Turkey Bans 138 Words From The Internet: Teen Forbidden

TURKEY has banned 138 words from Internet domain names. The Telecommunications Directorate has created problems for many sites. For example, sanaldestekunitesi.com (virtualsupportunit.com) contains the world “anal”, which is forbidden.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Taking Photos With iPad2 Makes You Look This Tragic

ARE you winning with your new ipad 2, that ergonomic gadget that’s killing American jobs with its success? Have you been taking photos with it? Want to know how cool you look doing so? You don’t. You look as cool as a holidaymaker dressed in massive check shorts, a location vest and trying with a wasabi enema inserted between the folds:

President Barack Obama greets people following his remarks at the National Action Network's Keepers of the Dream awards gala at the Sheraton New York Hotel in New York, New York, April 6, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

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Filmmaker Spike Lee uses his iPad to photograph President Barack Obama as he greets guests at the National Action Network's Keepers of the Dream awards gala in New York, N.Y., April 6, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, April 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Is Virus Software The World’s Computer Shop Name Ever?

IS VIRUS SOFTWARE the world’s worst name for a computer shop selling…software?

Anorak

Posted: 24th, April 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

The Sperm Bike Makes Your Testicles Look Dated

THE spermbike is the greener way to transport human sperm. Your testicles, dear carbon breather, are old hat.

The sperm bike – the Sperm Bullit – is the preferred way of transporting deposits made at Copenhagen’s Nordisk Cryobank (European Sperm Bank).

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Police Are Stealing Phone Data

THE Cellebrite UFED Physical Pro is a machine that allows the Michigan State Police (the force has five such devices) to “extract deleted mobile device data, user passwords, file system dumps, and physical extraction from GPS devices”.

In short, the police can rip off your private stuff at the flick of  a switch.  The American Civil Liberties Union of Michigan has used a freedom of information request to find out how, when and why these devices have been used.

MSP claimed that the cost of retrieving and assembling the documents that disclose how five of the devices are being used is $544,680. The ACLU was then asked to pay a $272,340 deposit before the organization could receive a single document.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Jesse Jackson Jr Reveals How The iPad Is Killing Jobs: Beyond Parody

JESSE Jackson Jr says the iPad is killing American jobs.

In other news, Jackson Jr says motor cars will destroy the horse and buggy industry and warns that Gutenberg is going to make scribes and other Bible-writing monks redundant…

Anorak

Posted: 18th, April 2011 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

Spotify Puts The Squeeze On Its Free Users

If you like music chances are you are all over Spotify. The brilliant service enables you to stream, well practically any album of worth that has been released in the last fifty years. However if you are using the free version of the service (the paid for one has no ads interrupting the music and you can listen to the music on mobile phones too) your listening is about to curtailed.

Anorak

Posted: 14th, April 2011 | In: Technology | Comments (3)

City Boy Harry Fildes’ Emails About Ex Lover Jenni Palmer Go Viral

MEET Harry Fildes, formerly of Shrewsbury public school and now residing in Fulham. Fildes is the captain of the Old Salopian Football Club first XI who says it’s OK for his teammate, one Sebastian Marsh, to date his ex-girlfriend, one Jenni Palmer – the woman he still lives with.

Fildes works at GL Hearn. And it is from his work email that he sent his good luck message. Only, he also sent it by mistake to Miss Palmer. And now everyone has seen it.

Says Fildes in another email:

“I am in so much shit it’s unreal.”

The emails go like this – and if you like the mishaps of Bertie Wooster, you will enjoy Marsh. Fildes is far less gallant. The tone of the Marsh missives is jovial and rather sweet, actually:

6:00AM BST 30 Mar 2011
From: Sebastian Marsh
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:17
To: Harry Fildes
Subject: Footy this weekend

Morning, I have tried Lewis but he

seems to be out of the office … do you have any idea what time our game might be on the weekend? If it is a late kick off I might have a bit of a problem … Hope all else is well. Bumped into your ex girlfriend / housemate the other weekend … she is a looker to say the least! Seb

From: Harry Fildes
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:18
To: Sebastian Marsh
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Saunds and Sam are working on it. Small chance that there might not be a game.

Who did you bump into? Jenni Palmer?

From: Sebastian Marsh
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:23
To: Harry Fildes
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Oh ok … well that might determine what I do on Friday night then!

Yeah I met her in the Hurlingham pub … she was with Sam and another girl. Had a brief chat to her and later made an enquiry about her to Sam (obviously as she is hot), he said she was your ex and that you wouldn’t care in the least if I had a go but [edited out]!? How accurate would you say that is!? Just to let you know I haven’t and I won’t even think about it if you have any sort of problem with me persuing … not my style to step on a mates toes for the sake of a girl!

Just thought I would check with you …

From: Harry Fildes
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:28
To: Sebastian Marsh
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Will keep you posted on footie front.
Yeah, very accurate. Wouldn’t care in the slightest. To be honest she is ******* ****, I don’t dislike many people but she is one. She massively messed me around [edited out]! Feel free to pursue, yes, she is HOT!

From: Sebastian Marsh
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:31
To: Harry Fildes
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Oh she sounds brilliant … just the sort of thing I am looking for in the summer months. My defenses are up and I am up for the challenge…. Have you got an email address!? I won’t tell her you gave it to me!

From: Harry Fildes
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:33
To: Sebastian Marsh
Cc: Jenni Palmer
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Feel free by all means just don’t say I gave you her email!
*************@hotmail.com
Good Luck – you’ll need it!

From: Harry Fildes
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:33
To: Sebastian Marsh
Subject: FW: Footy this weekend

fuck – I ccD her in!

From: Sebastian Marsh
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:35
To: Harry Fildes
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Oh my god!!! You muppet … no point now!
You are going to be in serious trouble me thinks!

From: Harry Fildes
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:36
To: Sebastian Marsh
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Massive muppet. Sorry mate
I am in so much shit its un real!
Can you recall emails?!

From: Sebastian Marsh
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:40
To: Harry Fildes
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Haha I don’t think so mate! I am getting some funny looks as I can’t control my laughter! It is done now, nothing you can do but wait for the phone call … are you still living with her!?
Can you keep me posted on how this pans out as it is going to make a great story in the pub when it is over!
p.s. Might still have a crack … nothing to lose!

From: Harry Fildes
Sent: 23 March 2011 10:44
To: Sebastian Marsh
Subject: RE: Footy this weekend

Yeah, I still live with her and that’s why I’m in so so so much trouble, we didn’t get on before so this will be the final nail in the coffin. ****!!!!!!
I sent her a follow up email saying I don’t really think she is a **** – just trying to put you off her! Not very convincing. **** ****
You might as well have a crack – certainly nothing to lose! ****!

From: Sebastian Marsh
Sent: 23 March 2011 14:18
To: ****************************************************
Subject: FW: Footy this weekend

If you have 2 mins to spare read from the bottom … Quite a few people have already really enjoyed this! p.s Excuse the language!

Mr Marsh has been suspended by Miller Insurance

Anorak

Posted: 30th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comments (2)

Nuclear Powered Ship Rescues Ships In Frozen Gulf Of Finland

AFTER Fukushima, we bring more news of the wonder of nuclear power. Russian nuclear icebreaker Vaygach is clearing 94 vessels trapped by ice in the Gulf of Finland. The entire Gulf is iced over in a severe bout of global warming.

Says Captain Aleksandr Skrjabin:

“Last night we assisted two tankers into the Port of Primorsk. Now we have received an order to assist two large, 100,000-ton oil tankers.”

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

Justin Bieber Explains The Perils Of The Internet: Photo

JUSTIN Bieber will now explain the perils of the internet…
Chatroulette: Busty Babe Gets A Reaction

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Japan’s Media Apocalypse: Dr Peter Heller Makes An Urgent Appeal For Science

JAPAN’S Media Apocalypse:  Dr Peter Heller reacts to the media hype and scaremongers on Fukushima.

Dr Peter Heller is an Astronomer, Physicist. He is not a journalist nor a singer.

This is a translation from the original German.

THERE’S no place on earth I would rather be right now than at Fukushima – right in the atomic power plant, at the centre of the event. I say this because I am a physicist and there is no other place that could be more exciting and interesting for a physicist. The same goes for many, if not most physicists and engineers, on the planet.

Already at a young age I knew one day I would study physics. As a boy, I received a telescope for Christmas, and from that point on my view was fixed on the night sky; gazing at star clusters, nebula and galaxies was my favourite preoccupation. It was only later that I learned that these lights and the twinkling in eyepiece were actually the expressions of a chaotic and violent force of nature – the direct conversion of matter into energy during the fusion of an atomic nucleus.

Anorak

Posted: 21st, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

Iran Launches Monkey Doll Into Space: Keith Harris Delighted (Ahmadinejad Missing)

IRAN has launched Mahmoud Ahmadinejad into space. Or have they?

Iran has conducted another experiment in its race to reach space, launching a rocket that bears a capsule that can contain an animal into the atmosphere Tuesday, the official Iranian news agency IRNA reported. The Islamic republic plans to send a manned spaceship into space by 2022; in this experiment they made do with launching only a monkey doll.

Keith Harris must be proud…

Anorak

Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

Japan’s Nuclear Reactor Joins Twitter: Tepco Armageddon Will Be Live

TEPCO, the Japanese owner of a nuclear reactor is now on Twitter. So far: (Everything is better with Google translate):

TEPCO official account. Today is quite a lot of demand forelectricity could somehow overcome With your help everyone.Thank you. Thank you from tomorrow. Click here for rolling blackouts.

Anorak

Posted: 17th, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Japan Earthquake: Millions Saved By Good Engineering And Technology

JAPAN Earthquake news headlines focus on the doom. But what about the wonder of humanity that created buildings able to withstand a tsunami? What about that, warmists? What about thinking how much worse it would have been without human ingenuity?

As Dave Ewing Tweets:

“The headline you won’t see: ‘Millions saved in Japan by good engineering and government building codes’. But it’s the truth.”

japan-quake-time-map

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Anorak

Posted: 14th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comments (3)

Bing Sees Japan Earthquake As Marketing Opportunity: Doesn’t Everyone?

THINK not what you can do for Japan but what Japan can do for your brand, in this case Bing, the microsoft search engine.

The Bing tweet pledges:

“How you can#SupportJapan -For every retweet, bing will give $1 to Japan quake victims, up to $100K.”

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Wii Spanking Swingers Game Pulled: Video

WE DARE is the Wii game for swingers. It’s been pulled (fnar).

Reader Percy writes:

Who dares wins – except if you happen to be British…

“We Dare”…the saucy video game that helps bring friends & neighbours together in a naughty but nice way ..has been pulled in U.K. for being a bit too risque..

Anorak

Posted: 12th, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

1million Volts Fired Into Man In Newcastle: Photos

US based Art Attack perform for the first time in the UK at the Discovery Museum, Newcastle, as they launch the Newcastle Science Fest 2011, with 1million volts been fired into a metal chain suit worn by Patrick Brown. Or Patrick Blackened, as he is now known…

Anorak

Posted: 11th, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

The Elfoid Mobile Phone Love Aide Was Invented By A Man: Why?

THE Elfoid mobile phone is the creepiest must-have miniature version of the Telenoid R1 robot you need. It’s the work or the Osaka University, glows green when in use, is covered in urethane skin, has buttons in the chest, features a camera and best of records movements in the user’s face and transmits them as movements in another Elfoid phone in “real-time”.

Anorak

Posted: 7th, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Wear Pollinator Frocks To Attract Wasps And Butterflies

GOOD news for ant petters and wasp ranchers is that  Swansea Metropolitan University boffin Dr Karen Ingham has created Pollinator Frocks.

For a  fee, you can wear a top or dress decorated in a floral print that has been coated with an iridescent sheen to attract bugs. And that is not all.  The fabric contains “substances imitating nectars”, sugars like sucrose and fructose.

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, March 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

James Corbett’s Steampunk Car Sculptures: Gallery

JAMES Corbett makes sculptures from old and vintage  car parts. There is something of the streampunk about them.

As he says:

“I was working in a warehouse of scrap, and a guy I know that races stock cars, showed me a trophy winner made of levers. I looked at it and I thought that I could do a much better job, so I started making my own sculptures… After a period of time, people became more and more into what I was doing, and now what I do with my life is a dream come to reality.”

Anorak

Posted: 28th, February 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Blackburn Teen’s ‘Death’ Was Hoax: Thousands Of Mourners Duped On Facebook

RIP Jaydon Rothwell. The Facebook page has been created to his loving memory. People who knew him, or those who like to wallow in mourn porn and add their name ot any list, have paid tribute. Over 2000 people have joined the group and paid their respects.

He was a lovely lad. He will be missed. He was victim of Broken Britain:

One local funeral director said he had been told a 16-year-old had died, possibly after being stabbed… One shop worker said a teenager had drunk himself to death while others had simply heard that a 16-year-old had killed himself.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment (1)

Terry Garrett Plays Video Games Very Well: He’s Blind

TERRY Garrett is a blind 23 year old mechanical engineering student from Colorado Springs  who plays video games. He can play Abe’s Exoddus. and win.

Enjoy the interview:

Anorak

Posted: 28th, February 2011 | In: Technology | Comment

Anonymous V Westboro Baptist Church: An Intolerant Smack Down

ANONYMOUS are at odds with the folks at Westboro Baptist Church. The hacking collective says it will shut down the church’s website unless it stops its public protests. The Church is laughable. But is the story real? Both sides are not averse to a spot of PR. Is “Intolerance Must Not Be Tolerated” a fitting message for Anonymous which champions transparency and freedom of information?

A verbose message on the Anonymous site says:

Your demonstrations and your unrelenting cascade of disparaging slurs, unfounded judgments, and prejudicial innuendos, which apparently apply to every individual numbered amongst the race of Man – except for yourselves – has frequently crossed the line which separates Freedom of Speech from deliberately utilizing the same tactics and methods of intimidation and mental & emotional abuse that have been previously exploited and employed by tyrants and dictators, fascists and terrorist organizations throughout history.

ANONYMOUS cannot abide this behavior any longer. The time for us to be idle spectators in your inhumane treatment of fellow Man has reached its apex, and we shall now be moved to action. Thus, we give you a warning: Cease & desist your protest campaign in the year 2011, return to your homes in Kansas, & close your public Web sites.

Should you ignore this warning, you will meet with the vicious retaliatory arm of ANONYMOUS: We will target your public Websites, and the propaganda & detestable doctrine that you promote will be eradicated; the damage incurred will be irreversible, and neither your institution nor your congregation will ever be able to fully recover. It is in your best interest to comply now, while the option to do so is still being offered, because we will not relent until you cease the conduction & promotion of all your bigoted operations & doctrines.

The warning has been given. What happens from here shall be determined by you.

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comments (3)

Evan Emory Charged With Child Abuse For YouTube Sex Song

WHEN 21-year-old Evan Emory sang a bawdy song and edited in video of little kids nodding along he thought he’d produced a viral hit. He loaded it onto YouTube and hoped that he’d get noticed. And he was. Now he’s accused of manufacturing “child sexually abusive material”. He’s in court.

Emory had filmed the kiddies on a visit to a first grade classroom in Ravenna, Michigan. He sang a clean wholesome tune called the Lunch Lady Song.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, February 2011 | In: Technology | Comments (6)

The i’s list of the UK’s top tweeters; Sarah Brown, Richard Bacon and a midfield schemer

Everyone loves Twitter right? How else do you get your news other than piped at you from all the media feeds you follow and your obliging friends who retweet them? If you are on Twitter you probably follow a celeb or two, and why not, Katie Price’s cereal choice always fascinates me.

Anyhow newspaper i, working with a company called Peerindex that has developed a way of working out how influential people are in social media, have just named the UK’s top 100 tweeters. And Katie Price isn’t number one. That accolade goes to Sarah Brown, wife of ex PM Gordon, who has well over a million followers. In second place is BBC Five Live’s Richard Bacon who has always used Twitter to interact with listeners on his radio programmes.

Other slebs in the top ten include Eddie Izzard, Stephen Fry and Fearne Cotton.

The one to watch though is Arsenal’s junior midfield general Jack Wilshere, who makes the list at 93, four below Katie Price, but if he can keep tweeting his fascinating views on life at Emirates will be top ten next year.

The full list is here. Info about Peerindex (if you want to find out how influential you are on Twitter) is here.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, February 2011 | In: Technology | Comment