance had been leaked to a Portuguese newspaper.
The Express feels their pain and their hurt. And if its readers want to know how bad it is, well, read on:
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Posted: 23rd, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (549)
Killer Cutlery: Knives, Forks And Spoons
KNIFE crime continues to occupy minds in the tabloids, and the Sun brings news of “knife sold to boy, 11”.
Shocking stuff as “little” Jarraed Riddiford “brandishes” a knife he bought “in a shop”, and not from a street knife dealer.
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Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5)
West Ham Fans Disgrace Football And The English Language
TO the United States, where fans of West Ham United are watching their team take on the might of The Columbus Crew.
The Star sees members of the Hammers’ Inter-City Firm unveil a banner and start a bout of fisticuffs with the local Hudson Street Hooligans, “a mob who model themselves on the east Londoners”, by eating goat burgers, talking in an 18th century Dutch patois and holidaying in Soviet Central Asia.
The argy-bargy is all too terrible. But things are about to get really nasty.
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Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (12)
The Benefits Of Being Kerry Katona’s Mum
KERRY Katona’s mother, one Susan Katona, “had £46,000 despite claiming she was broke, a court heard yesterday”, writes the Sun.
Susan Katona, 48, has admitted claiming £5,622 income support — despite earning thousands from photographs and interviews about her daughter, 27.
Yesterday she failed to appear for sentencing for a second time — claiming she has agoraphobia.
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Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Peaches And Screamer: Geldof Daughter In Overdose Story
“PEACHES IN DRUGS OVERDOSE,” screams the Sun’s front-page headline, leading news that Peaches Geldof, precocious daughter to Bob Geldof, has, allegedly, taken too many drugs.
“999 crew dash to save Sir Bob Geldof’s girl.”
The story:
PEACHES Geldof stopped breathing for several minutes and could have died or suffered brain damage after a suspected drug overdose in her flat.
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Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4)
Dudley Mosque And Islamic Cathedrals For Equality
TO Dudley, and the Express’s news: “22,000 says ‘no’ to mosque but it still gets the go-ahead”?
Says one resident of the locale:
“This mosque, which will be one of the biggest outside London with a 65ft tower, will dwarf Dudley church and the wishes of 22,000 people who protested against it.”
The same unnamed source then says the structure will “overshadow our homes”.
As it says here:
“The proposed site has been unused and contaminated since the factory that previously stood there was demolished, and we have no knowledge of any other interest in the site since it became vacant.”
The Express fails to say how many homes will be overshadowed by the mosque, but anyone living close to a toxic site may have other concerns.
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Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (38)
Madeleine McCann: Police Errors, Kate And Gerry McCann Speak, And Amaral’s Book
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
Portuguese prosecutors have shelved the investigation into Madeleine McCann’s disappearance. Kate McCann, Gerry McCann and Robert Murat are not longer official suspects.
Fernando Jose Pinto Monteiro, Portugal’s Attorney-General, told police to halt the investigation into of Madeleine’s disappearance.
A statement released by his office confirmed that it had decided to “close the file on the investigation concerning the disappearance of the minor Madeleine McCann due to lack of evidence that any crime was committed by the persons placed under formal investigation”.
But it’s not the end of the matter. And Madeleine McCann returns to the nations’ front pages:
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Posted: 22nd, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (590)
