Posts Tagged ‘News’
Occupy Wall Street: Where Reporters Get Whacked And NYPD Brag
THE BIG APPLE is not a jolly place at the moment as the Occupy Wall Street protest continues, despite the fact that the NYPD has been shown to be pretty heavy handed throughout.
And things don’t seem to be easing up either.
On Wednesday night, two Fox reporters got beaten up by the cops (stop laughing). While covering the protests, Fox 5 photographer Roy Isen got maced and reporter Dick Brennan got a smack in the stomach by an officer’s baton.
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Posted: 6th, October 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Coronation Street’s Kevin Webster Arrested For Alleged Sex Offences
WAAAAH, waw whoa wha-whoa-waaaah… yep, that famous brass that signals that start of an episode of Coronation Street is really quite difficult to write down.
Not as difficult though, as the morning that Corrie star Michael Le Vell, who plays Weatherfield veteran Kevin Webster, is having.
He’s been arrested by police on suspicion of sexually abusing a schoolgirl.
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Posted: 6th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Amanda Knox First Press Conference Is An Emotional One (Video)
AMANDA Knox is back on US soil for the first time in more than four years, and moments after stepping off a plane last night in Seattle, the woman who did not kill Meredith Kercher spoke to reporters about her overturned murder conviction in Italy.
She said:
“I’m really overwhelmed right now. I was looking down from the airplane and it was like nothing was real.”
“What’s important for me to say is just thank you to everyone who’s believed in me, who’s defended me, who’s supported my family.”
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Posted: 5th, October 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Bunnyman McCullogh Surprises Everyone By Acting Like A Complete Tool During Gig
ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN frontman Ian McCullouch is a berk of the highest order. Long before Liam Gallagher was spouting off about being the best band in the world, McCullouch was swaggering around like he invented music itself.
Which of course, they didn’t. In fairness, they did peddle some cod-psychedelic indie for a while, before sloping off into the middle distance, only to return in the late ’90s with a bunch of songs that sounded like Starsailor b-sides.
Good for them. Still, it hasn’t stopped Our Ian from preening and posing, as well as causing needless bother in the name of ‘rock ‘n’ roll’.
During a show on Wednesday in Glasgow, McCullouch stormed off-stage and challenged some poor sod to a fight.
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Posted: 4th, October 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The X Factor: Satanism and Drug Animals
THIS year’s X Factor has been more a case of breaking up the commercials with as little actual programme as possible. This of course, means that we’re all in the mood for buying things rather than buying into the soap opera that is ostensibly WWE For Girls.
That’s not to say there haven’t been a whole heap of stories surrounding the contestants of the show.
For starters, it transpired that Lascel Wood had starred in a grot-flick and that Goldie Cheung was one big joke. And now, we’ve got an apparent anti-Satanist stance and mondo drug hoovering.
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Posted: 3rd, October 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
That Stupid Whale Tries To Make Friends With An Engine
EVER since that episode of The Simpsons aired, where dolphins started walking around and killing everyone, humans have had a very real fear of our sea-dwelling chums rising up and handing our arses to us in a lobster pot.
Or is that just us?
Either way, we needn’t worry because everything in the sea is so ridiculously dim, that we can have a great time polluting their habitat and harpooning them through the face without fear of repercussion.
Unless you count plankton. We don’t trust plankton one bit.
So what gave us the notion that the creatures of the sea are more stupid than a boxset of The Only Way Is Essex? Well, take whales. Whales seem pretty smart don’t they? They sing and have sonar. However, they also try to make friends with out-board engines on boats, to the point where they’ve actually bothered to learn how to do an impression of one.
Watch this video and sleep easier tonight, knowing that, while whales may resent us humans, they’ll be too busy trying to stir up a rebellion with inanimate objects.
The dicks.
Posted: 30th, September 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Typewriter Turns Your Words Into Cocktails: Video
WRITERS, authors and bloggers love the image of the upright typewriter. Sure, they don’t actually own one because they are utterly redundant and can’t be plugged into the mains.
You can’t pretend you’re working while dawdling around on twitter either.
That doesn’t stop them from adorning their worthless personal blogs with pictures of typewriters. This is especially foolish when you consider that there is a way… kinda… where you can make a typewriter that is of some use to a writer.
Basically, trade in your romantic, dewy notion of an archaic typing device and replace it with one that gets you blind drunk. If there’s one thing that writers like more than tapping out words, it’s alcoholism.
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Posted: 30th, September 2011 | In: Technology | Comment (1)
Courtney Love To Write Not-Mental-In-Any-Way Autobiography
SHE may have a face like Janice from Dr Teeth’s band, but that hasn’t stopped Courtney Love from draping herself over various pieces of furniture and accidentally tweeting naked pictures of herself for all to see (see below).
She’s great isn’t she? That’s with the caveat of enjoying watching very long, slow nervous breakdowns.
And so, with that, you’ll be thrilled to learn that she’s writing her “no holds barred” memoir, which will once again see the Hole frontwoman digging up Kurt Cobain’s corpse and leaning on it so hard it snaps in two.
Let’s not forget her fondness for hoovering up drugs, her dependency on prescription drugs and the fact that her daughter, Frances, absolutely despises her, allegedly.
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Posted: 30th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Roman Polanski Acknowledges That He Probably Shouldn’t Have Sex With 13 Year Old Girls
IT must be difficult being faced with a supposedly genius filmmaker, especially when he’s got a penchant for having sex with minors.
This was the trouble faced by Ewan McGregor and Kate Winslet, who have both starred in films of Roman Polanski lately, and gushed about how clever he is in print, neatly sidestepping any awkward questions about ALL THAT.
However, oddly, the French-Polish filmmaker is now the one chattering away about it all and has, at long last, managed to mention the thing everyone’s been muttering about for aaaaaaaaaaages.
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Posted: 28th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
FundaMENTAL Christian Shouts At Obama
YES! Politics! Don’t worry, it’s not too political. This is an article about mental people. Mental religious people specifically. Mental religious people in LA no less! Perfect.
Anyway, at a fundraiser in Los Angeles, Prez Obama was playing it cool to a bunch of supporters when the jovial atmosphere was cut in two when some nutjob started howling “one true Christian God!”, followed by the lovely “antichrist” jibe that’s been thrown Barry’s way on countless occasions.
It seems odd that the openly Christian Obama should get chided with accusations of being the antichrist, but hey ho, that’s fundamentalist American Christians for you.
The Christian man shouts:
“The Christian God is one and only true living God! The creator of heaven and the universe! Jesus Christ is God! Jesus Christ is God! Jesus Christ is still our God! Jesus Christ is still God! You are the Antichrist!”
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Posted: 28th, September 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Detroit Cop KOs Man In Casino
YES, we all know that the police forces of the world have a pretty lousy job. They have to do some pretty unpopular things in their bid to keep law abiding citizens safe.
However, sometimes it feels like they’re not there to protect civvy street at all. As we saw in yesterday’s video, the NYPD got very hands-on with some protesters at Wall Street.
While the New York video is pretty tough to watch in places, that’s got nothing on the casino surveillance video which is at the heart of a lawsuit against the police department of Detroit.
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Posted: 27th, September 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Anyone For A Game Of Dodgeball? 2,000 Aside Sound Okay?
DODGEBALL. It means very little to anyone outside of America, save that dreadful film that did the rounds a while back.
However, we’ve stumbled across a video that isn’t just your average, run-of-the-mill game of stupid dodgeball. This is mondo stupid dodgeball with 4,000 people split across two teams with 750 balls.
Yup. It’s the biggest game of dodgeball in the world… EVER!
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Maradona Kicks Fan, Which Is Just Brilliant
THERE are many people out there who hate Diego Maradona. These people are stupid. Very, very stupid. Maradona is exactly the kind of nutter that we need in football.
Wild, unpredictable, temperamental with flashes of genius and a mouth that can easily run away with itself much more readily than the legs were ever willing, Diego reminds us of a time when football still had something of a personality.
Now, all we have are sneering, preening swans like Ronaldo and Nani or the likeable, but ultimate personality vacuum, Messi.
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Shock As German Gays Hate Pope!
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THERE may be only one letter difference between pop and Pope, but the gays of Germany certainly know the difference.
While pop and poppers may give them the occasional headache, Pope Benedict is a whole new level of pain in the arse. And as such, his first official visit to his homeland is to meet strong opposition.
The Pontiff, in his funny red shoes like the David Bowie song, has made informal visits to Germany before, but this is his first official visit.
Up to 20,000 people, including gay rights campaigners, feminists, atheists and church abuse survivors, are expected to gather for a protest in Berlin. Meanwhile, the Pope is expected to completely disregard anything anyone says because he’s God’s best friend.
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Posted: 22nd, September 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Robert Pattinson Isn’t Recording A Solo Album, Okay?
TEENS, we have bad news for you. Really bad news. Robert Pattinson isn’t recording an album. You’re just going to have to go back to your shirtless photographs of him, your Twilight DVDs and continue to save your pocket money until you can afford a vampire glitter tongue compressor.
See, US Weekly reported wrongly that RPattz was itching to get into a studio and record his own songs. Alas, sources said that poor ol’ Rob was torn between being a thesp and his love of music.
BUT THOSE STUPID SOURCES LIED!
Pattinson’s rep, says:
“The report is untrue. He is not working on an album right now.”
Please note the cute use of ‘right now’. That means, should Pattinson have a break from acting to pen his music, there’s a window for him to do it.
Sadly, for you fawning divs, you’ll have to settle for his previously recorded ‘Never Think‘ and ‘Let Me Sign‘ which appear on the Twilight soundtrack.
Yep – that is the music you hear and not the pounding a million pubescent hearts…
Posted: 21st, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Tony Bennett Says Sorry For Blaming America For 9/11
GUANTANAMERA! Guajira Guantanamera! Yep, Tony Bennett must’ve been a bit worried he was going to get shipped off to Guantanamo Bay for some special torture after he said that the whole 9/11 thing was the fault of America itself.
While promoting his new album, Duets II, on Howard Stern’s radio show, Bennett said that the U.S. was responsible for the September 11th attacks on New York and Washington, D.C.
“They flew the plane in, but we caused it.”
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Posted: 21st, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lady GaGa Pours Champagne Onto The Disabled People Of New York
WHAT is the correct term of disabled people these days? Obviously ‘people’ is more than adequate as one doesn’t want to define everyone by their disabilities.
However, in this instance, their disability is key to the story as we attempt to paint a picture of Lady GaGa being ghoulish and nasty.
See, the singer – while at a New York Giants game – was pictured pouring champagne into a section designated for handicapped fans at MetLife Stadium last night.
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Posted: 20th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Paul McCartney: All He Needs Is Wedding Cake
WAVE a peace sign! Why? Because it shows you just how many Beatles are left on this dreadful planet of ours! And, once again, Paul McCartney is showing the world his love of wedding cake by getting married again.
Sir Macca and fiancée Nancy Shevell have formally given notice with London’s Marylebone Register Office of their intention to marry one off all over each other. Paul will be hoping that this one won’t be anything like that last one who went mental on GMTV.
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Posted: 16th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Lindsay Lohan Back On Form As She’s Accused Of Lobbing A Drink At A Photographer!
TIGER BLOOD may no longer be running through Charlie Sheen’s veins, now that he’s announced he’s sober/tedious, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up on gawping at tragic celebrities who can’t stay out of trouble. See: Lindsay Lohan.
That’s because, despite her best efforts, Lindsay Lohan is causing small controversy again.
This time, she’s ALLEGEDLY (great word – you can write any ol’ junk if you include it in an article) thrown a drink over a photographer at a New York Fashion Week junket.
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Posted: 15th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Should The Next Doctor Who Be A Woman?
NERDS! How do you feel about the prospect of Doctor Who having boobs? Essentially, the question here is that, should there be a Doctor Whoman, would you be angry, disappointed or aroused?
You may think ‘It’ll never happen!’ thanks to some spurious tidbit of knowledge you gleaned from some grotty reference book you’ve had since you were eight, but the calls for the writers of this Whovian slop to branch out increase, year on year.
And now, John Barrowman is shouting too. In a really tuneful, stage-school way, naturally.
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Posted: 14th, September 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Brian May Considered Suicide But Still Lives On In Those Clogs Of His
KEEN star-gazer and Tory brown-nose, Brian May From Queen, has admitted to irritated journalists, that he considered killing himself following the death of Freddie Mercury in 1991.
Sadly, he talked himself out of it and went on to perform the UK national anthem on top of Buckingham Palace for Her Majesty The Queen.
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Posted: 13th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
Jermaine Jackson Shocked At How Dead Michael Jackson Didn’t Look Very Well: Photos
THE JACKSONS are not a normal family. For starters, they had a belt-thrash happy pappy who tormented and bullied them ’til they sang like champions and, well, grew up warped.
Then, there’s the whole Michael thing. Michael Jackson was a man clearly unwell in the mind. And of course, his less-famous siblings were apparently keen to join him into the depths of insanery.
Why else did Jermaine Jackson named his daughter Jermajesty?
These days, Jermaine can’t decide whether to speak highly of his now dead brother, or indeed, slate him.
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Posted: 12th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Brave Liver (Chopped): Mel Gibson To Make Film About Jewish Hero Judah Maccabee
JEWS! What do you make of Mel Gibson? He’s not exactly been Mr Popular with the Jews after being accused of anti-semitism when resisting arrest a while ago.
If you don’t remember, Gibbo is alleged to have yelled:
“You motherfucker! I’m going to fuck you! Fucking Jews! The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”
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Posted: 9th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
Is Rihanna Is 2011’s Sexiest Woman? You Decide
RIHANNA! You’ve pretty much seen all she has to offer, penetrative sex aside. Those leaked photos of her with no clothes on may have embarrassed her at the time, but since then, she’s blossomed into a fully blown exhibitionist.
Almost to saturation point where, sometimes, you almost wish she’d put some clothes on and stop talking about her various sexual needs.
However, she must be doing something right because she’s been declared the sexiest women of 2011!
Which poll? The poll hosted by Esquire magazine, who wanted to ask its readers the tough questions that were affecting the world right now. And thank God they’ve managed to find out who the sexiest star of the year is.
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Posted: 7th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jessie Wallace Has Soap Opera Of A Honeymoon After Being Cheated On
DUM-DUM-DUM-DI-DUM-DIDIDIDDY! Kat off Eastenders, not better known as Jessie Wallace, has been having a lousy time of it lately. She was supposed to be getting married to a chap called Vince Morse, but it all went a bit Albert Square.
See, Jessie dumped Vince (hopefully via Morse code, which could’ve potentially read “..-. ..- -.-. -.- -.– — ..-“) just hours before the wedding after she found out he’d sent a dirty photo of the actress to an ex.
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Posted: 6th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
