The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
The Colony Room bio! a Soho establishment story
I NEVER had the pleasure of being called ‘c*nty’ by Soho’s Colony Room founder and proprietor Muriel Belcher. Some people have all the luck. So, I’ll have to settle for second best.
Sophie Parkin’s history book of the high culture boozing parlour, The Colony Club 1948-2008, is due out on 10 December 2012 – and she’s declared open a dedicated website where you can find more details – click here.
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Bad Ads: the Audi Goatse
BAD Ads: the Audi Goatse:
Posted: 11th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Barbara Hulanicki – ‘Fashion today is so boring’
READY for the Barbara Hulanicki/Biba Brighton exhibition later this month, here’s an excellent documentary interview with the fashion legend, created byJo-ann Fortune for Visit Brighton.
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Royal Blush: Prince Harry is the arse of naked wine
TO Shipston in the Cotwolds, where Sheldon’s Wine Cellars is flogging Royal Blush, a line of booze featuting Dan Lacey’s portrait of naked Prince Harry screwing back on the Las Vegas baize. The rosé is called Royal Blush.
The pinky hues are the exact colour Harry’s cheeks shone after the impromptu game of ping-pong that followed the billards.
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Posted: 10th, September 2012 | In: Royal Family, The Consumer | Comment
In praise of Duane Bryers’s Hilda
IN June 2012, Duane Bryers died. He was 100. He had success as an artist with the syndicated comic strip Cokey. But it was Hilda, his full-figured glamour calendar girl who made him famous. When he was 91, he spoke with Les Toil:
Les: How’s your art going now, Duane?
DB: How’s my heart going? My heart is going surprisingly fine.
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Posted: 10th, September 2012 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Crap celebrity merchandise: the Jedward ‘popping’ bar
THE JEDWARD “popping chocolate bar” are on sale. No, not pooping. Popping.
As Thomas E. Scott says: “Louis Walsh sits in a little nest and lays several of these every hour.”
Spotter: Brendan O’Neill
Posted: 10th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comments (6)
Cargo Collective’s Urban Lights are objects of desire
OBJECTS of desire: Cargo Collective’s Urban Lights – here:
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Posted: 9th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Wiesnkoks festival cocaine banned from Oktoberfest
YOU can’y buy Wiesnkoks at next month’s Oktoberfest in Germany. ‘Wiesnkoks’ – or festival cocaine – is a 5euro sachet filled with dextrose and menthol that comes in a wrap with a straw. The inventors wanted to flog it at the festival but the Oktoberfest organisers it would distract from their beer. A spokesman tells media:
“We don’t want cocaine, nor do we want a sugar mixture which looks like cocaine. We just want guests to enjoy our beer nothing else.”
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Posted: 9th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The corset: before and after photos
BEFORE Spanx, Body Magic, liposuction and Lycra, there was the corset. With the right amount of resistance and stitching, your figure could be altered to defy gravity. Everything went up with a corset – including your chin and eyebrows. They were available for children, too. And they worked. Get a load of these before and after photos:
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Posted: 8th, September 2012 | In: Fashion, Flashback | Comment
The doll and poos and farts
THE doll that poos and farts.
As one commenter puts it:
Pooping I understand. But if the cereal makes her fart every time, she’s obviously lactose intolerant. Please stop feeding her cereal with milk.
The jingle is fitting:
Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The best Champagne Facials (photos)
CHAMPAGNE facials are the work of Kirill Bichutsky – “I take all of the photos…when I’m out shooting parties all over the world…I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy convincing drunk girls into letting me dump champagne on their faces.” Every wondered why champagne is deemed more romantic than, say, a snakebite and black, and footballers squirt it about nightclubs? Says Kirill: “I honestly don’t give a shit. If you think it’s funny, you’re right. If you’re offended, you need to reassess your priorities. Not one girl has complained yet.” Would you do it for a free drink?
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Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Shane Warne’s new hare endorsement
WHAT lies in store for Andrew Strauss, who has announced his retirement from cricket? Will he follow in the highlights of other former England captains Graham Gooch and Michael Vaughan and advocate the wonders of new hair? Will Shane Warne, leading hairologist, need to up his game in the face of competition? QuebecTango wonders:
Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment
Problem solved: A collection of pretty useless inventions for sale
HUMANITY is great. We invent all manner of great things. Some of them is so good they make it into gift ideas catalogues. Other stuff just gets us to the moon and back. In this gallery you will see things that people invented to help the res of us and to get rich:
Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Great British comic updated: photos of a 21st Century Beano
AS the Dandy comic goes belly up, we spare a thought for those other classic comics from our youth. Sexism and racism were commonplace in many organs. Heroism was all. The Second World War was fertile ground for reenforcing prejudices. Football was about kicking an actual ball. Hooliganism arrived in 1976 when Action comic erupted on Fleet Street. Sexual violence was never far from the surface in Norman Saunders’s battle cards. Ah, the glory days. On B3ta, the challenge was put out to update some of the old British comics to see if they could hack it in the modern world. Let’s see:
Posted: 6th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Paralympics ad agency mocks people on benefits
IRIS, the advertising agency the brought the world 2012 Olympic and Paralympics mascots Wenlock and Mandeville, have published their internal staff benefits booklet. This is the organ that explains what the staff are entitled to. The people in the photos all have jobs at the firm, blessed as they (it says here) with “cutting edge insight”.
The ad suggests people on benefits are all feckless scumbags. Wonder what some of the Paralympians make of that..?
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Posted: 6th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Austerity denim by Adele Fado
FASHION update: for all your hipsters with short arms and deep pockets, Italian fashion designer Adele Fado brings you the ultimate austerity jeans. It’s what everyone in Southern Europe’s wearing…
Spotters: Yoox, Heavy Browsing
How to Magazine Modeling, with Parick Sulentine and Parch
HOW to Magazine Modeling, with Parick Sulentine and Parch:
Hitler store owner changes name
RAJESH Shah has bowed to pressure and will reman his “Hitler” fashion shop in Ahmadabad, India. He says it was all a terrific misunderstanding.
Shah denies it was marketing gimmick and hopes his new store “Der Fuhrer” – named in honour of Gary ‘The Leader’ Glitter – is a big hit…
Posted: 4th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Jane Pain: everyday sexism sells an opaque crotch
JANE Pain have a new advert that tells customers: “What you can´t see is all you want to see.” The lingerie is the work of Argentinean designer Patricia Salinas. Is it targeted at men or women? One line is called “fuck” and features a “lolita” range. It’s all pretty to the point – more Ann Summers than the brand is wants to be:
our products are not dictated by the market or meaningless advertising hey are drawn up by private and personal experiences. We follow quality, attention to the details and we refuse to follow fashion’s arbitrary rules.
Rule 1: sex sells.
Posted: 4th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Legitimate Rape is now a contraceptive parody (video)
WHEN Todd Akin taught us about Legitimate Rape, we were all ears. Women cannot get pregnant if they have been legitimately raped. Akin had the facts. Rape victims who carried their attackers’ children were delighted to know that they had been secretly wanted the sex all along. And it made some boffins think. What if those pregnancy-preventing portcullis drugs that stop victims of proper rape from falling pregnant could be harnessed and used as a contraceptive.
Well, wonder no more. Legitimate Rape is the contraceptive you can trust:
Posted: 4th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Finger panting with Ray Massey
ARTIST Ray Massey is finger painting:
Spotter: likecool
Posted: 4th, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The face of teenage acne (photo)
A LOOK at the website AcneCream.com tosses up the face of teenage acne.
This face:
Posted: 3rd, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Guardian’s Larry Elliott gets numbers wrong on meat eaters
YES, yes, of course we should all go off an become vegetarians. Far too many people about eating too much meat and the only way we can feed us all is with mung beans. And lentils.
This may or may not be true but what pisses me off is the numbers used to justify this. Larry Elliott in The Guardian this morning for example:
Meat consumption is rising in China, India and Brazil, and since it takes 7kg of grain to produce 1kg of beef (and 4kg to produce 1kg of pork), this is adding to global demand.
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Posted: 3rd, September 2012 | In: Money, The Consumer | Comments (4)
WH Smith redefines’ everything’ with 20% discount offer
GREAT off at WH Smiths – and just in time for the children heading back to school. “Everything” is 20% off. Well, not quite everything:
Spotter: divaschematic
Posted: 3rd, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
IKEA sells GODIS SKUM sweets
TO IKEA, where the marshmallow sheep are solde beneath the banner “GODIS SKUM”. The Vanilla-flavored marshmallow sheep are devilishly good. IKEA is open on Sundays and sells flat-packed furniture specifically designed to ensure customers take God’s name in vain…
Spotter: Rebecca Noakes@
Posted: 2nd, September 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
