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The Consumer

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Punctuation in novels: words stripped from books leaving only the punctuation

Punctuation in Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy (left) and in Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner (right).

Punctuation in Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy (left) and in Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner (right).

 

Adam J Calhoun stripped two books of words:

Inspired by a series of posters, I wondered what did my favorite books look like without words. Can you tell them apart or are they all a-mush? In fact, they can be quite distinct. Take my all-time favorite book, Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner. It is dense prose stuffed with parentheticals. When placed next to a novel with more simplified prose — Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy — it is a stark difference (see above).

The beauty of good punctuation.

Posted: 17th, February 2016 | In: Books | Comment


Cancel your subscription to Harper’s magazine and receive this desperate letter

When Adrienne LaFrance cancelled her subscription to Harper’s magazine she received a letter – a begging letter. Read it and weep (with annotations by Adrienne):

 

Cancel your subscription to Harper’s magazine and receive this desperate letter

 

harper letter

 

Posted: 15th, February 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


The Top 5 comments ‘Overheard In Waitrose’

overheard in waitrose

 

On Facebook people are sharing things Overheard In Waitrose. And it’s great. Here are five crackers:

“I can’t find anything here, we should have really gone to Selfridges” – Overheard in Waitrose Marylebone

Two people having a heated argument at the front of local store. -One said ‘I know I am right, I’m a solicitor’ .To which the second calmly said ‘So am I’

Overheard in Waitrose Twickenham… “Lysander put the papaya down!”

“I suppose we could have a coffee. I’ve just spoken to Susan and she’s still doing the ironing and there’s nothing worse than being in your own house when the cleaner is still there.”

“Jemima, you’ll have to take the Rosemary off the Focaccia before we feed the ducks, Darling…. They can’t digest it!”

Posted: 10th, February 2016 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Then ultimate bath tub in a canal house in Amsterdam

A canal house in Amsterdam by Witteveen Architects. A canal house in Amsterdam by Witteveen Architects.

 

Spotter

Posted: 9th, February 2016 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment


Bernie Sanders is now an ice cream flavour

bernie's yearning ice cream 

What does a 74-year-old politician taste of? Given the usual sexual kinks of the great and learned, we’d say hot wax, orange rind and dry-cleaning. But Ben Cohen (co-founder and half the namesake of Ben & Jerry’s) says Bernie Sanders tastes of mint ice cream with a milk chocolate disc on the top.

“The chocolate disc represents the huge majority of economic gains that have gone to the top 1% since the end of the recession,” the carton to Bernie’s Yearning reads. “Beneath it, the rest of us.”

Use by November 8 2016.

Spotter: Politico

 

Posted: 26th, January 2016 | In: Politicians, The Consumer | Comment


Aldi: ‘Our ham contains 110% pork’

Aldi ham 110%

 

This packet of Aldi British ham contains an impressive “110% pork”. That stuffs got more pig in it than pregnant sow.

Della Farzads says: “I checked the label because I don’t eat meat, and I wondered how much was in it. When I saw it I burst out laughing, even though I was on my own.”

You don’t have to be mad to shop at Aldi but…

Spoter: Metro

Posted: 25th, January 2016 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Good news: woman finds traces of real chicken parts in her KFC

To Wellingborough, U.K., where amidst the fat, cardboard, grease and batter, Cassandra Perkins, 22, has found something exciting and newsworthy in her KFC dinner

“It looked disgusting and pink, I didn’t want to touch it,” she tells the Northampton Chronicle. “I first thought that it may have been brain or lung, it certainly wasn’t chicken. My burger had a hair in it as well.”

Beef? Fish? Tortoise? No. It was chicken. As KFC explains:

“Sometimes mistakes can happen and unfortunately on rare occasions, giblets are not removed when they should have been. We have reminded our team members to take extra care in future, and if a customer is ever unhappy with their food we encourage them to let our team know, who will always be happy to help.”

Who knew there was actual chicken in a KFC meal?

chicken lung KFC

 

In other news: nuggets grow on trees.

Posted: 24th, January 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Icleand is putting ‘Coloured Cheddar’ cheese’ in security boxes to deter bandits

cheese iceland security

 

Do you love cheese? How much? Iceland have taken to securing cheese inside plastic boxes. This is not done to keep the cheese fresh, rather to prevent shoplifting.

In other news: is ‘Coloured cheddar” racist?

Spotter: @PLinotype

Posted: 18th, January 2016 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Remeber when Ryanair staff drew a massive snow penis around aircraft at Dublin airport

In February 2015 Ryan Air staff marked the arrival of snow by drawing a giant snow penis by a company plane parked at Dublin airport.

 

ryan air penis

 

The owner is away.

 

Posted: 17th, January 2016 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Stuffed and mounted: hunting for prostitutes business attacked by animal rights protestors

sex antlersTo Austria, where hunters are guaranteed a “happy ending”on return to camp. A business has been offering hunters in the Neustift-Innermanzing municipality lots of killing in Lower Austria’s Alpine foothills followed by an evening of human skin. The advert trills:

“After an exciting day’s hunting what could be better than a cosy night for two, or even three, in a remote mountain cabin. Everything is possible. The hunter’s return will be welcomed back by a lovely companion, and of course absolute discretion and confidentiality are guaranteed.”

The country’s Association Against Animal Factories (VGT) is aghast:

“It is hunting with prostitutes. It seems that with money anything is possible,” says VGT boss Martin Balluch.

The hunting company has now removed the offer. Although hunters are free to go and **** themselves.

Posted: 15th, January 2016 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


In North London you can buy a painted log for £10

In Muswell Hill, North London, an interiors shop is selling logs with coloured paint on for £10 a pop.

 

I shit you not, a Muswell Hill interiors shop are selling logs with coloured paint on for £10 a pop.Bargain.

 

Posted: 14th, January 2016 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Tyrrells ‘swanky veg’ flavour is for ‘wanky’ crisps munchers

Have you tried Tyrells’ ‘swanky veg’ crisps, “an exotic mélange of lavish veggies, with just a pinch of sea salt to let them sing”.

tyrells ‘swanky veg’ crisps as “an exotic mélange of lavish veggies, with just a pinch of sea salt to let them sing”. Twitter noticed something much less exotic about them.

 

It’s just truth in advertising. All their crisps sound a bit ‘wanky’:

 

 

tyrrells wanky

 

Wanky veg and wanky salted a la mode.

 

Posted: 10th, January 2016 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Mom makes epic etching fail: ‘friends are the rapists you can drink with’

A mom got a little crafty and decided to make her own wine glasses, complete with the pithy phrase, “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on them. What started as a fun experiment quickly turned unintentionally creepy. “My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explained redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.” With the correct spacing, they look a little more innocent. The handwritten font is still pretty creepy, though. But hey, it’s a fairly common mistake, at least according to various buffoons on TV. [h/t Tech Insider | Reddit]

 

Mom wanted to make a glass with the phrase “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on the side.

“My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explains redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.”

 

A mom got a little crafty and decided to make her own wine glasses, complete with the pithy phrase, “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on them. What started as a fun experiment quickly turned unintentionally creepy. “My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explained redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.” With the correct spacing, they look a little more innocent. The handwritten font is still pretty creepy, though. But hey, it’s a fairly common mistake, at least according to various buffoons on TV. [h/t Tech Insider | Reddit] A mom got a little crafty and decided to make her own wine glasses, complete with the pithy phrase, “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on them. What started as a fun experiment quickly turned unintentionally creepy. “My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explained redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.” With the correct spacing, they look a little more innocent. The handwritten font is still pretty creepy, though. But hey, it’s a fairly common mistake, at least according to various buffoons on TV. [h/t Tech Insider | Reddit]

 

Therapist. The rapist. There’s a B-movie in this.

Spotter: Tech Insider |

Posted: 19th, December 2015 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Buy the cat lady in your life seamless cat printed knickers

pussy pants

The perfect gift for the cat lady in your life crazy cat ladies in your life: cat panties.

 

pussy cat panties

 

Spotter: Stylebrity

 

Posted: 16th, December 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Chinese restaurant charges diners for breathing

canned air china

 

Anyone eating at a restaurant in smoggy Zhangjiagang city, Jiangsu Province, was charged one yuan (10p, $0.15) to cover the cost of breathing air fit for human consumption.

Diners complained to the local council. Why should they pay extra to breathe filtered air? A city official ruled that with no alternative offered, the eatery could not charge for its air.
Of course, anyone not keen on paying the tax can bring their own oxygen supply, or grab a takeaway and hope they made it back home alive to eat it.

Posted: 15th, December 2015 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Ready sliced chocolate for your sandwiches exists

You can buy cheese and meat shaped into thin, square slices to slap between two pieces of bread. Now you can buy sliced chocolate for your sarnie. Japanese company Bourbon is selling packets of five two-millimetre thick slices of  “nama chocolate”. Time to up your game, Nutella.

 

 

sliced chocolate sandwich

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Caffeine-Use Disorder is as real as your hallucinations

coffee men

 

Scare story of the day is found in the Daily Mail (natch.), wherein we learn of “caffeine-use disorder”.

Sophie Freeman asks:

But how do you know when your love of coffee has gone too far?

When you’re on a coffee drip? The answer is with boffins at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore and the American University in Washington D.C.

Despite being the “most widely used psychoactive drug in the world”, caffeine can make you jittery, anxious and tense. A cup of coffee is the Daily Mail in liquid form.

As for the study behind the news of a new disorder to be treated by a new kind of therapy, the researchers surveyed 67 people. The coffee drinker were put on a “caffeine-fading scheme”, seeing their consumption reduced. They were given a booklet to “use between counsellor sessions”.

They were then locked alone inside their mum’s stuffy downstairs toilet for five days and invited to work through their delusions, nightmares and back copies of Readers’ Digest magazine.

 

Posted: 2nd, December 2015 | In: Reviews, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment


Japanese department store offers one ‘F*CKIN’ SALE’

osaka fucking sale sign

To Osaka, where the Gallerie store is holding a “Fuckin’ Sale”.

Update: it’s been changed.

fucking sale japan

Spotter: Steven LevyJapan Subculture blog, Adrian Chen

Posted: 25th, November 2015 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comments (2)


Skydiver and cat jump sat in a fully furnished lounge

sky diver jump cat

 

In this advert professional skydiver Jeff Provenzano show us that so hip are Nvidia Shield tablet computers that anyone owning one can experience the thrill of skydiving with their cat by simply turning one on.

 

Spotter: Nerd Approved, Neatorama

Posted: 19th, November 2015 | In: Reviews, Technology, The Consumer | Comment


Quantico – thriller series with crime, suspense & drama

quantico-abc

Acclaimed US drama heading to UK screens

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, November 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Burn hole cardigan worn by Kurt Cobain on MTV-Unplugged sells for $140,800

cobain sweater

 

The deeply unfashionable cardigan wort by Kurt Cobain on MTV: Unplugged in 1993 has been bought at auction for $140,800. The seller was a “friend” of the Cobain family.

Four months after the show, Cobain committed suicide.

Julien’s “Icons and Idols: Rock N Roll” auction advertised it thus:

A blend of acrylic, mohair and Lycra with five-button closure (one button absent), with two exterior pockets, a burn hole and discoloration near left pocket and discoloration on right pocket.

 

Posted: 9th, November 2015 | In: Music, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Coffin company uses naked women calendar to seduce stiffs

coffin-models-640x400

 

To Poland, where coffin company Lindner is seducing stiffs to its product range with a calendar full of topless babes.

“We enjoy showing our beautiful coffins, and what better way than including beautiful girls?” says company owner Zbigniew Lindner. Before you shout ‘Got wood?’ he continues?
“We wanted to show that a coffin shouldn’t be a sacred object – it’s furniture, it’s the last bed you’ll ever sleep in. It isn’t a religious symbol. It’s a product.”
Sex sells. But the idea of a coffin as furniture is one that Linder should develop. Why not full the thing with aspic, cut away the sides and create novelty pole dancing podiums for the lounge, nursing home or cellar? Pour in dead uncle Bojan, roll him on his side, cut a hole and you’ve got somewhere for grandma to hang her fur coat.
Call the range Coffin Todgers.
And call us Linder, we have ideas.

 

Posted: 9th, November 2015 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Objects of desire: David Bowie mug-shot shower curtain

david bowie shower curtain

The David Bowie shower curtain.

Buy yours at Fine Art America

 

Posted: 4th, November 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment