Posts Tagged ‘News’
Courtney Love to be evicted but she’ll shoot her weird mouth off first
IMAGINE being a very wealthy rockstar. First thing you’d do is buy a house, right? Financial security in bricks and mortar and all that. Well, if you’re Courtney Love, you’ll just not bother and squander your time instead making enemies of everyone you ever encounter.
Courtney Love picks on her own fans at shows, she lambasts the living members of Nirvana, she’s fallen out with her own band, she’s hated by her own daughter… it’s little wonder that her landlord hates her as well.
See, a few months ago, she set fire to her NYC townhouse and now her landlord wants her out. Like now. They’ve also said she owes a load of rent. She thinks otherwise.
Donna Lyon, who reportedly paid $8 million for the townhouse, started eviction proceedings against Love this week, claiming that Cobain’s widow was two months behind on the $27,000 monthly rent and had made unauthorized alterations to the property – which Lyon is currently trying to sell.
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Posted: 16th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Has Justin Lee Collins Been Harassing His Ex-Girlfriend?
SEEN Sesame Street? Seen Barkley the Dog who hangs around with Big Bird? Ever seen it in the same room as Justin Lee Collins?
Anyway, one person who shouldn’t see in the same room as JLC is his ex-girlfriend. They don’t like each other. Alas, that’s not stopped him getting arrested for harassing her. That’s right, the wacky sidekick of Alan Carr is allegedto have caused “fear of violence” in his former girlfriend.
A Hertfordshire Police statement claims: “Police can confirm that Justin Lee-Collins, from London, has been charged at Watford police station with Section 4 harassment (causing fear of violence).”
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Posted: 16th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
John Cleese slams Eric Idle over Monty Python money
PRETTY much everyone involved with Monty Python hates Eric Idle. Of the whole crew, it seems he’s been the most keen to vanish behind the velvet rope and right up his own arse. And now John Cleese has had enough, going openly hostile on his former colleague.
SPLENDID!
The Fawlty Towers star blasted Idle’s comments about the “millions” he has been paid for the musical Spamalot. Idle went public, complaining about the royalty payments he doled out to his fellow Pythons for the musical Spamalot.
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Frankie Cocozza Fights With Girls At X Factor Party While Winking At Big Brother Slot
REMEMBER how ‘real’ Frankie Cocozza was? He was properly, properly real. Not like those other X Factor contestants. He meant it when he sang that song by The Clash. He meant every single word of ‘Rocks’ by Primal Scream. He meant every single name tattooed onto his hairless arse.
Sadly, those that surrounded Cocozza meant it when they gently shoved him into the path of controversy every chance they got. Wanna pint Frankie? Have ten. Wanna girl? Have two, and here’s a line for pep.
Of course, because he got booted off the show, he’s not had much to do. However, he was invited to the X Factor wrap party and of course, he needed to remind the newspapers that he existed. So what did he do?
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Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
ITV Show Zero Confidence In England’s Chances At Euro 2012
WATCHING England has always been problematic since 1966. Basically, Hurst, Charlton, Moore & Co went and got everyone’s hopes up for no good reason. England fans have seen themselves as perennial underachievers, when really, the sad truth is that England just aren’t very good.
Best league in the world? Aye, imports from elsewhere saw to that, not to mention the plethora of excellent non-English managers. Essentially, we’re good at business, administration and hype – not playing football.
And backing up this notion is, remarkably, ITV, who are showing no confidence at all in England’s hopes to even progress out of their group in the European Championships in Poland and Ukraine.
They’ve refused to stump up the cash needed to land the England’s potential Quarter-final and Semi-final, leaving BBC with exclusive rights to England’s games on the off-chance they make it the knock-out phase.
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Charlie Sheen Tweets His Phone Number To Everyone, Like A Fool
SINCE Charlie Sheen went boring (aka looking like he was going to live healthily for the foreseeable future rather than do loads of coke and die), we’ve had to rely on his ex-wife Brooke Mueller for fun. She got arrested for assault and intent to supply quite recently, which is splendidly poorly behaved.
However, all this doesn’t stop the former Two and A Half Men actor from being a boob. See, good ol’ Sheen has been forced change his telephone number after he accidentally tweeted it TO EVERYONE.
More sinister was the fact he was trying to contact Justin Bieber for reasons unknown. If this was a few months ago, we could’ve speculated all manner of things about machetes, adult actresses and Class A drugs… but alas, this is invariably something horrifyingly tedious.
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Posted: 13th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Are Agents To Blame For Lack Of Openly Gay Footballers?
GAYS. They’re everywhere. Seriously. There are literally LOADS of gay people on the planet. Some people take great interest in a person’s sexual preferences whilst others couldn’t care less. The fact remains though that, in every area of human endeavour, you’ll find homosexuals.
Apart from football.
Statistically, there should be loads of gay footballers too, but alas, only two have been open about it. That’s two openly gay footballers in over a century of the game being a professional sport. The first was the tragic Justin Fashanu, the second being Anton Hysen in Sweden.
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Hulk Hogan Files Defamation Suit Against Ex-Wife, Which Is Nice
DIVORCE and break-ups are always tricky things. Splitting up the CD collection. Trying to not punch each other on the nose. The whole trying to have a conversation with someone while crying so badly that you produce snot-bubbles big enough to be a frog’s throat.
When you’re wrestler Hulk Hogan, it must be even trickier. You can just run to the ringside and cup an ear for support. You can tear your vest off and suplex someone to feel better. And so, the next best thing is to sue your ex-wife and claim that she lied and defamed him in her new book.
The 18-page lawsuit claims Linda Bollea wrote “Wrestling the Hulk — My Life Against the Ropes” to help revive her career. She wrote that her husband abused her during their marriage and had homosexual encounters.
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Posted: 9th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Porn Job ‘Terrifies’ Amanda Seyfried: The Linda Lovelace Crymax
WHEN Lindsay Lohan got the chop from the Linda Lovelace biopic for being a big, tragic mess, everyone wondered who would take her gig. That’s because everyone wants to watch a film about porn because it’s likely to feature a lot of sex-scenes but the lighting will be much better than the grot you watch online.
Don’t pretend you don’t.
Anyway, LiLo’s Mean Girls co-star – Amanda Seyfried – has got the job and she’s pretty frightened about the whole Deep Throat thing.
Amanda told ABCNews.com: “It’s going to be really hard and kind of terrifying at the same time.”
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Tom Cruise Drops Top Gun 2 Rumour Bomb
SCIENTOLOGY may well be making everyone dislike Tom Cruise, but he’s still a big celebrity noisemaker. And now, while touting his latest Mission: Impossible film, he’s decided to make everyone sit up and waggle their ears by saying that there’s a Top Gun sequel in the offing.
In fact, it’s ‘being worked on’.
Tom told MTV.com he is still involved, saying:
“I hope we can figure this out to go do it again. If we can find a story that we all want to do, we all want to make a film that is in the same kind of tone as the other one and shoot it in the same way as we shot Top Gun… We’re working on it.”
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Posted: 8th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Charlie Sheen Says Ex Isn’t A Drug Dealer And He’s A Very Trustworthy Source
TIGERBLOOD! Remember when everyone thought it was very funny to say that? It was like those Budweiser toads all over again. Effectively, wearisome after five minutes.
That said, through that period, Charlie Sheen was good value. He punched a chandelier, he ran around with a suitcase filled with cocaine, he stood atop a radio station wafting a machete around and was rumoured to have entirely gold teeth.
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Posted: 8th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Michael Barrymore, shockingly, admits to cocaine possession
MICHAEL Barrymore is a cad isn’t he? He ruled the light-entertainment world with his long, long legs, bug-eyed stared, AWIGHT and of course, his obvious hatred for the general public. With Strike It Lucky, My Kind Of People/Music, Barrymore was untouchable.
Then someone died in his swimming pool and it all went wrong.
Since then, Barrymore has been a bankrupt drunk and Celebrity Big Brother crackpot, never really recreating his madcap popularity, preferring instead, to be a damaged has-been. BBC Four will make a cracking docu-drama on him one of these days.
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Posted: 7th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Amanda Knox: Going Down The Book Route, Rather Than The Nuts Magazine One
GETTING acquitted of murdering someone must be brilliant. Firstly, it means you didn’t kill someone. Secondly, you don’t have to spend the rest of your life in prison. Thirdly, if you’re Amanda Knox, you get to become something of an overnight celebrity with loads of sympathy.
This rule doesn’t work if you’re OJ Simpson sadly.
Anyway, Knox has hired a big-time lawyer (who, if you want to know how big, has represented President Barack Obama and others) to negotiate possible book deals. Appointed is Washington, D.C.-based lawyer Robert Barnett “to represent her in discussions with various book publishers who have expressed an interest in Amanda writing a book,” Knox’s spokesman David Marriott told Reuters.
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Posted: 6th, December 2011 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)
Kardashian Getting Sued Over Alleged Attack On Transgender Woman Chantal Spears (Photos)
HATE crime or equality? You’re about to decide whether or not you can go around lamping people who are transgender. Okay?
So, Khloe Kardashian is apparently being sued for assault in connection with an alleged incident that took place in Hollywood in 2009. According to reports, Kardashian got into a row with a transgender woman named Chantal Spears (aka Ronald Spears) at Playhouse nightclub.
Spears claims that the widest faced Kardashian pushed and struck her “in and about her body“, which conveniently lead to injuries.
It all kicked off when Spears allegedly walked up to Khloe’s husband, Lamar Odom, and told him that he was “too young to be married“.
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Posted: 6th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna To Play In Superbowl, Quite Possibly As A Wide Receiver
MADONNA’S appearance at the next Super Bowl has been one of the worst kept secrets in sports-entertainment. Just like [Whoa there Mr Libel! Name removed by Ed.] being a quite obvious closeted homosexual. Even their wife knows it fercryinoutloud!
Anyway, it has finally been confirmed that Her Madge will be doing the halftime show at Super Bowl XLVI on February 5th. The gig has been rumoured for some time now and it’s clear that the NFL and associated TV stations want to get someone properly famous with a decent back-catalogue on the show after last year’s awful Black Eyed Peas debacle.
And all the stops are being pulled out to say sorry, we won’t book a faddy pop band again as Madonna’s extravaganza will be “imagined” by Cirque du Soleil and her longtime choreographer/creative director Jamie King.
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Brad Pitt Helps Suicidal Fan At Screening Of His Film By Quoting The Little Book Of Calm
HOLLYWOOD is full of idiots and simpletons, but Brad Pitt seems like a good enough chap. And that idea was only furthered when he had some supportive words for a suicidal fan following a special screening of his new movie, Moneyball.
Was the fan suicidal because ‘Moneyball’ is so gaspingly dreadful?
At the Q&A session, Pitt heard how an aspiring actor had been struggling with suicidal thoughts earlier in the day and that, unfathomably, the baseball biopic gave him “a renewed sense of hope”.
A source told USmagazine.com:
“Brad said ‘Look, man, life is up and down, it’s a vicious cycle, but you have to go through it and deal with that. You can be down, but then you come back up again, and every failure can lead to success’.
“Brad handled the situation really well in front of several hundred people – it was a difficult moment that shocked everyone.”
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Posted: 2nd, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tulisa Blames Everything On Her Being Poor On X Factor Apart From Lack Of Knowledge
FOR those who saw the fly-on-the-wall documentary series that followed N-Dubz around (all ten of us then, great), you will have seen Tulisa Contostavlos as a rather canny young woman who was a lot smarter than she let on. And so, her getting the gig on the X Factor was potentially a very good idea.
Alas, along the way, something went wrong. Namely, the thing that went wrong was Tulisa showcasing her gaping lack of knowledge when it comes to popular music. Out of her depth, she’s taken to holding back her (surprisingly) warm personality in favour of constantly sounding like she’s in a job-interview while saying things that are knuckle-whiteningly irritating.
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Posted: 1st, December 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Scarlett Johansson Hates Ryan Reynolds Dirty New Celebrity Girlfriend
YOU may think of Scarlett Johansson as little more than That Actress In That Thing You Dis/Liked or That Woman Who Showed Her Boobs To Everyone By Accident, but she’s clearly more than that.
She’s massively jealous too!
This, of course, comes from a source and, as you know, sources know EVERYTHING. So what’s she getting irked about? Well, the source of ire is her ex-husband, Ryan Reynolds. She may be the one who dumped him and ran off with Sean Penn, but she’s got the hump because he’s got together with professional wild child, Blake Lively.
“When Scarlett split from Ryan after two years of marriage, she quickly rebounded with Sean Penn, even though Ryan still wanted to reconcile,” reported Hollywood Life on the divorce. Around that time, Reynolds and his big dumb face said that he was very much in love with Johansson.
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Posted: 1st, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
1%er Doesn’t Make Much Of The Working Classes, Unsurprisingly: A Banker Speaks
OCCUPY Everywhere (it feels like ‘everywhere’ at the minute) continues, there’s not been too many words coming from the bankers. It seems they’ve been reluctant to speak.
That is, until now. One of the 1%ers has been caught on camera, looking at the protests and, unsurprisingly, he’s rather sniffy about it all.
He effectively tells the cameraman that no-one “great” ever came from the 99%, which is met with a couple of cheeky answers from the person filming events.
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Miley Cyrus Is The New Bob Dylan: Singer Worth $120m Patronises The 99% With Liberty Walk
THE Occupy Movement has created a huge amount of interest around the world. People are protesting against the super wealthy and getting pepper-sprayed right in the eye for their trouble. Like any protest movement, it needs a focal point. A leader. Someone with a song.
Naturally, in the past, we’ve had a myriad of protest singers like Pete Seeger, Woodie Guthrie and in later years to some extent, Bruce Springsteen and NWA. Not Bob Dylan. He didn’t give two hoots about the protesters unless they were buying his LPs and gig-tickets.
So who do we have now? Why, it’s Miley Cyrus! That’s right! She’s decided to soundtrack the Occupy Movement with one of those pop songs! It’s got sirens in it and positive messages AND EVERYTHING!
This neatly distracts everyone from her joke in which she told the world she was a massive stoner. Lucky her, with her salvia bong.
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Posted: 29th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Iron Mike Tyson Sings The Girl From Ipanema While Dressed In A Bad White Suit
That’s right! Iron Mike has been on TV singing The Girl From Ipanema. You know the song don’t you? It goes like this:
“Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goeth walking, and when thee passes each one thee patheth goeth “aaaaaaah!” When thee walkth thee’s like a thamba that, thwingth tho cool and thwayth tho gentle, that when thee patheth each one thee patheth goeth “aaaaah!“
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Charlize Theron Was Bullied At School By People Probably Masturbating Over Her Right Now
BULLYING is no laughing matter, unless of course, someone you hate is being bullied like a racist or a sexist. Bullying is really great then because it’s righteous.
Of course, celebrities were once humans and one such star, Charlize Theron, has revealed that she was bullied at her high school. Bullied, presumably, like loads of other people were bullied who didn’t go on to be hugely famous and masturbated over.
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Posted: 28th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
What Does Lady GaGa Want In Her Dream partner?
WHEN you’re famous, you can demand what you like from a potential suitor. And with Lady GaGa being not-ugly and not-at-all-poor, she can totally decide what she wants from a suitor. So what’s she after? Someone who will treat her like a human being? Someone who cut through the celebrity icing and see the real person beneath?
Don’t be stupid. Celebrities want someone to absolutely and thoroughly buy into their importance. They feed off it. That’s how you get tough enough for the bitch-fight at the top of the pile (before it eventually eats you).
And so, GaGa has been asked about her dream partner. She likes them to have passion and ambition (two meaningless things, granted) but she still finds herself attracted to a wide variety of men. HOW WIDE? WE MUST KNOW!
“It ranges from a really big d**k to a degree at Harvard,” she told to The Sun. “[Plus] talent and perseverance and pushing the boundaries of love and acceptance.”
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Posted: 25th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jimmy Carr Takes Shots At Down Syndrome Sufferers
COMEDIANS love tackling taboo subjects. Many stand-ups see their job as mirth maker, coupled with freedom of speech activists. In the case of the latter, many use their freedom to say what they like to make audiences squirm with hard truths or contentious topics..
However, there are those who just do it to shock, for shocking’s sake, picking on the soft target who can’t fight back. And so, we’ll let you decide what angle M5 death gag teller Jimmy Carr took when he decided to have a pop at Down Syndrome sufferers. (Just like fearless Sun columnist Frankie Boyle’s funnies aimed at the handicapped, and other people less likely to fight back. He’s no Bernard Manning.)
While performing in Warrington, the 8 Out Of 10 Cats host threw this at the audience:
“Why are they called the Sunshine Variety coaches when all the kids on them look the f**king same?”
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Posted: 24th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Silvio Berlusconi Forgets About Crippling Italy To Focus On New LP (no, honest)
ITALY is on its knees at the moment after the terrible administration of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Sure, he may have stepped down, but that doesn’t mean he’s going away. Of course he isn’t. That man couldn’t stay away from the limelight if he was a black hole.
So, in an attempt to forget about allegations of corruption and having sex with underage prostitutes (allegedly, okay watching lawyers?), he’s focusing on ‘True Love‘, which is the name of his new album.
Silvio released the LP yesterday and it’s his fourth with guitarist and former parking attendant Mariano Apicella. He was going to get it on the shelves (and ready for the 9p bin) in September but was a little delayed by Italy sliding into the sea with the weight of its own debt.
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Posted: 23rd, November 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment
