Posts Tagged ‘News’
Harry Styles: Not the first popstar to be hit with something on stage (video round-up)
RECENTLY, Harry Styles of One Direction, was pelted in the wang by a stray shoe, thrown from his beloved audience. This writer himself has thrown an errant trainer at The Prodigy, missing the target (Keef) by some distance and hitting the drummer’s cymbal at Reading ’96 (if you have a recording of the show, listen out for it during Poison).
Of course, this kind of behaviour is not to be cheered at… mostly. It is wilfully stupid behaviour, but alas, is all part of the rock ‘n’ roll circus.
Some musicians get bras and drugs thrown at them, which is very nice. Most however, aren’t too pleased with what comes their way.
With that, let us look at some of the most brutal bottlings and weirdest missiles aimed toward people just trying to earn a living.
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Posted: 28th, February 2013 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)
The sweetest CV in the world is printed on a Nestlé Crunch bar
INVENTIVE jobseeker, Nick Begley, was getting pretty hacked off with not finding a job, and so, he decided to get creative with his CV. No, he didn’t pretend he’d gone to university and invent a load of jobs he hadn’t done, but rather, turned his resume into something that no-one could ignore.
Chocolate.
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Rihanna isn’t ‘authentic’ according to thunderously drab indie band
YOU’VE heard the same arguments against pop music time and time again, never once getting any more original, witty or incisive – ‘pop music isn’t real music’. Usually, these gripes come from crashingly dull indie bands who think they’re part of something more ‘real’ or ‘better’ because they’re stupid enough to believe that picking up a guitar and playing the same 4 chords every other indie band is playing, is somehow more valuable than anything else.
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Ghost steals woman’s CV and clothes
LIFE is hard enough just dealing with humans, their offspring and their pets. Imagine then, if things from other realms started mucking about with us!
That’s what one lady has told Georgia’s police force after her CV and some clothes got stolen by a ghost. No, you are most certainly not going mental. A woman called Debbie Michelle Zamacona, has told police that her CV, criminal history and a black and blue blouse all went missing, thanks to a creepy spectre.
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Posted: 27th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Fancy eating a baby’s head for £35?
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HOW much do you like babies? Could you eat a whole one? Well, if you fancy, you can buy an edible white chocolate baby head, which is terrifyingly realistic, created by Annabel de Vetten, who has been inundated with orders since the one kilogram, 5,000 calorie packing infant heads went viral online.
“The global phenomena which are the Conjurer’s Kitchen hand-painted solid white chocolate zombie baby heads are both amazing and disturbing,” said the description on Etsy.
“Delicious to eat, or can be kept and displayed as a sculptural piece.”
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Posted: 26th, February 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Prime Minister gets a good look at presenter’s vagina (video)
WHAT is a person supposed to do when someone is flashing their genitals around eh? Do you politely look away, or do you shriek and point? What most of us would do is have a little peak and try and be as dignified as possible when faced with someone’s nether-regions.
And that is exactly what Serbia’s prime minister did when he was faced with a TV interview, in which the host wasn’t wearing any knickers.
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Posted: 26th, February 2013 | In: Politicians | Comment
Google Maps grasses up man cheating on fiance
THE internet has done wonders for people’s sex lives, enabling them to flirt more confidently and meet other people without having to brave a bar filled with stouty burps first. However, with every silver lining is a dirty great raincloud, as one Russian lothario soon discovered.
While browsing Google Maps, a Russian lady found that her other-half was having it away with someone else. Marina Voinova, from Perm (where everyone looks like the Liverpool FC squad in the early ’80s), was looking for an address online and, when switching to the Street View feature, she saw an image of her fiance cuddling up to another woman.
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Posted: 26th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True, Technology | Comment
Scientists make suit that give you Spidey Sense!
GREETINGS web-slingers! You may look good in lycra and have a boss that shouts at you all the time, but that’s where you and Spiderman’s similarities end… UNTIL NOW!
Clever science sods have made a suit which, sadly, doesn’t enable you to climb walls and snog Mary Jane, but probably more impressively, actually gives you Spidey Sense. That’s right – you’ll tingle at danger!
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Posted: 25th, February 2013 | In: Technology | Comment
Cheerleader Ashlee Arnau slams half-court forward flip shot to the envy of Harlem Globetrotter!
IF you’ve ever tried to play basketball, you’ll know how annoying it is trying to score any kind of basket at all, ever. Stand on the three-point line and watch as you continually hit the blasted hoop and scarcely hear the satisfying ‘fttt’ of the ball vanishing down the hole.
With that, imagine scoring from the halfway line. While doing a forward flip.
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Man beaten to a bloody pulp with a Furby
FURBIES are so cute aren’t they? NO! They’re horrible! With their nasty little limbs, slowly blinking lifeless eyes, chilling little voices and nippy beaks. There is absolutely nothing pleasant about a Furby.
Furthermore, they make excellent improvised weapons, as one American lady showed in Pennsylvania.
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Weatherman passes out in morning TV stunt
AUSTRALIAN weatherman, Grant Denyer, has some interesting ways of reporting on the weather, making Fred Talbot (the less about him the better, presently) look like someone gently frollicking through a meadow.
Our Grant, for some inexplicable reason, decided to broadcast from a stunt-plane. A stunt-plane going so fast and driving in such a mental manner, that it made our dear old weatherman pass out.
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Posted: 22nd, February 2013 | In: Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment
Crocodile spotted in River Thames
AGAIN, we find ourselves looking at a world where animals are slowing taking over Earth, presumably so they can enslave us and eventually start wearing us as coats and turning our beautiful flesh into tinned meat.
The latest scare story from the world of nature is that a cyclist has claimed to have seen a crocodile in the River Thames. A horrible, non-blinking, tearless tooth-machine, ready to gnaw at your bonce and swallow your children.
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Posted: 22nd, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Cheap pizza in America if you order it with a gun
IF you want cheap products, order them with a massive gun in your hand. Now, most of you will be thinking ‘that’s just robbery, rather than completing a fair transaction!’, but you’ve clearly not heard about the pizza parlour in Virginia which is offering discount to customers if they are carrying a firearm.
No, seriously.
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Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment
CCTV footage of the Ruislip ghost!
WOOOOOO! A spooky video has emerged online of CCTV footage showing a spectre appearing at a community centre in north-west London!
The video shows a slim figure suddenly appear outside the entrance of South Ruislip Community Association and Community Centre before it chillingly walks through a metal railing before vanishing into thin air!
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Posted: 20th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
Man literally blows up after winning lottery
WINNING the lottery must be beyond any comprehension of what excitement means. One minute, you have all this stuff to do… endless stuff… stuff that goes on and on and on… and then WHAP! Suddenly, the only thing you have to do is get blind drunk and spend loads of money on brilliant things like houses, cars, Farah slacks made from gold and a zebra butler.
You’d be forgiven if you figuratively exploded with excitement.
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Posted: 19th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Is Micky Flanagan going to come and spoil TV Burp?
TV BURP was one of the finest things on television, with Harry Hill and his team managing to make one of the silliest, funniest and most surreal tea-time telly shows in history. When it bowed out, there was hole which was irreplaceable.
However, some idiot is trying to replace it. No, we’re not talking about Channel 4’s AWFUL look at television with Paddy McGuinness. In fact, it is considerably worse.
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Posted: 14th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Guards find phone after prisoner’s anus starts ringing
CRIMINALS can be wily, smart and cunning… but for the most part, they’re very, very thick. We’ve all seen the footage of various burglars making berks of themselves on CCTV, failing to kick doors in and wearing mop buckets on their heads.
Well, one ne’er-do-well takes the biscuit after his arse starting ringing while in the clink.
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Posted: 12th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Washington Restaurant gives discount for well-behaved kids – you don’t stand a chance
EVEN parents know that children in restaurants are the worst thing on Earth. Noisy, snot-faced infants are worse than teams of drunk rugby players and screaming hen-parties put together. They howl, loudly need the toilet, don’t like anything and worst of all, wander around establishments bugging the rest of civilisation who have enough to deal with while eating in public and being forced to pretend to know about wine.
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Posted: 11th, February 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment
Mental whale probably tries to kill humans in canoe (video)
THE latest in our series of ‘The Animals Are Trying To Take Over The World By Killing Us All’ (after badgers collapsing roads, ponies riding on trains and zoo animals chewing our drunks) sees a whale giving some hind-leggers the fright of their lives!
While riding in a canoe, a gigantic humpback whale leapt out of the water and almost landed on top of their vessel!
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£75,000 raised to build Star Wars Death Star
WITH the news of Disney making a film about a young Han Solo (good move really as Han Solo is a cocky arse, which can only make for thrills and spills), some Star Wars fans will be weeping into their laps because they don’t like the idea of Mickey Mouse having anything to do with George Lucas’ brainchild (yeah, and he really looked after the franchise didn’t he?).
And so, in a bid to stop any of these new Star Wars films from taking off, an unlikely project has arisen: Star Wars fans have raised £75,000 to build an actual Death Star.
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Posted: 8th, February 2013 | In: Film, Strange But True | Comment
Idiots vote for cat’s inclusion in Monopoly
YOU can make a good judgement on a human by viewing which piece they decide to play with in Monopoly. Basically, the rule is this: If they choose the dog, they’re an idiot.
This may seem harsh, but think about it. The car has a lovely art-deco quality and implies speed and fun, while the boot is reminiscent of a cartoon hobo’s boot, implying a wistful, rambling freedom. The top hat is a satisfying piece to hold and has a Lord Snooty quality, and anyone who doesn’t like the Beano should be slapped senseless. The ship is also filled with romance and a promise of adventure and maybe decadent dinner parties on deck, before the vessel perishes at the whim of an iceberg.
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Posted: 7th, February 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment
Criminal investigation starts with Lance Armstrong, but he’ll keep £7.7m
THE problem with Lance Armstrong, now officially a cheat, is that he was tedious. If Armstrong had any discernible personality or was at all eccentric, all this cheating would’ve been really fun. He’s no Jacques Anquetil is he? There’s nothing about Armstrong that says ‘lovable rogue’ or ‘wild man of sport’. He just cheated so he could win.
And that is why everyone doesn’t like him. He’s tedious, ruthless and ambitious and little else.
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Count the grammatical errors in Arizona teacher’s letter!
TEACHERS eh? We all know better than those idiots don’t we? We’ve met children and they’re idiots. So teachers have it easy, because they can tell them anything OR they’re to blame for children being a stupid as they are. And they get loads of holidays.
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Theme park to be built on Bin Laden’s corpse
WHEN Osama Bin Laden died, the whole of America cheered! The bogeyman had been captured, adding a head for the poles that contained Gadaffi and Saddam! Oh, how America love to hunt people in the Middle East down! And so, ill-feeling in the Middle East grows toward America.
What. A. Surprise.
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LeBron James tackles fan after $75k half-court shot!
AS athletes go, they don’t get much more famous than LeBron James. With that, you’d expect him to be something of a professional bore like you see in the English Premier League. Not on your life. See, LeBron jumped all over a fan, while hooting and screaming in celebration.
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