Posts Tagged ‘News’
Tour for The Voice gets cancelled, unsurprisingly
REMEMBER The Voice? Do you remember the winner? Did you even hear the song? Chances are, the only thing you had to do with The Voice, was continual puzzlement at people on social networking, saying they fancied Will.I.Am. That’s right. There’s people out there who want to have sex with someone who looks like a Lego Tron figurine, complete with simpleton grin.
Of course, The Voice was the latest show to proudly proclaim that It Wasn’t The X Factor, which is a dangerous dance. That’s because The X Factor has a habit of being much better than competitors because it knows full well that it is little more than trashy television. It is to music was WWE is to professional sport. So when The Voice comes along, trying to pass itself as ‘more real’, it was asking for trouble.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 19th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tulisa Contostavlos’ secret arrest after stabbing
BEING Tulisa isn’t easy. First off, you have to be in a band with Dappy and secondly, you have to defend yourself after someone crassly leaks a blow-job video of you online. Then there’s the whole ‘working for Simon Cowell’ thing. It’s been a rocky road for that poor woman.
And now, she’s revealing more about her turbulent life.
In her biog, she’s talked about her secret arrest after a stabbing! Apparently, she attended a party in 2008 which saw a massive fight breaking out. Someone in the ruckus got stabbed. Worried that this could ruin her reputation, Contostavlos ran away from the scene, phoning her manager Jonathan Shalit for advice before contacting the police.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Rot-oh! Hugh Laurie: RoboCop
DID you know that there was a remake of RoboCop afoot? You have 20 seconds to comply with your answer. Did you know that Hugh Laurie is likely to be involved in it? Imagine him in his Jeeves & Wooster guise, mincing around burning debris and killer androids!
Alas, Hugh won’t be playing Jose Padilha’s RoboCop, rather, getting the gig of being the chief baddie in the film. Classic ‘Get An Englishman To Play The Baddie’ move from Hollywood there. Alan Rickman will be furious!
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 13th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
GaGa shows off black eye and has a pop at Madonna in the process
LADY GAGA has tweeted the picture of the black eye she got after being smacked about the head with a metal pole during a gig.
She tweeted: “Emerging from hours of sleep. Still remiss if I should go outside, with this clonker I may be of questionable styling. Thank you so much for all the thoughtful messages. I feel a bit woozy but a little better everyday. Very happy to be in beautiful Australia.”
Following the accident, GaGa told the audience: “I want to apologise, I did hit my head and I think I may have a concussion but don’t you worry I will finish this show.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Lindsay Lohan lied to the police? Prison beckons? As if….
JUST when Lindsay Lohan looked like she’d stopped being in trouble, the long hook of bother has felt up her collar again. So, when she’s not being called a jewel thief, or a common assaulter, or a drug wreck, or a booze hound, she’s now being accused of lying to the police.
LiLo has been alleged to have lied to cops on Friday when she told them that she wasn’t driving the Porsche that had crashed into a truck on the Pacific Coast Highway. If that’s the case, then the 25-year-old actress could be prosecuted and her probation could be revoked.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Lauryn Hill to go to jail?
DESPITE being the only talented one in The Fugees (no-one remembers Pras and Wyclef’s obvious lack of talent is underlined in will.i.am stealing his career off him), Lauryn Hill hasn’t been having a good time of it since making one of the best debut LPs in history.
Becoming something of a recluse, being accused of racism and generally looking a little erratic, Lauryn could now be going to jail.
It has been reported that Hill has been charged with failing to pay tax on more than $1.8m. She allegedly failed to file tax returns to the US internal revenue service between 2005 and 2007 which means she’s in a whole world of pain. Three counts of tax-evasion carries a maximum penalty of one year in jail plus a $100,000 fine.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 8th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Travolta had gay relationship with pilot? Doug Gotterba alleges
CAN we make a ‘look who’s talking now?’ joke concerning the myriad of men who have claimed to have had some kind of sexual encounter with John Travolta? Doesn’t matter now. We’ve already done it.
Either way, Travolta is the subject of many claims at the moment and now, there’s someone saying that the Saturday Night Fever actor spent most of the ’80s riding a pilot’s joystick, Doug Gotterba.
Travolta’s secretary at the time spoke about her old boss’s sex life. She said:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 7th, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
John Mayer hits out at Taylor Swift over world’s lamest beef track
HIP HOP is well known for well-publicised beefs, but now we’ve got one between two of the lamest, wettest humans in the known universe. You see, Taylor Swift wrote a thinly-veiled dig at former beau and all-round douche, John Mayer… and he’s not happy about it.
Of course, Mayer is known for his controversial views on exes and women. You may recall his referring to Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm”, which is nice. Well, now he’s all seriously upset by something one of his other flings has said about him.
Read the rest of this entry »
Justin Bieber suffers concussion because he’s stupid
NOT content with getting into a spot of bother with a paparazzo, allegedly duffing him up with his tiny fists, Justin Bieber has ended up concussed in Paris. Did the French sock him in the face because of his woeful music? Sadly not. JB ended up knocked-out for 15 seconds after he indulged himself in some grand stupidity.
Bieber was sparko after he ran into a glass wall backstage while in the French capital.
Immediately after the show, Bieber addressed the mishap, Tweeting: “im fine. just smacked my head and needed some water. all good.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 1st, June 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Justin Bieber could spend 6 months in prison, which would be funny
YOU know how Justin Bieber has been accused of roughhousing a photographer? Well, presumably hoping it would all go away like that girl who claimed she’d had his baby, this case is going to rumble on after it was reported that his case will be referred to the Los Angeles County District Attorney for possible criminal prosecution.
Hilariously, if he’s charged and convicted, he could go to the clink for a whole six months.
According to professional ambulance-chasers TMZ, the police have decided to refer the case to prosecutors.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 30th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Mary J. Blige: Charity scammer?
SHE may have given soul music a shot in the arm by introducing it to hip hop, but Mary J. Blige could be in a mountain of trouble. Mary J. set up a charity, but sadly, rather than empowering women, it has been bouncing cheques, doesn’t have an office or a phone number and has seen hundreds of thousands of dollars of donations going walkies, allegedly.
Blige’s charity failed to file its tax returns as well as its annual state-charity registration, which means it has been slapped with two lawsuits. One claims that the group has swindled musicians regarding a 2011 fund-raising gala and another alleges the charity has defaulted on a $250,000 loan.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 30th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Gordon Ramsay and Will Ferrell regrettably not dead
TWO of the most hateful humans to ever evolve from apes, Gordon Ramsay and Will Ferrell, played in a charity football match last night and we’re sad to report that neither of them are dead.
Ferrell limped off the pitch, presumably after injuring his severely under-employed funny bone. However, it was Ramsay who looked closest to joining the great choir invisible after he was removed from the pitch after a run in with former England player Teddy Sheringham.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 29th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Justin Bieber wanted by police after paparazzi gets hospitalised
WE’VE (that’d be the Royal ‘we’ of sneering pop-culture writers) all been waiting for Justin Bieber to go full-fat brat and, well, it seems to be happening. After being a squeaky clean, good ol’ Christian boy, he’s slated the girl who said he got her pregnant in public, he’s flipped the bird at photographers and said ‘everything happens for a reason’ about rape victims.
And now, he’s a wanted man by the police.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 28th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Sharon Stone sued by former nanny for being a bit ‘racist’ and generally ‘abusive’
BASIC INSTINCT showed us Sharon Stone’s genitals and Total Recall showed us her boobies (while Sliver showed us so much that we could all see what she’d had for her dinner). However, it’s Stone’s former housekeeper that wants us to know even more about her. Provided we add ‘allegedly’ to the whole proceedings.
See, Sharon is being sued by her former lackey who is making all kinds of fantastic claims about the woman no-one knew could act until she appeared in Casino.
In a court document, Erlinda T. Elemen’s harassment lawsuit claims Stone insulted her Filipino accent, saying that Stone wouldn’t let her speak in front of her children so they would “not talk like you”. Elemen also claims that Stone wouldn’t allow her to read the Bible in the actress’ home. Although, that seems fair given that reading fiction at work is slacking off work.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
James Bond is nothing but a beer-swilling sell-out
YOU may think James Bond is a suave, sophisticated man. That’s probably because he drives expensive sports cars, travels in luxury, always has a nice watch on and is the epitome of tailored cool. Right?
You couldn’t be more wrong.
You see, Ol’ Bondy is ditching his famous Martini in favour of being a loutish, beer swigging, burping sell-out. That’s right. No long will Bond be asking for his cocktail ‘shaken, not stirred’ because he’ll be too busy crushing beer cans on his head and howling at football matches (what team does Bond support anyway?).
Read the rest of this entry »
UN banned Sacha Baron Cohen from filming at UN because he might ‘upset dictators’
SACHA BARON COHEN is not a man that appears from behind his disguises very often, but he’s peered out from beneath his comedy facial fuzz to talk about his latest creation, Admiral General Aladeen.
And during an interview with the BBC, the Ali G and Borat star made an astonishing claim! He said: “The interesting thing is, when we asked to shoot inside the United Nations, they actually refused. We said ‘this is a pro-democracy movie’. They said ‘that’s the problem – we represent a lot of dictators, and they are going to be very angry by this portrayal of them so you can’t shoot in there’.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Will Smith slaps reporter Vitalii Sediuk in the face after kiss attempt
HEY! You know Will Smith right? That loveable wag who gave us the soundtrack to summer summer summertime and starred in a buncha films ranging from ‘okay’ to ‘dreadful’. Well, he’s promoting Men In Black 3 (or MIB3 if you like abbreviations) and, while out in Moscow, he slapped the lips off a reporter who tried to give him a Frenchie.
Possibly.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 21st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Gym employee joins long queue of people touched by Travolta
HEY! John Travolta! Everyone kinda assumed you were gay, or at least bi, so don’t worry about your career! However, there’s a small matter of taking people’s sex without exactly asking for it. Don’t worry though! Roman Polanski still earns a decent living!
What’s that? Oh yes, there’s YET ANOTHER man accusing you of sexual misconduct. This time, it’s a gym employee who has accused the Pulp Fiction star of groping him against his will. Marty Singer, Travolta’s rep, says: “As a result of the published lies about my client we expect some ‘John Does’ to come out of the woodwork and assert false claims.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Uh-oh! More developments with John Travolta and the reverse massagers!
MASSAGE is always a word that has raised the eyebrows of the eternally mucky minded, but since John Travolta got accused of all-manner of stuff, the world has been introduced to the notion of a ‘reverse massage’, which sounds like the filthiest thing ever.
Anyway, one of the massage therapists who accused John Travolta of sexually assaulting him at the Beverly Hills Hotel has hired super high-profile attorney Gloria Allred to represent him. This is interesting because this comes just one day after he withdrew from a lawsuit filed by another lawyer. Thought Travolta was off-the-hook? Seems not.
“We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take,” Allred said. Of course, the original suit is still pending, but now, it involves just one male therapist who says he got groped up.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kristen Stewart finally confirms Robert Pattinson as boyfriend, not that anyone cares anymore
DESPITE being the single most boring couple in the entirety of absolutely everything, the world has taken a peculiar interest in Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and whether or not they’re sharing bodily fluids. Of course, they’re not because even basic bodily functions are too bored by this pair to function properly.
Yet, somehow, like two shadows fading in the twilight (see what we did there?), they’ve given in and decided to let the world know that they’re actually courting, as your nana used to say. After years of being pointlessly coy, K.Stew has ‘fessed up.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Louis Walsh attacks Will.I.Am over The Voice in world’s most weak-wristed feud
THE VOICE is irritating enough in its ‘We’re Yet Another Not-X-Factor Show!’ stance. Add Jessie J to the mix and its a wonder the whole of Britain hasn’t chucked itself into the sea. Either way, The Voice is here and the BBC have spent enough money on it to ensure that it’ll be around for at least the next three years, which is galling.
One man who isn’t a fan of the show is, unsurprisingly, The X Factor’s Louis Walsh. He’s decided to get his claws out and stop likening people to Lenny Henry for long enough to slag off Will.I.Am. Funny thing about these two is that they clearly have a lot in common, what with them both obviously being massive, raving [SENTENCE INCOMPLETE THANKS TO WATCHING LEGAL TEAMS].
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Queen to continue elaborate gravedigging of Freddie Mercury with hologram japes
POOR old Queen. They’ve been at a loss since Freddie Mercury – the only one in the group with a modicum of talent or charisma – went and selfishly died, leaving the group to team up with berks like Ben Elton and Dappy from N-Dubz.
Since Freddie shrugged off his mortal coil, Brian May has decided to trade himself as a Diet Slash, appearing anywhere that needs a guitar solo, as well as being chief clog wearer and star-gazer because… well… he can’t offer the world anything else, other than looking exactly like Anita Dobson. Roger Taylor meanwhile is a drummer and, apart from Phil Collins and Don Henley, drummers don’t ever have a career beyond drumming.
Read the rest of this entry »
Mark Ronson had sleepovers at Michael Jackson’s as a child, which starts to explain a few things…
WITHOUT doubt, you will have looked at Mark Ronson’s face at some point and tried to climb through your TV screen or magazine page in an attempt to kick it clean off his head. He’s the most annoying human ever. Ever. Ever, ever, evereververver.
He’s got so much smug that he’s had to buy a second home for it. And that second home is the size of the Death Star. Ronson is so satisfied with himself, it is obvious that he can only reach sexual climax while looking at photographs of himself, while listening to his own music and recounting a list of all the celebrities he thinks he can call ‘friend’ in his mind.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rihanna unfollows Chris Brown… not because he slapped her about, but because of a song
CHRIS BROWN may be the most jarring goon in the world, but Rihanna still stuck by him. Even though he knocked ten shades of shit out of her, she thought she’d hang out with him, lift a restraining order and record a couple of duets with him. Everyone spat feathers and no answers were forthcoming.
It looked for all the world like they were going to get back together and many started to grind their teeth with vexation. However, there’s a development! It seems RiRi has finally had enough of Breezy and his adoring simpletons! So what has he done this time? Well, she’s unfollowed him on twitter (the worst thing anyone could ever do to another human, clearly) after she heard his latest song.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lost star gets charged with DUI… and it isn’t his first brush with boozy bother
YOU may have watched Lost or Party Of Five, looked at Matthew Fox and thought ‘he seems like a nice man… a nice, hunky, stubbly dreamboat of a man’. Well, there’s a strong whiff of booze around him which suggests otherwise.
See, it has been reported that Fox has been charged with two misdemeanours, one of driving under the influence (DUI) and the second, driving without a licence. He got arrested and everything! He was pulled in by the long arm of the law in the early hours of last Friday after an officer noticed his vehicle wasn’t signalling properly… or staying in lane with traffic… and generally being vehicularly erratic. Turned out he’d been drinking.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment
