Posts Tagged ‘News’
Justin Bieber: ‘I Don’t Give a F*ck’
MANY have waited for Justin Bieber to go a bit mental. When he first came out, he was too saccharine. He was just too sweet. Then, when his balls decided to drop, he started acting up. He got a bunch of tattoos, swore at some press people, nearly had a baby with a woman he’d never met and spat off a balcony at his fans.
How we all cheered that a young man’s brain was imploding!
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Posted: 20th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Watsky’s 30ft Stage Dive Goes Wrong… Wanna See The Video?
MUSICIANS are adorable aren’t they? They’re never too bright and they get silly ideas and see them through without thinking about it. Look at Johnny Borrell’s entire career. Look at Thom Yorke thinking he’s a clever man. It’s sweet.
Anyway, rapper Watsky has had to apologise for being ‘stupid and wildly irresponsible’ after leaping from a lighting rig and injuring two people during a London gig.
Performing at the Vans Warped Tour at Alexandra Palace, he decided to climb up the light rigging and leap from 30ft in the air into the crowd.
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Noel Edmonds And More Ungodly Horrors: When Radio DJs Invaded The Pop Charts
YOU may or may not be aware, Noel Edmonds is making his way to the pop charts with an unlikely appearance in a dance track (warning, it is rather abrasive).
You can hear it below. Of course, he’s not the first radio DJ to have a stab at the charts, so with that, let us look at some of the weird and wonderful moments in pop music when radio jockeys ended up in the beast they presided over.
Noel Edmonds
Candice Cannes’ Are You Ready features Noel Edmonds in his Deal Or No Deal guise while a woman mutters nonsense in a seductive voice.
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Posted: 18th, November 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment
Dayna Morales: Waitress Denied Tip For Being Gay – Internet Goes Crazy And Lovely
UPDATE: A husband and wife tell NBC 4 New York they did leave a tip. They say they have a credit card statement as proof. The tip was a generous $18. The wife says: “We’ve never not left a tip when someone gave good service, and we would never leave a note like that.”
Morales adds: “I don’t know, all I know is what I’ve been saying.”
Morales had recently announced that people were sending her tips from all over the world, and was donating some of the money to the Wounded Warrior Project. “I just felt like people have a right to know that — it’s fine if people want to donate to her or to the Wounded Warriors, but they’re doing it under a false pretense,” the wife said.
…..
This is the original story:
WE all know that idiots get weird around gay people. Presumably their brains get tied in knots because they constantly and vividly imagine all that sex they do. They get a clear image in their minds about glistening gay naked bodies all writhing around. That’s because, absolutely 100% across the board, bigots are all a bit pervy.
And so to a waitress in New Jersey who had her £10 tip withheld and was left a crappy note by a bigoted customer, allegedly. She says she was denied her tip because she is a gay woman. She told the internet and now, she’s been inundated with more than £1,000 in donations from around the world.
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Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Money, Reviews, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comments (2)
Let Us Look At Andy Kaufman’s Best, While He Fakes His Death
ACCORDING to the brother of comedy legend, Andy Kaufman, the star faked his own death in 1984 and is still alive. Appearing at an award show named in Andy’s honour, Michael Kaufman said he had received a letter from his brother, confirming he was alive, in 1999.
He then introduced a woman who claimed to be Andy’s 24-year-old daughter.
Of course, bizarre things like this, farcical situations, uncomfortable silences, half truths and all that fun stuff, followed Andy Kaufman wherever he went. This is likely to be another case.
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Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Reviews | Comment
Why Have The Tories Been Hiding All Their Speeches Under Their Beds?
ONCE, politicians were thrilled with their speeches. They’d be written down and shared and MPs would pat themselves on the back, all the way to the House of Lords.
However, the Conservatives have been acting really weird and looking for all the world like they’re ashamed of their past.
They have attempted to erase a record of all party speeches from the internet; the ones given in the decade before they came to power. What are they up to?
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Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment
Roberto Di Matteo Still Being Paid Daft Amounts Of Money By Chelsea
LIKE feeling depressed? Money a bit tight and worried about Christmas? Well, check this – Roberto Di Matteo is still being paid £130,000-a-week by Chelsea.
The Italian was sacked by Chelsea 12 months ago and the club are still picking up the tab and all RDM has to do is sit and watch Jeremy Kyle all day and keep his mouth shut.
Remarkably, Di Matteo didn’t even agree a pay-off settlement when he got the chop at Stamford Bridge, yet, he’ll still see his bank account ticking over nicely until he gets a new job.
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Top 10 Mike Tyson KOs (Possibly Done On Drugs)
IRON Mike Tyson has admitted in his autobiography that he was on all manner of drugs during some of his fights and even used a fake penis to fool dope testers.
Tyson spoke about all this in his book, Undisputed Truth, which stated that he’d taken ‘blow’ and ‘pot’ before fight. Imagine how good he would’ve been if he wasn’t stoned.
He then revealed how he managed to avoid detection: ‘I had to use my whizzer, which was a fake penis where you put in someone’s clean urine to pass your drug test,’ he said.
Mike also took cocaine and blames that for his press conference brawl with Lennox Lewis, where Tyson bit Lennox’s leg!
Either way, with all that in mind, let us look back at some of Mike Tyson’s finest knock-outs and, in amongst them, you’ll find a little treat, different from the rest.
Spinks KO
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Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Sacha Baron Cohen Kills Elderly Lady During Acceptance Speech
AT this year’s British Academy of Film and Television Arts’ (BAFTA) Britannia Awards in Los Angeles, Sacha Baron Cohen was awarded some kind of gong for being brave and, presumably, funny.
However, he ended up killing an old woman who was in a wheelchair. You can see the video below.
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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
‘Sweetie’ Is After You Paedos
ARE you a paedophile? Stop it and put it away. If you want to have sex with a child, then perhaps you should re-invent The Krankies. If not, you’ll be offered a Sweetie.
Of course, we’re not talking about giving humbugs to child-abusers, but rather, there’s a computer generated child called Sweetie who is out to catch you weird sods.
And more than a hundred Britons were among the thousand caught trying to pay Sweetie money to perform sex acts online, after a children’s charity set up a fake profile.
Terre des Hommes carried out their 10-week honey trap in Holland, posing on video chat rooms as “Sweetie”, a 10-year-old girl from the Philippines. 20,000 men got in touch and 1,000 offered her money. The worst offenders were from America, UK and India, although, you can assume the Daily Mail will blame Muslims somehow.
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Ryanair’s Michael O’Leary In Quotes
RYANAIR chief executive Michael O’Leary is man known for opening his mouth and letting absolutely anything fall out of it. He’s in the papers today saying that burkas should be banned in the UK and claimed the country is “leaning over far too much for some of these minority religions”.
He said: “I think we should ban burkas here in the UK. If you go to Saudi Arabia and they say the ladies have to veil up, you respect the local culture. If you want to come and live in Western society, I don’t think you should be allowed to walk around with some inalienable right to cover yourself up with only your eyes looking out.”
He also said he doesn’t buy into climate change, adding: “Temperatures have been moving up and down for 200 years yet every time you have a couple of warm summers they go — “Oooh, global warming’. There’s a degree of arrogance in thinking that any man-made phenomenon is going to change nature. Trying to reverse it by taxing air travel is absurd. We should encourage more driving and flying around because that kind of economic activity is what generates great wealth.”
Let us peer into his other views on the world.
On refunds: “You’re not getting a refund so f*ck off. We don’t want to hear your sob stories. What part of ‘no refund’ don’t you understand?”
On fat people: “Nobody wants to sit beside a really fat bastard on board. We have been frankly astonished at the number of customers who don’t only want to tax fat people but torture them.”
On people who forget to print their boarding pass: “We think [they] should pay 60 euros for being so stupid.”
On customer service: “People say the customer is always right, but you know what – they’re not. Sometimes they are wrong and they need to be told so.”
On Guardian readers: “The chattering bloody classes, or what I call the liberal Guardian readers, they’re all buying SUVs to drive around London. I smile at these loons who drive their SUVs down to Sainsbury’s and buy kiwi fruit from New Zealand. They’re flown in from New Zealand for Christ sakes. They’re the equivalent of environmental nuclear bombs!”
On green campaigners: “We want to annoy the fuckers whenever we can. The best thing you can do with environmentalists is shoot them. These headbangers want to make air travel the preserve of the rich. They are luddites marching us back to the 18th century. If preserving the environment means stopping poor people flying so the rich can fly, then screw it.”
On his popularity: “I don’t give a shit if no-one likes me. I am not a cloud bunny, I am not an aerosexual. I don’t like aeroplanes. I never wanted to be a pilot like those other platoons of goons who populate the airline industry.”
On a bomb scare in Scotland: “The police force were outstanding in their field. But all they did was stand in their field. They kept passengers on board while they played with a suspect package for two and three quarter hours. Extraordinary.”
Discussing his plans for a transatlantic Ryanair: “In economy no frills; in business class it’ll all be free – including the blowjobs”
On his wedding day, asked if the bride would be late: “Yes, she’s flying Aer Lingus”
On Michael O’Leary: “I’m probably just an obnoxious little bollocks. Who cares?”
On the future: “Making the world a better place… by taking a vow of silence”
What’s All This About A Brazilian Prostitute Filming Justin Bieber While He Sleeps?
DANCING foetus, Justin Bieber, has been trying his darnedest to be a man in recent years, spitting off balconies, giving fruity hand gestures to paps and generally throwing wobblers all over the place.
Now, he’s found himself in the middle of a very weird scenario with one woman filming him while he slept.
The story went like this: The woman who videotaped a sleeping Bieber was a prostitute. The unidentified woman blows a kiss to a passed out popstar and everyone assumed she was a prostitute that the singer had paid for.
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Posted: 7th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Music | Comment
Silk Road Rises From The Grave So Let’s Buy All The Drugs!
WHEN the FBI closed down dodgy website, Silk Road, they probably thought their work was done. However, this is the internet and people have a habit of not going away.
Five weeks after the drug vendors bit the dust, Silk Road 2.0 came online (“we have risen again”) and the site’s mastermind has adopted the Dread Pirate Roberts namesake used by (alleged) Silk Road founder Ross Ulbricht.
A tweet said: “#SILKROAD IS BACK UP. DEJA VU ANYONE? #WERISEAGAIN
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Posted: 7th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Dizzee Rascal Goes Nutso Against Radio 1
Dizzee Rascal is a loveable scamp isn’t he? He went from grime king to the molly court jester who appeared on Newsnight saying he wouldn’t mind being Prime Minister.
He probably doesn’t stand much of a chance now as his diplomacy skills have been left wanting after he went off on one against Radio 1 on Twitter.
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Posted: 6th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Michelle Pfeiffer And The Tale Of Her Mental Times In A Cult
REMEMBER when Michelle Pfeiffer lived on nothing but sunlight. No food, no water, no nothing that wasn’t sunlight? You don’t, but she certainly does as she was in a completely barking cult at the time.
You seem, Pfeiffer was a breatharian.
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Posted: 6th, November 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Is Jane Austen Too Airbrushed On The New Banknote?
THE Bank of England decided that they needed to get some women involved on our currency. The hooters and sneerers pointed out that The Queen was pretty ubiquitous on our money, but everyone else acknowledged that it was a bit of a sausagefest and that we’re lucky enough to have some incredible achievements from womenfolk and that should be celebrated.
And so, we ended up with Jane Austen, and no-one could argue with her outstanding contribution to the English language.
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How Much Would You Buy Someone’s Virginity For? Shatuniha Is Asking £17,000 (Photos)
VIRGINITY. A weird notion. A name given to something you haven’t done yet. Imagine if everything we hadn’t done had a special word. Is there a designated word for someone who hasn’t tried pickled onion Monster Munch yet? There should be because, when it comes down to it, someone’s virginity and pickled onion Monster Munch are about as important as each other (although the latter has more sustained and dependable pleasures).
Either way, people value virginities much more highly than things you can buy from the corner shop. While snacks cost under a quid, one Russian teenager has sold her virginity online for £17,000.
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Posted: 4th, November 2013 | In: Money, Reviews, Strange But True | Comments (4)
Arsenal Fans Will Enjoy This String Of Incredible Misses
ARSENAL may be having a ball in the Premier League at the moment, but what about their Argentinian namesakes? Well, Arsenal de Sarandi have also had a decent start to the season, nd luck is certainly on their side too, as their match with All Boys shows, from Friday.
With All Stars through on goal, striker Javier Campora saw his cheekily chipped attempt come back off the crossbar and he met the rebound, which he managed to clobber the woodwork again.
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You Can Now Buy Back To The Future Style Hoverboards
PEOPLE have long moaned that, now we live in the future, where are our hoverboards? Well, glad you asked because some bright spark has decided to do something about it!
ZBoard have been inspired by the hoverboard in Back to the Future and manufactured a hi-tech weight sensing electric skateboard, which has the same design as the board Marty McFly rode.
The limited edition board uses a pressure pad on the front which allows you to move without ever needing to put your feet on the ground and can manage 20 miles of electrically-assisted skateboarding.
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Posted: 1st, November 2013 | In: Film, The Consumer | Comment
Prince George To Find Out Just How Peculiar Human Beings Are
HE might be only 3 months old, but shitting hell, Prince George is on a steep learning curve to find out how bizarre the human race is.
Today, third in line to a chair, he found himself being dipped in some water while someone said something about Jesus. Not just any water though. This water came all the way from the River Jordan, presumably purified to the point of Evian.
He was dragged to a huge building where there’s also a load of rotting corpses by a man who sometimes wears bejeweled dressing gowns, massive pointy hats and asks for advice from talking clouds.
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Posted: 1st, November 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment
Good Riddance To Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? A Pointless Spectacle Of Greed
FIFTEEN years ago – and it seems much, much longer than that – Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? first aired on our screens. And now, it is set to end following Chris Tarrant’s decision to leave the show.
He said: “It’s been a huge part of my life for fifteen years and I’ve loved every minute of it, but it is time for me to move on from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. It’s been the most remarkable journey and I consider myself very fortunate to have been associated with Millionaire from its inception.”
And good riddance.
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Posted: 1st, November 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Why People Moaning About Susan Boyle And Elvis Are Stupid And Wrong
PART-TIME music snobs have been tutting and sighing about the imminent Christmas single featuring both Susan Boyle and Elvis. They think Elvis represents something sanctified and Boyle, something awful. These people, clearly, have little knowledge in either and, in fact, don’t realise how this duet makes a whole load of sense.
When asked about the duet, Susan Boyle was as puzzled as anyone, saying: “To sing with Elvis, I didn’t think it would be possible… isn’t technology brilliant? Dueting with Elvis was beyond my wildest dreams and now that this is able to raise money and help children, it is simply fantastic.”
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Posted: 31st, October 2013 | In: Music | Comments (5)
Star Wars Blooper Reel Turns Op Online
STAR WARS is a film that is extraordinarily well documented and new stuff shows up all the time. However, one of the best finds is this original blooper reel from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope which has been released.
Originally released by Lucasfilm editor JW Rinzler for this summer’s Comic-Con, the footage features Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Alec Guinness and some Stormtroopers that will make you titter.
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Animals: They’re All Thieves, Especially These Ducks, Seagulls, Sealions And Dogs
EVERYONE thinks animals are so wonderful and they’re not. They’re poo machines who think of humans as elaborate tin-openers and dung shovelers. And we’re stupid enough to believe they care for us.
When folks aren’t watching, stood atop their hind legs, animals are out making mugs of us. They crap on our rugs, bury their faeces in our gardens, sleep on our beds after rolling around in their own vomit and then die prematurely, just to make us cry.
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Posted: 29th, October 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Rocketman: Tom Hardy To Play Obvious Doppelganger, Elton John (Eddie Murphy Busy)
IF you were given the job of finding an actor who looked like Elton John, one of the last people you’d choose was Tom Hardy. You’d inevitably go for Eddie Murphy before him, as at least he could play the entire cast of the film with a variety of masks (and he’s got previous when it comes to making soulful pop).
Yet, here we are, looking at a musical biopic called Rocketman, which will feature the man-mountain who played Charles Bronson and supervillain Bane in the last Batman movie, as the little Candle In The Wind singer.
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Posted: 28th, October 2013 | In: Celebrities, Film, Music | Comment
