The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
Man who placed brown pube in his curry to avoid paying jailed
LEE Tyers was recorded by a camera spicing his curry with his public hairs. Mr Tyers, 40, was dining in Jamals Indian Restaurant, Middlesbrough, when he commended a staff member’s attention to the pubes in what remained of his lamb bhuna.
One problem. As the eatery’s Jamal Chowdhury indicated, the pube was brown and all the staff had natural black hair. The collars and cuffs did not match. Mr Tyers left without setting the bill. Mr Chowdary showed police the CCTV footage.
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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment
Cheerios advert brings out the racists
BIZARRELY, in 2013, there are people who still define other humans by the colour of their skin. All white people are ruthless and can’t dance, all black people are criminals, all yellow people are karate experts and all brown people want to blow up planes. Apart from the white people who are poor and live in Russia, the black people who are pillars of society, the yellow people who would like to point out they’re not actually yellow and the brown people who are generally lumped together because they don’t fit in the other categories.
And everyone forgot about the Native and South Americans.
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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment
Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat
Karl Largefeld cat
FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.
The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for letting ridiculous things fall out of his anus-shaped mouth, but bestiality might top the rest.
“I never thought I would fall in love like this with a cat,” Lagerfeld said.
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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment
Is Asda selling carrots to Welsh Morons?
NO! Asda is not calling its customers morons. ‘Moron’ is the Welsh word for carrots.
Spotter: Robert Mills
Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
French designer creates hipster statues
FRENCH designer Alexis Persani has dressed statues as hipsters. I see your shop window mannequin and raise you a marble God:
The creepiest TV adverts of all time
SCARY, creepy adverts stick in the mind. This means they must be working.
Chuck in children and the fear factor is cranked up:
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Posted: 5th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment
Face tattoos – the big collection of regretful ink
SO. You saw someone with a face tattoo and thought they looked great. Hey, if Ryan Gosling, the swooniest Hollywood star has one, why not you?
Gosling got his face decorated with a dagger dripping blood. He felt it would help him get into character for a film part. He then reviewed his decision:
“I felt a lot of shame for having gone too far and for making a decision that was careless… I was so ashamed that that shame lived with me on set, as I had to wear that stuff around.”
Still want one? We’ve combed the web for examples of face tattoos.
tattoo
Posted: 5th, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment
1974 T-shirt slogans: ‘I Dreamt I was Raped by Mick Jagger in my David Bowie T-shirt’
In 1974, Lonely Ladies T-shirts presented “I Dreamt I was Raped by Mick Jagger in my David Bowie T-shirt”. Why was The Rolling Stones frontman wearing his alleged victim’s David Bowie T-shirt? And lest you think this was perverted, the San Francisco outfit let prospective rape victims know that their dream rapist could also be dressed as Elvis, Judy Garland or Boby Dylan…
Posted: 1st, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion, Flashback | Comment
Artist turns CCTV images into paintings
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Posted: 1st, June 2013 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment
Extracts from Joanna Rohrback’s Prancercise (with inner horse video)
IN 1989, we, like you, were getting fit with Joanna Rohrback’s Prancercise. As she says:
This video shows the 4 modes of Prancercise.You can visit me at www.prancercise.com where you can learn more about Prancercise: “A springy,rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse’s gait and is ideally induced by elation.” copyright 1989, taken from my book Prancercise:The Art of Physical and Spiritual Excellence, now available to the public for the first time!
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Posted: 31st, May 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Royal College of Art graduate fashion show 2013 (photos)
GOOD news! Nice Yiddisher boys with braces are on trend at the Royal College of Art graduate fashion show, London.
A model wears designs by Lucie Vincini.
Porcupine faces by Maiko Takeda
The worst condom adverts of 2013
CONDOMS. How you advertise them? They can be musical, spiritual, robotic, refreshing, fashionable, seasonal, toothy, oily and tasteless. Here are a few recent ideas:
Burning sex. Who doesn’t like that?
Women don’t like sex.They only do it for money to go shopping. Not insulting at all.
Your lover doesn’t turn you on so you have to maintain interest by thinking about traffic and bad paintings of Jesus.
She keeps trying to get away but there’s no escaping that gigantic knob.
Is that her mother?
Putting the board in bored.
Ouch!
Has she just seen his genital warts? Or is it yet another advert degrading women?
Spotter: Copyranter
Posted: 29th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The JC Penny Hitler kettle
The JC Penny Hitler kettle. It’s tea-total war*:
* Order now and get a free Eva BRAUN toaster!
Posted: 28th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Oscar Wilde explains his comment that ‘All art is quite useless’
IN 1890, Bernulf Clegg wrote asked Oscar Wilde to expand on a line in his preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray: “All art is quite useless.” Wilde replied:
16, TITE STREET,
CHELSEA. S.W.My dear Sir
Art is useless because its aim is simply to create a mood. It is not meant to instruct, or to influence action in any way. It is superbly sterile, and the note of its pleasure is sterility. If the contemplation of a work of art is followed by activity of any kind, the work is either of a very second-rate order, or the spectator has failed to realise the complete artistic impression.
A work of art is useless as a flower is useless. A flower blossoms for its own joy. We gain a moment of joy by looking at it. That is all that is to be said about our relations to flowers. Of course man may sell the flower, and so make it useful to him, but this has nothing to do with the flower. It is not part of its essence. It is accidental. It is a misuse. All this is I fear very obscure. But the subject is a long one.
Truly yours,
Oscar Wilde
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Posted: 28th, May 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities, Flashback | Comment (1)
The creepy Mattel Roller Skating Doll returns from the 1980s
THE Mattel Roller Skating Doll was creepy:
Posted: 26th, May 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment
James Dean returns from the dead to flog banking in this advert
WHAT if James Dean had lived? Allan Gray Investment bired King James agency to chew over that quesiton.
Allan Gray is a South African investment management company.
Our purpose is to help our investors build wealth over the long term and we seek to earn the trust of our clients by providing superior long-term investment performance, outstanding client service and holding ourselves to the highest ethical standards.
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Posted: 21st, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Money, The Consumer | Comment
1970s: Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks and “FREE DR Who Badges!”
FLASHBACK to the breakfasts of yestedday with Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks and “FREE DR Who Badges!” John Pertwee played the BBC time traveller between 1970 and 1974. He drove a jalopy called Bessie.
UNIT was the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. The Brigadier was its stalwart. Jo Grant was a junior civilian operative for UNIT. The Master was the enemy, naturally.
Posted: 18th, May 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment
Pigeons deliver KFC in Gaza
THE New York Times has news from Gaza:
The French fries arrive soggy, the chicken having long since lost its crunch. A 12-piece bucket goes for about $27 here — more than twice the $11.50 it costs just across the border in Egypt.
And for fast-food delivery, it is anything but fast: it took more than four hours for the KFC meals to arrive here on a recent afternoon from the franchise where they were cooked in El Arish, Egypt, a journey that involved two taxis, an international border, a smuggling tunnel and a young entrepreneur coordinating it all from a small shop here called Yamama — Arabic for pigeon.
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Posted: 18th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Behold! The Irishman stuck in a baby seat in McDonald’s!
THE Irish are an unfairly maligned people, often jibed at for being a country of dimwits. However, like all national stereotypes, there’s always one berk on-hand to live up to it.
And so, we go to a McDonald’s in Cork (bring back the Oriental McRib, please) where a man managed to get himself stuck in a baby seat like a big buffoon.
Of course, the Gardai had to be called out and here’s the picture evidence.
“McDonald’s is aware of the incident involving a customer who decided to sit in one of our children’s high-chairs in Winthrop Street,” said a representative from McDonald’s.
“And as you can see, we recommend that children don’t use the high-chair without adult supervision!”
The man fulfilled another Irish stereotype while he was at it: He was reportedly drunk at the time.
Posted: 16th, May 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Poptastic: extracts from Tony Blackburn’s fantastic autobiography
EXTRACTS from Poptastic! My Life in Radio, by Tony Blackburn, as selected by Eamonn Forde. It turns there is more to Tony than admiration for Neil Sedaka and pressed trousers. Here’s what Tony didn’t cover in his first autobiography, 1985’s Tony Blackburn: The Living Legend.
First few facts about Tony for our overseas and younger readers:
Blackburn’s was the first voice heard on Radio One in 1967. In his album Tony Blackburn Sings, he crooned a version of The White Cliffs of Dover. The rest of career saw him become remarkably uncool.
Now for the extracts. Nice!
Says Tony:
“I’d say that seeing Bobby Vee perform was far more enjoyable than watching The Beatles in their prime. I was never big on Elvis – I prefer Perry Como – and I’ll take Alvin Stardust over David Bowie any day.”
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Posted: 16th, May 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Terrible taxidermy: two Squirrels having sex on a log
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Posted: 15th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
eBay item of the day: the Concorde disaster in pastels
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Posted: 14th, May 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)
