Posts Tagged ‘News’
Sex Box: Channel 4 to broadcast people silently shagging in a plastic box
CHANNEL 4 are going to show a programme that will feature couples having sex in a sound-proofed box in a TV studio with audience, which isn’t sinister version of The Cube at all.
Three couples (two straight and one gay) will take turns to step into the box before being asked questions by host Mariella Frostrup and a panel of hooting sex experts in the new show Sex Box.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, September 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Pepsi drop massive clanger thanks to dreadful choice of ‘RAPE’ typeface
PEPSI and Coca Cola are always at war, and Coke must be laughing their asses off this week as their blue-canned pals made a horrendous error with one of their marketing campaigns.
Thanks to a dismal choice of typeface, Pepsi’s ‘Aape’ campaign looked more like they were siding themselves with sexual assault.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, September 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Rylan Clark bites back at critics of his weird teeth
JUST as a lack of teeth really defines a pensioner’s face, so do brand new, bright blue Hollywood veneers, as sported by half of the people you’ll ever see on the tellybox.
One notable tooth-haver is Rylan Clark, who has teeth so large, he looks just like Cleanyourteeth from Stoppit & Tidyup. So magnificent are Rylan’s gnashers, that they’ve got their own Twitter account.
Well, Rylan has hit back at critics, declaring that “half of them haven’t even got a tooth in their heads”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Top 10 masked bands of all time (volume 1)
SINCE time immemorial singers have coloured their faces or hidden behind masks. The masks enable the singers to be freer, take on news personas and cut loose. We’ve flicked through the record archives here at Anorak Towers and now bring you the Top 10 masked pop stars and groups of all time:
Gwar
Without doubt, the funniest masked band of all time, are the might Gwar. In their time, they’ve cut off limbs, given birth to ghouls and wheeled out giant menstruating beasts on stage. Their warty, demon masks are almost as important as their brand of schlock rock and god bless the lot of ’em.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, September 2013 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)
EDL go after Tulisa Contostavlos
THE EDL are, clearly, upset about lots of things and you wouldn’t want them turning up outside your house unannounced (people have a hard enough time when they turn out unannounced in their town).
Now, Tulisa Contostavlos is being ‘targeted’ by EDL leader Tommy Robinson. The singer reportedly called police after spotting the English Defence League leader outside her home.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, September 2013 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment
Watch the $1 Million FAIL
LIFE isn’t fair and no-one promised you a damn picnic.
With that in mind, one Wheel of Fortune contestant missed out on the chance of winning $1million after an unfortunate case of his mouth falling asleep.
Read the rest of this entry »
BBC News presenter can’t tell the difference between an iPad or a stack of paper
LIVE TV is a treacherous thing at the best of times, as a BBC News presenter fond out when he delivered a bulletin holding a pack of photocopier paper instead of an iPad.
Simon McCoy was doing his thing to camera, talking about ‘drunk tanks’ (not nearly as exciting as they sound) when he accidentally picked up a stack of A4 paper instead of his tablet.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, September 2013 | In: Technology, TV & Radio | Comment
Rich kid Jaden Smith thinks school is for losers like Malala Yousufzai
JADEN Smith thinks that the world would be a much better place if everyone dropped out of school. Of course, he might be a bit young… and rich… and mental, for saying something so bold.
The actor and son of mega stars Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith went on a Twitter rant about the whole thing, going nutso about education and the general rules of society.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Should Spurs fans say the word ‘Yid’?
LOTS of people say words that make others feel uncomfortable. Look at 99% of every hip hop record made in the last 30 years. People also feel funny when they hear the word ‘vagina’, which is pretty weird.
In football, Tottenham fans have reclaimed the word ‘Yid’ – an antisemetic term that was once the mainstay of rival teams, looking to put the wind up the North London club. Spurs fans now refer to themselves as the Yid Army and sing a number of songs using the Y-bomb.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, September 2013 | In: Sports | Comments (9)
Blobfish is the champion of minging animals
ALL animals, in their own way, are preposterously ugly. They defecate everywhere and probably eat their own sick while mating in public.
However, the demonstrably beautiful human race need to decide which of our beastly cousins is the ugliest. So we did a poll and took some votes while animals ate each other in the wild.
And of course, the winner was the blobfish, named the ugliest on the planet.
The blobfish, with its face like perished ham and an air of utter misery, topped a poll featuring some of the planet’s weirdest looking creatures.
Thousands voted for the blobfish to become the new mascot for the Ugly Animal Preservation Society (UAPS) in partnership with the National Science + Engineering Competition. The ugliest animal shortlist can be seen here. And Christ, some of them are vomit inducing, such as the titicaca scrotum frog and pig-nosed monkey.
Naturally, there’s a nice thing behind all this. We humans don’t just want to point out the flaws of other creatures (unless you write for Heat magazine, of course). The campaign’s aim is to give ugly animals threatened by extinction a voice and is backed people like Stephen Fry and Simon Pegg.
Brian Cox said: “I support the ugly animal campaign, there are too many people trying to save cute animals. They get all the press, and all the attention. Ugly animals are more deserving than cute animals. So I think it is a superb campaign.”
Simon Watt, biologist and president of the society, added: “We’ve needed an ugly face for endangered animals for a long time and I’ve been amazed by the public’s reaction. For too long the cute and fluffy animals have taken the limelight but now the blobfish will be a voice for the mingers who always get forgotten.”
Awww. Aren’t humans adorable?
Posted: 12th, September 2013 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)
GTA5: Looks like it will be life ruiningly large
EVERYBODY who plays video games – and that’s rarely pasty loners picking crumbs from their cracks in their mum’s basements because things have changed significantly in the past two decades – is incredibly excited about the imminent Rockstar Games’ Grand Theft Auto 5 (or GTA5 or GTA V to everyone else).
Previously, GTA improved with increasingly decent soundtracks, improved gameplay and such. However, GTA5 is a different ballpark. It looks nicer, has an eye-watering amount of new things to do and, it will be social life cripplingly large! WHICH IS EXCELLENT NEWS!
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, September 2013 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment
Arctic Monkeys on X Factor and beer bellies
THE world of rock music is a dreary place at the moment and one of the few likeable bands on the circuit are Sheffield’s Arctic Monkeys. Whether you like their music or not, they seems to stand for something rather good. They’re defenders of the working classes without being boorish. They’ve always had half decent haircuts. They have fuzz pedals.
And in an interview on Newsnight, AM’s frontboy Alex Turner got onto pop music.
Turner defended the existence of X Factor:
“People get too angry about X Factor and talent shows. Just let them get on with it; you need that to kick against. People talk about how that’s ruined everything but there’s always been shitty pop music,whether it came from a television show or not.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Bob Geldof to be blasted off into space
NEVER, in the history of humankind, has someone from Ireland been sent into space… unless you count the people who think they’ve been there after losing their sight and minds drinking poitín cut with antifreeze.
However, that’s all about to change as Bob Geldof is all set to become the first Irishman to travel into space when he spends $100,000 on a ticket for the inaugural Space Expedition Corporation (Sxc) commercial flight next year.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Susan Boyle’s Christmas LP to feature Elvis’ ghost
REMEMBER when everyone didn’t think Susan Boyle could sing because she wasn’t a young woman with an attractive face, wearing a snapback cap hi-tops? Then she sang with that soaring Radio 2 voice and everyone felt a bit bad, before continuing to continually talk about her looks because we’d learned nothing?
Well, while everyone has been working out whether they’re arseholes or not, Susan has been conquering the world with her easy-listening, raking in huge amounts of cash and forgetting all about us sausage roll dribbling plebs who have to queue up for things and worry about our mobile bills.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities, Music | Comment (1)
New RoboCop trailer released – start wetting yourself with excitement, now!
THE original RoboCop movie was a tense, bleak affair and any notion of remaking it was going to set everyone’s phasers to ‘uh-oh’. With that, the release of the trailer for the new movie will inevitably swing people either way.
Of course, there’ll be haters… but they’re wrong. That’s because the new RoboCop looks ACE!
Joel Kinnaman replaces Peter Weller as Murphy, who goes from Injured Cop to Super Cool Robot Cop.
There’s a fun cast too, including Samuel L. Jackson (of course), Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton (welcome back!), plus Abby Cornish as Murphy’s wife.
The new trailer shows loads of things getting shot, blown up and punched, which is all well and good, but the best bit is when Michael Keaton basically says ‘let’s make him look more bad-ass by making RoboCop’s suit black’.
There’s also a lovely ‘who is in control of the technology? The machine or man?’ which we’ll no doubt be able to read into, concerning our own technological habits… but mainly, it looks like it’ll be a hoot with loads of fighting and a cool baddie.
RoboCop should be released on Feb. 7, 2014. Here’s the trailer.
Photo :Michael Keaton, left, Samuel L. Jackson, center, and Joel Kinnaman attend the “RoboCop” panel on Day 3 of Comic-Con International on Friday, July 19, 2103 in San Diego.. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
We kid you not – man to marry his goat
A BRAZILIAN bloke is going to get married to his pet goat, which isn’t sinister at all. Aparecido Castaldo, aged 74, has decided to end his days as a bachelor boy and marry his beloved Carmelita.
The happy couple will totter down the aisle next month in Igreja do Diabo (or, in English, the Devil’s Church) in the Brazilian city of Jundiai.
Aparecido has been in love with his stinking pet for two years and says a goat has advantages over a human companion.
“She doesn’t speak and doesn’t want money,” says the father of eight presumably traumatised children, who have been vomiting into their laps, solidly, since their clearly troubled father broke the news.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, September 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment
All hail the My Little Pony CV!
FANS of My Little Pony are terrifying. They’re not children. They’re all adults who like watching talking ponies fly around with their day-glo skin and are more obsessive than Breaking Bad and Smiths fans put together.
And so, to a My Little Pony CV that some lunatic sent into a potential workplace.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, September 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Derek Acorah will ‘read’ your phone for ghosts
IN a move that in no way shows you that those who ‘talk’ to the dead are charging for something that’s a complete crock, Derek Acorah has using his ‘skills’ to read people just by looking at their phones.
Seriously.
The medium – known for Living TV’s Most Haunted and his impossibly bright teeth – teamed up with TalkTalk to spend the day asking members of the public to lend them their handsets.
Acorah surprised/frightened shoppers as he appeared to reveal personal details about their lives.
“I know you like music,” he told one woman, before she revealed that she’s an opera singer. Not that ‘you like music’ applies to anyone who have functioning ears.
Have a look at Acorah in action before asking yourself if you could sleep at night carrying on like that.
Posted: 5th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Australian newsreader: “Tonight, I’m going to sound like a drunk…”
THE news is so often stuffy and depressing, that it’s nice when it goes a bit awry. Take, for example, the news anchor in Australia who is going viral no doubt, after her late-night bulletin was coloured with a rather peculiar on-air comment.
WIN News Canberra anchor Kerryn Johnson accidentally began the broadcast by saying: “Good evening. Tonight I’m going to sound like a drunk.”
Obviously, and needlessly, Johnson has expressed a fair amount of embarrassment about the whole thing.
WIN issued a statement after the incident that read:
“This is a newsreader who sets a very high standard for herself. To have it go to air when it was not intended to has been more than embarrassing for her. Kerryn has been presenting news for over two decades and has never put a foot wrong. I’m sure our viewers will understand.’
Have a listen:
Posted: 5th, September 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
David Walliams hates it when people ‘come out’
THIS bizarrely Christian bit of the world we live in has made it difficult for anyone not-straight to do as they please. Quite why anyone would be interested in someone’s genital interest is a quandary. Surely religious types shouldn’t worry themselves about it all, shouting ‘GOD HATES FAGS’ and threatening people with damnation – surely, if God exists, he’ll sort it out when they die or hit sinner with a plague or something?
One sticky area (don’t be so dirty) is coming out. People worry that their parents will disown them, react badly or worse still, act all groovy and say something irritatingly twee about the Kinsey Scale.
And so, with that, David Walliams has decided to throw his oar in.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Weirdos vote egg mayo as Britain’s best sandwich
SOME preposterous berks have, according to a survey, voted egg mayonnaise as Britain’s best sandwich, despite the fact that there are millions of better options.
These people are like those sickos who choose ready salted over better crisps.
Conducted by PromotionalCodes.org.uk, the poll gave voters a list of ten potential fillings to choose from and were asked to state which they liked best.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comments (7)
Australia’s Sarah Palin steps down after saying ‘Islam’ is a country
ONE thing you can say about a lot of xenophobes is that they tend to be quite stupid. One Australian election candidate lived up to that notion, saying on TV that she thought Islam is a country.
Unsurprisingly, she’s stepped down.
Stephanie Banister – Australia’s answer to Sarah Palin – was rightly hooted at with derision after she made a huge boob of herself on television. While discussing her views on immigration, not only did she think Islam was a country, but she also confused the Arabic term ‘haram’ (which means ‘forbidden’) with the Qur’an and proudly stated that Jews followed Jesus.
“I don’t oppose Islam as a country but I do feel that their laws should not be welcome here in Australia,” Banister said. “Less than 2% of Australians follow haram. Jews aren’t under haram. They have their own religion which follows Jesus Christ.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Politicians | Comment
Chris Fountain sacked by Corrie after this ‘rape rap’
OVER in Yorkshire, there’s a fall-down funny group of rappers called SY Cypher. They freestyle in a self deprecating manner, often threatening to shoot each other with guns they clearly don’t have. Their videos have been hilarious and canny, but alas, no more.
The group had to make all their videos private after they got much more attention than they bargained for, after Coronation Street/Hollyoaks alumni Chris Fountain decided to get in on the act. Appearing masked as ‘The Phantom’, Fountain did a lousy rap with a heap of crass jokes, which regrettably included something about rape.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Newsreader interrupted live on-air by her own child
CHILDREN are idiots aren’t they? Especially your own. And one Moroccan newsreader found that out when her daughter interrupted her at work while she was live on telly.
Lena Alwash’s live broadcast on Morocco’s Medi 1 TV channel is interrupted when her daughter randomly appears behind her to hand her a mobile.
Upon realising her mum might actually be working and addressing viewers, rather than just blankly talking to the ether in a stern voice, the child realises how dim she is and tries to duck out of shot.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
50 Cents mocks domestic abuse charges
SEXISM, bigotry, sexual assaults and other horrible things have been a hot topic over the last week or so, with notable Twitter users going on a 24 hour strike for womankind. The news picked it up, people argued and debated… and all the while, missed the story where 50 Cent was accused of domestic abuse.
Fiddy was charged with one count of misdemeanor domestic violence and four counts of misdemeanor vandalism, but he couldn’t give a toot, mocking the whole thing on Twitter and Instagram.
Here, he showed a photo of him shooting some hoops while he was supposed to be in prison.
According to police reports, 50 Cent kicked the mother of his children, and then vandalized her property (apparently, he smashed chandeliers, beat up a TV and a ransacked wardrobe) which, if guilty, sees the rapper going to prison for five years and $46,000 in fines.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
