The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
1979: The lunatic Schlitz malt liquor advert
IN 1979, consumers were turned onto the flavours of Schlitz Malt Liquor with a group of Afro-American space voyagers, their pet jive-bot and a massive rampaging bull. Good to know that in the future, all space pioneers will drinking malted booze:
Posted: 10th, April 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment
Man buying two poodles takes home ferrets on steroids
TO Argentina, where the dog lover has discovered that the two poodles he bought are actually fluffed-up ferrets on steroids. He only discovered the truth when he took them to the vets for their vaccinations. It turned out that steroids had been used to make the ferrets grow and lots of combing had fashioned them to look like pedigree poodles.
An investigation revealed that a woman looking for a chihuahua had also bought a ferret.
Posted: 9th, April 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Taking the Daily Express’ health reporting with a large pinch of salt
WHAT is the cure for High blood pressure. On April 4, 2013, the Daily Express led with “CURE FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE”. The paper had “five easy steps can keep the kill condition”.
Keeping active, slashing salt intake, eating a healthy diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables, cutting down on alcohol and not smoking all cut the chances of developing the deadly condition.
Salt intake. But Joe Willey had already told readers on July 6, 2011:
Salt is safe to eat – and cutting our daily intake does nothing to lower the risk of suffering from heart disease
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Posted: 8th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
United Airline v Deborah Renwick: Making black women conform or else in 1969
IN 1969, air hostess Deborah Renwick was sacked for refusing to “shorten her hair”. But her hair wasn’t long. Renwick said her her hair was shorter than many white flight steward’s’ hair. Renwick believed that it wasn’t the length that mattered to her employers, it was the natural curl. After legal wrangling, United paid her $5,000, “endors[ed] the Afro hairstyle” and offered her her job back. She declined.
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Posted: 8th, April 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment
Man attempts hot shave by heating up can on stove – what could go wrong?
IN search of the perfect shave, the gentleman’s bathroom cabinet has become an arsenal of weapons-grade blades. Two blades, three blades, four blades and more are smeared in ointments to turn your shave into a Cupid-fingered massage. One man in Largo, Florida, wanted to up the ante. He wanted to hot shave. So. He placed the can of shaving cream on the stove, turned up the heat and waited. Soon his shaving gels would be hot enough to smear over his beard.
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Posted: 6th, April 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)
666-metres-long fire-breathing dragon bridge opens in Vietnam
LANDMARKS can be pretty much anything. New York has the Statue of Liberty. London has Big Ben. Australia has big prawns. And Berkshire had ‘Matt The Talc’, who used to sit outside Spackman’s of Newbury. Every thrusting new town and city needs a symbol of its greatness. So, the burgers of Da Nang, Vietnam, are delighted to show off the fire-breathing, water-spitting dragon over the Han River that opened for traffic last week.
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Posted: 6th, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Mum assures that her daughter is forever associated with Camel Balls
SO outraged was Charlene McKenzie, 26, that her seven-year-old daughter, Ruby, was offered a packet of Camel Balls bubble gum that she agreed to appear in the papers holding up the offending stuff.“I was disgusted as I think that it’s totally inappropriate. I am more upset with the company that makes the gum than the shops that sell it. It’s OK for adults and a bit of a laugh, but I can’t see the funny side when they are kept in the sweet section of shops where children like Ruby will see them.”
Posted: 3rd, April 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Soft Paris lingerie aims to destroy British feminism and crap on your lawn
SOFT Paris is a French knickers and undies company (that’s lingerie – ed) aiming to teach the clueless, potato-sack-clad British woman how to dress for sex. To promote the brand, the company has issued its 10 steps to seduction. Most British men would be happy with availability and warmth. But we can all be more. Says Soft Paris:
Why do English women hunch over, either shuffling or stomping? This is not seductive. Take the time to look around you, proudly, chin up/shoulders back, walking with one foot almost in front of the other, to undulate your hips provocatively.
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The 19 greatest Christian gifts
YESTERDAY’S news of religious Easter eggs piqued our appetite for further Christian gifts with which to enhance our enjoyment of the holiday.
Here are just some of the myriad delights we discovered.
‘Inspired by scripture’
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Posted: 1st, April 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
The Iron Throne Lifesize Replica: yours for $30,000
ITEM of the day: the Game of Thrones ‘The Iron Throne Lifesize Replica’:
Heavy is the head that wears the crown. And royal is the rear that sits the Iron Throne. The notoriously intimidating seat from the immensely popular HBO fantasy series can now be yours to own. This exact fiberglass replica was handmade, hand painted, and based on a 3D scan of the actual set piece from the TV show. Every detail has been faithfully reproduced, but luckily this model is a little less sharp and stabby than the actual seat. But remember, when you play the game of thrones, you win or…well, you’ll find out.
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Posted: 31st, March 2013 | In: The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment
A history of Easter Eggs: dipped in Christian blood and covered in chocolate
EASTER is upon us once again, and Christians are muscling in this year, after the success of their campaign to persuade major supermarkets to sell ‘religious’ eggs that represent the true message of the occasion.
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Posted: 31st, March 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Shoppers riot for free cake at the Jining Guihe shopping center
I LIKE cake. You like cake. They love cake.
To mark the eight anniversary of the opening of Chinas’s Jining Guihe shopping center, the owners built an eight-meter-long birthday cake. Chaos resulted as the shopper went nuts for gateau:
Posted: 30th, March 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Is Microwave Cooking for One the saddest book ever written?
IS Microwave Cooking for One the saddest book ever written? Author Marie T Smith looks happy enough with her midnight snack, though. She’s a good eater is Marie…
Spotter: Danny. K.
New horsemeat scandal makes cannibals and dog-eaters of us all
THE horsemeat scandal was particularly troubling, not because we may have all eaten the incredible Mr Ed, but rather, it prompted so many awful jokes that we all wished we’d eaten something fatal instead.
However, horsemeat is the last of your worries after food experts analysed a random dish bought in London which contained ‘mystery meat’.
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Posted: 28th, March 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comments (4)
Fiance of My Little Pony character leaves worrying and angry letter
THE level of some people’s love for My Little Pony is beyond parody. In fact, it is downright worrying. If you do a rudimentary search for ‘bronies’, you’ll find enough material to keep you awake for a whole decade.
One such character has got angry and believes himself to be the fiance of a character called ‘Twilight Sparkle’. Yes, you read that right.
Over at deviantART, where people showcase their artwork of any kind, a user called Kevinsano was creating pieces based on My Little Pony (worrying enough) and the ‘fiance’ took offence at the designs, accusing them of being too sexual in nature (even more worrying).
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Posted: 27th, March 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Everyday Racism in books: Simple Edition by A Little Nigger
It tapped into a theme. Earlier, G.H. Thompson had illustrated Ten Little Nigger Boys, a book he followed up with work on Ten Little Nigger Girls. This was sexual equality racism. Although in the girls’ version the females start at 10 and disappear. The boys grow in number.
Now grab your golliwog and read on….
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Ford Figo advert shows Berlusconi kidnapping three women for a Bunga Bunga Party
THIS Ford Figo* advert in India shows Silvio Berlusconi and 3 ladies on their way to a Bunga Bunga party. Is Silvo kidnapping them? Can Silvio only get women to sleep with him if he ties them up first? Who’s in the back seat, the Yorskhire Ripper?
The caption reads: “Leave all your worries behind.”
Is Silvio going to – you know – dispose of the ‘worries’ lest they tell all to the police? Maybe not. It’s not like he’s in an Indian mini bus, so chances are that the victims will get to live after they’ve been raped.
Posted: 25th, March 2013 | In: Politicians, The Consumer | Comment
Dorset shops bans ‘foreingers’ (anyone who lives 30 miles or more away)
TO Dorset, where Mark Galpin, owner of the Aladdin’s Cave shop in Christchurch has banned tourists from entering.
Mr Galpin displays “clear and polite” signs outside the shop banning anyone living further than a 30-mile radius of the store. His shop is close to a bus depot, and he says the tourists waiting for a ride walk in and kill time. They don’t buy.
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Posted: 25th, March 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment
The oddest book title of the year is about goblins charming chickens
THE winner of the Bookseller’s Diagram Prize for the weirdest book title of the year is…Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop. The blurb tells readers:
Plagued by pixies, goaded by goblins or bothered by gnomes? Help is on the way! Help is here. This is the essential primer for banishing the dark Fairy creatures that are lurking in the dark corners and crevices of your life. In this charming guide, fairy hunter Reginald Bakeley offers practical instructions to clear your home and garden of goblins and banish them forever!
The word charming somewhat kills it, no? It makes the book sound twee and small. ‘Offensive’ would have been better geared to marketing, or ‘inappropriate”. Both are words trending with buzz.
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Tadpole fancier drank pets to smuggle them onboard plane
Posted: 21st, March 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Blue Lady by Vladimir Tretchikoff sells for £1million
THE original Blue Lady by Vladimir Tretchikoff has been sold at auction for £982,050. Painted by the South African settled Russian émigré, the exotic, otherworldly Blue Lady is not to everyone’s taste. In 1974, when Woolworth’s Blue Lady posters were being slapped on a million home walls, William Feaver called it “the most unpleasant work to be published in the 20th century. You’ve got flat form, hair that is not hair at all but is simply an opaque layer of dull and insipid paint. You have shoulders which have no substance, you have muzzy line work”.
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Posted: 21st, March 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment
