Tabloids Category
The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.
Sara Jessica Parker’s Mole Breaks Out
IN “SJP and her incredible vanishing MOLE”, the Mirror’s looks at the face of Sara Jessica Parker, Sex and the City’s Fanny Hill.
The mole, Mirror readers are commended to note, has gone from the greater SJP chin. There are before and after pictures of SJP, and hackette Sara Wallis’ invites readers to “spot the difference”. But the game is not all that challenging because the paper’s graphic’s wizard has circled the mole and where the mole isn’t with blue biro.
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Posted: 17th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Madeleine McCann: Saville Kent, Fictional Detectives And D-Day II
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
Madeleine McCann returns to the nation’s front pages.
No mention is made of Robert Murat’s libel settlement with 11 British organs (more on that later), just the Mirror’s news: “MADDY – Law chief: It’s D-Day on Monday.”
D-Day – much like the Sun’s Maddy D-Day on 29th, November 2007, only more decisive.
DAILY STAR: “D-DAY COMING FOR THE MCCANNS”
THE GUARDIAN: “D-day close in McCann investigation”
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Posted: 17th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (148)
Lily Allen thought of the day: Sweet On Honey
LILY Allen thought of the day: Sweet On Honey
Says Lily Allen of her new dog in the Mirror:
“She’s called honey and she’s quite fat, but very sweet.”
Catch Lily and new pooch, er, Mabel running about in Gordon Smart’s Sun report.
More Lily Allen news in tomorrow’s tabloids…
Posted: 17th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Top Trumping The Police
GET a load of “smiling” PC Ben Treen showing Sun readers his “latest hand in the war on crime”.
No, it’s not a kebab suit, which coppers will pull on to lurk unnoticed in eateries, ready to pounce at the first sing of trouble. It’s not a propelling pencil. It’s a game of Top Trumps.
Officers in Fratton, Portsmouth, have equipped themselves with cards that feature their image and ratings for such key policing activities as pedal power, problem solving, agility and strength.
Says the Sun: “Some officers say they are mobbed outside schools by kids demanding the cards.”
Indeed, it’s a handy way to work out which of the local wooden tops is the thickest, the slowest, the least agile and the weakest.
Pick your card, any card, and have it away on your toes…
Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)
Lily Allen Quote Of The Day: Pop Dogs
LILY Allen news of the day, sponsored by the Sun.
The Sun’s Gordon Smart has the scoop that Lily Allen has taken possession of a new dog.
“The signer was checked out to see if she would be a suitable owner. Asked what she did for a living, Lily said, ‘I’m a singer.’ She was then asked what kind of singer and said: ‘Erm , a pop star.”
She had to think about it.
More breathless Lily Allen exclusives tomorrow…
Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Cristiano Ronaldo’s Transfer Is On
CRISTIANO Ronaldo’s transfer is back on after being back off earlier this morning.
Says the Sun:
“Spanish beauty Nereida Gallardo looked sick as a parrot yesterday after getting the red card from soccer ace Cristiano Ronaldo”
Asked if she wanted to comment, she commented: “No.”
She’s a slave to love…
Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (8)
Ferrier Boyz Uphold The Universal Culture Of Violence
ENCOURAGING news from South London where a six-strong gang of youths, collectively known as the Ferrier Boyz, have been banged up for a total of 46 years.
It’s a sure sign that multiculturalism does work.
Unfortunate that Faheem Javaid was punched, beaten with a brick, hit with a motorbike helmet and stabbed four times in the back and that his younger brother was robbed in broad daylight but let’s focus on the positives.
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Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (7)
Celebrity Exlusives: Denise Van Outen
CELEBRITY Exclusives: Denise Van Outen
“Telly beauty Denise Van Outen always takes teabags with her on holiday” – Daily Star
Fact!
Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Big Brother’s Fight To The Death
PSSST! Wanna hear “Another great STAR Exclusive”?
Or would you rather not know: “BIG BROTHER RIOTTERS TRASH TELLY HOUSE”?
For those of you who do want to know, the Star brings front-page news that Big Brother housemates are “at war”. And the weapons of choice are food, toothpaste and rubber gloves filled with water and smeared with sun cream, possibly made in China and honed in Iran.
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Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (2)
Amy Winehouse Carries On Howerd’s Way
THOSE Amy Winehouse headlines write themselves.
But not in the Star which reports that Winehouse’s mum, Janis, wants her daughter to stay for a while at Frankie Howerd’s old house, Waverting Down, near Cheddar.
The Star misses the open goal, forgoing the headline: “They wanted be to go to rehab but I said Nay Nay and Thivrce Nay”. All readers get is: “Frankie Howerd bolthole for Amy”.
Any more of this and Winehouse will start to believe she is the subject of serious news and tabloid concern…
Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Madeleine McCann: Robert Murat, Newspapers Escape And Libel
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
ROBERT Murat has won libel actions against Sky, The Daily Express, The Sunday Express, The Daily Star, The Daily Mail, The Evening Standard, The Metro, The Daily Mirror, The News of the World, The Sun and The Scotsman.
His case against the media was due to be heard tomorrow, but he has reached a settlement out of court.
You can read a round-up of the matter here, an search for “Robert Murat” on Anorak, which has been highlighting the media campaign againt the expat for over a year.
This settlement saves the media fighting a battle they had no chance of winning and legal fees. The cost is about £50,000-a-head, which is something of a bargain.
And how have these papers responded to the news? With an apology?
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Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (248)
Cristiano Ronaldo’s Transfer Is Off
YESTERDAY the transfer of Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo was very much on. Today it is off.
The Star reports that he IS staying with Nereida Gallardo and will NOT be transferring his affections to a new Page 3 stunna.
Says Nereida from her parents’ home in Mallorca: “We are still very much in love… We are still very much together.”
Says a source: “He’s a slave to love…”
Posted: 16th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Boris Johnson’s Sir Simon Milton
NEWS all around that Boris Johnson has appointed his new Number 2, following the departure of Ray Lewis, who as the Mail says, “resigned earlier this months over accusations of sleeze”.
That’s Ray Lewis, Justice of the Peace, or not:
Ray Lewis is not, and never has been, a magistrate. On Thursday both he and the mayor said he was.
Johnson’s new No.2 is Sir Simon Milton, as pictured…
Posted: 15th, July 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
Acking Up Richard Littlejohn
MORE Nazi newspaper business with the Daily Mail’s Richard Littlejohn:
The week’s edition You Couldn’t Make It Up comes courtesy of Stella Artois, which is planning to hire a Zeppelin, piloted by a German called Fritz, to take tourists on an aerial trip across London. How about bringing over doodlebugs? Don’t be surprised if they encounter a little light ack-ack over Wapping
More on Littlejohn’s Nazi obsession next week…
Not More Madeleine McCann Jokes
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
METRO: “When is serious news seriously funny?”
Nearly always if it’s on ITV?
Topical comedy can be something of a hot potato. Take last year’s most prominent UK news story: the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. Not even the most talented comedians could get away with touching it with a bargepole.
Well, no. This one was funny. But not these.
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Posted: 15th, July 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (110)
Swindon Bans Speed Cameras, Maybe
FERGUS Shanahan says, “Well done Swindon Borough Council, which is axing all its speed cameras because they are, in its words, ‘a blatant tax on the motorist’.”
A few pages on and the Sun is less certain:
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Man Sets Fire To Neighbours’ Garden, Accidentally
WITH the summer, comes a traditional story of feuding neighbours, rowing over the Leylandii and borders.
But we live in dangerous and aggressive times, and the Telegraph reports: “Scientist’s blowtorch weed killer backfires – A scientist using a mini-blowtorch to kill weeds accidentally incinerated his neighbours’ front garden.”
Accidentally.
We join the action as Robert Gailey, 79, emerges on the driveway of his semi-detached home in Paisley, Renfrewshire. He is equipped with a Weed Wand:
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Cristiano Ronaldo Gets Nereida Off His Chest
DAILY STAR readers may wonder which of the Big Brother housemates Ronaldo is, and if he has ditched “HIS ‘TOO SEXY’ LOVER” to hook up with Lisa, Rex or Maysoon?
Its turns out that for the first time in weeks the Star leads with non-Big Brother news and readers learn that Cristiano Ronaldo is a footballer who has broken off his beach-side frolick with Nereida Gallardo.
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Posted: 15th, July 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Daily Sport Loses Its Head Story
THE new-look Daily Sport features an old-look headline: “Man saws own head off.”
Granted, we have not seen this headline before, and David Phyall had never before sawn his head off with a chainsaw until recently, if he did at all.
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Ronnie Wood Has An Eka Of A Good Time
IT only seems like a few days ago that we read in the Sun of Ronnie Wood’s departure to Ireland with Russian Ekaterina Ivanova, aged 18.
Today the Sun announces on its front page: “Stone poses with Eka, 20.”
“Alcoholic” Woods may wonder where all the time has gone, and what he and “Moscow born” Ekaterina have been up to for the past two years.
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Posted: 15th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (8)
Celebrity Exclusives: Eating Sarah Harding
CELEBRITY Exclusives: Sarah Harding…
“Sarah started as she means to go on by ordering fish and chips while hunting for her Bucks mansion” – Daily Star
Tar-tare for now…
Posted: 15th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1)
Web Of Sin: A Convicted Rapist On Facebook
WEB OF SIN – Anorak’’s occasional look at social networking in the tabloids
“RAPEBOOK,” says the Sun. “Broadmoor beast lures girls on networking site.”
The Sun shows readers one Gary Lee Dyer, a convicted rapist currently resident in the Broadmoor hospital, a mental asylum “intended for the reception, safe custody and treatment of persons who had committed crimes while actually insane or who became insane whilst undergoing sentence of punishment”.
News is that Dyer has a page on Facebook on which he says: “I am looking for someone to write to me… 18 years plus please… looking for friendship.”
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Amy Winehouse Stickers It To Blake
AMY Winehouse news of the day:
“After heroin, crack and booze, Amy Winehouse hits rock bottom. She’s addicted to FOOTBALL STICKERS.”
Surely the Sun means to say Winehouse is addicted to the glue on the back of football stickers, sniffing it hard and going about the place with a picture of Dimitar Berbatov attached to her top lip?
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Posted: 15th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Daily Express Exposes Those Nude Carla Bruni Pictures
THE Daily Express hears that Carla Bruni, Mrs Le President Sarkozy, loves a British man.
Says the paper of her recent visit to the UK:
Despite, a nude picture from her modelling days being splashed on the front of two downmarket British newspapers they [sic] day they arrived, she received a rapturous reception”
Readers of the not-in-the-least-bit-downmarket Express can see a picture of the naked nude Bruni here on the, er, Daily Express website…
Posted: 14th, July 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (3)
Golden News For Chiles And Garvey
JOBBING Frank Skinner impersonator and BBC presenter Adrian Chiles has separated from his wife, Jane Garvey, the voice of BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour.
You are not alone in finding this fascinating, what with the Mail sharing your interest in “the golden couple”, spotting Chiles entering a flat wearing his crash helmet. It’s the Daily Mirror’s “exclusive”.
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Posted: 14th, July 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
